Thursday, May 31, 2012
El Talismán #88: Guns & Hosebags
Abismo de Pasion... ep 57 heyla! heyla! my boyfriend's back!... and the news of the miracle spreads fast... paloma, take a chill pill, she's my sisteh!
El Talisman#87: 5/30/12- By The Pricking of My Thumbs, Something Wicked This Way Comes
If God should withhold His mercy from anyone on Earth, Monsieur, it surely will be you! M. Hercule Poirot
We start today where we left off yesterday in the deep, dark woods at night, between El Talisman and Alcatrash as two men are riding horses. Pedro is going along on his horse, when Pigorio spots him. Pigorio has a gun, points it at Pedro, aims and fires, and Pedro proceeds to drop and roll, (thanks Rosemary la Otra). Pigorio aims the gun again to finish the job, when, wait for it, Margarito is heard yelling in the background, and with a flashlight, proceeds to the sound of the shot. Pigorio seeing his opportunity has flown the coop, leaves the area. (Note to Pigorio: You can't hit the broad side of a barn, jus' sayin'). Margarito comes with his flashlight and finds Pedro knocked out and carries him back to El Tal.
Meanwhile, back at El Talisman, noone has heard the shots. Manuel and Maria have come to pay a visit to Mariana to make sure she is ok. She is with Santiago, and they have a nice conversation about how she is ok, and she is glad that Maria and Manuel are doing so well. This little visit ends with Manuel giving Mariana a hug and a kiss. Then he and Maria leave. Santiago says you love your Papa very much? Mariana says yes.
Cameela, in her martial bed at Alcatrash, listens to "Dr." Raimundo tell her to get some rest. He will give her something to sleep. The old Beltbuckle wants her to get better, sooner rather than later, so she can have, wait for it, Mis Hijos. They leave the room and Tracy has come in. Cameela is very nervous about this operation. Tracy tells her to be calm, and can she bring her anything? Cameela says she has a pill to sleep. Tracy tells her that everything will be ok, just get some rest, and goes to leave the room. Tracy wants to know if she wants the lights on or off. Cameela says leave them on. Tracy leaves.
Panchito is meeting with his Piggy Papa and El Porko wants to know the chisme on Mariana? Anything, anything at all???? Panchito tells El Porko, no, nada. El Porko wishes Mariana were dead. Panchito is so not happy to hear that.
Mariana decides to come sneak around Alcatrash. She is wanting to see Cameela rather badly. (Note to Mariana, love how you have the AVACADOES noone else seems to have, over there at El Tal, jus' sayin'). She is hiding around the corner, when "Dr" Raimundo and The Prince of Darkness stop to have a little chat. The Prince of Darkness says this plan for Cameela to have this fake cancer was a good idea, now they can get rid of that baby, and Cameela can commence to having his hijos. Mariana hears every word. (Note to Mariana, please stay hidden, don't move. Just listen).
Over at El Tal, we see Pedro, in his bed all alone, sleeping. He is dreaming of Cameela and wakes up. Seems he wasn't hit by no El Porko bullet. And now he can't go back to sleep. Pedro has drifted off and wakes up and Padre is in his room. Padre is keeping watch over him, to make sure he is ok. Bless you Padre. Padre asks how he is feeling. Pedro says he fell off his horse and has some bumps and bruises, but otherwise is ok. He says he really can't sleep because he is very concerned about Cameela. (Ed Note: I don't know if he told Padre about the failed attempt to kill him).
Valentin and Lucrazy are in the cabana and she is begging him to let her go to El Talisman. Valentin tries to talk her out of it. She says she wants to drive Mariana crazy forevs. Now with Cameela out of the way, and Mariana on her way to being crazy as a loon, Pedro es Mio will be all Mio. Well, Valentin can't turn his back for a moment, cause, she disappears and Valentin goes to look for her.
The Prince of Darkness escorts "Doc" Raimundo to the door, they don't see Mariana, and she starts to creep around the corner. Now she really wants to find Cameela's room, so she can tell her the truth about what she heard. (Note to Mariana, please be careful girl. You are in enemy territory. Ya shoulda brought a weapon, jus' sayin'). "Doc" Raimundo wants to know where is the rest of my dinero? He says when the "operation" is done, he will get the rest of his blood money. The Prince of Darkness says you will never have a baby with es Indio.
Doris is in El Porko's bed. She wants to know if he wants a pill. He is nervous about Doris being in his bed, what if Tracy walks in? (Note to El Porko, look dude she ain't comin' in there, she's rather run for the hills than come in there jus' sayin'). Uh, oh, he hears a noise. Doris doesn't hear anything. He tells Doris open the drawer of the bedside table. She thinks he wants a pill to calm himself, but, oh, no, he wants his gun. He opens the bedroom door and Mariana has ducked into an alcove, so she won't be discovered. El Porko thinks he is hearing things and goes back into the room. (Note to Mariana: Good work so far, now run and find that room).
Mariana finally finds Cameela's room and goes in and Cameela is sleeping. She tries to wake Cameela up. She finally succeeds in waking Cameela. Cameela is shocked to see, the avacadoes Mariana has, not really, but you know. Anyhoo, Mariana says she has come to see Cameela cause Pedro wanted a report, not really again, but hey, it works. Anyhoo, Pedro is very concerned about Cameela and she wanted to come see her and make sure she is ok, but listen, I have something to tell you. Are you ready, Cameela, ya sure, not really, but she tells Cameela that she wants her to be happy with Pedro now that she has the proverbial bun in the oven, in other words, Pedro's bebe in tummy. You are with child and this ain't no immaculate conception, get the drift? Well, Cameela thinks that Mariana has gone round the bend. She is so not buying this. Well, Mariana, bless her heart, tells Cameela everything "Doc" Raimundo and the Prince of Darkness said, while she was sneaking around to find Cameela. Mariana says in the morning they are going to abort your bebe. Stop them from hurting you. (Note to the Prince of Darkness: See above quote). She wants Cameela to leave Alcatrash tout de suite. They are very anxious, you could cut the tension with a knife in that room. Cameela spills the frijoles to Mariana about why she really married the Prince of Darkness. Cameela is finally beleiving Mariana about having the little Pedro in the oven, and Mariana is pressing her to leave.
Meanwhile back at El Tal, Gabe is outside in the dark forest, pondering all of Sarita's witchings about getting married, doncha know. Juancho comes to talk to him. Gabe says he ain't gettin married in the morning, well ya know what I mean. Anyhoo, he is bored, misses Sartia and is going to the cabana on El Tal to find her. Geno comes by and runs into Juancho with some things for the orphanage. When, wait for it, they see a mysterious figure in hoody, jeans, those four inch heels (Thanks Rosemary la Otra) and sunglasses at night. (Note to Lucrazy: Why didn't ya wear the white gown, drown yourself in white powder and really look ghostly, jus' sayin'.). They are freaked out. They want to go tell Pedro, as in runtelldat. Ms Sunglasses at Night laughs to herself and gives herself a pat on the back, for them having seen her.
Now what have we here, hummm. It's en flagrante time, it seems. Gabe has come to see Sarita, and she's dressed as a, wait for it, belly dancer. That's right, veil and all. She is doing the come hither dance and Gabe is soooo into that. They end up, umm, ya know, En Flagrante. Now in their En Flagrante afterglow, Sarita, is wait for it, witching about Gabe marrying her again. He is still not with getting married, and he says she isn't preggers so what is the rush? He isn't ready. She pouts.
Valentin has not been able to find Ms. Sunglasses at Night, so he goes and rats her out to the Prince of Darkness. He wants a gun, as he goes to "hunt" for her, he thought bubbles she should be dead for realz. Meanwhile, Ms Sunglasses at Night has made it to El Tal, just as she is about to go closer to the door, she is grabbed by the Prince Of Darkness. She isn't happy. The Prince of Darkness has escorted Ms Sunglasses at Night, back to the cabana, and reminds her once again she is dead, dead I tell you. He orders Valentin to stay with her. She is pithed. So the Prince of Darkness leaves and she is alone with Valentin. She tries to bribe him to let her go back to El Tal. In a year, I'll have money, and can pay you then, (Note to Ms Sunglasses At Night: Is the same thing as buy me a hamburger today,and I'll pay you tomorrow? ). Valentin is like no way El Patron, Prince of Darkness with kill me. Well, now what have we here, ummmm Satan (Sorry was thinking of the Church Lady from SNL). Anyhoo, she is trying, of all things, her en flagrante skills on him, rubbing up against him, putting moves on him, as he is staring at her bugeyed!!! She is using every en flagrante skill she has on him, but oh, no it isn't working. He won't disobey the Prince of Darkness. He tells her that if she were to be caught at El Tal, they would throw her Sunglasses at Night in jail, for faking her death, and besides Pedro wouldn't and couldn't visit her in jail. She is very verklempt. Ms Sunglasses at night has settled down for the night, and Valentin is reading a paper, and suddenly thinks about all the crimes he has committed, dropping Mariana off in LA in the slums, the car bombing of Tia Patty and Claudio, and stealing Pedro's gun. He thought bubbles oh, Dios Mio, I'm going straight to hell. Not really, but you get the gist.
Now we get to the crux of this epi. (Ed Note: Was very verklempt about this part of the epi, but bear with me). The Prince of Darkness has come back to Alcatrash, flips on the light in the living room and sees Mariana and Cameela together. Well The Prince of Darkness is so NOT Happy to find Mariana there with Cameela. He wants to know what she is doing at Alcatrash. Mariana says she came to protect Cameela from him! Cameela tells him he is a killer (See M. Poirot's quote above). She spills the beans about everything Mariana heard him say to the "Doc". He swears he doesn't know what they are talking about (Note to the Prince of Darkness: Look Focker (Thanks Sara, over there at Abismo for that), the jig is up, already, you lost). He accuses Mariana of being crazy. She tells him because of you , I lost our baby, and now you want to kill Cameela's baby. Well about this time the Focker, draws a gun, and both women are scared to death. The Focker says that Pedro is an Indio and that it is Pedro's baby and he wants Cameela to be the mama of MIS HIJOS. He points the gun at the two very scared women and Mariana, bless her heart, gets right in front of Cameela to protect her from the Prince of Darkness. He grabs Mariana around the neck and the Focker points the gun at Cameela's womb. She calls him a baby killer and a coward. Well Cameela struts forward, having got some Avacadoes of her own, and pushes the Prince of Darkness. He loses his aim and is pointing the gun at both of them. They are not standing together now and he has lost all reason and control. Cameela and Mariana are really screaming at him.
This wakes the El Porko up out of a "dead" sleep. He is like QTH is going on. The first thing he does is get his gun from the bedside table. He says there are always problems here, ya think, and most of them of YOUR OWN DOING! He puts his robe on and goes to investigate. (By the way, Doris has been gone for awhile, see bottom of recap for that).
Meanwhile the Prince of Darkness says he doesn't care if he kills her. Mariana says he'll end up in jail. He has Mariana by the neck and Cameela sees her chance and runs out the door and into the night. The Focker lets go of Mariana to chase Cameela and that leaves poor Mariana alone. Now in comes Focker II. He has his gun, and can't beleive he is seeing Mariana in HIS CASA right in front of him. The first thing Mariana says is you are a Maldito for killing my bebe. (Note to Mariana: Girlfriend ya shoulda pretended you know nothink jus' sayn'). You killed my bebe. So now Focker II thinks that poor Mariana has got her memory back. He points the gun at her and says now you will truly be dead. Mariana is still saying you killed my bebe. Focker II points the gun at Mariana and aims and says, now you will be quiet forever. Meanwhile, Cameela is running for her life, toward El Tal in the woods. Is is very dark and she is running like the hounds of hell are on her tail. Unfortunely, the Focker I catches up with her, and still with gun in hand, puts a hand over her mouth so noone can hear her. (See M. Hercule Poirot's quote above for both Fockers).
Sarita, Gabe (after the afterglow)., Geno, Juancho, Pedro are talking about seeing Ms. Sunglasses at Night, the ghost. Bet she's dead, Bet she ain't. This goes on for awhile. Back and forth until, Sarita, bless her heart, says, well look, what if she ISN'T REALLY DEAD; Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner. Pedro says he will investigate the grounds with Margarito, everyone else stays inside, capiche??? Pedro goes to his office to find his gun, which lo and behold, is missing. Well he can't find it anywhere, so he and Margarito arm themselves with, wait for it, RIDING CROPS, really dudes, you don't have axes, or pitchforks, just sayin' Any ways, they go to investigate the grounds, and this is what Focker I hears and covers Cameela's mouth.
El Virus is yammering to Army about, I'm so worried about Cameela, doncha know. Army isn't down with that. She wonders why noone beleives her, (Listen Lady I almost gave you the nom de plume of Focker III just saying). She yammers on and on, until Army says, okey dokey, I believe ya, just shut up already, not really, but you get the drift. The phone rings and it is Tia Maria spending the night at Manuels she just wanted to let them know. Army says fine I'll pass the message on. Well El Virus, ain't liking that, oh my sista is such a ho, oh, please shut your yammering pie hole already. Anyway, Army also tells her that Tia Maria will be at the hospital to look in on Cameela tomorrow. My sister the ho, only cares about that guy and not my Cameela, oh please.
And there was a little tete a tete with Angel and Flor at the Only Ice Cream Parlor in Fresno. They are having a little ice cream(and by the way it looked yummy). They are starting to really like each other, as Angel really gazes into her eyes and she blushes.
Doris has a meeting with Brigette the same old same old. If there was anything new please add.
El Porko, also known as Focker II, aims and fires the gun at Mariana! Will the bullet find the mark? Tune into tomorrow to find out!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Refugio 5/30: Gawd, will someone just commit murder already?
Anyway, the curtain rises on our noble maid-girl, valiantly struggling to clean a ritzy bathroom. The witchy mayordomo/butlerette Brigida (more like FRIGIDa, amirite?) thinks she's not doing it fast enough and chews her out a bit. Anyway, there is much fuss among the "servidumbre," serving-folk over the Rod's red jacket. . . He needs it! Where is it! You fool, you can't even find it, never mind, don't get it! I found it! Hold on, here I come with the red jacket! While delivering the divisive garment, Luciana recognizes Rod from back home (I didn't quite catch where her village is, but they mentioned something about having to take a long bus to get to Chiapas on the way to D.F., making the trip ridiculously long, like, as farther than much of Mexico is from Texas) and has an ohhhh shit moment.
Gala seems to have some kind of fashion-related job (?), but spends most of the day chatting with her mom about the wedding.
Frigida continues to be mean (she is an excellent source of spiteful insult vocab), but the nice maid (I forget her name) confides in Luci that the woman is just a bitchy culebrita.
The mom (name?) yells at her daughter about table manners (after the girl sat down at the table and started hollering for food), but it seems to be little more than a recreational bout of insults. After all, there is a bug up her butt. She doesn't like how her kids have been fraternizing with the help. You know the rules in this house, she says, the servants have their place and we have ours. I have only watched 20 minutes of this show and I already have a headache from being repeatedly beat over the head with the "social divide" message. I'll bring my aspirin next week.
Maximino, the Dad, comes in to gaze mournfully at his wounded son, to surprisingly active and pulsing music.
Back in indian-land, Luci's mom isn't too happy. The big fat villain dude has been leaning on her and her friend (Violeta's mom) to find out where Luci went.
Speak of the devil, here's the fat man himself (is his name Aquile?), conspiring with his henchman. I find it hard to take him seriously as a villain. He just looks so jolly and avuncular, even when he's scheming dastardly schemes!
A note from your grumpy astronomer: shockingly, it's still a full moon in Mexico City! Seriously, in every show, it's the same. Every single time the sun went down in Familia, there it was! It must be an ominous portent of some sort. Beware, bad writing ahead!
Rodrigo/Patricio's mom (Roselena?) has sent Luciana new duds. Frigida thinks her current ones are too peasant-y (the word she used cracked me up: "silvestre," or wild and woodsy). Gee, I kinda liked them. But the new maid suit is pretty cute too.
Oh yay! If you hadn't realized that Rodrigo's family was wealthy yet, here's a scene where he discusses business over golf with some English-speaking guys in suits.
Luciana brings Patricio his apple juice, and opens the curtains to provide a more appropriately angelic lighting for the scene where he recognizes her. He finally lets out his emotions when he remembers their first meeting, and she cradles his bandaged head. Later, in the kitchen, everyone is delighted that Luci got Patty to eat most of his breakfast.
Rodrigo calls home, Luci picks it up, and she freaks when he realizes who she is. She hangs up, tells Frigida that the call was dropped, and looks a bit ill.
Rod, for his part is drinking with some dopey americans who are ogling the girls in the par. Yet another scene where nothing much happens
The family gets ready for the party. A swarm of workers assembles a fancy backyard tent with indoor-looking furniture, and Luci is on the hors d'oeuvre detail. You can tell Rod is rich and self-entitled because he strides into the kitchen, takes a chomp out of something small and delicate, and puts it back on the silver platter. Then he sees Luciana, for a dramatic cut, and the music plays. She looks like she's got ants in the pants, but he totally doesn't get that she might be uncomfortable, barreling ahead with the I-remember-yous.
Rod's sister begins to plug down martiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinis, which will be a recurring theme tonight.
In the living room, a gaggle of ladies discusses servants. "Matilda is the best!" "You should watch out with that Luci chick... I would never let a girl in a skirt that near my two boys!"
Aha! Finally, some intrigue and crime! Some old dude just got out of prison ("the house") for something he "didn't do," and encounters another old dude. This other old dude asks him to discretely do "a little job."
The useless sis (Ana) is on the job at the party, bearing a huge handful of garishly colored martinis. At last, Rodrigo shows up at his own party.
Now some other guy wanders into the kitchen, next in line to sneak a snack and fall in love with Luciana. Oh, and now Gala is also mean to Luci. Then she questions Rod's kidness to servants. On her way out of the kitchen, Luci bumps into the most recent guy from the kitchen, who still hasn't managed to eat the mouthful of cheese and ham on his toothpick.
Then I missed a few minutes of the show when my precariously-poised leaf antenna (an amazing thing: this flat-as-paper 8.5x11 antenna plugs into the back of the tv and pulls crystal-clear univision out of the air) fell off the back of the lamp where I'd propped it.
The next thing I know, Rod is beckoning Luci into his cave. Yikes! But it's not just a come on, it's where they keep the wine and champagne (god, these people can't stop saying the word "champan..." I've never heard the word dropped so many times in a 2-hour period). Luci wisely hypothesizes that Rod will make an advance on her and then she'll lose her job. He starts by trying to impress her with wine snobbery (seriously?). Nonetheless (despite the dumb attempt) they wind up locking eyes over the fumbled wine bottles and he kisses her! She resists, he goes in for another, and she SLAPS HIM. YES! He says the kiss was an "accident," but he won't let her leave the cave. He tries to say it didn't mean anything, but she stays tough and asks him to consider this from her point of view. "After all, your mom would poison me if she found out."
Back at the party, they have started a lazy conga line to vapid club music. Well, I shouldn't call them lazy, they're just trying not to spill their cocktails (the shallow angles of a martini glass are more prone to sloshing, I'd bet). Nonetheless, this party seems a little lame.Gala notices her fiancee's absence, and goes looking for him. No, wait - she's not worried about him, she just wants her champagne!
At Violetta's bar, some guys (are they the same ones from the jail scene?) yank her into a back room to threaten and bribe her, alternately wagging a wad of cash in her face and making menacing faces. They seem to have something against her, as they make threats of getting her jailed. She protests, and says "but she's my friend." The thug replies "a man's only friend is money." She gives up the address.
The hens are nattering about the Gala's previous divorce in the party. I must admit, I'm not paying much attention, as I'm waiting for Gala to walk in on Rod in the wine cave with Luciana and liven things up a bit.
Speaking of the cave, Rod is still showing off for Luci, but this time it's champagne. He tries to be slick about it, and happens to make it a metaphor for himself as something Luci should give a chance (you should try it! It's rich and new and exciting, and may have a bitter taste at first [ie the unwanted kiss], but you'll learn to love it). She thinks "I see what you did there," and replies "but... isn't it for Gala (she who demanded the champagne)? He shamelessly replies "yes, but won't you try a sip?"
The sis Jana is smashed, and spills her drink on someone's cousin. Fortunately, he's smashed too, yells WOOO, hops on a couch and chugs champagne. Meanwhile, Gala is storming around, looking for her champagne.
We cut to commercials, and see the clip of Luci back in the village painting rustic pots. Boy, she'd probably get groped a lot less if she quit her job and sold pots on Etsy.
Jana and the girls are getting progressively drunker. Now they're in the kitchen, dipping cheese and ham cubes into their yellow martinis. Gala walks in, all uptight and looking for Rod, uh, her champagne. They make fun of her, and pretend to look in cabinets. The word "champan" is thrown around a lot more. Luciana overhears Rod's mushiness for Gala in a new light and flashes-back to the kiss.
Now for the toast! Rod gives a speech we know is false, talking about his parents' marriage (which we know to be treacherous) and his devotion to Gala (which we know to be suspect). Then he toasts his brother (who is still alone in his room) and casually shows Gala the ring.
Jana and her smashed friend come to Pat tooffer him his choice of grotesquely colored Martini. He is still grumpy, and the friend goes to get a straw. The drunken girls briefly consider the risk of alcohol interacting with whatever medications Pat might be on, but carry on. They head back to the party, where there is really some absurd mass drunkenness. I wonder if someone will get sick? The mom comes to shut 'em down. Aguafiestas! But they find a huge row of garish martini's next to the dance floor, and all is well!
Rod and Gala try to pour some champan down Pat's throat, but he says he can't drink well without Luciana.
In the kitchen, Matilda demands that Luciana give Rod a hug and a congratulations. THAT's when Gala strolls in to be a grump about fraternizing with la servidumbre.
After this storm of grumpiness, it's Luci's turn to sulk a bit, but Matilde tells her that Gala is just jealous of how pretty she is.
There's some more scenes of drunks hanging on at the party, and Luci gazing at her virgencita and reminiscing. Geez, this is boring. I hope someone will hurry up and kill someone, that might liven things up a bit.
LQNPA 5/30/12 # 111: While the Cat’s Away, Poor Goose is Cooked!
La Que No Podía Amar Capitulo 111, 5/30/12
While the Cat’s Away, Poor Goose is Cooked!
Rogelio and Ana Paula are in Tuxtla, making preparations and tests for Rogelio’s spinal operation - if they can manage to get a loan or insurance coverage for it, that is. Cynthia and Gustavo have been left in charge of the hacienda, and Gustavo is putting his foot down about Cynthia staying there to take responsibility even though she desperately wanted to run off to Tuxtla to help with Mercedes’ wedding instead. Goose is not in a good mood these days - his ditzy, irresponsible wife is becoming too big a handful. María has found out the true nature of Cynthia’s relationship with Efraín, but Cynthia managed to convince her to guard the secret for now. Efraín has been very aggressive toward Cynthia, but she convinced him that they can’t just run away like he’s insisting because she’s not leaving her inheritance behind. Poor Margarito is forbidden by uppity Tía to play with the farm hands anymore since he is now the patroncito. Ana Paula finds out directly from Vainessa’s mother, that she (Elsa) in fact caused her father’s death by denying him his heart pills when he had his attack. Later, Vainy denied knowing that she had any idea what her mother did. Two-faced Vainy is playing the repentant sister claiming that learning what her mother did has opened her eyes. She is attempting to get on Ana Paula’s good side, offering to take Ana Paula to visit her fathers ashes, and even offering to loan the money Rogelio needs for his operation and for the hacienda.
Refrito: Cynthia’s grade school speech to the ganaderos and Ana Paula arguing with Vainy about a loan to Rogelio. Rogelio returns to the table, and Vainy pushes really hard with the loan idea and sucking up to AP. Rogelio observes with Vainessa and Ana Paula talking like that - it looks like you two are great friends.
Nuevo: At the restaurant table Vainy is still trying to score points by offering to loan Ana Paula and Rogelio the money they need to borrow. It looks like über-naive AP has been at least partially suckered by Vain’s hoodwink-my-sister campaign, thinking that Vainy is willing to work together to reconcile as was their father’s dying wish. Vainy even offers to take AP to visit her, um, their father’s remains. Rogelio, however, appears quite skeptical. He apparently does not trust Vainy on this point, and neither does Viewerville. We know she has already sworn to make Rogelio and AP miserable or die trying, and if anyone is motivated by venganza (revenge), Vainy is.
Back at the hacienda, Tía, who wouldn’t let Margaro pay fútbol with the ranch hands, is making a poor substitute, and then complaining about her weak heart. Fortunately Miguel (who, as Tío, qualifies as an acceptable playmate) shows up to take over and starts showing off soccer moves every young man aspires to master. Margaro comments to Miguel that his aunt is a little odd. Miguel concurs.
trato - deal, dealings, treatment, personal relationship, interaction
convivencia - living together, coexistence
agotado - exhausted, worn-out
¡no te pases de lista conmigo! - don’t try to outsmart/pull a fast one on me! [Efraín to Cynthia in ep #110]
pasarse de listo - be too clever for one’s own good or to try to pull a fast one
tomar a la ligera - to take lightly/carelessly/without due care
tomar en serio - to take seriously
en juego - in play; at stake
hablar de dientes para afuera - to pay lip service
de dientes para afuera - insincerely
echar(le) ganas - to make an effort
todo lo contrario - quite the opposite/reverse
a partir de manaña - from tomorrow on (or starting tomorrow)
pueblo chico, inferno grande - the smaller the town, the bigger the scandal. Apparently this was also the name of a Mexican telenovela broadcast in 1997 and staring Juan Soler - translated more literally as “Little Town, Big Hell”
cuidarse - to take care of yourself. Commonly used in telenovelas as a euphemism for using birth control.
Here was a good one that I understood exactly what Goose meant in context, but it took me a while to figure out how to express it accurately and naturally in English:
Tú no terminas de entender que esto es algo que no puedas tomar a la ligera.
You aren’t coming to understand that this is something that you can’t take lightly.
Augusto Got His Gun Capitulo 56, Abismo de Pasion
Dateline, La Ermita, Yucatan State, Mexico
From the CNN Newsroom
This is Cameron Hooper of CNN. (Dramatic pause. Viewerville’s TV screens fill up with an impossibly handsome face, with many WHITE teeth, green contact lenses and airbrushed makeup. It’s the face of a man who loves to walk down big-city streets in the daytime where he can catch the many glimpses of his face in the reflective surfaces.)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news; Don Augusto Castañon, well-respected agronomist and habanero grower in the ancient village of La Ermita, Yucatan, was just seen taking a shotgun and entering the Civil Registry office, in La Ermita. Witnesses on the scene say that Castañon is apparently trying to stop the civil wedding of his daughter, Elisa Castañon Bouvier, 24, to Damian Arango Mondragon, 28, both of La Ermita.
Our Fly on the Wall reporter Elna June is there, live, in La Ermita at the Civil Registry.
Cam: EJ, can you hear me
EJ: Yes, Cam, I can hear you just fine. The scene here is somewhat chaotic with a single gunshot having been fired and now a Municipal Police presence here at the Registry. The police came in body armor to take down ‘Gusto Catfood but this proved completely unnecessary as Castañon came quite peacefully.
Cam: Did you say Gusto Catfood? Is that the man’s street name in Mexico? Is he a big drug Lord?
EJ: (Impatiently) No, no, no. It’s a nickname he has amongst the Fly on the Wall Reporters. …Wait, here is someone whom I think was a witness to the event! Paloma, Paloma! Here Paloma, in front of the camera. Paloma is the best friend of the bride and daughter of the shooter. EJ holds a disheveled Paloma’s arm.
EJ: Paloma, what happened in there?
Paloma: Oh, it was awful. Elisa and Damian were just about to say their vows when in walked Don Augusto with a gun…
After interviewing Paloma and other witnesses these appear to be the facts:
- Augusto Castañon came into the Registry Office, brandishing a shotgun and demanding that the wedding be stopped.
- Father Guadalupe Mondragon, La Ermita’s parish priest, bravely faced down and tried to take the gun from ‘Gusto Catfood.
- Damian Arango was shot in the thigh during a tussle between Father Lupe and Castañon to recover the shotgun.
- The town priest is also the injured man’s uncle.
- The gun appears to have discharged accidently, BUT Augusto had pumped in a round just before the tussle.
- Elisa screamed that she would never forgive her father.
- Don Lucio, godfather to the bride and the priest walked Damian out of the Registry to get immediate medical help.
- We will keep you informed as the story unfolds.
Away from the main action, at the Casa Castañon the teeny, tiny Brown Recluse Carmina Bouvier Castañon a.k.a. HOMAB, opens a letter from her beloved. No, it is not from her husband, Augusto Castañon, who is currently engaging in activity that in this country would be considered attempted homicide, but from her Italian lover, Paolo Landucci. As if by magic, a desperate Paolo calls his girl on the phone, complaining that he spent the whole weekend waiting to hear from her. Waaa, he whines. He is sad. He has blue parts. She tortures him for a moment in the way of all spiders and then agrees, Fine, she will meet him in a half-hour. She leaves the house.
Carmina and Paolo meet for coffee. He is suffering. He wants to go to the Blue House of Shame to relieve his blue parts. Well, that casa is no longer available, says HOMAB Carmina. Let’s try a hotel in Merida! They head out.
Gossip Wounds and Sometimes Kills
Edmundo Tovar and Begone-ya are fighting again. “Only you could say you saw me at a hotel where I wrote orders for an Exam for Damian and Elisa, and as you do, spread this gossip to the whole village! Now, because of you, Begonia, I have a very bad problem!” Your recapper is not sure to just which problem Edmundo refers here; it seems to me he has many.
But Begonia doesn’t care about Edmundo’s problems. Edmundo knows that and berates her for caring more about Alfonsina than she does her own family. He doesn’t agree with Begone having kicked Enrique out of the house! You tell her Edmundo! This is such a satisfying scene.
They fight some more about Enrique, Paloma and moral values. Finally, Edmundo asks Begonia for a divorce and puts his wedding ring on the dining room table.
Cameron Hooper here, (serious look at the camera) in the CNN Newsroom. We have our Fly on the Wall Reporter Elna June on the spot in La Ermita, Yucatan, for a breaking story of a shotgun wedding that didn’t come off. EJ?
EJ: Thanks, Cameron. I am here at the Civil Registry in La Ermita and I am witnessing Doña Alfonsina Arango rush in and confront Don Augusto Catfood Castañon, who has just shot her son. She is accompanied by her henchman in all things, GABINO MENDOZA, a handsome thug and by all accounts an excellent boyfriend, according to first hand reports. The henchman is said to have excellent taste in jewelry. He may also have a crush on one of our Fly on the Wall Reporters, Cynderella La Novia.
Alfie: Did they get married?
Gusto: No. I am sorry—I didn’t mean to hurt your son. It was an accident.
Alfie: What are you saying Augusto? Is he dead?
Gusto: No Damian is in the Medical Center.
Alfie: I swear, You will pay for this.
Then Alfonsina turned to Gabino and they headed out for the Medical Center in Merida.
Back to Casa Castañon
Braulio walks a very shaken Delores (Lolita) back to Casa Castañon. She has to tell Carmina what happened. ( Of course we know that, at this VERY dramatic moment, Carmina is over getting her teeth rattled by the Italian Stallion himself). Delores and Braulio have a little moment, and he tells her he loves her.
Meanwhile, when Elisa comes in, Lolita comforts her,
Lolita: “Dear, Damian is fine, you saw him yourself, he's in a better mood than any of us.”
Elisa: “But you saw he was bleeding a lot!”
Lolita: ”Elisa, don't worry dear, he's getting help and he's in very good hands. With God's help and the doctor’s everything will be fine, you'll see.”
Elisa, understandably, cannot believe that her father has shot Damian. Delores insists that it was an accident. Delores will go see her father and when she returns she will check on Damian.
Elisa At The Hospital
Elisa heads to the Hospital where she sees Lucio and Padre Lupe in the waiting room. Lupe gives her the Priest Mantra—as follows:
Calm down. We must have faith. Everything will be fine. Take a seat.
He goes to tell Alfonsina she is there. He says he has to. As his mother, she has to know what's going on. This should be a lovely meeting between Elisa and Alfonsina. NOT.
Lolita, Braulio and Horacio
Braulio wants to know if his presence has made everything better, “Did the fear go away?” Lolita answers honestly, “No, not really but I'll better calm down or I won't be any use to anybody.”
Braulio places her in a chair and leans down to give her a kiss. Just then Horacio walks in and sarcastically asks if he is interrupting anything. Delores rejects him and tells him to think whatever he wants. That’s a big WHATEVER, Horacio.
Horacio starts to push the point with a threat to tell Antonia about Braulio and Lolita when Braulio interrupts and explains about what just happened. Augusto Castañon just wounded Damian with a gun!
Elisa and Alfonsina Mano a Mano
Elisa is explaining to Father Lupe what everybody there already knows, “Damian and I wanted to get married without his mom or my dad knowing.” Alfonsina flies in on the wind with the furies. She turns on Lupe, “How is my son? What happened to him?”
Father Guadalupe answers in measured tones, “Damian has a wounded leg, sister, but he's being assisted already, everything is under control, and we’re just waiting to get more information.”
Alfonsina turns her venom on Elisa. “This is all your fault, you can be happy now, get out of here!”
You can be happy now? Really Alfonsina? In what land would a bride be happy that her father shot the groom. You are one nasty Black Widow and you are envenoming our Elisa.
The Black Widow gets right in Elisa’s face and yells, “I said get out of here! Gabino, take her out!”
In a scene that must have been a familiar repetition from childhood, Lupe says, “Alfonsina, for god's sake, behave sister. But Alfonsina can’t act nice at the best of times and right now she hysterically repeats, “I can't behave while this girl is still here. I don't want her to be here, she has to leave, I don't want her to be here!”
Padre, who sees the writing on the wall, persuades Elisa, that it is best if goes home, He promises to personally deliver any news about Damian.
Elisa leaves. Ummmm, why can’t she just wait in a different waiting room?
Alfonsina sends Gabino to wreck vengeance on Augusto and keep him in jail forever.
Several People Are Nicer to Gusto Catfood Than He Deserves
Don Lucio comes to see Gusto Catfood in jail. Gusto asks about Damian. They have more endless conversation about Elisa is/is not Catfood’s daughter. Snooze…..OK. I’ll translate some of this convo. Grump. Grump.
Gusto: If anything serious happens to that boy, I'll never forgive myself.
Lucio: You should have thought about that before you did such stupid thing! How could you go there with a gun, you dolt?
Augusto: I didn't mean to hurt anybody, all I wanted was to make sure Damian and Elisa forget about this idea of getting married. You perfectly know why I had to stop that wedding.
Lucio wouldn’t have let them get married if he thought Elisa and Damian were sibs. With the prenuptial analyses Edmundo requested another test to confirm if the kids are siblings. Edmundo was headed to the lab in Merida to get the results but before Lucio came to the jail. Of course, Lucio doesn’t know that Carmina made the test result snatch just outside the Registry.
Augusto gets the same bovine look on his face, he knows the results will be the same as before, “Yo sé que elisa no es mi hija.”
Now he drones on and on about Stef made a fool of him his whole life, she gave the necklace to GABINO MENDOZA as a blackmail payment to keep the secret of the STef/Rosendo affair, Blah, blah, blah.
Lucio gives Gusto Catfood some very good advice, paraphrased as follows:
“Stop fixating on your hate fantasies. You have big boy problems here. Even if Damian is OK, Alfie’s gonna get you, big time.”
Lucio will do everything he can to help Gusto, including raise bail if it is set. He leaves.
Edmundo Tovar, M.D. Arrives At The Hospital
Edmundo arrives at the hospital and is accosted by Alfonsina. “Ay, Edmundo, What is happening with my son? Look what time it is and they haven't let me see him.”
Edmundo tries to catch his breath and says, “I don't know, Alfonsina, Paloma just told me what happened, I just arrived. Let’s go to see and as soon as I have news I'll let you know.
Alfonsina criticizes the clinic and its doctors and threatens to take Damian to Merida. But Edmundo is not in the mood, “You won't take him anywhere! Until we know how he is, you won't take him from here. And if you don't calm down, I'll give you a sedative or I'll send you home, got it? Now, I'll go to see what's going on.”
Ooowweee! Edmundo is starting to be my Big Boy. Go Big Boy. I like it when you yell at those mean broads.
Back at Casa Castañon, Elisa comes in and surprises Lolita. “And, and why didn't you stay at the medical center, dear?” “Because Alfonsina arrived and she kicked me out, says Elisa. “But... Why did you do what she said? As if she owned the place, “ asks a puzzled Delores?
But Elisa explains that she didn't want to cause more conflict. She is stressed enough about Damian. And the truth is that though he was in the best mood, something tells her this is very serious.
“I'm desperate! I don't know what's going on with him, I do no know when I'll see him again! If Sra. Alfonsina kicked me out of the hospital, do you think she'll let me see him in her house?” Ah, that's a negative, Elisa, for sure.
Lolita tells her to calm down. I am tired of everyone telling her to calm down. Her father just shot her lover and bridegroom for heaven’s sake! She has had a really BAD day. If ever there was a time to wax hysterical this is it!
Elisa now finds out from Lolita that Augusto turned himself in to the police and he is in the carcel. Elisa notes that her padrino told her he would go to find out how things were with Augusto, but she needs to know. Does her Tia Carmina know what is going on?” “No, no,” Says, Delores. “Because when I got home she wasn't here, and who knows where she might be. Duh, duh, duh.”
Now Kenia pays a visit to La Casa C. She tells a very distraught looking Elisa, “I came to see you because I'm very worried about my brother. I imagine you already know he left the La Ermita, right? And since you're such close friends, I thought you might know where he is.
Elisa now explains about the happenings of the day and her concern about Damian. “Damian is very seriously injured he's at the medical center. My father shot him with his gun.
And, Kenia bounces right to, “And your father?” She tells Kenia that he is being detained. Oops. I think I said he was in jail earlier. I guess he is just being detained for right now.
OK. Whichever of you wise commenters/recappers predicted that Kenia has a real thing for Augusto, I think you are correct. Well you had better pour her a stiff tequila now, over at the ‘Gusto Redemption Table, because she may not have much time left here on this earthly plane. This girl knows how to make enemies! I would not want to have Carmina and Ingrid after me!
A Couple Of Scenes
- Gabino menaces. Don Lucio threatens. One another. Lucio knows that the pearl necklace gift from Stef to Gabino is bullshit. Gabino points out that what Augusto did was a crime.
- In Sabrina’s salon, Begonia is gossiping about Paloma and her upcoming divorce while getting her hair set in large rollers. Sabrina asks why her Mom has to make all of their business so public and throws her mother out of the salon. Nice, Sabrina.
- Enrique comes into his father’s clinic looking for Edmundo but finds Paloma. She tells Ricky that Edmundo probably won’t be in all day because he is helping with Damian, whom Augusto shot with a gun. Paloma is worried about her friends but she has to stay and do phone duty (well, it is her JOB).
- Ricky very nicely offers to stay in her place. He explains that he is at the Hotel with his dad. “Don't take me wrong, Enrique, but your mother is a very strange person. Hey, does she still believe that your father is cheating on her with me? (sighs).
- And do you also believe it? No, no Paloma, I believe my father. Well, at least. Enrique, I'll get to see my friend Elisa, the poor thing must be a mess. Thanks a lot, I mean it. She kisses him on the cheek.
Don Augusto Catfood Has a Very Pretty Visitor
Kenia wants to show her support and she has come to the place where Gusto is being detained. (Ed. -This girl is a cypher and no mistake!) He acts like a blushing schoolboy around her. He is ashamed to have her see him in jail, it was an accident, he didn’t mean to hurt anybody, only Don Lucio is helping him out, he doesn’t have a lawyer because he cannot afford one. For her part Kenia says she can't believe he was capable of shooting Damian just to stop him from marrying his daughter.
Kenia then surprises me by saying, “Mr. Augusto, I don't want you to feel alone, you have me. You helped me once when I needed it the most, and I want to help you back. I imagined you would like to get this back,” and she hands him the pearl necklace. OMG. Vivi, you were so right. Kenia is playing Ingrid, for sure.
Augusto wants to know, where she got it? Did she buy it from Gabino?
Kenia: “That doesn't matter, after what happened at the bank I saw how special this necklace is for you, I wanted to get it.”
Augusto: “I can't, I can't accept it, you must have spent a lot of money on it.” No money, chump, just a head injury and a little blackmail on her conscience.
Kenia: “Mr. Augusto, if you sell or pawn this necklace you can get the money to pay a good lawyer, to pay the bail and get out of here.”
Augusto: “I can't take it.”
Kenia: “This necklace belonged to your first wife, you loved her a lot, right?”
Augusto: “Estefania, I loved her more than my own life.”
Kenia: “Think that maybe wherever she is, she's looking after you and she sent me to help you to solve your problems. Take it please. If it's not for the appreciation you have for me, then do it for the love you once had for her, please.” He accepts the jewel and asks her to get him for news of Damian. He also asks her for a favor.
Kenia: “Mr. Augusto, even you don't believe it, I consider you a great friend, so please don't worry, okay? I'll be right back.”
Dr Tovar Delivers News I Need Dr. Carlos To Interpret
Back at the hospital Dr. Edmundo Tovar comes out to deliver news about Damian’s state of health to Alfonsina and Padre Lupe.
Here is my translation of the announcement:
- A pellet (shotgun?) went through Damian’s femur,
- His artery is being reconstructed. It is a delicate intervention but it is under control.
- This was complicated by Damian’s loss of blood. He lost a lot and he needs a transfusion. The problem is that he has a very rare type of blood.
- AB-. Sadly, they do not have that kind of blood here, so they have to look for it in hospitals in Merida, or to get a blood donor as soon as possible, otherwise Damian may die. Whew.
- I always like to get these conversations right just for later reference as to who is related to whom, etc.
Edmundo sets Alfie to looking among the relatives for folks with AB- blood who could be donors. She also sends Gabino to look at the local hospitals in Merida and the canvass the workers at the pro-ces-a-dor-a.
More Random Scenes
- Enrique and Florencia talk.
- Begonia comes by the office and finds Enrique answering phones for Paloma.
Everybody’s Worried About Damian
Elisa is going out of her mind with no news about her father or Damian . Paloma comes to the house with the news that Damian needs an urgent transfusion, they are trying to get a donor but the problem is that he has a very unusual blood type. Lolita tries to sooth her. Pretty much the only left for all the good people of Merida to do is…Pray.
Don Lucio is working on helping find a donor at the procesadora—he doesn’t trust Gabino to do it and he is trying to find a lawyer for Augusto.
When he runs into Father Lupe he gets a blessing, “Go with God, Lucio. Oh my God, Holy Virgin, help my nephew, Damian.
ING and Gabino Have a Sweet Little Heart to Heart
ING carps, “I've been waiting you for hours, Gabino! What did you find out about Gael?”
Gabs: “Nothing, I didn't have time. I had a problem that kept me busy all day long.”
ING: “You promised me you would do everything possible to find out something, and you tell me that you're doing important things!”
Gabs: “Augusto Castañon had the great idea to shoot Damian Arango with a rifle to stop his daughter's wedding. Do you think that's not important?”
ING: “What are you saying?”
Gabs: “What you just heard, Missy. Sra. Alfonsina sent me to look for a donor for a blood transfusion because her son is in surgery and needs blood.
ING: “And you are so tranquil!”
Gabs: “Well, I'm very relaxed; I won't move a single finger to help Damian Arango.”
Gabs: “Because I don't care, I don't care at all what happens to that brat. Even more, if he disappeared from the map that would be good for both of us, with that Gael would be the only heir from Rosendo Arango.
No Luck Finding The Right Blood But Everybody’s Praying
Paolo Drives Carmina Home in the Company Truck
How subtle. Paolo drives Carmina home in the La Anita company truck with the big logo on the side. It is nighttime, they get out, and he starts complaining. He doesn’t like the hiding, and the irregular meetings. He doesn’t like that after she leaves him she goes to that stupid husband of hers. “Why?” asks a coy Carmina? “You are jealous.” “Yes, I am jealous. Yes, I'm jealous, and I'll tell you why; because I'm not willing to share you with anybody, I want you to be mine, Carmina. Mine, you get it? “When you met me you knew that I was married. Are you sick? I am not leaving my husband?”
La Anita Procesadora
Maru greets Don Lucio with the news that Gabino has not showed up the whole day, even though he was supposed to check the workers for possible blood matches for a transfusion for Damian.
Lucio: “What do you mean he hasn't come!”
Maru: “At least not to the offices. He left very early and he hasn't returned. I didn't even know Damian was bad and needed a blood transfusion.
Lucio: “So this bastard hasn't lifted a single finger?”
Maru: “No, no, Sra. Alfonsina has to know this.”
Lucio: “Of course she has to know, of course! Well, I'm sorry, that doesn't matter now, what matters is that we have to check each one of the workers' files, there must be included the blood type.”
Carmina Comes In From Her Lover’s Bed To a Less Than Warm Welcome
Carmina comes in in full bitch mode, but Delores looks at her with dignity and says:
“Whoa, you finally appeared ma'am, where were you?”
Carmina: “Don't be insolent, that's the last thing I need; to give you explanations. Why don't you tell me what you're doing sitting here in my house with this one?”(she point to Paloma).
But Lolita is giving as good as she gets, this time.
Lolita: “This one?”
Carmina: “Yes, this one.”
Lolita: “If you didn't spend all the time on the street, who knows where, you would know what's happening with your family in this moment.”
Carmina: “No, I know, I perfectly know; Elisa and Damian were going to get married today, right? But what happened? Did Alfonsina stop the wedding?
Lolita: “Just for you to know no, it wasn't her but Sr. Augusto who arrived with a rifle to shoot Damian, and in this moment he's at the medical center about to die! And your husband is arrested.”
Carmina looks like she got hit on the head with a brick.
So let’s just leave things like they are in La Ermita, for tonight. Cameron Hooper of CNN never checked in again from CNN, but I am sure we will see him again. Maybe he’ll interview Rabbi Jacob for his take on the haps in La Ermita, now that would be a hoot. Elisa, the Padre and everybody else are praying for a blood donor for Damian. May tomorrow bring some resolution to the many problems that plague our friends in Abismo de Pasion.