Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Sortilegio, Tuesday, January 5--Ep #60: It's a boy!

Out in the waiting area, the family are all thrilled about the baby. Except for Bruno, as Fernando mutters under his breath. Felipa steps in and says that Bruno carried MJ because she couldn't walk. Too bad she didn't see WHY that ended up happening in the first place.

Alejandro and MaryJo are still all smoochy face and Hernán has to bust it up so MJ can get some rest, Pippi braids and all.

Paula goes to brag about the baby to Roberto, how he's 3k (6-ish pounds), so he's gonna be huge and he's gonna be the prettiest baby and she's the prettiest auntie or at least the happiest one cause she's just so happy. She's bouncing around on his bed and he's kind of groaning. Paula thinks being a parent must be sooooo super cool. Roberto supposes so. Paula wants him to hurry up and get better already.

Pedro gets a happy reception from the crew at the mercado. Chucho is shaking a rattle, for some reason. Pedro's just happy he finally got a boy, sort of. Meche bitches about Bruno, but then Pedro has to stick up for him. Gabriel grumbles about it. Chucho wants to quit talking about Bruno already. And what are they naming boy wonder? Who knows. Pedro thinks he'll be a mini-Alex.

At Lombardo Co, Mari congratulates Alex, who probably shouldn't be at work since all he can think about is the baby. He suddenly remembers he forgot to buy anything, so he calls Vicky. She tells him that MJ already took care of buying all the baby stuff (did he miss the part where she's been spending a lot of time sitting on that bench folding baby clothes?). Now he's bugging Fernando about babies, but Fer doesn't think he's getting married, ever. Um, yeah, and he's dating your mom, so QTH is that question about? Fer leaves and Alex calls Mari and tells her to get some big shot jeweler in to see him today. Well, diamonds are a girl's best friend, but then again Maura and Bruno dropped down a well are forever. Just saying, Alex, consider the possibilities.

Ulises is looking for Sandra, still. He's asking a woman about her and describes her as a bleached-blonde tramp. Nah, he says "estilo punk" (as in, she dresses punk, which I disagree with, "estilo trampy" would have been more accurate). The woman says she had a bad turn and they had to drag her into a hospital right over there.

Maura gets off the phone with Mari and is all upset that the baby has been born. "And to think! He could have been mine." She's still in love with Alex, blah, blah, blah. Lisette says there's nothing to be done, she did what she could and now she just needs to build a bridge and get over it.

Ulises asks at the hospital, and lady at the desk says they do happen to have a bleached blonde, punky, trampy druggie, but they didn't know her name. Now a doctor comes over and tells him she's had an overdose and is unconscious.

Ulises passes on the news to Elena. Elena tells her husband. He asks to speak to the doctor, so phones are passed over. The stepdad tells the doc that he's sending over an ambulance. The doctor doesn't really like it, but he'll do it. Elena's going to go sign off on it, as a family member, and stepdad tells Ulises not to leave Sandra's side for a moment. As stepdad puts it to Elena when she asks "what happened?", "she could have a heart attack or slip into a coma and it's all your fault." Nice guy. I can see why she married him. Elena blames him for not taking time off for them to go to Madrid and collect her. He tells her that if Sandra dies, they can forget the clinic and the money. He screams at her to get the ambulance, a doctor, and a nurse, and go collect their little overdosed meal ticket.

In the hospital, Paula fusses with MJ's covers and a nurse brings the baby in, but just for 20 minutes. Longer than that and they get overdone and kind of chewy. MJ coos at the baby about his little tiny hands and she'll always be his mommy and his eyes are so pretty. Alex comes in with a tiny little bouquet of flowers. Now he coos that the baby's so handsome. MJ's not going to feed the kid until later, cause that's what they told her to do. Alex thanks her and she thanks him and then Alex takes the handoff. The baby fusses. MJ finds her present in the bouquet. It looks like a big fat crystal on a chain, but I can't really see it. MJ says they've really got to start calling the baby by his name--Antonio, like they'd talked about before. The baby seems to approve. I mean, sorry, Antonio 2.0 seems to approve.

Elena signs the paperwork at the DF hospital, and the credit card receipt. The doc gripes some more about the danger in moving Sandra. She's wheeled out and Ulises tries to talk to her, but she's out cold.

Pedro and Chucho drink to Pedro's first grandchild. Chucho says a grandchild is always a blessing. The cops come in looking for Pedro, but Chucho says "I'm Pedro." The cop says he's accused of storing and distributing pirated goods. Pedro steps up and says he's really Pedro. No, I'm Pedro!

They get Sandra back to stepdaddy's clinic and the doctor who rode with them says they gave Sandra some benzos and she's out again. Stepdaddy huffs.

Pedro gets cuffed and perp walked out to the cop car. Pedro begs Chucho not to tell anyone, but Chucho's like "no way, dude!" Chucho gripes at the cops.

Gabriel is amazed to her that Pedro was into that stuff. Meche and Chucho gripe at Gabriel for thinking bad things about Pedro. Gabriel doesn't know how they're supposed to help him and keep it a secret at the same time. Meche says if his daughter finds out, her milk will dry up, so that's why she can't know. Chucho begs San Quilmas Petateo for illumination.

Stepdaddy kicks everyone out of Sandra's room at the clinic. He whispers in Sandra's ear "stupid girl, you're going to cause my downfall."

Ulises, Elena, and stepdaddy go over how Ulises screwed up this whole thing. Stepdaddy accuses Ulises of being the one responsible for not stopping Sandra from getting into drugs in the first place. Then he gripes at Elena for not being specific enough with him about what was going on with Sandra. He calls her stupid and a bird brain. He says that Sandra is in a coma and they can't let grandpa know or they'll lose everything. He'll do what he can, but if she's not out of the coma in 2 months, she'll go into brain death. He's not God, after all. He kicks them out of his office.

Ulises tells Elena that he does feel responsible. She dittoes. They go over the details of Elena's second, er, marriage. It was fake, but grandpa doesn't know that and Ulises better not be thinking of blackmailing her with it. But he has other plans. He wonders how much longer the old guy will live. Elena estimates a couple of months. Ulises proposes they use MaryJo. Elena laughs, she doesn't think MJ would agree to pass for Sandra. Ulises thinks it's worth it to look into, but Elena is concerned that this would mean telling her husband the truth. Ulises leaves and says it's her decision.

Chucho comes to visit Pedro in jail. Pedro looks like he's doing ok. He says he's going to be sent to Saqui. He wants confirmation that MJ doesn't know. Pedro says he did make a mistake that he ought to pay for, but that doesn't mean MJ should pay. They guys are convinced that Bruno had something to do with this. Pedro repeats Bruno's threat that if MJ didn't vote Bruno for Prez, Bruno would get Pedro thrown in jail. That's Bruno for you, keeping his campaign promises. Pedro tells Chucho to lie if the girls ask and tell them that Pedro is out on a trip to buy merchandise for the store. Chucho thinks he can't keep that up for long, so Pedro tells him to wait a while and then tell everyone he's dead. Ay, that Pedro, again with the faking deaths. Chucho cries.

MJ, Alex, and little Tony come home. Everyone's out to welcome the baby and they all clap. Alex carries mama and baby up the stairs, keeping up a steady stream of baby talk to Tony2 the whole time. In the bedroom, there are a ton of balloons. Felipa lectures Cuco about staying out of the baby's bedroom. Cuco growls and Felipa says she'll have to get him a girlfriend. The baby gets cooed over. MJ thanks them for the decorations. Then she thanks Alex for being such a studly princely man. MJ asks about Pedro, but Paula assumes he's at work. They all argue over who's going to keep the balloons. They look at presents. Alex bought MJ a fancy watch so she doesn't feed the baby late. Alex, don't make me smack you. Mr. 5ft believes the baby needs to be LoJacked. He's convinced Bruno will try to kidnap the baby at some point. However, I believe Bruno wouldn't want to touch his little nephew with a ten foot pole, so he'd have to have someone else do the actual taking care of the kid. Mr. 5ft believes it wouldn't take a lot of convincing and Bruno could get Katia to do it, somehow. And if not her, then maybe not-dead-grandma Elena could do it. I think Mr. 5ft is too paranoid, but then again, kidnapping is a TN staple, so we'll see.

At the mercado, Meche and Chucho argue about Chucho lying to everyone. Gabriel thinks they should get some money together and get Pedro a good lawyer. Chucho says they really don't have any money. He hassles a customer "are you gonna buy that or not?" Then he decides he needs a beer to deal with the stress. Meche and Gabriel both agree that they're so wishy-washy that they certainly can't let Pedro down, but they also can't go against Chucho cause he's been so nice to them. Meche wrinkles her forehead while Gabriel breathes through his mouth. Spineless twerps.

Alex likes hanging out with MJ and the baby during feeding time. PSA about breast feeding. It's good for the baby's immune system. And if you breast feed your baby William Levy will come over and tell you how beautiful you are and spout poetry at you. Or maybe I misunderstood that part.

Vicky talks to Fer about how happy she is to have a baby in the house again. But it makes her think that Fer has a right to a "family"--wife, kids. Fer says he'd rather have her. She's the love of his life and he's not giving her up for anything. Alex busts them smooching and coughs really loudly. He tells them that he and MJ want them to be the godparents. They're both thrilled. They'll have the baptism in a couple of months.

Sandra is still out, no reaction. Elena and Ulises are worried. Ulises tries to talk to her. Elena calls her stupid, but sadly.

Paula coos over Tiny Tony and his little hands and little mouth. She just wants to eat him all up. MJ is wondering where Pedro is. Paula says she'll go check on him when she gets out of school. And BTW, she adds, you made a fabulously good looking baby--of course, it doesn't hurt that you've got a hunky husband…so why can't God send me one too, handsome and rich? Har, har. Paula sees Cuco hiding under the armoire right out side the door, whining because he's been exiled.

Ulises thinks that MJ is such a kind, decent person that if Elena just explains the situation, she'd be glad to help out. Elena thinks stepdaddy will get Sandra out of this coma. Ulises is going back to Merida for now. Elena tells him not to talk to MJ about anything. He says he won't.

Chucho tries to bring Pedro some tamales, but they don't want to let him in because visiting hours were in the morning. He gives the tamales to the guard and tells him to give them to Pedro and don't eat any…ok, well maybe one or two, but that's it. The guard takes a good look at the tamales.

Arturo walks Paula to school and says he'll see her back at the car after classes, since it's too difficult to park right out front. Gabriel comes up and Paula asks what's up with her dad. Gabriel tells her that he's in jail for something that happened in Saqui and doesn't want Alex or MaryJo to know about it.

Fernando tells Alex that Katia has now decided that she's depressed and wants to come back home, but she's not going to hook up with Bruno. Paula calls Alex and interrupts the conversation. She tells him Pedro has been detained, but she's not sure why. She tells him that Bruno had threatened MJ with this, but MJ didn't tell him because she thought Bruno was lying. Alex does what he always does and says he'll take care of it. He gets off the phone, then calls Mari and tells her to get Lic. Quinones and tell him they've got to go down to the police station. Alex is pissed that this is happening now and that Bruno made good on his threat. Fer tells him not to tell MJ and to make something up about why Pedro hasn't been to see his grandchild.

Back at the house, Paula gets out of the car, jumps over a puddle, and tries to beat the smack out of Bruno. She yells at him about her dad being in jail and smacks him. He throws her down and insists he doesn't know what she's talking about. Paula cries and Arturo tries to comfort her. Felipa saw and heard the whole thing.

Bruno goes running to mommy to tell her that mean girl Paula is accusing him of having her father thrown into jail. Vicky sighs.

Arturo tells Felipa about Gabriel showing up as Paula was on her way in to school and telling her what was going on. Felipa doubts it, but Arturo reminds her that Bruno's an ass. He tells her that Alex already knows and is surely going to take care of it.

Lic. Q tells Alex that Rufino named Pedro as an accomplice and he's going to be transported to Saqui. If he's convicted he could get anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. Of course, Q says if there aren't any witnesses or evidence, they could get Pedro out of this jam. They bend down and go through some weird little archway.

Pedro thanks Lic. Q and Alex, but he's not going to deny his actions. Q says Rufino's a slime and if Pedro just says he didn't do it, they'll believe him. Pedro has no intention of doing that.

Bruno cries to Mommy some more about that tacky family, how can she stand them, with the drunken criminal dad, and the daughter who resorted to trickery to snag Alex, and the other one ran some guy over. "Okay, fine," says Vic, "let's say that's all true. What about you? You exposed me to public ridicule!" Bruno says he had a right to, to get what was owed him. Vicky says there are a lot of dark dealings in his behavior and she's not going to start naming them all now. However, she does want to ask him, again, what he was doing in DR? He insists he went to find the judge so the judge could clear him of having been the one who got married to MJ. "Convenient, then, that the poor man disappeared." Bruno now says maybe Alex killed him. But why? Vicky actually dares ask him if he wasn't the one who killed the judge. Bruno just sticks out his jaw and doesn't answer.

MJ reports to Alex that the baby has been fed, changed, and is ready for bed. Alex slips his rosary in under the blankets. MJ says they've got to go to bed too, cause the kid's gonna want to eat in another 3 hours. I miss some banter as we cross into the next hour. They're still going with the "I love you, I love you more, you're so wonderful," etc. MJ says she really digs his bod and his smile, but she likes his soul best. Screw that, you can't put his soul on a calendar.

Tomorrow: Alex says the only way to deal with Bruno is to kill him; Ulises proposes that MJ get the inheritance in place of Sandra; Hernán tells Roberto it's time for him to talk to the cops; Pedro declares himself guilty when he gets to Saqui; Vicky tells Bruno that he's the son of the devil and Bruno brings up MJ's twin; Ulises proposes to Maura that they blackmail someone.

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Gancho Tuesday Jan. 5, 2010 Mothers Against Drunk Smooching

Well, we had our hopes up for some real fireworks tonight: maybe crazy disguise switching back and forth with Mauricio and Furia, or perhaps some tender cuddling with our favorite couple Ximena and Rolu. But it was not to be. Instead we had verbal and physical spankings by our two outraged mothers, Jacqui and Nieves. It was looking like a Punch and Judy show there for a while, with mucho whacks and mucho scolding and both recipients, Connie and Beto, sulking defensively through it all. But there were brighter moments as well. Let's take a look at some of the other scenes.

Beto has buttonholed the Bug to demand why he's not helping him reconquer Monita. In fact, the Bug seems to have moved in on her himself. Treason! Furia huffily reminds Beto that he's involved with another woman...Constanza to be exact. So fuggedaboutit!

Exit Furia, with Aldo trailing behind, while Estrella distracts Monita. Phase II of Mauricio's appearance is in the works.

Actually it's Jacqui who does the distracting. She sallies forth, sits herself down at Monita and Estrella's table, introduces herself as the mother of that heartless Constanza (she takes after her father!) and unloads a few tales of Connie's girlhood-- for instance, how her little princess got kicked out of nursery school for playing a scene from the Exorcist and vomiting all over the place. Charming. Then she goes on to compliment Monita on her gown and look down her nose at Estrella's outfit, remarking that it makes our star look like an easy woman. Actually both Estrella and Nieves looks like saloon dance hall girls from those old westerns I used to watch on black and white TV. Don't get me started on Matt Dillon now! Anyway, Jackie promises more spiffy stories if Monita ever wants to get together for coffee. And then off she sails.

And in glides Mauricio, looking mighty fine in a tux. Connie glares at him. So does Monita. Oh dear, what does this portend? We have to wait until after the ads to find out.

We're back. Beto, having failed to dissuade the Bug from romancing Monita, decides to try and enlist Mauricio to his side. No go. Mauricio is furious that Beto's been bedding his wife and moreover has impregnated her; and now is trying to pass off the baby as Mauricio's! Yep, those are pretty good reasons to be honked off. However, our galan is ready to make peace if Beto will just see reason. Stop trying to hook Monita. A real man only needs one woman (this is an idea that has not yet caught on--in Mexico--or anywhere!) and since Beto is truly in love with
Constanza, Mauricio will help him to be with her and the baby. But in turn, Beto must help him re-win Monita's heart. Beto does not seem to be convinced.

Alright. Break for a mini-catfight. Nieves and Alicia are clawing at each other. Sample:

Alicia: Oh Monita, I wouldn't have missed your fight for anything. I'm so happy I'm about to bust!
Nieves: You're about to bust because you've gained weight!

That's enough, right? You get the picture.

Our barrio trio, Moni, Paula and Estrella, pretty much ignore this ill-will and fantasize about Monita's mother looking down at her from heaven, helping her in the fight tonight, functioning like her guardian angel. (Wonder if Mom will ever reappear again. That should make for quite an episode.) The scene concludes with Alicia gushing about Furia and how she'd like to meet him up close and personal. More ads.

Ugh. A nasty Constanza/Mauricio scene. Never like those. She's needling him about Monita showing up with a luchador. Obviously his little chimpanzee has moved on. But strange, he doesn't seem that upset. What's up with that? Well, no matter. She'll allow Mauricio and Monita to be in the same room tonight, but not too close, alright? And actually, she wants Mauricio to sit at HER table. Yes, that would be just perfect....her lover on one side, her husband on the other.

Mau's doing his little lip-chewing passive-aggressive thing, and finally spits out that such humiliation is" not in the contract". Oh dear, I should have added that, smiles Connie and heads off to start a major makeout session with Beto. Little kisses, then tongue flips, then more strenuous kisses, then total sucking face. Blech.

Our Gancholand onlookers are disgusted. Katja looks like she's about to hurl. Gabriela is even more distressed....and vocal. Throw water on 'em, she yells. Even Christian, in his typical legalese, opines that" marriage should be respected" (what do YOU know about it, sniffs Paula).

While this lamentable scene is taking place, Nieves and Cesar are cuddling at the bar and swilling champagne "cruzadita" (we used to do this with new wine when we were partying in the wine gartens of Vienna. Great custom!) Anyway, Alicia roars up, only too happy to inform Nieves of her son's shameless behavior.

And the fight is on. Jackie is haranguing Connie while Nieves upbraids Beto. They're momentarily distracted and start dissing each other after Jacqui uses the term "gentuza de vecindad". Nieves lets her know that Connie would do well to behave as properly as said "gentuza"....her daughter is no lady. Now Jacqui's back to berating Connie for bringing her down to Nieves' level. More uproar. Nieves finally grabs Beto by the ear and hauls him off.

Mientras tanto, our outraged audience is letting Mauricio know they support him. Even reformed Rolu offers his encouragement. Whoops...Oscar oozes up and wants to be part of the club, promising that this shameless display will help him win a divorce for Mauricio. How very kind of you, seethes Salvador, but butt out!

And then....oh darn! Ximena was about to kiss Rolu when Mau calls her away saying he needs to talk to her. You're the one who should butt out, Mauricio! We'd like to see some real romance here. But it was not to be. And more ads for Pete's sakes.

When we come back, Dany, looking quite spiffy in her curls, is asking Monita why's she's with that luchador rather than papa Mauricio. We get the Child of Divorce Talk...you know the one...even though we're not together anymore, that doesn't change my love for you. I'll always care for you, Dany. Naturally, this is totally unconvincing.

And now a strange little scene twixt Lalu and Arnoldo. I find Arnie annoying but Lalu absolutely fascinates me and we have a number of shots of Lalu's Cheshire Cat grin as he observes Arnoldo frantically polishing knives and rims of water glasses. He attempts to move in on our hypochondriac, God knows why, but Arnoldo scurries away. Hey, Lalu, you can do better than that, buddy.

Alright. Mauricio has decided to take party hostess Ximena to task for 1) not telling him that Connie was sleeping with Beto and 2) pretending she was having an affair with Beto when that was not the case. Ximena explains that Connie's frequent death threats were to blame for her reticence but please please please forgive me, primuchis, and don't stop loving me because you are my favorite cousin....well, my only cousin...but puhleeeze! Okay. Fight over. Mauricio makes her promise never to hide anything from him again. And all is well. (Hah!) As Maggie says, if you believe that, you've flunked Telenovela 101.

And now for confrontation No. 3 (First Constanza, then Ximena, now Monita) Are you going to ignore me all night, Mau sniffs. I came here because I can't stand to be apart from you. I've come to beg your forgiveness. I've never stopped loving you. I love you more than life.

All this falls with a great big thud as Monita tells him not to "gastar saliva" (waste your breath). But on he goes. It was all a trap. Constanza knew she was pregnant by Beto and set me up to spend just one night with her in return for a divorce. I know it sounds ridiculous but I fell into her wily clutches.

None of this cuts any ice with Monita. She is so wounded by his betrayal of his promise that she could never love him again. She thought his kisses, his caresses, his skin were hers and hers alone. What about those promises of love eternal, fidelity, huh? Well, move on buster. Spend another night with Connie in bed. Beto's already warmed her up for you. But Monita's not going to wait for you. She's moved on. Mauricio is history. The Bug is her future.

Hmm...and now another acrimonious scene. Jacqui's continuing her maternal tirade. I can't believe how you're acting, Connie. Mauricio's going to divorce you and leave you without a penny. Not so, smirks Constanza. I have the money part all locked up. And besides, if you don't like how I'm handling my life, JUST LEAVE! What's more, how dare you judge me! You're here, swanning around with two men yourself. Yes, snaps Jacqui, but I'm a single woman. And besides, the only reason I'm going around with those two idiots is because I'm looking out for you, daughter. I know you've agreed to split your take from the marriage with those two goons.

Do we believe mama Jacqui? Well, let's think about it while we wade through another round of ads.

When we come back, we have mama Nieves on the job. Her tirade is laced with a number of feathery swats, pummels and punches. But there was plenty of verbiage too. We begin with a round of "vaqueton, patán, mantenido, cinico!" and we go on from there. At one point, she wishes she could take him back into her womb and rebirth him so he could be a real man. Jeez, what an image! Finally she decides it's time for the "mano dura" and perhaps the only way to get him to grow up is to kick him out of the house. No more milanesas for you, you sleazy ingrate! Harsh.

And it's all downhill from there. Connie tearfully lays the blame for her crappy attitude at Mother's feet. Jacqui was always off chasing millionaires on their yachts, leaving behind two bewildered little girls while she prospected for new bankrolls. And Nieves, she's appalled at the thought of her grandchild being born to a disreputable "flauta" and a father whose only manliness is his stench. As for Monita, she's cutting Mauricio loose for good...."Hasta nunca" she sneers to a tearful Mauricio.

I hate to end on this downbeat note so let's talk dress and makeup. Katja and Luisa both looked stunning. Totally wow as someone would say. Ximena was entrancing in a soft gray dress that made her look like she was encased in a wispy cloud. Teresa's hair is looking better and better and so is Dany's. In all honesty, I didn't care for Monita's outfit. But hey, small detail. Anyway, she filled it out beautifully and her hair and makeup were perfect. Estrella...gotta agree with Jacqui on that one. Ditto for Nieves. Both a little too Marie Antoinette for my taste. As for the guys. Hey, you're all hunkalicious in those tuxes. For you, it's easy. Now please, let's get back to some tender romance with Ximena and Rolu!

Previews:
But alas, the previews seem to indicate more stormy weather. Our nasty Connie has the mike and is announcing to one and all that Furia and Mauricio Sermeño are one and the same.

Vocabulary:
Yep, there are some repeats here. But remember my motto: Review and Learn New.

visera = eyeshade, vizor (this came at the end of the episode, don't remember in what context though.
un as bajo la manga = an ace up her sleeve (Connie, of course)
mano dura = lit. hard hand...in other words, firm discipline
baños de pureza = purifying baths (something Connie doesn't need from Mom)
abrir grietas = open up crevices, refers to creating distance and hostility in a relationship
sentar cabeza -= settle down
entrar en ambiente = get in the swing of things (Lalu to Arnoldo)
un acto fallido = a failed act (Ximena berating herself for letting Mauricio down)
no conoce el recato = has no sense of decency (Gabriela denouncing Connie and Beto's behavior)
tan campante = cool as a cucumber (see above)
el susodicho = the aforesaid (Christian in his legalese analysis of the situation)
guarderia = nursery (for children)
dorar la pildora = lit. to gild the pill...in other words, to sweeten the pill
gentuza de vecindad = neighborhood folks but "gentuza" is derisive or derogatory for "gente"
gastar saliva = lit. spend saliva, in other words, waste one's breath

Dicho of the Day

Connie said it, in dissing Monita. "Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona se queda."
lit. a monkey dressed in silk is still a monkey.
We would say:
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear

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William Levy will be starting a Hollywood movie soon!

One of the commenters on my William Levy page (see sidebar) alerted me to the delightful fact that William is beginning a movie to be shot in Los Angeles and Miami. It's called "Life in the Fast Lane," and evidently he'll be the star, Jake! Any comments or speculation on his new career (he may be lost to us here at the novelas, sob) should be added to that page, not here! I'll try to keep it updated.

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Amor Monday, January 4, 2010: Could somebody run out for a 6-pack of blood?

Friday: Gabriel tells Don Eugenio that he’s going to go wait at the school to tell Paloma what happened to Padre Juan. Padre Juan meanwhile is out cold at the hospital and Dr B is there calling for blood as Chris has lost so much. He hopes there is some on hand, or they will need a donor. Emiliano gets to the school first and tells Paloma and Lili. Gabriel comes up with his dad and they all discuss the news. The fellows ask Paloma which one she wants to go to the hospital with. Don Eugenio looks hard at his son and realizes he’s fallen for Paloma.

And now, a fresh new week of Real del Monte adventures in a fresh new year:

Paloma wonders how they all found out. Em heard from German, and Gabriel and his dad heard from Carlota. Paloma wonders what they were doing talking to her and Gabriel said his dad wanted to put in a good word for him so she’d calm down.

Em points out that they’re wasting time. Indeed. Why is Paloma so interested in how they found out when Padre Juan’s life could be slipping away at any moment? Anyway, she thanks Gabriel and picks Em. Don Eugenio puts his arm around his son’s shoulder.

At home, Rufi is praying to the Virgin for Padre Juan. When she’s done, she puts her hands in her apron pockets and discovers the two matching Inaki engagement rings that she found. Where to hide them? She decides to hide them in the vegetable basket and starts moving the produce around.

Luz comes into Rafa’s office and smiles understandingly which she likes to do when other women have fled in tears because she is the radiant queen of Rafa now. She says let’s be honest – it hurt, didn’t it? (Meaning his argument with Camila.) He says the last thing he expected was for Camila to show up at the office.

Luz, still smiling, says It’s obvious that there is, or has been, something big between you two. Rafa says Camila’s about to marry someone else. Luz says that must be hard when your heart belongs to someone else. Rafa says nah, she doesn’t love me anymore. Luz says oh, come on. I could tell that there’s nothing left between you and Diana, but it’s obvious that you feel more for Camila than you care to recognize.

Rafa says I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Luz says don’t worry. I’ve only known you a few days – it’s illogical to think that you didn’t have anyone before me, or that I didn’t have anyone before you. Don’t you want to run after her, to tell her that there’s still a chance? Rafa looks thoughtful.

Now we see Camila walking a leafy street and flashing back on seeing Luz come into Rafa’s office. Who do you love, Rafael? she wonders aloud.

German is at the nurse’s desk when Carlota comes flying in, distressed and wanting to know how Chris is. German says not good – he was stabbed. It happens a lot in prisons.
Carlota says she wants to go see him. German says visits are restricted. I don’t care! I don’t care! says Carlota, frantic. Bribe somebody! Get me in!

Back to Rafa and Luz. He says to her that most women would be upset and would pack up and leave. Luz says the thing is if somebody is with me, it’s because they want to be, and if you want to go with her, yes, my pride will be a little bruised and it’ll hurt a little, but better now than later.

Rafa says I am where I want to be. Really? says Luz. Really, says Rafa.

Tearful Camila, standing in a window of her shop, is debriefing herself with sympathetic Monica. She tells Monica You have no idea how it hurt to see him happy with someone else. He didn’t love me like he said he did. Monica says you know men, they can’t stand to be alone, so they grab onto someone else. Camila says Rafa’s not like that.

It wouldn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, Monica assures her. Camila says he’s already with someone, and maybe even sleeping with her! Monica says well, I’m not a guy so I don’t really understand how they do that, but there’s no doubt that Rafa really loved you.

Camila says it’s a good thing I chose Orlando. He’d never pull anything like that. Never.

German comes back into the hospital waiting room and tells Carlota that it’s going to cost a load. Whatever! Whatever! she says, urgently. German says I didn’t know Padre Juan was so important to you. Carlota says I don’t pay you to think, just to act. German says okay, there’s a nurse waiting for you at the end of the hall.

Are you sure nobody else knows about Chris? Carlota asks. German says not now, but somebody like Orlando could find out. Carlota says make sure nobody visits him but me. She runs off down the hall and we see Orlando show up in the waiting room. He asks German how Chris is.

Inez has received her not-secret-anymore admirer, Juancho, in her living room. Hat in hand, he says that he doesn’t want to be precipitous, but he doesn’t want to wait any more years to declare his intentions. He drops to one knee, proposes, and pulls out a little red box which he opens to reveal a ring. Inez stares, takes her glasses off and looks heavenward. Dios mio! she says gratefully. She faints dead away onto the couch.

Back at the hospital, the nurse tells Carlota she’s going to have to disguise herself in a nurse’s outfit the nurse will provide. The nurse says don’t forget you’re putting my job at risk. Carlota says don’t forget I’m paying you very well.

Em and Paloma are strolling towards the hospital. Paloma says it’s not fair what happened to Padre Juan! Em wants to know why Gabriel and his dad would want to talk to Carlota and Paloma explains. They stop and he smiles. She wants to know why. He says he is on the same page as Carlota for a change – he doesn’t want anybody coming around Paloma.

Don’t be so self-centered says Paloma. Em says I mean it. He strokes her face and says One day we’re going to be together. Paloma pulls away and takes off.

The Eiffel Tower! The Paris airport! Airplanes taking off. And in the waiting room, the white-haired lady in her wheelchair looking sad and grim. In her mind, an old conversation between a man and woman (her?) replays.

Man: You have your future. Just brilliant. This will ruin all your plans.
Woman (weeping): I know, but I just can’t give him up.
Man: It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll get over it.
Woman: Do you think he’ll hacer cargo (I couldn’t find a meaning for this – maybe “take responsibility”?)
Man: You have to do it. You have to think of yourself.
Woman: I’m so confused.
Man: You made a big mistake and if you don’t do what I say, you’ll be making a bigger one. I won’t give you anything more, understand?
Woman: All right, I’ll do it - my way.

Carlota, in her nurse’s cap and mask, and plenty of eye makeup, comes into Chris’s room. She closes the blinds to his room and slowly pulls her mask away. She approaches his sleeping form. She speaks softly to him: You have to get better! Now you’re not a priest, and there’s no Macarena, the way is wide open for us. Nobody will ever come between us. You have to live - we have a future waiting for us, just you and me. She gets weepy. I’ve always been ready to do anything for you. Even if it costs me my fortune, I’ll save your life. She strokes his face, weeps, and begs him to live.

Sometimes it’s really handy to be unconscious.

Back in the Paris airport, a Spanish-speaking couple are looking at a newspaper, and the wife reads to her husband the scandalous story of the fallen priest, Padre Juan Cristobal. Our white-haired lady overhears and says excuse me, but I couldn’t help overhearing. Where is Real del Monte? They tell her it’s about a half an hour from Pachuca.

She calls her helper over and says something to him, but the captions have disappeared and the violins are scraping madly, and I can’t make out what she said. Anyway, he nods and says Very good, madam, or words to that effect.

The hospital again. A doctor comes into Chris’s room and Carlota quickly puts her mask back on and turns away and fiddles with something on the tray. The doctor, who, like all telenovela hospital doctors, doesn’t seem to know the nurses personally, asks if blood has been located for the transfusion. Carlota is startled and says she doesn’t know. She asks if he gets a transfusion, will he have a better chance of survival?

The doctor, maybe distracted by pondering how his stocks are going go up in 2010, doesn’t think about how any real nurse wouldn’t ask a stupid question like that. He patiently explains that Chris was bleeding a lot and needs blood. What kind? asks Carlota. It’s in the chart, the doctor says, handing it to her and leaving. Carlota flips through the chart, apparently finds the blood type, and looks up, having realized something.

If you don’t know what’s going to happen next with this, you’ve failed Telenovelas 101. Sorry.

The two padres arrive so now we have in the waiting room Paloma, Rufi, Padre B and Padre M, Emiliano, Orlando and German. They take a blood donor poll. Em gave within the last 6 months, so he’s out. Paloma’s a minor, Orlando isn’t a match, etc. Padre M says he’ll ask the congregation – there are plenty who believe in Padre Juan and would like to help. Padre M says he’ll go, so Padre B can stay and lend comfort to Chris.

Rufi says let’s all go to the chapel. They all agree, except Major Sinner German who says he’ll wait here. Maybe he’s afraid he’ll get struck by lightening if he gets down on his knees all hypocritical. But any bolt flaming towards the Real del Monte hospital wouldn’t aim for pikers like him, it’d zap Carlota. That I’d like to see, her with her hair standing on end and her body like an x-ray.

Romina is at the marble front desk of the luxurious hotel where Samuel is staying. Apparently he isn’t in. Romina accuses the lady behind the desk of not giving him her messages because he hasn’t called. The lady protests that she did. Romina asks for pen and paper and leaves him a note: What’s up with you? What’s up with the furniture for my baby and the check I gave you?

She thoughtbubbles Don’t make me think badly of you like other people do.

Orlando goes to Camila’s shop and tells her he’s been trying to call all morning. She checks her cell and finds out the battery died. He tells her that Chris has been stabbed in prison and has been thrown out of the church. I just came from the hospital. But I have a question for you: Where were you before you came to the shop this morning?

Diana is at Inez’s and Inez is showing her her ring. Diana says he must be a thief, because he doesn’t have any money. Maybe it’s his mother’s or grandmother’s ring. Too bad you got a used ring! He does have money, Inez enthuses. He wants to buy me a house in Mexico City. Diana wants to know what they need two houses for. Inez says they’ll be traveling back and forth a lot. Too unsettled, says Diana disapprovingly. Inez says she’s thrilled. Give me a hug! Diana does, frowning.

Diana says you ought to be congratulating me: Samuel gave me a little kiss. They hug again. Inez says we were kissing for hours. Diana says how many hours? The whole afternoon! says Inez. Diana grimaces with envy.

Camila tells Orlando that she stopped by the ceramics factory. She says she had business with Joel and saw Rafa just for a minute. Is Orlando going to start up with his jealousy thing again? No, he says, I just know that Rafa is seeing someone else and didn’t know if you knew. I do, says Camila. I have decided to make my life with you and Rafa has the right to make his life with whomever he wants.

In the little coffee shop, Gabriel, Don Eugenio and Luz are toasting her new romance. Don E. wonders why Gabriel can’t just let go like she does and fall in love. He says no, he’s too intense, too guarded. Luz says she was that way too, but she learned that nothing is forever. She just lives each day as if it were her last. Gabriel says I ought to learn to do that. Luz says See? There’s a reason why we are all here together.

Angelica alone at her desk at work thinks she ought to sue Dario for plagiarism. But who would believe her? A lightbulb goes on over her head. Miriam! The same thing happened to her and nobody believed her, least of all me, so in love with Dario. How can I locate her? Maybe the Writer’s Association. She grabs the phone.

Back at the café, Don E asks what it is Luz wanted to ask him. Turns out she’d like his help exporting Rafa’s ceramics to Europe. Gabriel says you have the connections! Don E says sure, why not? But I want something in return. I want you to teach Gabriel to live like you do, to enjoy life, and not just through his art.

At the publisher’s office, Dario is being interviewed while the publishing lady looks on. The interviewer says what really struck her about the book is that the female characters were so well rendered, it seemed like a book a woman had written. The publisher lady looks pained. The interviewer says Does this represent a change in your style?

The nurse holds up a bag of blood while it courses into Chris’s veins. His eyelids flutter. Dr B. says they were so lucky to find a donor. Chris wants to know what he’s doing there and Dr. B explains. He tells Chris who all is in the waiting room, worried about him. Dr B leaves and the nurse says you are really lucky that that woman was able to give blood for you. She saved your life.

We hear Carlota say Now you have my blood running throughout your body. Chris’s eyes and the camera turn to the bed next to him, and there is Carlota, her cat eyes smiling, her blood flowing directly his way apparently.

German takes this opportunity to hit on Paloma. In the waiting room, he asks her if she has a date for graduation. No, she says. He says I’ll take you – people will talk if you go without a date. Paloma says I don’t care. German says Romina is coming with Em – you’d feel a lot better with a date.

Why? says Paloma. To make Romina jealous? I know you two used to go out. No, says German, it’s just that you shouldn’t have to go alone. No thanks, says Paloma. I’ll be fine alone.

Chris is pulling at his transfusion tube. He begs the nurse to take it out, but she restrains him. Carlota comments that it’s the way God set things up. Chris says leave God out of this. Dr B comes in and restrains him too. Chris says Why did you have her give me blood? I don’t want anything from her. I’d rather die. Carlota says your place is here on earth. Chris says let me die.

To be with her? says Carlota.

Don Eugenio is about to head out for Mexico City and among much laughter and affection, he says goodbye to Luz and Gabriel. He hugs Gabriel and tells him to listen to Luz, and live a little.

Chris passes out again. Dr B asks the nurse to step out a moment. He then asks Carlota what she meant about Chris wanting to die “to be with her”? Who? Carlota says we all have our secrets and Padre Juan – make that ex-Padre Juan – is no exception. It’s not for me to tell his secrets. I know much more than he wants me to know.

Dr B says I’m going to have to ask you to not come to see him again when the transfusion is done. Carlota says but you’ll keep giving him my blood? Dr B says yes, without your blood, he would have died.

AHHHHH intone the bassos. They are supposed to be ominous but it always startles the bejeezus out of me when they suddenly come on.

In the waiting room, Padre B tells Em that he told Chris that Em is going to keep up with the social work and Chris is glad. Em says good, because he doesn’t want anybody’s life to fall down a rat hole from drinking.

Dr B comes in and announces Chris is out of danger because they found a donor. Paloma and Rufi are thrilled about the donor and Rufi says God bless the donor.

Carlota is holding her bent arm, and drinking orange juice, apparently done with the donation. She tells the nurse to leave her alone with Chris. The nurse says I can’t – doctor’s orders. Carlota says I paid you enough – obey MY orders. The nurse begs her to understand, but Carlota says I just want to say goodbye – it’ll take just a few seconds.

The nurse leaves, and Carlota comes and hovers over Chris. She tells him that his life now belongs to her and he will go along with her plans. She’ll show those photographs of him kissing her so people know there was something going on between them, plus she’ll make the photos be his alibi, and then they can go far, far away together. I want to be yours. She nuzzles him.

The nurse rushes in and tells her to get out quick – the doctor is coming.

Dr B is in the waiting room telling Rufi that Carlota was the donor and the transfusion saved his life. But Chris wanted her out of there and said he would rather die than take her blood. Dr B is puzzled by that, but Rufi doesn’t seem surprised.

Dr B says what’s between them? Or what was between them? Because there’s something more, isn’t there? Rufi says I promise one day, if we move with you to Mexico City and I feel more secure, I’ll tell you everything, about what a person will do En El Nombre del Amor.

Luz tries to convince Gabriel to live free – we never know when we might die. What about that nice Paloma?

At the hospital. German tells Em that he asked Paloma if he could escort her to her graduation, because, he assures Em, he wanted to help out by making sure she didn’t go with her art teacher. He tells Em she turned him down and is going to go alone. German’s going to go anyway – he doesn’t want to miss the party. Em says he wishes he didn’t have to go. German says Romina’d kill you. Em says it’s good Paloma’s going alone because he just couldn’t stand to see her dancing with another fellow. German says it’s going to happen one day, you know.

Dr B comes out and says visits are still restricted, but they can go in and see Chris. Paloma and Rufi hug, and Carlota peeks into the waiting room and then sneaks down the hall and out the door.

Paloma gets to visit first. She tells Chris that if he’d died she’d want to go live on a desert island where she would never love anyone again, so they wouldn’t die on her. Chris says you are the reason I want to live, I’m staying alive for you more than for myself. They hold hands. Paloma said when she heard he’d been stabbed, she thought her heart would just stop beating and never start up again. (She’s forgetting that actually she was standing around asking everyone how they’d found out, then discussing Carlota. After which she sauntered to the hospital. )

They talk of how much they love each other – Paloma is surprised she came to care for him so much, and Chris says he feels towards her as a father feels toward his child. He would give his life for her.

At the café, Gabriel tells Luz he just thinks of Paloma as a student. Luz says she has a special instinct and knows it’s much more. Luz says I want to tell you something, since I’ve known you and your father for so long. She strokes his face. I know your secret.

Everyone is visiting Chris now and thanking God for his recovery. Rufi says he needed to live to prove his innocence. Padre B says and that woman who gave blood for you is someone else who can help. Rufi looks like yuck. Dr B tells them too much visiting now. They all leave, but Chris asks Padre B to stay.

He asks him how he can get this hate out of his heart. He hates his blood donor. Padre B says don’t do that! Chris says it was Carlota. Padre B is impactado. I wanted to kill her, says Chris.

Avances: Carlota is in bed, looking at the photos of her kissing Chris. She rubs a photo against her shoulder lustfully. Em professes his love to Paloma and leans in to kiss her.

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Un Gancho al Corazón Mon. 1/4/10 Fight Night


It's a gala noche in Ganchoburg. Not only is Valentina la Monita Lopez fighting to regain her Bantamweight Título Nacional, it is the night of the Welcome Home Rolu's Brother party, expected to be la Fiesta del Año by many of the expert socialites here at Club Gancho. The TN gods have smiled on the kindly old Dr. Carlos tonight.

We begin with a replay of Estrella shooing Coni away from the MF. "Hey, look whose spreading her wings. Aliens aren't welcome in our world." Coni blows a kiss which is intercepted and tossed away by an alert Estre, as an alert Sylvia has previously described. He suggests that she return to her place as he doesn't want to raise Coni's suspicions. A bit late for that, Hombre Verde. Estrella walks back and whispers to Aldo who has joined with the contingent from the Sermeño household. He directs the extended family to their seats then approaches Big Bug (clad in full insectual regalia) at ringside as we wait with bated breaths for the arrival of tonight's featured combatants into the ring. How nice... now Masked Fury is graciously penning his autograph for his adoring fan. "Aldo," the young aficionado prompts. Coni is looking on stonily at this transaction, which doubtlessly is primarily staged for her benefit. She is even more suspicious as we can almost see those delicately crafted wheels turning in her nimble brain, much like those of a fine Swiss watch. Just a matter of time 'til she's certain, I'd say.

Ximena and Rolu are sitting on their bed and seem to be having a serious intimate conversation. Shhh, let's listen in. Jimena is telling Rolu that she hopes he won't reveal that he's leaving to their friend and of course Rolu, who now wants to stay with Ximy agrees. At this point, I suppose some of the less romantic among us might conclude that Rolu is a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome. You recall he was imprisoned in plaster for six months and remained wheelchair bound for quite some time after that, thanks to another unfortunate attempt to sprout wings and fly. Now for some days judging by his stubble, he has been tied spread eagled to the bed, so it's not a stretch to assume that he has become sympathetic and dependent on his captor. I say to this, "horsefeathers!" He has fallen captive to the magical warmth and love that is Ximena, the reining sweetheart of this show. Well our sweetheart is feeling miserable that she was unable to retrieve Rolu's errant herman'. He mentions that he remembers that there was someone was at the door earlier. Suddenly she recalls the neatly dressed beggar with a suit case sitting at their door when she arrived could that by chance be her cuñi?. Rolu indulgently smiles and asks why he would have a suitcase. She speculates that there was a crisis. "He probably lost his job. He has spent all his money. He's in the street with his bags and doesn't know what to do." Uh, yeah, that could be it, "but could it be that it's my brother waiting for you to let him in?" A bulb dimly glows then burns brightly in her complex brain." "Of course!" Rolu beams with pride as she scurries to the door."Rolu, what am I going to do without you?" "No Ximena, what am I going to do without you?" OK, let's all pause a moment and reach for the tissues.

At the arena, excitement is building for the big fight. We scan the crowd for familiar faces as we spot Aldo and Estrella, impatiently waiting for the action to begin, there's Alicia seated between Aldo and Nieves. Nieves has the little monkey perched on her shoulder for luck and the lion purse perched proudly on her lap. There's Teri munching a snack with little Dani, sporting her own little boxing mitts and already excited and impatient for the fight to start, nestled safely between her and Katia. Dani and Katia spar playfully. To Katia's right is Luisa with the same sack of snacks as Alicia. She offers some to a glowering, smoldering Ivan, Still smarting over the electric glances exchanged between Luisa and the dreamboat singer, Andres, from the club. He accusing her of flirting with him. They quarrel briefly. Ivan is seriously jealous. After all, they barely get to see each other and she sees Andres everyday in school. Ah, to be young and in love. I almost forgot how difficult it can be.

On her front steps, Ximy startles her jumpy bother-in-law. He slips down but recovers quickly, swabbing his hands with a tissue. "You must be Arnoldo Klunder!" she gushes as she grabs him up in a hug before awaiting his response. She apologizes for not recognizing him. He reminds her, "You don't know me." He seems bewildered and overwhelmed. She snatches up his bag, grabbing his hand to drag him inside. He reacts negatively, wrenching his hand free. "¡Sueltame! ¡No me toques!" He complains. She apologizes slapping her own offending hand in rebuke. She doesn't want to give the wrong impression. He urgently needs to wash his hands. She informs him of the boxing match they will attend followed by the mega-party planned in his honor. She is simply precious. She then gathers him up in a warm sisterly embrace as he weakly and helplessly resists. I can't wait for this guy to get a whiff of Beto.

We are next treated to an interesting view of Moni doing some last minute situps. Beto is sitting on the bench in front of the lockers offering last minute advice and support. "155," he counts, "you're going to burn yourself out." Let's take a quick look at Moni. As usual she is in short pink trunks a a pink croptop. Unlike in the disastrous fight in which she lost her title not to mention her consciousness for the better part of six months, tonight she has her hair done in neat no nonsense cornrows and pulled back in a single tight braid, much as it was done up the night that she captured the title. She speculates about what is beneath that mask. What is MF like down deep? Beto doesn't understand her fascination with the Masked Fury. He takes a quick sniff of his arrmpit as if to verify his masculinity which emanates from his own virile depths. She tells him that he stinks because la Momia is rotting from inside. She laments that she thought that she had found what she was searching for with Mao, but she was wrong. Now, she is feeling happiness. Beto scowls. Moni stands before the Virgen of Guadalupe silently uttering her prefight supplication. Beto stands behind her and when she is finished, helps her on with her pink hooded ring robe. She turns and asks him to allow her to be happy. He tells her to cover her chest. Sweet.

As fight time draws closer, more fans are arriving. Costeño is followed in by Rolu,walking fairly well, arm in arm with Ximena, with a fearful, reluctant Arnie lagging behind, looking like a kitten walking though a kennel full of Dobermans. As they take their seats, Xime sees and greets Costeño while Arnie begins disinfecting his seat.Ximena chides Arnie about his fastidiousness, nudging him with her elbow, "It's a joke!". Arnie gets up and whispers to Rolu that he doesn't want his crazy, psychedelic wife taking to him. Why you sick little twerp. Rolu tells Ximy that his brother has always been strange. Ximy proceeds to offer up three things. "Una, ...tonight will be superguau, let's act happy as though we will be be happy for our entire lives. Dos..." Hey it's Lalo! He's come to see Monita box. Ximy introduces Arnie. Lalu extends his hand causing Arnie to recoil, He tries to explain, "I just washed my hands and you just came in off the street." Suddenly Ximy spots Coni.

Cesar is escorting Moni, hood up, to the arena's entrance. He is giving last minute instructions. Beto trails behind. Cesar leaves her here for the moment, he forgot the towels. Beto wishes her luck and gives his benediction. He's not struck down by lightning so it's all good. She's pumped as Beto walks away. She does a little dance and punches the air. Well, well, well, now a large beneficial insect approaches, green and gold soft carapace fluttering behind. He cuts a fine figure as he confidenly strolls up. She goes all squishy. She dedicates to him, with all her heart, tonight's fight. Hey, you've got a fight in a few minutes! Try to focus! Oh very well, let's get this over with. They exchange pleasantries. They embrace. From a distance, Beto scowls...Next!

Coni is standing by the entrance, the MF flounces by, Cape billowing. She intends to confront him, "Hey Furia!" but instead comes face to face with Ximy who asks a commonly asked telenovela question. "¿Qué haces aquí, Consti?" She doesn't think it's such a good thing for Coni, who is no sports fan to be here. Her place is in bed. Ouch. Coni snaps at her, "Don't provoke me, Ximena!" Ximena reminds her that she is not invited to her party, either. "You didn't receive an invitation did you?" Coni tells her she goes where she dang well pleases and tells her that she was basically looking for her husband but the Luchador Degenerado has assumed his place. As she says this, she for an instant, locks eyes with Big Bug who is lurking. Aldo confers with him over the logistics of Mao being Mao as well as MF. Both are troubled, but Mao thinks that everything will be alright. I love how he carefully plans his every move. Aldo offers up any help that he and Estrella might be. Furia Enmascarada acknowledges his fans and takes his perch amidst the the other luchadors who are all decked out in their finest. Clearly, he is a member of this fraternity. They have seats just behind our other aforementioned friends. The crowd has taken up the chant, "Monita, Monita, Monita..." Coni, who is feeling less and less a part of this, covers her ears and frowns. She is for the moment, in Hell.

Here comes Moni, proudly accompanied by Cesar. She bounds into the ring, full of life and boundless energy in spite of 155 situps. The crowd is alive with enthusiasm, chanting...well you know. We get a brief glimpse of Moni's opponent. She has the serene look of a beautiful Aztec goddess. Beto takes his seat next to Coni, who has pretty much seen and heard enough. She scolds Beto for having been with that monkey. She announces that she leaving, but reminds him that she expects him to take her to the party and expects him to bathe. He stinks. He objects but she is not to be denied. She gives him a big ostentatious kiss, "I'll come by for you. Make yourself pretty," she instructs, and leaves. The lady sitting behind them certainly does justice to her grey tee shirt. As Coni defiantly exits, Gabi notices and grouses, Sal points out, "The fight's about to begin."

The ring announcer first introduces the challenger for the 10 round ladies' bantam weight national championship, "¡Weighing 53 kilos 600 grams, Valentina la Monita Lopezzzz!" Music, a scan of the excited crowd, Beto looking as though he's in a trance, chanting and pumping his arms. Monita acknowledges the crowd and shadow boxes in the center of the ring. Once again the announcer takes to the mike to introduce the champion, "¡Weighing 53 kilos 800 grams, Samantha la Leona Vetinaaaa!" Refereeing is, "José Guadalupe García González!" The referee calls the combatants to the cener of the ring for the last minute instructions, they bump gloves aggressively and our fight is underway. Shots of crowd, in particular The mantis and Beto. The fighters exchange blows in close quarters. Before you know it, end of round one. The ring girl looks very fit as she circles the ring with a plaque announcing round 2. The men in the crowd, notably Aldo (peeking through separated fingers), Ivan( with a disapproving look from Luisa), Cristian (Pao covering his eyes), Oscar (hopefully signaling, "Call me!"). Both boxers looking good. Oops, already round 4. An insectual loving glance is acknowledged with an upraised left glove. Hey sweetheart, focus. That's not what Cesar meant when he told you to keep your left up. More good boxing by both ladies. The crowd is appreciative. Round 7. Moni stalks Leona moving in for the kill. Suddenly a wicked right cross connects and decks the pretty Aztec princess. As the crowd roars she briefly struggles to get up but collapses unconscious. The referee relentlessly counts, "...ocho...nueve...fuera!" Our little barrio monkey wins! Cesar congratulates her as a huge green bug flies into the ring and flits around. They dance around the ring, rejoicing. The referee applies the championship belt. Once again the referee lifts the arm of an ecstatic Valentina. Confetti falls from the sky. The huge green creature hefts her astride his broad shoulders. Beto leaps into the ring. "Here I am Monita!" He shouts to Big Bug, "Hand her to me! Put her down, I want to carry her too!" I feel so sorry for you Beto. She's not your Monita anymore. The bug puts her down. She explains things to Beto, punctuating her remarks with a right cross to his chin. Harsh. Devastated he crawls from the ring as she resumes her perch atop the strong green shoulders.

Meintras tanto, Coni is searching Mao's room for bug droppings. She picks up the mattress, rummages through his stuff.

Back in her dressing room Moni and the Green Hornet are happily hugging and exchanging inanities. He's proud. She dedicates the victory to him. S he tells him that she is falling in love with him. Say what? Next!

Estrella and Aldo are happy for Moni, but now we have a party to go to. Aldo informs Estre that the mummy will be there. She is afraid that Moni will discover the truth and it will all fall apart for Mao. Right now she has a favor to ask of Ximy and then she's going to congratulate Moni. She abandons Aldo to the wrath of a covetous Luisa. "You always get to do what you want to do... Daddy treats you better... He won't let me be Ivan's novia..." and on and on. Aldo tells her to buck up, Ivan is working for the company now so things are bound to get better. She is not mollified.

Now leaving the arena is Jaqui escorted by Dumb and Dumber. Jaqui was enchanted by the fight. She felt like she was in the middle of a documentary of another social class. She is fascinated at the transformation that took place when Moni stepped into the ring, from a simple feminine girl to someone with such strength and power. The obsequious Jero points out that there's no comparison between Monita and Jaqui. Monita is a clinquera (help!). Jaqui is awed. Monita is not a clinquera, she is a campeona. She wants to meet Monita and talk with her. Oscar tells her that she is in luck. Moni will be at Ximy's party.

Back in the dressing room, Estre interrupts the billing and cooing. Furia excuses himself and promises to be on time to pick Moni up for the party. On his cycle? Estre rejoices with Moni, hugging the champion. Moni didn't see Mao at the fight. Does Estre think he came? Did she see him? "No, no, no, I didn't see him. He would have stayed hidden." But she thinks that he was as proud of Moni as anyone else. Moni says that she needs to get ready for the party. Estre realizes that they have different styles and tastes but..."¡Taran!" She throws open the door to Ximy and Lalo who conga in. "I won't tell you three things because I suspect the girl who lost is hating the count tres dos uno cero, Auch!" Ximy picks the championship belt tries it on then puts it around Moni's waist, announcing that she and Lalo are here ton transform her into a beautiful princess. Moni flexes her biceps.

In the bathroom the brothers are bonding. Arnie asks Rolu to help by turning on the water since surely the handles are filthy and will infect him. A little of this little creep goes a long way. As if to prove his point for him, a guy who is using the urinal finishes up, primps and then leaves. Arnie asks if it's too much trouble accurately aim at the urinal. He's fortunately ignored. "See, he made pipi and didn't wash his hands." He mewls, he whines, he gags. Rolu helps by pulling out paper towels for him but he wants some from deeper inside which are less contaminated. Disgustedly, Rolu almost empties the dispenser, handing him a long stream of towels. I can't help but wonder how well Arnie would bear up in Mike's ladies' toilet in San Angelo. Rolu tells him that Ximy is helping Moni get ready for the party. Arnie tells Rolu that he should dump Ximena as soon as possible. You little creep, I hope you wind up in that San Angelo restroom someday. Rolu tells him not to worry, this will be their last night together. Arnie replies, "Then why do you look like you are dying?"

Everyone's getting ready for the big party. First we see Coni who looks very pleased with herself. Now Estre and Lalo are showing Moni various outfits, none quite right until Ximy arrives with the perfect dress. Coni calmly and expertly applies her makeup. Lalo carefully applies Moni's makeup under the watchful eyes of her friends Ximy and Estre. Coni's ready and looks smashing in a black (natch) stropless cocktail dress, her hair pulled back in a very adult ponytail. Wow! Lalo is finished with Moni. Double wow! Her hair is unbraided and looks like something right out of a Pantene commercial. She is wearing a clingy strapless gold cocktail dress. On cue, Big Bug busts in wearing... well you know. Let's Parteee!

At the party everyone is looking elegant. Some more, some less. Ximena is gorgeous in blue chiffon with a diaphanous white wrap around her shoulders. She and Rolando seem lost in a magical world of their own. Awww. Lalo is sitting with an uncomfortable looking Arnie. He is sipping an icy, perfect looking martini. All eyes turn to Coni who enters with a dapper Roberto. Gee, he really cleans up nice. He swaggers with her on his arm. He encourages her, "Smell me, smell me, smell me." He soaped up at least ten times and shampooed. Used lots of deoderant. She tells him, You smell clean for the first time in your life, Bizcocho. Estrella is scandalized. Cesar stands and announces the arrival of "Our Campeona!" He urges that she be greeted with applause. Everyone stands and applauds as the Little Princess Monkey enters on the arm of a giant green insect. She pumps her fist. Only Coni and Beto remain seated. She quashes his attempt to clap. Jaqui speaks,"My poor daughter. Now I understand her hate for Monita." Oscar agrees but is critical of her masked and caped escort. Everyone murmurs their approval. Pau observes, "That girl can't hide her zip code," and talks of marriage which causes Cristian to choke. Dani, however wonders so everyone can hear, "Why didn't Monita come with my papá?" Good question Dani. Uh oh. Beto and Coni come face to face with Bug and Moni. Coni begins the insults. "Though the monkey dresses in silk, it's still a monkey." Moni replies, "Says the pot to the pan." Coni asks where is Mauricio, it's curious that he's not here if the kids are. Monita must be dying to see him. "Nope, I only have eyes for my novio, Furia Enmascarada." Coni's mouth gapes. Sensing very bad vibes for her party, Ximena asks Coni what she's doing here. "¿Am I not clear or are you very dark?" "If you don't want a scandal at your party don't provoke me," Coni warns. Coni takes Coni's arm and leads her away. Bug turns to Moni and asks for a moment alone with Beto.

And now children, I turn you over to that party animal, Dr Judy. I think that I'll go join Lalo, Arnie, and that gorgeous martini.

Carlos

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Monday, January 04, 2010

Cuco! Go get help! (Sortilegio 1/4/2010)

Roberto is in the hospital near death from the stabbing Raquel gave him when he admitted he was two-timing her with Useless. The Lombardos have decided to lie to the police en masse, saying an "unknown assailant" grabbed their kitchen knife and did the deed. Alex even had the alarm system cut up to "add verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative." [one of my favorite Gilbert & Sullivan quotes of all time. --Ed.]

Raquel is quite out of it. The police come and seem, well, unconvinced by the bald and unconvincing Lombardo narrative. Raquel says she didn't hear anything because she was listening to music - the police wonder why the kitchen knife disappeared - Alex says his sister is in shock and unless they're going to charge her, they should come back later.

Alex and MJ have a nice snuggle in bed. [It's my favorite thing about this novela, that they enjoy so much good time together. So far, the amount of torturing and misunderstanding and estrangement has been kept to a minimum, thank goodness.] Next day she reads in the papers that the Lombardos are a cursed family. "Let's get out of here, anywhere else..." they agree.

Everybody goes to see Roberto in his coma. Paula is particularly upset. Eventually he opens his eyes, survives, and says he won't accuse Raquel because he loves the whole family, even her, and he is what he is.

It takes a lot of snarling and a lot of money, but Bruno, on his way to the board meeting, finally gets Erick to get somebody to implicate Pedro in felonious deeds...

At the office, Bruno goes to see MJ and threatens her (again) with throwing her dad into jail if she doesn't vote for him.

Well, it's time to vote! Raquel votes for Bruno (to Vic's surprise). MJ votes for Alex (to Bruno's surprise). Alex wins 4-3. There is applause - Raquel applauds too, but her cranky brother Bruno grabs her hand and stops her, heh.

Afterwards, Maura comes into Alex's office and wants to go out celebrating their victory. She tepidly invites MJ as well, but MJ just wants to go home. "That doesn't have to keep US from celebrating, Bonbon!" she purrs to Alex - but he elects to go home with his wife.

On the way home MJ complains about the way Maura talks to him, but then she cheers up and proposes: "Let's take off our clothes and go to bed." He likes that.

Vic and Raquel go home. Raquel really, REALLY needs a drink - but all the booze is gone! Vic: "You have to stop drinking, especially now - you'll have to be sober to lie convincingly to the police and everybody in the family could get charged for bamboozling if you blow it, so no booze."

Raquel and Vic go to the police to give statements. The cops say they'll let things slide until Roberto wakes up and testifies.

Raquel (sans makeup) is escorted to rehab. We hear later, she's "rebellious" there... Vic wants to visit but it's against policy.

Maura goes home and fumes: "Alex wasn't effusively grateful for my help." She's desperate to get him back! Sis points out: Alex is going to be awfully happy at home with wifey when the kid is born.

Maura calls Useless, who says he's off hunting for Sandra, she who escaped his clutches. Maura wants him to come back and help her reconquer Bonbon. She offers lots of money - but how to achieve her goal? She doesn't know. Maybe again with the Mario Aguirre thing? She's grasping at straws. He's not interested. [Maybe with gypsy love potion a la Alborada?]

Useless goes to visit some guy with tattoos who claims he doesn't know where Sandra is. Useless asks, who does she go with? Tattoo guy: "More or less anybody." "I knew that, but anybody special?" Useless forks out some bribe money but if he gets more info we don't hear about it.

Metiche and her brother Gabriel have a chat with Chucho of which all that seemed germane was that they aren't going to tell Alex it was Bruno who paid them to lie - because if Bruno goes down, they will too. They agree Pedro has been nervous lately.

Boring conversation between Fernando and Vic. Katia is depressed since Bruno dumped her and she's gone back to live with her uncle again. They review Vic's many troubles and Fer asks, "What can I do to help?" "Love me forever!"

Elena is disgusted that Useless let her daughter Sandra escape. She'll hire a private eye if Useless doesn't get results soon. She asks about her other daughter (MJ): "Is she much like Sandra?" "Identical." "I want to see her."

Alex shows his cellphone, with the photo of Sandra, to MJ, and tells her all: that Sandra is her identical twin sister, that their mother Elena is alive. MJ is beyond shocked. Alex asks her not to tell Paula or Pedro, it will just upset them.

He has to go to work. MJ staggers off, dizzy and disoriented. Down by the canal Bruno finds her, shakes her, threatens her, throws her on the ground and kicks her! He's mad she didn't cast her vote for him.

Her waters break, she goes into labor! "Help me, Bruno!" she begs but he walks away (to make yet another call to Erick and say he wants MJ's dad to putrify in jail). She screams and sobs in the bullrushes.

Ah, I KNEW our favorite little white puffball was going to have a Lassie moment! Desperate to avoid yet another monologue from Felipa the boring baby-talking-dog-lecturer, Cuco streaks off to find MJ gasping on the ground! And then goes back and gets Felipa! Good girl, Lassie! As Felipa is regarding the scene in astonishment, Bruno suddenly reappears, scoops MJ up (muttering "this is the second time I've saved your life") and an ambulance is summoned.

So now all the good guys are pacing around the hospital waiting room. Alex, who had been en route to some hacienda-to-hotel-conversion business deal, turns the helicopter around and hops in the waiting car and is back in time to get to MJ's hotel room as their baby boy is born. He gets to cut the umbilical cord. There's a VERY sweet scene with the new mommy and daddy and baby. Awwwwww.

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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Gancho Friday Jan 1 Part Two - Coni will stick to Mauricio like mueganos

Every time I see Coni I want to yank her purty hair. That said, I do admire her tenacity and her ability to maintain focus. Now she has focused on the fact that Furia Enmascarada may well be her husband Mauricio. She's like a terrier with a stinky sock when she wants to find something out, darn it!! She flashes back to all the clues and smirks to herself.

As we know, Monita has dragged Furia off to a restaurant for lunch before her big fight. She's curious why he keeps his face hidden, it must be something very heavy (grueso). He could at least show her, she won't tell anyone who he is. Of course we know he can't do this, so he puts her off by saying one day he'll show her his face but not yet. "Are you quite ugly?" she asks, "Do you have pimples on your face? Is your nose smashed to one side?" She says she doesn't care what he looks like because she knows his soul. He has heart and she loves his eyes. He tells her each day as he knows her better he loves her more. They gaze at each other. Okee dokee, line up those anvils.

Aldo and Estrella discuss Mauricio's impending problem, how are both he and Furia going to show up at the same party? Aldo suggests to Estrella that he play the role of Furia, after all, he already fooled Estrella with the costume. She doesn't think it's a good idea, if he is found out it could make things even worse. They're not sure what they can do about it but they agree that Mau is going to have to make sure that nobody suspects anything.

Back to the other restaurant where Coni and Beto are eating. Beto returns to the table while Coni bites her lip in deep thought. She tells him she was thinking about Mauricio and La Furia Enmascarada. "Something perverse?" Beto asks. Coni watches tenderly while he goes on a sweet little rant about holding and kissing his Betito. She tells him to stop acting like the baby is his when she's told him it's not. He doesn't care, he wants her to let him keep saying it's his. Anyway, they'll see if it's a little Ochoa when it's born. He'll be able to tell by its odor and male-ness. The lovers laugh and make out.

Monita orders her pre-fight lunch of pozole rojo with everything, lots of radishes, and nice and spicy with chile piquin. She's rubs her hands and practically salivates on the table. Ya gotta love this girl's appetite and the way she enjoys her comfort food. She tells Furia she likes to carb up with her pozole before a fight, it makes her fight better. She brings up Ximena's party and Furia moans and rubs his head. He doesn't like parties but says he'll go. She can't wait to see everyone's faces when she walks in on his arm. She tells Furia he doesn't have to answer any questions from Mauricio or Salvador who is his right hand man. Furia frets and says he hopes everything goes OK.

The romantic music plays and Monita thanks Furia for being her date for the party tonight. He has no idea what a big help it is to her. Then I think she tells him that if Mau gives him a hard time it's OK to smack him upside the head. (Dar la torre).

We finally get a break from the restaurants and move on over to the club where Luisa and Katia's friend Andrés is singing. The two girls and Ivan find a seat just as the music starts. Andrs sings romantically and stares into Luisa's beautiful brown eyes; he's singing as if she's the only person in the room. Ivan catches on and scowls jealously while Andres croons and Luisa grins.

OK, back to the restaurant with Moni and Furia. Monita practically pitches a fit of ecstacy when her pozole arrives. She goes heavy on the lime and tells Furia he should really try it, it's the best pozole in Mexico. She covers her eyes and promises not to look.."come on, lift up the mask". Unbelievably, he does just that, takes a bite of stew and then closes in for a kiss. Gah, commercial!

And...the kiss doesn't happen. Furia chickens out and quickly replaces the mask with Monita being none the wiser. She digs into her lunch.

Andres is still singing directly at Luisa, Luisa is still staring at him and looking incredibly beautiful, Ivan is absolutely furious, Andres sings, Luisa beautiful, Ivan pissed, etc.

Over at the neighborhood Team Monita is ready to leave. Nieves has her furry lion purse, Pau is on Christian's arm, and Estrella and Aldo finally join them. (Estrella is looking much better today with no mention of her previous fainting spell.) Uh oh, Nieves is not happy to see that Alicia has OF COURSE shown up to see Monita's fight. Well, there's nothing Nieves can do about it so the ladies hurl a few ineffectual insults at each other and they all trot off to the fight.

Luisa and Katia are moved and entranced by Andrés. He joins them at their table and tells them, while looking directly at Luisa, that his group is there every weekend and he hopes they, while looking directly at Luisa, will come again. Katia gushes of course they will! Ivan has seen enough; he jumps up and puts his arm posessively around Luisa's shoulder. Luisa introduces him as her boyfriend. Andrés makes nice but gets a huge stink-eye from Ivan. Luisa and Ivan have a minor spat whereby Luisa reassures Ivan that Andrés is just a friend but isn't he padríssimo?!? Andrés and one of his band members watch Luisa and Ivan and then laugh. Luisa slyly flirts with Andrés when Ivan isn't looking.

The sun sets...

...and leads into a sunburst shape of backlighting at the arena where the crowd is starting to gather for the big fight. First we see Jacqui enter holding both Jero and Oski's arms. She is thrilled to be doing something so delightfully naco. It's a wonderful experience but she's just a little afraid. Oski announces he is there to protect her. Jero butts in that he is also there to protect her. Jacqui is in her element and she and her two lap dogs find their seats.

Elsewhere in town Rolu's brother Arnoldo fastidiously places a hankie on the curb and sits himself down in front of the house. Ximena arrives and rehearses how she will tell Rolu that she couldn't find his brother. She catches sight of the brother and thinks he's a beggar. She's out of money so she rummages around in her purse and gives him an apple with just a couple of bites out of it. He stares at it, horrified. Xime continues up to her door blabbing that the poor poverty-stricken lad has given her a case of depression. Arnie hurls the apple away from him and he stares at his hand, petrified.

Back at the arena we are lucky to catch a glimpse of Gabi and Sal caressing and saying nice things to each other. He loves her so much. He never knew a boxing arena could be so marvelous, and it's not the arena, it's her. She hopes he says these nice things to her always. Then Sal catches a glimpse of Jacqui and her little devils across the way. He's not happy to see her sandwiched between those two idiots, she's too much of a lady. Gabi disagrees, first of all those guys are eating out of her hand, secondly yes she might be a lady but she has talons.

Change of subject, Gabi sees Coni and Beto stroll in and tells Sal to get a load of who is walking in all triumphant. It's a disgrace that she would come to this place on Beto's arm! She comments that Coni is as bad as a photo on a license. (Yep, that can be pretty bad.) Gabi wonders why does Coni have to ruin every one of their happy moments? Good question.

Now Team Monita catches sight of La Momia which sets them off on a flurry of insults and gossip. Alicia seems particularly delighted to see that it's Nieves's son Beto who is escorting this stylish bit of trouble into the arena. Ooh and when she finds out la Momia is carrying Beto's child she fans herself ecstatically.

Beto and Coni plop down into the front row and Beto asks Coni does she need anything, soda, nachos, mueganos? (Maricruz taught us about mueganos when we recapped Querida Enemiga.) Coni asks why is he acting so weird? Beto just wants to make sure she's properly installed before he goes to give his support to Monita. This sets Coni off into a royal pout. she whines, she wheedles, she wants Beto with her! Beto is firm however, he always tells Monita good luck before a fight, she needs him. He rushes off and Coni looks around lost and unhappy.

Ximena arrives home to find Rolu tied up in the dark. She has three things to tell him. One...aw heck, she cries that she can't do 123 because she went to the airport and couldn't find his brother. She asks Rolu to please not be mad at her. Meanwhile our confused and lovesick victim looks like he's going to cry. OK, she remembers the three things. Una, his brother disappeared, it's all her fault and they should call the police. Dos, she understand that even though she abducted Rolu she can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to, much less stay with her. Tres, what was was three? Shoot, all she can think of is this poor guy at the door who was begging and now she's distracted and can't finish. And he was so well-dressed.

Xime unties Rolu, plops down on the bed and cries that she loves him loves him loves him. She's crying because she wanted a super duper maraviguau marriage that everybody would envy. She puts her head on his shoulder and says she wanted to be super happy with him but she knows she can't keep him with her against his will. "You're free and you can leave when you want, this marriage is over." Rolu cries into his hands and looks as if his heart is breaking, effectively answering the question does he have one?

Over at the arena Coni sees Jacqui and her devilish lapdogs staring at her, then Gabi and Sal, then the naco Greek chorus of Team Monita. She short-circuits and imagines she's in the arena alone hearing them call her a zorra and that she should go away! Back to reality, she sees Furia enter the arena. She jumps right up and tells him she'd like to discuss Valentina Lopez with him. Dang you cannot keep this woman down.

Furia tells her he's not interested in discussing anything with her and yes, Valentina is his girlfriend. Coni moves toward him and tells him she (Coni) is not as bad as she seems. He backs away in a vain attempt to maintain his personal space. She tells him his accent turns her on, she loves Argentinians.

Xime and Rolu are still crying. She tells him she untied him and he can leave. She's going to close her eyes and count to ten, when she opens them she wants him gone because she doesn't want to see him leave. Xime sits on the end of the bed and starts counting. Rolu is completely tortured, sits in front of her gets all up in her face and scares the heck out of her when she opens her eyes. "Rolu you scared me! OK you need more time. I'll count to twenty." Xime doesn't want to say goodby to him. He tells her he doesn't want to say goodbye either. His brother's coming and she organized a fiesta, er a mega party for him. Rolu wants to give Arnoldo his party. Xime says his bro's mega party can also be their goodbye party, a welcome and goodbye party at the same time.

Over at the arena Monita is warming up while Don Cesar is giving her last minute advice, jab constantly with the left, again and again. Beto tries to give his two cents worth but Moni tells him to shut it, their story line is over. They start to go at it but DC intervenes and tells her to be calm, concentrate on her fight. However he allows them to have a moment alone with strict instructions to Beto not to make Moni mad. Beto tries to recall the old days before Mauricio and Coni and Furia but Moni spits back at him that she's entering a new era, one without Beto AND Mau.

Out in the arena Estrella is trying to head off trouble between Coni and Furia by telling Coni that aliens aren't allowed in their world. Now beat it! Coni blows them a nasty kiss which Estrella catches and throws over her shoulder. Good one Estre. She tells Furia she's afraid that Coni suspects something but our ignorant insect reassures her that everything will be fine.

The rest of the Mau family shows up accompanied by Ivan and Tere and Aldo shows them to their seats.

Aldo has a final chat with Furia about his disguise and how he's going to handle the party. He also has Furia sign an autograph as if that will throw Coni off the scent but Coni hasn't taken her eyes off Furia. Meanwhile Estrella watches Coni like a hawk.

Tomorrow: It looks like Monita has a very good night in the ring.

Vocabulary:

Algo bien grueso = something very heavy
Bien instalada = properly installed, comfortably placed
Dar en la torre - smack upside the head, knock some sense into someone to teach someone a lesson. Put someone in a tough spot. (Lit. teach the tower, tower being one's head or maybe a chess piece? Not sure.)
Garras = claws, talons
Mala como foto de licencia = as bad as a license photo
Mueganos = fried dough bits covered in caramel
Una nefasta = a bad sign, a disgrace
Lo nuestro raya es historia = our line (story line) is history
Padríssimo = doesn't suck

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Friday, January 01, 2010

Gancho Friday, January 1, 2010, Part One. It’s a new year, but little is new in our show. Can you spell “extension?”

Alternate title: Why are the villains smarter than the heroes?

Hi, folks. This is episode 136 of about 220 episodes. We remarked last week that the show seemed to be almost wrapped up. Apparently, though, it was extended. How do writers extend shows? Two ways. Introduce a new character, or give us shows with lots of talking, but in which nothing really happens (like every Seinfeld episode). They’ve combined both approaches, as we have a new character (Rolu’s brother), and just about nothing happened today (except lots of talking).

I’m going to New York Saturday for another Metropolitan Opera, so I may not be able to give you too much detail of the nothing that happened, but I’ll give it a shot. This time, I’m seeing the opera Hansel and Gretel, by Engelbert Humperdinck (no, not the pop singer who sang Release Me in 1967, whose real name was Arnold George Dorsey, the real Engelbert Humperdinck was a German composer who wrote Hänsel und Gretel in 1893). It’s a beautiful work, and of course concerns two innocent children, who get lost in the woods, only to be captured by an Evil Witch. Hmmm, OUR novela has two “lost children” (Moni and Mau), who are sort of captured by an Evil Witch. But there’s a problem. Connie can’t cook, so that oven thing’s not happening. Oh well, let’s check out the “nothing” that DID happen.

We begin by revisiting the scene where Estrella is in bed, having just fainted. We never do find out what was wrong with her in this episode. Moni tells Estre and Paula that she’s invited both Mau AND Furia to Xime’s party, and no, she’s not going to forgive Mauricio. In fact, she wants him to see that she’s moved on with her life, and has a man by her side. Estre thinks it’s low to use jealousy as a weapon, but Moni says she really does have feelings for La Furia. If she could fall in love again, it could be with him. She goes off to get dressed up for a lunch or dinner date with Furia. As she goes, Estre (who knows that Mau and Furia can’t possibly meet each other), mutters, what a mess (qué bronca), although Paula doesn’t really know the half of it.

Mau is at Furia-central, wearing the costume without the mask, as Aldo relates Estrella’s fainting incidents. Mau feels that Aldo is demonstrating that he is more grown up than before. Although he’s seeing Estrella, he’s maintaining both his grades (calificaciónes) and his job. Mau then tells how his situation with Moni is getting dangerous. She now has feelings for La Furia. He’s sort of fallen into his own trap – he wanted to be close to Monita, but now she’s attracted to another guy – La Furia. Aldo thinks it’s funny, you’re jealous of yourself? Mau says it’s not that simple. There’s also the question of how Moni will react when she finds out that Furia is Mau. Mau betrayed her, and she might think that Furia betrayed her, too. But he doesn’t think it’ll be too long before this all comes to pass, because Moni invited him to Xime’s party tonight after Moni’s title bout. And Moni also invited Furia, who couldn’t say no. Well, how are you gonna pull this off? questions Aldo. Mau has no idea.

Rolu’s brother Arnoldo is having trouble untying Rolu from the ropes Ximena used to tie him to the bed. Why? He’s constantly replacing the torn tissues he has to use to prevent his hands from touching those icky germs that are everywhere. Rolu threatens if Arnie doesn’t pick up the pace, he’ll spit on him! So get a move on. Arnie has one bag of clean tissues and one of used, and it’s not so easy to protect his little fingers from that nasty stuff that’s all over everything.

Luisa and Katia have come to visit Ivan, let’s go to a club. Ivan asks if they have Mau’s permission, and Katia wonders if he’s a fraidy-cat. No, it’s just that he promised Mau he wouldn’t go behind his back. Well, don’t worry, Teresa okayed it, and they can also go to the fight and Xime’s party later. Ivan suggests getting Aldo and Estrella to go, too, since Mau’s given his permission for them to be a couple. Luisa doesn’t like this. It’s not fair. Aldo gets everything, and my Dad is so strict with me!

Arnie’s just about to untie one of Rolu’s feet. He hyperventilates, blows on his fingers, but he can’t do it! Fine, says Rolu, just untie one arm, that’s it. Ximena is going to be back really soon, and since you see she tied me up, she’ll probably tie you up, too, with a dirty, disgusting rope, how would you like that? This does the trick. Arnie holds his breath, closes his eyes, and quickly unties one of Rolu’s hands. Rolu gets the rest of the ropes off, and Arnie wants to get out of this dirt den fast! He grabs his tissue bags, Rolu packs his suitcase, they’re down the steps, and out the ----wait a minute, Rolu can’t do it. Huh?

Lalu is getting ready the final preparations for the mega-party, when Ximena rushes in, her life is in chaos. She breathlessly explains that while Lalu had tons of things to do, she only had one responsibility – to pick up Rolu’s brother at the airport. And she blew it. She couldn’t find him, and has no idea where he is. Rolu’s going to be so mad. Lalu tries to console her.

Rolu explains to Arnie that he can’t leave Xime alone. He doesn’t know why, but he really loves her, and can’t walk out on her. So, brother, you’ll just have to tie me up again, and put in the gag. He goes upstairs as Arnie sputters nervously, thinking Rolu needs therapy more than HE does.

Ivan, Luisa and Katia are just about to head out, when the music turns dark, and evil drums play. Oh, and Connie’s in the neighborhood. Looking smashing in a tight white long sleeved sweater and black pants, she strides purposefully up to Beto’s door, and knocks. In the background, La Monita, all gussied up for her lunch date with Furia, spies the intruder. Moni’s wearing a red sweater over a tight white dress with a purple belt, looking hotter than we’ve seen her in quite some time. She tells Connie she’s pretty brazen (descarada) to openly come to the vecindad and seek out her lover. Said lover, looking a bit shy, ambles out, and Connie says she wants to take him out to a restaurant.

Moni criticizes Beto for losing all his dignity, and for falling into La Momia’s traps. Beto wants Moni to treat his lady with respect, but Moni doesn’t think she deserves any. She’s about to boil over with rage, until La Furia arrives, and it’s time for a little my guy’s better than your guy. Moni gives a warm hug to a befuddled Furia, and informs Connie and Beto that this just happens to be her novio! Connie thinks it’s kind of cute, but Beto’s not so happy about this new development. How can Moni like this guy, who also has a thing for Estrella? Moni wonders how can Beto like Connie, who’s also married to Mauricio? She puts her arms around Furia’s neck, let’s boogie on outta here. The two couples head out, but they’re not done yet. Both Connie and Furia seem to want to get going, but Beto and Moni keep challenging each other. Beto’s mad at Furia for messing with “his” Monita. But Moni wants nothing to do with him. Now she’s got an upstanding guy (hecho y derecho) who’s honest, and doesn’t trick her (famous last words). The two couples finally go off to their respective lunch dates.

Lalu is trying to console Xime. Just untie Rolu, and let him leave, he treats you horribly. But Xime can’t, she loves Rolu more than anyone else in the world. Oh, open your eyes, replies Lalu. This guy doesn’t love you, he makes fun of you right in front of your nose. He even had a lover in your bed, remember? Xime admits he’s right. Although she’ll die of sadness, maybe she should let Rolu go.

However, Rolu, no longer under the grip of those ropes, is finally gripped by the force that is Xime, and is desperate for Arnie to retie him, although Arnie wants to wash his hands a few times first. Arnie thought this wife was crazy, why does Rolu want to stay with her? Rolu admits that his wife is a bit crazy, and sometimes he wants her to disappear, but then he’s smitten by her tenderness, her innocence, in fact, Arnie himself will not be able to resist falling in love with her. Even Arnie has to lower his glasses at that one. Rolu tells Arnie that Xime’s preparing a super fiesta to welcome Arnie, and he doesn’t want to mess up her plans, so hurry up and tie me back up. Then wait outside the door, and when she shows up, tell her you arrived on your own, knocked on the door, and there was no answer, so you decided to wait.

Rolu can’t believe Arnie still has this dumb phobia about germs (he says microbios). You’ve had it since childhood. How much have you spent on tissues? You keep washing your hands, but guess what, brother? The air you breathe is FULL of germs. This revelation drives Arnie to a new round of hand washing.

Back in the vecindad, the coast is clear, so Ivan, Luisa and Katia head out. Katia’s embarrassed at how brazen her sister is. Luisa wants to know about this Furia guy, she doesn’t want Moni to go with HIM, her Papá loves Moni. Katia thinks HER problems are worse. Aldo doesn’t give her the time of day, her mother is a disaster, and she hates her sister. Ivan wisely counsels that the three of them can’t solve any of these problems, so let’s just have fun, and go to the dance club.

Xime’s sad that the decorations are so perfect (she even likes the napkins in the shape of chickens – Lalu corrects her, they’re swans), but the party’s going to be a failure because there’s no Arnie. Lalu says we should celebrate your liberation from Rolu. Xime doesn’t think that’s a good thing to celebrate, it’s like having 5 liters of ice-cream, but having to eat it alone. Lalu says Rolu’s not worth it (he says Rolu’s not worth a barquillo, which is an ice cream cone), and that’s fattening anyway. He says men are like money bills. You keep the big bills, and spend the twenties, which get handled the most (they’re the most manoseado). And your husband’s like one of those bills. Xime asks if he’s like those overused bills that get taken out of circulation, and Lalu says that’s right. He tells Xime she’s a gem (una moneda de colleción, which would be a rare coin), and Rolu’s not worth ten cents. Swear to me you’ll finally get rid of that blemish (lacra) on your life, and be done with him. She shakes her head, she just can’t do it.

Rolu’s finally retied, and re-gagged, as Arnie wipes the sweat from his brow. Arnie tells Rolu he’s shocked at the change in his brother. Formerly, he was a race car driver, with tons of girls. Now he’s married, the woman has him tied to his bed, and he LIKES it. That’s not my brother. Rolu tries to protest, but since he’s gagged now, we (and Arnie) can’t understand a word he says. Arnie doesn’t care, Rolu can do what he wants, but (trying to stuff the rest of his tissues into his little plastic bags), he does have one bit of advice for Rolu – therapy.

Lalu is still trying to convince Xime. Your marriage is like the Titanic, and it’s sunk, since you don’t have Celine (Dion) to sing that song. You’re like Consti, who forced her husband to marry her. No way, I’m completely different, says Xime. It’s not the same, although it is the same (no es lo mismo, aunque sea igual, this works better in Spanish). Lalu keeps insisting, and Xime finally agrees, and says her three things. 1) She’s going to give up Rolu to make her girlfriend (Lalu) happy 2) she’s going to do it despite how much she loves him, and 3) with all the pain in her heart, this very day, she’ll give him his freedom. Lalu’s happy for her, but Xime’s in tears.

Restaurant time. First, we have Connie and Beto. They’re both talking about Moni, but sort of to themselves. Connie wants Moni to suffer, but Beto wants to be in Furia’s place, to get Moni back. Connie pokes Beto, stop interrupting my anger! Beto can’t believe his soul brother would double cross him with La Monita. Connie can’t believe Beto can be so brazen as to continue his affection for Monita right in front of her. Beto responds look who’s talking (el comal le digo a la olla, the griddle said to the pot, or that’s like the pot calling the kettle black). But hunger calls. Waiter!

In another restaurant (I think – typically they’d all be in the same one), Moni and La Furia sit down to their meal. Moni says it’s a shame Furia can’t eat because of that mask. Furia says she nourishes his spirit, his hunger can wait. But couldn’t he just take off the mask a little? Furia’s insistent, she knows he has to protect his identity. Moni’s still a little mad about the brazenness of La Momia. By the way, Furia, what do you think of her? Can you see how bad she is? Well, Furia only met her once at the gym, but he thinks neither her money nor her classy manner can hide her bitterness, and she’s nothing compared with the beauty of Monita, and the joy she radiates. Moni’s radiating at this point, smiling, edging closer and closer to her mystery man.

In a parallel scene, Connie asks Beto what’s up with this luchador? Beto gets mad, picks up his fork as a weapon, if Connie has a thing for that Furia guy, he’ll KILL both Furia and Connie. But Connie reassures her honeybun (bizcocho) she has eyes only for Beto, she’s just curious about that wrestler. Beto says that no one knows anything about Furia, he just showed up one day, Don Cesar introduced him. Wheels turning in her head, Connie inquires just when that was. Beto thinks it was just after Connie married Mau, and prohibited Mau from seeing La Monita. Hmmmm. Connie’s mind is putting together pieces, as Beto continues to enjoy his soda.

Moni continues to flirt with Furia, apologizing for calling him her novio, although she wouldn’t mind it, and defending her idea of introducing Mau to Furia at the party tonight, not to make Mau jealous, but to show him she can continue with her life after he betrayed her. Furia says he could never be mad with her, he’s here to help her, and takes her hand gently.

Beto has to leave now, but Connie wants him to stay, she was hoping to spend the afternoon together, wants him to do dirty things to her, she’s really tense. This gets Beto going, and he starts feeling her legs under the table, saying Don’t tempt me (no me tientes, no me tientes). But….right now, he can’t. He has to go see Moni’s championship fight, she’s going to win her title back. Connie’s appalled, why do you care about that chimpanzee? Beto says something like As the butcher said to the meat, let’s split up (como dijo el descuartizador , vámanos por partes). He adds that if Connie can live with Mau but go out with Beto, why can’t he go out with Connie, but go see La Monita? In fact, if Connie doesn’t let him do this, maybe he’s through with her. Connie gets a hurt, soft look, gently takes Beto’s hand, don’t be mad, it’s okay, you can go. But you know what? I want to go, too! Beto has to munch another french fry to get his head around this one.

Over in restaurant 2, Furia signs his autograph for some kids. Moni’s impressed with Furia’s fame. Furia points out that she’s a famous boxer too, but Moni laments that the public doesn’t care too much about women boxers. And wrestling is really popular. Pretty soon, Furia won’t be able to walk the street (in this costume) without being mobbed by fans. Furia hopes that doesn’t happen. Moni then looks Furia in the eye, says that although she feels comfortable with him, she still wonders why he’s so insistent that he can’t take off his mask, even with her. What’s he afraid of? What does he have to hide? The camera zooms in on that masked face.

Beto asks Connie, but you don’t even like boxing, do you? She shows him she does by punching his arm 3 or 4 times. So why do you want to go to the fight? Connie says it’s her own private affair (asunto). And she’s going, period, honeybun. She actually does that lizard tongue thing Beto does, and gives him a slurpy kiss. Beto likes this, takes another bite of food, and as he wipes his mouth with the tablecloth, he reminds Connie not to cause a scandal, okay? Don’t worry, says Connie, I’ll just go and act like any other naco, don’t you trust me? In truth, no. But she gets all sexy again, tells him if he’s mad, he’ll just have to hold it in. Well, Beto can’t quite hold in all he’s eaten and drunk, so he goes to the bathroom. As he leaves, she replays a few things in her mind. Aldo had some secret with Mau, and they wouldn’t tell Luisa. And an earlier time, Aldo said to Mau “Don’t criticize me. You do the same thing. You also lie to people. Why don’t you tell Constanza just who that Furia Enmascarada is!” Connie’s face lights up. She’s pretty sure she knows EXACTLY who that Furia Enmascarada is.

So ends our episode of nothing. But it was enjoyable nevertheless. Sylvia should have part two up by late Sunday or early Monday (something to do with a boat, California, the usual). Bye all, I’m off to New York!

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ENDA, January 1, 2010

Discussion post for the Jan. 1 episode.

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