De Que Te Quiero Te Quiero #128 & 129, 7/11/2014

Both Part 1 and Part 2 are now up!!

De Que Esta Comedia Se Volvio Tragedia, Se Volvio Tragedia 

Recap by LatinaInMD

Part One

These comedy writers played a dirty trick on us.  Months and months of the comedy train going in circles and just when we thought the plot was heading somewhere interesting…wham…they throw a wrench in it…literally!!!!

We begin with a quick re-hash - in no particular order:  Diego continues to whine about Natalia’s infidelity, first to his “shrimpy shrink” friend and then to his dear aunt Irene, both of whom try to reason with him; alas, he jumps off the comedy train and skips town, not a moment too soon before the comedy train derails.  In the meantime, Natalia drowns her sorrows in her coffee.  In another part of town, Alberto (until now a mere sideshow in the Brigitte-Rod-Alberto “love triangle”) suddenly has plans for a future (ah, the irony!!!) with Bri, despite the countless clues she’s given him that she could care less.  Let’s start off with a weekend meal to introduce your whole family to my parents while they are in town, he says.  All she cares about is what HIS parents will think about HER family, but she appears genuinely touched when Alberto reminds her she should be proud of her family.

Natalia and her fake mama Carmen agree it’s best for her to quit her job, and she heads to Caprico to do just that.  A dapper-looking Andres (who has just come back into town) shows up at Caprico with a gorgeous bouquet of red roses, ready to grovel some more for a little bit of her love.  But she is not there yet, so he leaves the bouquet for her and departs.  Brigitte shows up at work first and just as she starts admiring the roses, grumpy grandpa shows up and she has to bear his groans and moans about all the employees who never bother to show up on time.  He’s got a point there!!!  She offers to help, but he grunts that the only thing she can do for him is locate Natalia…stat!!!  Brigitte reaches for her phone in her purse and…ooops!!!....she realizes she left it in Alberto’s car.

Irene returns home and informs Tadeo that Diego left town because he didn’t want to turn into his brother’s murderer.  (“no se queria convertir en el asesino de su hermano” - alternate translation of the same Spanish words – “he didn’t want to turn into his brother, the murderer.” - prophetic choice of words!!!!)  Tadeo reminds her they still have pending the “big reveal” to Natalia, which reminds Irene she has to go to work to see how the business is doing, how Natalia is doing, and how the heck they will reschedule the “big reveal” with Carmen.

Brigitte almost calls Alberto about her phone, then stops and decides it is best not to alert him, lest he discover her cheating ways as a result.  She thinks it’s best to go find the phone herself.  Unfortunately, at that very moment Rod sends her a text saying “wasn’t it urgent for you to get rid of the kid?  If you want me to make you a deposit, send me your account number.”

Natalia enters grumpy grandpa’s office.  He begins one of his usual diatribes, but she cuts him off and informs him that she washes her hands of the hot mess that is his company because she quits.  She then walks out on him.  Take that grandpa!!!!!  All he can do is dial up Rod but alas he too is MIA, so he calls Irene to bark at her next and she informs him she is on her way.

Abdul’s new “girl” friend (Mali) approaches Carmen on the street, hands her a piece of paper with Abdul’s new address, and leaves her just standing there.  Color Carmen confused!!!  Later Carmen tells Angela about it and she warns her not to trust her; Carmen agrees, saying “if” she wants to look for him she can just find him at the garage where he works.

Natalia reads the card Andres left for her with the roses and says to herself “what a nice guy, Andres”.  (We all know what that means….nice guys never win!!!)  He calls her at that very moment and tells her he is back in town and wants to see her.  No problem, she says, come pick me up at Caprico in a half hour.  Irene shows up and Natalia informs her of her impending departure.  Irene says if she is going, then she is leaving with her.  She is not about to hold on to something that is already destroyed.  Eskenda is over.  They smile and hold hands affectionately…..Irene reminds Nat that she has Tadeo’s full support to start over.  They hug and agree all will be well….Later, dapper Andres picks up Nat in front of Caprico and asks her how he looks.  The boy is quite proud of himself, but the object of his affections tells him nonchalantly that he looks good.  Poor guy, he just about tells her (in not so many words) that her foul mood burst his happy bubble.  She apologizes and states the obvious…that she is not in a good mood.  So off they go in his brand-spanking new and shiny red sports car.  Irene, for her part, goes to grumpy grandpa and informs him that she quits, not only from Caprico, but from anything that implies being part of the Caceres family.  When he suggests she’s lost her marbles, she rebuts it by noting that the only crazy person there is him because he gave all the keys to the castle to his even crazier favorite grandchild Rod.

Paolo helps his girlfriend pack up her dead evil mother’s religious chotchkies.  He wonders out loud what they are going to do with all that stuff (read:  “junk”).  She plans to donate them to her evil mama’s congregation.  (Great, so they can resell them to another religious nut job in their midst.) “I just want to keep the good memories I had with my mom,” she adds.  (I assume those FEW memories will fit neatly in a teeny, tiny empty box of Kleenex.)

Alberto’s secretary informs him she can’t find the file he requested.  He says he probably left it in his car and asks her to go look for it. 
Of course, Bri’s cell phone rings right when the secretary opens the car door, so she takes it to Alberto along with the missing file.  Alberto immediately recognizes it as Bri’s phone.  While everyone else is barely arriving at work elsewhere in town, it must be the end of the day in his part of el D.F., because Alberto tells his secretary she can go home already.  As soon as the secretary leaves he reads the bombshell text message from “R” and quickly surmises “R” is none other than nutty Rod.  He tells himself it can’t be, but then his brain cells fire up and we get his sepia flashbacks of the many times he found Bri and Rod in compromising positions.  Just to confirm he is not imagining things, he calls “R” back on Bri’s phone and without any prompting Rod answers with: “What’s up with you?  Didn’t you need the money urgently?”  Alberto immediately cuts him off and just sits there with fire in his eyes.  This “always-way-too-calm-and-nice-to-be-a-lawyer” guy (and I should know) looks like he may finally explode…..Moments later Bri shows up all lovey-dovey, announcing she left work early so they could maybe go to the movies.  She is greeted with Alberto’s fiery, lazer-sharp angry stare.  She asks why he is looking at her that way.  “Why, Brigitte?” he responds.  “Why, what?  What’s wrong, my love?”  He wonders if perhaps instead of wanting to go to the movies what she wants is…he picks up her phone….THIS.  Oooops.  She knows her little game is over.  He tells her to take it because she has a message from Rod.  She takes it and just hangs her head in shame.  Alberto finally explodes and yells at her to speak.  He wants to hear from her own mouth that Rod is her lover and that she is pregnant with his child (read:  spawn).  He warns her not to dare deny it, and tells her she should at least have the courage to admit it.

Irene calls Tadeo and informs him of her decision to leave the family business.  He fully supports her and they are both hopeful about the prospect of starting a new business all their own.  Theirs and their daughter’s.

It breaks his heart/soul that the love he gave her was not enough for her, Alberto cries to Brigitte.  “You never loved me.  I was just a puppet for you.”  He wants to know why she had to betray him and why precisely with Rod.  Then he answers his own question, telling her the one she wanted to sleep with was Diego, all because of her sick rivalry with Natalia.  She barely mutters his name and he cuts her off, telling her not to bother saying anything.  (And we on the patio are eternally grateful for sparing us from her whining, at least for now!!!)  He bemoans how happy he was because he had the woman he loved at his side.  He never thought she was so fake and cynical.  It’s not as if his buddies didn’t tell him plenty of times, he says, but he was too stupid to pay attention.  Why?  Because he loved her.  Oh, here we go.  Bri finally starts her lame attempt at begging for forgiveness, but to no avail.  He never wants to see her again and demands she go get her things out of his place – stat – because he wants nothing there that reminds him of her.

Grumpy grandpa finally gets through on Rod’s phone and demands to know where he is and what he did to get everyone to quit.  He is not too pleased, but Rod reminds him he accomplished exactly what grandpa wanted.  Grandpa demands to see him immediately.

Natalia informs Andres that it’s over (again) with Diego and that she (again) never wants to see him….again.  And yet she goes on and on about him, asking Andres (as if he has the answer) why Diego behaves that way, when all she has ever done is to love him.  Luckily, they finally change the subject to Andres himself.  He plans to open new offices in el DF and…oh, here’s a convenient thought…since Nat just quit her job, why not go work for Andres now?  “Who better than you to work for me?”  (Who?  Just about any other woman you are not madly in love with would be a better option, Andres.  Just saying.)  She promises to think about it.

Rod arrives at grumpy grandpa’s office with his near permanent smirk of evil self-satisfaction on his face.  Things turned out even better than he expected, and it’s reason to celebrate.  He is not the least bit concerned about Eskenda’s future.  After all, clothing designer are a dime a dozen, in his opinion.  Piece of cake replacing his auntie, he says.  Don’t you worry about it, old man.

Alberto now sits in a bar drowning his sorrows, while having more sepia flashbacks remembering the “highlights” of his relationship with Brigitte.  Remembering those weak moments should have been enough for him to get over Bri, but instead he continues to ask himself why she did this to him.  His wounded male pride is stronger than the obvious fact that she is not worth his tears.

Speaking of tears – Brigitte is back at the apartment packing her bags, sniffling and crying, having her own sepia flashbacks of his relationship with Alberto – surprise, surprise, the highlight for her was him being willing to spend money to buy a place to her liking.    She wraps her arms as if to console herself, saying out loud what the patio peeps have said repeatedly for months, that she is a dummy.  “How could I lose him?  How could I not if all I did was dedicate myself to bugging him, lying to him?”  A dim light bulb flickers in her head, as she wonders if maybe she can ask him for forgiveness, then she looks up to heaven and declares:  “I swear to you, my God, that if he forgives me I will consecrate myself to making him happy.”  Consecrate?  Oh Lord.  What a hoot.  Pardon the double negative, but this ain’t no Gettysburg Address.

Nat’s biomama Irene calls fakemama Carmen and informs her both she and Nat quit Caprico, but they will start a new project together.  They make plans for lunch at Irene and Tadeo’s home the next day, where they will again attempt to make the “big reveal” to Nat.

The next morning Brigitte wakes up in Alberto’s bed and realizes, duh, that he never came home to sleep.  She wonders where he could have gone.  “Where are you, Alberto?”  she cries.

Tiburcio’s wife takes him out to the garden, dressed in full DF winter garb (no joke).  She just wants him to get some sunshine, which will either roast him or get those brain cells working again.  Randy Rod comes out in baggy shorts and sandals, pretending he too is out there to get some sun.  (Patio peeps know better, because that sickly pale skin tells us he hasn’t been in the sun since long before he woke up from his coma – since the first episode months ago, to be exact.  So why on earth is he out today?  The writers are cooking up something…and it’s not just Tiburcio’s brain.)

Natalia informs fakemama Carmen that Andres offered her a job.  She likes the idea but she also wants to accept Irene’s offer of a new job, though she is afraid that way she will always be “linked” to the Caceres.  (Carmen thought bubbles – “you can’t imagine how LINKED to them you will end up.”)  Speak of the devil….Andres shows up looking even more dapper.  He wants Nat to accompany him to look at some new offices, and she gladly goes with him.  (Carmen reminds her to take her phone with her.  She never knows if she is going to get a call that will change her life forever.  No, she didn’t say that to Nat, but she sure said it to the rest of us as soon as Nat and Andres left.)  And sure enough, while on the road, Nat gets the call from Irene inviting her to lunch at her home.

Grumpy grandpa, who until now has never made any attempt to socialize, informs Hilda that he is heading off to the golf club.  And, by the way, Lala asked for the day off.  (The writers are clearing out the mansion of its usual occupants…..never a good sign!!!)…..Soon after, Alberto shows up at the front door, and Hilda immediately informs him (as if she knows why he is there) that Rod is out in the garden.  Alberto tells her not to bother going to get him because he’ll find him on his own, and he marches right in.

Rod sees Alberto’s bloodshot eyes and says that must have been some party, why didn’t you invite me?  Alberto responds with a hard punch to Rod’s face…..Cut to Bri showing up at shrimpy shrink’s party-and-sobs pad, wondering if Alberto is there.  She says she is afraid he did something crazy because he found out she was cheating on him with Rob and she is carrying his spawn – er – child.  (No, Bri, he is only just now doing the crazy something, walking right into the lion’s den.)  Alberto screams at Rod about his betrayal; Rod says it’s not his fault Alberto set his eyes on a “__________” (fill in the blank), and they immediately come to blows.  At first it looks like they are just engaging in a bit of Greco-Roman wrestling, but as Alberto gains the upper hand, straddles Rod and chokes him, Rod reaches a hand over to some nearby bushes.  He has quite a choice of rocks to pick up, but no, apparently none of them were good enough for him…or for the writers.  No, somehow a heavy wrench (…a heavy wrench!!! in a garden!!!) just happens to be within Rod’s reach.  He grabs it and smacks Alberto squarely on the right temple with it.  Poor Alberto, one of the few truly likeable male characters in this whole thing, drops dead with a thud.  Proving yet again that….only the good die young.

(End of Part One)

Part Two

Apparently Rod thought he just used a toy wrench, otherwise I don’t get why it took him a moment to realize that his blow to Alberto’s temple did some REAL damage.  He gets up and tells Alberto to get up, but no response.  He nudges him, but no response.  He turns him over and sees the blood and the blank look in Alberto’s wide open eyes.  He feels for his heartbeat.  Now it hits him that he’s dead.  Remorse?  From Rod?  No way.  What we get is Rod screaming at the top of his lungs at Alberto for being stupid and showing up at his house.  “That’s what you get for defending a slut!!!,” he screams violently at Alberto’s lifeless body.  Tiburcio stares at the spectacle with shock and fear in his eyes.  Rod notices and marches up to him, declaring with gritted teeth:  “You saw nothing!!  If you say something, you die.  I swear you’ll go with him.  You heard me?”

Brigitte is afraid Alberto will go confront Rod.  (So why did you go to the bro pad first, idiot?)  Shrimpy shrink Alonso tells her to calm down, because he figures if Alberto had wanted to confront Rod he would have done it last night.  Why would he wait until now?  He figures Alberto just doesn’t want to answer Bri’s calls, but he is sure that he will answer him.  While he calls, Rod is busy tucking Alberto’s big body in the tiny bushes, presumably until he can come up with a better plan.  He picks up Alberto’s phone when it rings and turns it off.  (Here’s to hoping his fingerprints remain on the phone.)  Now Alonso tries to call Rod, but no luck.  Bri is a nervous wreck and begs Alonso to help her find him.  Alonso wonders where his “cabeza dura” friend is.  (Really, writers, “cabeza dura”?  If Alberto had had a hard head perhaps that wrench blow would have done less damage.  Just saying.)

As if all that wasn’t enough drama for one day, we now move on to Abdallah’s heartache over his son’s rejection.  He is feeling so down that he thinks it is time to call it quits on Mexico, because he no longer has anything there to “fill his existence”.  (Wasn’t he doing just fine with himself not too long ago until he accidentally met Natalia?  Talk about melodrama.)  Later he goes to Carmen’s fonda and informs her of his decision, but she puts her foot down.  No sir, she says, I won’t allow you to stick your head in the sand like an ostrich by simply running away.  He warns her she better not go beg his son to forgive him, because he has his pride and doesn’t want the crumbs of his son’s affection.  (Like father, like son.)

Rod goes to the kitchen and tells Hilda to go to the pharmacy to buy him suntan lotion because he needs it….urgently, he says.  (Well, it’s not a complete lie; I would agree his pasty skin needs it urgently.)  She tries to wiggle out of it, but to no avail.  He wants his lotion.  Ok, she says, but let me bring my old man back in from the sun BEFORE he gets heat stroke.  (A bit too late for that, methinks.)  Rod assures her that he will bring him in, but all he does is go back and remind Tiburcio that he saw nothing.  Then he wipes the tiny bit of blood off Alberto’s face, takes his car keys, and rolls him back into the bushes.  Poor Alberto, the indignity of it all…..Rod pulls Alberto’s car into the mansion’s carport and loads Alberto’s dead body into the trunk, as Tiburcio continues to watch helplessly.  Hilda returns to the garden with the lotion only to find Rod gone and Tiburcio still supposedly burning in the sun (though all along he was sitting in the shade).  While on the road to who-knows-where, Rod throws yet another hissy fit about the situation Alberto put HIM in by showing up at the mansion.  (The nerve of Alberto; how dare he die after getting smacked like that; so not fair to Rod!!!  Not!!!)  Speaking of the mansion, Alonso shows up there looking for Alberto; Hilda informs him he was there earlier, but stayed only a little while and left.

Rod goes to the novela well of “tried and true fake accidents” and selects the “drive car off a cliff accident” from it.  Cops are supposed to believe Alberto accidentally drove off a cliff, never mind that Rod tied a rope to the gear shift so he could put it on “drive”.  Either patio peeps are considered stupid, or the cops are stupid, or Rod is stupid.  Take your pick.  (One not-so-stupid thing Rod did beforehand, though, was to wipe his prints off Alberto’s phone.  Oh darn.)….As he turns to walk away, he stops cold in his track.  The specter of Alberto is standing there waiting for him.  Looks like nutty Rod will eventually “go over the edge” too…at least figuratively.  Fitting retribution from the novela gods, if you ask me.

Kim and her “flaquito” Morales are enjoying a meal after spending who knows how long “working up an appetite”.  He wonders what other excuse he can come up with so he can take more time off from work to continue their tryst.  Just then the doorbell rings; it’s Kim’s “osito” Eleazar, who just stopped by to see how his underling is doing; Kim’s hides in the bedroom while Morales tries to convince El that he is can’t return to work because his tummy is not well.  It looks like he will get away with it until El notices a scent that reminds him of Kim’s perfume.  He steps in to get a better whiff of it, and takes the opportunity to rant about how sick and tired he is of that aroma, of his nickname “osito”, of Kim’s pouty lips.  What a difference to Carmen, he says, who gives him goosebumps, whose perfume makes him feel like he is on a field of roses.  “What a difference,” he says “that IS a REAL woman.”  (It’s a wonder Kim didn’t come rushing out to smack him, or that Morales didn’t stand up for his love.) A noise in the bedroom gets their attention and Morales pretends he is going to check on it.

Carmen visits Abdul in his new bachelor pad to advocate for his father.  But Abdul, the real hard-head here, refuses to listen to reason as Carmen tries to convince him that he should be grateful to his papa for saving him from that woman…..Abdul wants nothing from the man who abandoned him and Carmen continues to waste her breath trying to change his mind.  Moving on.

Kim tells Morales she won’t allow Eleazar to speak badly of her.  “Either you throw him out, or I’ll throw him out.”  Morales prefers getting rid of him first, then getting back at him in “other” ways.  But then Eleazar knocks on the bedroom door and Morales barely has time to push Kim on the bed and partly cover her up, leaving her feet exposed.  Eleazar enters the room, notices the feet (but does not recognize them), and realizes Morales only pretended to be sick so he could do the deed.  Eleazar gives him just long enough to throw out the woman and get his butt back to the office.

Rod returns home to Hilda’s whining about him not taking her old man back inside.  He chooses to ignore her, until she mentions that Alonso came looking for him and asked if Alberto had come by the mansion earlier.  Rod demands to know what she told him, and he is none too pleased (read:  “fuming”) to hear that she confirmed to Alonso that Alberto was there earlier.  Grandpa shows up and wonders why Rod is so darn upset.

The moment of reckoning is here.  Irene and Tadeo welcome Carmen into their home, just moments before Natalia also arrives.  They waste no time to tell her why they are all gathered there.  Tadeo and Carmen are cool as cucumbers, but Irene is visibly nervous.  So, of course, they leave it up to her to start talking.  She takes Nat’s hands, sits her by her side, and tells her she will never find the precise words needed to tell her what she has to tell her.  She just asks that she listen thinking of the great love all three of them feel for her.  Nat senses something big is about to happen and she gets nervous too.  Irene tells her the daughter she had was born 25 years ago in Tuxpan and she had been told she had died, but it wasn’t so.  Nat still has no clue it’s her, she just gets excited and says “how wonderful that she is alive”.  Yes, says Irene, she was taken from my side and miraculously left in father Juan’s church in the Christmas manger.  Nat starts to get a clue, and Carmen reminds her that SHE took that baby with her.  Nat and Irene simply stare at each other, trembling, both of their faces drenched in tears…..For a brief moment it looks like we will get a “happy reunion” moment.  But no, Nat will not make it that easy for us or for her biomama Irene.  Irene tries to hug Nat and gets her rejection instead.  Nat whines that she “can’t be the woman who abandoned me.”  She reproaches Carmen for allowing them to break the news to her that way.  She refuses to hear explanations from any of them, because “there is no valid explanation for abandoning a newborn,” she says.  She gets even more upset when she hears that they’ve all known for a while but kept the secret from her.  She feels like an idiot, and judging from her reaction and her refusal to listen to reason, she is not far off the mark.  So she does the only thing she knows how to do….she runs away.  Just like Diego ran away.  Proof positive they are made for each other.  A visibly heartbroken Irene cries inconsolably and wants to run after her, but Carmen tells her it’s best to let Nat go for now, because she needs to think and digest the news.

Natalia cries as she walks down the street, telling herself “God, it can’t be.  My mother is señora Irene and my father is señor Tadeo.  It can’t be.”  She bemoans the fact that she felt so much affection for them, for the ones who “abandoned” her to her luck as a newborn.  (Because, as we all know peeps, it is just horrible to find out that your parents are two wonderful, smart, funny, creative people who loved you and helped you long before they knew they had any blood ties to you.  Oh, the horror, the horror.)  Tadeo, the voice of reason, reminds Irene and Carmen that the worse is over.  Irene is concerned for Natalia and continues to cry heartwrenching tears.  Carmen is sure Natalia is headed to see Padre Juan, so she calls him to give him the heads up and to ask him to explain to Natalia that she is mistaken about her parents.

Grandpa agrees with Rod that Hilda is too irreverent, but doesn’t understand why it bothers Rod so much that she shared information with Alonso about Alberto’s visit.  Alberto’s ghost makes a presence and suggests to Rod that he tell his grandpa the whole truth, unless he is worried that it will ruin his “perfect crime”.

Abdallah wasted no time finding a buyer for his business and is discussing with him the terms of a potential buy-out. He is serious about skipping town.  Abdul arrives right after the buyer leaves.  He reproaches his father for not being upfront with him from the start, instead of butting into his relationship with La Jaiba.  They discuss the reason for Abdallah’s disappearance 25 years earlier; Abdul says “cultural customs” are no excuse for his father not even bothering to get in touch with his son in those 25 years.  His father agrees and says that’s why it is best for him to leave.  Abdul asks if Turks quit so easily.  “Does that mean…?,” asks Abdallah.  “That means that we can try,” says Abdul, “just don’t ask me to call you dad, not for now.”  Abdallah asks if they can start with a hug, and Abdul gives in willingly.  Finally, a bit of joy in one truly dreary episode.

Natalia arrives at Padre Juan’s place, where he is all ready to tell her the whole story.  Yes, he’s known about it for a while.  No, things didn’t happen the way she thinks.  He found out from Tiburcio under secret of confession, so he couldn’t tell anyone.  But now that Natalia knows the story, he can fill in the details for her.  (Meanwhile, Irene and Tadeo agree it is best for Irene to go to Carmen’s home, in case Natalia returns there.  He would love to go too, but he understandably feels drained and needs to rest.)  Natalia cries and listens calmly as she finally gets the whole story from Padre Juan.

Previews:  Rod is sure everyone will think it was an accident; Alonso is sure that Rod killed Alberto; Eleazar tells Morales he is going to arrest Rod, proof or no proof; Eleazar and Morales, guns drawn, arrest Rod when he arrives home.