Me Declaro Culpable #19, 3/13/20: The Wait is Over, There’s a KISS

There is still room at the #frustratedwithNatalia table, because she could still change her mind. Let’s get right to it.

Julián gives Nat the Heave Ho

Natalia starts out strong, but Julián’s barrage of emotional torture and spit spray in her face seems to turn her back into her jellyfish stage. Julián leaves her standing in the dimly lit office after pronouncing that after all the love he’s given her, supported her, knowing all her secrets and defects, he still loves her, but he’s tired of all the drama and she’s A.L.O.N.E. [Note to Natalia: We are waiting for you to decide between being forced to choose a sleazy jerk who can perform in bed and the guilt of choosing a really sweet guy who thinks he can’t, all because you caused his condition.]

Who’s Minding the Dump? A dog.

Ingrid chats nonchalantly with Mauro on her cell phone after escaping the manicomio with Bertie and now navigating through mounds of discarded human detritus. She tells him they are ok and passes the phone to Bertie.

The two Amazonas stop, in broad daylight, get the body of skinny Luciana out and rolled over into a pile of trash. Ingrid wants to hurry away. Bertie wants to say “goodbye” to her friend. She removes a fancy dinner ring Bertie had given her for her birthday awhile back to keep as a trophy. [Note to future forensic investigators: Will the ring be a key to identifying the killer? And what about Luciana’s shroud. I bet that could be traced back to the clinic.]

Café No-Tell

Apparently, it’s still early the same day and Franco didn’t spend the night holding vigil over a sleeping Alba. He only stayed until she was sound asleep. He checks in with Bianca and then as he leaves, Paolo happens to roll in. Immediately, Paolo complains about having to meet with Julián and objects to the offer of indemnification he gave him. Paolo is still harping on no money, only justice with the person responsible for his accident rotting in prison. Franco tells him to be patient, these things take time, there’s a process, but that is their goal. In the meantime, take the money. The conversation is interrupted by the call regarding Roberta and he hurries out.

And the Band Will Play (Coronavirus Cancellations Notwithstanding)

Dante is at the café asking Bianca for an advance to cover two future play dates. He’s sure they will be able to bring in lots of patrons. They need the money to cover the rent and other living expenses. Alba has reappeared with a bit of a hangover. Bianca leaves Dante – they’ll talk later – to usher Alba to a chair. Alba is so ashamed of how she must have looked to El Licenciado. Bianca says that won’t be enough for Franco to stop liking her. Alba says not to be silly. Bianca counsels her to give herself an opportunity. Alba claims her life is in chaos and she wouldn’t be any good for anyone. Bianca reminds her that Love Just Arrives y Punto. Alba turns the tables on her and motions to Dante. And what about him? Alba thinks she likes him. Bianca scoffs at the notion. He’s nice, but so much younger than she is. Then what about Gael? Besides being a womanizer, he’s never gotten her very excited.

Getting to Know You

Franco is back home and joins Mauro and Ingrid after checking on Bertie. Franco wants to know why Ingrid was at the clinic. Mauro answers for her. She was there because he asked her. They’re in the process of getting acquainted. Nat arrives and goes up to see her mother. Ingrid gets ready to leave, so Mauro gives her a very showy kiss goodbye on the cheek. That FDA (that would be Family Display of Affection) reminds Franco of a conversation he and Mauro had not too long ago about mixing business with pleasure. Mauro tries to lord it over Franco, but he says as he respects Mauro’s decisions, he expects Mauro to respect his from now on. Then Julián pops up again, on the phone, to advise Franco of the (not so) permanent end to the relationship between himself and Nat.

Nat descends the stairs. Gramps goes up to see Bertie, after reassuring her that Bertie will not be re-interned. He’ll see she’s taken good care of at home. Father and daughter go have an espresso in the kitchen, although he’s the only one seen having one. They share the news of the break-up and yes, Paolo had something to do with it. Then she says she’d like her daddy to ask around his circle of friends to see if one of them could offer Paolo a job, without knowing she put him up to it.

Seltzer Cures the Blues

Bianca apparently gave Dante the advance he asked for. He’s giddy and showers Paolo, who is in bed moping, with the news. And yes, he likes her. All artists need a muse and she fits the bill. Paolo tries to tell Dante the money is all his because it is Paolo’s responsibility for the expenses, seeing as Dante doesn’t really live here. Says who, as Dante explains that like it or not, he’s been living here for quite some time and all his stuff is here, too. More horseplay.

Bedtime for Bonzo

Is it cuddling when it only involves one participant? Franco explains to Bertie that he’s moved back in the house but doesn’t intend to sleep in the matrimonial bed. She whines a bit and he gives in. She snuggles; he tolerates.

Buffed and Shiny the Bad Penny Turns Up

Next day Natalia shows up at Paolo's apartment wanting another chance, but still doesn’t tell him why she pretended to go back to Julián, just that it ended and he broke up with her. [Note to Set Design: You shouldn’t be furnishing Paolo’s apartment with the same white stuff from Bertie’s room at the clinic. This apartment needs some more wood and man-colors.] Paolo gives her a tongue lashing almost as harsh as Julián's. Nat promises that this time it’s forever, but no pinky-swear (just in case she has to go back on her word again). We’ve seen this scene before, nothing new, wash, rinse, repeat (and for heaven’s sakes, hang out to dry). All that’s left is a little joshing around over their make-up kiss. [Note to Univision: Could you defer your commercial for fresh huevos for a different time slot, porfa?] Awww. The two reunited lovebirds settle in to watch soccer re-runs.

What’s Up With the March-December Romance?

At the office, Gael and Franco laugh it up over Mauro hooking up with Ingrid. They act like a couple of old gossips. All they need is some knitting to be authentic. Franco says the only drawback to it is that Ingrid is the only one who can cause a great deal of damage to Alba’s case. Gael doesn’t think Mauro can be so easily manipulated. Well, Franco calls an end to this line of talk and hands him a list of items he’d like Gael to pick up, mostly painting stuff from a hardware store.

My (Electronic) Eyes Are On You

Franco runs into Mauro out in the hallway and tells him that Bertie is better, but who knows. Neither want a repetition of what they just went through. Franco says it would be impossible to monitor her 24-hours a day and they both know she won’t stand to have a nurse. Mauro, gently suggests security cameras in the house. Mauro says he’ll take care of the installation without Bertie ever knowing. Surprisingly, Franco agrees (and will surely regret).

Now Franco asks Mauro if his friend in the clothing business could use another employee. Paolo needs a job. Out of nowhere, Julián pops up and gets in on the conversation. Then he gets in deeper by offering to help. [Note to Franco: If Julián is scanning the want ads, Paolo will never get employment. Besides, never trust a man who seems to be wearing a very pale pink jacket which then turns light tan.] Franco and Julián retire to the infamous rooftop terrace to talk about Nat. Jules repeats the story he told Nat, but in a much more pleasant tone. He’s so disappointed. He loves her and that will never change, but knows her heart is elsewhere. He’s willing to step aside. Franco asks if that means he will no longer put pressure on her. Julián accedes to that. He earnestly says he’ll do all he can to make her happy, even though it’s not with him. [Note to acting school students: Observe carefully all gestures, mannerisms, tone of voice and facial features to see how a master of the craft interprets hypocrisy.] Franco then takes into consideration Julián suggestion that he hire Paolo for the bufete—to help out Olga, or make copies.

Missing Person Inquiry

Never mind if it is only Luciana’s sister on the phone with Bertie, who is on her rain-washed deck having coffee. She tells her not to worry, they all know how Luci is. Ingrid is present. Bertie hands her a cheque for all she did. Ingrid munificently tears it up. She claims she doesn’t need to be paid for helping a friend out of a jam. [Note to Ingrid: Bertie knows your kind. She figures you are going to make up that amount and more from 1) Mauro or 2) blackmail.] Ingrid insists she did it for Bertie, or maybe more for Mauro. They are on their way to being a “thing,” and won’t it be fun to be family? Bertie tells her not to confuse things. She negotiates with money not family. Ingrid uses Alba as bait. It’s to their benefit to be close, after all, they both hate Alba, although Ingrid has more reason to.

Red Herring or Red Hot Mama (of Alba)

Mauro joins the deck party. Ingrid runs her mouth with everything she knows about Alba. She has no family at all, her mother died years ago. She heard her mother was in love with a married man who abandoned her and never acknowledged the child. Bertie says it sounds a lot like mother like daughter. Mauro looks pensive, then asks, no one learned who the father was? Ingrid says Alba’s mother took that secret to her grave. Bertie has had enough chit chat about Alba and leaves to go rest. Mauro then asks Ingrid how did it go? How did Bertie take “their” news? Ingrid says she loved the idea.

Mauro goes upstairs to check on Bertie. It’s nearly impossible to hear the TV news anchor over their conversation. She doesn’t like seeing him with esa tipera (var. of tipa, or did I mis-hear vibora?). He tells her it’s nothing serious with Ingrid. She thinks those are just excuses. The TV breaks in with important news and Bertie’s attention is drawn to it—the body of a woman has been found abandoned in a dump. Mauro detects the change in her demeanor. Bertie turns off the TV and dismisses him.

Julieta Has Her a Baby Romeo

In a serious moment, in her car, Julieta and Gabe are having a conversation. She says they have to be careful. (Ya think?) Gabe agrees. He puts her in charge. Julieta is not saying this because she’s his mother. She cares for him and ruffles his hair like a beloved labradoodle. Which reminds her, has he seen his mother since that confrontation the other day? Since he hasn’t, she urges him to do so. She’s the only mother he will ever have. Gabe agrees and asks if she will drive him to her work. Ruh! Roh!

Soberón-Urzúa y Assoc. (Dream on Boy)

While all this is going on, Ingrid is back home “entertaining” Julián, who in turn, is satisfying his lust. Ingrid can see right through him. He’s not in love with Nat. He claims he was, once. Ingrid sees the ambitious sleaze he really is. He admits to the ambitious part. Nat is the means to attain his goal, which is to see a new name for the bufete. Ingrid corrects him, it’s still Mauro Monroy y Assoc. and will stay that way. But she rewards his forward thinking with a roll on the couch.

Afternoon Delight

What could be more fun than putting a fresh coat of paint on a little back room? Doing it with two people who can’t keep their hands off each other, but can still protest to themselves and others there’s nothing between them. Now, there is a lot of hugging, laughing, touching, looking and some painting. When Franco turns to see her work, he exclaims Ay Caray! It turns out Alba was taking art classes before Gabe was born, but then real life got in the way. He admires the landscape painting of trees on her wall and she criticizes the whitewash he’s doing on his wall. They even take a couple of selfies to memorialize the day. She’s done and takes off her painter’s coat. He turns to her and she starts to unbutton his. It’s all done with the excuse of getting physically closer and in position so a kiss can no longer be avoided, not that they want to. Franco can’t hold back any longer and at 2:59:54 EDT, Alba gives in and they go in for their first kiss. Unfortunately, at 2:59:58 EDT, Gabe opens the door and sees them in a clinch.

Monday is a long way off. Must see TV.