Abismo de pasión #82 7/5/12: I’m not crazy I’m desperate, or “Dinero is more important than DNA*”

*Thanks to Anon207 for tonight's title (from a comment way back when which I saved)

Sorry about the late post. I wrote this up earlier from watching online because I knew I would be home late tonight, then I forgot to post it. Doh! I’ll try to re-watch a few scenes now to fill in some of the conversational blanks/details that I missed. Unless they are unimportant in which case never mind. Was it just me or did this episode seem to take forever?

Repeat of the best scene ever: Don Lucio peeks at the DNA test results and lets loose with a joyful warwhoop. He knew it!! Elisa is Don Augusto’s child!

Lo Nuevo: And here we have one of the oldest and saddest conversations in the human condition...
Paloma - I can’t help feeling jealous of Elisa. I know it’s bad. (She sounds unreasonable, but she is correct.) Admit you were melting for her.
Gael - Don’t you trust me? She knows I’m with you. I was only hugging her because she needed a friend. (He sounds reasonable, but he is not telling her or himself the truth.) Elisa’s problems with her dad or more serious than just “the usual”, so ask her yourself. (Scaredy cat.)

Don Lucio is still celebrating, his heart knew the truth all along. He pooh poohs Doc’s attempts to scold him for opening the report. Doc wants to get cracking, it will take them forever in Lucio’s unbearably slow and anvily truck. Screw that, says Lucio, I’m calling Don A right now. Ruh Roh, Orange Crush answers the phone. Errrr, is Augusto there? Nope, she tries to get more info but Lucio hangs up. She glares suspiciously at the phone.

Fina’s lap dog reports to his mistress that Don Assgusto has agreed to sell his tierras. He shows her Don Assgusto’s proposal (with bank appraisal), 50% up front and 50% after the papers are signed. Gab wonders how the details are going to go down because the land will be in his name. Fina dismissively tells him to negotiate Assgusto down some more and after the deal is done they will transfer the tierras to her name and Gabino will get his fee for services.

Everybody is in Mérida today. They should have carpooled. Flor and Paolo are visiting Guido. Flor weeps about dad getting sent to the big house. Paolo pretends to care. Guido has accepted that Fina is very powerful and intends to stick it to him. For now he wants Flor to be Landucci strong. Paolo comforts Flor and rolls his eyes behind her back.

Irritating-I greets Gabino like the harpy she is. She’s heard Gabino is buying Assgusto’s tierras and thinks it with her money. Nope, the sale is funded by Alfonsina and they had no idea how much money the old bat really has. Rosendo left her swimming in dough and they can’t enjoy the half her bastard should get by rights because Irritating-I denied it. (Got paid off to deny it.)

BegoneYa visits Carmina because she needs to talk to a friend. It’s about Sabrina, she’s going out with Paolo Landucci and BegoneYa is worried because he’s such a bad man, trying to rape Elisa and all. Carmina shrewdly assures her Elisa asked for it. Boys will be boys and what’s a guy to do when a woman throws herself at him? Luckily Sabrina and Elisa are not the same. (Very true, Sabrina puts out, Elisa does not.) BegoneYa tries to look reassured.

Over at A Touch Of Glamor Sabrina is pregnant. That is to say she’s got a slight stomach ache. (So do I, but that’s because I ate too much BBQ chicken and drank too much Sangria yesterday.) Bwahahaha, she’s thinking about going to dad’s office for a check-up. Her friend warns against that, she might be pregnant. Sabrina gets dizzy and has to sit down. Cheer up Sabrina, it could be leukemia. But judging by Sabrina and her friends faces, embarazada is the more likely option.

Dam finds Padre praying, he’s been looking for Padre to tell him Mom wants him to move back home. He’s confused; on one hand he’s very resentful, on the other hand she’s the mother who raised him. (And shipped him off to Italy when he got inconvenient, I might add.)

The cemetery is another popular place today. The dirt on Estef’s simple mound has been freshly raked (so weird as noted before). Elisa finds Ramona there communing with Estef’’s spirit. Elisa is curious about what was going down with Assgusto and Ramona when she saw them there before. Ramona asks Elisa if she remembers the night her mother died? Yes perfectly, mom kissed her, said she wouldn’t be long, and instructed her not to let Tia Carmina out of her locked room. Ramona wonders why Stef locked Carmina in her room? “Duh, I dunno,” says Elisa, “it was odd but my aunt was supposed to leave on a trip, she didn’t do it because of the accident, then she married my dad. Why do you ask?” Just curiosity, gotta dash, says Ramona, once again not revealing the truth that will make the whole world tremble.

Back at Hacienda Harangue-O Paolo advises Flor to tread lightly. If they aren’t careful Fina will kick their butts out and they’ll end up in the street. I wish, whines Flor, she says Paolo is there because he wants to be but she is a prisoner. Paolo is positive that Flor will get Dam back and Fina will let Guido out of jail. “It’s not so simple,” she muses. Paolo tells Flor to be smart and go after the inheritance, she has no idea how much money Fina has. Now he’s got to go and boink Sabrina some more. Flor observes he’ll never change.

Sabrina’s friend/employee has discreetly picked up a pregnancy test and Sabrina has peed on the stick. She’s afraid to look. Oopsie, says her friend, you’re embarazada. Aye Dios mío! What is Sabrina going to do?

Horacio, in the cleanest butcher’s apron ever, is happily doing business at his carniceria. Braulio stops by to offer his congratulations and place an order for meat. (As an aside, Horacio says he can’t pay Braulio back yet, but he’s got “a deal”, i.e. anvil alert, in the works which will help pay the debt.) By the way, how’s Lolita? Oh fine, says Horacio, but she’s worried about Elisa who fought with dad and they all moved out. Turns out Elisa and Dam are kids of the same father. Brau, although surprised, takes this news unbelievably calmly. “Dude, you’ve still got the hots for my wife, verdad?”  queries Horacio. Brau tells him he’s wrong, his feelings for Lolita aren’t like that. “In that case give my regards to your wife and the meat is on the house.”  

Gah!! Qué barbaridad! Lucio’s truck has broken down as predicted. Now I’m just waiting for a jaguar or crocodile to come lunging out of the forest to gobble the Doc and Lucio up. Doc knows nothing about trucks but Lucio says he’s an expert. Fix it quickly before the animals attack!!

Carmina skulks around the house doing nothing in particular. She spies Ramona hanging out on the steps outside trying to look threatening. “Beat it,” she says, “Elisa no longer lives in my house.” Ramona reminds her “Mi Casa” was Assgusto’s and Estef’s, but never Carmina’s. Orangina scoffs at the vieja loca, but Ramona goes all oracle on her. “We all have our destiny and to us all the hour will come,” predicts Ramona. “ A todos, nos llega la hora,” she confidently repeats to Carmina’s tense and retreating backside.

Over at the habanero greenhouse, and under Gael’s jealously watchful eye, Dam tells Elisa it’s probably not convenient for him to be working there. She tells him to go home, return to the procesadora, and get back with Florencia who loves him. He suggests a goodbye hug but she refuses. Adiós y Adiós . Aaaaand, here come the waterworks.

Lucio has fixed the truck and the men weren’t eaten by wild animals, hooray! Now hurry home before anything else happens, you two crazy guys. I think these two should go on a road trip when this is all over. Oh noes, the truck dies again.

Padre finds Dam packing to go home. Dam Weepy says he and Elisa said goodbye and are going to put some distance between them. He’s going to return to work at the procesadora because it’s got big problems. Mom threw Guido in jail and Flor needs him now, as he needs her. Padre advises him not to commit any tonterías. Dam says Flor is the only one who can help him forget. He leaves to go commit tonterías .

Bill and Ted are still on the side of the road and Don Lucio doesn’t want to wait for someone to drive by. He grabs the results, instructs Doc to wait with the truck, and heads on down the road to be wild animal food or the target for a renegade driver. Where is Ramona and her burro cart when we need them?

Elisa mopes home to Don L’s and Lolita asks what’s bothering her? (Really? You have to ask?) Elisa says she and Dam just said goodbye, he can no longer work for her, and she sent him packing into Florencia’s arms. What? Lolita thinks that idea sucks, momentarily forgetting that Elisa does everything in her power to maintain or improve her victim status. Elisa says what she needs isn’t important as long as Damian is happy. (See? Told’ya. Victim.)

Over at La Fonda, whose seasoning touches, Paolo is having a No Puede Ser moment. I’ll never understand why people who don’t use protection are always so shocked that pregnancy is the result. Paolo is predictable, this news is el colmo, and la culpa is all Sabrina’s. Imagine, the daughter of a doctor not using protection! (I say disarm him right now.) She gets upset and he tells her to calm down. The sleazy lounge lizard music plays as he assures her he’s a gentleman and will marry her. Later.

Lucio ambles along the road, attempting to wave down cars with the test results. Qué bárbaro that nobody will stop for a man his age. He realizes that he has stumbled upon Stef and Rosendo’s accident site. He asks Stef and Rosendo to help him, he needs to get to La Ermita. Instant gratification! Doc T drives up in the truck. It’s working, just needed antifreeze. Hooray! Again.

Dam arrives home. Fina is mucha contenta. Damian is not.

Gabino and Useless Vicente are at the procesadora, happy that Guido is in jail. Gab is pleased that the whole world thinks Guido is a thief. Vicente flashes his dimples and cheerfully reports that he knows very well Guido isn’t a thief, but rather Gabino and Paolo set him up. Gab grabs his throat but Chente backs away. He’s not the tonto Gab thought, he read everything while he carried all those documents back and forth for Gabino and Paolo. Gab grabs Chente’s ear and drags him around, telling him to be very careful. What does Chente want? Money? Chente says no, he just wants to be better friends, cuates (best buds) in fact. Gab pats his face and says he always liked Chente. “Adiós papá,” says Chente after Gab leaves the room.

Flor walks into Paolo’s room, sees him packing, and asks what’s flipping? “Tortillas, obviously. Sheesh, I’m packing my bags. What does it look like? I’m leaving La Ermita right now.” Flor knows something is up and she wants to know what it is. He admits stupid Sabrina didn’t keep herself from getting pregnant and he’s going to leave town before the scandal breaks. Flor makes him sit and dangles the money carrot. She says she needs his help to get dad out of jail and get Dam’s inheritance. Fina is making demands that Flor provide an heir. The clinic in Mérida discovered Flor cannot have kids. She suggests taking Sabrina’s baby and passing it off as her own. Kudos to the observant commenters who suggested this plot twist.

Lolita finds Horacio at the carniceria. Sorry she’s late but her niña Elisa needed her. (Get used to this Horacio.) He says no worries, he’s got to dash to check out a big order of meat for sale for great prices from some out of town señora. Lolita says she’ll close up. Horacio leaves and the camera pans to two nasty-looking cleavers and a big honer on the counter.

Flor explains to Paolo her plan to pass off Sabrina’s baby as her own and get daddy out of jail. Paolo’s got to make Sabrina think he’s in love with her and that he wants the baby. He needs to make sure Sabrina doesn’t say anything to anyone, and before she starts showing he needs to get her out of town. After the baby is born he’s got to convince her the baby died and then give it to Flor.  Flor will figure out a way for people to think she’s pregnant. Paolo thinks (knows) she’s crazy, it will never work, nor does he want to spend nine months with la estúpida Sabrina. Fine, she says, she’ll make sure Enrique and the whole family is waiting for him in the road. Alternatively he can stay, help her, get Guido out of jail and assure his future and hers too.

Padre visits Satan’s Concubine to ask if she’s thought about their conversation last night. Is she ready to tell Augusto the truth? Orangina says she’s ready but Padre doesn’t believe her. Just to make sure he’ll wait for Don Augusto so he can speak to him personally. Don Augusto needs to hear the truth and hang the consequences! Aaaaand, right on cue, Don Augusto creeps into the house and hears Padre bellowing about this truth that has been hidden from him for all these years. “What do you need to tell me?” Padre crosses himself, asks forgiveness and begins. But Orangina interrupts, she asks Assgusto to forgive her, she lied about Elisa not being his daughter so he would forget Stef and marry her.

Just then Lucio runs into the house waving the results at Assgusto. “They show that Elisa is of your blood! Elisa is your daughter!”  Caras impactadas de Carmina y Assgusto.

Still no Catch of the Day. I really thought I was going to get Kenia surfacing.

Avances: A crucial episode! Elisa and Damian must know the truth! Dam looks drunk. Flor kisses him. Dam looks guilty.