El Talismán #96 Wed 6/13/12 The Pig Is Roasted, Toasted and Crisp But LuLu Has Found The Way

　

Well My Friend.....As one approaches the end, one begins to see life as it truly is. M. Hercule Poirot

I've rewritten a little ditty for you to sing while reading this recap. It is sung to the tune of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita. (Kind of imitating EJ over there at Abismo).

Don't cry for me El Talisman

The truth is Caray Caray never really left you

All through the mad days

We were not left unfazed

We kept our promise

To recap this *hot mess*.

Now on to the recap.

Pedro, Lucrazy, the Beltbuckle and Cameela are in the living room talking about Cameela's baby. The Beltbuckle is insisting he is happy about the baby, and Cameela says she wants a girl, named Mariana. Pedro seems to get the name right away. The Beltbuckle is so not happy with this name. He says she died, and Pedro says not only died, but murdered.

Jamie the "doc" is in alone with the Pig who is now sequestered in his bed, unable to move or speak, he can blink his eyes but that is about it. Jaime is saying, you are now truly incapacitated. The Pig is thinking maybe Doris or Valentin will figure out what Jaime did to him and help him. Jaime must be good at reading thoughts, cause he tells the Pig, noone will figure this out, so noone will be able to help you.

Lucas and Doris are having an after en flagrante little convo and Doris wants to know exactly what Lucas was hired by the Beltbuckle to do. Well since Lucas in the afterglow of the en flagrante tells Doris that the med the "doc" is giving the Pig is meant only to incapacitate the Pig, but not to kill him. He says he will marry Doris and the Pig so she can attain her very grand ambition of becoming the Duena of Altrash.

The Beltbuckle, who for some strange reason, is looking fine today, gone is the scruffiness of his habille, is telling his company that his wife Cameela is very happy with him. She is trying not to roll her eyes, and is uncomforable having his arm around her. Valentin comes in and tells the Beltbuckle the workers are talking and want to know about the Pig. The Beltbuckle's company is looking at him enquiringly and he tells them, oh, didn't I tell you? The Pig had a stroke.

Army and Angel are having a meeting in the kitchen, of their apt, and Army is worried that the Virus is going to cause problems, now that she has hit the street. Angel says we can't do anything else for her. Let it be.

The Beltbuckle tells his assembled company that "doc" is with the Pig as we speak, monitoring him. Lucrazy is suspicious and asks to speak to the Beltbuckle alone. She pulls him into the hallway, which leaves are unhappy couple Cameela and Pedro, quite alone. The first thing Lucrazy asks the Beltbuckle if he is doing something, like maybe killing Papa Pig? Lucrazy says you did all this just to get Altrash.

The workers of Altrash have assembled, Panchito, Tracy, Alberta and Val are all talking about what has happened to the Lord and Master of Altrash. Panchito is the only one that is truly concerned. Val tells them, noone can get in to see the Pig, per the orders of the new Patron, The Beltbuckle. Panchito is truly upset and wants the truth. Valentin tells them he is under orders not to speak.

Sarita and Gabe are having another meeting about are you marrying me, yes or no. Sarita is not looking like her usual perky self. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. She wants to know, if by bugging him constantly about getting married, if that is why he suddenly wants to marry her? (No actually it was that little belly dance that did it, but he isn't telling her that). He tells her now he wants to marry her, truly, and it isn't an obligation. She wants to know seriously? He says yes, seriously, (and now the annoying peacocks are screaming for all they are worth) he loves her forever. Many kisses.

Lucas has gone, and Doris is back talking to Brigette. Doris tells Brigette about what the Beltbuckle's plans are regarding the Pig and incapacitating him. She tells Brigette that Lucas will marry her and Don Pig so she can be the Duena of Altrash. Brigette tells Doris not to trust Lucas, he is very bad and he makes Doris nervous. Doris says that the Beltbuckle will not deter her from her ultimate misson. (Note to Doris: Too late honey, should have stayed at Altrash and protected your investment, jus' sayin'). Doris leaves and Lucy comes in and says she heard the whole thing.

"Doc" Jaime still in Pig sty , gets a call from Lucas. Lucas wants to know if the Pig is able to sign any papers. Jaime tells Lucas not to worry. While the "doc" is on the phone, the Pig is thinking to himself, maybe Doris or Val will get wise and save him.

Now that Pedro and Cameela, the unhappy couple, are alone, Pedro keeping his voice to a low hiss, wants to know if this baby is in fact, his baby. Cameela says yes, mi amor, the bebe is yours. Pedro grins his first big grin since Cameela left him. He is over the moon. Cameela raises her voice, to a normal tone, and asks Pedro if he wants coffee, he says no, also in a normal voice. They are trying not to get caught doing the low hiss. Cameela warns Pedro that they can't be caught hissing their little intimaticies, cause the Beltbuckle will suspect, so they kept up the inane convo. The Beltbuckle and Lucrazy come back into the room, and Cameela is on one side and Pedro on the other. Noone would ever know they have been low hissing each other. Doris comes into the room also,and wants to know what is going on here? The Beltbuckle informs her the Pig had a stroke. Doris wants to see him, like yesterday. Lucrazy or someone wants to know if it bothers The Beltbuckle that his ex wife is with his Papa Pig. They don't think it is the right thing to be done. Cameela asks after Sarita and Gabe. Lucrazy tells her they are indeed getting married, and soon her and Pedro will do the same, si mi amor? The Beltbuckle tells Pedro and Lucrazy that Altrash is in a bad way right now and something about tomorrow. Someone please fill in.

Doris goes into the Pig's sty and Jaime tells her the Pig is truly incapacitated, cannot move or speak. Doris wants him to go to the hospital, but Jaime argues with her and says it won't help him. He is truly done and stick a fork in him, he is truly roasted, toasted and crisp. I think Jaime tells her the decision for the Pig's treatment rests with the Beltbuckle. Doris tells Jaime to go. She will stay with Don Pig. Don Pig is giving her the stinkeye. He can express with his eyes and mind, but that's it. After Jaime leaves, Doris says you are marrying me, come hell or high water. She reminds Don Pig that they discussed getting married. The Pig, you are not going to beleive this, truly after Monday's recap, I can't beleive they did this to me again, but the Pig is, are you ready, ya sure, wait for it, PRAYING!!!!! I swear. He asks Dios to Ayudi Mi. Really not kidding. Now he decides to pray. Should have gone to Padre and confessed. Doris is telling him then she will be the Duena of Altrash. The Pig is thinking Maldita of Doris, The Beltbuckle is a disgraciato. Doris is saying we are so getting married. The Pig is saying to himself I'll kill you and I will have my revenge on everyone that did this to me. Lucrazy turns to Doris and asks what she is doing here. She says she is helping the Pig to look after him. Lucrazy wants alone time with her Papa Pig.

Panchito has cornered Jaime and is asking after Papa Pig. He wants to know what is being done and the condition of his Papa Pig. Jaime tells Panchito his Papa Pig had a stroke and is now incapacitated and there will be no reversal of his condition. For as long as he lives, this will be forever. Panchito is very upset. Jaime tells Panchito, his Papa Pig needs lots of rest.

Army and Angel have gone out to the Only Ice Cream Shop in Fresno and they meet up with Flor and her friend. Flo gives Army her laptop so he can contact Fabi. Angel is hinting around that he wants some alone time with Flor, so her friend leaves and they giggle at each other.

Lucrazy wants to go in to see her Papa Pig, and The Beltbuckle takes her off to the side and warns her again not to say anything. She goes to see Papa Pig and Pedro, Cameela and the Beltbuckle are now alone. The Beltbuckle wants Pedro to go, but Pedro says he will wait for Lucrazy. All of a sudden the Virus has shown up at Altrash. She comes into the room and the Beltbuckle wants to know what she is doing here? He hustles Cameela out of the room and puts her in her room. While the Beltbuckle is hustling Cameela to her room, the Virus is asking Pedro what the heck he is doing at Altrash. He lights into the Virus and tells her, it is her fault Cameela is stuck in a marriage she loathes with the Beltbuckle. She tells Pedro she would have ended up in jail, if Cameela hadn't done that, so the solution was to marry the Beltbuckle. Meanwhile the Beltbuckle is telling Cameela to stay in her room, not to come out and be exposed to the Virus. He doesn't want that indio to have any inkling the bebe is his. The Beltbuckle tells her this bastardo bebe is mine, all mine. Cameela is disgusted. Meanwhile, back in living room Pedro is telling the Virus and oh, by the way stop this fiasco, enough is enough already. He tells the Virus that Cameela is pregnant with his bebe. The Virus says, oh now I'm a grandma? Back in Cameela's bedroom, Cameela is telling the Beltbuckle to see after his Papa Pig. It isn't good just to have Doris looking after him. She tells the Beltbuckle that his Papa Pig needs more help than this "doc" is giving him and something about a year from now. And something else I didn't get, please fill in. Meanwhile back to Pedro and the Virus, she is happy to be a grandma, but Pedro warns her, that Cameela's pregnancy will be bad at Altrash. The Virus isn't fazed. This baby will be a Negrete (she is so clueless, the name has no prestige anymore and they do have money, but by the time the Beltbuckle leeches it out, there won't be anymore). They are interruped by the Beltbuckle coming back into the living room. The Beltbuckle wants to know what she is really doing at Altrash. The Virus says she came to talk to the Beltbuckle and gives him congrats on the bebe. He asks her what she *really* wants. Pedro excuses himself from this convo and goes outside. The Virus says she came to Altrash for, wait for it, not Mi Cheque, but Mi Dinero!!!!!

Lucrazy is now with Papa Pig. She approaches the bed and tells him she is sorry he is this way. She truly looks concerned. Doris is in there too. Lucrazy tells her Papa Pig he needs to get better. He is following her with his eyes. He thinks to himself he doesn't want to be this way, but maybe his daughter can help him. Noone else is attempting to help him, and everyone is an imbecile. Now Lucrazy is doing something really smart and I have to say, I didn't think she would ever do, but she tells the Pig to close his eyes if he understands her. And I think once for yes, twice for no, which he does. Now he can communicate. Doris can't beleive Lucrazy has figured this out. There was something about not permitting him to I think, please fill in. The Pig is saying to himself maldito again, and everyone there (Lucrazy and Doris) know the Beltbuckle is responsible for his condition. The Pig is thinking, no hija this guy is not my son. Doris says does Lucrazy think she is protecting the Beltbuckle? Lucrazy says she'll come back to talk to the Papa Pig again, Lucrazy leaves and Doris tells the Pig she isn't going anywhere.

Pedro is now in Val's office on a mission of his own, now that everyone at Altrash is busy, he can snoop around looking for proof of the blackmail that the Beltbuckle used against the Virus. Pedro is pulling out doors, looking in the desk, just everywhere. He sees the locked credenza but can't open it. He hears a noise and hides and it is Val and some guy. Val is showing this guy a gun and telling him what a sweet little pistola it is. They finally go, and Pedro comes out of hiding to continue his mission. He is searching some more and finds his gun, the one Val stole. Pedro wondering how his pistola wound up at Altrash. Now he wants to shoot open that cabinet. Pedro aims at the cabinet, but doesn't shoot it. He can't; he is thinking of Cami and the bebe and is afraid of what would happen if he does it.

The Virus and the Beltbuckle are now alone, continuing their convo. The Virus tells him she needs money and the Beltbuckle tells her that's her problemo. The Virus really needs the Beltbuckle to help her. She tells him he got his ultimate prize, Cameela of course, and this would be a big FAVOR for her, oh please, where is the sleepytime tea???? He tells her he'll give her money, but he isn't supporting her, evva and to leave him in paz. He also tells the Virus he doesn't want her anywhere near Cameela. Meanwhile, Cameela is in her room, praying to the Virgincita to ayudi mi. The Beltbuckle and the Virus are continuing their little convo and she tells the Beltbuckle she wants her own house, can't live with her son, his cousin or her sister. He tells her he will give her the money and wants her to leave he and Cameela in paz. He tells her this is the end of the gravy train, no more dinero. He tells her the Pig had a stroke and is completely incapacitated. She gets a sh*t eating grin on her face about that and is most amused. She thanks the Beltbuckle for the money. Lucrazy comes in the living room and the Virus tells her she is glad to be a grandma. Lucrazy is snippy with the Virus about Cameela, but the Virus tells her, she has to respect Cami now that she is married to the Beltbuckle. She also tells Lucrazy, hey now that Cami is married to that Beltbuckle of a brother of yours, the path is clear for you to marry Pedro es Mio. Lucrazy goes.

The Virus goes into the Pig Sty and sees the Pig all trussed up in his sty, all folorn looking. She mocks the Pig. She tells him Poor little you. She tells him you are nothing now.

There is a shot heard at Altrash. Cameela in her bedroom is worried about Pedro. She says oh Dios Mio and runs out of her room. It wasn't Pedro shooting his gun at the credenza, it was Val shooting that gun for his pal. The Beltbuckle comes out to see what is going on. Meanwhile Doris runs into Cami and they are wondering about that shot. Lucrazy has come out too, looking for Pedro. Pedro, meanwhile takes a quick look around the office and says Manana I will be back to find the proof.

Cameela and Doris go outside and Cameela says she was looking for the Beltbuckle to find out why there was a gunshot. Doris tells the Beltbuckle to knock it off his Papa Pig needs rest and calm, not gunshots. He tells them Val was testing a gun. Cameela wants the Beltbuckle to come back in the house. The Beltbuckle tells Cameela to get used to the guns. They all carry them at Altrash, see he even has one, and the bebe will be learning to shoot one too. Cameela is so not happy with that. The Beltbuckle stays and Cameela goes. She goes to the office and finds Pedro. She wants to know what he is doing there. He says there is so much keeping them apart, through no fault of their own, and that they love each other and nothing ever, ever will seperate them. Many passionate kisses.