Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tontas Tuesday May 12, '09 Once More Candy Shows Us Why She's Really A Pill
But here's the blow by blow. First a brief revisit to the Soledad-Raúl kissing scene. And the kisses got much better after he told her things would work out eventually with Beto because he always wanted a child. (note to guys: loving her kids is better than candy and flowers any day).
Then a less pleasant revisit to the wicked witch's puppet show. Santiago's handling it with calm; Candy is pouting and sulking. Paulina is chortling and smirking and also reminding Rocio to never admit the script was mom's idea because then Santi would run her off. Rocio agrees, but looks conflicted, poor little tyke. Patricio is feeling like Chava needs to live with him for a while. More pouting and sulking from Candy and a few "how could you's" as well. Ack.
During all this, Paulina manages to get access to Candy's computer, stashed in her big red purse, and writes a sadistic e-mail, purportedly from Marissa, claiming that Santiago's child has been adopted by a poor family, unaffectionate and who let the poor baby cry for hours and hours. These kinds of scenes make me literally ill. Pau is making Marissa look almost benign in comparison. Almost....
Once Candy and Chava are home, she attempts to mend fences by promising to be available to do homework with him every afternoon. What a goof! He says he'd much rather play soccer and so she agrees to do both. Much later in the program we have a montage of them doing all those things including several scenes of soccer with mucho Candy cleavage. Looking for that adult male audience share I guess.
Parenthood is not looking so rosy at Patricio's house. He's reaming out his dad for his affiliation with the Mafia and the danger for him, his three boys and Santiago. Arturo doesn't know why Santiago would be involved in this danger but he ends the discussion by assuring Patricio that he'll take care of it. And now you understand what a man will do to take care of his family, Arturo adds. Score one for dad.
We have a poignant little conversation twixt Santiago and Candy. She's still mewling about her problems with Chava and he's reassuring her that she's the best mom in the world. So wonderful that he can't wait to make her a mom of...er, their child! She smiles indulgently, gives him a good-bye peck and after she leaves, he hops around exclaiming how beautiful she is ..."mi vieja es lo maximo" (my old lady is just the best!). Famous last words, Santi. The anvil is about to fall.
That evening, Candy's trying to write her column on single mothers falling in love again but she just can't concentrate. Charley comes in and suggests she asks her readers for help. Great idea Charley. She nixes it at first but after he reminds her that we all have problems and all need help, her included, she's willing to admit her questions and doubts. Interesting that the teenager is showing more mature wisdom that the adult. But then, he needs help with his own problem...loving Lucia, thinking she's better off without him, but then suffering terrible jealousy when he sees her with someone else. Candy advises him to let time sort things out. Not bad advice, but not as brilliant as Charley's either.
Well, to be fair, Candy's not the only one sulking and mewling. Alicia's doing plenty herself. This lady amuses me for some reason. She's so transparent. She admits she's been nice to Patricio, understanding, seductive and even adopted a baby for God's sake....and she's getting no payback. She wants to be treated like a woman not a cleaning lady, damnit! Hardly a case of unconditional love, but at least she's upfront about it. Patricio can't give her the answer she wants. He's not ready to care for anybody but Candy. Even when Alicia reminds him Candy is in love with somebody else. Patricio needs time to heal before he could ever love anybody again...you or whomever, he adds.
And Meño? He's not ready to give Ricardo the answer he wants either. Candy and Gregoria try to butt in and give him romantic advice but he waves them off. Good move, Tio Abuelo.
Alright. Put your heads down. Yucky scene coming up. Paulina and her evil henchwoman Amanda sneak into Santiago's office to steal some prescription pads and a sample of Santi's signature. The resourceful Paulina has already located a forger who will make it all look authentic and then Amanda will present the "proof" to Candy. Amanda is quietly admiring. You know everything, Paulina, she whispers.
Switching from skullduggery to another dose of thwarted love and jealousy. Cece is throwing up more roadblocks to Soledad and Raúl's romance. Sole accuses her of being jealous. Cece phones Candy for advice. Candy agrees...it may be jealousy. Are you in love? Yes, replies Cece. (Mind you, she doesn't say with whom. could it still be Candy? Not a burning question, but a possibility nonetheless.) We break for an ad but don't get an answer afterwards. Besides, who can concentrate with all the brouhaha over that gorgeous Miami priest Padre Cutié?
I happen to have his marital advice book Ama de Verdad, Vive de Verdad, and remember thinking, whoa, with a Father Whaddawaste like that, half the women in Miami must be after him. (And evidently one of them was successful.) But that's a telenovela for another time. Back to our fictional program.
Paulina's venemous programs are bearing fruit. Amanda's dropped the forged photcopied prescriptions on Candy's desk with a "Now I hope you'll help me" exit line. Santiago's been sandbagged by his investigator telling him the ugly e-mail was sent from Candy's computer. Our lovers are dazed and confused.
Ditto for Isabella who's wandering around in a fog wondering if Zamora could actually be the longlost "Frijolito" of Jaime's past. Eventually Donato gets in on the speculation while they both stare at Jaime and Zamora clowning around outside. They're not identical ("dos gotas de agua") but it could be, Donato concedes. But then you could be Laura Flores and I could be Cesar Evora, he concludes in a reasonable imitation of Evora's husky enchanting voice. Only in telenovelas.
Alright. Our confused and troubled lovers meet in Candy's office. (Santiago took the initiative). He defends his honor and his ethics, she claims his private investigator is a waste of money coming up with her computer as the culprit, and they're both angry and disillusioned with each other. Where's the trust? Where's the love? Indeed.
Tell it to the punching bag, Santi. Except poor Lalo is holding the bag and evidently his grip isn't as firm as that of the lovely Hortensia. There's some rapid-fire spouting and punching by Santi but Lalo gets the gist. You love her. She loves you. Yes, but this misunderstanding and distrust hurts. Well, then you're free, exults Lalo. You're free! Hang up the bell again!
The mirror scene is Candy and Chayo discussing the whole mess. Chayo, speaking at the same warp speed as Santiago did, assures Candy that she knows Santi well and he's an ethical, moral, excellent doctor who would never perform the kind of surgery Amanda's accusing him of. And Lalo will back her up on this. Oh, men are like that, they cover up for each other, says Candy dismissively. And Eduardo's lied to you plenty of times anyway. (low blow, lady, low blow). Chayo doesn't fold however. Relax, think this through and make the correct evaluation. (Of course Candy doesn't. When does she ever!? Annoying.)
The last scene before another chunk of ads and some cheeky reporter asking Padre Cutié if he had sex with the woman in question, is a short one between Candy (sulking and mewling again) and Patricio. If he won't give her a divorce she'll take it to trial. Fine. Get your lawyers because I'll have mine, he retorts. I'm going to protect my son, he adds. Exit Candy.
A brief return in memory to the beach scene and lovemaking with Candy. (Did we ever decide why Santi was wearing such a dorky shirt in that scene? That shirt and the banana shirt are real losers.) Anyway, the tenderness of those memories lights up his frontal lobes (and a few other parts I'm sure) and he realizes that anybody with access to that computer could have sent the poison pen e-mail. And it's just the kind of thing Paulina would pull. He goes out to share his insight with the crew. Lalo's trying to hang up the bell again, while Hortensia and the comely assistant grab onto Santi and cop some free snuggles. You go girls! We all think you'd be a better match than Miss Candy!
Armed with that new insight, Santi tries to go see Candy (again taking the initiative) but Lulu's assigned to guard duty and won't let him pass. Instead she hands him a letter. It's a Candy copout. I love you but it's better if we don't see each other or talk for a while. My relationship with Chava is getting worse and I need to work on that.
Tell Candy I read it, says Santiago, stone-faced. And he leaves.
And now we have a shot of Mario, still wearing one of those phony drapey long ties around his neck. He gets pulled into the mobster's car. Basically mobman tells him to get out of Guadalajara pronto because if Gambino gets hold of him, he'll eventually spill the beans that he paid the bodyguard the money and then they'll both be fried. And if Mario won't leave. Well, hey, the bodyguard will kill him himself!
Now we have a little Dear Abby time with Meño. He reminds Candy that she came back from Puerto Vallarta a different woman. And no, he doesn't mean the glamorous hairdo, sexy dresses or enhanced makeup. He means that little "brillito" (glimmer) in her eye that wasn't there before. You can't fool me...I KNOW what happened there. And now you're about to lose it. Don't let Amanda spoil that for you. If you're not ready for Chava to know, then pretend it's high school again and date secretly. And what about the wedding? No answer from Candy but she does grace him with a sparkle from the eyes as he leaves the room.
Switch from there to a little granny confrontation. Gregoria arrives at Pato's house to find Margarita in a regal pose holding the baby. Gogo would like to hold that baby too. And while she's at it, she'd like to ask Margarita's forgiveness. No problem. Margarita laughs and says she was just kidding about being with Arturo. She did that to bug him. Honestly Gregoria can have him....what little there is left! (Gogo looks worried) And when Arturo comes in and sees the two huddled together he naturally assumes they're talking about him...stabbing him with puñaladas de lengua (verbal knives) but no matter. He cares for them both. Yeah, and about 5 or 6 other women, cackles Margarita, after he leaves. But go ahead, Gogo...take him if you want him. Just let me be "madrina de lazo". (sort of like our matron of honor but more complicated).
Next comes the Candy bonding again with Chava montage and then a little sermonette on mommies and daddies getting divorced. When parents' love for each other ends, they still have great tenderness for each other. (If only!) But their love for their children never ends. Hopefully reassuring, if the little moppets are watching this...but I hope they're not. Better off with Run Diego Run sez I. The scene ends with a pinkey promise that even though Candy and Patricio will live in separate houses they'll still be totally available to love, spoil and take care of Mr. Chava.
A series of quick scenes at the end. Gregoria's going nuts ("me tiene hasta la coronilla") with Santiago's numerous phone calls to the house. Which Candy won't answer, obviously. Isabella confronts Mario and tells him to leave Rocio here, even if she is his daughter, and take Paulina off to New York. Candy shows up in Santi's office with a sour look on her face (no little" brillito" in those eyes now, baby) and tries to pull off her engagement ring. She keeps tugging on it and I assume she gets it off, but honestly I couldn't actually see it. The wedding is off! And there we end.
Previews: Santiago's back at the Abandonado's clubhouse, blindfolded with a red brassiere, shaking his bootie (and very well, I might add) with a sexy hired dancer. In walks Candy with a super-sour look on her face. Run Santi run!
Vocabulary:
"yo que tu"....a short form of "If I were you"....
apodo = nickname
casualidad = a "false friend", actually means coincidence
mi vieja es lo maximo = my old woman, my girlfriend, my wife...all possible ...is the best!
me tiene hasta la coronilla = I've had it up to here
madrina de lazo = matron of honor is what the dictionary says but it's more complicated than that. Jarocha gives a good explanation
brillito = little spark
si te dijera you = literally "if I would tell you" what Candy said to Charley when he asked how it was going. A smiliar thing we might say would be "don't ask!"
dos gotas de agua = literally, two drops of water. We might say "two peas in a pod".
puñaladas de lengua = verbal stabbings...we might say verbal digs.
Dicho of the Day:
Lo que no fue en tu año, no fue en tu daño (Lit. what didn't happen in your year, doesn't hurt you.) You have no reason to feel hurt by something that happened before you met your sweetheart, spouse. Word to the wise for Candy. But will she listen?
Labels: Tontas
Anywho. I think Pato's daddy is a goner. He'll give his life for his family and this will be a lesson for Pato which will allow him to let go of the stupid, precious Candy so she can be inflicted upon the Beautiful Santi.
Khalilah
Good call on Arturo. A noble death will redeem him. And yes, the "happy ending" will no doubt be Santiago, saddled with a high-maintenance lady for the rest of his life. Suerte, Doctor Plastico!
So far, we like all the kids and think they're doing a whale of a job acting. Rocio is especially charming. And we love the interactions between Santi and his mother. And we're all rooting for Lulu to find someone worthy of her, even if it's vertically challenged Toño.
At any rate, so glad you've jumped in and joined us. We love having a fellow ranter!
Khalilah
I love how your vocabulary and dicho relate perfectly to each episode. Thanks for adding the great phrases.
Paulina's subterfuge using Candy's computer to e-mail Santi the lie that his son is alone and hurting was revolting. As you said: "These kinds of scenes make me literally ill." Ditto. Me tiene hasta la coronilla.
Paulina's mistreatment and manipulation of Ro is also terrible. Does she really think she has a chance getting Santi back? Just wonder how much further she is willing to go...
I still think Mari is worse than Pau, but unfortunately, Pau keeps going and going...
It doesn't look like Candy and Santi are going to be in a setting prompting any talk of resolving their issues tonight :) I think our little princess will put a quick end to the fun at guy's night out.
Khalilah, you may be right about Art sacrificing himself for his family.
Diana in MA
Yes, Candy looks like she'll be a real "aguafiestas" (wet blanket) tonight when it comes to the fun and games at the Abandonados. She sure can take the joy out of life...one way or another.
Is it just me, or is Chava becoming a bit less charming? He's starting to look less cute and more impish. The kid really is a good actor to make me want to give him a little swat on the butt or at least an extended time out. Rocio on the other hand is annoying in her attitude but as appealing as ever.
I was amused bt Granny Gogo's gentle telephone abuse. Kinda like I would imagine that Judy would do.
Carlos
For you ladies: how much time would you estimate Candy would have to spend on hair and makeup every day?
For Doc Carlos: does it make sense for a surgeon to risk his hands on a punching bag?
Paulina has gone from vain and annoying to an Evil Presence rivaling Sara on QE.
Carlos, it was only a matter of time before Chava started learning the grand art of manipulation. Isn't he realistically annoying?
Thanks Judy, I second Diana's nominations for favorite catch-phrases and as usual I truly enjoy your dicho of the day. I always try to find a way to use the dicho at least once during the subsequent week.
This whole story seems to be spiraling out of control.
Might as well bring Mariloca back into the mix.
Pau is so repulsive I can hardly stand to watch her scenes.
Chava is not so appealing in his spoiled brat role. Rocio is a little more likeable. I hope she spills the beans to daddy. I hate to see her being manipulated by her evil mother.
Candy, Candy I don't think you deserve Santi. Tonight should be interesting.
Have a good week Judy,
Carrie L.
I've been feeling overdue for a Candy rant (I've been feeling that with increasing frequency lately), so I guess this is a good day for it, since the bandwagon is in town.
Candy told Santi she loves him with all her heart, but other than the obligatory love on the beach scene after the proposal, what has she done to show it?
* What has she given?
* What has she sacrificed?
* When has she stood up for him?
* When has she believed in him?
* Has she ever, ever put his needs before her own?
Remember the scene on his front steps? He's shattered and needs support. He says, "My life is a disaster, Candy." Her answer? "I've decided to go back to Pat."
Normally, when the heroine is a difficult person, the hero gets through to her and gets past her walls or hurts, and he find the beautiful person inside. With Candy, I fear, when you pierce the exterior, it's just elephants all the way down.
Where to start? Mike...actually Candy probably doesn't have to spend much time on her appearance. Women get really good at gelling, crunching, blow-drying (or just letting the air dry it) while quickly swabbing on foundation, eyeliner, mascara and liptstick. Doesn't take that long. Ever watched those guys change tires super-fast on the cars at the 500/..kindA like that. Do it enough and you can whiz right through it.
Chava seems whinier lately. And Candy indulges him too much IMO (not that I haven't done the same thing I'm sure). I like Santiago's parenting style better. Heck, I like everything about Santiago better....and not just because he's a handsome guy. Candy has always seemed a hyper-gushy mother and just generally neurotic. It shouldn't have taken her 8 years to get over that wedding fiasco, no matter how horrible....again IMO>
Paula...yesssss...Candy is so rant-worthy isn't she? Reminds me of that book "Why Do Men Love Bitches?" She's physically lovely but otherise is a package straight from Narcissists R Us. In real life, I think the glow would definitely fade and ten years down the line, if not well before, Santi would be wondering why he ever married her.
As to Why Men Love Bitches...I never read the book but I'd love to know the answer. Anybody got any ideas?
Carlos
Very funny, Carlos!
I never read the book Why Men Love Bitches, but I must admit my own wife, while certainly not a b.., has a big, gregarious personality that some people criticize. However, I'm way more reserved and mellow, and we balance each other out. Years ago, before I was married, I dated an ethereal, mellow young lady, and everything was so quiet it got quite boring. It's never boring with my wife (whom I love totally!).
Paulina isn't really thinking this all through. She might break up Santi and Candy, but why would Santi EVER go back to her? And if it all comes out, I would think she's going to jail.
Same thing with Pat (not thinking it through). Is his fighting Candy for custody going to bring Candy back to him? Don't think so. Even if Candy agreed to live with him to keep Chava, she'd always hate him. Doesn't he see that?
Candy sure does have a lot of nerve, being so APPALLED at the idea of Chava living with his dad (but still visiting Candy whenever she wants, I'm sure) after she kept them apart for more than seven years.
No way does she deserve Santi. I think he should get to know the comely assistant. She's probably a lovely person.
Interesting and annoying how Candy is willing to accept some paper as proof that Santi is bad, yet Santi won't believe the worst of the woman he loves and immediately looks for another explanation.
* * *
Thanks for admiring my "restraint" vis à vis Candy Julia. LOL. I've had to use a lot in my real life so hey, it comes naturally at this point. You've got your own restraint problems on Cuidado...Marichuy, Juan Miguel and that endless list of "baddies"....Lordy, don't know how you do it...but glad you're hanging in there.
Man (as Esteve would say) you scared me there! But I AM sure your wife gives you unconditional love as well, plus all your nurses. Just accept the fact that you're unconditionally lovable.
Carlos
My dogs too are always happy to see me and love me even if I'm crabby and fuss at them.
In many ways they are a lot easier than people!
One of the best things about animals is that they can't talk back! Do you hear that kids????
Carrie L.
Bob(my husband) is her favorite....warm, sedentary body helps... but if I'm ill or recovering from surgery, she is the best "lay visitor" ever. Meows at the door as if to say, "may I come in" and then comes along side and lends her comforting presence for as long as I want. No false cheer or spiritual bromides....just loving presence.
I was giving a talk on hospital visitation once and mentioned her skills and the skills of a friend's Golden Retriever who used to pray with us when I visited her at home....and the amount of stories that generated from the audience was unreal!
Everyone had a similar comfort when ill story and they were all wonderful.
Off to work now to "consentir mis etudiantes"....
Right. And then we'll see a book called "Why Women Marry Jerks". To be followed by a scholarly treatise on "Early Mortality Amongst Jerks."
Carlos
I'd love to have a Spanish tutor period, and one would spoil me like that, pure heaven! I'm sure you deserve it all, Carlos.
Karen, great to hear from you amiga, we've missed you. Hope you'll have a little more time to check in and chime in this summer.
Candy's the most annoying for me...but that's because she's RIGHT NOW. I did plenty of complaining about Juan Querendon's Paula. But must say, both women are spectacularly beautiful and Candy will probably "live happily ever after with no. 1 galan" just like Paula did.
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