Caray, Caray!

We find things where we left them last night, Mau on the point of becoming like soft gooey candy or a hard brittle one depending upon his cracking state. Thankfully Nancy Drew and a Hardy Boy are on the case.

Over at Sermeño Group Xime and Tano are feeling each other's hearts gallop like wild horses. She thinks it's tachycardia but he says it's the joy of seeing her and he is at her service. She wants him to be her bodyguard (guardaespaldas). This is a dream come true for him and he'll guard her back and anything else she likes. He suggests he take her home and guard her but she's afraid her sex appeal is too strong (and she's right!) so she suggests a more neutral place. If we're hoping to see more of Xime tonight we're outta luck, that's it for her in this capítulo.

Back at Mau's house Oscar lays it on thick by telling Mau and the mummy they are a beautiful couple. Bleh. Coni tells Mau it's their 4th anniversary and she wants to go eat at the restaurant of their first date. Without kids. If he agrees to this bogus plan he has serious brain damage.

Aldo overhears this and reports back to Nancy Drew and the other Hardy Boy. What to do? Aldo has an idea that involves pen and paper...

Moni and Estrella are gossiping in the communal place where they live when Aldo shows up with his envelope. Estrella scolds him for visiting her, then she scolds again when she finds out he's not there to see her after all. He tells here nothing's up between him and Moni, he's just there to deliver a message from Mau. For once a TN character asks the obvious, why didn't Mau just call her on the phone? Estrella thinks a letter is mucho mas romántico, open it !!

Meanwhile Nancy Drew sneaks around the house, finds Mau's phone and texts someone.

Consti and Rolando Klunder stroll under the trees, she's trying to solicit his help in her little plot of trying to discover the secret surrounding Beto, Monita's brother. He says sure, as long as he gets something in return. He's thinking a night in his apartment; he's not talking anything romantic, just business. (Gee Romeo, who could resist that invitation?) However he's all hot to trot and Consti looks bored as heck. She says yeah sure fine, get the info I need and I'll think about it. Oh dear, she's interrupted by a text from Mau. They can't get a reservation at the restaurant so they'll meet at the same time somewhere else.

In contrast, Monita is so excited by Mau's letter she kisses it. Dinner out with her prince, how thrilling! The girls do a happy dance until Beto shows up and wonders why the party? He tells her that he spoke to that damn meatball Andy and they are to meet at the cantina at 9:00. He leaves to get a longaniza (pork sausage) taco and tells her to get ready.

Moni thinks she should call Mau and cancel but Estrella asks is she crazy? She'll go with them to the cantina and figure out a way for Moni to leave. Moni swears that tonight she will tell Mau the truth about everything. Do we believe her? Julia wondered how many days it would take for Moni to fess up; I'm thinking months here.

The beautiful song plays, the moon rises, and our lively trio goes to the cantina. Beto tries to be romantic but the girls whack him. The girls are alone briefly and Moni says she feels terrible about tricking Beto. Estrella thinks he's a jerk so that justifies things. It's 9:05 and still no sign of Andy. They fretfully surmise that Moni's poor prince is probably smelling great and already waiting for her.

Over at the office Salvador succumbs to desire; he grabs Gabi and plants a big kiss on her kisser. She's shocked, and reminds him she's no longer a free woman. He swears his love will free her, then he recites something dramatic but can't remember the end. No matter, Gabi gets the idea. "Oscar, forgive me," she sighs, before diving into Salvador's embrace.

Meatball Andy has finally arrived with his guardaespaldas. Don Cesar is there too and they are heavily into negotiations. They accuse Andy of playing dirty because he destroyed Monita's house and nearly caused Nieves to have a heart attack. The Meatball says enough talk, let's choose a date for the fight because people are saying La Monita is afraid of La Guerrera. Speak of the king of Rome, La Guerrera shows up and provokes Moni. Cesar is all "cool off you're too high class to fight in a bar". La Guerrera says when she's done with Moni not even her mother will recognize her, but wait that doesn't make sense because Moni's mom abandoned her when she was just a little brat. OK that does it. Moni cold cocks La Guerrera not once but twice and it's Estrella's chance to drag Moni out of there while Beto and the Meatball battle it out Keystone cop style.

Shoot, Mau is at the restaurant but he's talking to Consti on the phone and wondering where she is. Big confusion because they are at different restaurants but Consti figures it out, those damn brats.

Thank goodness someone is getting some action. Sal's got Gabi pinned against the wall. What he lacks in finesse he makes up for in enthusiasm. Back to the wall pinning and who should walk in but odious Oscar. He yells, he searches. Sal tells Gabi it's now or never.

Double shoot, Consti has found Mau at the restaurant. He's glum but she's digging the martinis and decides to give him a kiss...

...just as Monita walks in. Shoot shoot and triple shoot! Mau wipes off the kiss and sees Moni standing there. She starts to run but instead strides toward him. "What are you doing here?" he asks. "Did you invite me here to kiss her in front of my face?" she retorts. She shows him the letter and he says he'll kill that Aldo. She cries that he swore he would never lie to her, but he lied, he lied! (Look at the donkey talking about big ears.)

Moni leaves in a huff just as Consti shows up. Mau looks absolutely tortured. She tries to talk about tomorrow but he shuts her down, tomorrow is very complicated because he has to go get a physical (required of drivers). (Do we hear the anvils lining up? At least he's not going in for an IQ test.) Coni gives him about two seconds of sympathy, "I'll be fine", and then demands a martini.

Sal hides under the desk while Gabi fans herself and pretends to be straightening up his desk. Oscar finds his little kitty and asks her why she's in the office of that old decrepit. Wouldn't it be fun to do it on Sal's desk? Uh no, Gabi's hungry and convinces him to go out for a bite. Sal crawls out of his hidey hole and is incensed. Old? Decrepit? Grandpa?

Mau confronts Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys and the others totally throw Aldo under the bus. This is the last time they agree to any of his stupid plans. Wow, whatever happened to all for one? The Three Musketeers they ain't. Mau scolds Aldo and tells him he has to go over and straighten this mess out with Monita first thing in the morning. Aldo tells Mau he's not stupid, he knows what's going on with the judge and all. Mau kindly reassures Aldo that nobody's going to make him do something he doesn't want to do.

The next morning Moni cries to Estrella about the dirty trick that Mau played on her. They are interrupted by the annoying Beto, himself annoyed because he's going to work and Moni is calling in sick. They finally get rid of him, however he spies Aldo going into Moni's house and is very inerested.

Aldo fesses up to Moni about his stunt from the night before.

When Sal gets to work he asks Gabi about her date with Oscar, how did he take it when she broke up with him? In response Gabi asks Sal how is his wife Lorenza? Gabi informs Sal that she said nothing to Oscar, she'll not be the second dish, not her thank you very much. Go Gabi, way to work it! Sal is vexed.

Mau arrives and tells Pau he wants Moni to serve him his coffee and toast. Not gonna happen, sez Pau, Moni is indisposed because she came home last night absolutely sick about something. Now Mau is vexed. When Sal reminds him the Japanese are arriving Mau just leaves the room. Gabi comments the way the day is going it will surely rain.

Moni tells Aldo when will he get it through his head that Mau has a girlfriend. Beto sneaks up and listens outside the door. He hears them talking about the letter that she'll destroy and throw in the trash and nobody will see. The second Moni and Aldo leave Beto dashes in and pulls the pieces of paper out of the trash.

I guess Moni decided to go to work after all and today she's wearing pants, not her usual shorty skirt. She blabs to Pau in their little room but it's Mau who walks up behind her. Moni says Aldo told her everything and it's Mau's fault that the kid is so confused, in fact Mau has confused half the world. She wants to get it straight, she is his employee and nothing else. "Then come with me," he orders.

Next scene has Mau, Moni and Sal in a Japanese tea garden. Mau has brought her there to train her in the ways of the Japanese. As his assistant she has to do everything he says, massage, whatever. "You don't say, even help you with your bath?" she asks. OK, not everything. She spies a Geisha and asks why the poor thing is so pale and disguised. Mau explains she's a Geisha and is educated and trained to tend to men's needs. He means, for example, unlike some people she speaks in a low voice and brings coffee when she's asked to. Moni points out that she is spontaneous, that's why she's not a Geisha. It's time for the guys to go and Moni says to herself, "So he likes Geishas eh, why not?"

Over at Coni's pad she and Jero are plotting. They don't know where Xime is and Coni complains that last night was a bust, all Mau could talk about was his physical and the Japanese, blah blah blah. Jero tells her when she needs a night of passion she can call him. Just then Oscar shows up pleased as punch with himself. Guess where he just came from? From the doctor of the Driver's Association where he had a little transaction (bicoca). All he can say is that Coni better be with Mau tomorrow when he gets the bad news, bwahahahahaaaa!

At lunch with the Japanese Sal is eating wasabi like it was guacamole and he's paying the price. His eyes are watering and his nasal passages are in an uproar. The Japanese customers are highly amused.

A gong sounds and the Geishas enter, the Geisha at the end is slightly more animated and monkey-like than the others. Mau mutters he's going to kill her.

Beto has taped the letter together and is trying to figure out who "M" is. I's not "S" for Zorro or "Z" for Superman so who is "M"? He tells Nieves it's proof of Moni's betrayal. Beto says "M" stands for coward because he didn't sign his own name. Nieves figures it out, it's the guapo Mauricio! Beto refuses to believe it. He's going to find out who would dare send such a letter to his Moni and grab him by the neck hairs!

The Japanese love the Geishas while Mau does a slow burn and tortures his chopsticks. Sal points out their customers love it so chill out. Moni starts doing the Monkey (Coincidence? I think not.) and tells the other Geishas to follow her lead, which they do. "Uh, Mexican dance," explains Sal. The customers give the Geishas a standing ovation and Sal has to hold Mau back, promising to help him kill Moni later. She blows kisses to the customers while Mau fumes.

The dancing is over and now the Geisha Monita brings Mau his tea. With a crappy accent she asks the Señol if he would like more alloz. Ouch, that made my head hurt. Mau also has a headache. He tells her to cut it out immediately and she starts to disrobe. No wait wait wait, not in the restaurant! Oh this is just too silly, let's FF to the end. Moni asks the Señol would he like some te de tila to calm down. He orders poison for two and don't bother waiting for him.

Beto has got the other security guard named Marquitos trapped in the room and is accusing him of coming on to Moni. Pau rescues Marqui and says it was her, her name is Maria Paula. He tries to frisk her but she'll have none of that. She warns him to cut it out or she'll put his nightstick where the sun don't shine. They both look like they are about to crack up in this scene.

Lots of silent bowing between the customers and team Mau. It looks like Monita has made too big of an impression because they want to take Moni home to Japan. Uh oh, now what's she to do? She thanks them very much but she is a Geisha exclusive to the Sermeño Group. Mau corrects her, it's not necessarily true and he would be honored to offer up the prize of his collection to go to Japan. Would Mr. Miyaki like her gift-wrapped or sent by boat? The customers are intrigued and delighted. Sal and Moni are impactados.


Mañana: Mau is told he only has a short time to live. Lorenza shows up with bright pink hair. Mau asks Moni to marry him, but have they kissed yet?

Dicho of the Day:

Mira el burro hablando de orejas = That's the pot calling the kettle black (Lit. Look at the donkey talking about ears)

Labels: gancho