Caray, Caray!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Abismo de pasión #54 05/26/12: Dalisa Does La Hermita

Alternative Titles:

CNN, Fox News and a Farmer Have a Secret
Gabby Swings his Family Jewels
Vincente Keeps his Teeth

Iglesia PDA-Sanctuary 8:00 PM Punto

Yes, I will marry you, Damien! Dalisa rush into one another’s arms and begin a heavy petting session. After a while, Padre Lupe uncomfortably clears his throat. Excuse me, he says, but do you think you can molest one another outside? God frowns upon parishioners groping each other in front of the pulpit. It says so in the Bible. Trapped in a heated clinch of sexual lust and wanton frenzy, at first Dalisa do not respond to him. Damien, I swear that I will get a hose! Lupe gets their attention by making a loud noise with his hat. If the Padre had not interrupted, I’m certain that Damien would have deflowered Elisa on a nearby pew. He’s freaky like that. Anyways, Damien tells Lupe that he got all excited because Elisa had just agreed to marry him. Well, then that’s understandable, says the padre. Damien wants his uncle to marry them immediately. Lupe says no. He wants them to do things the right way and not in secret. Damien says if he won’t do it, they’ll have a civil ceremony. Dalisa leaves.

Iglesia Court Yard PDA-Dalisa Road Show

The novios walk outside hand and hand. Damien verbally lists out all of the documents they will have to have in order to marry. He punctuates each item with a kiss. Elisa wants to know how he already knows what they will need. Duh, I was going to marry Florencia last week. She doesn’t look too thrilled about that response. He gives her a couple smoochie poos. She asks him if he regrets breaking up with Florencia. No, he didn’t love her anymore. He only loves Elisa. He feels for her what he has never felt for any other woman. (Now I want to throw my bloomers at him). She feels the same way. He softly says her name, but tries to contain himself from throwing her on the grass and ravishing her in front of the church. She demands a little kiss, but little kiss isn’t part of Damien’s vocabulary. Once he tastes her lips, he has to have more. More inappropriate PDA on the church lawn. They have no shame.

Casa de Don Lucio’s

Lupe Kravitz wastes no time in spreading the wonderful news. Practically before the lovers left the church lawn (he must have ran right past them), Lupe was over at Don Lucio’s announcing that the novios were getting married immediately. He explains how that made out between the Virgin Mary and the communion table. Lupe notices that Lucio isn’t as enthusiastic about the nuptials as he could be. Lucio tells him that he supports them, but he needs time to remove all doubt that he has about them. Lupe doesn’t understand. I did what you told me to do, he says. I refused to marry them. Tell me why I refused to marry them. Don Lucio won’t tell him. I’m a priest. I’m sworn to keep confessions and secrets. The only person that can help Lupe is Dr. Whipped, says Lupe. I can’t put that kind of pressure on anyone.

Dr. Whipped’s Hotel Room

Damien apologizes for bothering the doctor at the hotel room but, they need medical clearance. With the door wide open, they discreetly announce that they are getting married in the tomorrow. The doctor explains that they will need to take a blood test in order to ensure that their blood types are compatible. If the blood types are not compatible, their children will take the really short bus to school. He writes an order and suggests a clinic in Merida. With the door still open, Damien asks Dr. Edmundo Whipped Kravitz Tovar to be discreet. He tells him not to worry. Mrs. Kravitz walks in. She wants to know what Dalisa was doing there. He says none of your business and asks what she wants. She wants to talk to him about his son, Little Enrique. He looks shocked.

Witch Mountain

Due to her extreme happiness, today, Elisa will be unable to fulfill her obligation to cry at least once per episode. During her hiatus, Paloma will temporarily assume the role of the sobbing victim.

Paloma is upset because Gael left. In my opinion, Paloma isn’t putting her heart into this task. When she’s cries, there’s no high-pitched annoying whining or histrionics. Ramona wants to know why Paloma didn’t tell her that Gael left town. Why would I tell you that? She tells her Grandmother that Gael doesn’t love her. He’s crazy for Elisa. She’s upset that she couldn’t convince him to stay in La Ermita. She would be happy just staring at him. Ramona sits nearby, nodding. Then Ramona asks her Paloma what she would do if Gael returns and hooks up with Elisa. Would she accept that? I think she says that she would accept it, but she would hate Elisa forever. Commercial.

Dr. Whipped’s Hotel Room

Dr. Whipped and Mrs. Kravitz (Begonia, his wife) discuss Little Enrique and his obsession with Florencia. Dr. Whipped says that Enrique is not a child, but a man. She’s not picking up what he’s putting down. Why does he have a set of twin beds in his room? He wants to discuss his wife’s obsession with Alfonsina. Why does she want to be like her? She tells him that Alfonsina is a good example. He tells her that she is not a good example. Alfonsina is bitter because her husband cheated on her and she lost him young. He tells his wife to stop getting all up into Alfonsina’s business and worry about her own family. I can never talk to you, she yells. He opens the door and tells her to leave. He slams the door behind her. You go Dr. Gru A Par!

Casa de Arango

Tonight, Damien’s got kisses and smiles for everyone! First he walks in and greets Tonia (who’s headlights are covered up today) with a kiss. She gives him his newspaper. His mother wants to know if he’s got any kisses for her. He does. Alfonsina smells a rat. Why are you so damn happy? No reason in particular, he says and tries to walk away. Tell me the truth Damien. Does this have anything to do with Elisa? Oh yeah! I get to see her naked on Monday! He feels uncomfortable telling his carnal thoughts about Elisa to his mother, but he does share with her that Elisa is his girlfriend. He does not want to discuss it. Alfonsina tells him that she will not argue with him; however, she will never accept that relationship. She will disinherit him if he doesn’t leave Elisa alone. He doesn’t care about her threats. He’s been mentally planning several kama sutra positions ever since his fiancé agreed to marry him. He gives her another kiss. Good night, ma.

Casa de Arango-Kitchen

Braulio and Vincente are sitting at the table. Tonia brings Braulio and Vincente a plate. Vincente is giving Braulio the stink eye. Braulio tells Tonia that Gabby offered Vincente a job as his assistant. Tonia has a Code Red San Onofre power plant meltdown. She’s yelling and screaming and pounding on the table (Italian?). You will not have anything to do with Gabby ever. The only thing he can teach you is how to be an incredibly sexy and virile thug with great abs! The reason that Gabby offered him that job was to screw with me, says Braulio. Vincente stands up and tells Braulio that he’s a nobody and anyone can tell him what to do. He doesn’t want to be like him. Vincente storms off from the table and gets away with his teeth. If I was Braulio, I would have been handcuffed in the back of the police car by now.

Casa de Castanon-Agosto’s Office

Elisa is frantically searching for her birth certificate. Lolita enters the room and asks what she’s looking for. Elisa jumps! Elisa tells Lolita that she and Damien are getting married and they need the certificate for their blood tests and marriage certificate. Elisa invites her to be a witness. Lolita is all excited for her and helps her search. Just as Lolita pulls it out of the folder, Carmina hobbles in on crutches. She is really milking that sprained ankle. I’ve seen people give birth in less time. Anyways, back to the story. She wants to know what they’re doing. They tell her that they are looking for Estefania’s property papers. Carmina does not buy it.

Casa de Don Lucio-Violation of all Possible HIPPA Rules and Regulations

Dr. Gru a Par relays to Don Lucio the events of the evening. You told me that they were getting married, but I didn’t expect them to come to my hotel. They’re getting married on Monday. I told them about the medical certificate, but Damien already knows what to do because of his engagement to Florencia. Don Lucio and Dr. Gruapar discuss the blood test. Lucio wants to ensure that the novios are not siblings. Dr. Gruapar says that he has ordered blood test and a paternity test. He’ll get the results first.

Casa de Don Lucio

Agosto rings the doorbell. He’s come over to talk to Lucio, but it’s not important. Don Lucio tells him that he might as well talk, now that he’s there. Agosto wants to know what was in Rosendo’s car on the night that he crashed with Estefania. Lucio tells him that the car only contained Rosendo’s suitcase full of clothes and nothing more. Estas seguro? Yes. Absolutely. Lucio wants to know why Agosto is asking questions like this. No reason. I just wanted to come to your house in the middle of the night and ask a cryptic question about my dead wife and her lover. See ya later.

Assessors Office and Clinic-PDA

Dalisa happily enter the assessor’s office. They are both young, in great shape, they look ecstatic and they can’t keep their hands off one another. Can I get a volunteer to hold her down while I punch her? She gives the clerk her birth certificate. He holds her while he signs the marriage certificate and they kiss. Later, at the clinic, they sit down to look at some forms. He’s written “I love you” on his folder. He switches folders. She reads it and then they kiss. She gets her blood drawn and they kiss. He stretches out his sinewy rock hard arm for his blood test and they kiss. He pretends that the pain of the needle is so great that they continue to kiss throughout his blood draw and I am getting sicker by the second. Somebody else take over this recap because I have to throw-up from all of the love.

Witch Mountain

Oh good! The phlebotomist hosed off Dalisa and managed to separate the two lovebirds from each other. Anyways, once again, Elisa is there to cheer up Paloma. Elisa asks Paloma about Gaels departure. Tearful Paloma, barely audible, tells her the Gael is gone. He didn’t tell Lupe his plans either. She wants to know if Elisa has come to know how special he is now that she’s broken up with Damien. Elisa tells Paloma that she and Damien are getting hitched. I hold my breath. I’ve got the suicide prevention line on speed dial just in case Paloma wants to jump through one of the windows. False alarm! Paloma seems genuinely happy for her friend. They hug. Oh my gosh! If you’re marrying Damien, that means Gael will be all mine! Congratulations! Elisa asks if Paloma will be her witness with Lolita. Yeppers, cuz I want to make damn sure that you are officially off the market before Gael gets back. When’s the wedding? Tomorrow. Close up of Paloma’s shocked expression. Commercial.

Casa de Don Lucio

So, Elisa has agreed to marry you? Yes, Don Lucio, says Damien. Since Don Lucio was a friend of Rosendo, Damien wants him to be a witness. Lucio looks constipated. Damien wants him to support his decision to marry Elisa. Lucio says of course, but he’s not sure. Lucio wants to know how Alfonsina reacted. Damien doesn’t care. Tomorrow’s my wedding night and I am about to go buck wild! My bad. I forgot she’s like a daughter to you. I’m not telling my mother until the deed is done and over with. Lucio wants to know why they are doing everything in secret. It’s not a secret Don Lucio. Don Lucio tells him that tomorrow is too soon and suggests sometime next week. If our parents find out about our plans to marry, they will ruin everything. Damien is getting irritated from all of the stalling. Are you for us or against us? Be upfront about it. Don Lucio assures Damien that he supports them; he just thinks that next week will be better. He tells Damien that he may not show up tomorrow because of prior business. Damien says that only death will keep him from marrying Elisa (Now I want to throw my bra at him too).

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Ingrid is searching for something. She screams out Gabby’s name. She’s not wearing the necklace.

Casa de Castanon

Carmina lets Gabby into the foyer. He knows that she went to visit Ingrid. He shows her the custom made necklace with no identifiable customized markings. She’s reaching for it, but she’s not quick enough. He tells her that it’s the necklace that she stole from her sister to keep him quiet. He calls her a thief and an adulterer. She demands the necklace. The pearls are wrapped around his hand. He tells her that if she bothers Ingrid one more time, he will give the necklace to Agosto and tell him everything. I have never in my life been so attracted to Gabby than I am right now. Gabby is almost shouting in the foyer. At that exact moment, Agosto interrupts. He wants to know how Gabby got Estefania’s pearls. Gabby tells him that he gave the necklace to the woman at the bank. Years ago your wife…. (he deliberately didn’t say which one) gave it to me for his silence. Carmina corrects him (Estefania, Estefania gave it to him)! Gabby begins again. Years ago, um…yes your wife, Estefania gave it to me for doing some favors for her and his boss (God rest his soul). Agosto wants to know where the rest of the jewelry is. Gabino doesn’t know what happened to the rest of the jewelry. Agosto wants the necklace. Gabby says no. It belongs to my woman. I’ve had this for a lot of years. I didn’t steal anything. Agosto offers to buy it. Back off, buddy! My woman is keeping the necklace, besides, you can’t afford to by this necklace back. He exits. I was wrong. Now I am more attracted to Gabby than I have ever been. There cannot possibly be a better boyfriend. Commercial.

Mexico City-Rappers Lake

Guido and Florencia are strolling along the lake in distracting Easter Egg pastel track suits. Guido should be seriously wearing a black Kango hat with gold chains, and screaming into a microphone. Anyways, Guido tells her daughter that he saw her with some guy last night. He wants to know his name. She avoids telling him that it was Enrique.

Case de Dr. Gruapar less Dr. Gruapar

Enrique hurries into the house with his luggage. He kisses his sister who is sitting at the kitchen table. He tells her about his time with Florencia in Mexico. He’s still speaking when his mother enters the room. She wants to know where he’s been. I’ve just returned from Mexico. She tells him to get out. She made it very clear that if he went to Mexico, he was not welcome back in the Casa de Gruapar (menos Dr. Gruapar). Enrique is shocked. She points to the door.

Casa de Castanon-Home office

Agosto is sitting at his desk looking bummed when Carmina hobbles in. He wants to know what happened to the rest of those jewels. She tells him not worry about the past; worry about what’s happening now. Yesterday, Elisa was in your office looking for Estefania’s field papers. She is so evil. I love her.

Restaurante PDA

Dalisa is looking at the blood test document. She says something about Damien having a rare blood type. He inherited it from his father. Damien wants to know what else they need. She lists everything that they have already accomplished. They just need the medical certificate. Damien tells her that Lucio won’t be his witness. He’ll ask Braulio if Lupe won’t do it. She says that they have one more important thing to do. She kisses him and shyly looks around to make sure no one was looking. Are you kidding me? They practically had sex in front of a priest and she’s worried about the people seeing them kiss in a restaurant? Damien wants to spend the entire day with her so time will go faster (They make me sick, but Awwwwwwhhhhh. That is so cute.). They gather all of their papers and leave the restaurant. He checks her butt out as she goes ahead of him. Commercial.

Cenote

Dalisa are sitting on a rock with their feet in the water. She doesn’t like that they have to hide like criminals. Everyone that they love knows that they are getting married: Lupe, Paloma, Lucio and Dolores. He tells her that he told his mother. You told your mother that we’re jumping the broom. Do I look dumb? No, I just told her that I’m crazy for you. She’s going to disinherit me for marrying you. Will you still love me if I’m poor? Yes, of course. She wishes Gael, her mother and Blanca could come. And my father too? She suggests that they visit the cemetery. These two are certainly sicko exhibitionists.

Restaurante Date Night

Horacio is sitting at a table drinking a cool beverage. Lolita walks in. He’s quite the half-gentleman. He stands when he sees her, but doesn’t pull out her chair. Meanwhile, Braulio and Tonia are seated at a nearby table. Tonia points out that Dolores has to be pretty desperate for a husband to be hanging out with Horacio and I kind of agree with her. Braulio wants to know why Tonia is always making little digs at Dolores. He tells her that their leaving (so much for date night). Horacio kisses Lolita’s hand. She smiles. Looks like he’ll get to carry her milk home after all.

Casa de Castanon

My boyfriend’s back and he’s back at la casa. Hey na Hey na, yeah my boyfriend’s back! Gabby returns to the Casa de Castanon. Carmina opens the door. He wants to remind her that he can take her down in a Mexico City minute. The jewelry is mine, the house is mine. Leave Gingrid alone. He kicks her crutch and lets himself out. He is a keeper. He got Ingrid a house and she doesn’t have to work. He’s sexy and extremely virile. He gets her jewelry. He kidnaps for her and he’s very protective of her. He accepts her faults and realizes that he has his own. What more can I want? Agosto hears the door close and comes into the foyer. Who were you talking to? Horacio, she says. He tells her that he’s going to the cantina. She asks him to drink alone. She doesn’t want him sleeping over at some chick’s house again. He asks where she’s going. She doesn’t know. When he opens the door, Alfonsina steps in. She does not look happy.

Cemetery-PDA Perverts

Visiting a cemetery in order to talk to dead people is a fun date? This is why I prefer to date Gabby in my dreams. Dalisa are standing over Estefania’s grave looking at the pitiful little wooden cross marker. Elisa asks Damien to tell her about his father. He was the best father in the world. He just cheated on my mother all the time and was abandoning us when he died. That’s why mother is bitter and hates the world. And your mother? How was she? I have great memories of my mother, says Elisa. Elisa bends down to touch the marker. Damien lifts her up, hugs her and kisses her. They make the sign of the cross and walk away.

Casa de Castanon-Foyer

Carmina tells Alfonsina to make the conversation quick. Agosto has to get drunk and she’s got to go boink Paolo. I came to talk to your husband, not you. Run along now, sweetie! Carmina is shocked when Agosto tells her to leave, but she excuses herself. They go into his office for the private conversation and leave the door wide open so others can hear. He tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about Elisa marrying Paolo. Alfonsina has come to discuss the situation between Elisa and Damien. Didn’t he know that they are going together? He looks confused. I’m confused too. Last week, she told him that Elisa was messing with Paolo. She tells him that she will destroy him if he can’t keep his daughter away from Damien. She even offers to buy his property so that he can take Elisa far away. He says that he would never sell his property to her. They argue over who has less control of their free, Latino and over the age of 21 children. He tells her to get the hell out of his house. Credits.

Labels: abismo

Permalink posted by Cynderella @ 10:25 AM 100 comments

Friday, May 25, 2012

El Mundo de Telemundo, Week of 5/28/12: Discuss Amongst Yourselves

A fresh page for you! Stay safe this Memorial Day weekend.

Labels: relaciones, telemundo, valiente

Permalink posted by NovelaMaven @ 10:00 PM 55 comments

Refugio Para el Amor #1-2 Thu 5/24/12 An Accident and a Death

　

We start with Galindo talking to Don Aquiles, the head honcho of this town it seems. He tells Don Aquiles that due to no water on his land, his crop has failed and he needs time to pay him back. He gives Don Aquiles the deed to his house and lands as collateral, until he can pay him back. I think he tried to sell his tractor to Don Aquiles, but the Don wanted the deed to his house and lands instead.

Meanwhile, Luciana and Ariche, daughter of Galindo and grandson of Galindo are playing with a ball the boy is batting around. It lands in some cactii and they go to get it, but there is a rattlesnake near the ball, so Luciana takes a sling shot and a rock and hits the snake and they run.

Galindo is in his field trying to get his tractor started, and it won't. Luciana and Ariche come to help him. Luciana tries to help, but it won't start. Luciana and Ariche go on the road to flag someone down to get a mechanic out there. Here comes Rogrigo and Patricio, who are brothers from Mexico City, and love to climb the mountains. Rodrigo doesn't want to stop, but Patricio talks him into it and stops the jeep. She tells them she needs a mechanic and Patricio tells her he'll make sure one comes out. Rogrigo and Patricio leave. Pat seems to like Luciana. They wait and wait for the mechanic that never comes. So Galindo, Luciana and Ariche, start walking back home and encounter, Sabina the town medicine woman/bruja, I'm thinking. She warns Galindo there are bad omens around them, and Luciana will be crying alot. Galindo tells her she's crazy and she leaves in a cloud of dust. Creepy, I must say.

Meanwhile Rodrigo and Patricio have made it to town and Patricio keeps telling Rodrigo, hey I told that girl I would send a mechanic. Well Rodrigo is like fogetta bout it. Roddy is too interested in climbing mountains. They come out of their hotel and run into, wait for it, Luciana and Ariche, and she is very pithed at them. She says they waited in that field forever for that mechanic. Patricio apologizes and blames it on his brother Roddy, who finally gets a good look at Luciana. He talks to her too, and is struck by Cupid at the same time she is. He also apologizes and she has a bag of manzanilla she crushes. Then the boys leave and Lucy and Archie are continuing home, when they run into Don Aquiles. He offers them a ride but she won't take it. She walks away, and he says "One day you will be my wife". Ugh.

Lucy and Archie go home and Paz, Lucy's Mama complains that the manzanillas are crushed. Lucy smiles and before Archie can say anything she says she dropped them on the street.Mama just shakes her head.

Rodrigo and Patricio are looking at the mountains and Rodrigo just loves to climb them. Patricio does too.

Meanwhile Don Aquiles, the jackwagon, has ordered someone to go to Galindo's field and burn it. It is burning like crazy and Galindo, Luciana and Lorenzo, Luciana's brother and Archie all run out to the field. Since there is no water they can't do anything to put it out, and the tractor is destroyed too. There is nothing left. Galindo starts to walk away, clutches his chest and falls over, having suffered a heart attack. Lorenzo runs for the doctor , while Ariche and Luciana stay with Galindo, but he is dying. He begs Luciana to forgive him, before he dies. She keeps telling him there is nothing to forgive. As he is dying he tells her to look for Rosa Torres. She doesn't know who she is. He then dies. Meanwhile Lorenzo can't get the doctor cause he is not in the office. Lorenzo goes home and tells his Mama Paz that Papa is in the field dying. Paz can't beleive it. The medicine woman/bruja is there as Galindo dies and tells Luciana now you will have many tears. She leaves in another cloud of dust.

The boys, Rodrigo and Patricio are climbing the mountain hooked together. Rodrigo is in the lead and he keeps telling Patricio to catch up. Patricio finally makes it up to his level, goes a little ahead and puts the carbiner into some loose rock, but beside it the rock is solid. He takes a couple more steps up and then falls. He is dangling by his harness and Rodrigo is screaming at him. Rodrigo is still ok, on the mountain holding on, but Patricio is motionless, hanging in mid air by his harness. The ground crew calls for assistance and a helicopter comes to take Patricio to a hospital in the capital of Chihuahua.

Mathilda, the nana of Hannah, and Hannah, the sister of Rodgrigo and Patricio are talking in the kitchen, about the boys climbing mountains. Roselena the mother of the boys and Hannah is very worried about the boys. She doesn't like all mountain climbing. Maximio,husband of Roselena and father of the boys and Hannah tells them boys will be boys and Rodrigo will make sure nothing happens to Patricio.

Maximio and Roselena have gone somewhere, and a woman corners Roselena to talk to her, and Maximio gets the call that Patricio has been injured, climbing and is in bad shape. Roselena and Maximio are going to go to the hospital as soon as they can. Rodrigo has also called Gala his girlfriend and let her know what happened.

Meanwhile in Puebla, they are readying Galindo for burial, Luciana and Paz are preparing him for it, when Luciana asks Paz who Rosa Torres is? Well Paz pretends she doesn't know who she is. Luciana leaves and Paz yells at dead Galindo, how could you tell Luciana about that woman?

Rodrigo is in the waiting room at the hospital and the doctor comes out and wants to know where Patricio's parents are. Roddy tells the doc they are on the way. The doc tells Roddy, I have to operate now, cause your brother has a broken spine, the sooner we operate the better. He give permission to start the operation. His parents finally get there and Maximio starts chewing out Roddy for letting this happen. Roselena tells Maximio to stop, but Roddy says I take full responsiblity for what happened. He tells the parents Patricio is in surgery and it will take a while.

Meanwhile back in Puebla, Lorenzo is helping his Mama to get Galindo ready for burial too, he leaves the room and Paz and Luciana wrap Galindo in a shroud of white, crying the whole time. The whole town has come to grieve over Galindo. There are some women in the corner, having a little chisme, and one of the woman tells her to keep it down. Magda, best friend of Paz has come to to help her. Don Aquiles comes in and gives his condolences to Paz and Luciana. Paz gives him coffee and he tells her he now owns the lands and the house they live in and oh, by the way, your Papa promised me I could marry you. QTH says Luciana, not really, but you can tell she wanted to say it. She tells him to Largate and never, ever come back again. He leaves, but before he goes he reminds everyone within earshot he owns the land and house. Luciana is very pithed off.

The doctor finally comes out and says Patricio survived the surgery, but the next few days will tell if he has any feeling in his legs and back. The parents are inconsolable. Max continues to blame Rodrigo, but Rodrigo tells him he will always take care of his brother. Max wants to see his son but the doctor nixes that idea. Max tries to bully his way in, but Rodrigo tells him, let Patricio rest and recover. Max is really pithed off, but finally listens.

Advances: Lots of mountain climbing, Luciana on a bus, Ariche running after a train, a mixed jumble of things.

Labels: refugio

Permalink posted by Madelaine @ 1:07 AM 31 comments

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Abismo de pasión #53 5/24/12: Old sage meets new age, believe in the Love Candle

Alternate title: Ramona fesses up, but does anyone care?

Since I won’t be home until late tonight I did the recap from watching online. The sound kept going in and out so sometimes I was guessing and sometimes I just didn’t have a clue what they were saying. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Oh crap, I forgot we ended the last episode on such a bummer. Glum Padre helps Gael out with his box and bag, then Paloma run up with her sad eyes, “You were leaving without saying goodbye to me?” “Don’t take it personally,” he says. (AAARGH! Men!) He says he wasn’t going to tell anyone. (Oh, well that makes it OK then...not!) He needs some distance from the Elisa and Damian thing. Basically, she begs him not to leave because she loves him. He looks momentarily confused, says he wishes he felt the same way about her, it would make things so much easier, pero los sentimientos no se manda (can’t command your feelings). Adios Paloma. Wow, these two have great chemistry. A little air boxing between Gael and Padre (sniff sniff, how cute), a teary-eyed Paloma, and off he goes in Lucio’s spiffy truck, leaving Padre and Paloma crying on the sidewalk.

Over at Casa Castigo, Lolita is scolding the lit love candle, saying Elisa is right, no way could it work, when suddenly Braulio sneaks in and scares the bejesús out of her. He came over with Dam and noticed the service door was open so he came in to say hi. Lolita gently snarls that Dam had better not give Elisa a hard time. On the contrary, says Brau, Dam’s come to make up, and he hopes Lolita will work with him to get those crazy kids back together. By the way, how’s it going with Horacio? Fine, she says, we’re going out tomorrow. How about Antonia? OK like always, Brau shrugs, but he’s having a hard time with Vicente. He turns to leave but can’t resist turning back to gaze longingly at her, “It was really good to see you again. Truly.” Oh he’s still got it so bad for the braided one. Lolita scolds the candle again and decides she’d better not blow it out for Dam and Elisa’s sake. Riiiiight.

Elisa visits her Padrino to tell him she and Dam are kaput, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. And no, she doesn’t want to talk about Gael either. OK, he says, how about talking about her tierras? Nope, she wants to cancel the contract. No way, he says, she already signed. He tells her she can’t mix her personal problems with work, she’s got to learn to rise above her feelings. He grabs her so they can go view her tierras. What are they going to drive? I thought Gael took his truck?

Over at Casa Chisme Enrique packs his bags, he’s heading out to the DF to find Flor. Sabrina’s in a snit, how could he do this when the parental units are having problems? Enrique says he’s got to live his life and she should do the same. Aiiii! Ice pick in ears, it’s BegoneYa and she’s not happy to hear he’s leaving. What will Alfonsina say? If he leaves don’t bother coming back. “Thanks for the 411 Mama. See ya!”

Looks like Paloma is a no-show at work; Doc Tovar is busily seeing patients and answering his own phone. Wouldn’t you know it, the office is always empty but today of all days Paloma is late. Hey, it’s just like real life! He snaps her head off when she comes in, “Look at the time!” She bursts into tears and bursts his anger balloon. “Gael left town and I love him more than my own life,” she sobs. Doc puts his arm around her (No! BegoneYa’s going to walk in!) and gives her a gentle kiss on the head. They’ll talk about it later. Whew, nobody saw.

Lucio and Elisa are at her tierras when Team Damian arrives. Lucio, Brau and Vicente head off to check out the rocks in the field. Damian apologizes for what happened yesterday. He never believed that thing about Paolo and he was just upset to see her kissing Gael. She admonishes him, “Correction, he surprised me with that kiss.” And how dare Dam be jealous, she and Gael have been best friends for many years and she loves him. She can’t forgive Dam because he always doubts her. He swears he doesn’t and he can prove it. “I want to marry you as soon as possible.” Well dang, that sure shut those heart-shaped lips of hers.

“You’re crazy, she says. “Loco for you,” he insists. He doesn’t want to live one more day without her, anyway it’s the only way to stop the gossip. If they get married his father and her mother will have to accept their relationship. (Really? Where in heck have you been for the past 52 episodes?) He says they won’t tell anyone, they’ll get married, then break the news. It won’t be hiding really, because they’ll invite only those who are on their side. He gets on his knees and she promises to think about it. He’ll be in the church at 8:00 that night. If she doesn’t show he’ll never bother her again. One more big fat kiss as the music crescendos. Oh gosh, they look so happy, but it’s way too early in the TN for these two.

Elisa excitedly tells Lucio that Damian asked her to marry him. Lucio looks like he just swallowed an anvil and we know what’s going on in his head. Could those kids really be half-siblings?

Kenia visits Padre Lupe to tell him she’s Kenia, sister of Gael. She swears that she is trustworthy. Note that the first sentence out of her mouth is a lie, she has no idea where Irritat-Ing is, hopefully she left town. The only thing Kenia knows about Gael’s dad is that he was an important guy who died a long time ago. Padre points out that Irritat-Ing only came back to La Ermita for money, and what about Kenia? For Gael, she says, he is the only family she has. II didn’t abandon her but she was never a good mother, Kenia was always envious of Gael even though he was left on the church steps. Nobody can know the shame of having the worst mother in the world, boo hoo. This chica knows how to turn on the waterworks. “Help me, Padre, to protect Gael from that woman.” Padre tells her that Gael left town. “Without me?” she gasps.

The slick urban tunes and magic letters tell us we are in the Ciudad de Mexico. Flor is shopping, or maybe just looking what with her credit card problems and all, and calling Tio Tightshirt to get the latest chisme on Dam and Elisa. He tells her to forget Dam; he’s a lost cause. “Don’t be so sure,” she perkily warns.

Alfonsina stalks in and asks to whom Paolo was talking. Is he sure it wasn't Carmina Bouvier again? The first time she called it was about Elisa, but why has she been calling since? In short, she believes he’s no longer interested in Elisa and that he and Carmina have something going on, exactly what she’s not sure. “¡Qué Bárbaro! Alfonsina, You have a big imagination. Now permiso.”

Elisa wonders why Lucio hasn’t said anything about Dam’s proposal. She wants to know what he thinks. Lucio flashbacks to Toadhead’s nasty words, that he’s sure she is the progeny of Stef and Rosendo. Lucio shakes it off and says he knows she and Dam have a lot of pressures. Marriage is very serious and is not the way to end their problems. She swears it’s different because they truly love each other. Really. “Well, you asked my opinion and that’s what I think,” he says, “I don’t agree that you and Dam should do this locura.”

Ingrid is enjoying a cup of coffee when Pop! goes the Sleazel! Yep, it’s the hobbling harlot with hideous ojos come to wreak havoc on Ingrid’s down time. She wants her necklace, the one her husband spotted in Merida. “Your husband?” asks Ingrid, “Gabino told me that guy’s wife died with Rosendo.” Orangina says yes she died, but her sister was Augusto’s first wife. Ingrid laughs, “Do tell, what kind of customs does this town have, where people marry ex-husbands of their sisters?” “Widowed,” snaps Carmina, as if that makes a difference. And it doesn’t because she demands her necklace back. “Wrong, it was your sister’s, and Gabino says you gave it to him.” Carmina grins,* (and by grins* I mean bares her white hot fangs behind slightly curled, over-glossed lips), and tells II to give it up, it belongs in the family. “Forget it,” laughs Ingrid, “this necklace, now wait for it, ES MIO!” Orangina closes in and grins*, “You don’t know me, but I promise that you’re going to remember me, y mucho!”

As the hapless harpy hobbles out she sees Kenia drive up. “What in the hell are you doing here?” she demands. Kenia says she was coming to see the woman that she and Don Augusto ran into in front of the bank. She imagines Orangina was there to see her about the necklace, sí? Orangina’s pumpkin head nearly splits in two when she hears Augusto was in Merida with Kenia. Kenia’s on a roll, she says as long as Orangina is there could she give something back to Don Augusto? She pulls the belt out of her purse, Augusto left it in her house last night and forgot to take it when he left this morning. For the first time the Naran-Ho is speechless. Then Kenia throws her purse in the front seat of her car and goes into the blue house. Que? Who would leave their purse in the front seat of a car, window open?

Kenia brushes past Irritat-Ing and says she’s come for her things. She’s amazed at how many enemies mom has made in such a short time. Her advice, you got your money, now leave town and never come back!

Augusto visits the cenote hut to accuse Ramona of taking Stef’s jewels. (Dude, really? Have you seen her wearing them around town the past 15 years? Any expensive purchases? She is living in a hovel decorated with dried weeds.) Predictably, she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He blathers that when Stef left with Rosendo she took all her jewels, when she was discovered the jewels were gone and Ramona was the first at the scene. “You’re a nut job. I’m no thief.” He doesn’t care if she has them, he just wants her to admit she took them. She says God knows she doesn’t have them, and she’s kept her mouth shut for many years. Fact is, Stef and Rosendo were returning back to La Ermita, not driving away like everyone thinks. Obtuseto says the key fact is that Stef was with Rosendo, and he stalks out of the hut.

Elisa sits on her bed enjoying her only pic of mom and Blanca. Lolita comes in and is excited to hear that Dam proposed marriage. He wants to keep it a secret for their odious parents. Lolita says matrimony is serious and shouldn’t be rushed into. Sigh, that’s what Elisa’s padrino said too. Lolita says if it’s really what Elisa wants to do she’ll help her. Besides, she can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions. (Hee, our Lolita isn’t quite the angel we like to think she is.) The only one she’s worried about it Gael, but Elisa says he already left.

Poor Padre wanders around the lonely rectory holding Gael’s baseball gloves. Awww. Lucio comes to visit, he says Padre must feel very alone, empty, he knows how he feels. Padre says it hurts even more than when Fina sent Dam away as a child. Speaking of Dam, Lucio needs to ask Padre something very important. And then the sound went out and I missed the last part.

It’s night, and over at Hacienda Harangue-Oh Fina catches Dam trying to slip out of the house. She wants to talk. Remember when she and dad used to fight about Estefania Bouvier? The only difference is that now she and he are fighting about her daughter. (Lady, do you know how creepy that sounds? Listen to yourself.) Dam sighs, he won’t tolerate her being critical of Elisa. Fina presses on, can’t he remember the sadness they felt when Rosendo abandoned them for Elisa’s mom? Aaaand...here come the waterworks. The botoxed brow tries its hardest to furrow. Dam says she’s got to understand that neither he nor Elisa are at fault for what happened, and the sooner she gets that through her head easier it will be for all of them. Right. Like that’s ever gonna happen.

Gabino (giving us just a split-second ab shot, don’t blink) comes home to the love shack. Ingrid tells him she had a little visit from the Orange Push-up who wanted her sister’s necklace. He grunts and goes all crazy eyes while Irritat-Ing whines what are they going to do, because she doesn’t want that woman setting foot in this house. He’s on board with that. I think he says maybe they’ll return the necklace and get an even better one for Ingrid. Not sure.

The Brown Recluse sits in wait for her cuckolded cohabitant. “Where were you?” she demands. Assgusto says he was at the curandera’s demanding to know what happened to Stef’s jewels. Ramona told him that the night of the accident Stef and Ros were returning, not leaving. Orangina poohs and shrugs, why all of a sudden reveal that fact? The key point is that Stef was doing it with Disgusto’s best friend Rosendo. So why don’t they stop obsessing about the past and concentrate on the present? She’s got him in her web so she pulls out the belt buckle. “Why don’t you tell me what in the hell you were doing spending the night at Kenia’s? Here is your damned belt!” He tries to explain the circumstances but she shrieks does he think she’s stupid? (A rousing YES! from viewerville.) He tells her ya basta with the tonterías, he’s going to bed.

Flor is at the awesome DF restaurant with the night fountain view. Enrique joins her and she says she was glad to get his call and to hear he’s in town. He gazes at her all puppy dog eyes. He knows she was really mad at him last time he saw her when Dan caught them kissing under his nose. She says Dam was important to her, they were supposed to get married, but it was a mistake. He tells her she knows how he feels about her. Is there any chance? She thinks that would be difficult and might be too big a sacrifice for him. He insists and lays a big one on her. Props to Enrique for going after what he wants, but I don’t see this going well for him, at least in the short run.

The church is lit and Damian goes inside. He takes a seat and prays. Padre comes in and Dam says he was waiting for Elisa but clearly she’s not going to show. But wait! That familiar and beautiful mariachi music tells us otherwise. Yep, there she is at the back. “Yes, I’ll marry you,” she says. Dam can’t believe it and they kiss while Padre watches, sighing and smiling.

Avances: Later with these. Sometimes the online previews give too much away.But it I have it on good authority that Dam Fine and Elisa get more than one day of ignorant bliss, bless their clueless little hearts.

Labels: abismo

Permalink posted by Cap'n Sylvia Sharkbait @ 9:00 PM 52 comments

El Talismán #82 Thu 5/24/12 The Creeping Boda From the Black Lagoon

“Yes, marriage means commitment. But so does insanity.” (Author Unknown)

El Alcatraz:

Well, we’ve all been expecting the most dysfunctional wedding ever, and the Negretes don’t disappoint. First the two major shareholders square off over which one will get to keep his squeeze at the ranch: the Pig says Camila’s got to go, and Tony says it should be Doris. As usual, they’re all hat and no cows and nothing gets resolved. I think they should just let the girls fight it out.

Angel tries to cozy up to Flor, but after four months of simpering she’s picked today to grow some avocados and marches over to bitch Camila out. I hate you! You ruined my life! Everything is your fault! (Are we sure she’s not related to Elvira?) Meanwhile Tracy and Alberta wring their hands in the kitchen about Camila sacrificing herself like a Christmas turkey, and the Pig tells the Piglet to keep the fake doctor on ice in case there’s a problem.

Bachelor Orfanato:

Mariana and Pedro continue discussing her unsatisfactory interview with Camila. I know you two love each other, she insists; why aren’t you trying harder to fix this? Well, if she loves me so much, why won’t she confide in me? Mariana doesn’t know. Pedro gripes that nobody knows anything, nobody understands anything, least of all him. (That’s pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?) Suddenly Mariana gets that “I See Dead People” look again – little does she know that this time she really IS seeing dead people, as Lucrazy-in-disguise ducks around the corner of the garage.

Mariana shakes off the specter and changes the subject. Pedro tells her more about her past and what a nice guy her Dad was, and she admits she’s having a hard time remembering to see him as “just a brother.” Finally she takes her leave – or at least tries to. Out by her car she’s ambushed by the Undead One, who tells her to stay away from Pedro, smacks her bloody, and rabbits off in her high heels.

Mariana staggers back to the patio and tells Pedro what just happened. He pronounces himself baffled – the only demented chick he knows is Lucrezia, and she’s dead. Now Mariana thinks she’s starting to lose her mind (again.) Better lock up the baby clothes.

Maison Brigitte:

Doris is going on and on about la estúpida de Camila, and Brigitte points out that ship has sailed and she’d better just concentrate on the Pig. “What if he dumps me?” Doris frets. Brigitte says don’t be silly, he’s crazy for you. Then Doris tells her another woman has appeared on the scene…someone from his past who’s a tiger in bed and a real threat…Elvira! (Brigitte doesn’t seem as surprised at this characterization as I am. Maybe she has a beanie on under her hairdo.)

Back at the 'Traz:

The guests are milling around the sala while Tony menaces Camila out on the porch. Elvira recognizes the fake doc at the hors d’oeuvres table but doesn’t have time for more than a vague threat before they’re called to order for the big, festive paper-signing ceremony thing. Tony dispatches his document with typical surliness, and it’s Camila’s turn. She picks up the pen and…faints dead away. Doctor! Is there a doctor in the house?

Around town:

Pedro finds out from Mariana that Manuel’s lost love is Camila’s aunt and says, “The world is a head-scarf.” For realz.
Several people make foreshadowing-type remarks about how Manuel & María had better watch out for Elvira, coz she’s trouble.
Reny, Rita & the fake doc bicker over small piles of chantaje-change.
The Pig muses out loud about how cute Elvira is. (I don't know where he's keeping his beanie, but there must be one.)
Lucrazy has a hissy-fit coz she doesn’t have anybody to play with and trashes her cabana.
Tracy & Alberta send Valentín to the far, far corner of the property to gather herbs. (Hey, I don’t write this stuff; I just report it.)

Avances:

Camila finally signs the fateful contract, and Antonio tries to collect…in the bedroom.

Labels: Talisman

Permalink posted by Anonymous @ 7:39 PM 30 comments

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

El Talismán #81 Wed 5/23/12 Cameela Lies, Cries and Confesses All to Padre

　

What good are many friends, mon ami, when you have one bad enemy? M. Hercule Poirot

Today on El Talisman:

Pedro, Cameela, the Gasbag and Tonio are still talking about Cameela marrying Tonio. Cameela wants to talk to Pedro, alone out in the hall. Pedro and Cameela leave together. The Gasbag is left with Tonio, when, guess what happens? Anyone!!!!! You won't beleive it, but Lucrazy is calling The Beltbuckle on his cell phone. He doesn't answer it and the Gasbag happens to look at the phone and says, wait for it, it is really good, Isn't that Lucrazy? How could it be Lucrazy if she is dead??? HUMMMMM. The Beltbuckle blows the Gasbag off and tells her it isn't Lucrazy they recycle cells phones at Alcatrash to save money. Naw, he really didn't say that, but he wanted to. (Note to the Beltbuckle, really dude, you couldn't have gotten her a burner phone, untraceable to boot, for the one bad enemy you are truly estupido, jus' sayin'). He changes the subject on the Gasbag and warns her if Cameela rats him out to Pedro he will make sure the Gasbag ends up in la carcel (Thanks Blue Lass and Rosemary la Otra). Lucrazy is calling him back again, being very frustrated cause he won't answer the blasted phone, he picks it up and tells The Gasbag it is a call from the ranch. He picks it up and says wadda want GUSTAVO, really dude. Lucrazy tells him to get his asshatedness back to Alcatrash and by the way it is VERY URGENT. He tells her he will get there when he gets there, GUSTAVO. She hangs up and is pithed so badly she throws the cell phone. (Ed note: I just have to say the only actor that can throw a cell phone is Sergio Sendel, he is the master of those, ask the prop people at Uni, jus' sayin'). Tonio is wondering what is taking the indio so long.

Cameela and Pedro are in the hallway of the apartment building and Pedro is begging Cameela, why are you marrying this guy, I know you don't love him, you love me, right, RIGHT! (Note to Cameela, aw come on now, he so knows that dog don't hunt, just fess up already). She keeps insisting she has mysteriously (I added that for effect) fallen for the Beltbuckle and nothin' and noone is changing her mind. Got it? She asks him to forgive her. (Note to Cameela: Are you SERIOUS, come on now. Fess up already would you forgive Pedro if he did this to you? Jus' sayin'). She asks him to vette and leave her in pax. He goes. She cries. After he leaves, she goes back inside and the Beltbuckle wants to know what she said. She tells the Belbuckle she told Pedro what he wanted her to. Cameela tells her *blessed* Mama, er, the Gasbag that it is all your fault. Oh, The Gasbag is laying on the guacamole. Oh, the Beltbuckle lurrrves you. (Note to Cameela, go to El Capitan and fess up already, you don't have to go thru this agony, jus' sayin'). Cameela cries. The Virus to end all Viruses tells Cameela to calm down. The Beltbuckle tries to get close to her, and she reaches up to slap him, but he stays that arm and tells her he is her future (say what? You soooo don't get it dude. She hates your guts jus' sayin'. Sleep with one eye open. You may have no avacadoes when you wake up in the morning. Member I gave you fair warning.). Oh, and the Beltbuckle tells her, now are you ready for this, our wedding night will be sooo wonderful. (Note to Beltbuckle: You sure bout that dude? I thought I heard Cameela talking about Supergluing a part of your anatomy, jus' sayin').

Army and Angel are still at the cafe and Army tells Angel he has found a job. I guess it's not a great job, but Army doesn't care, as long as he gets enough money together, he can go to Canada and be with his amor di mi vida, Fabi.

Tracy, Alberta and Flor are all in the kitchen talking about the upcoming wedding. Flor is really pithed off, she blames Cami for everything including her dear sister's banishment to Canada. (Note to Flor: Canada is beautiful, get a job, save the money and go be there with her, you'll love it). No matter how many times Alberta and Tracy try to tell Flor that Cameela is a wonderful person, she is so not buying it. Doris comes into this little convo as does Valentin. He tells the assembled ladies that the wedding is tomorrow. About this time the Beltbuckle, Prince of Darkness, has come into the room and informs them the wedding is tomorrow, that's right, tomorrow, like don't ever forget it! The Prince of Darkness tells Flor she better be there, and Doris better be gone. She gets in his face and tells him SHE will be the Duena of ESA CASA. Flor, the one with the avacadoes, doncha know, gets in the Prince of Darkness' face. He looks like he is about to slap her, but gently touches her face and reminds her she will RESPECT Cameela. The Prince of Darkness has left, along with the smell of sulpher, and Doris gives her a big ole hug. Doris has left and now Alberta and Tracy are setting up the wedding from hell and Flor is still pithed off at Cameela. Flor says she hates Cameela with every ounce of her being. Tracy tells her that Cameela is a victim, same as Flor. Flor wants to know the chisme on that, but Tracy tells her that is all she needs to know.

Pigorio and Valentin are having a little meeting. Pigorio tells him he saw Mariana, and wait for it, same old, same old, kill her like yesterday. Valentin is so not down with that. Pig tells him he will never have pax until she is dead, punto.

Mariana has come to the hospital to visit Manuel, and interrupts Maria and Manuel. Mariana apologizes, but Manuel tells her it is ok. I think Mariana did an end run around the receptionist, but Manuel said it was ok, if she came in. Manuel has to go somewhere, and Maria stays with Mariana. Mariana thanks Maria for giving Manuel a second chance.

Pedro is all alone, poor fella, and thought bubbles about Cameela being in love with Tonio. (Now Dude you are supposed to be the galan here, didn't all those tears hold a big clue for you?). He just doesn't beleive it.

Tonio has made it back to Alcatrash to the little cabana housing his looney tunes sister, and she is in a dither about Mariana of all people. She is just now realizing that other women, besides HERSELF, mind you, might be interested in her hunk of man. He tells Lulu to callete, don't talk and he is marrying Cameela tomorrow. Yes, he is really doing it. She congrats him and is over the moon, but what about her and PEDRO ES MIO? She tells the Beltbuckle she is sooo in lurrrrve with PEDRO ES MIO. Your getting Cameela, so why can't I get Pedro es Mio? He tells her, your upset (Note to Beltbuckle: Ya think?) Your sooo obessed with Pedro. (Note to both: really you are both obsessed.) She says she will be marrying Pedro es Mio so there! Lulu wants to know what Papa Pig thinks of all this? The Beltbuckle doesn' t care what he thinks. He tells her he told Doris not to give Cameela trouble. The Prince of Darkness has a meet, after leaving the cabana from hell, to meet Dr. Doh-mo (Thanks Rosemary la Otra). Evidently Dr. Doh-mo has fixed the pills and inserted the new poison. The Prince of Darkness can't wait for his Papa Diablo to die a slow suffering death for what he has had to deal with all these years.

Mariana has come back to El Tal and Pedro tells her it is absurd, doncha know, that his Cameela es MIO, is going to marry that asshat Beltbuckle. She has no words. Pedro tells Mariana that Cameela wouldn't tell him a thing, but he is sure the Beltbuckle is holding something over Cameela, ya think! Mariana insists that Cameela does love him. He is sooo confused.

El Virus, Cameela, Army, Angel and Maria are gathered together to mourn the loss of Cameela's brains, and her avacadoes. El Virus is telling Cameela I'm your Mama. (Note to the Virus: I hope you roast for all your evil deeds. The anvil that crashes on you can't be big enough). Cameela cries. Tia Maria and her primo Angel, and her brother Army all tell her not to marry the asshat already., but Cameela is towing the sad, party line and says she just has to, and that will be the end of the subject, cause she is pleading the 5th. (Not really but the same thing). Padre has come to the Virus infected apartmento to see Cameela. She doesn't want to talk, but Padre tells her you have some serious 'splaining to do. She and the Padre go off to have their serious convo, and Army, Angel, and Maria gang up on the Virus and tell her this is all YOUR fault. You are making your poor daughter Cameela suffer over your own misdeeds. The Virus looks like she is getting ready to blow, but doesn't quite get there. Instead we are treated to a *slight marmot screech*. The Virus asks Maria if she is coming to the wedding?. Maria tells her not on your life. It's horrible what you are doing, and you are ruining your daughter's life.

Padre has taken Cameela to a, wait for it, perfect setting by the way, to a church. Yay, Padre, she will have to tell the truth here, or go to the you know! She tells Padre, oh, Padre, please understand I have to marry that Beltbuckle, the Prince of Darkness. Padre wants to know her secret. He knows she is holding something back. He tells her secrets are not mountains, good one Padre. She still won't rat out the Prince of Darkness. Finally, finally Padre has worn her down. She will only tell him with confession (Note to Cameela: How could you? Now you know he can never, ever say anything). So he tells her, as you wish, and she unloads everything on the Padre, every last detail. (Ed note: You can actually confess in front of a priest now, no confessional booth necessary as long as you let them know you want the sacrament of confession). She tells him it would be bad for Pedro and her *sainted* Mama if she doesn't go thru with this wedding. The Padre can't beleive it. This is just horrific to him. He tells her she is ruining her life, all for the Prince of Darkness, but Cameela tells the Padre she could never forgive herself if her *sainted* Mama went to prison. (Note to Cameela: Stop feeling guilty, just 'memeber about the superglue, if you go thru with this, jus' sayin'). Padre tells her she is ruining her life, ya think? She says she feels bad doing this to Pedro. Padre tells her she needs to tell Pedro the truth and stop pleading the 5th. She says she won't. Padre also wanted her to go to the policia to rat out the Prince of Darkness, but she wouldn't go.

Pigorio and Panchito are in the office at Alcatrash and Pigorio asks if Cameela is really marrying the Prince of Darkness tomorrow? Panchito says oh yes.

Cameela is all alone in her room, thinking of Pedro and that *hawt* night in LA and then the Prince of Darkness, threatening her. She prays, Oh Dios Mio, ayuda mi. Just then there is a knock on the door. The Virus opens it and it is Mariana come to call on Cameela. Of course the Virus thinks she is there about what else, on the count of three, *El Cheque es Mio of course, but Mariana looks at her like, have you lost your mind? and says I have come to talk to Cameela. Of course, the Virus tries to dissuade her, but Cameela comes out of her room and tells the Virus she will speak to Mariana. Mariana tells Cameela that Pedro is very upset, and she wants to know why Cameela is marrying the Prince of Darkness, when just a while ago she interrupted Cameela's wedding to Pedro? The whole convo is about WHY? Cameela tells her now Mariana will have a second chance with Pedro. Cameela says I am marrying the Prince of Darkness, ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies. Not really but essentially that is how the convo went. She won't spill the frijoles to Mariana. She tells Mariana you just don't understand, ask me no more. Mariana says she doesn't want Pedro to suffer, and she knows darn well that Cameela is so not in love with the Prince of Darkness. Cameela tells her, she isn't saying anything else. Mariana really wants to know why Cameela would marry someone she doesn't love? Cameela tells her to vette, she says now is your chance with Pedro. Mariana leaves, and Cameela cries.

Now we have Papa Pig and his sluttily dressed ex-daugher-in-law having a little powwow in the bedroom. He tells Doris nothing will ever seperate me from you. You are ES MIO. He tells her she won't leave Alcatrash. He asks for his pills. (Note to Doris: Don't touch that bottle) She brings the pills to the Pig. She gives him smoochies, yuck (Note to Doris, do you have enough Listerine? Jus' sayin"), He tells Doris he is sooo happy with her. She knows Cameela is coming to live at Alcatrash. Doris tells him she is upset, because of Cameela and the Prince of Darkness her fabby Fabi is in Canada.

Maria has gone back to the hospital and consults with Manuel. She is soo upset her poor neice has to marry the Prince of Darkness. Manuel says that Cameela really should go to the police and fess up. Maria says she won't because she doesn't want to hurt her *sainted* mother. Oh, please already. Maria says she has to respect her neice's wishes. Manuel says it is a heavy cross to bear.

Cameela, Army and Angel are having a last supper together. Cameela tells them not to worry about her. Then guess who calls, of course, it is the Prince of Darkness, just wanting to touch base, so to speak. He tells her along with the Virus, the boys can come to the wedding too. Oh Yay.

It is the day of doom, the apocalypse for Cameela so to speak. She is with the Virus, Army and Angel. Cameela is in a wonderful, sparkley, white dress, her wedding gown, sans veil. She is looking lovely. Virus tells her the Prince of Darkness is a wonderful guy (Oh please where is the anvil for this virus). What a wonderful wedding it will be. Cameela gives her the death ray, and tells her, this is no, wait for it, wedding, its a funeral! (Note to Cameela, maybe someone will stand up at the wedding when they say if anyone has a reason why these two shouldn't be married. I wish you best of luck).

Valentin comes in to give congrats to the Prince of Darkness. The Prince of Darkness tells him this must be the PERFECT wedding. Papa Diablo comes in to give congrats to the Prince of Darkness and wants to shake his hand. The Prince of Darkness won't do it. Papa Diablo tells his Prince of Darkness that you marry, you leave Alcatrash!

All of El Tal has gotten together and talked endlessly about how could Camella do this to our Pedro, some using power tools, and the Padre was in the mix too, but without a power tool. Oh, and Santiago has been freed from the social services, Liliana has a heart after all, and Padre is the one that got him out. He is very happy to be with Pedro again, and also can't beleive that Cameela is with the Prince of Darkness.

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Wedding from Hell Begins. Will it go through? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Labels: Talisman

Permalink posted by Madelaine @ 11:53 PM 34 comments

Una Familia Con Suerte #264 Wed 5/23/12 FINALE!!!!!

I took over from Ez as the last hour rolled around. I gotta say, I really liked this telenovela until they started cramming ten hours a week down our throats. I think it was disrespectful to the show and to the viewers. Anyway here goes!

Pina and Sebas, post-wedding, feeding each other. Is it cake? Ez thinks it's ravioli. Not very effective food porn, not appetizing in slow motion. Ez thinks Pina dropped her spit-covered straberry back on her plate.

Phew, it's the next day, Tomas and Lupita are back in the chapel. Lupe is going to confess something... Since Tomas hasn't had sex with her he just says he hopes she isn't pregnant - BUT HE'LL SUPPORT HER NO MATTER WHAT. Hah, hah, she just wants to confess looovvvve. FF>

It's the fifth or sixth night of the full moon, but of course as we know there is always a full moon in Mexico. Usually I skip all the scenes with the babies but they're getting baptised so I watch. Pancho tells a joke about baptism but I was talking so I missed it. Was it funny?

Who is that kissing Adoracion at the baptism? Pascualito? He says he'll marry Adoracion and make her happy. The mama approves.

Pepe makes an adorable speech about llloooove to his preggers Sirena.

Ezra will attest that I predicted this next scene last night. Vince and his newly-adopted dog and incredibly bushy beard walk along the highway. He remembers all the love that's been offered to him over the years and cries. Pancho leaves the baptism to go fetch Don Octavio. I predicted that Vince would end up on the very same bridge Dona Fer was going to jump off at the beginning of this novela. I predicted this yesterday!!! There he is! Reviewing mentally all his disgraces. And there's Pancho, out of his lurid blue advertising-mobile, staring up at Vince on the railing! Commercial!

Pancho tries to talk him down. Even though Vince tried to kill him, he doesn't hate him. Pancho says it's alcohol that's been the problem. Vince says it's alcohol that takes away the pain of a mediocre life. "I lost my dignity and my only son. I don't want to start again. I'm tired of living."

Pancho's phone rings, it's Rebeca, but he doesn't answer. Now here comes the priest and Pancho isnt here! And here comes Candy in the nun-mobile with all her new sisters.

Back to the bridge. "Let's talk as we've never talked, like cousins. I know you have goodness in your heart. And Freddy needs you." "He said I don't deserve his love. It's true. I tried to destroy everyone. I want you to know I've always envied you. You had no advantages but you were always in a good humor, intelligent, you have an incredible family. I can't enjoy life the way you do. I've lost too much." "Iracheta, I lost my wife when Temo was born, my parents died, Dona Fer died, but no matter, we need to go forward. Don't you want to see your grandchildren running all over the place? You can be near your son." "I want to die! But before I die I want to ask your pardon." Vince drops. Commercial.

Vince, what a aguafiesta! First he wrecks Pina's wedding, then he wrecks this boring baptism. What a diva, what a drama queen.

Back to the baptism. Pancho and Don Octavio show up at the last minute, the impatient priest says we can begin, Pancho says no we can't. "Can we have one more godfather?" And here's Vince? All cleaned up and showered and in a brand new suit after he just fell off the bridge? And sober? That was very very quick!

Boring baptism accompanied by Candy and her nun friends singing a flaccid pop song. Candy and the new improved Vince make goony eyes at each other.

It turns out that, just like with Fer, as Vince plumged to his death Pancho grabbed his hand at the last minute. But dangling there, Vince still wasn't convinced. "Cousin! Freddy doesn't deserve the sadness he'll feel. Do it for Pollis!" Finally Vince agrees not to die and lets himself be pulled up. The two of them sit exhausted on the bridge. Pancho invited him to the baptism but after a shower: "You smell bad, like sulphur and an apache calzone." ??

Candy is about to get into the nunmobile to go back to the convent but Vince runs after her. Her friend says "don't flee happiness" and the van leaves without her. Vince says: "Your brother saved my life. They both pardoned me. You look like a virgin. Do you forgive me too?" Yes she does. He asks if they could try again. She takes off her wimple. They kiss. "Let's go, anywhere you want!" Candy, noooooooo!!!

As they hug he feels a prick - it's one of Violeta's poison rings. But he doesn't die. Then Octavio says he wants to live with them all despite his Alzheimer's. Huge bear hug.

Back home, Chela is crying. Enzo asks why. Personally I think she's overstimulated and needs a nap. She says they're tears of happiness. Then the cast gets on stage before a crowd of regular Mexicans and we hear the theme song one last time. FF> and out!

Labels: familia

Permalink posted by melinama @ 10:27 PM 28 comments

Una Familia Con Suerte #263 Wed 5/23/12 Oh yeah, some stuff happened.

Well friends, here we are! The final episode begins with a tiresome hour of replays, which I did not feel guilty about skipping.

Violenta preps her goons for a little home invasion. They get the drop on the Lopez' police detail, tie them up with cheap packing tape and proceed to crash the Lopez family gathering. When they get in, they tie up the maid with the same tape, and Violeta has her men collect everyone's phones. Pancho is funny when it's turn - he just pulls one crumpled kleenex after another out of his pocket!

Wicked-Schizo-Amazon-Barbie wants Pancho to decide which Lopez will die first. But before this evil scheme can play itself out, she hears one of the upstairs babies on the monitor... She threatens everyone, leaves the rest of the family downstairs with Samuel (Flunkie #1), and takes Rebe and Flunkie #2 upstairs to the nursery. She seizes the nearest baby and begins to shake it menacingly, but she has a moment of doubt snaps back into only-slightly-crazy Amazon Barbie... the two barbies struggle inside her head, and Rebe gets the baby back. Then bad-mamazon comes back and grabs the other baby.

Downstairs, Ana tries to bribe the mercenaries, buying the boys enough time to punch them into submission. They all grab guns and rush upstairs, sneaking around like secret agents or something. Pancho sneaks into the nursery and disarms the last guard. Then he kicks the gun away, but it goes off! That's what he gets for trying to act like Bond. Violenta inches towards the window and raises the baby girl. Amusingly, she doesn't actually get the baby to the window. She's holding the baby 5 feet up (maybe more, given those heels) and everyone is terrified. Monica gets in a tearful plea, from one "mother to another," telling her that time in Paris was unforgettable(yeah, getting a bad hairdo while your mom buys poison, what great time that must have been!). Nonetheless, Violeta gives up the baby and hugs her daughter.

Tomas leads a team of cops to the casa Lopez (it seems like he's in charge of absolutely everything the police do...), and arrests Violeta, who is cradling an imaginary baby. Tomas says she had seduced a French scientist to get the poison, and now she will spend the rest of her days locked up. She says "I doubt it, siempre salgo con lo mio." And poisons herself.

Enzo is much relieved to hear his health is better, and we get another PSA about eating less fat. Enzo gets the doctor to say that sex is perfectly OK. Chela is embarrassed. Hahaha. In the bedroom, Chela looks a little nervous as Enzo swings on a vine in a loincloth and beats his chest.

Arnold "baby" gets into Ray's car for their date. Basically, the story is that he's confused. I'll say! Going from closeted-sex (tee-hee) with Barbs to a dude with a purple silk scarf around his neck in just a few short episodes... Then he is treated to a weird and awful karaoke serenade at this gay bar/club/restaurant. This is basically all the closure we get on Arnold in this finale.

Pina has recovered completely and is busily flipping a few shits about her wedding. See, her wedding planner has been preoccupied lately. Wonder why?

Tomas, now in his capacity as head-of-missing-persons-department (man, they fast-tracked him, from prisoner to boss of police in a few months), lets Freddy know that Vins has not been spotted. They found the car but not the guy.

Cut to a park where Vins appears to have stolen an outfit from a homeless man (as in, not what he was wearing when his bender began) and grown 2 inches of beard overnight. He now has a following of two filthy dogs.

Candi is ready to be a nun, she just has one great work left to do. Sister Superior (rolling her eyes at Candi's zeal) sends her off in a van to put blankets on homeless guys in a park. She happens to be putting a blanket on Vins and begins to recognize him. He looks up and sees an angel. "I'm dead, you're an angel." She thinks she's crazy and runs away to the convent.

Adoracion won't leave Sebs and Pina alone. She's enamored of the two, particularly Sebastian, and won't leave them in peace. He gives in and lets her see pictures of the wedding plan.

Also, has anyone read all of the things on Ado's "o my go" shirt?

Tomas proposes to Lupita. These proposal scenes are really all starting to seem the same.

Fred is worrying about Vins, but Pina thinks Vins just used his money to disappear.

There've been so many weddings in this show that they skip the lead up and jump right to the chase: all of a sudden, an awesome-looking Pina is walking down the aisle with Sebastian and getting interrupted by Vicente (who read about the wedding in the newspaper he was using as a blanket.

Needless to say, no one is happy to see him. Sebastian calls him "piltrafa" (a scrap, a skinny piece of meat that is little more than skin). Someone asks where he'd been and he says "I went on vacation in the street." Says Pancho: "Why don't you go home, clean up, and go to some institution that can help you." "Your beard is dirtier than your clothes." "It's all your fault, Pancho." "I'll go, but give me back my bottle!" He dissolves into a sobbing puddle of nenenenes...

Once he leaves, they try to get the wedding back on track.The judge, in a trendy cap, tries to get out a song, but everyone has had enough nonsense and they finish the wedding.

Melly's back, and the dog is in a tux! Sickening sappiness! I barf a little when the dogs start talking.

But Vins didn't go to Rehab! He went back to the park and the boozing. Guess someone should have kept an eye on him.