Caray, Caray!

Welcome to the party….Fasten your seatbelts cause it is gonna be a bumpy ride.
Quick refresher..Now that Nestor has taken a hike, Consti is no longer interested in boinking Luci.
See it was all about screwing Nestor not Luci, figuratively of course.

Mili and Al lock lips, tongue wrestle and put three years of pent up frustration into one grinding kiss. Then separate to opposite sides of the little homey setting of carefully arranged living room furniture.

The Padre reappears with Hugo and Flor. Now everyone must follow the rules, it is hands off. There is some eyerolling there as well as in my own living room. Padre tells Mili to round up Gloria & Chamaco manana for some belated relationship advice. Hugo mentions he thought it was Lina that was pregnant, okay bring Lina and Bobby in also.

The Padre looks all flustered like how did this happen? Well Duh, Dude…A little life preparation would have been nice; but back to that later.

----Say I have been wondering how Padre Manuel told Nestor all Luci’s little dark secrets..I mean if you watch Fuego, you know (it has been much debated), that a Padre can not tell anything…like Luci would have whacked Mili if she would have married Al. I am so confused, does this mean it is okay if you only tell your family like your brother Nestor? Well over on Fuego, then maybe Father Tad is a spawn of Bernando’s (isn’t everybody?) then he could tell.----

Flor tired by the pregnancy and carrying around all that deep dark hatred, retires for the evening. Hugo goes off to paint more scary goth pictures of crazy Al. Mili goes to tell the Chiclet Posse, they have to go see Padre Manuel tomorrow. Mili finds out that Lina and Karla are now Buddies, bonded over the evil, despoiler Fernando the Dead. Lina is willing to give Karla the benefit of the doubt. The other chicas don’t seem so sure.

Matt the Ratt is lying in bed with whatever the hell, Flor sister’s name is. He is having disturbing memories of his best, if somewhat AssHat friend being whacked. Where Lobo, VillaLobo, says Fernando no longer exists. I believe Matt should sleep in pull-ups cause he looks like he is about to pee his pants.

Next day….
Looks like Luci has been nursing a big heaping helping of Buchanan Scotch, this is day two of her drinking binge. In Mexico this is a great favorite, I was at a Wedding…yes a rural Wedding with liberal bottles of Buchanan Scotch, which was drunk with a orange soda and a healthy squirt of soda water…Hmmmmmmm, I stuck to beer.

Consti comes in and starts screaming at Luci to take a shower and get dressed and show up for his big political luncheon. Luci is all not gonna do it. Yes you will. He calls in Brau for back up. Now Brau has to get Luci ready for her close-up. Brau seems rather horrified by the whole thing. Luci tells him she will, but first…how’s bout a heaping helping of Buchanan Scotch. “No No No, it is too early,” Brau says and he doesn’t drink while he is working. She grabs a couple of glasses and pours him a drink. Luci, class act that she is forgoes drinking out of the bottle in front of the servant. Luci also realizing the value of Scotch, does not dampen that “heated in an oak barrel, by strapping men in kilts over a peat fire” taste with naco orange soda. We just see the bottle being pour again and again and again.

Meanwhile, over at St. Deceptions, the Padre greets the Chiclets and Chico. Padre wonders where Bobby is. Lina says he isn’t the father. Poor Padre, so much sin, it is hard for him to shoulder the world of sin.

Mili slips off to talk with Chunky Nun.
She gives the Chunkster a little background on the whole Lina debacle. Chunky gets all Medieval about rotten men. Methinks the Chunkster has not always been a Nun.

Padre grills, poor Chamaco about how he robbed Gloria of innocence. Chamaco says he used precautions. The Padre is appalled birth control is also against the Catholic belief system. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. “Well, Chamaco asks, “What’s a boy to do?” Padre answers with eons old oft quoted refrain, “Remain chaste tell married.” Chamaco smirks and it looks like the Chiclets are smirking.
What is a Padre to do?

Now back to Luci’s always open bar, she starts singing. (Sorry I tried to look up the lyrics, but I don’t remember enough of them. But big emphasis on lies) Luci is crooning a Brau is up on the bed drunkenly singing along. Luci starts in on Brau about what a total ratbastard the Consti is. She tells how he has thrown away everything for his political career. How Brau’s Niece has suffered. Oh damn drunk or not, she is good. Luci continues, “Now today is the day to end this…to make Consti suffer”.
Luci brings out her little lavender outfit and asks if Brau likes it. Why yes indeed, Brau caresses the fine feminine fabric.

Al and Val are out for a stroll, basically Al is happy that Val is so happy, but alas Val is sad cause Al is so sad and trapped in a loveless marriage from hell. They lament their crappy parents.

Over at St. Deceptions, Chamaco says he will marry Gloria in six months. Padre says no way, you will marry in one month. Gloria is all excited. Padre laments that Lina doesn’t have it so good, but being one big happy unprotected family, they will rally around and help her out. Chamaco says that is cool, he could marry her too. Padre is so not impressed with Chamaco’s prior religious instruction.
---Oh if only these people knew what we know, Fernando may be gone, but his gifts just keep on giving---
A moment of silence for Fernando….Okay carry on.

Luci wanders downstairs, nice outfit. She is kinda rich bag lady. Big oversized sweater, shirt and, say it isn’t so, sweatpants? Her lipstick is all smeared. Eureka, like a bloodhound, she has located another bottle of Buchanans. Al & Val wander in and they are appalled at her state. Luci starts in with “Hey I got some really great news, today along with destroying my three remaining healthy liver cells I am going destroy your father.” Then looks from Al to Val and directs to Val, “Well your father”. This leads to the game that sober people always get caught up in when dealing with a drunk, I like to call it the “Logic and Reasoning Game”. Al starts yelling at Luci, “You are so disgraceful, you ruined my life, you are terrible”. Val follows with, “I will not let you ruin my life, the same way”. This little game leads to smug drunken ramblings about, “I have sacrificed my life for my Hijos, no one loves you like Mama”. Al says, “she lied and he lost his love Mili.” Luci smirks with a look that says, oh my beloved if I wasn’t your “I only live for you, noble Mother”, I’d be forced to laugh. She counters with a, “I wasn’t going to let you ruin your life by marrying that dirty, low class, fly”.

Now over to the big politico. It is the PUN party. I guess a play on the PAN party in Mexico. Hey, I am not trying to draw any comparisons here, but this seems like maybe in this country, these folks would be in the ahhh wealthy, most light skinned, ahhh family first, most likely to be caught in an airport bathroom party. Hey I’m just sayin. Perleta, introduces Consti as the man with great family values, honorable and so on. Consti tells Damien to go look for Luci and get her ass in there.

Consti goes to the podium and begins his speech about fine noble causes, how he loves his family. He is so proud of his children, why his son, Al is right there by his side at the company. His daughter is a treasure. Now about that fine woman that shares his life. She is just the best thing since Cortez conquered Mexico City and gave the natives a reason to live. He calls for Luci to come forward.
--We see that fine little Lavender outfit move thru the crowd. Luci looks really tall.
OMG, it is Brau in full drag. Const doesn’t know what to say, and all those fine upstanding persons look like they just smelled something on the bottom of their shoe. Andrea jumps up and pulls the wig off Brau.
Andrea always the helpful Andrea. Perleta jumps up and tries to play it off as a joke. Reporters start asking if Consti supports that kind of life style. Brau runs out as do all the reporters and other fine citizens.

Back home, Al & Val continue the futile Reasoning Game with Luci. Al is just spitting hate and venom. Luci says she is a good mother. Al fires back with, “A hyena is a better mother thant you are.” Val says you won’t ruin my life with Rocky like you ruined Al’s. “A chofer, a dirty chofer?” Luci can’t believe it. Val says, “you tried to have Rocky killed.” Luci denies this, and truthfully it was Andrea, but honestly Luci probably can’t really remember if she did or not, by this point. Val follows up with a “He is the only man in my life and I am a mujer.” Al & Luci’s mouths drop. “Yeah, Ma, that’s the deal, we did it like two monkeys with only seconds to live”.
--Well I threw that in, but you get the idea—
Luci now starts in with what a thankless child Val is, “Where do you get your ideas?”. Val follows-up with, “Don’t point your finger at me, you were living in our home with your Amante”.
Luci draws back and gives Val an awesome smack across the face. Al grabs her arm and says enough. Val screams, “I hate you, I hate you.” And runs off.

Over at the business, Consti is furious, Brau comes out in a suit of Consti’s which is way too big. He tells Consti that Luci got him drunk. Consti wants to hit Brau, but Andrea stops him. She says putting up with drunk Luci and hiding everything has caused this. Brau nods in agreement. You go Brau, I’d direct the blame elsewhere too.

Al is not done with his mother. She begs him to help her keep that rotten chofer off Val. Al has had enough, he says he will help Val, he won’t let crazy Luci ruin her life..like Luci ruined his.

Just so you know, Luci has been drinking full throttle through this, which just makes her get a more intense drunk face, of why can’t you idiots follow my reasoning.

Mili walks in on this, and even she is a bit shocked by Luci’s bold fashion statement and drunken state. Luci, seeing a new victim starts in on Mili. She says how Mili’s mother was a rotten, slutty servant. Al tells her to shut-up and Mili has that hurt little girl look on her face, she starts to walk away….but feeling the draw of the “Logic and Reasoning Game”, comes back. She says, “Your are a drunk and My mother was good and true and gave her own life for me”. Luci with the drunk reasoning counters, “Well I am a good Mother”.

Now then kids if you think this was fun…looks like this episode of “Dr. Phil’s Family…A family in crisis” will continue tomorrow. Looks like Luci dares Consti to admit that Mili is his spawn…Everyone has an AWKWARD MOMENT look on their face. Luci is still dressed in the same becoming outfit and has not mussed her misapplied lipstick.

Now all I can say about Luci is this…damn that woman can drink, I would have seriously passed out several Buchanans prior, and probably been puke sick too. Now I must say, while I hate to be caught in the “Logic and Reasoning Game”, watching it on TV is pretty funny, cause like real life; you can’t move Luci onto a new theme, she just keeps repeating what a stellar parent she is. The others have gotten caught in the game and keep trying to reason with her. That so isn’t gonna happen.

Labels: guapos