Caray, Caray!

• Santiago was too proud to let Marissa dump him, and now his heart is suffering because Candy is not willing to be his second woman.
  
• Candy pushes all men away, and now she feels the dark night of being alone.
  
• Alicia made Pat into a man who cheats on his wife, and now she has a husband who cheats on his wife.
  
• Candy faked her death, and now Pat can use that against her to get custody of Chava.
  
• Pat betrayed the only woman he ever loved, and now he has no one to love in his life.

As they reviewed Friday’s scenes, I realized something.

1. At the “hot breakfast,” Marissa announced that she was willing to walk away from Santiago. She gave him a wide open door.
2. Then Candy confessed that she does like Santiago, implying that if he walks out Marissa’s open door, he’ll find Candy on the other side.
3. Candy left the restaurant immediately thereafter, to give Santi space to choose his course.
4. The moment Marissa comes into Candy’s office, Candy asks, “How did it end at the breakfast?”

It didn’t end. That’s the problem. And Candy will keep on rejecting Santiago, unless her life’s goal is to be someone’s mistress.

Now, today’s recap.
Luc and her friends are planning the party. The want to raise the most money for the orphans (?). Donato, whose favorite hobby is gossiping, tells Lucía that her tio’s rock band will play at the party. The girls swoon as if Elvis were coming. Perhaps they have a point.



Candy shows Lulu Pat’s picture. Lu will meet Pat as his friend from chat. She’s all atwitter, and she can’t believe that Candy would leave such a bonbon just because he cheated on her. Lulu asks how far she can go with him. I don’t want to sound like a certain troll, but geesh! She hasn’t even met him and she wants to throw herself into his bed? Lulu, get a grip!

Santiago discovers the Abandonados practicing in the clubhouse. Their song is, “Too Many Guests And Not Enough Tacos.“ He tells them to forget it! He has too much work to waste his time on such foolishness. Does anyone think Ed is not the drummer type? Maybe Carlo (Celso), but not Ed. And as for Miguel, the other young guy? Bass. Definitely bass.

Tulipánes de quién?
Someone delivers tulips for Candy, but Chayo loses the card. Our Sour Candy marches them out the door. She finds Santiago on the elevator. Again, the running gag: all the other people in the elevator groan when they see that it’s her. The two crows (I certainly can’t call them lovebirds) block the door so the others can’t exit. Candy demands, “Do you know what you should do with them? Santi suggests that he should send them to his novia. Candy orders him, “Don’t send me flowers. Don’t call me. Don’t come see me. Don’t nothing.” Note this is the first Candy has talked to him since he didn’t walk through the ‘open door’ this morning at breakfast.

Santi corrects her grammatical construction and also her assertions, “I don’t come see you, I don’t send you flowers. But from now on, I don’t want anything to do with you.” The elevator crowd cheers, and so do I, because she finally gets a taste of her own medicine and it leaves Candy speechless. Let me savor this moment.

Lulu and Candy e-mail Pat to arrange a meeting. Lulu can’t contain her excitement. Pat, not so much. He takes another look at the photo and proclaims his signature line, “No está sexy.” When Pat uses that line, he doesn’t mean it in a sexual sense. It seems to mean, “That’s not cool, that’s not a good idea, I don’t like it.”

Lulu is distressed that her new prospect doesn’t want to meet her, so Candy compassionately consoles her by saying, “There’s nothing you can do about it. Now get going because I have a column to write.” Lulu is losing hope of ever finding someone, and Candy asks, “To get a date, do you think you have to be a skinny, anorexic model?” Let’s see, can we think of any skinny, anorexic models who have four suitors?

Noche de perros (an idiom for a sleepless night)
Nobody is getting any sleep tonight.


In parallel scenes, both Candy and Santiago recognize that life is not meant to be alone. Candy is feeling lonely, writing her diary on her laptop. Santiago is reading poetry. “You’re far, and the distance is hard to bear. I can’t kiss you. I love you, I dream of you. I desire you.”
Candy writes, “I think about you, and I shouldn’t. I suffered from betrayal and the pain remains. It aches.”
Santiago talks to himself, “I don’t want to go back to suffering. But my heart is calling out for you. You don’t let me get close, with what I have for you inside.”
Candy: Life was not made for us to be alone. To live is to share. We’re all angels of only one wing, and the only way to fly is arm in arm with another.
Santiago: I used to be alone and didn’t feel alone. Why did I have to meet you and remember what loneliness is? Loneliness is what life is for me. And for you too.
Candy: But I won’t fly with you. I won’t have anything to do with you. No woman should betray another woman. Women don’t betray.
Santiago: I love you.
Candy: Continue with your novia. It’s not important to me. (She starts crying.) I don’t feeling anything. I don’t want to feel anything. Away with the pain.

Candy goes down to the kitchen. Meño couldn’t sleep either. She asks if loneliness bothers him. He says, “I’m gay. There is very much loneliness. I’ve always been alone. It hurts, but I’ve gotten accustomed to it.” Candy decides she has to get used to it too, but Meño says that one day she’ll open her eyes and not be alone. Charly couldn’t sleep either. He takes this opportunity, while Chava is asleep, to ask what’s up with Pat’s photo.

Beto didn’t feel like eating supper because he misses Jorge. Late that night he’s sick with a high fever. Soledad calls Pat, who is on the couch watching TV, with Alicia clinging to him like a remora. (I didn’t say ramera, but if the tacone fits…) When Pat hears that Beto is sick, he throws off Alicia like she’s a dog who doesn’t belong on the bed (if the slipper fits…). Soledad is sorry to call but she has no insurance and she’s desperate. Alicia is upset and doesn’t want her husband going to his ex(?)-lover’s house in the middle of the night. Nobody can fault her that, but her whining is still annoying.

Los perros se van - The dogs leave.
After Charly hears the story of Candy’s “death,” he heads up to bed. Meño sits and ponders. “My poor son. My family gave me up for dead. Everyone thinks you’re dead. Poor Charly lives in a cemetery!”

Beto’s fever left and he’s feeling better, thanks to the medicine. Soledad lets Pat talk to Beto alone, but Beto doesn’t want to listen. Pat gently explains what a bad father he had, and Beto brags that he has a good. dad. Pat says he’s not asking Beto to stop loving Jorge as his father, but he wants to spend more time with him, get to know him, and make up for all the years that he missed. As he tucks Beto in, Pat lingers and savors the scene, wishing it was part of his daily life.

Lucía can’t sleep either. She’s crying over her mother’s picture. Santiago comes in to be with her. As they sit under the portrait of his father (Santiago’s father and Jaime Camil’s father), Santi understands but reminds her that it wasn’t her mama’s fault. Luc is still angry that they left her alone. Like a good papa, he suggests that maybe it’s time to let go of all the coraje (anger, bitterness, being upset; the word is hard to translate). He gives her his shoulder to cry on, and says that if he holds her and rubs her ear, little by little the coraje goes away. She asks, “Is that what my uncle, the doctor, says?” He says, “No, it’s your uncle who loves you with his whole heart and wants to be your father forever.”

Notice the contrast. Pat, who was raised by a terrible father and a lousy mother, is trying to figure out how to be the right kind of father to his son Beto. Santiago, who has a world of well-earned admiration for his mother, and who sits under the shadow of his father, already knows how to be a good father.

Rosas de celos. Mumbles de baño.
The next morning at the office, Candy refuses to ride the same elevator as Santiago. Tan caballero (such a gentleman), he surrenders his place. Watch him carefully after the elevator elevates. You’ll see four separate thoughts occur to him. Then he goes down the street to buy flowers.



On the Machograma, the second definition is Macho Perezoso (lazybones). So slow that they seem motionless. Their slogan is “Slowly but surely.” They father five children and later want you to provide for them. Es vigo (?). For them, everything can wait, even your pleasure. If you want to be dissatisfied, find a macho perezoso.

I’m just wondering how teaching women to be man-haters makes them more beautiful on the inside.

Soledad tells Candy that Santiago is in reception with a bouquet of flowers. Candy marches out, grabs them before he can say a word, and screams at him that she doesn’t want any flowers from him. She violently shakes them at him, causing a blizzard of petals. He asks her to please give them back because he bought them for his novia. Marissa dashes out, so delighted to get flowers from Santiago. As she zeros in for a big thank-you kiss, he shuffles over so they can kiss directly in front of Candy. Bull’s-eye! Santiago scores a direct hit. Candy got exactly what she demanded - that the doctor leave her alone - and she almost starts crying. Poor Marissa, she is so happy to finally have Santiago’s attention, and she has no idea she only has a bit part in this play.

At the restaurant, Lulu is depressed because of Pat. Meño comforts her that Pat has always been patán (an oafish lout). Thank you, Meño, for the new moniker. Lulu says that Patán rejected her after seeing her picture. Meño reminds her that he himself is no Alejandro Fernandez, El Patrillo. He’s just an old fogie. Lulu disputes this – she adores him. Meño say’s that’s just his point – she’s a sweetheart and people adore her too. Alejandro Fernandez is my favorite singer but I don’t consider him a heart-throb.

At school, Rocío tells Chava that she changed her dog’s name from Maripa (Marissa plus Paulina) to Santiaga because her mother doesn’t love her. Notice that she removed the reference to Marissa as well.

Marissa and Bárbara mumble about something in the bathroom. They don’t want the rest of the office to hear it. The sound man doesn’t want me to hear it either. Who am I to argue?

Patán asks Meño why his Suegrita brought Patán’s picture to Meño’s house. Meño kicks him out. At the counter, Sven tells Ole he doesn’t qualify as an Abandonado because he’s never had a girlfriend to abandon him.

Jaime tells Isabel that she’s lucky to be involved in her son’s life. Jaime spent last Christmas alone. “Yo coseché lo que sambré” – I reaped what I sowed. He says he put his work before his family, and now he is almost a stranger to them.

Rocío wants Marissa to take her and Chava to the park. When Santiago hears that Rocío is taking her novio. Santi stomps on the brakes. “The only novio Rocío has is me.” Tender-hearted Roc is worried that she made her daddy angry, but Mar says he’s just jealous. Santi yanks the reins on that wagon too! He “clarifies” to Marissa that he doesn’t want his daughter to contend with the pressures of life before her time. He doesn’t even want to think about the day that some barbarian will take his princess away. His princess tells him not to worry, she’ll marry Chava, not some barbarian.

Raúl brings Candy her fan mail and insists that she go to a couples’ dinner with him. Candy says, “You and I are not a couple.” “Not yet,” says Raúl.

Marissa takes the three kids to the park and asks Chava how many boyfriends his mother has.

Raúl is joking with Santiago about their band playing again. The talk shifts to Candy and the couples’ dinner. Then Santi realizes that Raúl is talking about Raúl and Candy as a couple, and joke time is over.

Jaime takes Isabel home and suggests a kiss. Isabel gives Jaime a peck because she knows he’s a little timid. Jaime gathers his gumption and gives her the tiniest peck. They discuss whether they are novios. With a little prompting, Jaime gives her a sweet kiss.

Santiago barges into Candy’s office. Before we listen to that conversation, let’s review, class. What happened between them earlier this morning? Santiago brought a big bunch of roses to Marissa, not Candy, and then he gave Marissa a big sloppy kiss, making sure Candy couldn’t miss it. But now that Raúl has used the word “couples,” everything has changed. Santi doesn’t want anyone doing any “Hey, Hey, HEY!” with his prospective mistress. Santiago shoves shows Cece out the door and gets straight to the point.

He tells Candy, “You can’t go out to dinner with Raúl. It’s a couples’ dinner. What’s dangerous is what can happen afterwards. Kisses, caresses, he’ll want to grab hold of you.”
Candy answers, “Then I’ll prepare for what comes after the kiss. I’ll buy lingerie. (Santiago looks like someone is pulling his necktie tighter and tighter.) Would Raúl like red or black? You decide.”
Poor Santiago, his head just about explodes. He gets steaming mad and then realizes that she is just playing games with him. At least he hopes so.

Bárbara tries to get Cece to talk about Candy, assuring Cece that she is very discreet. Cece keeps her mouth shut. Candy walks in and asks what the secret is. Bárbara, the discreet one, says, “Cece doesn’t like men!” Ha ha! Broma! Hmm. ‘Entre broma y broma, la verdad se asoma.’ Between one joke and another, the truth appears.

Santiago is beside himself, thinking about Candy with Raúl. He gives poor Hortensia fits – a full-blown obsessive-compulsive, bipolar, neurotic panic attack, with some post-traumatic stress thrown in for good measure. Hortensia points out that he doesn’t have any more appointments today; maybe he should go home early. PLEASE! To get ready for your party. Yeah, that’s it! Santi is surprised that Hortensia knows about the party, and today he has already had too many surprises.

Patán is at home with his shirt open, and Alicia reminds him that her mother might see him like that. (I think that in Mexico, men rarely go bare-chested.) Pat doesn’t care if she sees him; he’s been seeing her for three weeks now, and remember that fish and visitors stink after only three days. He would be delighted.. no, he’d be overjoyed! to pay for a hotel room for her.

Out on the street, a boy (is it Charly?) gives Santiago a flyer for the party. Yet another surprise - he’s the starring attraction! He clenches his teeth and seethes, “Sainted Mother, thank God I only have one!”

Candy tells Cece she has to go home and make Chava dinner.

Lucía’s friends are working on party publicity, and one says the whole colonia will come when they find out the music will be by Lucía’s guapisimo uncle. Who is of course standing behind her. Santi finds Isabel to give her what-for, because she’s the one who told the girls that Agua Mineral would be playing.

At Patán’s, Suegrita está gritando (she’s yelling) because she heard what Pat said about her. Alicia completely ignores her and decides to get a boob lift. From Santiago of course. Suegrita is fuming.

Cece takes dinner to Candy’s house because she “likes to help her.” Cece suggests that they go to a restaurant some time. Candy agrees, and Cece gets a glint in her eye.

Tomorrow, Suegrita moves herself into Candy’s house while Meño tries to move her out. Chava & Charly come down the steps, and Chava proudly proclaims that his mama is Candy.

Labels: Tontas