Caray, Caray!

Oh my this was brutal... and so was the actual episode.

Thanks, Blue Lass... so gosh-darn funny. My favorite line:

"Pedro’s stomping around the edges of the property looking for Lucrazy droppings..."

Wonderful.

"If you look closely, you can see Karyme Lozano’s hand protruding from the end of her shroud as she texts profuse thanks to her agent for getting her out of this. I may shoot her, too."

I was suspicious about this murder as well. Probably all the time she was missing she was negotiating this.

"OK, I'll come back but you must kill me right away."

Camila seemed to recover from Mariana's murder rather quickly.

Who thinks that there will be a funeral this time? Me neither.

Carlos
 

Wow! I can't stop laughing Blue Lass. This was simply inspired snarky writing. I actually saw yesterday's episode, and was fairly impressed with the plot movement. Boy, am I glad I missed this one.

Farewell Mariana! You were one of the best things about this tn.
 

Well, girlfriend, you pulled it out! I wondered how you were going to do this recap and of course you did it with your usual wit and charm.

I wrote down my 4 favorite lines. Carlos has already said two of them:
- looking for Lucrazy droppings
and
- Karyme texting her agent

My other 2 faves:
- kevlar teddy
- it's still a dud party
At least Santiago didn't come down and announce he is hungry.

If you were Pedro, wouldn't you move?

Okay... my word verification is a picture of a brick wall? QTH?
 

Sorry I haven't been around since introducing myself. The care of my elderly mother-in-law keeps me pretty busy, along with kids & grandkids running around. I'm so glad to be back reading your recaps!

Thanks so much for another great one, Blue Lass! In addition to the hilarious lines quoted in other comments here, I also particularly enjoyed the "fishbowls" & "high tea at the whorehouse!"

...Still laughing & happily enjoying all of your contributions!
 

Having missed a few episodes before this one, Don Bombastico murdering Mariana seemingly out of nowhere (apparently after she finally regained her memory--did I miss that?) was simultaneously extremely frustrating and utterly hilarious. On the one hand, Mariana was the object of one of the few ongoing successful evil deeds committed on this show, which included the infamous miscarriage-by-assault in the second episode, and that should have guaranteed her survival (let alone Tia Patricia and whatshisface getting blown the hell up in Sarita's car some thirty-odd episodes back); on the other, you had to laugh at how utterly emotionless Sergio Reynoso looked in his scenes with Karyme Lozano, particularly the shot of his face right after Greg terminated Mariana. It never changed expression, except for something he did with his eyebrow...after about eight seconds.

I suppose we can take some small comfort in the fact that Mariana's death guarantees an ignominious demise for the Pig, but unless the late and unlamented Estupido shows up to escort him to Hell a la Leonardo in Eva Luna or El Alcatraz is somehow destroyed by a fuel-air bomb I suspect we're going to be disappointed...
 

Wow talk about taking one for the team Blue Lass. I am shocked and horrified that Mariana was killed by the same awful wretch who made her miscarry. The only comfort one can have is that this TN is terrible and KL wanted out.

Bill your observation about Greg's face is hilarious. And your comment about viewers being disappointed is bound to come true. As Vivi noted, Mariana was one of the best things about this show. They seem to kill the good ones in this TN.
 

Radiomom997 - It is nice to hear from you again. I am also going through a rough patch caring for my sick mom and I know how it can cut into our telenovela time! Please pop in whenever you can.

Bill - I've been watching almost everyday and even I was stunned he really killed her off. Like the big mouth that I am, I hurried and told Blue what she was in store for tonight. I am such a spoiler, but it was just so OMG worthy!

When I was a little morbid girl, I wanted to invent a "knife throwing machine" for bad people. It's no "fuel air bomb", but I've been thinking about that machine and Pig a lot lately.
 

Ay de mi, amiga la senorita azul. You got an unhappy episode. Thank you for taking us through it with dry eyes.

Ok, so she's dead. But why was there only a trickle of blood from her mouth and a few spots on her front???? If *only* TB+30 (I think he gained it back for this episode) had had to have dealt with massive amounts of blood all over the couch, rug and floor. That would have kept him busy all night. As it was, he got off *pretty* easy. RIP Mariana.

With all that rackett going on, I just can't believe Tracy, Berta, Flor (surely she wasn't still out with Angel..it was nearly midnight) and Panchito never heard a sound. All other things being equal, it was quiet. Where is Tomas when you need him--he wasn't with Geno.

Yep, Armando has his mom's number--it's all about her. I thought it was funny when Camila told her on the phone that she was actually ok, didn't have a tumor and didn't need the operation, Elvira knew it was in answer to her promise to God--now I wonder if she'll keep her word to leave Maria & Manuel alone.

Please, don't ever leave me in a situation where I had to depend on the men from El Tal. All they seem to do in a crisis is sit around and discuss probabilities and possible outcomes--sounds like the perfect Dilbert cartoon. Sarita sounded crazy but was the only one telling the truth.

Carlos--I'm recapping tomorrow, so I hope there is a funeral. Lucrazzy is going to want to attend. TB+30 will want to, to show he has no ill will toward the dead. If there is, will Antonio let Camila attend? Will Padre officiate? Will Pedro be re-arrested for Mariana's murder? Will that be double jeopardy? Ooooh, the probablilities and possibilities are endless.
Anita
 

I hear you, R la O. Yeah, Greg really needs an appointment with the knife-throwing machine...or a runaway blue Chevy pickup truck.

(Random thought: Charlton Heston agreed to do Beneath The Planet Of The Apes only if his character was killed off. Just saying: there's a precedent, Karyme!)

Mariana's demise does seem to put all three major villains on their final courses, though; Greg and the Buckle are utterly doomed (sidebar: if Greg and Antonio are killed while Camila is still married to Antonio, would she end up with control of El Alcatraz?), while faithful henchman Valentin is showing signs of turning away from the dark side and may be the one who sacrifices himself in some sort of redemptory act to save someone else. Doris, other than being an unfaithful ho, doesn't rate anything other than her part-time job getting outed. And IIRC Lucrecia hasn't done anything that warrants death, though for some reason I'm thinking that she deserves to see her brother gunned down in front of her and then, only then, realize that her obsession with Pedro was transference since she couldn't be with the man she really loved--and cue the mental breakdown.
 

Anita - TB+30 lol! Maybe he was wearing Spanx on Tuesday?
 

Wow, Bill C. What an ending. I love it.

The fake will claims it all belongs to Don Greggorio. While he was in the hospital, didn't he sign it over to Antonio, while Lulu had already signed her rights over to Antonio?

The real will from Don G's wife willed it half 'n half to the *two* legitimate children.

At some point, the fake will must be found out as fake. Either way, Camila will end up with something as Antonio's widow. But so should his two daughters inherit something, no?

Then she gets to marry Pedro and administer Lucrecia's half of the ranch since Lulu's in the nuthouse. So, yes--she gets almost all the avocados and the raisins.

Oh, she'll subdivide the back 40 so Tracy and Panchito can live happily ever after. Maybe she'll build a 4-unit condo on the side 40 for Elvira, Armando & Fab, Angel and Flo--nope, I think these two couples will be able to afford something miles away from Elvira. Manuel and Maria ought to move back up North (unless Manuel finds out Camila is his daughter).

Anita
 

So we now have a new standard of low by which all other shows will be judged? If I believed in conspiracies, I'd think Univision had a bunch of mediocre shows coming up that they were trying to make look good by first playing this.

The crazier Lulu gets, the more interesting she is. But probably too far gone to be much use. Same goes for Elvira. I had hopes that she was considering turning herself in until she mentioned wanting to sue. If her family is lucky she'll get caught in the crossfire.

I think these verification pics-i got an adress number over a door-might be better than unreadable words. As long as it doesn't turn into pictionary where we have to guess the word.

Kelly
 

Thank you so much for this great recap Blue Lass I loved every line. It was marvelous. So sorry you had to recap this horrific episode. I cried when Mariana died, I have to say. She was the best thing on this TN. I hope the Pig gets the biggest anvil in existence.

How could they not know Mariana wasn't there, during all the Lucrazy droppings lol. You'd think someone would have checked up on her. It was like an afterthought when Padre asked where she was.

I hate they put her body in the slums. Homeless people were looking for stuff when they found her. Horrible.

What is wrong with El Capitan, oh, by the way Mariana is dead and you have to answer some questions??? QTF is that? Pedro looked like an automation, he could barely move. And where was Manuel? Not with Maria at this point.

Did love that he asked her to marry him. He is right to be worried about the Virus.

You know the scene by the pool with the body,and Cameela, Val, the Prince of Darkness and the Pig was kind of funny, I have to say. And when the Pig slapped Cameela across the face, I was hoping she'd grab the gun and let him have it. Not such luck.

Virus and suing the "doc". She is true to type it seems, and it has always been about her.
 

Blue Lass, you really took one for the team tonight! Usually I watch El Tal while enjoying my lunch. Today I deliberately ate first just in case. Good gosh darn thing I did. But I've got to say, you are one hilarious woman. Your cracks about Karyme texting her agent, El Pig and his ensembles, high tea at the whorehouse, Gee thanks, all these and more were just hilarious.

Radiomom, do pop in when you can. Many of us know very well what you are experiencing. Sometimes this blog is an effective respite.

Anita, I thought the same thing you did, why did nobody else hear the gunshot, the wailing, the yelling? Time to adjust beanies.

I'm bummed Mariana got killed, but happy that Karyme escaped this hot mess.

I haven't a clue about what will happen next. This TN has completely baffled and befuddled me.
 

Just a quick addition before work -- there was a throwaway line of the Pig's about why no one heard all the noise: "Fortunately Doris and Flor are not here and the cabanas are too far away." I only caught it the second time, as I had to keep rewinding because I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

Whew. Off to my peaceful, peaceful job.
 

Oh my, seriously, do you guys realize you have a firm comedy troop here with all the recapping and comments. I read this at the job while having my coffee and half the time I'm laughing so hard that I end up splashing it on my keyboard. My IT techs are getting a bit suspicious. But THANK YOU.

Loved all your comments.

I do have to say when I saw the Captain tell Pedro he has to come in, it felt like the actor could not hold back his disdain. It's like he said "you've got to be kidding, I'm telling Pedro to come in, did I lose my brains, I should be asking Pig to come in, WRITERS give me a break, someone shoot me get me out of this thing."

Anybody know when this horrible mess ends. I feel so sorry for all the actors, I would like to send them a case of whiteout liquid so they can remove this from their credits.
 

Yes, please, anyone -- ANYONE? -- have a closing date for this hot mess? I need to book my stay in the Post-Traumatic Recappers Clinic (thanks, R la O.)
 

I check my Tivo every day hoping that I will see the last day of El Tal. The only difference I have seen is that on Friday 6/15 the episode is scheduled to be TWO HOURS. Dare we hope its the Gran Final? I can't see past 6/15 so I will have to wait until Monday to see if it continues. I really really hope it ends 6/15 and doesn't do something stupid like have 2 hour episodes for two weeks.
 

Blue Lass I think I'll join you at the Post Traumatic Recappers Clinic lol. But I'll have to get a day pass so I can recap that new two hour TN Refugio.
 

Madelaine, I can't believe you are going to recap the new 2-hour TN! Yowza, you are like the energizer bunny.
 

Madelaine, the therapy won't work unless you really WANT to get better. ;}
 

Cap'n and Blue Lass lol. Yeah I actually recapped the very first epi of that TN. I do Thursday and Friday. I tried to talk Cynderella and Sara to recap but both turned me down for Abismo. It isn't a bad TN it can be snarked up pretty well, and the Bod on Rod the Bod (Gabriel Soto) is just delish.
 

Ha ha. The nicknames are the best part!

I dipped into Refugio the other day, and it looked interesting. The house where the protagonista is working gave me the most severe case of kitchen envy I've ever had.
 

Blue Lass:
You made short work of this horrid episode—with a fine recap. I don't know how you, Madelaine, Anita ++ have kept recapping this crap-fest.

This was HYSTERICAL!

"If you look closely, you can see Karyme Lozano’s hand protruding from the end of her shroud as she texts profuse thanks to her agent for getting her out of this. I may shoot her, too."

Mariana was my favorite character on the show. That, and like Dr. Frankenstein, I fell at little bit in love with the creature Doris. Sigh.

I predict that Camila and Pedro will have lots of perfectly stunning, perfectly indecisive, perfectly tall, perfectly stupid little nippers running around Freesnow in the next few years, regardless of current plot developments.

I am headed out right now for Fresno State to look for Special Ed trained nannies. If we start young, maybe the little ones can be shown how to take a decision and stick with it from a young age. Their parents sure won't model this for them.

The kids should never be allowed to meet their Grandmother Elvira.

Kevlar teddy? LMAO!

Great work, Blue Lass. You are coming into the home stretch!

EJ