Friday, June 20, 2014
Weekend Discussion: Children and Secrets
In view of the recent trend in novelas to have children in the position of keeping secrets, I thought this an apt discussion point.
Lauro and Victoria had the secret of Alejandro being alive and he and Victor being in Aguazul (which has now been blown to pieces). Victoria still needs to keep the secret of the cell phone in Nadia's possession and we know that one won't last long. It won't necessarily be her fault, either, as the close of last night's episode wasn't about the kids.
I personally don't believe that children should be burdened with secrets of any kind. Children the ages of Victoria and Lauro aren't quite old enough to have a real grasp of the purpose of these secrets. During that scene at school recess I started wondering who would overhear them.
There is also the issue of keeping secrets from kids. If Lauro doesn't end up in a dangerous situation before this tale is over, what do you think Monserrat should do about what he doesn't yet know (Not that Alejandro should be left out of this decision but she knows him better due to the circumstances)? What sort -- if any -- of family secrets should be shared with kids? When? How?
The floor is open
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Very interesting topic.
It is obviously a very unwholesome thing for a child to be forced to hold the secrets of the (dysfunctional) adults in their lives.
One consequence of children being made to hold secrets is that they often end up having a life-long struggle with truth-telling. This can cut two ways—the child can become an adult who takes on the role of 'truth-teller' in a rigid way or the adult child may have difficulty navigating and telling truth from convenient fiction.
The characters of Lauro and Victoria in 'Robo' should not have been placed in the dangerous position of holding deadly secrets. In real life, imagine the emotional consequences if a child spilled such a secret and disaster followed?
Elna June
Very interesting topic.
It is obviously a very unwholesome thing for a child to be forced to hold the secrets of the (dysfunctional) adults in their lives.
One consequence of children being made to hold secrets is that they often end up having a life-long struggle with truth-telling. This can cut two ways—the child can become an adult who takes on the role of 'truth-teller' in a rigid way or the adult child may have difficulty navigating and telling truth from convenient fiction.
The characters of Lauro and Victoria in 'Robo' should not have been placed in the dangerous position of holding deadly secrets. In real life, imagine the emotional consequences if a child spilled such a secret and disaster followed?
Elna June
Mentir para vivir (an excellent telenovela) was full of secret keeping.
Permalink posted by 
: Friday, June 20, 2014 at 4:06:00 PM EDT
: Friday, June 20, 2014 at 4:06:00 PM EDT
In LI all the children have been told to keep secrets.
Sofia is told by her mother not to tell her father about what happened on the gun running trip when they were stopped by police and later chased by thugs. She also had to keep the secret of the cheep which would have brought down Raq and to keep secret that Uncle Chris was visiting mama. Interestingly enough she once said that kids hear things around the house that the adults aren't aware of.
Little Hugo was also told to keep the secret of the cheep and lately not to contact his friend Sofia. He did and set off the action that resulted in him and his sister being burned to death (at least that's what we are led to believe)
I should point out these are 8 year olds who should never have been dragged into the adult plots and schemes.
Sofia is told by her mother not to tell her father about what happened on the gun running trip when they were stopped by police and later chased by thugs. She also had to keep the secret of the cheep which would have brought down Raq and to keep secret that Uncle Chris was visiting mama. Interestingly enough she once said that kids hear things around the house that the adults aren't aware of.
Little Hugo was also told to keep the secret of the cheep and lately not to contact his friend Sofia. He did and set off the action that resulted in him and his sister being burned to death (at least that's what we are led to believe)
I should point out these are 8 year olds who should never have been dragged into the adult plots and schemes.
Permalink posted by : Friday, June 20, 2014 at 5:05:00 PM EDT
: Friday, June 20, 2014 at 5:05:00 PM EDT
I remember in PEAM when Alma was sent to jail, they didn't tell Valentina that exact thing. Actually they said she was just going away on a trip for a while. They did the same thing when Rogelio went to jail and Sanson (?) the Dog was handed down to her. Also when Veronica picked her up from school and said they were going on a trip, she kept the location secret until the shit hit the fan.
I really think that children should never be burdened with secrets at the ages of the children mentioned above. The stress of having to lie to protect someone or to survive is not healthy for anyone but far less so for a young child.
What about those novelas where someone never finds out s/he is adopted?
What about those novelas where someone never finds out s/he is adopted?
Yeah,children arent supposed to keep secrets because one day they will just spill the beans anyway,either from strong pressure or by their free will. Its even hard for an adult to keep a secret more less then a mere child who is yet unaware on what true life is all about. Victoria suprises me though ,so far she hasnt spilled the beans yet,like Nadia said she must have matured alot thanks to the monster that is Peddy.
This is a good topic UA. And again, I want to commend you for always coming up with interesting discussion points for the weekend. We all benefit from your creative mind.
Even on a less dramatic level, secret-keeping can be toxic. All my life, I heard my mom criticize and discuss my siblings, other relatives or friends, and, occasionally,even my dad-- immediately followed by " But don't say anything."
Only much later did I learn that this was "triangling". Instead of confronting the problem directly with the person involved, one vents and complains to a third person-- therefore, never resolving any issue, and setting up toxic loyalties and further judgment.
It has taken a long time for me to learn to go directly to the person involved, instead of just complaining about something to another family member or friend. But I'm very glad I did. Never too late to learn.
Even on a less dramatic level, secret-keeping can be toxic. All my life, I heard my mom criticize and discuss my siblings, other relatives or friends, and, occasionally,even my dad-- immediately followed by " But don't say anything."
Only much later did I learn that this was "triangling". Instead of confronting the problem directly with the person involved, one vents and complains to a third person-- therefore, never resolving any issue, and setting up toxic loyalties and further judgment.
It has taken a long time for me to learn to go directly to the person involved, instead of just complaining about something to another family member or friend. But I'm very glad I did. Never too late to learn.
I just thought I'd post this here. Sebastian Rulli apparently has been a villain before in Rosy Ocampo's Alegrijes y Rebujos (him and Luz Elena Gonzalez alongside Eugenia Caudora and Cecelia Gabriela whom played the same role apparently but in a #1 and #2 type deal. Think Vivian 1 & 2 from Fresh Prince of Bel-air.)
Hearing one's mother trash other relatives is no fun as an adult, either. Especially when you're later sitting in the same room with the other people and watching your mother put on her act.
What about La Otra?
Little 9-10 year old Natalia (Natasha Dupeyrón from Que Pobres tan Ricos) is used to being mistreated and abandoned by her narcissistic evil mother Cordelia (Yadhira Carrillo).
When she gets sick after (or right before, I can't remember) her mother abandones her and her father, she believes she'll never see her mother again. Then her mother comes back and instead of her usual self she comes back loving and supportive and treats her like she should have done all her life and nurtures her back to health.
Then when she finally has a loving mother she has to deal with her father (Juan Soler) wanting to divorce her. After some time when they seem to fall in love again she is told that the loving woman who came back for her was, in fact, not her mother but an old girlfriend of her father named Carlota. She is asked by her father to keep this as a secret and pretend Carlota is her mother while she wonders where her real mother is.
Eventually she finds out that her real mother was murdered.
How is that for childhood trauma?
Jarocha
Little 9-10 year old Natalia (Natasha Dupeyrón from Que Pobres tan Ricos) is used to being mistreated and abandoned by her narcissistic evil mother Cordelia (Yadhira Carrillo).
When she gets sick after (or right before, I can't remember) her mother abandones her and her father, she believes she'll never see her mother again. Then her mother comes back and instead of her usual self she comes back loving and supportive and treats her like she should have done all her life and nurtures her back to health.
Then when she finally has a loving mother she has to deal with her father (Juan Soler) wanting to divorce her. After some time when they seem to fall in love again she is told that the loving woman who came back for her was, in fact, not her mother but an old girlfriend of her father named Carlota. She is asked by her father to keep this as a secret and pretend Carlota is her mother while she wonders where her real mother is.
Eventually she finds out that her real mother was murdered.
How is that for childhood trauma?
Jarocha
Permalink posted by : Sunday, June 22, 2014 at 11:32:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, June 22, 2014 at 11:32:00 PM EDT
I'm commenting way too late on this one (darn my sporadic internet) But I just have to say I disagree with everyone else. Kids can keep secrets just fine, kids keep secrets from their parent and for their parents all the time with no struggle. The unhealthy stuff comes in when the parents are badmouthing people the kid knows, which is unhealthy weather or not you let the kid tell anyone else
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Permalink posted by : Monday, June 23, 2014 at 6:51:00 PM EDT
: Monday, June 23, 2014 at 6:51:00 PM EDT
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