Sunday, August 20, 2006
La Fea Más Bella #82-84 8/16 -8/18/06 The Neverending Birthday Party
Again, thanks for all the supportive comments. They really mean a lot, and they keep me motivated. I'm still struggling to strike the right balance between detail and time, but I think my Spanish is improving, so that helps too.
I'm still making a lot of mistakes, and I'll correct them when they're important. Three corrections to note at this time:
Moving on, here are some vocabulary words for this past week, none of which I'm sure of, so in this case I'm asking you, not telling you:
Mom is very excited about Lety's party. RoboPop is looking at the mail and discovers Filmo Imagen's cell phone bill is 3000 pesos (around $290 I believe)! He alerts Tomas, who realizes the calls must have been made by that bimbo who "borrowed" his phone. (He is wearing a fairly decent-looking suit, at least it's an improvement over his usual Members Only-looking jacket, with another short, fat, dorky necktie. What is with the short, fat, dorky ties?) He goes out to investigate (after helping himself to some of the food Mom's prepared for the party).
He goes to the bar where he typically meets with the two old dudes, the older of whom is apparently named Sanchez. They show up, plead ignorance and order drinks.
Back at the office, Martha is inviting seemingly everyone in the world to Lety's party, which worries Lety. Remember, she wants everyone out of there by 10 so she can go out on a hot date with her boyfriend. Luigi comes out of his office and complains that it looks like a scene from Planet of the Apes. Irma asks if she can leave to go to Lety's party (I guess it's just a little bit early). Luigi complains but evidently doesn't forbid it.
The feas go en masse to the restroom, where they encounter Alicia. Sara says something to Alicia about having chicken legs. Um, if that's what chicken legs look like, then I would like to have chicken legs too. Alicia says she'd rather be alone than go Lety's party. Marcia comes in to see what the ruckus is, and Alicia tattles to her that they're not invited. Martha says not true, Al is not invited, but Marcia is. (OMG, are we in third grade??) Lety tells Marcia sure, you're welcome at my house any time. Marcia says that certainly is an attractive offer, but she'd prefer to stay home. She exits the bathroom. Alicia makes a crack about pinatas and leaves.
PM says that she misses Eduardo. (So do I.) They agree that he brought lots of joy.
You'll recall that Luigi treated Alicia to lunch earlier this week. That's because she had told him that she had won the bet over Eduardo. When Luigi found out that wasn't true, he wanted his money back. Of course, Alicia has no money to give him, so Luigi asks her to do him a favor. She is hardly in any position to refuse, but she protests when she discovers that he wants her to watch his dog for a little while. After he leaves the dog with her, she tries to make small talk with it. (Poor doggie!)
Fernando tells Marcia that he's going to Lety's birthday party tonight. She is incredulous, but she doesn't argue with him, since she and Alicia have already planned to follow him (Alicia even rented a car and bought "disguises").
Alicia leaves the dog at her desk to meet with Marcia in her office. Marcia tells Alicia that Fern plans to go to Lety's party. Alicia complains that the feas have been talking about it all afternoon, but she's obviously very excited about the spying they'll be doing tonight! She also complains about Luigi's "pulgiento (?) perro... perra... gay."
Alicia returns to her desk and finds that the dog has torn apart her designer purse and destroyed a lot of its contents - makeup and such, some of which she got on a trip to Miami. She flips out. Luigi catches her scolding the dog ("maldita!") and taunts her. He sings a little song "Chicka-da-boom, bombita. La diva, la diva, ay que bonita," followed by a Howard Dean-like howl. He says now they are even. Marcia reminds Alicia they have an important thing to do. Luigi seems intrigued.
Meanwhile, Omar and Fern decide they'll hang out at a bar until it's time to pick up Lety at 10. Fern needs to liquor himself up for the occasion.
On their way out, the feas run into Saimon and Yazmin. PM wants Lety to invite Saimon, and Lety agrees. Saimon sings "happy boorday to yo," very cute. Lety invites him, and he invites Yazmin. Y politely declines and the feas very vocally fail to express disappointment. Saimon is excited about the party. They all crowd onto the elevator, and Yazmin is shoved out. (From the look on her face, I can't tell whether the character is pouting, or the actress is laughing!)
Waiting outside a little while later, Lola and Yazmin bicker about the car again. Yazmin gives Saimon another air-kiss, which thrills him. Wow. Talk about a low-maintenance guy, huh? Celso (on whom I have a tremendous crush) gets the feas a taxi, and Yazmin gets picked up by El Cheque... who is wearing NO neck brace, and NO cast! She nags him some more about the house, which apparently belongs to Lola's family.
Alicia and Marcia have donned their disguises (black trenchcoats, black fedoras, and sunglasses) and head out to their rental car, which I believe is a BMW. They are just in time to see Fern leave, then Omar. Lucy and Ethel follow. Surprisingly, they do not giggle. Perhaps they're giggling inside.
Back at the bar, Sanchez and his friend have been drinking. They ask something about Lety and do some babbling. Tomas is sorry to interrupt their interesting story, but he wants to know who the chick is. He waves the phone bill around and mentions the 3000 pesos again. They take him to another place, where he momentarily thinks he sees Alicia. He taps the woman on the shoulder, but it's not her (she's way too short, for one thing). Anyway, the bimbo who "borrowed" his phone works at this bar. When she sees him, she tries to run out! He grabs her and tells her she needs to pay his phone bill.
I'm not sure exactly how their conversation goes, but it's clear that he's not going to be getting any money out of her. He, she, Sanchez, and the other guy shoot some pool for a while, but Tomas still wants to talk about money. The bimbo tries to distract him by climbing onto the pool table and groping him. I think the old guys suggest a wager on a game of pool, but Tomas has only 200 pesos on him (less than $20) and he still needs to get something for Lety's birthday. Winning at pool will not make him the money he needs. Just then, there is a shout - another bar patron has won 1000 pesos playing keno. Tomas thinks this might be his big chance to make his money back. (I'm not clear on his logic, exactly...)
The feas have arrived at Lety's house. First thing RoboPop says when he sees them is hey, it's the women who got my daughter drunk. Mom protests. RoboPop then asks where their husbands are this evening. Irma says she's separated. She doesn't know if her ex is alive or dead. Lola: Also separated. RoboPop asks, are you all separated? (Hmm, I wonder why this family doesn't entertain more often?) Sara says she hasn't had the pleasure. Martha says she's happily married, and her husband is home watching the kids, and in fact she'd like to call and check on them. PM says her kid too, please. RoboPop looks at PM funny, and she self-consciously puts her hands over her extremely short skirt. He asks, where is the father of your child? She says she's a single mother.
Mom interrupts this Spanish inquisition. Enough questions already! (I assume Juana wouldn't have had much to say.) Surprisingly, RoboPop says something nice about "solteras" (single women), and the ladies drink a toast. "Feas for life!"
They make small talk for a while. RoboPop wants to know how they came to call themselves "el cuartel de las feas." They say Luigi came up with that name, and Pop says they're all very pretty, what sort of person is this Luigi Lombardi? This elicits some evasive answers, and they start talking about other things, all still sitting around awkwardly (Lety actually is still holding her pocketbook). Finally PM asks, is this a party for adults or for children? RoboPop says what, you mean you want liquor? He is clearly not crazy about his daughter hanging around with all these loose women, but he loosens up himself as the evening goes on, and begins sharing his tequila.
He also starts sharing his music. It's old stuff, not terrible but not quite appropriate for Lety's birthday party either. It's like the Mexican equivalent of Bing Crosby, more or less. Zzzzzzz. Mom tries to get him to change it, but he's adamant. He also wants to know where the heck is Fern. Lety stammers, since she never claimed that he was coming in the first place. She privately tells Mom that Fern indeed is coming over later - to take her out to dinner for her birthday - and she needs Mom's help to get people out of there by 10.
Fern and Omar go to a bar, already drooling at the sight of all the beautiful women. Marcia sends Alicia in after them to observe, since Alicia is the expert on spying. After Alicia leaves, Marcia adjusts her hat in the rearview mirror.
Alicia calls Marcia to tell her that F and O do not have any women with them. Marcia almost seems disappointed. Alicia reports that they are looking at a photo (it's the photo of the model that Fern carries with him for inspiration when kissing Lety). Alicia moves in closer for a better look. Just then, Fern turns around - he's complaining to Omar that he has to spend time with Lety tonight instead of one of the hot chicks in this bar - but a pretty girl suddenly sticks her face right between Fern and Alicia, so her cover isn't blown.
Fern and Omar are chatting so intently, their heads so close together, that Alicia tells Marcia that they are kissing. Being the gullible person she is, Marcia thinks it's time to give him a call. He panics when he realizes that Marcia is calling him, but Omar tells him to answer. Fern tells Marcia that he's at Lety's party, and Marcia says that she's at home.
Alicia finishes her drink and tries to leave, but she is accosted by a waiter who wants 200 pesos. (Nearly $20, so I hope it was a good drink.) She says she has lost her money, and whines and begs for mercy. Meanwhile, Omar and Fern are having a pretend-fistfight and don't see the commotion. Then Omar and Fern realize it's time to go, and Fern nearly trips over Alicia on his way out, but her back is to them as she struggles with the waiter. Fern, who has a good buzz on and should not be driving, tells Alicia and the waiter they shouldn't be dancing there. She hurriedly puts a tablecloth over her head.
Fern and Omar agree on an alibi for the evening. Omar is going to remain at the bar. Fern wants to leave, but Alicia (covered in a tablecloth) is blocking his path. He scolds and grabs at this weird person who won't pay her bill, and the waiter helplessly twirls his finger around his ear in the universal "she's nuts" gesture. Fern expresses his thoughts about people who don't pay their bills (not even realizing it's Alicia!), gesturing wildly. Omar mimics his gestures in the background.
Fern leaves the bar and gets into his car. Marcia is furious that Alicia is not there. Still inside the bar, Alicia takes off the tablecloth and puts it over the waiter's head. She tries to make her escape, but the waiter manages to grab her and haul her back in. She accuses him of being handsy, and kicks him in the nuts and runs away with the tablecloth.
Omar can't get a good look at Alicia in all the chaos, but he certainly sees what happens to the waiter. His usually-pained facial expression becomes even more pained-looking. Omar turns his attention to the pretty woman Fern had startled earlier (she had been helping the waiter to his feet). He apologizes for his friend's behavior and starts flirting with her.
Alicia gets in the car with her tablecloth and tells Marcia James Bond had much better funding (something along those lines). Marcia tells Alicia about her call to Fern. The waiter comes out looking for Alicia, and they take off.
Back at the party, RoboPop's music is still playing. The women have had a bit to drink. The doorbell rings, and it's Saimon and Celso (wearing regular clothes, a real improvement over Celso's uniform, not that I have a big crush on him or anything). Saimon gives Lety a big hug, which alarms RoboPop, who thinks that his daughter's beauty could actually drive a man to rape her right in front of her family. He calls him a dog. Saimon then does a silly dance and kisses Mom's feet. He hands out what appear to be invisible flowers to all the women. Mom is charmed. Pop is still a bit grumpy.
Saimon entertains the group with dancing and silly stories. Pop shares his tequila with Saimon and Celso. Pop is offended that no one likes his music, but agrees to change it, as long as they're VERY careful with his junky little CD player.
Saimon looks at Celso. "Merengue?" he asks. Celso replies, "I'm Celso, don't call me Merengue!" Har! Through gritted teeth, Lety asks her friends if Saimon and Celso know they need to leave at 10. They say no. Saimon, Celso, and RoboPop dance some more.
Meanwhile, Tomas has been playing keno for a while. He has so many cards in front of him he can barely keep up with all the numbers being called. Before long, he runs out of money and starts asking other people to buy him a card. He searches through his pockets one last time and turns up a 10 peso coin. That's like a dollar. It's enough for one card. Big surprise, Tomas wins. I think he says it's enough money to pay his cell phone bill, and then some. The old dudes and the bimbo want him to stay (now that he has money), but he pays for their drinks and says he needs to get to Lety's party. The bimbo looks disgusted.
As the night goes on, the party improves. There's a conga line in the living room. Martha stares longingly at the food. Dad is boring the hell out of Irma, who listens politely while he drones on about the good old days. Lety worries that Fern won't show up, or that they'll all still be there when he arrives.
They've run out of tequila. Dad says don't worry, he'll get more. Lety protests. She wants everyone to leave. She even says goodbye. The feas agree, remembering Lety's plans with her novio. Martha calls home and asks her husband to come get her. But Saimon says no, the party's just getting started! And PM says she wants to meet Tomas.
The phone rings. It's Fern. He wants Lety to come out to the car - he's just down the street (or around the corner). When she says no, the party's still going on, he tries to weasel out of their date. She says no, I'll be out in 15 minutes. He tries to weasel again and she says 10 minutes. After they hang up, he tries to take a nap in his car. Lucy and Ethel park right behind him. They converse so loudly, it's a wonder they don't wake him up.
On his way back from the liquor store, RoboPop recognizes Fern's car, and Fern inside. Fern is nearly speechless with surprise. Pop pretty much insists that Fern go to the house. He gets in the car, and Fern drives them to the house. Lucy and Ethel gape. They are confused by this development. Alicia is fascinated - she tells Marcia she's been thinking maybe he's leading a double life. (She says something about cartél de sur, and señor de las nieves: is she saying she thinks he's a coke dealer?) Marcia cuts her off impatiently. They follow behind Fern and RoboPop.
Inside the house, Lety is still trying to get everyone to leave. Fern nearly runs away when he sees the crowd inside. He tells RoboPop that they all need to get up early tomorrow, but Pop is excited about all the booze he's bought. He sits Fern down and pours him a drink. Fern has to pull his cup away to get Pop to stop pouring. The feas worry that Fern's presence will make it difficult for Lety to sneak away with her novio. Hahaha. If only they knew.
Alicia speculates that it's a house of SIDAS (AIDS), i.e. a brothel. Marcia says he's not that kind of man, but she still wants Alicia to check it out. Alicia says, how? Marcia says, though her patented gritted teeth, "through the window."
A: Me??
M: Yes, you, the professional spy.
Alicia protests. It's much too dangerous. What if they catch her? Marcia says fine, then let's go home. Alicia changes her tune. She heads out with the tablecloth over her head. She tells Marcia it's a turban. Marcia looks a bit stunned (this would be a good time to blink).
Alicia peeps through the window. RoboPop is giving his guests, especially Fern, a tour of Lety's many diplomas. It is a very lengthy tour, and Fern is tense. So tense, he inadvertently pops the balloon he's holding.
The alcohol has been flowing freely, and it's a little chaotic in there. Martha looks out the window - she's waiting for her husband to show up - and sees Alicia (in sunglasses, so Martha doesn't recognize her). She screams, and Alicia runs away. She runs into Mr. Martha, Martha's kids, and PM Jr.
Mr. Martha asks Tablecloth Woman if she's all right. Alicia babbles about Mecca and nirvana and Allah. Yeah, nirvana was definitely a stroke of brilliance. *roll* Mr. Martha and the kids go into the house, and Alicia scurries back to the car.
Alicia tells Marcia she's confirmed it... it's a house of SIDAS. Marcia gapes. She can't believe it. Yes, Alicia continues, it's full of witches... the whole cuartel. Marcia says oh, you scared me. So this is really Lety's home? Yes, Alicia says, Fern was telling the truth. Let's go. But Marcia feels that something is amiss. She wants to hang around a little longer.
Some men pass their car. It is Tomas, Sanchez, the other guy, and a band. Lucy and Ethel don't know any of them, and Alicia really wants to leave. Marcia wants to stay. Tomas tells the band to sing.
Lety frets. She does not want Tomas or the band to come in. Meanwhile, the kids are in the kitchen with the food. They have spilled some salsa. RoboPop drunkenly talks Fern's ear off. Occasionally he starts to pass out, and Fern tries to slip away, but RoboPop always revives just in time to keep Fern nearby.
Sure that the hunger has made her crazy, Martha goes into the kitchen to sneak a snack behind the refrigerator (not literally behind it, but on the side that's opposite the living room so no one can see). Remember, if no one sees you eat, it can't make you fat! The kids try to replace the salsa they've spilled by cutting up some more peppers.
Lety goes outside to do some damage control. Sanchez wants to discuss Conceptos with her. Lety is upset with Tomas for bringing them. Watching from a distance, too far away to hear anything, Lucy and Ethel are just confused.
Lety shushes the singers. She is very angry. Sanchez and his colleague sing Felicidades. She tells Tomas he CANNOT go in the house.
Tomas is very hurt. He has put on a good suit and brought her roses and a band, and this place is like his second home... why can't he go in? I feel pretty badly for him too! I think this is very crappy of Lety!
They move down the street a bit, so no one in the house can hear them. They argue. He wants to go inside and meet Fern. Also wants to know if Alicia is in there. He keeps heading towards the house, she keeps hooking his arm and pulling him back. To Sanchez and his friend, it looks as if they are dancing. They start dancing drunkenly too. Lety is frantic. Alicia and Marcia can't make any sense of what they are seeing! They wonder where Lety's much-vaunted novio is. Surely he can't be that dorky guy who's holding the flowers and dancing with Lety?
In desperation, Lety tells (or reminds) Tomas ALL about the relationship between Conceptos and their shadow company (all the details he isn't supposed to know), just how dangerous the situation is if people find out about it. He agrees to go along with her and he gets the band to serenade her in the street. (They're very good.) Lety thanks Tomas and hugs him. She gives back the flowers, and they joke that there will be no kisses. Sanchez still wants to talk about Conceptos, but she goes back to the house.
Fern and RoboPop are both very drunk. Fern is still trying to get away, but Pop won't stay passed out long enough. He tells Fern that his child is very beautiful. Fern asks to inspect Pop's glasses.
The feas are very impressed by the serenade that Lety's boyfriend sent her. They're all sort of snockered at this point. Celso is half asleep. They discuss how they will get home. Saimon was supposed to take Celso home on his bike, but Celso can't be on a bike in his condition.
Mom goes to the kitchen to get Fern something to eat. She sees Martha and assumes that Martha has been supervising the kids with the knives and the chilis. Martha tells Mom that it's all very delicious. Mom fixes Fern a goody of some kind and drizzles the nuclear-powered salsa all over it. He tries to decline it politely, but she insists. There is a moment of high suspense as the kids watch nervously. Each time Fern tries to take a bite, RoboPop or Mom interrupts him to say something, and he has to put down the food to listen politely. Oh, the pain of good manners. Eventually, though, the delays end and he takes a bite. He chews, he swallows, he dabs at his mouth with a napkin.
And suddenly, he looks unwell. He panics. He tries to douse the fire with tequila. (For the record, gentle readers, DAIRY is what you need to put out the fire. Dairy. Milk, yogurt, sour cream, ice cream. Not sure about cheese.) He runs into the bathroom.
The party breaks up (finally). They all pile into taxis, except for PM - she has somehow convinced Saimon to let her have the coveted extra spot on his bike! (But first, she makes Lety promise to tell her tomorrow all about her hot date.) PM and Saimon zoom away, with her murmuring in his ear.
Fern's tongue is all swollen, and he's talking funny. They suspect it was the salsa. Fern now has a great excuse not to take Lety out, but RoboPop is still babbling. He shakes Fern's hand, and Mom puts him to bed. Fern tries to get out of her date, but Lety is heartbroken. She says okay, if it's not convenient... I am frankly kind of amazed that she'd still demand a date from him, given that it's so late and he's sick, but go figure. She's so pitiful that he agrees to take her out after all.
Alicia is struggling to stay awake, but Marcia has noticed that everyone has left the house. Even Lety had come outside, saying goodbye to her friends, but now she's back in the house. They wonder what happened to Fern? They are staring so intently at the house, they don't notice the neighborhood gang sneaking up on their car, peering inside, looking at their chicken legs... and then the gang yells, "HOLA!!!"
I think you'll agree that's a good way to wrap up the week. Do NOT miss Monday night's episode! You will be sooooo sorry if you do!
I'm still making a lot of mistakes, and I'll correct them when they're important. Three corrections to note at this time:
- According to the Esmas and/or Univision recaps, Alicia owns a half-million pesos on her apartment, not her car. Weird - I really thought she said "coche." Not sure if this matters, since she probably owes money on her car too.
Update (nearly two years later): The Esmas and/or Univision recaps were wrong... it was definitely her car. - The stack of invitations Carolina gave to Marcia were for some publicity event, not Marcia and Fernando's wedding. I just made an assumption, remembering Ana Leticia's unfortunate attempt at wedding invitations, that Marcia had asked Carolina to take care of them.
- Worst of all, I screwed up a Handy Vocabulary Word: "partición de vienes." That might mean "parting of the ways" - I wouldn't know. What they actually talked about was "partición de bienes" - that's "splitting up the goods." (I know "bien" is the adverb for "good," but I didn't realize it was also a noun.) It's a divorce settlement. I wondered why Irma seemed so grimly pleased when she said that to Yazmin. It's because she thinks Lola's going to crush El Cheque. Clearly, Yazmin thinks otherwise. Nice to know she uses her brain for something other than filling out her skull, even if it is for evil purposes.
Moving on, here are some vocabulary words for this past week, none of which I'm sure of, so in this case I'm asking you, not telling you:
- Nieves: Literally snow, but in this context maybe slang for cocaine?
- Cogotón: Not in my dictionary, but according to my google search it's "a blow to the head." That doesn't make sense in the contexts that Alicia is saying it, so either I'm hearing her wrong, or there's a colloquial/idiomatic meaning I'm not aware of. Or maybe it's just a case of Alicia not making any sense.
Update (nearly two years later): The words I heard Alicia use, but didn't yet have the benefit of closed captions to understand, were "tlacoyo bigoton." "Bigoton" refers to whiskers; and according to wikipedia, a tlacoyo is a stuffed corncake. This fits in with Alicia's other food-themed nicknames for Lety.
Interestingly, on the DVD with English captions, the translator chose "opossum" instead. The Spanish word for opossum is "zarigüeya," which isn't even close. The Nahuatl word for opossum is "tlacuache" or "Tlacuatzin" which is a bit closer, but it's definitely not the word that Alicia was using. - Pulgiento: Fleabitten? Flea-infested? I think it's something about fleas.
- Emagrace Slim: An annoying weight-loss product that makes me really grateful that I'm taping the show so I can fast-forward through their extremely obnoxious ad.
Mom is very excited about Lety's party. RoboPop is looking at the mail and discovers Filmo Imagen's cell phone bill is 3000 pesos (around $290 I believe)! He alerts Tomas, who realizes the calls must have been made by that bimbo who "borrowed" his phone. (He is wearing a fairly decent-looking suit, at least it's an improvement over his usual Members Only-looking jacket, with another short, fat, dorky necktie. What is with the short, fat, dorky ties?) He goes out to investigate (after helping himself to some of the food Mom's prepared for the party).
He goes to the bar where he typically meets with the two old dudes, the older of whom is apparently named Sanchez. They show up, plead ignorance and order drinks.
Back at the office, Martha is inviting seemingly everyone in the world to Lety's party, which worries Lety. Remember, she wants everyone out of there by 10 so she can go out on a hot date with her boyfriend. Luigi comes out of his office and complains that it looks like a scene from Planet of the Apes. Irma asks if she can leave to go to Lety's party (I guess it's just a little bit early). Luigi complains but evidently doesn't forbid it.
The feas go en masse to the restroom, where they encounter Alicia. Sara says something to Alicia about having chicken legs. Um, if that's what chicken legs look like, then I would like to have chicken legs too. Alicia says she'd rather be alone than go Lety's party. Marcia comes in to see what the ruckus is, and Alicia tattles to her that they're not invited. Martha says not true, Al is not invited, but Marcia is. (OMG, are we in third grade??) Lety tells Marcia sure, you're welcome at my house any time. Marcia says that certainly is an attractive offer, but she'd prefer to stay home. She exits the bathroom. Alicia makes a crack about pinatas and leaves.
PM says that she misses Eduardo. (So do I.) They agree that he brought lots of joy.
You'll recall that Luigi treated Alicia to lunch earlier this week. That's because she had told him that she had won the bet over Eduardo. When Luigi found out that wasn't true, he wanted his money back. Of course, Alicia has no money to give him, so Luigi asks her to do him a favor. She is hardly in any position to refuse, but she protests when she discovers that he wants her to watch his dog for a little while. After he leaves the dog with her, she tries to make small talk with it. (Poor doggie!)
Fernando tells Marcia that he's going to Lety's birthday party tonight. She is incredulous, but she doesn't argue with him, since she and Alicia have already planned to follow him (Alicia even rented a car and bought "disguises").
Alicia leaves the dog at her desk to meet with Marcia in her office. Marcia tells Alicia that Fern plans to go to Lety's party. Alicia complains that the feas have been talking about it all afternoon, but she's obviously very excited about the spying they'll be doing tonight! She also complains about Luigi's "pulgiento (?) perro... perra... gay."
Alicia returns to her desk and finds that the dog has torn apart her designer purse and destroyed a lot of its contents - makeup and such, some of which she got on a trip to Miami. She flips out. Luigi catches her scolding the dog ("maldita!") and taunts her. He sings a little song "Chicka-da-boom, bombita. La diva, la diva, ay que bonita," followed by a Howard Dean-like howl. He says now they are even. Marcia reminds Alicia they have an important thing to do. Luigi seems intrigued.
Meanwhile, Omar and Fern decide they'll hang out at a bar until it's time to pick up Lety at 10. Fern needs to liquor himself up for the occasion.
On their way out, the feas run into Saimon and Yazmin. PM wants Lety to invite Saimon, and Lety agrees. Saimon sings "happy boorday to yo," very cute. Lety invites him, and he invites Yazmin. Y politely declines and the feas very vocally fail to express disappointment. Saimon is excited about the party. They all crowd onto the elevator, and Yazmin is shoved out. (From the look on her face, I can't tell whether the character is pouting, or the actress is laughing!)
Waiting outside a little while later, Lola and Yazmin bicker about the car again. Yazmin gives Saimon another air-kiss, which thrills him. Wow. Talk about a low-maintenance guy, huh? Celso (on whom I have a tremendous crush) gets the feas a taxi, and Yazmin gets picked up by El Cheque... who is wearing NO neck brace, and NO cast! She nags him some more about the house, which apparently belongs to Lola's family.
Alicia and Marcia have donned their disguises (black trenchcoats, black fedoras, and sunglasses) and head out to their rental car, which I believe is a BMW. They are just in time to see Fern leave, then Omar. Lucy and Ethel follow. Surprisingly, they do not giggle. Perhaps they're giggling inside.
Back at the bar, Sanchez and his friend have been drinking. They ask something about Lety and do some babbling. Tomas is sorry to interrupt their interesting story, but he wants to know who the chick is. He waves the phone bill around and mentions the 3000 pesos again. They take him to another place, where he momentarily thinks he sees Alicia. He taps the woman on the shoulder, but it's not her (she's way too short, for one thing). Anyway, the bimbo who "borrowed" his phone works at this bar. When she sees him, she tries to run out! He grabs her and tells her she needs to pay his phone bill.
I'm not sure exactly how their conversation goes, but it's clear that he's not going to be getting any money out of her. He, she, Sanchez, and the other guy shoot some pool for a while, but Tomas still wants to talk about money. The bimbo tries to distract him by climbing onto the pool table and groping him. I think the old guys suggest a wager on a game of pool, but Tomas has only 200 pesos on him (less than $20) and he still needs to get something for Lety's birthday. Winning at pool will not make him the money he needs. Just then, there is a shout - another bar patron has won 1000 pesos playing keno. Tomas thinks this might be his big chance to make his money back. (I'm not clear on his logic, exactly...)
The feas have arrived at Lety's house. First thing RoboPop says when he sees them is hey, it's the women who got my daughter drunk. Mom protests. RoboPop then asks where their husbands are this evening. Irma says she's separated. She doesn't know if her ex is alive or dead. Lola: Also separated. RoboPop asks, are you all separated? (Hmm, I wonder why this family doesn't entertain more often?) Sara says she hasn't had the pleasure. Martha says she's happily married, and her husband is home watching the kids, and in fact she'd like to call and check on them. PM says her kid too, please. RoboPop looks at PM funny, and she self-consciously puts her hands over her extremely short skirt. He asks, where is the father of your child? She says she's a single mother.
Mom interrupts this Spanish inquisition. Enough questions already! (I assume Juana wouldn't have had much to say.) Surprisingly, RoboPop says something nice about "solteras" (single women), and the ladies drink a toast. "Feas for life!"
They make small talk for a while. RoboPop wants to know how they came to call themselves "el cuartel de las feas." They say Luigi came up with that name, and Pop says they're all very pretty, what sort of person is this Luigi Lombardi? This elicits some evasive answers, and they start talking about other things, all still sitting around awkwardly (Lety actually is still holding her pocketbook). Finally PM asks, is this a party for adults or for children? RoboPop says what, you mean you want liquor? He is clearly not crazy about his daughter hanging around with all these loose women, but he loosens up himself as the evening goes on, and begins sharing his tequila.
He also starts sharing his music. It's old stuff, not terrible but not quite appropriate for Lety's birthday party either. It's like the Mexican equivalent of Bing Crosby, more or less. Zzzzzzz. Mom tries to get him to change it, but he's adamant. He also wants to know where the heck is Fern. Lety stammers, since she never claimed that he was coming in the first place. She privately tells Mom that Fern indeed is coming over later - to take her out to dinner for her birthday - and she needs Mom's help to get people out of there by 10.
Fern and Omar go to a bar, already drooling at the sight of all the beautiful women. Marcia sends Alicia in after them to observe, since Alicia is the expert on spying. After Alicia leaves, Marcia adjusts her hat in the rearview mirror.
Alicia calls Marcia to tell her that F and O do not have any women with them. Marcia almost seems disappointed. Alicia reports that they are looking at a photo (it's the photo of the model that Fern carries with him for inspiration when kissing Lety). Alicia moves in closer for a better look. Just then, Fern turns around - he's complaining to Omar that he has to spend time with Lety tonight instead of one of the hot chicks in this bar - but a pretty girl suddenly sticks her face right between Fern and Alicia, so her cover isn't blown.
Fern and Omar are chatting so intently, their heads so close together, that Alicia tells Marcia that they are kissing. Being the gullible person she is, Marcia thinks it's time to give him a call. He panics when he realizes that Marcia is calling him, but Omar tells him to answer. Fern tells Marcia that he's at Lety's party, and Marcia says that she's at home.
Alicia finishes her drink and tries to leave, but she is accosted by a waiter who wants 200 pesos. (Nearly $20, so I hope it was a good drink.) She says she has lost her money, and whines and begs for mercy. Meanwhile, Omar and Fern are having a pretend-fistfight and don't see the commotion. Then Omar and Fern realize it's time to go, and Fern nearly trips over Alicia on his way out, but her back is to them as she struggles with the waiter. Fern, who has a good buzz on and should not be driving, tells Alicia and the waiter they shouldn't be dancing there. She hurriedly puts a tablecloth over her head.
Fern and Omar agree on an alibi for the evening. Omar is going to remain at the bar. Fern wants to leave, but Alicia (covered in a tablecloth) is blocking his path. He scolds and grabs at this weird person who won't pay her bill, and the waiter helplessly twirls his finger around his ear in the universal "she's nuts" gesture. Fern expresses his thoughts about people who don't pay their bills (not even realizing it's Alicia!), gesturing wildly. Omar mimics his gestures in the background.
Fern leaves the bar and gets into his car. Marcia is furious that Alicia is not there. Still inside the bar, Alicia takes off the tablecloth and puts it over the waiter's head. She tries to make her escape, but the waiter manages to grab her and haul her back in. She accuses him of being handsy, and kicks him in the nuts and runs away with the tablecloth.
Omar can't get a good look at Alicia in all the chaos, but he certainly sees what happens to the waiter. His usually-pained facial expression becomes even more pained-looking. Omar turns his attention to the pretty woman Fern had startled earlier (she had been helping the waiter to his feet). He apologizes for his friend's behavior and starts flirting with her.
Alicia gets in the car with her tablecloth and tells Marcia James Bond had much better funding (something along those lines). Marcia tells Alicia about her call to Fern. The waiter comes out looking for Alicia, and they take off.
Back at the party, RoboPop's music is still playing. The women have had a bit to drink. The doorbell rings, and it's Saimon and Celso (wearing regular clothes, a real improvement over Celso's uniform, not that I have a big crush on him or anything). Saimon gives Lety a big hug, which alarms RoboPop, who thinks that his daughter's beauty could actually drive a man to rape her right in front of her family. He calls him a dog. Saimon then does a silly dance and kisses Mom's feet. He hands out what appear to be invisible flowers to all the women. Mom is charmed. Pop is still a bit grumpy.
Saimon entertains the group with dancing and silly stories. Pop shares his tequila with Saimon and Celso. Pop is offended that no one likes his music, but agrees to change it, as long as they're VERY careful with his junky little CD player.
Saimon looks at Celso. "Merengue?" he asks. Celso replies, "I'm Celso, don't call me Merengue!" Har! Through gritted teeth, Lety asks her friends if Saimon and Celso know they need to leave at 10. They say no. Saimon, Celso, and RoboPop dance some more.
Meanwhile, Tomas has been playing keno for a while. He has so many cards in front of him he can barely keep up with all the numbers being called. Before long, he runs out of money and starts asking other people to buy him a card. He searches through his pockets one last time and turns up a 10 peso coin. That's like a dollar. It's enough for one card. Big surprise, Tomas wins. I think he says it's enough money to pay his cell phone bill, and then some. The old dudes and the bimbo want him to stay (now that he has money), but he pays for their drinks and says he needs to get to Lety's party. The bimbo looks disgusted.
As the night goes on, the party improves. There's a conga line in the living room. Martha stares longingly at the food. Dad is boring the hell out of Irma, who listens politely while he drones on about the good old days. Lety worries that Fern won't show up, or that they'll all still be there when he arrives.
They've run out of tequila. Dad says don't worry, he'll get more. Lety protests. She wants everyone to leave. She even says goodbye. The feas agree, remembering Lety's plans with her novio. Martha calls home and asks her husband to come get her. But Saimon says no, the party's just getting started! And PM says she wants to meet Tomas.
The phone rings. It's Fern. He wants Lety to come out to the car - he's just down the street (or around the corner). When she says no, the party's still going on, he tries to weasel out of their date. She says no, I'll be out in 15 minutes. He tries to weasel again and she says 10 minutes. After they hang up, he tries to take a nap in his car. Lucy and Ethel park right behind him. They converse so loudly, it's a wonder they don't wake him up.
On his way back from the liquor store, RoboPop recognizes Fern's car, and Fern inside. Fern is nearly speechless with surprise. Pop pretty much insists that Fern go to the house. He gets in the car, and Fern drives them to the house. Lucy and Ethel gape. They are confused by this development. Alicia is fascinated - she tells Marcia she's been thinking maybe he's leading a double life. (She says something about cartél de sur, and señor de las nieves: is she saying she thinks he's a coke dealer?) Marcia cuts her off impatiently. They follow behind Fern and RoboPop.
Inside the house, Lety is still trying to get everyone to leave. Fern nearly runs away when he sees the crowd inside. He tells RoboPop that they all need to get up early tomorrow, but Pop is excited about all the booze he's bought. He sits Fern down and pours him a drink. Fern has to pull his cup away to get Pop to stop pouring. The feas worry that Fern's presence will make it difficult for Lety to sneak away with her novio. Hahaha. If only they knew.
Alicia speculates that it's a house of SIDAS (AIDS), i.e. a brothel. Marcia says he's not that kind of man, but she still wants Alicia to check it out. Alicia says, how? Marcia says, though her patented gritted teeth, "through the window."
A: Me??
M: Yes, you, the professional spy.
Alicia protests. It's much too dangerous. What if they catch her? Marcia says fine, then let's go home. Alicia changes her tune. She heads out with the tablecloth over her head. She tells Marcia it's a turban. Marcia looks a bit stunned (this would be a good time to blink).
Alicia peeps through the window. RoboPop is giving his guests, especially Fern, a tour of Lety's many diplomas. It is a very lengthy tour, and Fern is tense. So tense, he inadvertently pops the balloon he's holding.
The alcohol has been flowing freely, and it's a little chaotic in there. Martha looks out the window - she's waiting for her husband to show up - and sees Alicia (in sunglasses, so Martha doesn't recognize her). She screams, and Alicia runs away. She runs into Mr. Martha, Martha's kids, and PM Jr.
Mr. Martha asks Tablecloth Woman if she's all right. Alicia babbles about Mecca and nirvana and Allah. Yeah, nirvana was definitely a stroke of brilliance. *roll* Mr. Martha and the kids go into the house, and Alicia scurries back to the car.
Alicia tells Marcia she's confirmed it... it's a house of SIDAS. Marcia gapes. She can't believe it. Yes, Alicia continues, it's full of witches... the whole cuartel. Marcia says oh, you scared me. So this is really Lety's home? Yes, Alicia says, Fern was telling the truth. Let's go. But Marcia feels that something is amiss. She wants to hang around a little longer.
Some men pass their car. It is Tomas, Sanchez, the other guy, and a band. Lucy and Ethel don't know any of them, and Alicia really wants to leave. Marcia wants to stay. Tomas tells the band to sing.
Lety frets. She does not want Tomas or the band to come in. Meanwhile, the kids are in the kitchen with the food. They have spilled some salsa. RoboPop drunkenly talks Fern's ear off. Occasionally he starts to pass out, and Fern tries to slip away, but RoboPop always revives just in time to keep Fern nearby.
Sure that the hunger has made her crazy, Martha goes into the kitchen to sneak a snack behind the refrigerator (not literally behind it, but on the side that's opposite the living room so no one can see). Remember, if no one sees you eat, it can't make you fat! The kids try to replace the salsa they've spilled by cutting up some more peppers.
Lety goes outside to do some damage control. Sanchez wants to discuss Conceptos with her. Lety is upset with Tomas for bringing them. Watching from a distance, too far away to hear anything, Lucy and Ethel are just confused.
Lety shushes the singers. She is very angry. Sanchez and his colleague sing Felicidades. She tells Tomas he CANNOT go in the house.
Tomas is very hurt. He has put on a good suit and brought her roses and a band, and this place is like his second home... why can't he go in? I feel pretty badly for him too! I think this is very crappy of Lety!
They move down the street a bit, so no one in the house can hear them. They argue. He wants to go inside and meet Fern. Also wants to know if Alicia is in there. He keeps heading towards the house, she keeps hooking his arm and pulling him back. To Sanchez and his friend, it looks as if they are dancing. They start dancing drunkenly too. Lety is frantic. Alicia and Marcia can't make any sense of what they are seeing! They wonder where Lety's much-vaunted novio is. Surely he can't be that dorky guy who's holding the flowers and dancing with Lety?
In desperation, Lety tells (or reminds) Tomas ALL about the relationship between Conceptos and their shadow company (all the details he isn't supposed to know), just how dangerous the situation is if people find out about it. He agrees to go along with her and he gets the band to serenade her in the street. (They're very good.) Lety thanks Tomas and hugs him. She gives back the flowers, and they joke that there will be no kisses. Sanchez still wants to talk about Conceptos, but she goes back to the house.
Fern and RoboPop are both very drunk. Fern is still trying to get away, but Pop won't stay passed out long enough. He tells Fern that his child is very beautiful. Fern asks to inspect Pop's glasses.
The feas are very impressed by the serenade that Lety's boyfriend sent her. They're all sort of snockered at this point. Celso is half asleep. They discuss how they will get home. Saimon was supposed to take Celso home on his bike, but Celso can't be on a bike in his condition.
Mom goes to the kitchen to get Fern something to eat. She sees Martha and assumes that Martha has been supervising the kids with the knives and the chilis. Martha tells Mom that it's all very delicious. Mom fixes Fern a goody of some kind and drizzles the nuclear-powered salsa all over it. He tries to decline it politely, but she insists. There is a moment of high suspense as the kids watch nervously. Each time Fern tries to take a bite, RoboPop or Mom interrupts him to say something, and he has to put down the food to listen politely. Oh, the pain of good manners. Eventually, though, the delays end and he takes a bite. He chews, he swallows, he dabs at his mouth with a napkin.
And suddenly, he looks unwell. He panics. He tries to douse the fire with tequila. (For the record, gentle readers, DAIRY is what you need to put out the fire. Dairy. Milk, yogurt, sour cream, ice cream. Not sure about cheese.) He runs into the bathroom.
The party breaks up (finally). They all pile into taxis, except for PM - she has somehow convinced Saimon to let her have the coveted extra spot on his bike! (But first, she makes Lety promise to tell her tomorrow all about her hot date.) PM and Saimon zoom away, with her murmuring in his ear.
Fern's tongue is all swollen, and he's talking funny. They suspect it was the salsa. Fern now has a great excuse not to take Lety out, but RoboPop is still babbling. He shakes Fern's hand, and Mom puts him to bed. Fern tries to get out of her date, but Lety is heartbroken. She says okay, if it's not convenient... I am frankly kind of amazed that she'd still demand a date from him, given that it's so late and he's sick, but go figure. She's so pitiful that he agrees to take her out after all.
Alicia is struggling to stay awake, but Marcia has noticed that everyone has left the house. Even Lety had come outside, saying goodbye to her friends, but now she's back in the house. They wonder what happened to Fern? They are staring so intently at the house, they don't notice the neighborhood gang sneaking up on their car, peering inside, looking at their chicken legs... and then the gang yells, "HOLA!!!"
I think you'll agree that's a good way to wrap up the week. Do NOT miss Monday night's episode! You will be sooooo sorry if you do!
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Thank you Julie! I look forward to your comments each week! I agree, it was the neverending party. I think Fernando does pretty good with the silly/slapstick scenes like the swollen tongue from the salsa. Keep up the good work!!!
Permalink posted by 
: Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 6:06:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 6:06:00 PM EDT
Thanks Julie!
I can't wait 'til Monday.
I can't wait 'til Monday.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 10:58:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 10:58:00 PM EDT
Thanks Julie!
I can't wait 'til Monday.
I can't wait 'til Monday.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:06:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:06:00 PM EDT
I didn't get a chance to see the party episode, but I wish I had. It's possible that the music Robo-Pops is playing is his own. The actor, Jose Jose, was a really popular ballad singer in his day (especially the late 70s through the 80s). He was called "El Principe". It would be funny if he is playing his own music, and mom is telling him to turn it off because it's passe. I can't believe they would pass up that bit of humor, which would certainly amuse anyone in Mexico.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:41:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 11:41:00 PM EDT
Wow, thanks for that info. In that case, I'd be disappointed if the music wasn't him! It seems a lot older than the late 70s, though.
Excellent recap....
I am totally enamored with this Novela....
It was actually pretty bizarre watching the BD Party in real time as it went on a good 3 days...Now I am ready for the big payoff
I am totally enamored with this Novela....
It was actually pretty bizarre watching the BD Party in real time as it went on a good 3 days...Now I am ready for the big payoff
Permalink posted by : Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:48:00 AM EDT
: Monday, August 21, 2006 at 10:48:00 AM EDT
Great Recap! It would've been great o have Jose Jose songs playing, but alas, no. The songs were much older then that. Gotta agree that Fernando is also halarious in every episode. His facial contortions and pratfalls are great. I bet he watched a lot of John Ritter in Three's Company episodes to prepare for this novela. My mom says this guy gets a lot of flack as a singer/actor because he comes from a well-to-do family, i.e. they think he bought his way into a career. But really, I think he's doing a great job here!
Permalink posted by : Monday, August 21, 2006 at 11:37:00 AM EDT
: Monday, August 21, 2006 at 11:37:00 AM EDT
I agree - I was actually thinking "Jack Tripper" when he was stumbling around and doing the tongue thing. And Omar often reminds me of Larry from Three's Company.
I think most of the actors on this show are fantastic. The only exception among the major characters MIGHT be the one who plays Marcia. I'm not saying she isn't good, just that this show might not be the best vehicle for whatever talents she may have. They don't give her much to do except be jealous or sarcastic. She never gets to be funny. Kind of a thankless position to be in!
I'm also not sure Paula Maria is an awesome actress. She is okay, but not brilliant (at least not in this role). I think she was cast for reasons other than her thespian abilities.
As for the lesser characters, Luigi steals every scene he's in, and when he's with Alicia, the two of them are deadly. I also think Yazmin is hilarious. Saimon is quite a star too.
On the other hand, I often sense that Jose Jose is reading his lines right off of a card. Still, I think he was a good choice for Lety's dad.
I think most of the actors on this show are fantastic. The only exception among the major characters MIGHT be the one who plays Marcia. I'm not saying she isn't good, just that this show might not be the best vehicle for whatever talents she may have. They don't give her much to do except be jealous or sarcastic. She never gets to be funny. Kind of a thankless position to be in!
I'm also not sure Paula Maria is an awesome actress. She is okay, but not brilliant (at least not in this role). I think she was cast for reasons other than her thespian abilities.
As for the lesser characters, Luigi steals every scene he's in, and when he's with Alicia, the two of them are deadly. I also think Yazmin is hilarious. Saimon is quite a star too.
On the other hand, I often sense that Jose Jose is reading his lines right off of a card. Still, I think he was a good choice for Lety's dad.
Thanks for the recaps! They're always fun to read. I don't speak Spanish, but I stopped on this show and found it so funny visually that I had to keep watching. It's nice to know what's actually going on!
Permalink posted by : Monday, August 21, 2006 at 1:10:00 PM EDT
: Monday, August 21, 2006 at 1:10:00 PM EDT
Once again, kudos to you! Your efforts are much appreciated by those of us who speak limited Spanish. The detail is terrific, as is your somewhat wry sense of humor.
Permalink posted by : Monday, August 21, 2006 at 2:16:00 PM EDT
: Monday, August 21, 2006 at 2:16:00 PM EDT
Thank you Julie for your comments and recaps. They are very helpful.
Dairy - huh? I always thought it was bread that helps put out the jalapeno heat.
J.R. :)
Dairy - huh? I always thought it was bread that helps put out the jalapeno heat.
J.R. :)
Permalink posted by : Monday, August 21, 2006 at 3:11:00 PM EDT
: Monday, August 21, 2006 at 3:11:00 PM EDT
YOU WERE WONDERING ABOUT A WORD "COGOTON"?
IT REFERS TO THE NECK; LIKE "I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOUR COGOTON" VOY A APRETARTE EL COGOTE (COGOTON).
THIS IS FUN! C.V.
IT REFERS TO THE NECK; LIKE "I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOUR COGOTON" VOY A APRETARTE EL COGOTE (COGOTON).
THIS IS FUN! C.V.
Permalink posted by : Tuesday, August 22, 2006 at 8:01:00 PM EDT
: Tuesday, August 22, 2006 at 8:01:00 PM EDT
I am loving these recaps--so appreciative (except, I wish there was a big obvious link at top of left hand side of page to go right to comments).
I am totally enamored of Jaime Camil and am amazed at his comedic talent. The combination of comedic and sexy at same time is somewhat unusual. I thought I would never find anyone as attractive as Fernando Colunga but I now feel the same way about Jaime--exceptionally attractive!
But, I am getting VERY VERY tired of seeing Lety look so ugly. Please, someone assure me that she will be changing soon, very soon! I want to see some love scenes with Angelica looking her pretty self!!!
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I am totally enamored of Jaime Camil and am amazed at his comedic talent. The combination of comedic and sexy at same time is somewhat unusual. I thought I would never find anyone as attractive as Fernando Colunga but I now feel the same way about Jaime--exceptionally attractive!
But, I am getting VERY VERY tired of seeing Lety look so ugly. Please, someone assure me that she will be changing soon, very soon! I want to see some love scenes with Angelica looking her pretty self!!!
Permalink posted by : Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at 12:10:00 AM EDT
: Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at 12:10:00 AM EDT
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