Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Barrera de Amor, Tuesday May 31

After Valeria tells Maite that she will never forgive her mother Maite thinks "But I’m not a bad mother, I'm not!!" No Maite, you're a good mother who has let her daughter grow up in the House of Usher for the past 17 years.

Unibrow does a "woe is me" dump on Daniel. He tells him that Adolfo Valladolid was one of his best friends but "he ended up marrying the woman that was to be my wife. No doubt she married him for his money, and I discovered her deceit because she was pregnant. She made up a story that he forced himself on her." Unibrow continues with the tale we already know, I dozed off and woke to hear him concluding with "the last I heard of her she left her husband and daughter for another man." Daniel figures out that Valeria must be the daughter of "that woman who betrayed my dad." I think Daniel wins the award for being the first person on this show to actually figure something out on his own.

The girls say goodbye to Victor and Maite. Maite gives Valeria a long, lingering hug and tells her to be careful.

The Bickersons are at it again. This time Jacinta and Remedios are arguing about marriage in general, but meaning Rodrigo and Valeria specifically. Remedios says one should marry for money. Jacinta says one should marry to benefit the family which is in keeping with her family-is-livestock theory. Jacinta, accompanied by Remedios' yawns, shares a bit of her childhood with us. Jacinta's father-in-law was like a real father to her, and she like his daughter. Her own father was despicable, always tanked up; she doesn't know how her mother put up with him all those years. Her life before coming to the hacienda was a living hell, "that's why my brother Sergio went away, leaving everything behind. Ah...what ever happened to Sergio?"

Cut to Mexico City and a smarmy-looking bald man in a white suit and pyramid mustache lighting a cigarette in the dark. Who could it be? He is waiting to speak to Pancho. Who shall he say is calling? "My name is Sergio...Sergio Lopez."

Andres is working the Canada angle in order to see Valeria. Daniel, for the first time, tells Andres that perhaps that may not be the best idea. He tells Andres what Unibrow told him, how the Valladolid family wronged their father, stole his woman, threw him in the can on a trumped up charge, etc. It's because of this family that father hallucinates about bulls. Does Andres remember Maite, she of the chocolate cake? Yes, Andres remembers her cake well. Daniel reveals that she is the one who broke dad's heart and Valeria Valladolid is her daughter. Daniel thinks Andres should avoid her because of her family ties. Andres reasons that Valeria is a victim too, and by Daniel's logic they should also avoid Juanita (Daniel's potential babe) and her brother and father (they helped with the winery's success) because Jacinta is their benefactor. Daniel, realizing that Juanita is caught up in this too, agrees that Andres is right, it wouldn't be fair.

Don Jose has approved Andres' proposal to export the wine to Canada. He wants Andres to go to Canada immediately.

Pancho is at the restaurant when he gets a call that a Sergio Lopez wants to speak to him. On his way out he reminds Maite that she agreed to visit his markets. Even though she is in a blue funk because of her daughter she agrees to go as a diversion. He'll pick her up very early the next morning.

Daniel gets an e-ticket for Andres to fly to Montreal. He suggests e-mailing the girls but Andres wants his visit to be a surprise. Andres, shopping for a gift for Valeria, sees a white glass rose in a jewelry shop. Remember, he gave her a white rose when they met.

As Sergio waits for Pancho he has a flashback in sepia tones, demonstrating that he was too poor to flashback in color. His dad is driving and taking a swig of booze every 15 seconds. The kids want to know when they can go to school, but mom says no way, they have to go with daddy to buy and sell harvests and crops, they have to do everything together. Sergio smells alcohol from a nearby cask and says "How I remember that terrible odor."

Sergio meets with Pancho. We find out that Sergio's parents died in a terrible accident (drunk driving no doubt) and that his godfather, Pancho's dad, took care of young Sergio. In a nutshell, Sergio needs money and for old time's sake and in memory of their parents' friendship is hitting Pancho up for a loan. Pancho pulls out his check book.

The girls are back at school. Veronica finds the gifts that Maite bought for all of them. The girls model their new clothes. Juanita looks smashing in her red pantsuit.

Pancho's accountant Guillermo asks why Pancho loaned the money to Sergio. Pancho says it hurts him to see Sergio like that, without a drop of diginity, living on his past glories but dressed like a poor devil. Guillermo tells Pancho he's a nice guy, but they won't see Sergio again. I'm thinking they will.

Federico calls Jacinta to check in. After Jacinta hangs up Remedios gets mad because Jacinta didn't hand her the phone so she could have a turn. "Oh what a shame," Jacinta sarcastically says, "since he didn't ask for you I forgot." Then adds "siempre haces una tormenta en un vaso de agua," which I suppose is the equivalent of "you're always making a tempest in a teapot." She tells Remedios not to be such a martyr. Honest to God, is this the most dysfunctional relationship in telenovela land? I don’t have much experience and would really like to know. Comments anyone? Even my sister and I don’t bicker like these two biddies.

Gustavo is surprised to run into Federico in Mexico City. Gustavo needs to write down a phone number and Federico gives him a card from Maite's restaurant to use, then jokingly recommends the food so Gustavo pockets the card. Gustavo asks Federico what he thinks of Rodrigo. Federico tells Gustavo not to worry, Rodrigo is only going through his rebellious phase. Gustavo doesn't like Rodrigo's superior attitude, especially around people who have no money. Federico, looking forward to the day when Rodrigo will inherit all of Gustavo's wealth is optimistic, "like they say, great companies make great men." Gustavo would prefer that Rodrigo find his "greatness" in an honest day's work.

Now we have what must surely be the oddest of all tonight's scenes...our "rebellious youth" who looks at least 40 is having it out with his mother Manola. She wants to know where he is off to, he says don't wait up. She accuses him of acting up because his father is out of town. He tells her not to be stupid and she slaps his disrespectful and timeworn face. He yells that nobody but Federico understands him. They should really go easy on close-ups of the both of them together, lest we think she gave birth to a ten year old.
NOTE: Did someone say or did I read that the woman who plays Remedios is this actor's mother in real life? Why in the hell is he playing Manola's son?

Maite and Pancho are enjoying the pre-dawn sky. Pancho mentions that he's tired of having his evening glass of wine alone, he longs for a family, children. Maite gets sad and admits that the day before was difficult for her. He offers to buy her menudo and she thinks this is amusing. They tour his vegetable and fruit markets and she does the Valeria dump. He cheers her up by saying that Valeria is bound to someday see that Maite is pure in heart.

Back in Canada Veronica is going through her mental check list of some of the men on her to-do list:
1) Andres-he's a babe but Valeria likes him and Valeria is her friend.
2) Baldomero-he's sensitive, a good person, and treats her well.
3) Rodrigo-she likes him the best, he's very handsome (at the moment she recalls his "guapo-ness" his face is screwed up behind a big chimney of a cigar), has money and they get along very well.
Pan to mirror where Veronica is seeing in 3-V. Violeta prefers Baldo but Vera is lobbying for Andres because he's the most handsome and because this choice will cause Veronica the most grief.

Valeria, standing under a tree, gazes longingly at the white rose that Andres gave to her on the day they met. It is miraculously at this moment that he appears. He apologizes to her for standing her up. She accuses him, and rightly so if you ask me, of not trying hard enough to let her know he was leaving town. He's makes lame excuses that she doesn't believe, she says he's a liar. "Why would I come all this way just to lie to you?" he asks. "Look into my eyes. I know I'm an idiot for forgetting that I had to catch a plane that day." "You are." "But please forgive me." They kiss and make up.

Walking back into the restaurant Pancho hopes that at the very least he helped Maite to forget her sadness for a while. Ulises is there waiting for her. The men kind of smirk at each other waiting for someone to make the first move. Maite, to her credit, decides they should all sit down and have coffee together; she wants to tell them both something. She wants to be very up front with them, at this time she only wants to be good friends as she needs to spend all her time and energy working on the situation with her...(daughter?)

Tivo decided that this scene should end mid-sentence. Good boy, Tivo.


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Barrera de Amor: May 29

  • Jacinta tells Federico he should stop smoking, and asks why his mother Remedios has turned against the dreadful cur Rodrigo. He says he'll find out.

  • Juanita says goodbye to her father (Teodoro) and her brother (Baldo). She wants to study her native culture and write about it someday, but meanwhile, she feels bad they've worked so hard while she's been in school and says she'll come home and work, rather than go on to university.

  • The girls are getting ready to go back to school. Rodrigo greasily suggests he'd like to go skiing up there and Jacinta says, as long as you go with Valeria of course that's fine!

  • Valeria thinks about kissing Andres under a waterfall. She tells Remedios he had said he'd talk to Jacinta - but instead he left without even saying goodbye. Remedios agrees Rodrigo is not the One and says: date more guys.

  • Veronica's various selves have a discussion in the mirror. Violeta likes Baldo; Vera prefers Rodrigo, who is rich and could give her a good life. Baldo shows up and it turns out Veronica (or one of her other selves) has also been flirting with Andres, so Baldo is displeased. After a little flirting (and she charmingly puts on his hat), the sucker forgives her. They say they'll do internet chat when she gets back to school. As soon as he leaves the room one of her inner beings throws his hat on the sofa.

  • Federico and his son Rodrigo have fun waving their cigars around, man to man, and decide the outsiders are no threat to Rodrigo's claim on Valeria - she'll give in and be his, once she gets back to Canada. Rodrigo has, as far as I can see, no charms whatever. Why did he get this gig?

  • Back home, Andres is moping over Valeria even though his career is going well (we hear). "You shouldn't fall in love, it will distract you from the most important thing: The Bull!" Still he continues to mope, and so does his brother Daniel. Unibrow (getting his usual 2 minutes of screen time) points out in a dull, flat voice that vacation romances rarely last. Nutria rushes in with a nutritious dinners but the boys say they aren't hungry and walk out, which is rather rude in my opinion. Unibrow, however, tucks in.

  • Manola's daddy Nicolas is in some other city. He is talking with a friend of Federico when Jacaranda rushes in and Nicolas is stricken speechless by the sight of her ample bosom. He takes her for a drink, sticks his schnozz down her cleavage, and is kissing her right there in public when his superannuated son-in-law Gustavo comes in and sees him. It's all a coincidence. Nicolas says, "it isn't what you think," Gustovo says: "Family is most important," Nicolas says, "I couldn't agree with you more," and then goes and makes an appointment with Jacaranda to get naked together after 10 pm.

  • Maite is packing presents and little notes for the girls, nervous that the chauffeur Jacinta sends will know her. How right she is, it's Federico. He intercepts her on the sidewalk on her way into the restaurant, checks her out and asks if she's married or has a boyfriend. She sidles past him but then goes to hide up in her room.

    She calls Victor, who's entertaining the girls downstairs in the restaurant, and has him send the girls upstairs. A boring scene mostly about presents follows. While Federico grills Victor downstairs to see what he knows about Maite, Maite hears that Valeria is a good cook and makes a great tea (it's the same one Maite's murdered aunt Griselda used to make, the same one Jacinta used to put poison in so Maite would get dizzy and drop her baby Valeria down the stairs).

  • Unibrow holds a family conference. Evidently they've decided as a group to abandon their various professions and go into partnership with the Maldonado brothers in the wine business. Andres perks right up when Unibrow suggests that, with his good English, he'd be the one to open branches in the U.S. and CANADA!!

  • Juanita and Veronica go out to buy herbs, leaving Valeria with Maite. "You're so sweet with Veronica, my grandmother was never affectionate with me, and neither was my father, I reminded him of my mother and that made him sad. My mom was a forbidden theme, I don't know who she was or if she's alive or dead. If there were ever photos, grandmother burned them. She told me my mother was a bad woman, and I figured it out - she left my father for another man. My father suffered so - he never remarried - how could mother have left us?"

    Maite tries to stand up for the theoretical mother: "It can't have been what you thought. What would you do if you met up with her again?" "When I was young, I prayed for her to come back - but now that I know what kind of woman she was, I'll never forgive her."


La Fea Más Bella #10-13 Part Six

Lety, having claimed to have finished the business plan, is unable to provide it. Remember, the envelope with that CD was lost when she fell getting off the bus. Fernando is acting un poco loco with all that is going on, there is a meeting and he NEEDS those numbers. He asks both Lety and Alicia to get him something, neither of them can produce more than ‘uh uh well jeez uh….’

To make matters worse, Mama Padilla tells Lety that RoboPapa is on the way to Conceptos to have a word with Fernando. We can only hope that he keeps his ninja skills under wraps and truly intends to just talk. I don’t know if my brain can handle martial arts and Spanish all at the same time. Maybe to top it all off it could be in black and white, showing some other guy smoking a cigarette and talking about death, like a German film. Then the TV would explode.

RoboPapa shows up and asks for Fernando. Lety finds RoboPapa in the lobby and tries to head him off at the pass. She basically tells him to hit the bricks, he naturally assumes that she is ashamed of him. That’s not true, but it should be. “Si Papa, I would love to introduce my dreamy boss to my steam-powered father.” I don’t think so. Besides, at this moment Fernando has steam coming out of his own ears.

Lety runs him off and heads back upstairs. Fernando has had enough. He calmly tells her that she’s fired. I thought this was another dream sequence, but no, he really said it. It’s time to start a count of how many times Lety has been fired.


She goes to her office and sniffles and cries. Meanwhile, somebody’s kids find the envelope with Lety’s CD in it. Everyone at this company has kids and perpetual babysitting issues. Paula Maria has a kid that has to hide under her desk a lot, I think he keeps getting kicked out of school. I imagine it’s from getting in fights about his clothes, she has him dressed like he’s going to golf school. Green pants and a polo shirt, and a matching green cap. He was probably tired of getting his ass kicked for wearing that stuff and fought back. Then Olarte and Marcia’s secretary has two kids who always don’t have anyone to watch them, so she sneaks them in and hides them in an empty office or something. These kids are the ones who found the envelope. They decide to try and find out who this Leticia Padilla is. Can they just put it in the mail cart or something? Nooooooo. They sneak around, avoiding everyone. If they keep avoiding everyone and not asking who Leticia is, how are they going to find out?

A package arrives via Saimon, this one for Ana Leticia Villaroel, sister to Marcia and Ariel. Finally the confusion between Ana Leticia and Leticia! Lety is told that there is an envelope for her, she is excited and rushes down and tears it open, turns out the envelope has a couple fake boobs in it, bra-stuffers. She is now despondent. Right then, though, the kids show up with the other envelope, Omar takes it from them and he and Lety run up to give it to Fernando. All ends well, with Lety again sniffling and crying.

Fernando has no recollection of firing Lety. “Really? Well since you got this report here you aren’t fired, forget about that.” I’d forget about it right after an APOLOGY. Lety is more forgiving though, she goes back to dreaming about being Mrs. Fernando.

Fernando does a quick reversal of his earlier firing of Lety, realizing now that she is vital to the company. He calls her in and tells her that, finishing with “tu eres la mujer que yo necesito,” you are the woman that I need. Omar overhears this last part and has a field day teasing Fernando about his new novia, once Lety leaves the room of course. He can offer nothing but “yeah yeah whatever Omar, good one, how old are you anyway?” or something along those lines.

Alicia tells Marcia that she didn’t do any of the work, Marcia is pissed. How can she have Alicia keep tabs on Fernando if she doesn’t keep her job?

Omar tells Fernando that Alicia was going to try and do that work, but that she asked him for help, and well, you know. That help resulted in low-flow showerhead hair for Alicia and them using the same soap. Fernando finally comes right out and asks Lety if Alicia really did that earlier report that she was so quick to take credit for. Lety says “if she did that, then she could have done this one too, right?” She grins smugly. Fernando smiles and says that yes, she could have. We’re all on the same page here. Lety smart, Alicia dumb. Fernando has big plans for Lety, she is going to be a big part of the company. Lety wants to just be a big part of Fernando’s bow-chicka-bow-bow but will settle for being important at work.

The next day Tomas is at the Padillas’ house freeloading some food and lets slip that while Lety does executive work, she’s techinically (and is paid like) a secretary. OOPS. Wow is it any wonder this guy hasn’t gotten any farther in life. He’s supposed to be smart, but his role in this novella so far is to be the buffoon.

RoboPapa’s steam engine gets pumping in the next gear, he starts yelling at Mama saying “how can this be?” Earth to RoboPapa – it’s not Mama’s fault. Helloooooooo. Anyway, he is going (AGAIN, this whole theme is getting old) down to Conceptos straight away to get her out of there. Nothing shows support for your daughter who should be working as an executive like showing up and treating her like she’s five. Nice work RoboPapa.

Mama and Tomas are no match for a lumbering, wheezy old man, he uses his Robo stiff arm to push them back and lurches out the door. Mama calls Lety on the phone to tell her what happened and to warn her that he’s on the way. “Hurricane Erasmo!!!! EEEeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!” Lety is too busy for the call, though, and cuts her off before she says that he’s on the way. I sense more running around like Jack Tripper and John Cleese again.

Meanwhile, the big meeting is called to order, now that the numbers have arrived. RoboPapa shows up and is about to barge in when he hears Fernando say to Olarte, “from now on, from this moment, you will report all the bank and treasury movements and transactions to la señorita Leticia Padilla.” RoboPapa beams and decides everything is fine. This guy has one brain cell. Maybe none. All this does is verify the problem that got him so pissed off in the first place. Lety does executive work but is getting ripped off in her paycheck. Well, tomorrow is another day. Another day, another visit to Conceptos by RoboPapa.

Later that night Lety writes in her journal that she’s giving up on love, nobody will ever love her, men would never want to meet someone ugly like her. Sniff sniff.

Alicia goes on a dinner date with Ariel that Marcia set her up with. She is supposed to meet him at 8:00, she shows up ten minutes late. He’s already eating. She asks him, basically, “what the hell???” He says she was late, so he ordered. I want to know what restaurant this is, because they have the best service of all time. In ten minutes he can order, be served, and be halfway through his dinner. That’s incredible. Anyway, Ariel is a complete and utter ass, Alicia tries to flirt a little and make nice, Ariel quickly tells her that they have nothing in common, she’s trash trying to act like she’s somebody, he really puts her down. I almost feel sorry for her. NOT. She gets pretty pissed, naturally, and says fine, if we have nothing in common I’ll just go. He says “well, we could still have sex.” She declines and leaves. Ariel should take lessons from Fernando, then he’d learn how to be smooooth with the ladies. And it wouldn’t hurt to not be so nasty ugly either, I’m sure.

The next day Paula Maria invites Lety out for a drink, an old boyfriend is in town and invited her out. He has a friend and she needs to bring someone for him. She reaches the end of her list and Lety is all that is left, she of course says she’ll go. Paula Maria’s date looks like the assistant manager at Main Street Used Cars. I’d say he’s about 50, with a very round shape and very average looks, wearing a cheap suit. I have no idea why she got so excited that he was in town. Maybe he’s rich. His buddy, Lety’s de facto date, is a younger guy (His trainee? The guy who washes the car after you buy it?) who does the now famous Lety Recoil. They go to the bar, Paula Maria and her date hit the dance floor, leaving Lety and Trainee at the table. Lety gamely tries to make conversation, she seems to be overcoming some of her shyness, but the guy would rather be anywhere else in the world but here. She eventually gives up and just sits there drinking. Careful Lety, that’s not ginger ale!

Fernando is finishing dinner with Marcia at her place. He suggest going out, it’s a Friday night and he wants to party. She wants to stay in. Finally she tells him “Fine, go ahead and go out.” She says it nicely, not bitchy. That should have been the enormous red flag. Your fiancée is telling you to ‘go ahead’ and go out on a Friday night without her. Oh Fernando have you learned nothing? You will pay for this in the end, I’m sure. It will be thrown back at you during the next 100 arguments and beyond, perhaps on Marcia’s deathbed. “Fernando I wouldn’t be dying if you hadn’t so selfishly gone out without me that time.”

Back to Lety at the bar – she is sitting there glumly as her date spends a really long time in the bathroom. Suddenly an angel appears – no wait, it’s Fernando, even better. He chose this bar to come to and cut a rug. He sees Lety and heads over to talk. Lety is of course beside herself with giddiness. They chat for a minute, and then Fernando invites her to dance. She dances like a horse. Well, so do I so I can’t criticize. Trainee shows up and demands to know who this guy is, and then tells Fernando that Lety is with him. Lety tells him that it’s her boss, and besides Trainee wasn’t talking to her for the last hour anyway. Trainee tells her to decide, him or me? Before she can answer, Fernando punches him in the face and knocks him down. Lety is almost in tears over this manly gesture. Fernando leans in to give her a kiss……….


Yes, that was the end of that particular episode and a great place for me to stop for now. Back soon with more.


Friday, May 26, 2006

Friday May 26

Barrera de Amor

My VCR or more likely the tape inside malfunctioned tonight. Here is a quick recap of what I remember of the show.

Valeria tells Remedios she is in love with Andres. Remedios tries to talk Valeria into loving Rodrigo instead. Valeria stays strong and says "wait until tonight. Andres is coming to the house to talk to my grandmother."

Federico tells Remedios he is the father of Rodrigo. She is upset and says "you promised me your relationship with her (Manola) would end after I caught you together!" Federico cries about being a bastard. Remedios claims he is not a bastard he is a "good boy". She is incredulous to the revelation that she has a grandson, another Valladoloid no less. Then she remembers Valeria. She cant have Valeria and Rodrigo hooking up now! She thinks she might have to tell Federico that he is a Valladoloid.

Andres stands up Valeria. He had promised to come to the hacienda and tell the crabby old lady his intentions for Valeria. Instead he has to return to baja california with la familia. Valeria is devastated and tells Jacinta that it is over for her and the torrero. Jacinta explains that many men come to Aguascalientes for the fair iust to have fun with the girls they meet, not to find girlfriends.

Gustavo continues cracking down on Rodrigo for being a loser. He tells the guy who works for them - the one who always covers up for Rodrigos lack of a work ethic by doing all his work - that he (Gustavo) knows that the guy does all the work for Rodrigo but it has to stop.

Remedios panicked that if Valeria and Rodrigo get together they will have deformed children she tries multiple times to stop Valeria and Rodrigo from doing things together. Pissing Jacinta and Federico off in the process. How dare Remedios interfere with Rodrigo or "her son". To further complicate the process Rodrigo buys a camcorder for Valeria. Remedios tells Valeria she shouldnt take the gift if she doesnt want to be promised to Rodrigo. Valeria takes the gift to prove the point that she is over Andres. (Yes right) Later Valeria and Rodrigo laugh about the old fashioned way Remedios said she would be promised to him if she accepted the gift. They both seem to know that is a joke. But seeing what a loser Rodrigo is I wonder if this camera doesnt raise its ugly head again....

The girls get ready to leave for Canada. Gustavo and Nicolas (separately) take off to la Cuidad (mexico city) for business. MM (Manolas Mom - as Sylvia so wisely penned it) is suspicious of her husband. Jacinta is suspicious that Andres will try and meet up with Valeria in the airport. MM just hopes that her husband wont cheat on her while Jacinta takes action. Jacinta enlists Federico to go to the airport to spy on Valeria and make sure she doesnt get any surprise visitors.

Jacinta ends her plotting with Federico saying "cuentas claras amistades largas". Which roughly translates to Transparent Accounts Long Friendships or more to the point Keep business straight and you will have long friendships.


Barrera, Thursday May 25

When last in Barrera-land Federico, in a grossly misguided attempt at parenting, meets some criminal in a bar and pays him to do something bad to Baldomero, the kid (Juanita's bro) who accidentally kicked a soccer ball into Rodrigo's car. (Remember, Rodrigo stopped, made racist comments and Andres gave him a bloody lip, but since Baldo is an Indian he's the guy that gets the hit.) The bad guy steals a VW Bug, that most intimidating of all vehicles, drives about 5mph in a speedy getaway, follows Baldo on his bicycle and knocks him over. Baldo is unhurt but his bicycle is busted. El Gordo drives by, picks him up and takes him home. They think the accident is very suspicious. (Ya think??? The driver is going 5 mph, has the whole road but hits the kid on the bike.)

Ulises picks up Maite for their symphony date. Oops, Victor and Pancho walk up; Pancho thinks he has a dinner date with her that Victor arranged. Uncomfortable shuffling of feet. Maite chooses the concert "because Ulises already has tickets." Now Victor has to open a bottle of wine and make fun of Ulises' name to make Pancho feel better. Pancho says it was practically love at first sight with Maria Theresa. They laugh about their prep school days. Pancho asks Victor about his relationship with Maite and Victor tells him the reason they aren't a couple is because he, Victor, is gay.

Valeria and Veronica are talking about how strict Jacinta is. Valeria excuses her abuela by relating how Jacinta was forced to take control of the hacienda at a young age. (Forced by God to kill her husband and everybody else who got in her way I guess.) Veronica says Jacinta is a control freak and does she always have to wear black? Valeria says Jacinta is very generous which is why the whole town loves and respects her. Valeria somehow misses the fact that Veronica keeps trying to light her fingers on fire during this entire conversation.

Pancho admires Victor's honesty; he would never have suspected Victor is gay. Victor gives a short tutorial on being gay: most gays are not effeminate or try to look like women; they are normal, common people. Pancho says they will always be friends. Even better now that he knows Victor is not going to "make like a fly", i.e. be buzzing around Maria Theresa, he'll have enough of this with Ulises.

Maite loved the concert, the music made her cry. Ulises wants to go out with her again but she wishes to be very clear, she only wants to be friends. He accepts her terms. He asks about Pancho and she says she met them at the same time. Ulises says he's happy just to hang out with her.

Jacinta creeps up on Veronica who is reading, startles her and asks her if she's in the habit of visiting folks and then sticking her nose into business that doesn't concern her. She thought Valeria had invited an educated young woman, "not a busy-body like YOU." Veronica replies that she didn't mean any harm, she was just alone and bored. Jacinta, ever the charming hostess, snaps that she knows Veronica's kind...she's just like a little tart who used to live in town, (presumably Veronica's mother Magdalena). Veronica asks why Jacinta is telling her this piece of info. Jacinta says it's because she can see beyond what others see. She divines that Veronica has a secret, something important. Veronica, in a cheeky and sarcastic tone, says "No, I'm just a friend of your granddaughter, and AGAIN please excuse me for going into your room. I promise from now on I won't EVER go where I'm not invited." Jacinta doesn't want Veronica to tell Valeria about this conversation. Jacinta doesn't realize she is now talking to Vera, who removes her hair clip and starts to chomp at Jacinta with it. Then Vera-nica flounces off to her bed and flops down on it. Clearly from Vera's perspective the conversation is over. Jacinta, not used to this tone of voice from anybody except Remedios, shakes her head and wonders "What's that all about? I'm going to have to crack that head with my stick." Vera-nica continues to chomp at the air with her clip...rowr, rowr.

Unibrow and Don Jose are having a farewell coffee. Uni is returning to Ensenada and Jose is also leaving. Jose says returning to Aguascalientes was very difficult for him, so many bitter memories...a woman. Years ago in this very place he loved the only woman he ever loved in his life, but she betrayed him by leaving him for another. "Wow," says Uni, "the same exact thing happened to me." (And also to about 10 million other people.) They both agree that when the past is too painful it's best to live in the present. Yep, I guess that's why Uni is always fantasizing Maite's face in place of his beautiful wife's, because he's no longer living in the past.

Valeria is cooking breakfast for Baldomero and Juanita. The girls are going into town and it will be Baldo's task to occupy Veronica while Valeria has a rendezvous with Andres.

Federico shows up at Gustavo's place. Manola is peeved and wants to know what the devil he is doing there. Gustavo announces it's because he invited Federico to be there. He says he's worried about Rodrigo being a complete waste product and has enlisted Federico's assistance. Rodrigo arrives and is not happy to hear that he will be working instead of escorting the girls to Aguascalientes. He tries to wriggle out of it but Gustavo is adamant "No, work first!" Federico offers to go with them while at the same time undressing Manola with his eyes.

Baldo shows up at the hacienda to pick up the girls. Jacinta yells at him for wearing his sombrero indoors. Rodrigo is unable to escort them into town today so Baldomero is their escort. All the girls over-emote "Oh what a shame about Rodrigo!" Then in Juanita's language she and Valeria say how happy they are about it. Jacinta yells at them for talking Indian. They are finally acting like regular kids, pissing her off and laughing hilariously about it. After they leave she mutters some more about cracking heads.

Maite and Victor are shopping for the girls and purchase every pink outfit in the store.

In Aguascalientes the girls need to run separate "errands." Baldomero will escort Veronica.

Federico and Rodrigo are strolling through what is perhaps Gustavo's dairy or plant? Anyway, they are swaggering, maybe pretending to work. (Management by walking around as one of my odious ex-bosses used to say, what a jerk.) Rodrigo says he doesn't know what he'd do without Federico's help. Federico tells Rodrigo that last night he arranged for some criminal to target Baldomero, nothing too serious, only something to give him a good fright. Rodrigo loves the news and wants details. Federico man-jokes that if Rodrigo "behaves himself" he'll fill him in. They snicker. (Yeah, that's a laugh allright, running somebody over on their bicycle.) I found this scene really funny...Federico has the confident swagger that comes from years of insolence and boinking somebody's wife, but Rodrigo is trying so hard it looks like he has hemorrhoids. Then I reversed the tape and Rodrigo looked like a duck walking backwards. He needs to take cool lessons.

Baldomero is giving Veronica a museum tour. She tells him she had a lonely childhood, her mom was sick a lot and worked nights. She only had two friends, Vera and Violeta. "Do you still see them?" "No, no, I stopped seeing them when I moved to Canada. I shared all my dreams and desires with them." Baldo says he dreams of being a professional soccer player.

Andres and Valeria are sucking face of course, this time by a waterfall. They are getting hot and heavy. "Not now," she says, "I'm not ready to go there." He agrees it's soon and maybe they should wait until their relationship is more firmly cemented. She wants to finish school and return to him. He hopes she doesn't forget him.

Unibrow and Nutria agree the trip was a great experience for them, winning the gold medal and all. All of a sudden...Mariachis!!! Nutria loves Mariachias!! Off she runs, giving Uni a chance to recall, AGAIN, another time, a happier time, when he was serenading Maite in, I swear this is true, a Mariachi outfit. This memory is thankfully short. When Nutria returns he sees Maite's face instead hers as he gazes into her/her eyes. He's such an a**hole.

Don Pedro and his entourage are dining and discussing the wine event. Oh look!! What a coincidence, the woman with them has the same plastic surgeon as Joan Rivers! One of the guys (is this the guy that was sucking up to Jacinta a couple of episodes ago?) says that Jacinta is the patron for the region. Don Pedro points out she's very, er, severe. The suck-up says she has a tough exterior but she is well-respected. Don Pedro says when people seem to be that perfect there is always something wrong. "No, not Jacinta, in her case it's all true. She is as virtuous as she seems." For a serial killer.

Andres must have excessive sperm buildup because he seems to have lost his mind. He has been thinking about talking to Jacinta before Valeria leaves. Valeria thinks this is a terrible idea. Duh. Nevertheless he wants to be up front. She tries to talk him out of it. He'll be there at 7:00. Later, when they tell Juanita, she's shocked and dismayed and says Jacinta will slam the door in his face.

Jacinta and Manola's Mom (MM) are having a bitch-session at the hacienda. MM says her husband Nicolas will go after anything in a skirt. Jacinta says "You don't still get jealous over that stuff, do you?" MM points out that during the wine event the sore subject of that "mujerzuela" (loose woman) Eloisa came up again, it's the bane of her existence, even after all these years. Jacinta says "if a man is unfaithful it's because a woman who acts like a streetwalker crosses in front of him." "Yep, that's what Eloisa did all right, she put herself in front of Nicolas, not because she wanted him but to take him away from me." Remedios shows up with the tea service and screams "Lies! Don't say those vile lies about Eloisa. I'm not going to stand here listening to you slander the reputation of an innocent woman, a woman who is dead!" "Oh, she didn't have the least little scruple about putting it in front of a married man. My huband!" Jacinta interjects that clearly for Eloisa a man like Nicolas was a means for climbing the social ladder. "Lies!" screams Remedios. "Do you know when Nicolas began to hate Eloisa? It was when he realized that a poor and lower class woman like her didn't want anything to do with him." MM says that's a total lie. Remedios adds that she has no doubt it was Nicolas who spread the lies and gossip that led to Eloisa's bad reputation. Jacinta says that Eloisa worked hard to earn her own bad reputation. She allowed herself to get pregnant by that out-of-towner, remember??? Remedios answers that Eloisa's only mistake was being in love.

Back at the museum Baldomero is giving Veronica the tour when Andres happens by. Uh oh...someone with a mirror walks by we see that it's that blond slut Vera, not Veronica, who is up at bat. Vera-nica looks in the mirror and likes what she sees. She invades Andres' personal space and insists he join them. She keeps grabbing his arm and he keeps brushing her off. She sends Baldo off to get her some hot chocolate so that she can try to crawl into Andres' clothes while he's still wearing them. She keeps rubbing him and saying "don't you find me attractive?" Baldo with the hot chocolate listens at the door while Andres gets mad at her and stalks off. She follows him outside and hears the crazy tornado in her head as she turns back into Veronica. Baldomero is pissed at her.

The Unibrow family is outside their hotel ready to leave Aguascalientes. Andres finally shows up and they ask him where in the heck he's been. "Where are we going?" he asks. "What world are you living in?" Unibrow asks. "We're returning to Ensenada according to our plan." Andres doesn't want to go, he has to talk to Valeria. Nutria tells him to telephone her. They grab him and walk toward their taxi.


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Barrera de Amor May 23


OK, so feeling a bit guilty about not recapping Tuesday's Barrera, here is a quickie...

Maite is reading the poetry book when the guy who left it at the cafe shows up to get it. They like each other. His name is Ulises Santillana. He lets her keep the book as a loan and hopes they can get together for coffee. (This guy is much better than Pancho who has unnaturally white and even teeth.) Later in her room she reads some poetry and absolutely ruins the mood by fantasizing about Unibrow. It's a totally gross fantasy with big head shots of him laughing. Scary.

At the wine competition El Gordo and Unibrow win the gold medal. They're happy and talk really fast. At the Valladolid table Veronica acts stupid and giggly with Federico.

Later that night Valeria sneaks out to meet Andres and Juanita stays in her bed as a decoy.

Federico and Jacinta are doing paperwork when Valeria runs in screaming about a scary spider. This gives her the opportunity to shake her bootie in front of Federico. After she leaves Jacinta says that Valeria reminds her of that no-goodnik Magdalena who nearly ruined her son Adolfo.

Jacaranda pumps Maite for info about Veronica...does she remember much about her childhood in the brothel? She's trying to find out if Veronica remembers when that slimeball Rafael strangled Magdalena. We find out Jacaranda's husband is old and sick. How convenient for her.

The Bickersons (Jacinta and Remedios) have another one of their "conversations." This time Jacinta tells Remedios that Federico is more like her own son than the son of Remedios. Jacinta gets creepy and talks about the hand of God laying waste to her enemies. Remedios says that she sounds like some kind of prophet or something, does she really think she can predict God's will?

Valeria connects with Andres at the hotel. Juanita hides under the covers when Jacinta comes in looking for Valeria. The decoy works. Later Andres and Valeria stand directly in front of the Hacienda gate, wearing white so as to be more visible in the dark, kissing and saying they love each other. They plan to meet the next day. After Andres leaves she nearly gets spotted by Federico, but she manages to successfully sneak back into her room.

Maite dreams about Pancho with the gleaming teeth, then Ulises (my vote), then decides that she doesn't have time for men, she has to concentrate on her children.

The boys Daniel and Andres fantasize about the girls, Valeria and Juanita giggle about the boys, it's cute.

Jacaranda recalls Magdalena's murder and drops a glass. Veronica starts to remember her childhood in the brothel. She remembers that her mother was a prostitute.

In the morning Valeria goes out riding on Jacinta's favorite horse, Archangel, who is apparently high-spirited and dangerous. She meets Andres. (At last, a man who looks good on a horse!)

Maite and Veronica talk on the phone. Maite almost lets slip that she knows people in the household but she successfully backpedals and Veronica doesn't catch on. Veronica says everybody there is nice except Jacinta who is odd. Maite tells Veronica to stay out of Jacinta's way. Veronica, bored, wanders around the house, stops in front of Adolfo's portrait, and gazes at it.

More on Thursday...


La Fea Más Bella #7-9 Part Five

I’m going to have to catch up quickly, my memory of some details is getting fuzzy being weeks behind. Let’s see what we can do to catch up.

Alicia tells Marcia of her plan to steal Lety’s business plan work and present it as her own. Marcia gets her devil look and agrees that this is a good idea. For some reason Marcia has started to be jealous of Lety and the fact that Fernando is nice to her. She has now reached the status of the stupidest woman of all time. She has caught him cheating with all sorts of hotties, now she’s up in arms about La Fea. She has real issues and needs to work on them, I think. I don’t even know what else to say about this.

I do have one other thing about Marcia – I think she’s a robot too. She never blinks. She has only a couple facial expressions, most famously the devil/dog baring teeth look. But most noticeably, SHE DOESN’T BLINK. I swear. I look really hard ever time she’s on camera. No blinking. Somebody needs to research and see if her real name is “model x4500” or something.

Paula Maria the receptionist gets the entire Club de Las Feas together to have a big cry about how her boyfriend dumped her. I guess this whole scene is to establish that she’s a single mom who has trouble with men. She’s still hot though, we are reminded, because as soon as she leaves and gets on the elevator, Omar (Vice-Horndog, to Fernando’s Horndog-in-Chief) immediately tries to move in on her in a manner that would look over the top in a porno, here it looks beyond ridiculous. Nevertheless, she swoons and acts a little like she’s having an orgasm just from Omar hitting on her. Really an uncomfortable scene.

Omar didn’t waste any time, next thing you know he’s repeating an earlier scene of being at a bar with some woman, with another woman to spare sitting there too, on the phone with Fernando trying to convince him to come out. Again, Fernando can’t go, as Marcia has managed to get her hooks into him for the evening. After Fernando gets off the phone, he starts making out with Marcia in his office (he is the president and you know what presidents do in their offices). Lety walks in on them and sees what they are doing, she goes and hides in her office and sniffles from sadness and jealousy. She wants Fernando to be putting little kisses on that nice moustache of hers. Bleah it made me shiver just to write that.

We now meet Ariel again, he arrives for the meeting and is introduced to Lety. He is speechless that this Fea is the secretary for the president of the company.

Alicia follows through on her plan to steal Lety’s work and pass it off as her own. She is really in charge of getting coffee and snacks, but when she waltzes in to the meeting with the business plans she told Lety she would ‘deliver’ for her, nobody bats an eye as she pretends like she did the whole thing. Everybody takes a quick look and Don Humberto comments on what a good job she did with it.

Lety drowns her sorrows in some food all alone, but the Club de Las Feas invites her to come eat with them, which improves her spirits a bit.
In the meeting, the pissing contest continues over Fernando getting to be the president. Ariel pouts and whines, Marcia finally yells at him that she voted against him because until now, he never showed the slightest bit of interest in the company. Ariel pouts some more. Something about this family – Marcia doesn’t blink, Ariel is unable to move his lips. They are stuck in pout.

Lety wants to say that the work was hers and not Alicia’s, but can’t figure out how to do it without being a whiner. I say be a whiner, but that’s me. She talks to her mom on the phone, she tells her that she is thinking of quitting before she gets fired. Why does she think she’ll get fired? Who knows. She worries a lot.

The employees throw a little retirement party for Don Humberto, he is flattered, so flattered in fact that he stays for a whole five minutes before bailing out.

Fernando asks Alicia to make another report for him since her first was so good, she stutters and stammers about how much time she needs for it, uh, well see, uh, etc. Fernando asks Lety if Alicia did in fact do that business plan or if it was Lety’s work. Again Lety says nothing, but this time looks smug, since she senses Alicia is about to hang herself. Alicia goes back to her desk and worries about what to do since she has no clue how to do the work Fernando asked for.

Fernando and Omar take a break from chasing tail to do some work. They discover that the original business plan that Fernando wrote up neglected to take into account some debt and interest. Here is where I have to suspend even more disbelief. I am an accountant by trade, it is IMPOSSIBLE to prepare a financial summary of a company and ‘overlook’ debt. It is a principle component of a company’s financial situation. Do you ever consider your personal financial situation and ‘forget’ the money you owe? “Dang I should be a millionaire, where does all my money go? OH YEAH – my mortgage, car, credit cards…….” So, two things are possible here – the accountant who prepared the information that Fernando used is stupid or crooked, or Fernando himself has absolutely no clue about this sort of thing. Both are very very possible. The finance guy, Olarte, is indeed an idiot. And Fernando would only care about debt if it had boobs. The logical thing to do here would be to come clean, but this is America after all! No wait - it’s Mexico, but apparently they have been paying attention. Rule number one is cover your ass. Usually the lying is to protect stock price or something, in this case they can’t come clean because Ariel would use it to push for a re-vote for the presidency.

Saimon the dapper messenger offers to give Paula Maria a ride home but she declines. Poor guy, he’s always around trying to win her over but she thinks he’s a clown. Obviously, then, at the end of the show they are sure to get together. That’s my guess. She DOES, however, quickly accept Omar’s offer of a ride, right in front of Saimon, He makes an awesome sniffle sniffle I’m not gonna cry face.

The next day Alicia decides to try and work an angle. She asks Omar for help on the work that Fernando assigned, knowing that she can never do it alone. She also wants to win Omar over to her side, that will help keep her in good with Fernando. He takes a look at her cleavage and her short skirt and readily accepts. Meanwhile, Lety and Tomas are at Lety’s house working on the same project, but in this case it will actually get done.

Lety confesses to her mother that she is only Fernando’s secretary, not his assistant. She must have been weak from the lack of sleep, she and Tomas stayed up half the night working. This Tomas guy sure gives a lot for free. It has every indication of him being hot for her so he helps her so much, but that’s not the case. He is in loooooooooove with Alicia, just from seeing her picture in a magazine. He cut out the picture and laminated it. Aaahhh – now I know. He’s always begging Lety to introduce him to Alicia, that’s why he is kissing up so much. Did you catch the part back there? He cut out Alicia’s picture and LAMINATED it. Stalker alert. Holy cow.

The scene at Alicia’s apartment – she is cooking spaghetti and Omar is openly ogling her. He has the constipated look again, the one where he is consumed by lust but really just looks like he needs to drink some coffee to get the system back in order. They talk about nothing and eat dinner. Omar is trying to get her to have more wine. And more. And a little more. It works. By the time Alicia sits down at the computer, Omar is nibbling on her neck. You can imagine the rest.

Lety gets the work done and puts it on CD to take it back to work. She takes the little microbus to work, it only slows down in front of Conceptos this day instead of actually stopping. Lety valiantly tries to do a Keanu Reeves in Speed style disembarkment while the bus is moving, but of course she takes a huge spill, trashing her stocking and her knee. The envelope containing the CD with the work slides away behind a large potted plant but Lety doesn’t notice. I see more Fawlty Towers in our future.

Fernando wants the work from Lety, she can’t find it and starts freaking out. Her lip and eye twitch are working overtime here. Lety was on the phone with her father when Fernando asks, so RoboPapa overhears Fernando speaking rather harshly with Lety. He is immediately pissed and is going to come down to her work to have a word with him. Don’t **** with RoboPapa, we have learned.

Meanwhile, Omar and Alicia are late late late for a meeting. Fernando is really steamed about it. Lety says with a grin “do you think they are together?” Fernando smiles like a 12 year old and says “I don’t know! Maybe! Do you think?” before snapping out of it and ordering Lety back to work. Omar and Alicia show up together shortly after, looking like they slept in their clothes. Fernando starts to pace back and forth and chews them out. He stops and sniffs them. “El Mismo Jabon!” Fernando the bloodhound has deduced that they used the same soap! Is your boss allowed to sniff you? I didn’t think so. The best part of this scene is seeing Alicia’s hair look limp, like everybody in that one episode of Seinfeld when they got the low-flow shower heads.

I’ll be back soon with the latest edition of Fawlty Conceptos, see you then.


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Barrera de Amor: May 22

  • Now it's Pancho dreaming of Maite! He says it was love at first sight. He wonders why Victor hasn't conquered her. He shows up with flowers; she brushes him off, but says they can be pals. He, poor deluded soul, later tells his friend, "we'll start out as pals but then oo-la-la!"

  • Here is the murderer of Veronica's mother Magdalena, plotting with the wife of Don Eduardo. Don Eduardo is feeling worse every day. Soon she will be a widow and inherit everything! But she's worrying about Veronica, who perhaps as a baby saw something during the unfortunate murder of her mother, being back in Mexico. He suggests an "accident" could befall Veronica, but this woman thinks that might be too coincidental and might lead to investigation - "first the mother gets clocked, and then the daughter's tennis shoes get hung up?" (Meaning she was murdered.)

  • At an organically-grown-grapes wine tasting, Daniel coughs. Andres asks him a favor: go to the hacienda and pass a message along to Valeria to meet Andres at the wine-tasting that night! Daniel is executing this request, talking with Juanita, when Jacinta comes along; Juanita covers, saying Daniel is there to see her. Later in this same visit Federico surprises Jacinta in Daniel's company. He grabs her roughly and tells her not to bring her lovers to the hacienda. She denies all, stoutly. "Then why were you so nervous?" He threatens: "you wouldn't want your father and brother to have to pay for the broken plates."

  • There are several scenes of Maite talking with Victor about his being gay. He never told Veronica, and he never told his longtime friend Pancho - in fact, way back when Victor even had girlfriends. Maite tells him he's been an excellent father to Veronica.

  • Rodrigo tells his pal Omar he's not really interested in Valeria, but he'll win her for sport. Omar thinks he's playing with fire.

  • Remedios presses Valeria not to go after the toreador, but to stick with Rodrigo. Valeria isn't interested - there's something wrong with his character - even when they were kids he was pulling the wings off flies and throwing lizards into the fire. Veronica, listening and sort of sticking herself and stroking her palm with a huge sharp knife, says it sounds like Rodrigo needs a shrink.

  • Jacinta told Maite on the phone that if she tried to contact Valeria, Valeria would be told "the truth" about Maite. "All that matters is Valeria's happiness," Maite muses.

  • Valeria made a delicious meal, and the heavy-handed script has Veronica exclaim: "Why you could be my mother's (Maite's) daughter, you are so good in the kitchen." "Yes, she has always liked to cook." Later: "This sort of thing is inherited." Jeesh.

  • The girls decide to go to the cemetery to put flowers on Valeria's father Adolfo's grave. Federico insists on accompanying them. In front of Adolfo's tomb, the heavy-handed script has Veronica (also Adolfo's daughter) get all sad, ... "I don't know why." Also, Federico, while flashing back to murdering Adolfo, says he's getting all emotional because Adolfo was like a brother to him.

  • Daniel tells Andres he likes Juanita. Juanita tells Valeria she likes Daniel; she also passes on Andre's message about the wine-tasting.

  • Some padre is sucking up to Jacinta and gets her to agree to go to the big fancy international Maldonado Brothers international, did I mention it was international?, wine-tasting that night. With the ultimate aim of getting her to put money into the expansion of winemaking in Mexico.

  • The girls ask Jacinta if they can go to the fair. She says of course not (after criticizing Valeria's scanty blouse), but they have to go to the fancy international wine-tasting. Since that's what they wanted to do anyway, they are happy, which makes Jacinta suspicious.

  • El Gordo and Andres talk their way in the back entrance to the bullfight and for several blissful minutes nobody says anything.

  • Another customer flirts with Maite, and leaves his book of poetry. She is reading it aloud, later, when he comes back for it. She kind of likes him.

  • Well, look who's at the wine-tasting, it's Unibrow, Nutria, and El Gordo, and Daniel and Andres! At another table, Manola, her cuckolded husband Zamora, and her mother. At another table, Jacinta, Federico, the girls, and Rodrigo (discreetly drooling down Valeria's back). Andres sees the drool and goes off to sulk. Valeria sees Andres leave and wants to go after him, but Jacinta says "everybody has to stay seated." How bossy can you get?

  • A suave honcho of the international wine-tasting, Jose Maldonado, comes up to Manola, her mom and her dad (who finally arrived). It turns out he is "the" Jose who fell in love with Eloisa, left her pregnant with Maite, and "never came looking for her." He is stunned to hear Eloisa is dead and staggers off. All agree that after his dastardly behavior he does not deserve to know he has a daughter.


  • Monday's recap delayed but coming...


    I fell asleep watching Barrera last night. Luckily I taped it. I'll watch and recap later today. Univision, save us! Send us something worth watching!


    Saturday, May 20, 2006

    Barrera - May 19

    Barrera, 19 May

    [I saw the hamburger!] Andres makes his bullfighting debut against what appeared to be a mangy calf with no horns but I guess that is a training bull. Anyway, there were lots of “Ole’s.” Valeria watched dreamily, Veronica turned into Vera and watched seductively and Jacinta wants to know who this kid is.

    Maite meets Victor’s high school buddy, Pancho. He inherited a fruit and vegetable business. “Are you a couple?” he asked Maite & Victor. “No,” she says.

    At the post bullfighting gathering, everyone congratulates Andres except for Jacinta who refuses to shake his hand, suggests that he crashed the party and points out that one mangy calf does not a great bullfighter make.

    Back at Victor’s restaurant, Victor indicates that he would like Maite to be more than a friend even though he knows that she will love Unibrow forever. She is not interested, however.

    The slimy Rodrigo tells Remedios that he has a thing for Valeria and is upset that she is not reciprocating. Remedios seems a little surprised when Rodrigo says that sooner or later he will make Valeria, “entrar en cintura”, or “make her submit to him,” a rather un-lover like sentiment.

    Maite regrets never having told Veronica about her daughter, Valeria. Victor points out that in the first years after Magdalena died, Veronica was very unstable, didn’t have any friends and only played with her dolls – Vera and Violeta. But with love and understanding, she got better. “There will be an appropriate time for you to tell Veronica about your daughter,” says Victor.

    Andres’ performance in the ring (or whatever they call where you do a bullfight) has convinced Don Marco of his talent. He gives Andres his card that will get him into another bullfight on Sunday. Andres is very grateful and swears that he won’t disappoint Don Marcos. He declines an invitation to Jacinta’s party. He needs to find his family.

    Valeria refuses a drink from Rodrigo at Jacinta’s reception and Jacinta chews her out for being rude. Grudgingly, she takes the drink. We hear the Veronica-personality-changing music and Vera appears.

    Manola doesn’t like the way Federico is treating Rodrigo. She thinks someone might guess that Rodrigo is Federico’s child. Federico says that they are just acting like friends and oh by the way, your cowboy hat and boots turn me on. They appear to be about to do it in the bushes when Gustavo appears and wants to know what they are talking about in this secluded place…

    Having escaped from the party, Valeria tells her two friends that she is glad to be free of Rodrigo. Vera-nica says that it was strange that Andres left the post-bullfight gathering without saying goodbye to anyone. Juanita says that it was a good thing because Dona Jacinta is never going to approve of an apprentice-bullfighter as a boyfriend for her granddaughter. Valeria looks pained.

    Manola and Federico once again convine gullible old Gustavo that there is nothing between them [how many times does he have to catch them together before the “we’re just old friends” doesn’t work anymore?] Gustavo gets a phone call from Unibrow. They arrange to meet the next evening at some wine event.

    Jose and his sister and the other guy are in Aguascalientes for the fair. It is the first time the sister has been in the city and we get some tourist information. Jose has a flashback to when he met Eloisa. He says that he needed to come to Aguascalientes to confront his past.

    Unibrow, Nutria & Daniel are in a restaurant and Andres comes in. He is very happy and he lets them believe this is only because he reconnected with his girlfriend.

    More tourist stuff about the chuch in Aguascalientes.

    Now it comes out that what Juanita said about Andres not being good enough for Valeria was a cunning plan on Juanita’s part to lull the suspicions of Jacinta and Veronica, who Juanita does not trust.[Those ‘indigenas’ can be very clever.] “No one should know about you and Andres,” says Juanita, “or they will put a big pile of stones in the road. (Te van a echar un monton de piedritas en el camino.) We would say, ‘put roadblocks in your way,’ I guess. Valeria nods but you know she doesn’t really get it.

    Jacinta tells Remedios that she can’t believe that Valeria is attracted to that boy. “He’s young and handsome and she’s just a young girl,” suggest Remedios but Jacinta isn’t having any. She shouldn’t forget that the blood of “that woman” runs in Valeria’s veins along with the great Valladolid blood so who knows what she might do. “I won’t let Valeria be like her mother,” says Jacinta, “to prevent that, I’ll break (domar) her.” Remedios is shocked that she would refer to her granddaughter like an animal. “Very often, people act like animals,” responds Jacinta. “They let their carnal desires rule and they have to be treated like animals in that condition.” From now on she will keep a close eye on Valeria and the bullfighter is not permitted to enter the house.

    Andres tells El Gordo about his initial success as a “torero” but he is upset that he had to leave the reception without saying goodbye to Valeria. El Gordo says that women don’t like to be neglected so he had better fix that.

    Maite wanders around her apartment consumed with anxiety about what is happening at the hacienda. [This is the second time I have noticed that outside her window there is a thunderstorm behind the big domed building. Presumably, this was shot in a studio and they just project that outside the window.]

    Valeria is outside dreaming of Andres and wondering why he left her without saying goodbye. As if summoned by her thoughts, Andres appears. He explains that he couldn’t let the day end without explaining to her why he left the reception so suddenly. She warns him that it is dangerous to be at her house. They kiss. Andres says that although he has only just met Valeria, he knows that he will love her forever. Valeria urges him to leave before her grandmother catches him there.

    Maite decides to call the hacienda. Remedios answers the phone but Jacinta picks up the extension. Maite asks about Valeria and Jacinta breaks in saying, “How dare you call my house!” She warns her never to call again saying that she has only told Valeria that her mother left their home but if Maite persists in trying to contact her, Jacinta will tell her the ‘truth’ about her mother and the only person that will harm is Valeria. Jacinta summons Remedios and accuses her of telling Maite that Valeria was here on vacation since how would she have known otherwise? Remedios denies it, of course and Jacinta makes the same threat to tell all to Valeria if Maite continues to try and contact her.

    At dinner, Unibrow looks at Nutria and sees Maite. Once again, she says, “What’s wrong, honey? Are you worried about Andres?” [Maybe Unibrow shouldn’t have married someone who looks like Maite. This seems to be turning into a serious psychological problem.]

    The 3-V’s have a chat at the mirror. Violeta says that Vera shouldn’t not try to hurt Valeria by taking Andres for herself. Vera says that she doesn’t care about Valeria and she is going to win out over the other personalities. She goes to bed fully clothed and wearing lipstick, saying that she will get Andres and Rodrigo and maybe Federico too but first Andres.

    Victor brings Maite coffee in the morning and she says that she couldn’t sleep all night. Victor says, “Whatever made you decide to call the Valladolid hacienda?” Maite now thinks that she should make up some excuse and have Veronica come home. Victor says, “Why do you want to have her give up her vacation?” Then Maite says that she feels guilty that she and Veronica have prevented Victor from having his own life. He says that it was his choice.

    Veronica wakes up and wonders why she went to bed in her clothes. She doesn’t understand why she is wearing lipstick either. [Evidently, Vera & Violeta are aware of each other but Veronica doesn’t know about them.]

    Making breakfast, Valeria tells Juanita that Andres was at the hacienda the previous night. He loves her. She loves him and they kissed. Juanita advises her to proceed carefully since her grandmother is accustomed to getting her way in things.

    Andres is in the bullfighting museum dreaming about his future.

    Nicolas and Federico present some investment opportunity to Jacinta. They says it is as safe as putting the money in a bank [so you know that very soon all the money will be lost]. Jacinta is distracted with worry about Valeria and the upstart torero. In his bootlicking way, Federico says that he will watch out for Valeria but Nicolas says that Rodrigo will keep and eye on her. Rodrigo is attracted to Valeria already and wouldn’t it be wonderful if they married and brought the families together. [I guess Rodrigo and Valeria are second cousins, they share a grandfather – Pedro.] After Jacinta leaves, Federico says how much he would like Rodrigo to marry into a good family like the Valladolids. Nicolas says that Rodrigo comes from a pretty good family himself: Linares and Zamora (Gustavo’s family). Federico says, “Rodrigo is Linares for sure but Zamora…” He chuckles nastily. Nicolas warns him against saying anything. Dona Jacinta wouldn’t like knowing that Federico was fooling around with Manola when she was engaged to Adolfo.


    Friday, May 19, 2006

    Barrera, May 18

    Maite, high priestess of tears and sobs, is having a one-on-one with the Blessed Virgin. Ave Maria is playing in the background in order to intensify the mood. Maite in words and flashbacks, recaps the sad history of how she lost her daughter and Unibrow, the love of her life. She feels that by losing her daughter she has suffered as much as if she were on the cross, losing Valeria was like losing her soul, it was like having her heart ripped out of her chest. Then she begs pardon because she has had many wonderful people in her life, Veronica (three for the price of one) and Victor for example. She thanks God for the few years she had with Valeria..."then all of a sudden she turns up in my room. Help me, help me, Madre, give me strength to carry this burden in silence."

    There is a couple at the Feria, brother and sister of Jose (wronged by Eloise) I believe, buying a hideous, green 60's vase. It is the kind of thing that kids make by pasting scraps of paper onto something. The wife gets on the guy's case for flirting with the salesgirl who could be his granddaughter. A couple of townswomen who look like transvestites come up to gossip with them.

    Veronica finds Vera's clothes in her suitcase and wonders whose they are. "I wouldn't buy anything like this," she thinks. She pulls out a note from Andrés, "el guaposta", that she is supposed to give to Valeria. Then she hears a crazy tornado-in-the-head noise and sees Me, Myself and I in the mirror. Violetta says "don't come between Valeria and Andrés", slutty blonde Vera sounds very Macbethian as she commands "Largate, largate." I don't know if she is telling Vera to clear out or telling Veronica to "release herself" to her bad side. At any rate, Vera wins over Violetta.

    Maite, not wanting the world to know she has been crying, applies more, more, and more eyeliner on her already heavily-painted eyes.

    Andrés is being teased by El Gordo and his brother Daniel. El Gordo is slightly obsessed with Andrés' love life and accuses him of being hit by cupid's arrow. Andrés, unlike every other man in the world, is staring at his phone waiting for Valeria to call.

    At the hacienda Valeria and Juanita wonder why Veronica is wearing make-up and a different hair style all of a sudden. Vera/Veronica gives Valeria the telephone number of Andrés. Of course we know she has deliberately written down the wrong number and when Valeria calls there is no such person as Andrés there. Vera-nica tells Valeria no biggie, that's how all guys are. Valeria grabs the flowers that he gave her in the market and runs off with Juanita in pursuit. Vera-nica thought bubbles, "Poor Valeria, after he meets me she won't stand a chance!"

    Nutria and Unibrow are in Aguascalientes on a walking tour. For the past 17 years he has been having flashbacks of Maite and Nutria has been asking him "are you OK?" Guess what, Unibrow has a flashback, Nutria asks him if he's OK, he claims he's fine, then to prove his guilt he immediately buys her flowers. Idiot.

    Victor asks Maite if she is feeling better. She says yes, after praying she feels oddly tranquil. She doesn't know why but she knows that little by little she will find a place in her daughter's heart.

    Juanita tells Valeria that there has to be a good explanation for Andrés giving her the wrong number. They decide to go back to the Feria to look for him. They are all giggly and excited until Jacinta shows up and demands to know where they are going.

    Commercial Break: Super Especial starring Lucero from Alborada! See Lucero try to sing as a child, as an adolescent, during her Olivia Newton John phase, and even as an adult. Don't miss it!

    Back at the hacienda we are seeing first hand what a sheltered life Valeria has led...she actually tells Jacinta that she and Juanita are going to the Feria to look for a boy! Sheesh. It's that boy they met, the one who gave her flowers in San Marcos. "Don't be stupid! Don't forget that lovely boy Rodrigo is coming to eat with us. Come along!!" Jacinta spits. Of course they dutifully follow her.

    Unibrow is explaining the details of a bullfighting bronze statue to Nutria. He has a flashback to when he worked at the hacienda and he was doing some sort of favor for Jacinta and Adolfo.

    Jacinta, in order to divert Valeria's attention from that damn "chavo" Andrés, has arranged an outing to "una tienta", "trial of the bulls", or bullfight. And guess what??? Charming Rodrigo will be there! She explains the lovelier aspects of bullfighting, and simply everybody will be there.

    Daniel teases Andrés about moping around waiting for the phone to ring. It rings! It's not Valeria but Mario...there is a spot for Andrés to try out his skills in an upcoming bullfight.

    Federico and Rodrigo are at the hacienda snickering like a couple of schoolboys as to how Rodrigo can suck up to Jacinto by conveying the image of the perfect gentleman at tomorrow's bull festivities. Poor Federico is so smitten by Rodrigo (whom he recently discovered is his son) that he cannot even see the flash to Federico, your son is a slimeball!

    That uber-creep Rafael (the guy who strangled Magdalena) shows up at Victor and Maite's restaurant. It's all hand-shakes and back slaps. The reunion continues when Elvira and Jacaranda and some blonde shows up. Jacaranda asks about Veronica and when Maite says she's in Aguascalientes on vacation Rafael gets all twitchy and bug-eyed.

    Vera-nica hears that darn tornado in her head and once again Violetta and Vera argue about Veronica. Later, Veronica wakes up from a deep sleep not remembering going to bed. She looks at herself in the mirror and cries, "No, no, not red lips again" as she smears her lipstick off.

    Victor the hunk is in the gym pumping iron, (and yes I did hit rewind one or five times), when some guy comes in who recognizes him. Apparently they went to secondary school together. His name is Pancho Rivera. Victor later introduces him to Maite. Later still Maite and Elvira are talking about Maite's concern about both Veronica and Valeria together at the hacienda.

    The Unibrow family and el Gordo are dining together. Daniel keeps calling Andrés "flaco" (skinny) and asks him why he's not eating. El Gordo puts on a goofy french accent and says "love always gets in the way of an appetite." Andrés wanders off and hopes to impress Don Franco.

    The final scene is in the bullfighting ring. Naturally Jacinta and her clan have box seats. I think she is sitting next to Don Franco. First the horses come out and do their stunts. Rodrigo is bored and slouching a lot. All of a sudden down in the ring someone makes the sign of the cross in the dust with the toe of his boot. Camera pan up, up, up...oh dear. It seems the director has decided that this actor's family jewels will not do for the closeup. Quick, somebody grab a braunschweiger!! What?? No braunschweiger? Then get him a big pair of gym socks, or maybe a hamburger, or maybe one of each! Now stuff all of it down into his pants making sure the bulge looks EXACTLY LIKE socks or a hamburger, but definitely not like male anatomy. There, that's much better, now on with the show...

    Valeria recognizes Andrés and is smitten. Everybody sees it. Rodrigo becomes a bit jealous. I wonder what he's go up his sleeve? Valeria grabs a flower from her table, calls to him, and throws the flower down to him. He places it inside his jacket close to his heart.

    In the preview of coming attractions Maite calls Remedios and Jacinta listens in on the coversation.


    Thursday, May 18, 2006

    Barrera de Amor Wednesday May 17

    Checking the ESMAS sight I see that the guy who plays Federico (Alexis Ayala) and the girl who plays the older Juanita (Ana Brenda) are in a relationship that started during the filming. Also Felipe Alvarado of Alborado was on after the show last night. Looks like he wears his hair long in his real life too. I thought his hair was ok but it was the white suit that threw me off. Did he wear white because he was in Miami? In support of Miami Vice?

    Wednesdays episode was mainly a beautiful tourist brochure of the history of San Marcos and the state of Aguacalientes. We got to hear a lecture by Remedios about the painters of murals and age of the buildings in the town (the town is some 450 years old). Evidently the San Marcos Fair is a time of great festivities and fun. The time of the fair (an annual event) is what brings all the characters to the same place at the same time.

    Another history lesson was how boys and girls would circle the "Famous garden of San Marcos". The boys would circle one way while the girls would go another. If a boy saw a girl he fancied he would give the girl a bouquet of flowers. Then the boy would wait to see if by the next pass the girl had kept the flowers or if she had gotten rid of them. If the girl kept the flowers then the boy would take that as an opportunity to get to know the girl. I thought this was a very sweet old tradition. This tradition is used by the novella producers to explain how Andres and Valeria meet each other and through memory bubbles, to show how Maite met Luis Antonio while Maite was circling the park with her Aunt.

    Speaking of memories we also learn that Maite was given an expensive, beautiful diamond necklace from her mother that was given to her mother from her father. Maite bemoans how her life would have been very different had her father not deserted her pregnant mother. In addition Maite has hopes to one day give the necklace to Valeria. While Maite discusses this necklace we meet three new characters, one being Jose, the man who left Maites mother. According to the new characters Jose greatly loved Maites mother, Eloise, and has never loved anyone else. Jose is shown still wondering why Eloise left him, and thinking how different his life would have been had she not stood him up. (Another couple has been accidentally torn apart.) The other two new characters are the brother and sister of Jose who complain about how Eloise hurt Jose.

    Wednesdays episode opens with Andres spilling a tray of drinks on a man who is eating dinner with Don Miguel Franco. Don Miguel owns a large ranch that raises bullfighting bulls, a good vineyard, and is a famous bullfighter or bull aficionado. Andres pretends to be a waiter to get close to the man so he can enlist the mans help in his quest to be a bullfighter. Don Miguel says he will watch Andres bullfight. Andres is thrilled with his luck.

    Rodrigo is slimmy! He arrives at Jacintas hacienda bearing a gift and flowers for Valeria. All three girls, Jacinta and Federico are all sitting around a dinning room table talking. Federico tells Rodrigo to sit down, that he is almost a son in this house. (Rodrigo never takes his cool sunglasses off!) He flirts with all the girls in particular Veronica. Good play on words Federico is doing, too bad Manola wasnt there to hear his comments.

    The girls continue socializing with Remedios, Jacinta and Federico when Veronica remembers she needs to call home and let her parents know she has arrived at the hacienda. Veronica calls Maite and talks to her. While they are talking Veronica hands the phone to Jacinta to have the parents introduce themselves. Maite freaks out and hands the phone to Victor. Jacinta asks who she is talking to and says she thought Veronica was talking to her mother. Victor covers for Maite and says there was something burning in the kitchen. Close call!

    Luis Antonio tells Nuria that he never talks about his past. There is some reason he dislikes bullfighting but he doesnt say why. El Gordo and Andres talk around the same subject of why Antonio dislikes bullfighting without explaining why Luis Antonio dislikes it.

    Juanita and her family discuss how Rodrigo is a bad guy. Evelia says that she thinks Rodrigo is a good person in the bottom of his soul. The brother of Juanita talks about how he likes Veronica. Their father (I forget his name) says that there is a lot of discrimination against indigenous people and he advises his children to not feel bad when others are racist, but not go outside their class to date. They also talk about how they are working with El Gordo to produce wine without pesticides and of the highest quality. They speak a little Nahuatl.

    Rodrogo walk up when Valeria is meeting Andres in the Jardin. Veronica is also there as herself. Rodrigo tries to send Andres away but Juanita and her brother walk up and help difuse the situation. Andres gives his telephone number to Veronica so she will give it to Valeria. Later back at the hacienda Rodrigo asks Veronica to not give the number to Valeria. Veronica acts offended that he has asked her to do this and runs off.

    The last thing I want to add about Wednesdays show is that I laughed every time I saw the aged characters like Victor and Maite with their glasses on.


    Wednesday, May 17, 2006


    Sorry everyone. I screwed up on recording tonight's episode of Barrera and didn't record it, nor did I see it! I checked the esmas site and is it true that Maite discovers that Valeria is her daughter??? Man, the only time something happens and I have to miss it. So somehow Valeria tells Maite she's from Aguascaliente. What does Maite do? Anything? It sounds like Valeria doesn't know she's Maite's daughter, right?

    I'll try to do Thursday night's episode.



    Monday, May 15, 2006

    Barrera de Amor: May 15

    Hello friends! I have to admit I haven't watched the show since I last blogged it (two weeks ago) and now everybody is 17 years older and they look great! I wish I aged so little in 17 years!

    By the way, tonight the show started at 9:25 and ended at 10:25, so if you are trying to use Tivo be careful!

    We are now up to the episode which was December 14, 2005, in the esmas recaps.

    • Juanita is telling Valeria she is proud to have Indian blood, Valeria says sometimes it's a hindrance, Juanita says "Thanks to Granny Serial-Killer Jacinta I lack for nothing." Veronica comes up, surprised to see them: their flight was cancelled. Veronica's trip turns out to have been an invention, so Valeria once again invites her to go to Aguascalientes with them; when she realizes all expenses will be paid, she happily accepts.

    • At the hacienda, Remedios and Teodoro are moping that the girls' flight was delayed. Granny Serial-Killer comes in and barks at Teodoro, "Get out of my chair!" and asks Remedios: "Why did you let him sit there?" Jacinta makes fun of them for caring that the flight was delayed, Teodoro innocently says: "That's just the way it is when you love somebody." "Are you implying I don't love my grand-daughter?" frostily inquires Jacinta.

    • Manola and Federico, hiding under a viaduct, have the exact same conversation I guess they've been having every single day for seventeen years. "You better get out of here before my son or my husband catch you." Federico's been trying to get Manola's dad, Nicolas, to go work for Doña Jacinta. They hear her dad coming and hide, but continue to whisper little nothings about love and money.

      The dad sees the cellphones and keys and hears the whole conversation. Federico leaves and the dad scolds Manola. Meanwhile, Federico, having forgotten his keys, comes back in time to hear that Manola doesn't want her dad to work for Jacinta, because it will mean Federico will be around the house more and around Rodrigo more! The dad says, nobody's going to guess about your hanky-panky with Federico - but she says that's not the problem either - and now - she yells at the top of her lungs - and so Federico hears - that Federico is Rodrigo's father!

      The dad leaves, Manola tells Federico her husband would do some slaying if he found out Rodrigo was Federico's son. Federico says, "You oculd have married me instead, we could have lived on the money I made, but you preferred the rich old goat." She points out: "Your son will inherit everything unless the applecart gets knocked over so keep your mouth shut." Federico does a great acting job in this scene, Manola merely twists her mouth into very ugly shapes. Later she sulks and blackmails her father, yet again, into silence: "We'll all be out on the street if Gustavo finds out."

    • Unibrow's sons are discussing Andres's blown opportunity with Don Miguel Franco. Daniel says Andres should go to the San Marcos fair where Mario Zulaico, a successful bullfighter whom they know and who also knows Franco, will be performing; maybe he can help.

    • Victor and Maite peel carrots and eagerly await Veronica's arrival, wonder about her friends, and mull the fact that Valeria and Veronica are both daughters of the slaughtered Adolfo. They agree: "If Adolfo had lived, he would have protected Veronica and Magdalena."

      Maite says, "Veronica and I have this in common: if our fathers had been with us, our lives would have been different. It was sad I wasn't important to my father." Victor says he feels a father's responsibility toward Veronica. They cutely get anxious about making a good impression on Veronica's friends, and bald Victor asks, "did I do a good job combing my hair?" Since they don't know whether Veronica has told her friends they are her adoptive parents, they decide to suss out the situation and follow whatever story it seems Veronica has told. The ex-Madam shows up and it's off to the airport!

    • Now we see Unibrow dreaming of Maite even though his own very sweet wife Nuria is so good to him and his boys. She's finally going to be able to visit Aguascalientes with him and meet Gustavo. She asks: "Luis, are you happy with me?" and he gives that horrible answer nobody ever wants to hear: "Uh, why do you ask?"

      He tells her she's made him, and his sons, very happy. Then she apologizes, poor Nuria! She feels guilty her baby died. Poor Nuria! Surely she could have done better! Unibrow plants another crummy, insincere kiss on her, moist smacking fish lips. Blegh.

    • Federico, who gets tonight's actual-acting award, seems quite moved to be a father. He remembers times he spent with Rodrigo and thinks: "You and I are the same! I never had a father, but now I am one! My mother was [a slut] like Manola! She probably never even told my father he had a son."

    • Meanwhile we see that Rodrigo is a total horse's ass. He presses drunken, unwanted attentions on a frightened young woman. After she flees, he calls another one: "Hey baby, I've been thinking 'bout you..." Manola waits up in the courtyard for her dreadful, drunken son to come home. They are dressed like twinsies. "You grew up too soon, you're as stupid as your father." "He's not stupid, he loves and understands me."

      In the late morning, the grownups sit around discussing Rodrigo's dissolute ways with more or less cheer. "That's just the way boys are." As Rodrigo breezes through on his way to more dissolute activities, his "father" Gustavo asks him to help on the farm. "Oh dad, sorry, I have plans."

    • At the hacienda, a discussion about - what BEDSPREADS to put on the bed? Urracas? That's magpies? Jacinta says, "No, that bedspread's too ostentatious." (???)

      The servant leaves and Jacinta snidely observes: "Remedios, you're acting as if Valeria were YOUR granddaughter." Remedios reminds her of all the great things she did for Valeria, and Jacinta reminds Remedios that she was more or less a servant. Blah blah about Valladolid blood and the name dying (since Federico doesn't carry it and Valeria won't pass it along).

      Remedios reminds Jacinta that part of their "deal" was that Federico not know he is Don Pedro's son. Remedios rages that Federico has changed so much since Adolfo died. [Adolfo was murdered by Federico, but Remedios doesn't know that of course]. She says, "You've been stealing my son's affection," and complacently Jacinta answers: "Well, you stole my husband's affection." Isn't it unbearable to think of them having this discussion every day for 17 years? Remedios says she and Federico are leaving the hacienda for good. Jacinta says: "You can go, but I guarantee Federico won't leave. I'll tell him the whole story!... Try me!"

    • After the commercial, Maite dreams of Unibrow.

    • Federico goes to see his mother, and yet again browbeats her about telling him who his father was. He more or less calls her a slut and stamps out, then goes and broods (ironically under the huge portrait of his father, Don Pedro). Jacinta comes in and he says: "I'm tired of my mother's martyrdom, she says she's victim of my cruelty but she lies to me." "Parents do the best they can," pontificates Jacinta, "but you're right, your mother was a slut, there are women who have no scruples and seduce married men to satisfy their basest passions." He says he no longer cares who his father was. Jacinta thought-bubbles: "if you knew..."

    • Nuria hurries to get Andres a sweater: "If you're too cold on the airplane, it could be fatal." There is more discussion between the brothers about Andres concealing his plans to be a bullfighter. Andres admits he'll have to tell Unibrow eventually, but he wants to have some successes first.

    • When the three girls find out that Jacinta's chauffeur is having car troubles and that Jacinta would like them to wait in the airport restaurant, Valeria asks if she can go off with Veronica's family instead. (That would be Victor - and Maite, Valeria's actual mother!)

    • Remedios asks Teodoro: "Didn't you ever think it was strange, the way Griselda and your wife got burned up in your house? They had something important to tell me, but then suddenly they didn't have the chance..." He says he was so confused and sad, he didn't know what to think, and there was no investigation...

    • Did you know as a baby Veronica saw her mother murdered? No wonder she's batty.

    • Rodrigo is all over his godmother Jacinta, patting her and making nice. He knows where his bread is buttered. He lies and says he'd like to stay, but he has to go work for his father. When he hears Valeria is on the way home, he suggests he could take her to the fair.

    • Finally, Manola's father offers Federico money to stay quiet about being Rodrigo's father.


    La Fea Más Bella #6 Part Four

    As we all suspected, Roman and Dork had no intentions of going out with Lety. Roman seems to think this whole idea of inviting her out, then standing her up, is the funniest joke ever. In truth, it is the dumbest joke ever. Beavis and Butthead could come up with a better plan.

    Huh huh uh huh huh Hey Beavis – let’s like, call Daria and say we’ll be at the mall, and then, like, not go. Huh huh.

    Hrnh heh heh hrnh Yeah it’s like, she’ll go, and then like, we won’t be there. Hrnh heh heh. That will RULE! Hrnh heh. FIRE FIRE FIRE!!

    Predictably, the whole plan to go out falls apart. After successfully appealing her RoboPapa’s decision to lock her up forever, with her Mama’s help of course, Lety gets all dolled up in her Grandma’s finest dress and sits by the window waiting. Mama checks in occasionally to see why she’s still sitting at the door waiting, when are these Pendejos showing up to get her? Finally one of them has the brilliant idea to call Roman and see what the deal is. I usually reach this point in about 30 seconds, it took them about two hours. “Lety, there’s this thing. It’s called a telephone. Perhaps we should give it a try.” “Are you SURE Mama? I’m scared.” Lety calls Roman, who happens to be just sitting there staring at nothing when the phone rings.

    At this point I started laughing hysterically and had to pause the show. My wife thought I was insane. But the shot of Roman sitting on the couch staring at nothing when his phone rings just KILLS me. Like he thought “I’ll play this awesome prank on this chick, then I’ll completely waste the evening sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing, and THEN, be dumb enough to answer the phone when she finally calls.” I don’t have any history of standing up dates, but I can only assume the process does not involve sitting by the phone waiting for the person you just blew off to call. What an idiot.

    Roman answers, gives Lety some line about going to the store for his mom or something, and says he’ll be by at 9:00 to get her. Lety is excited all over again. Hours pass and nobody shows, Lety is very sad and Mama tries to comfort her, to no avail. Lety cries in her room and writes in her diary about how alone she feels. Mama tells Papa the whole deal, he is livid and swears vengeance on the souls of his ancestors, etc. Or something like that, he was wheezing a lot and he’s hard to understand. He’s like a super wheezy Mexican Captain Kirk. “I…… will find…… those kids and……. kill them.”

    We get one quick show of Roman and Dork at some club, smoking and drinking with some hoochies. Dork asks Roman “shouldn’t we call her?” or something like that, Roman gives the “pfff give me a break” face and waves him off.

    In the morning Lety tells Tomas what happened, he bowleggedly stomps off to talk some sense into those ruffians. He gets to their turf, the corner where they show how cool they are by having nothing to do and nowhere to go, and demands that they go see Lety and apologize. Roman pops him in the eye, somehow not breaking his Harry Caray glasses but giving him a shiner. Tomas slinks off.

    Now it’s RoboPapa’s turn. When Tomas shows up with a black eye, RoboPapa gets out of him who the kids are that didn’t try to take advantage of his daughter. All men are evil and only want to hump Lety, but even worse are those who don’t even try. I guess. He won’t let her go out, but when some guys don’t take her out, he’s pissed. This guy has some serious issues. I really wish they would tell us something about what he does for a living, or show a clip of him coming into work one day to show everyone else in the office rolling their eyes and avoiding him. “oh jeez there he is, maybe he’ll leave me alone today, please God I’m begging you, I’ll come to church every week…….”

    RoboPapa lurches off to where Roman and Dork hang out with their entourage and starts yelling at them (you……. kids……. desgraciados…… rrarrrrrgggghhhh….. wheeeeeeze…..). Roman answers with the equivalent of “screw you dude what are you gonna do about it” and RoboPapa turns into JET LI! He punches Roman in the face, then when Dork comes over to help out (following standard Ninja protocol by attacking only one at a time) RoboPapa grabs his shoulder and gives him a knee to the family jewels. Awesome! Some of the most atrociously choreographed fighting I’ve ever seen, but still a fantastic scene. Watching Dork keel over after RoboPapa kneed the air next to his left knee was thisclose to looking like the real thing. RoboPapa proudly shambles back towards his car as the gang of ruffians writhe in pain on the sidewalk. There may have been police in the area, but they were likely stunned by the fighting prowess of RoboPapa and were reluctant to get involved, lest in his rage RoboPapa kicked ALL their asses.

    Lety goes to work and tells the whole story to Paula Maria, who sympathizes. “Yes Lety, while you are muy fea and I’m built like a centerfold, I feel your pain.” Regardless, it’s nice to see the ladies of Conceptos being nicer to her and becoming her friends. In fact, later that day Lety finally gets into El Club de Las Feas. They finally realized that ostracizing someone for being ugly was kind of ironic and invited her in.

    When she finally gets upstairs to the office, Lety is thanked by Fernando for all her help in pulling the wool over Marcia’s eyes the day before in regards to Carla Laguna. Lety beams and loves him even more. Somehow her image of him is not tarnished by the fact that he just thanked her for helping him lie to his fiancée about another woman. Ahhhh what a man!

    So the whole “Lety’s big night out with Roman and Dork” story was short and anti-climactic, with the exception of RoboPapa’s berserker rage the next day. Getting the next plotline started, Alicia happens to be listening at Lety’s door when she is on the phone with Mama, telling her that she’s going to surprise Fernando by working late to finish up a business plan for him that he needs for a big meeting the next day. Alicia decides that in the morning she’s going to intercept Lety and take the business plans from her, to then deliver to the meeting (along with coffee, tea, or me?) and take the credit for doing the plan. Also, I’m sure, she’ll wear some dress that would get her sent home from any office in the United States for being inappropriate for work.

    More to come –


    Saturday, May 13, 2006

    Barrera May 12 Part One

    Hola! I'll fill in the first part...

    Apparently they have "aged" the first generation of Barrera by prescribing glasses for nearly all of them. Victor has a grey beard.

    Maite and Elvira (looking much better as an EX-whore) are holding Veronica's dolls and missing her. Maite finds Magdalena's letter to Adolfo in the doll Vera's head and realizes Veronica and Valeria are half-sisters. She tells Victor. They wonder why Magda never revealed Veronica's true identity but then realize it was probably out of fear for Jacinta. They are glad she is far from Jacinta's influence.

    Unibrow and Andres have a conversation about him missing an appointment somewhere. Andres lets his dad think it is because of a woman. In reality Andres was out playing toreador.

    Manola and Federico are still doing the horizontal bop after all these years. They are in bed and for the first time she's not wearing her white cap! Federico's hair is greying; this look becomes him I think, he looks better than ever. He talks about how alike he and Rodrigo are in character.

    Later, he and Jacinta are outside talking about buying horses. This reminds her of Pedro and what a great horseman he was. Federico wishes he could have known him. Jacinta says she will never forget the night he died and has a flashback. Jacinta reminisces about her favorite horse, "Shake." Federico squirms. Remember, this is the horse he poisoned way back when to make Adolfo look bad. (I can't remember if the horse died from this stunt.)

    Valeria and Juanita are walking to class. One of them mentions how odd it is that Veronica talks to herself all the time. The other thought it was from the next dorm room. "No, the voices come from our room." "Maybe she has multiple personalities," they joke.

    Veronica, as Vera, is in a store trying on a slutty dress. It looks great on her.

    At Gustavo's huge, modern dairy Rodrigo is in the office. He should be working but is surfing the net for a ticket to Aspen. His hair is slicked back and he slouches so we know he is a slacker and a playboy. The good worker Omar comes in and scolds him for surfing the net instead of working. Gustavo enters and Rodrigo pretends to be a good employee.

    In Canada there is a nun who looks and acts a lot like Veronica's "Violetta" personality. This must confuse the hell out of Veronica. (Now that I think of it, maybe the nun IS Violetta and is only in Veronica's head. I'm confused.) Anyway, Sister Violetta tells Veronica she shouldn't lie. Veronica switches personalities from Vera to Veronica and can't remember saying goodbye to Valeria and Juanita who have left for Aguascalientes. She sees "Vera's" suitcase on the bed with "Vera's" clothes and wonders to whom they belong.

    Daniel finds Andres's toreador sword in the closet and scolds him for not giving up the habit. Andres says bullfighting is his passion. They argue about keeping this info from Unibrow. Daniel suggests that at the very least Andres do a better job of hiding his stuff.

    Update: Apparently the nun I referred to as Sister Violetta really exists because she is the nun who speaks to the other girls about Veronica's lies. Sorry about the confusion. Carry on Jean...


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