Caray, Caray!

Whoever decided to garrote Don Max made sure to knock his hat off first, so Max’s face could be seen better in the light. We get a quick glimpse of the attacker’s foot and leg, he appears to be wearing slacks and nice shoes. So it isn’t Gaspar, I don’t think it’s Santos either, he dresses more hillbilly. Whoa, I wasn’t expecting this! Max overpowers the attacker and the eyes look female – Don Max slaps the attacker and the cry out is definitely female. Don Max pulls off the hood and it’s Rosita! They yell at each other, he says he’s in pain now, she says it is his conscience bothering him. He says he’s going to call the police, she says fine, I’ll tell them that you raped me. Instead of just saying he didn’t do it, which might sound believable, he says she doesn’t have any proof, which sounds totally guilty. Idiot. Anyway, they yell at each other some more, Rosita finishing by saying that Don Max won’t remain here. I guess she means that he’ll be locked up, I didn’t quite get what she was saying.

Some guys are loading a truck with boxes, Jose and Arcadio approach and ask if they can ride in the back of the truck, they are trying to get back to Mexico. After giving the boss a piece of gold, they get permission. The boss says to be back in an hour or they will get left behind, Jose smartly says that they will just wait here, they get up into the back of the truck right away. Very smart move, I was waiting for a scene with them running up behind the truck that is already pulling away.

Stupid Alina (I think I will call her that or just regular Alina depending on whether she just did something stupid or not. In this case, she was wandering around outside the church and was spotted by Jeremias, which was totally stupid.) rushes into the bedroom and wakes up her mother, saying that they have to leave right away. She was seen by “that drunk” Jeremias and he will surely rat them out to Don Loco. Soledad is being a little stupid as well, she says they can’t leave, it’s night and they don’t know the way. Whatever – just go outside, get a taxi, tell it where to take you. Soledad says they have to wait for Elias to come get them. Right now Elias is in such grief that I don’t really think he’ll be much help, but Soledad is the boss right now, what she says goes, I guess.

Elias and the other highway guy are going over some stuff, the other guy tells Elias to take the day off tomorrow, he has been working very hard. Elias seems in better shape now, at least when focusing on work, perhaps I was too hard on him in the previous paragraph. We will see. The other highway guy asks him if he has always gone to church, Elias says yes, the other guy says he hopes Elias finds what he needs there. Elias says he found much more than that. Careful Elias, don’t be like everyone else, completely unable to keep a secret! The other highway guy just says “I’m glad for you” and leaves. Whew. These people crack under interrogation, like the first time someone says hello. Like this – “Hello Elias.” “Ok ok you beat it out of me – Alina and Soledad are at the church! Enough already! Quit torturing me!” Good thing other highway guy didn’t raise an eyebrow or something. After the other highway guy leaves, Elias thought bubbles that Emiliooo is the only one that can help him with the ladies, tomorrow Elias will go ask Emiliooo to go with him to the church.

Orlando follows Thelma into her room, laughing at her. Thelma says whatever, laugh it up. She tells him that Emiliooo doesn’t touch her, she needs “the heat of a man.” Orlando insinuates that she should come to him for that. Yeah right, Eddie Haskell, I’m sure the first time she gets horny she’ll think of YOU. He says he won’t tell Emiliooo, but his silence isn’t free! He takes a sniff of the air between them, I guess he wants some hush nookie too. She’s going to be on her back 24/7 just paying people to keep quiet, or kill someone, or whatever else. After Orlando leaves, Thelma calls him stupid and says she hates him. I suspect this means they will be together in the end, unless one of them gets killed, which is possible.

Jeremias has had his fill for the night and is leaving Edelmira’s joint. She wants to know where he is going. What, she has him locked up too? He says he’s going to see Don Loco, he saw Alina and knows where she is. Edelmira is a little impactada. She shoves a free drink in his face to try and get him liquored up, so he’ll spill what he knows. Apparently the combination to his ‘vault’ is the same as Elaine from Seinfeld.

Hugo stands next to Don Loco’s bed and asks him how he feels. Don Loco wants to know what happened, Hugo tells him that he got shot up with a sedative, to settle his nerves or something. Hugo tells him that Mariana was there to see him and she’s waiting until he wakes up. Don Loco tells Hugo to go make sure to send her back to Mexico City, he doesn’t want to see her. Hugo says he’s on it.

In the morning, Alina tells Soledad that she didn’t sleep all night. Neither did Soledad. Perhaps it was because you two idiotas should have been out on the run? Soledad says that Jeremias can’t have said anything yet, Don Loco wouldn’t accept a visitor like him during the night. Yeah right, all Jeremias had to say was Alina or Soledad and Don Loco would be right out there accusing Jeremias of sleeping with his wife. Once they got that sorted out, then Jeremias could tell Don Loco his information. Alina and Soledad sit and dream about how they are about to be free, never to return. Since they are making a big deal of it, I’m sure they aren’t going to get free. Just a hunch.

Elias asks Emiliooo if he’ll still help Alina and Soledad, Emiliooo says of course, do you know something? Elias says he knows where they are. Thelma just happens to walk out right now onto the landing on the top of the stairs, right above where the men are talking. So of course, the men keep talking at full volume. Idiots. Elias announces that the women are at the church, Thelma listens to the whole thing.

Mariana tells Adela that she wants to talk to Don Loco but he doesn’t seem to want to talk to her. Adela says he isn’t feeling well, you know how it is. Mariana says she wants to tell Don Loco that she’s getting married, she hopes to see Don Loco at the wedding. She gives Adela a note to give to Don Loco. She says she wants to see Alina and Soledad, Adela says “uh yeah….. sure.”

Elias tells Emiliooo that it is super important that nobody sees the women! They leave to help the ladies while Thelma runs back to her room with her new info, which she immediately tells to Orlando. Ok – Thelma is in a robe, Orlando is in clothes, did she just pay him some hush nookie? She doesn’t have that satisfied look like she has after a ‘chat’ with Castulo.

Hugo is driving a carriage with Mariana riding, it is obvious why they need a proper road out here. Cripes, it’s like an amusement park ride. Mariana says she doesn’t feel good about leaving Don Loco in his present condition. She tries to pump Hugo for information, but Hugo doesn’t reveal anything.

Don Loco tries to pay Dr. Z, but the doctor won’t take the money. Dr. Z tells Don Loco that he has pathological jealousy. Some dedicated folks here at Caray Caray have already made that diagnosis, Dr. Z is falling behind! Don Loco won’t hear any more. Dr. Z says they need to treat his condition or….. Don Loco tells him to get out. Just then, Sergio busts in. “You called, Don Loco?” He should have said it like Lurch – “You rannnnggg?” Don Loco says yes, see the Dr. out. Dr. Z says don’t bother, I know the way out. Adela wandered in behind Sergio, she just watches. I’m sure this is just a small piece of the good chisme she gets on a daily basis. Sergio and the doctor leave. Don Loco asks Adela what she told Mariana, Adela says just what Don Loco told her to say, that Soledad and Alina were on a trip. She gives him the note that Mariana left for him. Don Loco says it’s good she’s getting married, he won’t have to take care of her any more. What a guy.

Elias catches Emiliooo up on the story we are so familiar with. Don Loco is sure that Soledad cheated and Alina isn’t his daughter. The reality is that he is crazy. A DNA test would prove that Alina is his daughter. Ok, Emiliooo, let’s go get them!

Soledad says that Elias won’t be long now. Doesn’t Alina want to say goodbye to the padre? Alina gets long winded, yes she wants to say goodbye but can’t seem to go do it, it’s like saying goodbye to everything all at once, etc etc. Oh for crying out loud – Soledad says it is saying goodbye to the story of pain, hurt, all that stuff, Stupid Alina says “Yes but it is also saying goodbye the story where I met Emiliooo.” To me, that goes right along with the pain, hurt, all that stuff. That guy is a tool, move on already. I know you are dumb, Alina, but you are also pretty hot, and because of that you will always be able to find someone else. Maybe the next guy isn’t as much of a tool as our friend Emiliooo. Just a little friendly advice. Soledad rightly says “Wtf? He came back and humiliated you!” Alina drones on some more with her usual crap. I can’t make myself repeat it.

Thelma is wearing a shirt that appears to be made to accentuate the boobs but hide the stomach, this might be her first attempt at maternity wear. Anything that accentuates the boobs is ok by me. Singing Aunt tells her that she has to convince Emiliooo to move away with her for the health of the baby. Haven’t we heard all this before? Thelma rants and raves.

Emiliooo and Elias ride the rickety coach towards town. A wheel gets stuck in a hole in the road. They get down to try and free it. They decide it’s going to be difficult.

Orlando is telling Sergio that it is urgent, he has to see Don Loco, Sergio says no way. Don Loco comes in and asks what’s going on. Orlando tells him where the women are and Don Loco is impactado. Going into commercial impactado. Speaking of commercial, this is the first commercial and we are already 18 minutes into the show! Wow.

During the commercial for Destilando Amor, there is a lady played by the same actress as Luba! She didn’t waste any time getting into another show.

Orlando says yes, he is sure they are there, Elias said it. Don Loco, of course, thinks that Elias is after Soledad. Actually, he might be right this time. Don Loco tells Sergio to get the horses ready but Orlando insists on going with him instead of Sergio. Don Loco says fine, and Orlando will be rewarded.

Thelma is trying to recruit Angel in the cause of “Let’s move back to the city.” She says this place is going to kill him. He says if he dies, he prefers it to be here. He can be put in the crypt with his parents. Thelma says “are you crazy? I don’t want to stay here!” Angel says, “Then go! And take Emilioooo with you!” Thelma correctly points out that Emilioooo won’t go anywhere without Angel. And why does he want to stay? To win that grubby woman? Has he looked in a mirror lately? I forgot to mention, Angel is coughing so much now, he’s making up for the last month where he kept forgetting to cough during his scenes, he is really laying it on thick now. Angel yells at Thelma to leave, she says he’s a loser, no woman will ever see anything in him. He keeps telling her to get out. On her way out, she almost runs into Sexy Nurse Suzi on her way in. Speaking of “no woman will see anything in you,” here is the one woman silly enough to make that statement false. She looks great in some tight white pants and a sheer shirt that you can see her bra through. It’s great. She gives Angel a sip of water, through his coughs he says “Thelma is right. I’m not good for anything.” I’m sick of him and his whining. I think he really DOES believe that Sexy Nurse Suzi is in love with him, that’s why he keeps trying to play “poor me” when she’s around, to make sure she keeps feeling for him. He coughs some more.

Emiliooo tries to push the wheel out by himself while Elias tries to push the horses. Emiliooo gets a shovel and tries to dig out the wheel.

The ladies and the priest are standing outside in front of the church wondering where Elias is. Soledad says all they can do is wait, Alina says she is desperate and runs off saying she has to do something. Great. Whatever she has to do, it is sure to be the end of this escape attempt. She ruins everything. Soledad says she wants to confess before they leave. She confesses to having hate in her heart. The priest says she has to forgive, but she says she can’t. Not after all the things Don Loco did to her and her daughter. The priest still says she has to forgive, but Soledad again says she can’t. She is confessing because she knows that hate is a sin, so she wants to do the penance for it, but she can’t forgive.

Alina is saying goodbye to Donkey, she is sorry she can’t take him with her. He’ll be happy with Luba.

In Puebla, the general who sent Emiliooo and his gang to go build the road is getting a report from another soldier. There are reports that Jose and Arcadio are on their way back to Mexico, they might be dangerous and they might be planning to set up a new group here similar to the one they were part of in central America. The soldier is requesting some of the men building the road to be moved over to him to help track down Arcadio and Jose. The general says yes.

In Mexico City, Malena leaves Mariana a note saying that Marianita is very ill and she went to the hospital to be with her. She opens the door to leave and there are Jose and Arcadio! Malena is impactada. How did they get there so fast? They weren’t on a plane! They were in the back of a truck! Also, can you imagine how incredibly rank those guys must smell by now? They can’t have showered or changed clothes in weeks. Not to mention that they must have peed on themselves during that long truck ride. These issues aren’t ever addressed on these shows. I do remember commenting on how they glossed over how people went to the bathroom, only to be treated with more and more shots of people crouching over chamberpots as time went on. Maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

Marianita wakes up and asks for her mom. Dr. Love says she’ll be there soon. He tells the other doctor that the girl has to live or Mariana will never forgive him. He is going to administer more treatment. The other doctor wishes him luck. Maybe he should consult his puppet for advice, hmm? Dr. Love says losing Marianita would be too much, he wants to be a father for her, and it would be a killing blow for Mariana. No duh, genius.

Jose apologizes for not calling ahead. I find this hilarious. “I’ve been gone forever and now I’m back, sorry I didn’t call first.” Malena has the gall to get mad at Jose, asking how he could just show up after all this time. Jose said he sent a card, Malena said the card was full of lies. Arcadio butts in and says she has no idea what they have been through, now they are tired, can they get a drink of water? Malena says yes, then you have to get out. Jose asks where Mariana and their daughter are, Malena says they aren’t here and she won’t let him come back in and change their lives. Arcadio the friggin genius decides now is the time to say something to Jose about Felicia having been pregnant by Jose. Of course Malena overhears and is impactada.

In Puebla, Santos is packing up, he is going back to find Rosita. His hottie mom, who favors little dresses that her boobs completely fall out of (I of course approve), begs him not to go. She will go find Rosita and bring her here, then they can get married here. Santos says no, he has to go himself, but nothing will happen. Hottie mom acts like she’s having a heart attack, Santos runs for help. When he’s gone, she is immediately back to normal and says “Sorry son, but I can’t let you go back there.”

Rosita’s dad wants to know where she got a new cut on her forehead. She says it was Don max, dad swears he’s going to kill him, but Rosita stops him by saying it was her own fault. She tells him that she tried to kill him and she hates him with all her soul.

Hottie mom talks to some friend about Santos going back to the hacienda. Nothing interesting, really.

Some other guys have come along to help get the carriage out. It finally pops out of the rut, just like that. Elias and Emiliooo get back on and off they go.

Orlando tells Thelma that he told Don Loco where the ladies are, Thelma hopes Emilioooo and Don Loco don’t fight again over that mugrosa. She is lounging on her back eating pieces of watermelon with a fork. Orlando reminds her about the idea for Alina to be their maid, Thelma says she changed her mind, she doesn’t want Alina in the house. Orlando says don’t you remember that having her here is part of my plan? Orlando tells Thelma that she will go along with his plan, or he will tell Emiliooo that she is boinking Castulo AND that the baby isn’t Emilioooo’s. Wow I didn’t realize how many holes Thelma has dug for herself. And to think she has to rely on Orlando to keep it a secret. Good luck Thelma.

Jose asks Malena again where Mariana and their daughter are. Malena says that Mariana is in Sierra Escondida, but doesn’t say why. Jose asks if the girl is with her, Malena tells him no, she is in the hospital. Jose is slow-motion impactado, I thought for sure this was going to be a commercial. They are giving slow-motion impactados to people not headed into commercials these days and it’s tricking me.

The ladies fuss and worry that something happened to Elias. Don Loco and Sergio ride up. Wait, I thought Orlando was going with? Maybe Don Loco wanted Orlando to go with and Orlando said no, maybe I got it backwards. Don Loco asks the ladies, why those faces? Weren’t you expecting me? I guess DL and Sergio took a different way to town than Elias and Emiloooo, since they didn’t run into them on the way. And how convenient that the carriage got stuck, giving the crazies time to show up first. The priest asks the dumbest question of all time, “What are you doing here, Don Loco?” DUH Padre, what do you think? Cripes. Don Loco says he’s here to take his wife home. Soledad says no way, I’m not going. The priest says you heard her, now make like a tree and get out of here. Back and forth, Don Loco tells the priest to butt out, tells the ladies to come, the ladies say no, the priest tells DL to get out. Soledad says they need to get a DNA test, she never cheated on him, she swears it. They accuse each other of ruining each other’s lives.

Jose is upset that his daughter is in the hospital. Malena says that the girl has leukemia. Jose is very upset and wants to know where she is to go see her. Malena says she’ll take them. Nobody notices the note that Malena left on the table.

Soledad begs to be left in peace. Another back and forth of you’re coming with me, no I’m not, Don Loco you can’t do that, butt out Padre. Yawn. How long will they drag that scene out?

Luba is kicking back with a smoke. This appears to be a regular issue cig, not one of her doobies. She has an orange flashback of (I think, he has a long ponytail) Gaspar Sr. slapping her around, saying she cheated on him. She doesn’t deny it. Gaspar Sr. says he’s going to send her back to her family, she begs him not to. He slaps her again, knocking her off of the bed onto the floor. Gaspar Sr. yells at her some more that she has to take care of his kids, I really didn’t understand what he ranted about. He wouldn’t send her to her family, but she couldn’t stay in his bed. Now get out. Back in the present, Luba comments on her bad luck. The only good thing that happened to her is her Gaspar.

Alvaro has had enough, he calls Sergio to help him. The priest butts in one more time, Don Loco punches him, dropping him to the pavement. Don Loco and Sergio grab the women and make ready to leave, but just then Elias and Emilioooo arrive. Elias tells Don Loco to leave the women alone. Emiliooo just sits there like a lump and says nothing.

Gaspar and Nora dip their feet in to the water off of a pier. Gaspar says he can’t go any farther than the river, if he gets closer to the house his munequita will get upset. Nora, obviously, isn’t pleased to be hearing about her again. Can’t he talk about anything else? He says yes, she is going to give him a baby. He wants it now so they can play. Nora tries to explain that it takes a long time for the baby to come. He says they should go to Nora’s house, and she can give him a baby. Was that a proposition? She is pissed off and says with you, no. Goodbye. She takes off. Gaspar doesn’t understand.

The boys get off the coach and walk up to Don Loco. Showdown time. Don Loco says he came to retrieve his wife. Emiliooo says that if she wants to go with him they can’t interfere, but he has no claim on Alina. She isn’t his daughter, right? Don Loco says no, she isn’t. Well then, you can’t take her. Don Loco actually says fine, whatever. She won’t be happy at Emiliooo’s house either. Emilioooo asks why, but we don’t get an answer. Don Loco tries to take Soledad but Elias says no, he can’t take her either. Emiliooo starts to get involved but Elias says it’s between him and DL. He makes a move to punch DL, but of course Don Loco has fought more and blocks the punch, then knocks Elias down with a punch to the face. Don Loco draws his gun on Elias and says he’s going to kill him. Emilioooo pulls his own gun on Don Loco, telling him that he won’t let him do that. This is a real Mexican standoff, at least if Elias pulled a gun on Emiliooo. They are in Mexico and everything. Emiliooo tells Don Loco to put his gun down, DL just stares at Elias down the barrel of his gun.

Dr. Love and his nurse are giving Marianita some treatment. Malena and Jose arrive, Jose is very sad at the sight of his sick daughter. Dr. Love is not at all happy to see that Jose, the father, has arrived. Jose cries and cries. Marianita wakes up and asks for her mama. She asks who he is. He tells her that he is her father, Jose. She is happy that he returned. You aren’t going to leave, right? Jose says no. Jose shows her the picture of her that he always carried with him. She thanks him for keeping her with him.

Soledad gets between Elias and Don Loco and tells them both to calm down. Stupid Soledad says she will go back with Don Loco, even though he just made some crack about her and ‘how she is.’ Alina is screaming for her not to go back with him, so is Elias. Emilioooo, however, just tells Alina “Let’s go.” This guy is such a loser. “Yeah ok, your mom, whatever, let’s get out of here.” Stupid Soledad says it’s for the best and she leaves with Don Loco, who tells Emilioooo to take Alina and get lost. Elias stays with the priest to get fixed up after Don Loco kicked his ass. Emiliooo gets in the carriage with Alina, who is going to drive? Alina cries after her mom.

Jose and Marianita talk and cry some more. He tells her he doesn’t want her to be sick any more. Because it isn’t fair. Malena says God works in strange ways and there’s nothing we can do about it. Malena and Dr. Love leave Jose alone with the girl. She tells Jose that the girls tease her about not having hair. He tells her that she’s beautiful. He gets some clippers that just happen to be there and shaves his head to be bald like hers, telling her over and over that she is hermosa. She likes his new look. Well, it isn’t bald, just really short, a buzz cut. That’s not quite the bald head of solidarity I was expecting. He promises that she’ll get better. She doesn’t want any more doctors, she wants them to all be together, she and her parents. Suddenly the heart monitor flatlines. Jose cries and cries. This hospital totally sucks, nobody responds to the girl DYING. I hope I’m never in Mexico City and sick.

Monday – Emiliooo the genius takes Alina back to his own house and expects that to be just fine with everyone.

Labels: duelo

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