Caray, Caray!

Aah, our grateful public. 9:29 this morning and I'd already been given up for dead by a comment asking somebody else to hurry up and write a recap. Friends, I actually fell asleep last night with the recap notebook in my lap and the remote in my left hand. I resumed this morning and here you go. It's not exactly late, you know!!!!!!

I wasn't able to see the Thursday or Friday shows, so Alicia's slithering away to avoid Aldo's "let's meet for coffee somewhere quiet" (for fear of hearing something she doesn't want to hear, like for instance that he's not going to marry her) was news to me. The cuartel gives Lety her photo ID, oh be still my heart.

Fern is too distracted for normal conversation, he doesn't want his papers in a box, he wants to stuff them in his suitcase, Sara later shows up with a wild weird smile on her face and a briefcase which he pronounces satisfactory and then tells Omar "your secretary is not right in the head."

Omar says Fern's a genie, he should grant three wishes, they do a little routine from ??, Fern says, Zero Humor, Omar. Omar mocks Fern's nose (trumpet/elephant's trunk), tender from the fight. Fern asides to the cuartel that Omar is in Luigi's club.

Ariel's chauffeur shows up to take Lety to dinner, an odious engagement she'd forgotten. She says "get me the directions, I'll drive myself." Lety proves, tonight, that she's not going to let anybody push her around. Fern snatches the directions on their way to PM.

[what's with higado es encebollado? your liver's onioned? is that like, your goose is cooked?]

Tomas can't understand why Lety's willing to eat with Ariel, that jerk. "He thinks he'll take me out to a fancy restaurant, make me uncomfortable, prove I'm not ready to be president." "Oh, you'll be like a fish in water, wherever, however elegant," says her supportive friend Tomas, who nonetheless is impactado that he'll therefore have to take a taxi, or, horrors, a micro-bus - and he a blond at that! He has learned the blonds-don't-ride-the-microbus rule from that other blond in the vicinity. He tells Lety to call him on his cell if she needs help, but gets flustered remembering he gave his cell to that convenenciera Alicia.

Omar and Fern go back to the office and, as usual, Fern feints and lunges for the chair, Omar holds him back and sez "give me a chance," Fern sez "of course, after you," but then shoves him into a wall and gets the throne anyway.

Fern and an unwilling Omar are continuing the obsessive gossip about Lety's plans and intentions when they are interrupted by Marcia. He sez he'll meet her at her place later. How nice, sez Omar. She doesn't have blood in her veins, but lead, mutters Fern.

Omar mocks: while in the US, Fern is leaving Lety in the hands of the bandit. And now she has THREE suitors. Fern laughs insanely and without humor.

Seeing Marcia, Alicia rushes over to cadge a ride. Marcia sez ok on two conditions: "Be completely quiet. And don't dream of asking for a ride in the morning because I'm taking my BOYFRIEND FERNANDO to the airport."

All converge at Loco central with Alicia (still dancing around clutching Marcia's wedding dress to her own ample bosom), Marcia (in a silver satan shirt which is very unflattering), Lety ("perfumed appropriately"), and Fern. Nothing happens.

Lety arrives, unenthusiastic, at the restaurant. Ariel sez: "I've waited half an hour." "You were lucky you didn't wait all night." "Champagne?" "No, lemonade." "You don't want a stronger aperitif? You don't like alcohol?" "Yes, I do, but alcohol is for special occasions, for friends, family, people I like. With others - I drink lemonade." "This is not a special occasion?" "Yes, it's especially boring."

We suddenly see Fern, once again in the bushes talking obsessively to a bemused waiter. He calls himself an imbecile.

Ariel continues, "Lety, why not set aside your rancor?" "You think in the space of a day I'll forget the horrible things you've said and done?" "Why not?" "Well, in fact, I don't hold a grudge..." "Let's toast that, then." "... but I prefer to stay way from arrogant overbearing (prepotente) people like you. I try not to get cozy with opportunists, who end up on their knees when things to badly." "You think I'm on my knees?!" "Well, before I was president you'd never have invited me to dinner."

Ariel suavely orders the Lobster Thermidor. To Lety: "shall I order for you?" The names of foods so luxurious they are not in my dictionary drip sensuously off his tongue, but she is unmoved. "Don't knock yourself out, Ariel. Due to the caprices (azares) of fortune, the new president of Conceptos is a modest woman who enjoys what she has and doesn't need luxuries. That's an advantage during an austerity program, it ensures I won't spend funds that don't belong to me."

"Your simplicity shines brightly, it's seductive." "Waiter, chicken and asparagus, please." They assure him they're just playing a game. "Lety, even though you reject me and call me arrogant, I feel good around you, let's drink to that." "OK, and also to the hope that this evening will soon be over."

Fern, in the bushes, tells the waiter he's ready for another fight ("over THAT woman?" asks the waiter) and that Ariel's always been a louse. "He fell on his head when he was little and isn't normal [Fern pushed him] and when I took his bike he whined 'Daddy, daddy, that aggressive Fernando took my bike!' That snot! He's not the problem. Aldo, he's the real problem, he can conquer her without any trouble."

Ariel, suavely: "Too bad you didn't order the lobster." "I've had the best, on a yacht in the bay of Acapulco, freshly caught and prepared by the best chef in the world. But let's get down to business, what do you want?" "I want a big advance on my monthly stipend, as befits an important Conceptos shareholder."

There is a dull scene between Aldo and his dad, over dinner, which will be intercut through the rest of the show, contrasting Aldo's opinions about Lety and what she needs and the quality of his love versus the quality of Fern's love. It's lucky Pop showed up for dinner, else Aldo would have had to say all this stuff to himself. It boils down to: Aldo's sure he's right for Lety, his love is pure and unconditional and based on what she needs. Fern loves Lety only for himself. (It's true that Aldo only knows the worst side of the saga so I forgive him for this complacent diatribe. Also he got punched a lot so of course he's irritated.)

Lety to Ariel: "Well, you just wasted a ton of money on this dinner, because no can do, I can't give you a dime." "You just told me you hold no grudge. I NEEEEEEEED the money." "For now, the biz doesn't have the wherewithal to give you this luxury." "An economist of your caliber, who's managed before to cover up Fern's multi-million dollar disasters, you can't manage to give me a suitable hefty advance?" [Fern hurls a spitball and hits Ariel in the back of the neck, Ariel jumps.] [UPDATE: OK, OK, they weren't spitballs, they were plastic grapes, our loyal commenters inform me. My tv is far away and my eyes aren't good.]

"That, I did out of loyalty to my boss, and luckily, I owe you nothing whatsoever. Tell you what, let's cancel our order here. A guy with economic problems like yours obviously can't afford lobster." She pulls out her pocketbook, I guess to pay for her lemonade, he says not so fast.

Another spitball, Ariel jumps up. "You want to go?" she asks. "No, it's that your new personality makes me nervous. Please, let's eat. We have a lot to talk about. We can talk about your love life, how's it going?" Her eye twitches and she snaps, "We won't discuss that." "Your new position and power make you a more interesting woman." "Ariel, I'll give you advice - if you want to find an interesting woman, seek with your eyes closed so you can hear her." "How's your sex life?" is his next question, "you seem so confident, you must be getting some."

She jumps up. He takes her hand and (guácala) strokes it. "Sorry, Lety, that's just a routine question." "You want to get me mad enough to hit you in front of todo el mundo but I won't give you the satisfaction." "I hoped for a different kind of satisfaction. Aren't you lonely? I could pay your expenses..." "You'll make me your kept woman so I'll give you your advance?!!?"

Furious, she storms out and is intercepted by Fern. She says, "what is this? Ariel is inside." "I know." [He mimes his successful spitball attack.] "He was all over you!" "Yes, but I was all business." "Of course, you wouldn't put the horns on your boyfriend." "Who's my boyfriend?" "ALLLLLdo DomensaEEENNN!" "I don't have to give you explanations and you better leave lest Ariel rat us out to Marcia and say he saw you with me." "Lety, what's going on, you're not the woman you were, are you really dating two guys?" [Fern: his own worst enemy, take #MCMXII.]

Fern self-righteously warns Lety about Ariel's smooth strategies, his elegance, "is he seducing you?" "Yes, imagine, he's trying to take me to bed to save his business, to have me at his beck and call, how original, it's the first time an important executive has seduced me to save his business... let's leave it at that, but thanks for your help, without your advice, I'd surely fall cause I'm such a sucker for this kind of executive."

Fern points out that Ariel always insulted her. "Yes, but he always did it to my face, he didn't mount a secret campaign with his best friend to deceive me." She drops her guard a bit and tells him how much that had hurt her, and then resumed her sarcasm attack: "Ariel is out in the open - it's obvious he just wants me on his side."

"Don Fernando, are you afraid if I talk to Ariel, your worst enemy, it will damage your interests? Are you afraid we're planning against you?" "The truth is, I can't stand to see you with another man, not Ariel, not Aldo." "We won't talk about Aldo, but why not sit with Ariel and exchange experiences?"

Ariel's cellphone alerts them to his passing and Lety pulls Fern into the bushes to hide as Ariel strides by.

Fern blusters: "That idiot's going to hear about it from me for making fun of you!" "Don't complicate things for us more than they are already." Fern says the difference between "that executive" and "this executive" is that "that guy would never fall in love with you." "Be quiet!" "No guy could be as love with you as I am." [cut to Aldo droning on about his pure love and Fern's weakness and dishonesty]

"Don Fernando, go home. "I can't get you out of my heart, I can't forget the incredible times we had, like our getaway to Cuernavaca..." (she cries, he's making some headway) "... Let's go off together right now, I need your kisses, the touch of your skin will revive me, let's begin again, can't you see we were born for each other?"

[Aldo is telling his father: "Fern is so scattered, he makes her forget what she needs for herself, he's insecure, his self-esteem is in pieces." "Yes, but she's still in love with him." "Yes, true. My love is so pure, if I knew Fern would make her happy I would give them my blessings."]

Lety's eyes narrow. "Are you afraid Aldo is perpetrating fraud at Conceptos?" She remembers the way Fern behaved about Tomas. Despite his panicked assurances, Fern has lost her for the nonce. "Oh, I'm such an idiot, I almost believed you. Forget it, and leave me alone."

[Aldo: "The more sincere Fern tries to be, the falser he looks."]

Fern: "From now on we won't be seeing each other, I'm going away." "I hope by the time you get back you'll have matured and stopped trying to use people for your personal gain." "When I get back, I'll have found a way to prove how much I love you." She cries and it's the golden circle of goodbye.

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