Caray, Caray!

When Don Loco demands that Alfonsina tell him everything she knows about Soledad and Jose, Alfonsina says Soledad is a liar, Jose gave Alfonsina the letter to give to Soledad. Alfonsina has a flashback thought bubble that the gold bracelet in Jose's cabin will be proof of Soledad's infidelity. Back in the present she tells Loco that Hugo found the bracelet so it must be true.

Over at the Loco sugar cane plantation Hugo is in the office calling himself estupido. He looks at Don Loco's gigantic portrait, pulls out a gun and vows he will get back what is his, whatever the cost.

Orlando sniggers at Angel and Emilio and says he's not going to marry Duhlina, this isn't some past century where he has to marry her to save her honor. The brothers Valtierra start pounding on Orlando. Well, Angel lunges and topples over, but Emilio punches Orlando's face and grabs his throat.

Thelma visits Duhlina in her room. Duhlina demands to know why Thelma betrayed her. Thelma calls Duhlina a floozy who came between her and Emilio, an opportunist who will sleep with any man to solve her problems and to get what she wants. Instead of smacking her Duhlina begs Thelma to tell her what happened.

Alfonsina convinces Don Loco that she and Hugo are faithful servants and it is Soledad who has always lied to him. She looks proud, like convincing him was a difficult task or something. She doesn't know Don Loco as well as we do. She thinks she's manipulating a normal person; just wait until she figures out how loco he is.

Don Max and Castulo break up the fight between Emilio and Orlando. Castulo carries a dizzy and pathetic Angel back to his room while Max demands an explanation from Emilio.

The Singing Auntie pops nerviosa pills like they're green M&M's. She tells Thelma she heard a baaaad conversation between Max and Castulo. Max isn't the man she thought he was and now she's afraid, very afraid.

Mexican Larry is in the woods doing something in the bushes. I don't even want to know what. He sees Luba and Gaspar picking herbs. Luba tells Gaspar that the servants at La Rinconada won't let her near Flor and she's worried about Flor's safety. Gaspar says he'll protect Flor. That's his line for the night. Mexican Larry whispers to himself that the witch must be picking herbs to cast a spell on Flor. He wipes his face with a bright red hankie and drops it on the ground before he skulks off. Mexican Larry, aka Jaime, used to be smart but he obviously contracted SESID because now he's as dumb as dirt. Dumber even.

Luba tells Gaspar that her cofre (chest) has disappeared and nobody must open it. Nobody!! Cut to the cofre in a dimly lit location surrounded by mist. Must be hidden in the Finnish sauna out back somewhere. Maybe it contains lutefisk.

Angel visits Duhlina in her room. All he wants to know is did she sleep with Orlando voluntarily. At first she says Angel will think what he wants, but then she remembers he's not the dunderhead Emilio, only his weak insipid brother, so she tells him Orlando raped her.

Angel swears he'll kill Orlando with his own hands. "Yeah right," says Duhlina. Angel admits he's no rival for Orlando, but Emilio is. Emilio will kick Orlando's butt! Angel says he's never liked Orlando, he'll convince Emilio that Orlando is a traitor.

Emilio tells Don Max that Angel came back to marry Flor. Max doesn't like this info. He tells Emilio the best thing for Angel would be to get him back to Puebla pronto so he can forget about Duhlina. Nice try Max, but unfortunately Emilio's work on the highway will keep the brothers around La Rinconada for a while. Emilio tells his tío that they will talk about hacienda business later. Max grunts and looks unhappy. He wants those boys outta there.

Soledad is feeding Mariana when Don Loco enters and says she's innocent and has been right all along. Just kidding, he accuses her of being a traitor. Yawn. The new twist here is that from now on he's going to keep Soledad next to him always so he can keep an eye on her. Alfonsina will care for Mariana. Mariana's eyes are impactados. I can't imagine that Alfonsina is going to be pleased with the way her plan is going. She thought she was going to be the Lady Of The Manor but instead she's going to be emptying colostomy bags for Don Loco's sister.

Angel confronts Thelma. Thelma tells him that as soon as they left, Duhlina was a complete flirt with Orlando. She clung to the only man around to get out of her shameful situation. She took him to bed so she could have a child, and she could be pregnant. (I think that's what she said.) Angel is impactado.

Mexican Larry tells the other cast member of Three's Company that he saw Luba picking herbs for something bad. Efiginia and Vera say she is the only curandera in these parts and she was probably just doing her business. Mexican Larry says he wants to report Luba to the authorities but Jack and Janet tell Larry to stay out of Luba's business lest she cast a spell on them.

Duhlina is in the chapel praying to the Virgencita. Janet, I mean Vera, joins her. She says she'll help protect Duhlina from Luba who is responsible for all the recent happenings. Duhlina is all "Que????? Why would you say such a thing?" Vera says Mexican Larry saw Luba in the abandoned but spotlessly clean cabin along with Gaspar and Thelma, implying, I suppose, that they are somehow mixed up. Duhlina looks confused. Duhlina, remember when Gaspar tried to tell you about Thelma being his muñequita? Thiiink baaack.

Out in the field, the head highway engineer is telling Emilio that they need to move the highway closer to the zone of caves when suddenly they are interrupted by Orlando. His face is beaten to a pulp. Orlando and Emilio bicker back and forth until finally Emilio pulls rank, tells Orlando to shut up, pack his bags and get his sorry ass back to Puebla.

Duhlina prays to the Virgencita that Vera is wrong about Luba and Gaspar being in cahoots with Thelma.

Cut to commercial break with Luba stabbing her big knife into the tree.

Alfonsina tells Loco she doesn't want to take care of Mariana. She'll take her things and go back to Veracruz. Loco says she'll do what he orders! Big surprise.

Back at La Rinconada Orlando, drinking lots of Emilio's booze, tells Emilio he doesn't want to go to Puebla, waaaah. Thelma butts in. It sounds like she's getting laryngitis, probably from shrieking at all the servants. Orlando complains, "Your husband is making me leave." Thelma says if Orlando goes to Puebla then she'll go with him and Emilio will never know his son. Thank you Jesus, everybody's prayers have been answered! But stupid Emilio shakes his head.

Singing Auntie sings through her open window. Don Max pops up, grabs her hand and invites "Rebequita" for a stroll in the garden later that afternoon. "Certainly Maximooooooooo, now let me get pretty for you," she coos before shutting the window. What did I miss? Did she forget what she overheard? Alone, Max's eyes dart around and he whispers, "I have to find out if the old bat heard what Castulo and I talked about. I think she did..."

Emilio tells Thelma not to butt into his business but he'll do what she wants for the kid. Then he says Orlando has to obey all his orders. After Emilio stomps off Orlando breaks into a huge grin and snickers into his snifter.

Don Loco tells Sergio he wants Elias thrown into jail, after that they will take care of the little doctor.

Santos tells the Hermit Headshrinker that he still doesn't remember anything but if he walks around town maybe something will be familiar. Bad idea, the doc points out, reminding Santos that someone wants to kill him. Santos holds a rose and says he knows it signifies something important...

Rosita stands outside her house pining for Santos. Don Max rides up, taunts her, then grabs her. Carmen runs out and yells at him. He insults her. Rosita calls him a pig and says when Santos returns he'll put Don Max in his place! "Dream on," says Max, "it ain't gonna happen cuz Santos is dead." Carmen screams, her mouth a perfect "O".

Angel tells Duhlina he [hack hack] has the solution to all her problems [hack hack]. "Will you marry me?" She doesn't look impactada, more like baffled. She tells him that her heart belongs to another. Ouch, the heavy brick of symbolism just dropped on my toe.

Soledad says goodbye to Mariana who becomes very emotional. Mariana thought bubbles "Listen to me Soledad, for God's sake hear me!!" Then she moves her hand. Soledad figures Mariana is trying to tell her something, but what? Does Mariana know the truth about the letter? Blink. Soledad is impactada, Mariana knows the truth!

Soledad tries to get all the details out of Mariana, one blink at a time. In fact she asks Mariana if the letter was for her, but before Mariana can blink Don Loco interrupts.

Soledad shrieks over and over that Mariana knows the truth. Don Loco gets worked up into a lather and slaps her hard. "Don't include my sister in your betrayals." He drags her out and Mariana gets buggy.

The hysterical Rosita and Carmen accuse Max of killing Santos, how else would he know Santos is dead? "Uh, I meant PROBABLY dead, because he disappeared," Max says. By the way, I think Don Max looks great tonight. He's wearing a black satin or leather suit with embroidered velvet lapels. Even his holster matches. Too bad he's such a disgusting pig because I'm thinking he looks kind of hot in an overstuffed, bloated, over-the-top sort of way. Whoa, did I just say that? Never mind. The women call him a murderer as he rides away.

Thelma is in a snit because, well, she's always in a snit and Emilio is still obviously smitten with Duhlina. Orlando thinks it's hilarious because the imbecil Emilio can't bear to think that Duhlina is "his." If only he (Emilio) knew that he (Orlando) never even made love to that idiot Duhlina. "What?" shrieks Thelma, "You couldn't even do it? Why didn't you make her yours, imbecile?" She pretty much wipes the smile off his face.

Don Loco marches Soledad upstairs. She breaks free and teeters on the top step, about to fall...

Loco grabs her. "I almost killed you," he says, smoothing her hair, "I can't imagine life without you." They almost kiss. He kisses her forehead and tenderly leads her away. GACK! This is too sick. Whoever wrote this crap should be thrown into a whirlpool with rabid coyotes.

Elias sees Emilio at the work site and asks about Alina. Emilio says she is fine and has been hanging with the Lietenant; they have a special friendship. Elias looks confused and concerned.

Angel asks Duhlina what if she's pregnant? "No puede ser!" she exclaims, "pregnant by Orlando?" God she's stupid.

Luba comes into the kitchen of Hacienda Loco just as Adela quickly locks the cabinet. "Whatcha got in there?" asks Luba. She tells Adela she doesn't think it's food, but rather her cofre. She shakes Adela and glares at her, "Tell me the truth!"

Thelma insults Orlando's manhood and they call each other imbecile. They should read our vocabulary lists; they'd find lots of other insulting words to use instead of the same one over and over. He threatens her that she'd better not tell anyone he couldn't get his soldier to salute (Thanks Chris!) because Emilio has to believe Duhlina belongs to him. "What a small man you are," she mutters as he slams the door behind him.

Luba tells Adela that if anyone opens the cofre they will be left blinded, one-eyed, and all the demons inside will be let out. OK then, that would be lutefisk in the cofre. Adela vows she hasn't seen it, but after Luba leaves she holds the keys to her chest and gasps, "My God!"

Emilio tells the heavens that he blames himself for all that has happened to Duhlina.

Braulio returns to find Rosita and Carmen in hysterics and sobbing that Don Max killed Santos. Braulio wants to report him to the authorities but Rosita talks him out of it. Why bother? He's Don Loco's friend and nothing will come of it. Carmen vows that Max will pay if it's the last thing she does in her life. So it probably will be.

Don Loco and Soledad fight about Adela. Loco yells for Adela and he accuses her of being Soledad's accomplice. He orders her to pack up and leave. She's fired. Adela and Soledad touch fingers before Adela runs out.

Mariana feels guilty about not being able to tell the truth. She has flashbacks to Marianita and Jose. At least they are at peace and in heaven together. Alfonsina sashays in and taunts Mariana. Sí, Alfonsina knows everything and Mariana can do nothing because she's a miserable rag laying there in her bed. Mariana will guard Alfonsina's secret and she will guard Mariana's. By the way, where is the little nipper? Mariana gives Alfonsina the gigantic evil bug-eye. Alfonsina freaks out and turns Mariana's head away.

Soledad and Don Loco fight about Adela, Jose, whatever, blah blah blah. I wish they would shoot each other.

Duhlina begs Orlando to tell Emilio the truth, that he trapped and drugged her. Fat chance. He says it's all her fault for leading him on. Typical rapist rhetoric.

Thelma rants while Auntie Fly gets all gussied up for her date with the Spider. "Who would want to take you out?" asks Thelma unkindly. [Tocan a la puerta.] Surprise, it's Don Max looking like the well-dressed tarantula that he is. It's too bad he's probably going to kill Auntie because they make a smashing couple. And say, doesn't her dress look like it's got a spider web on it? Hmmm...

"What a horror," grimaces Thelma, "what does Maximo want with her? And I thought she was afraid of him. How odd. Nothing good will come of this."

Emilio sees Duhlina and Orlando together and assumes the worst. He says Duhlina is free to do whatever she wants. After he leaves she does just that, she slaps Orlando across the face. Every time he shows up he has a new wound on his face.

Dr. Love enters Elias's cabin with a can of gasoline. The plan is to light Don Loco's coffee plantation on fire and create a diversion. While Don Loco is busy with his crop burning Soledad and Elias will help Dr. Love grab Mariana so they can escape. I guess Dr. Love has a car. Elias says Don Loco will be furious but hopefully Dr. Love and Mariana will be far away by then. After they escape Elias will save Soledad and Duhlina from the sicko.

Emilio and Duhlina have a stupid little spat about how he doesn't believe her, she doesn't love him, yes she loves him, OK he loves her, he's going to show her how he really feels, he lays a wet one on her, but it's not his usual wide mouth bass smooch. This one is more like he's sucking on a hose, or maybe a bong pipe. The end.

P.S. Tonki is still AWOL.

Advance for tomorrow: Soledad is tied up on the bed. While Loco sleeps she frees herself and points a gun at him.


enfermo/a = sicko
escuincle/a = little nipper
estar conchabado/a con = to be in cahoots with
gruta = grotto, cave
guiñapo = rag
tirado/a = worn out, miserable

Labels: duelo