Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Tuesday 5/22 - Hurricane Max blows out of Escondidaville

We get a promise from the lead-in: Tonight...a surprising episode! We see Don Loco strangling a prison guard and later Don Loco calling Alina a traitor. So far no surprises.

Alina goes through a series of flashbacks of Emilio and her in happier times. Most notably, her hair color keeps changing from brown, to dark blonde, to brown, then blonde and curly. Apparently Luba's arsenal of herbs includes a variety of organic hair dyes.

In Sierra Escondida (it tells us, duh) the head engineer shows Emilio the highway plans and suggests that Emilio go to Puebla to help General Ochoa's case against Don Loco. (This means Emilio might run into Alina!) But no, Emilio prefers to stay in SE and finish the road.

Soledad and Adela are ecstatic because they are going to visit Alina in Puebla. Soledad, as usual, has a huge suitcase packed full. Also as usual, it doesn't have wheels. Soledad runs out the door leaving the elder Adela to lug the big suitcase out the door. Class distinction at work folks.

The Boat Girls tell Grani and Coral that due to their bootie-shaking success at El Meson they're going to quit the club and take their act on the road. Then Coral announces that she plans to return to Puebla. Grani has a fainting spell but is rejuvenated when he realizes he'll get to play Madama of the casa. So far this is the only mildly surprising scene. Surprising because the Boat Girls kind of suck and I can't imagine them getting a job anywhere else.

Puny, moribund Angel snoops around Don Max's office and I must say he looks dreadful. He looked better when he was about to die. At least Sexy Nurse Susi used to wash his hair. Anyway, he searches the office for proof that Tío Max has cooked the books. He finds a suspicious red folder and stashes it inside his fringed suede jacket. I used to have a jacket like that...in 1969. Max comes in and asks what Angel is doing in there. Angel coughs in response.

Flor and Elias have a little tea party and discuss Don Loco's insane jealousy. Elias never could understand Don Loco's jealousies because he was a man who always had everything.

As Max grows suspicious Angel coughs more emphatically. Eventually Maximo gets tired of Angel not answering his questions (Why are you here? Why do you look suspicious? What are you looking for?) so he decides to shake the truth out of him. Shake, cough cough, shake, cough cough. Luckily Emilio bursts in before the red folder flies out of Angel's jacket.

Today it sucks to be Don Loco. He sits in his jail cell, hears maniacal laughter, and imagines he sees Elias and Soledad making out on the other side of the jail cell. "Traitor, you damn traitor," he screams. Three guards run in, Loco grabs the nearest one and begins to strangle him.

Alfonsina, dressed like a chocolate and vanilla layer cake, has made it back to her room at the canefield. She says out loud that she can't wait to tell the other workers about Hugo the traitor. She wants them to guard against him returning. Uh oh...who should walk in? "You think you can get rid of me that easily?" asks Hugo the traitor. He leers at her.

After the commercial Hugo backhands Alfonsina and says SHE is the traitor. She tries to lie her way out of it saying she got the facts twisted, she thought Hugo was going to blackmail the patron and keep all the money for himself. He doesn't buy her lame tale and slaps her some more, then he kisses her hard and throws her on the bed.

A waiter at the Devil's Cave is being questioned by a mystery man. The camera pans up to reveal...Orlando. Feh, some mystery. Orlando seeks Lucas who knew a waiter who used to work there. Orlando says he can't remember the guys name but he was mentally slow and had long hair. Hmmm...what's Orlando's game? Does he not know that it was Gaspar who worked at the Devil's Cave?

When Angel and Emilio are alone Angel whips out the incriminating red folder. Emilio looks at it and shows no emotion whatsoever, but the background music tells us that he is muy impactado.

Angel tells Emilio that not only is Uncle Max messing with the accounts and robbing them, he has a hidden past. It turns out Santos is his son, and it gets worse...Uncle Max wants to kill Santos, his own son.

Alina takes a nap but soon wakes up having a nightmare that she is getting throttled by daddy dearest.

Cut to Daddy Loco still throttling the guard.

The Devil's Cave waiter tells Orlando he knows someone who might know someone who might know where Lucas is. He'll try to find him if Orlando gives him a little downpayment.

Angel tells Emilio that he found Rosita trapped by Don Max. She told him Braulio killed Castulo because Castulo was actively trying to kill Santos. Emilio says "I am very disillusioned by our uncle." He adds that Santos is their cousin. Emilio plans to look in the red folder for proof of Max's cheating ways. They'll make him pay for his crimes.

Santos simultaneously realizes he is a Valtierra cousin, but he tells Rosita he's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Will the Valtierras try to get Braulio out of jail or will they be full of hot air like their uncle?

Braulio interrupts the corrupt police chief doing his duties...reading the newspaper with his feet on the desk. Things are slow with Don Loco out of town and not demanding that all his friends and family be jailed. Braulio says he came to turn himself in, he killed a man.

After reading the red folder Emilio tells Angel that the hacienda has realized enormous profits yet Max reported very little earnings. Does Angel suppose that their overfed, hard-drinking, womanizing, party boy uncle has been pocketing the profits? Emilio is outraged, Max is an insult to the the memory of their parents!

Emilio manages to make this problem all about him as usual. Max, Orlando, and Thelma have all disappointed him. He wants to divorce Thelma. Angel gives Emilio a boring lecture about how to be a good papa to his son. To paraphrase: Emilio should remain in a loveless marriage to a vicious whip-wielding harpie who enthusiastically beds the ranch help in return for deadly murderous favors.

Shockingly enough, Emilio actually has a plan, a good one. So far this is the first real surprise. He wants to divorce Thelma and get custody of his son. Good plan Emilio! Well, it would be good if he were really the father but he's not, he just doesn't know it yet.

Elias and Alina have another tea party. This time she cries that it's best Emilio not know she's alive. He's married and it hurts her soul because she still loves him. Wah!

Don Max tells Jaime that since Braulio will rot in jail he hereby offers Braulio's job to Jaime. Jaime's not sure he wants the job, he lacks experience and he might actually have to work instead of just hanging around which is his current job description. Max insists it's a great job because the accounts require special handling for which Jaime will be well-compensated. Jaime squirms as Don Max searches around for his account book. Maldición! He can't find it.

At first I thought he said that damned Angel took the book, but then Max starts cursing that he has to get it back from Braulio or he (Max) will be in a big mess. He hopes it's not too late.

Don Loco has a beautiful visitor as a result of his nervous crisis. She says according to the guards he hallucinated and attacked them. Don Loco gives a short soliloquy on the recent injustices inflicted upon him. The beautiful visitor introduces herself as Dr. Aida Cortes, assigned by the court to evaluate his physical and mental state. He leaps up, corners her, gets in her face and insists that he is in perfect control of all his faculties and she should leave. Having proven he is indeed insane, she tells him she'll come back when he's calmed down.

Back in the cave Luba remembers when Don Loco tore the place apart looking for the cofre. She tells Gaspar that surely he will return for the cofre which contains his past. Gaspar suggests throwing it away. Luba freaks and says Don Loco doesn't even know what's in it; she's going to guard it always. What the cofre contains isn't somthing that should be thrown into the bull ring, better for it to remain in the cave, well-guarded.

Soledad, Adela and Alina have a happy reunion, la la. Elias tries to get Soledad and Alina to stay at his place but Soledad says they should stay at a hotel. Alina looks relieved, especially since she recently found out her padrino's been having wet dreams about her mama.

The Devil's Cave waiter asks Coral's long haired friend where he might find Lucas. I guess Lucas is the tall bald guy who was with the long haired friend at the reading of Don Celso's will. All of a sudden, surprise! Coral shows up, hugs all around. She says she couldn't contact them before but now she is back, and if the evil nephew Dario wants war then war is what he'll get.

Elias excitedly tells Soledad that Don Loco is in jail and her key testimony will keep him there. "My testimony? she stupidly asks, "I'll have to see him?"

Rosita and Santos light candles to The Virgencita. Suddenly Max bursts in and waves his gun at them. He demands to see Braulio and he demands the return of the hacienda account book. Just when it looks like Max might give Santos a plomazo (bullet wound) Emilio breezes in with the accounts. Max is going-to-commercial impactado.

Don Loco's shady lawyer gives Loco a long list of the crimes he's accused of. Loco says he doesn't need a sermon or law tutorial, he needs to get the hell out of jail. Shady lawyer dude says fine, does Don Loco know who his main accuser is? Don Loco says it could be Elias Bernal. He tells the lawyer to find Elias and make him disappear. He's not talking money...he's telling the lawyer to kill him. The lawyer looks surprise but of course we aren't so it doesn't count as a real surprise.

As Rosita and Santos cower in the corner, Max grabs the papers out of Emilio's hands, points his gun at Emilio, and holds the papers over the Virgencita's candles where they combust (nice touch). He waves his torch of incrimination at Emilio and says so what if he and Angel are disappointed in him? He worked like a slave all his life and he deserved the good life. Emilio tells Max he's kicked out as of that afternoon, pack up and leave and quit bothering these people (Rosita and Santos). Max explodes out the door in a fury, leaving the papers burning at Emilio's feet.

Dr. Aida Cortes tells the warden that she wants Don Loco admitted to her mental facility so she can study him. The warden says no way, he wants Don Loco to pay for his crimes, not get released to some cushy mental facility. He wants her evaluation soon and he wants it to be brief. She leaves in a huff.

The doorbell rings at Elias's apartment in Puebla. Alina hides behind a door as Adela escorts Don Loco's shady lawyer into the room. He sees Soledad and chuckles. She is uncomfortable but introduces Mauro to Elias. Shady lawyer Mauro smirks and says it's quite the surprise finding them together, maybe Alvaro wasn't wrong after all.

Don Max stomps into his office cursing the Valtierras. He starts pulling wads of money out of the desk. He says he's so darn angry he's about to pull his moustache out hair by hair (pulls moustache hairs out)! Hurricane Max blows through the office pulling packets of money out of every possible hiding place and vowing it's his due. His pockets are literally stuffed with money when Singing Auntie strolls in and asks where he's going. He warns her to tell her niece that sooner or later Emilio will know all her secrets, and don't worry he's not going to tell Emilio because Emilio deserves to be with that devil Thelma. "See you never...Señorita! Ha ha, good one...Señorita!" "Adios Maximo," she whispers to the empty room. Damn, Max was a pig and a thief but I hate to see him go. That guy could really light up the scene.

Elias warns the lawyer to keep his slimy, rude comments about Soledad to himself. The men do the chest puffing thing while Alina peeks from behind the door. Shady lawyer Mauro threatens them, he says Don Loco owns all his properties and is capable of throwing Soledad out into the street. I'm thinking the street sounds like a good trade for getting away from Don Loco but Soledad doesn't look pleased by the statement.

Ifigenio reports to Emilio and Jaime that Don Max left with a big suitcase. Jaime confirms to Emilio that Max had been after a taste of Rosita and threatened to kill Santos. Braulio killed Castulo in order to defend Santos. Emilio says he wants it made clear that Braulio isn't a murderer and that he should get out of jail as soon as possible. I'm not sure how Ifigenio can make any of that happen for Emilio but Iffy nods his head. In the meantime, while Braulio is incarcerated Jaime will be in charge of the hacienda. Jaime seems happier about the job now that he'll be working for Emilio instead of Max. Emilio says Iffy will be in charge of protecting Rosita and Santos. At which statement Iffy giggles uncontrollably. Whatever.

Elias tells Shady lawyer Mauro that money can't buy justice. (Huh? What alternate universe does Elias live in?) Soledad says she wants nothing from Don Loco. When slimy Mauro leaves and tries to shake her hand Soledad refuses to touch him.

Alina comes out of hiding and asks is it true? Can the creepy lawyer get her crazy papa out of jail? Emilio says no way, after Emilio's tells his story, followed by Soledad's testimony, it will be a slam dunk to keep Don Loco jailed. Soledad is afraid, when the lawyer tells Don Loco that he saw them together she doesn't know how he'll react. (I can't believe I just wrote that ridiculous sentence.)

Puny, moribund Angel visits Alina's grave and tells her that very soon she'll have company. (Won't he be surprised when he goes knock knock knocking on heaven's door and Alina's not there?) Luba sneaks up behind him and puts her hand on his shoulder and tells him not to be so sad. She walks to the head of the grave, pulls out the cross and throws it on top of the white roses. "Luba, what are you doing?" he wheezes. "That's what I was saying," Luba smiles, "Flor isn't dead, she's alive!" Angel gets that 6-Million Dollar Man slo-mo effect, indicating he is super impactado.

Advance - Thelma plays with the baby and vows nothing will come between her and Emilio. Angel thinks maybe he won't tell Emilio that Alina is alive.

defraudar = to disappoint
deshacerse de = get rid of
palabras vanas = hot air

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Comments:
See Sylvia...you've made another convert. Now that warm weather is here I'm saving my eyes (and sanity) by not watching this drivel but I would NEVER miss your recap,sistah. Too too funny.

Judy B.
 

Gracias Sylvia, you cracked me up when you said, "the boat girls kind of suck!" Yeah, it IS hard imagining them getting a job elsewhere but, don't forget, there are just so many of those strange spanish language variety shows where they have gratuitous, half- naked girls dancing for no apparent reason that maybe it only seems strange to us?

>>
"Don Loco has a beautiful visitor as a result of his nervous crisis."
>>

Not sure if anyone else is as addicted to telenovelas as me, but the above mentioned was the virtuous sister on Madrastra who ended up with one of the many would-be suitors of Maria (can't dredge up his name but I think hers was Lupita) AND is now featured as the designated slutty girl of the ranch in Destilando where, creepily, she's after the hot bod of the guy who played her brother in Madrastra.

She seems like she's a good actress compared to some we've been forced to watch. Maybe it's time for her to have her own novela?

As usual, Excellent recap - Thank you!
 

Kate, I watched Madrastra, and I NEVER would have caught that. I looked in imdb and esmas and I guess her duelo role is too small to merit a mention in the elenco. Rosita in duelo was alma, the secretary who marries the sort of adopted son of the main couple characters. Lupita is the daughter of Guadalupe, who is played by Ana Martin and who ends up with another adopted son of the main couple. (It turns out that he is the illegitimate son of one of the aunts and the crazy-ass murdering transvestite villain.) I am not sure whether a lot of actors from Madrastra ended up here or if La Madrastra had such a huge cast that it was inevitable that we'd get this kind of overlap.

I am starting to think that this Novela is one big public service announcement for mental health awareness, just like Heridas was for AIDS. If DL had just had access to prozac or diazapan this story would have been "Luba, witch of the mountain." I am guessing that the pretty doctor will diagnose his celotipia. The only question is will he shoot himself or hang himself when he finds out all this could have been avoided.
 

Kate, you are so right! I meant to mention that Dr. Aida also plays SayinIWanna San Juana on Destilando Amor. I was pretty tired last night by the time I posted, and it was a fairly boring episode except for Don Maxi Pig having his meltdown. I was very suspicious when the lead-in advertisied "Surprising Episode!" Yeah, right.

You folks are champs for hanging in there with us. May I admit something? I still kind of like this show due to some of the wacky secondary characters. The main characters can all fall in the Duelo whirlpool and get eaten by coyotes for all I care.
 

"Alina takes a nap but soon wakes up having a nightmare that she is getting throttled by daddy dearest. - Cut to Daddy Loco still throttling the guard."

"...she recently found out her padrino's been having wet dreams about her mama."

These are just a few of my favorite lines from your recap. You out did yourself with this one Sylvia. A lot went on and you kept the humor up throughout.

Plus I, too, am sad to see Fat Max go.

As for the Boat Girls Ive been thinking of them as entertainment for the male viewers. Chris in particular! ha!
 

OK let me rephrase what I just said. A lot didnt go on in Tuesdays episode but your recap Sylvia made it feel like it did with your observation jewels!
 

Woohoo, my mouth hurts from laughing at this recap, Sylvia! So many good ones:
Alfonsina looking like a cake, the jailer with time on his hands, taste of Rosita and much more!

I would like to see Angel cured by Luba, and Loco not cured and not released...ever...
jb
 

Sylvia, your recaps are so funny! So detailed! So terrific! Thanks!

The boat girls just have one set of moves. That's why they're not working in Puebla or San Mateo, right?

I was hopeful that the psychologist would bust DL but the supervisor isn't going to let DL get away with an insanity plea, it seems. WE all know he's loco, though.

"May I admit something? I still kind of like this show due to some of the wacky secondary characters." Yep, Sylvia, me, too. Plus the recappers' takes on it all. That's what keeps me here!

I feel like we may see more of Max. Just wishful thinking.

Jeanne
 

Oh, surely we'll be seeing Maximo again! I'm not sure I can survive the rest of this telenovela without his mustache-twirling charms.
 

What IS it with the garb choices of the medical personnel in this show? First we have Nurse Suzie in tighty whities and now we have a psychiatrist with a dress top that apparently has no buttons ... the girl does not have enough cleavage to justify such revelations...another gratuitous half naked lady, this time at the jail rather than dancing at the bar. I think she actually works at the mental observation facility will be a piece of cake. Wonder if DL is sharing his lawyer with Sergio or if Sergio has to use a public defender. Cindy
 

I was laughing by myself again, Sylvia! Great recap! It's soooo much better than the novela, even though I still watch it!

Don Maxi Pig!! I loved it when you said he was pulling out his moustache hairs! I wonder where he went???

Thanks again!!!!
 

Carmel's back!! Did you have a fun vacation? Castulo got shot dead by Braulio while you were gone so you'll have to add him to your list of plomazos.
 

i was impactado that not only did Max give Braulio the ledgers, the smoking gun, while proclaiming himself to be her rapist, Braulio waited until NOW to get them to Angel....Braulio had the goods to get the man he thought to be the rapist of his daughter and he never used them???? This is beyond Stupidville disease. cindy
 

"I was pretty tired last night by the time I posted, and it was a fairly boring episode"

Well it certainly wasn't a boring recap! Tired or not, you mad the recap way more fun than the actual show - as usual. Thanks.
 

Sylvia, I had a great vacation, thank you! Unfortunately I caught a cold, but it was worth it. Thank you to you and Margaret for covering for me while I was gone.

I was wondering how to update the shootings list. Edelmira and Dr. Z were also murdered, I know, but where they shot? So much happened in a week!
 

Er, I mean "were" they shot, not "where." Sorry. Cold medicine playing tricks on me.
 

I LOVE the title of this recap! Hilarious!
To me, the episode didn't seem boring at all, but I guess it's because Max is my favorite character, and he got a lot of action in this one.
I have a very sweet little student named Máximo, and I was just telling his mom about this show and Don Max, and how he's so bad but so hilarious that I didn't want him to be bad! Then, I watched this episode and laughed out loud when Fat Max said, I'm so angry that I feel like pulling my mustache out, hair by hair! I think this guy invented his own dialogue. The writers aren't clever enough to come up with a lot of the stuff he says.
 

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