Caray, Caray!

We revisit the disco where Nidia is entertaining her amigos of the night and being entertained by them. She’s lost the hot orange feather bolero jacket, so her substantial cleavage is prominent in her little black dress. She’s still got the hot orange vinyl cap, though…..She tosses back shooters with Kike and Fern…. there are at least three empties on the table and three in their hands. She proposes a toast. They toss back another. Juan is still the center of attention on the dance floor, cachi, cachi bombon! He has more moves than Allied Van Lines. Kike bounces to the music and Nidia flirts with Fernando. Hm. She might even be rubbing up and down in time with the music…..Juan picks up one of his new amigas off the floor and dances her around. The boy dances for his life tonight with total abandon! What could possibly go wrong at such a great party?

Delirio is drunk again, and standing outside Casa Cachón. He yells for them to open the door in the name of love! He calls for his offended Señora, his life. He begs her not to put a hole in his soul (no taladres el alma – don’t drill/bore the soul). He punctuates with a stagger and expansive gestures, putting his hand over his heart. Yadi and Marely gaze disapprovingly with pursed lips and head shakes down on the spectacle of their soon-to-be stepfather three sheets to the wind. Marely asks Yadi what they should do as Delirio keeps slurring along in the background. Marely doesn’t want him hanging out until Mami sees fit to show up but she knows he will. Yadi says he’s not leaving. Poor guy, Marely sympathizes. Yadi asks what she wants, to go down and tell him the truth? She scoffs. Delirio yells “Nidita, what takes me apart is your indifference!” If he keeps gesturing so wildly he’s going to throw himself onto the ground in a heap. Yadi grins, and tells Marely not to worry. Any second now he’s going to wear out and then tomorrow Mami will face her consequences with him (dar la cara). Delirio yells that he will die and his spirit wander (vagará) in front of her house, before he moves even a little bit away. Marely moans that this guy is really in love and she doesn’t think he’s going to stop. Yadi leaves the window and mutters they don’t even know what circus Nidia’s joined. What a lady. The bell rings and Marely frets.

At the disco, Nidia and Fern are upending a tall bottle. Nidia tells Fern this stuff’s going to kill them. Juan watches warily from behind, and Kike tries to chat with Juan, who is busy worrying about what the dynamic duo is up to. Well, they’re up to “pushing” down another round. Fern tells Nidia let another one come (another round). The evening is young, and the company is the same. He’s slurring, too…..”Young man and beauty.” Nidia strokes his face and calls him “Papi Rico” and tells him how divine he is. They rub noses and Fern chuckles. Juan leans over from his perch just above them a couple of steps to get a good look at qué the heck this pair is doing in plain sight. Kike is soaking it in, too. Nidia yells for the waiter, and Juan bounds down to stop her – he’ll bring it. He drags Kike off with him. Nidia drapes herself around Fern’s shoulders and asks about his girlfriend, that thing with her was a lie? She plies him with more questions….is he still crazy about Yadira? (Todavía andas derrapando por Yadira?—are you still skidding along for Yadira? However, in Mexico, this idiom means crazy about). Fern denies he is. That wound is closed, and healed. She tells him she’s so happy to hear that. He flirtingly asks her why she’s so happy about that? Well, a boy like him shouldn’t have to suffer for love. Above them at the high cocktail tables, Ana and Pastor and the two viejas enjoy the show. Not the dancers. Fern slurs that’s exactly what he’s told himself. He toasts to their health and throws back the rest of his drink. Nidia wonders coyly if he’s considered the advantages of having a relationship with a more mature woman? A very mature woman? He murmurs an affirmative, and the camera cuts to Pastor, who is muy impactado suddenly. Nidia continues, a woman who doesn’t have cucarachas in her head? Fern laughs suggestively. A woman who knows where to come and where to go? Okay, the conversation apparently makes sense to both of them. He smiles and they embrace.

Juan is at the bar and comments to the bartender. Kike grabs a waiter to bring a bottle….he points to Nidia and Fern. The waiter will take care of it right away. Juan looks pensive. Kike comments on the dynamic duo-he thinks it’s pretty cool—does Juan realize? Fern has Nidia’s hot orange cap on and they’re in a full body press talking to each other (yeah, that’s right, they’re actually talking. Or slurring). Juan says he doesn’t want to realize. If they keep this up, he’ll have to call in the firemen. He looks annoyed. He complains about Nidia, what a barbarian she is, one little glass of wine and she’s carried away. He makes goofy gestures. Kike tells him he’d better talk with that Fernando so he cools it down. We watch the dynamic duo grind and bump while we hear Juan tell Kike no, in the first place he’s drunk, and he’s had some bad luck recently in love, and in the third place he likes to get lucky. (le gusta matar la víbora en Viernes – he likes to kill the snake on Friday, slang for get lucky). Don’t you see? Kike reminds Juan about Nidia and Alirio. Juan tells Kike “don’t invoke Alirio, he might just appear out of nowhere.” Kike grins.

Speak of the king of Rome, Alirio is still hanging out in the garden with the two girls (in their robes, no less) and drunkenly regaling them with tales of how he’s going to suffer and not move from the spot until he sees Nidia Cachón in the flesh. Marely asks if he realizes what time it is? Well, if it weren’t so urgent that he talk with Nidia, he wouldn’t be putting on this lamentable spectacle. [You got that part right, brother. It’s definitely a lamentable spectacle]. He tells them to hurry up and call Mami for him. Yadi tap dances around the real issue. “What if my Mami doesn’t WANT to come down here?” She is super offended by you! When Doña Nidia Cachón says no, it’s no! He tells Yadi when Alirio Perafán. says yes, it’s yes! He weaves around as he gestures……the girls heave disgusted sighs as they look at each other.

Kike points out to Juan that ultimately, it’s not his problem or Juan’s. Juan thinks it IS his problem, since he promised Don Samuel Cachón (everyone cross yourselves quickly, in perfect synchrony now) God rest his soul, that Juan would take care of the ladies Cachón. With the girls it’s not difficult, but the Mami is of shabby morals. (moral distraída=slovenly, shabby or untidy morals). Kike thinks they just need to enjoy life, not get involved in any of this, and dance. Juan thought bubbles to himself that he best not reprimand her. Kike is right, and who orders him around, his conscience or himself? The party is all over the place (mundial – worldwide) and you’re here, sour.

Marely tries to convince Delirio that he needs to go home, and she’ll personally promise him that she’ll talk to her mother and convince her to see him at the earliest moment in the morning. Okay? Yadi murmurs her agreement. She tells him to pay attention to Marely! He’s come here with his glass raised (polite way to say drunk as a skunk) and made things worse! He wonders who told them? [Not to put too fine a point on it, Alirio, but no telling was necessary here.] It was this old sea wolf – himself. And now they’re out there annoying each other. He’d give his eyetooth for these girls (probably not literally what he said, so anyone who wants to clarify, fine with us!) Marely is no longer sweet and coaxing. He’s got it right, he’s annoying her. She fusses at him not to be so stubborn, he’s not going to see Nidia, he should just GO already. Yadi goes on the offensive, too. He’s not getting past this door. She throws her arms out wide, daring him to try to pass. He acts really drunk and says some nonsense, and the girls talk about waiting until breakfast. They’ve let down their guard and Alirio breaks away and dashes through the door yelling for Nidia. The girls yell and track him into the house.

A slow dance ends at the disco. Juan asks Kike “where those two have gone?” What two? Nidia and Fernando, don’t be dumb. Kike chuckles, he was teasing. He says he can only imagine where they’ve gone! He starts to walk away, and Juan, completely annoyed, grabs him back. Juan tells him there’s unfinished business here for them. Kike says “what WE?” He doesn’t want to interfere, and the last time he saw them, they were right there, dancing. Juan agrees that he saw them, too. The boys look around. Juan is sure that they’ve taken flight. Ana comes and asks for “Doña Nidia.” [That sounded weird to me until I realized she worked for decades for Nidia’s husband, Samuel.] Juan stalls…..”Doña Nidia?” They all look around and Juan does a 360-spin. Pastor joins them and looks around, but looks back questioningly. Juan gets an inspiration. “She went to the restroom! The restroom!” “And Fernando?” Pastor asks pointedly. Kike squirms and says he doesn’t know, probably the restroom, too. Ana smiles. She’ll wait for Juan at the table. Pastor looks between Juan and Kike—he’s enjoying their discomfort.

Delirio has made it in as far as the stairs. The girls are trying to grab him to keep him from going up to find Nidia. He yells up “do me the favor of coming down here right now, or on the other hand, I’m going to have to come up, Nidia!” The girls can barely restrain the viejo. Yadi jumps in front of him and puts her hands across the stairs to block him. “Don’t take another step!” Marely is straining to hold him from behind. He yells for Nidia, and Marely tells him the only thing he’s going to do is make it worse and she won’t see him today, tomorrow, and never more!” He yells like a wounded, lovesick moose and Marely rubs her forehead. Yadi stands guard on the steps. Delirio begs Nidia, and Yadi pushes him back with her foot, telling him her mother isn’t going to see an old fool. Alirio tells Yadi to understand, he’s GOING UP! She says he’ll have to get by her. He’s ready for the challenge, and will do whatever is necessary! Yadi tells Marely to call the police and Alirio is torn for a second while Marely runs to the phone. He starts yelling for Nidia again. Marely tries to grab him from behind again and yells at him that her mother isn’t going to see him for the simple reason that she’s not at home! Alirio spins around, furious-impactado. Yadi throws up her hands in horror—Mami’s secret is out! “WHAT?????” “She’s not HERE!” There’s a scuffle on the stairs—Alirio and Yadi go down like dominoes. Marely screams and puts her hands over her mouth; Alirio looks back at her and yells “Where? Where?” Over his head, Yadi is making faces at Marely to just shut the heck up, already! The director gives us a split screen so we can see Alirio close up impactado and the girls facing off with him at the same time. Alirio catches on that Yadi’s stage-whispering at Marely and looks back at her; she jumps and shuts up. Now we see the three in the split screen and Yadi’s glaring-at-Marely impactada face. Yadi shrugs in annoyance at Marely spilling the beans. In the split screen, we see Marely’s impactada face at her faux pas.

Out on the street in front of the disco we know that’s Nidia looking for a cab because of the hot orange feather bolero jacket and hot orange vinyl cap. They’re perfect for travel outside at night because they reflect so well. Beside her, someone is holding her gold lamé purse. Oh! It’s Fernando! He’s trying to hail a cab. Nidia flashes the slit in her dress instead; maybe that’ll work better. Fern is falling apart. His shirt is hanging out—our fashion plate has lost his groove! Nidia flashes a sparkly smile toward the oncoming traffic while she holds the slit in the dress a little open for effect. Fern staggers over to her and laughs as he slurs through a joke that isn’t funny and doesn’t even make sense. Nidia, a little more together, puts her hands onto his chest and asks where they’ll go, Papi Rico? Ferns slurs “a place more private.” He sounds downright seductive. Nidia practically swoons, oooh, oooh! “You and me alone? And this would be for what?” Fern rubs on her a little, gyrates his pelvis, and his voice gets gravelly—“what do you think?” [I think you’ll be lucky to stay awake for the next twenty minutes.] They’re barely holding each other up, they’re so stewed. He drops the purse. [Doesn’t look scripted to me!] She says they’ll play a game of weenies and something [I probably couldn’t figure out how to translate it because proper schoolmarms shouldn’t even know it]. Nidia wants to know if he’s going to show her the stars. He murmurs seductively “what an intelligent little girl you are, you guessed it, little girl….” And he gyrates some more. They need a room fast. She pushes him away coquettishly; he should be careful, after all, she’s an engaged lady. She strokes her leg and the slit in her dress gaps up the side. He won’t forget. He gives her his word.

Alirio finally made it to the sofa. Good thing, he’s another who wasn’t gonna be awake in another twenty minutes. The girls stand across the room, wondering qué the heck to do with the viejo. His head is bowed, and he is sitting on the edge of the sofa. He’s unhappy that they’re so close to their wedding and she’s gone out at these hours of the night, alone. It’s not decent! [Alirio, you really don’t want to know the worst of it.] Marely excuses her mother; it’s her bachelorette party. She tells him not to make such a mystery of it. Yadi assures him Nidia is with Juan, and nothing is going to happen to her, right? Alirio jumps up at that. Yes, of course, Juan Dominguez! But of course! That lightweight (pelagátos) would have to be involved in this! But just let him appear at that door and he’s going to hear from me!!! He’s playing [fast and loose – my addition] with the reputation of a Perafán Roche de Francisco!

Speaking of playing fast and loose, Nidia and Fern are still considering their next event together. He jumps in front of a cab and it screeches to a stop. He flings the door open for Nidia. She giggles and minces toward the open door. He tells her he’s a gentleman; he could take her directly to her home…..or they could return right now, whatever she says. He’s using “tú,” so we know he’s dead serious. Nidia postures and tells him the night is very young yet. She minces to the cab and gets in while he ushers her with an “in you go!” (Pase Ud. – now he’s back to the formal “you.” Reckon he’s conflicted?) He swings the bag and follows her into the cab after a couple of dance steps. Charleston, maybe. They laugh as the door closes and the cab takes off.

Juan comes skidding out the door of the disco just in time to see the cab take off. Kike follows him closely. Juan looks panicked. Look at that! Look! He’s crazy! [Juan assumes it’s Fernando’s fault??] He and Kike stand helplessly looking after the cab. Juan could be in deep kim-chee when he gets home. Juan throws out his arms in frustration after the cab, and Kike imitates him unconsciously. Juan’s yelling that Fern’s thinking with his feet (not thinking with his brain!) Juan and Kike throw their arms out at the cab again. It’s almost a football stadium wave, actually. Kike yells “how dare he take an engaged woman?” Juan yells that she’s like his mother, his half mother, whom he loves a lot! Like a mother, Kike echoes. Juan yells that Fernando is a vile person, opportunistic, he’s crazy! Kike singsongs that he told Juan Fern is a villain (fichita, from ficha, villain or rogue). What a good rogue he is, he took Doña Nidita. He bounces up and down as he repeats his little song. Juan dances with him as he sings, then stops and asks Kike if he’s all right. Kike realizes he’s being goofy and yells about Fern taking Nidia, he’s an imbecile.

Yadi and Marely are still doing damage control with Alirio. Marely asks him why doesn’t he go rest, tomorrow’s another day and he can come early and clear it all up with Mama. Yadi chimes in agreement. He’s not going to be able to shut his eyes. How can they think so? Well, does that mean he’s not going to let them sleep? He tells them to go on up to bed, and he’ll stand guard on the sofa. [Ed. Note: Yeah, right.]. He’ll wait for the love of his life there. He rubs his hands on the sofa seat, looking desperate. The girls look pained and Marely empathizes. He tells them they think the worst of him and don’t understand how he loves their mother. He is in agony. He loves her, adores her, worships her. He doubles over in emphasis. Putting his head in his hands, he asserts he cannot live without this woman, he can’t! How would this not pain him? Should he cover his eyes and pretend nothing has happened? If they’ll tell him, please, he’ll pay close attention to them!

Kike and Juan have returned to the dance floor. Kike thinks they’ve seen that Fernando won’t go to far, nor Nidia. [Ed. Note: And we all know what a great judge of character our sweet, naïve Kike is, folks, bless his heart.] Juan is more realistic—you put a young man in front of Doña Nidia and adiós! He’s a goner! Fernando better control himself because of that! Kike nods in agreement. Yeah, but he’ll understand the signals (agarra la onda – understand the vibes). Nidia is still not too old and they’re not made of wood. Juan wants to know what they should do? Kike says there is nothing they can do, and they might as well just enjoy themselves. Juan gets realistic now—don’t be an idiot, who’s going to pay the bill???? Kike looks up at him—“don’t be lookin’ at me! You’ve already got me on the brink of bankruptcy!” Juan points out that Fernando’s the only one carrying a credit card (tarejta de crédito, which I tell the lady at the new Mexican grocery in our town every time I go in to get my favorite frijoles refritos). He’s gone and I’m clean, Juan tells Kike (no money). Kike puts his hands in his pockets and looks away. Speak of the king of Rome, the waiter is here wanting to know when and how they plan to pay up, and will there be anything more? Juan and Kike play tag and point the waiter to each other about five times. Both politely tell the waiter that the other is dying to pay the bill. The waiter, dumb as a post, hands the bill back and forth. “He said he wants to pay.” “Well, he brought me here to treat me.” “Um, he’s older than me, so it should be his.” The waiter looks stalemated impactado.

Yadi and Marely have empathy written all over their faces as they stand in the living room looking down at Alirio. Yadi tells him he doesn’t have to be a drama king, but very kindly. He asks them if they think he likes to suffer? That he enjoys it when their mother treats him like a rag, a good-for-nothing (estropajo)? That Alirio is no one, nothing? Well, Alirio Perafán suffers! I’m tormented! I feel like I have a dagger in my soul! He thumps his heart meaningfully. Yadi asks him if he didn’t realize he’d be opening himself up to that when he fell in love with Nidia? He does. He’ll be in love until he’s just bones with a woman who doesn’t love him! Dramatic violin music plays while Yadi and Marely look distressed.

At the bar, Juan is promising Pastor that he and Kike will pay Pastor back after the next biweekly paycheck (la primera quincena, the first fortnight). Kike is incensed—me?? Juan whacks him in the arm. Pastor tells him not to worry, and Juan again promises, and he’ll work it out with Fernando, too. Pastor asks “by the way, where is he?” Pastor’s really amused by all this. Juan looks at Kike. They haven’t come back from the restroom. Juan stammers a bit. The viejas come up, they’ve been looking for Nidia, Ana says, and haven’t found her. She’s worried. Rosario thinks that by this time she might be in bed. Pastor points out that Fern hasn’t been seen, either. Juan thought bubbles that things are bad and he’d better come up with something fast, or Nidia’s rep is ruined. He throws his hand over his face, “Excuse me! I forgot! Nidia felt bad, and Fern took her to her home. He punctuates with gestures. Pastor and the viejas nod in understanding, wink, wink. Our lovely, naïve Ana looks at them one by one, with real concern on her face. “How gentlemanly of Fernando, right?” asks Pastor. They all nod in agreement. Juan affirms “what a guy” (un tipazo) and whacks Kike. “Didn’t you tell me that they were going?” He whacks Kike repeatedly, “you told me?” Kike catches on and agrees, he told Juan. He elaborates….definitely improving the situation. Not. Kike rubs his arm—Juan packs a punch. Pastor chuckles. Of course. A slightly puzzled Ana thinks they don’t need to wait, then. [Ed. Note: She is just too naïve for words sometimes, folks. That must be where Paula gets it.] They agree, and she says they’d better just go, since they all have to work and look at what time it is! More agreement. The pack up to go into our commercial break.

My, my, what have we here? Clothing in a trail the floor to a bed, and here’s quite a scene….Nidia draped over Fern and not much else draped over either one of them. He’s smoking the traditional cigarette as she stokes his furry chest. [Ed. Note: on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least appealing, CL’s chest is a 1.5, Fern’s is a 6, and Juan’s is an 11. Let’s skip Kike’s and Alirio’s]. “Spectacular!” Nidia drawls and stretches like a cat. Fern thinks it was just regular. They exchange flirtatious chitchat. She sits up and hoists, sheet covering her, and purrs. Oooh. Oooh. Fern, in his yellow boxers, grins and blows smoke. She’s feels great; she feels alive! She feels 20 years younger. [Ed. Note: and you’d still be older than Fern.] “You know what, beauty?” she asks him and takes a puff from his cigarette. I am in LOVE! Crazy in love! HM????? Fern is impactado-worried. In love with you, bombon! She kisses him. He looks disTRESSED! She takes another little puff.

Marely is pouring some liquid courage for Alirio. She brings it with wishes for him to feel better and sits by him on the sofa. [Hair of the dog, does he really need that right now, Marely?] He thanks her. They are such good girls. Marely reminds him he knows how her mama is when she goes out to party. She doesn’t’ like to come home until the sun is coming up. Her idea is that it would be bad luck to come earlier. Yadi tries gently to convince him to go home. He’s not budging. Can’t he stay here? He strokes the sofa. You two can go up to bed. Marely tells him that Mami won’t like it at all if he’s here guarding the door when she comes home. He informs Marely that her mother doesn’t like anything of anything he does anyway. Besides, it’s almost sunup. Juan comes in and greets them. He’s pretty quiet for a big guy in boots. Juan and the girls look at each other, impactados, and Alirio jumps up to ask where the heck is Nidia?

Nidia is wearing Fern’s bright blue shirt and sitting on a chair, stroking her chest and purring. Fern comes out of the bathroom. [Nice chain with a medal!] “Tell me something, bombon….” He nervously says “Doña Nidia….I mean, Nidia.” Sounds like there’s something like a “this was a mistake” line coming, judging from his tone. He’s trying to tell her it’s too fast to begin something between them. She interrupts that she can’t, just can’t! Can’t what? I can’t marry Alirio! Open your eyes! I was asleep for years and I’m awake now! Thanks to you! Fern scratches his nose…..trying to think of how to handle this. She wants him to show her the stars for the rest of her life. He’s back to calling her “Doña.” She corrects him, and he calls her Nidia. [Well, that’s awkward.] Look, I think you’re speeding this up a little, he tells her. At her age, she tells him, she can’t afford to lose any time. She can’t put the brakes on her opportunities. He dutifully agrees, but it’s one thing to quit loving someone and begin to love another overnight. She waves him off, silly boy. Who told you that? I’m living proof! He groans and shakes his head, closing his eyes and leaning against the doorjamb. Falling out of love, she says, is very relative. [Yeah, especially if you weren’t really in love in the first place. But not too many people know why you’re marrying Alirio anyway.] She tells Fern she was never in love with this thing called Alirio. It was he who began this absurd situation with his tricks/betrayal. This is his thing, she whimpers.

Marely is irritated with Alirio, which we can tell by her incensed expression and hands on hips. This is one of Marely’s best in her repertoire, we see it often. Alirio tells Juan he’s waiting. Why isn’t Nidia there, where is she? Juan recovers and tells him she went to stay with one of her friends. Alirio isn’t buying it. Who? Where? Juan tap dances around it. One who was there at her party. He doesn’t remember the name, some of the gentlemen who were there took the ladies. Alirio wonders if they were more young men like him, how many, who? He names Kike, Pastor, and….skidding noises….he goes on the defensive so he doesn’t have to name Fern. Why are you asking ME all this? Tomorrow you can resolve your stuff with Doña Nidia! Ask her all your questions! Are we clear? Alirio is incensed that no only did Juan organize this vile binge (jolgorio), Juan was the pimp. [Too close to home, here.] Juan tells Alirio he has offended Juan. He’s not at fault for things that happen to Nidia. Surely, she slept at her friend’s house. She’ll show up, don’t waste your time and go home to rest. Alirio tells Juan “you can’t tell me you don’t know what friend’s house she went to!” Juan stammers, and Alirio yells “where?” The girls have been watching this exchange with alarm and Marely’s occasional attempts to break in, but they butt out and just watch, mesmerized. Finally, Juan says Ana Dávila. Aha! Alirio says, well, excuse me, there’s clearly nothing more I can do here. He storms out and we know that Ana’s night will be even shorter than it might have been.

The girls glare at Juan, who flaps his arms and says, “I don’t know about you two, but I’m going to sleep.” He flaps his arms again. [What’s up with that?] Juan leaves and the girls shake their heads at each other.

Nidia tells Fern that she saw him, felt his skin, and knew he was the man for her life. Fern is ruffled and protests that she shouldn’t be saying and doing things she’ll be sorry for later. She stands, unconvinced and smiling broadly. “Be sorry? Me? To spend the rest of my life with you?” She puts her hands on his waist and Fern smiles down at her through gritted teeth. He’s in deep kim-chee and he knows it. He makes her crazy, she tells him. “My God,” he mutters, as he reluctantly puts his arms around her. He tells her here’s what they’re going to do: she’s going home, get some rest, and tomorrow when they’re all calmed down, they’ll talk. [Ed. Note: one gathers that they’re at his place. We trust he doesn’t live with his folks still.] Nope, she doesn’t think she’s going to calm down and has nothing to think about. What’s more, she hopes this night will never end. Ever. He frowns as she strokes his chest and rests her head against it. He tries to interrupt, but she won’t let him. She isn’t the one to decide. Does he know why? Stupidly, Fern asks why? She strokes her ….heart. This decides for her, her little heart. He chuckles nervously and looks away from her …..heart. She tells him that Nidia Cachón never betrays her feelings. She pushes him back onto the bed, minces and wiggles, and dives for him. “Don’t be afraid!” We have a split screen and see this action in visual stereo from two angles. He chuckles nervously and says, “oh, Nidia.”

Juan is finally back in the sanctuary of his room. He sits on the bench at the foot of his bed and removes his boots. [The man wears WHITE socks with his boots, folks. He’s still too cute for words, though.] Well, so much for sanctuary—here come the hijas Cachón to invade his moments of solitude. [Doesn’t anyone ever knock in this house?] Yadi yells at him, “no lies! Tell us the whole truth!” He looks at the ceiling and sighs. “And you two continue with the same plan, plan, plan!” [Marely’s bathrobe has fallen open to reveal fetching shorty pjs. Why can’t he get interested in this instead of Paula? It worked for him early on in one fantasy. I’m with the Juan/Marely supporters.] Marely wants to know if this is another prank. He repeats that he told them, Nidia is staying with her little friend, Anita. No eye contact, though. He closes his eyes and yawns loudly, please, close the door behind you. He waves them out, gets up, and goes to the head of his bed. They don’t budge. They don’t believe a word. He begins to undress, tie first. You don’t believe ME? Well, good luck, he’s going to sleep. They begin to look a bit impactadas. He thought bubbles that no way is he going to betray Nidia. He’s decided he’s going to do something drastic, stall for time with these girls and get them to leave his room. He continues to undress, and they are increasingly impactadas, as are all the females in the audience. The shirt’s off. His shark-tooth necklace is on. He looks up at their way impactada faces, and the crickets sound in the background. [I know now they’re not the ones that invade my basement every fall since I’m on the second floor.] Juan, always the innocent, asks “ah??” in response to their expressions. Yadi clasps her hands in front of her, no doubt in rapture. She blinks. “Well, if you’re not leaving, I’m going to sleep.” Yadi crosses her arms and Marely puts her hands on her hips, stubborn to the end. He warns them that he’ll sleep like a baby (Like God brought me into the world – como Diosito me traje al Mundo). Their impactada state increases. Yadi disbelievingly asks if he’s going to undress in front of them. Marely says she’s not budging until he tells them precisely where their mother is. He smirks at them and goes for his belt buckle…..zipper…..slacks……and……they’re off! He’s got on nifty black boxers with figures all over them. He thought bubbles that at the moment he prayed to his Blessed Child of Atocha to take care of Nidia, and don’t let her do anything foolish…..and that if he takes off his slacks, the girls will run for it. He stares defiantly as he throws the slacks on the bed, turns around, and puts his hands on the waistband of the boxes. Marely’s out of there. Yadi gasps and puts her hands to her mouth, but we note she hasn’t moved. She peers around a little to try and get a look in front. Marely runs back and drags her out. Yadi’s resisting the whole way. Marely slams the door after them. We hear the Juan theme music (El Rey Tiburón), which makes darn good striptease background music, folks. He breathes a sigh of relief, plops to sit on the bed, and breathes deeply a couple of times.

Ana’s doorbell rings and she races down in her robe to open it. She peers through the little window-door. Guess who? He greets her defiantly, still plenty stewed. She asks qué the heck he’s doing here at this time of night? He’s looking for Nidia, he slurs. Ana is muy commercial impactada!

Ana looks at Alirio through narrowed eyes and informs him Nidia’s not there. What?? No, she felt bad and left without saying anything to us. Alirio slurs through an apology for bothering her at such an early hour of the morning. He staggers out backward toward the door, with a worried Ana watching.

Juan is under the covers, with his lamp still on. He’s so exhausted but doesn’t know when he’ll be able to get to sleep. He needs to rest and later confront the situation with Doña Nidia and Fernando. He turns on his side with his eyes cracked open a little. He thought bubbles through yawns that he didn’t know at the time this wasn’t the only traitor (sapo, usually toad, but also translates as traitor and several other derogatory names for disgusting people) he’d encounter on the next day.

CL has had a bad night in the steel houseguest room. He didn’t even undress, but slept on top of the bed in his clothes. His neck aches. [Ed. Note: I can relate. On Friday or Saturday I re-ignited an old back injury and have had trouble moving all weekend, which is part of why this took longer to do than usual. I actually feel some sympathy for ol’ CL today.] There’s a knock and he tells the caller to come in while he gingerly and slowly tries to sit up, holding his neck. Chelo looks worried—why? Because he never dressed for bed? Because he’s holding his neck and squinting in pain? He tells her to bring coffee, for Pete’s sake. She’s going but he snaps his fingers and she stops. “What time is it?” After 9:00 a.m. He’s impactado! Where’s Fernando? He hasn’t shown up! Not at all? Nope. Where’s Monica? Gone to the office early. Why didn’t she advise me? Because she said she wanted to let you rest. Chelo smiles approvingly, apparently she thinks this was a lovely thing for Monica to do. “She said she’d see you in the office, sir. I’ll get the coffee.” He scowls and shakes his head a little, then tries to manipulate his neck to feel better.

Fern is ready to go; he has his clothes on, including his blue shirt and tie, and he’s zipping his slacks while Nidia’s sitting up in bed smoking again. She asks where he’s off to in such a rush. She smiles broadly. He’s going to work. She wonders if he could he come back later? No, look at the hour; he’ll have to beg them not to fire him! Nidia finds this amusing. He says he should have picked CL up more than an hour ago. CL will kill him. She gets up with the sheet around her as he fixes his tie and tells him not to be anxious bombon, because she has lots of influence with that guy. She helps with the knot in his tie and they look muy domesticated. He rolls his eyes at the ceiling as he lets her help. [Ed. Note: they both have lovely long fingers. I guess that doesn’t mean anything but hubby says I have a tendency to take in too much visual info and it distracts me.] He doesn’t think that’ll help him at all. She wants to know if he’s taking her home, a gentleman would when she’s spent the night with him. He looks frazzled and irritated. He’s not a gentleman, he says, and he’s flying out of here. What, he’s going to leave her all alone? Yep. And you should go home and let them know you’re okay. I’m sure the girls very worried about you, Doña Nidia! She fusses at him: enough with the Doña and Usted nonsense already! She hoists and pouts. Last night, we got past all that (rompimos la barrera de turrón, we swept away that nougat candy). Fernando sighs with resignation and leaves.

Juan is explaining to Paula why he hasn’t come for her and apologizes. It’s a family problem. She tells him it’s okay, take care of it. He assures her it’s nothing too serious. She’ll take a taxi, she tells him. Can she help? No, he says, but Marely will be late, too. Paula says that Marely should take all the time she needs. Marely grimaces and Yadi, still in bathrobe, stands with crossed arms. [Ed. Note: this is her habitual stance, so we should probably only note when she doesn’t have them crossed.] Paula assures him it’s fine, but he’s leaving her worried. He assures her it’s fine. But, if they need anything, they must call her, she insists. He thanks her and hangs up. The girls start in on him again. Okay, the truth: what happened with Mami last night? Yadi threatens to call the police. She uncrosses her arms and gets in his face, which is actually at her chest level since he’s sitting down. He starts to respond, but the phone rings and Yadi dives for it at the same time Juan grabs it. He’s too fast for her, probably the result of life in his hometown when he had to be quicker than the rest. He hands the phone to her. It’s Nidia! She’s still in what we presume to be Fern’s bed, smoking and thoroughly enjoying herself. She greets Yadi cheerily, “!Buenos días!” “Buenos días? What’s good about today?” Yadi yells. Could a person know where the heck you’ve been all night? Juan gestures at the phone to indicate “see, I told you she’s fine.” Nidia tells her to calm down, she’s fine. Whatever made you behave this way, Yadi wants to know, the hysteria rising. You gave us a big scare! Nidia looks annoyed at the interrogation. Sternly she orders Yadi to calm down and lower her voice. She’s old enough to do as she pleases! Marely edges closer to hear and Yadi pushes her away. She yells at Mami again. “Where are you?” Nidia apparently has radar, or Ana is an easy target, because she tells Yadi the same thing that Juan has told everyone, she’s at Ana Dávila’s house. But, she’s leaving for home. Yadi yells okay, bye, and hangs up. She tells Juan and Marely there you have it, she’s at Ana’s. Juan grunts in affirmation. The girls look at Juan and Marely, still muy suspicious, asks what’s happening. Juan jumps up—what’s happening is this is making them very late to work. It’s time to go! That’s what’s happening! He grabs his jacket. Yadi, in her usual stance, yells at him again that it hasn’t all been said. She wants to know where her mother’s put her feet (ella metió las patotas hasta el fondo) [Ed. Note: I think. ] Juan won’t make eye contact with the muchachas. He thought bubbles that he hopes it’s only her feet. Marely is not sure they should trust him. He finally turns around. It’s not his business, he tells them. If they want an explanation, don’t put him in this situation, ask their MOTHER! Let’s go! Marely gets her things while Yadi nods and smiles with total disbelief in her expression. Juan gives back as good as he gets before he turns to leave with Marely.

Chelo has CL’s coffee. He’s in the room he shares with Monica, fully dressed and ready to go. The shirt is the same color as yesterday’s….one wonders if it is the same one. Chelo comments that he’s bathed and ready (at least there’s that.) Here’s a freshly made cup of coffee. He ungraciously thanks her. The coffee is hot; he spits it out, curses a little (caramba, very mild) and grimaces at his shoulder hurting. Poor baby.

Monica greets Paula in the lobby. How’s it going? Fine, and you? [Ed. Note: Paula’s extremely short, extremely tight, white skirt leaves NOTHING to the imagination. At my school, she’d be here for about 20 seconds before she’d be on the way to change.] They chitchat. Monica hoped to see her, and Paula asks if she can do something for Monica? Yep, today Monica wants to see the stores on the north side. They have a lunch coming up, too. Can Paula go with her? Sure. But Paula doesn’t have a chauffeur today. No problem, Monica assures her, I’ll drive. Perfect, we’re off! They chitchat about the store as they wait for the elevator.

Juan opens the door for Marely to get out of the limo. Nice boots, very short denim skirt and a matching denim jacket, and no eye contact. Marelycita! She won’t talk or look at him. He’s pained. He babbles to her. She looks disgusted. Look me in the eyes, he says as he spins her around to face him. She does, and if looks could kill…..He teases her and she snaps at him. She’s worried about Mamá but more worried about him. Why? The person she should get to tell her about Mamá is Mamá, not him. She asks him directly: Juan, did my mother go off with someone last night? He says he won’t answer the question and she shouldn’t misunderstand him. You and Yadi would be the first to say you don’t want someone interfering in your lives, right? Marely backs off, yes, but….Juan interrupts that he trusts completely in the judgment of her mother. He doubts in all seriousness that she would do something inappropriate. Marely interrupts. She understands, she says in frustration, and won’t insist more. It’s between him and his conscience. She taps his head and he is impactado and speechless. He thought bubbles, but says out loud that his conscience is at peace. He wants her to do a favor and smile; he manipulates her cheeks until she reluctantly smiles and turns to leave. Listen, Juan, she says as she turns to him again. “Order, my comrade.” Um, what are you doing tonight? Tonight? Nothing, why? Well, I’d like to go to the movies for a little bit…..she wants him to go. Of course, I want to go! Let’s go! He makes a goofy face and sound. She chuckles and says she’ll look for him. Juan thought bubbles to warn himself there’s no attraction here, nothing of this kind, but that this morning something very special happened between him and Marely. [Good, Juan, pay close attention. She’s a good choice!] He insists to himself that they are just good friends! [It’s a start, big boy.] She looks at the movie ads in the paper and he looks over her shoulder.

CL has his own lovely black convertible today. Like about every second person on the street today, he’s driving with his d*** cell phone held to his ear with one of his hands. [Ed. Note: Of course, that wouldn’t be one of my pet peeves. But that IS why they invented ear buds, so you can use both hands to drive. It’s bad enough to be on the phone in the first place. This is our PSA for the day.] He’s asking Pastor qué the heck happened to Fernando? Pastor grimaces; he knows. What? He didn’t show up? It’s not like him to ignore you completely, but I can send you another chauffeur. No, CL says, I’m already on the way. Pastor sympathizes. Well, CL tells him, that’s minor. What’s happened there at the office with CL’s situation? Pastor tells him that’s touchy. On his two fronts…..CL wants to know WHAT now, for heaven’s sake? Well, Pastor has just been informed that Monica and Paula left together again, best buds, destination unknown. No way?! Well, I hate to tell you sir, but that’s right. But I think that so far, the bomb hasn’t exploded. CL utters a derogatory remark and tells him it better not explode! He rubs his neck. [Tsk, looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed….] Does Pastor understand? He hangs up, furious and grimacing in pain. Pastor mutters about “this man.” (Who told him to walk to Cuzco? Must be an idiom.) He puts the phone down.

The new best friends find Juan and Marely in the garage. They chitchat about the family problem; Paula says they don’t have to thank her and hopes it’s resolved. Marely assures her it will be fine. Paula tells him they need to go out. She leaves Marely in charge, which pleases Marely, who thrusts the newspaper into Juan’s taut tummy behind her as she goes. Juan’s ready to take them.

Fernando rushes into the lobby of Farell Industries, his brow furrowed with worry. Marely calls him over to her desk before he gets to CL’s office. She tells him CL is with Pastor, so anyway, how did last night go? He nervously tells her well, everything was normal, as he shifts from one foot to the other. She gazes at him with doubt in her eyes and tells him that when she left this morning, her mother still hadn’t shown up. He does a good imitation of impactado. No? She notes that he’s a little late today, too, right? Yes, he stammers and looks at his watch. The party was great and we lost all track of time. Ah. And when did you end? Well, everyone went home, at least, um, I did, I don’t know about the rest. [Okay folks, we have our answer, it was his house where he and Nidia went. At least that’s not a lie.] And among them was my mother? He fidgets and doesn’t make eye contact. Well, it’s like this, as I told you…..he scratches his neck…..Oh, Marely, I gotta show my face to my boss. We’ll talk later. She muses as she says goodbye to him.

Fernando goes to Ivonne’s desk; he’s more confident here. What’s up? Is your boss here? Ivonne waves a hand in front of her face and grimaces, something smells bad! Hm. Could it be his breath? What happened with the party? He tells her there’s nothing between him and her, so, he wants to see the boss. Period. She chuckles. He’s very busy. Excuse me. She gets her nail file out and files, ignoring him. He sighs in resignation, then glares at her.

Monica tells Paula she’s young and has a impressive résumé. Is she single or married? [Ed. Note: that’d be an illegal question in the U. S. Lucky for the writers, they’re not in the U. S.] Juan is impactado and thought bubbles that his boss is getting into deep kim-chee here. Paula says she single, and he thought bubbles “good save, no lies, but not really the truth.” He grins to himself. Monica says that surely she has boyfriends lining up. Juan looks into the mirror, holds up his index finger and thought bubbles that he’s the first in line. Paula, a little embarrassed, says not so many. Monica is insistent—surely she has a boyfriend. Juan thought bubbles that he’s begging her not to say anything, he knows she doesn’t like to lie. Paula has no boyfriend, but is single at the moment. Juan grins and tells himself okay, so she did it, she told a little lie, and what a lovely lie it was in his little chest (it warmed his heart). He only wishes it was the truth. Monica would love to introduce Paula to a few of her friends if she’d like that. Paula is mildly impactado. Juan thought bubbles over this—he doesn’t need this kind of help from Monica [okay, I’m paraphrasing.] Paula tells her thanks, but no thanks. Monica says if Paula changes her mind, let her know. Juan doesn’t want her to meddle! He is sorry for Monica, though—she’s more lost than a fly in the city. She wanted to gain the trust of Paula and what was going to happen was that it would hurt more later. He mutters to himself about the things of this world, here they are in this car, all three victims of Don Cesár Luis!

Speaking of the king of Rome, CL is standing at his desk, wiping his lip and yelling that he slept badly, his neck aches. The first cup of the day burned his mouth. [Ed. Note: doesn’t it just suck to be you, CL?] If that wasn’t enough, there’s this situation with the ladies. All he needs is for the dog to bark. [Must be another of those idioms, folks.] Pastor is sitting in front of CL’s desk. He leans forward and tells CL he recommend that….CL leans over and yells to interrupt him. He doesn’t need any more of Pastor’s fawning like a toady. He wants to know if Pastor has the most remote idea of where this “pair of threats” has gone. Pastor is sorry, but Monica caught Paula at the elevator and they left. CL is annoyed big time. Why is this happening to me? Everything was going so well! Pastor says if you’ll permit me, I think you’re jumping to conclusions. Maybe nothing has happened. CL replies that Paula won’t speak to him and Monica exiled him to the guest room. Is that what you call nothing happening? Pastor retorts that he was referring to the possibility that neither of his TWO women had revealed anything critical to the other. If you let me, I’ll tell you you’ve gotten off cheaply. CL blusters. Ivonne interrupts and he barks at her. She tells him Fernando is looking for him. CL says tell him to come in, and you, too! She nervously agrees. She looks defiant, though, when she come in. She rolls her eyes at Pastor, who gives her the “I dunno” shrug in return. Fernando looks like he’d rather be swallowed up by a hole in the floor. CL looks menacingly back and forth at them. [If he’s having a bad hair day, everyone’s going to.]

Juan helps Monica and Paula out of the car at a building that has the “Farell Industries” logo on the side. Monica swoons against the car and he jumps to steady her. What’s up? She says she was dizzy. Paula wants to know if they can get her something, and shouldn’t she sit? Monica says she’ll be fine. Juan asks if she’s sure, and she affirms she is while Paula exchanges looks with Juan. The ladies go off while Juan thought bubbles that something was very weird here, but neither he nor the Licenciada has any idea what was really happening at the time. But soon they would know the bomb that was heating up. Paula tells Monica to be careful around the boxes stacked up. Monica is impatient with her solicitousness. Calm down, it’s going to be fine, she tells Paula. Paula is concerned that her dizziness is something to worry about. Monica smiles sweetly and tells her it’s the most normal thing for a woman in her state. In your state? Yes, I’m pregnant. [Don’t even have to tell you how impactada Paula is, right?] We are extremely thankful to note that any similarity to real life is purely coincidental.

Vocabulary (but there are a few more in the text I didn’t transfer down here)

• No taladres el alma – don’t put a hole in the soul (don’t drill/bore through the soul)
• Dar la cara – face the consequences (give the face)
• Todavía andas derrapando por Yadira?— Are you still crazy about Yadira?” Literally, Are you still skidding along for Yadira?
• Le gusta matar la víbora en Viernes – he likes to kill the snake on Friday, “matar la víbora en Viernes” is slang for get lucky
• Moral distraída=slovenly, shabby or untidy morals
• Viejo/vieja – old guy, old gal, commonly what spouses call each other, too (regardless of age)
• Pelagátos – lightweight
• Fichita, from ficha, - villain or rogue
• Agarra la onda – understand the vibes
• Tarejta de crédito – credit card
• Estropajo – good-for-nothing, rag, dishcloth

Have a wonderful Labor Day holiday, everyone!

Jeanne

Labels: Juan