Caray, Caray!

Ana cleans her paintbrushes while wearing a white suit jacket, how silly. CL shows up at the front door and we get a triple impactado out of the deal. Ana tells him he's a lying creep, her daughter has suffered the consequences and this is the last time he'll be received in her house.

CL is on a fact-finding mission. He wants to know what his wife and mistress discussed. Paula sarcastically tells him she denied everything and since he is the master of pretending he has nada to worry about. CL wants to go somewhere and talk about it.

Meanwhile Juan is stuck in a line, possibly the line for the public phone. He tells himself it's time to get a cellular.

Paula's phone rings. It's Juan and for once she's sweet and nice to him. Poor Juan thinks she's genuine but she's only doing it to irritate CL and it works. She gives Juan kisses over the phone and agrees to come to dinner.

Paula tells CL they'll have to talk another day because she has to get ready for her hot date.

Kike pouts a little because Juan's got big plans for dinner so Juan invites Kike his hermano to join them at Casa Cachón for dinner.

Ana scolds Paula for being an unrepentent and habitual manipulator. Paula begs Ana to go to dinner with her but Ana refuses.

CL goes home so he can torture then ignore Monica. He tells her that he feels like an imbecile because of her. She said she could no longer close her eyes, she had to do something, and if she has to go back again (to see Paula I guess) she won't hesitate to do so, whether he likes it or not.

The grocer happily pays Juan and Kike. He says Juan proved he's not all lip; he's satisfied and wants them to work again tomorrow.

Yadi tells Alirio that he's hogging the phone. Ali says it's her fault because he's calling around trying to locate a pissed-off Gutierrez. Yadi insults him and Ali responds that his career is untouchable and beyond reproach. They get into a yelling and name-calling match. Nidia flounces in and breaks them up.

Juan splits the take with Kike, but not really. First he pays Kike back some of what he owes him (uh, basically paying Kike back with Kike's own money) then Juan keeps the rest saying they have to reinvest it in the business. They should open a new account for their weekend money; it will be for looking and not touching.

Yadi and Ali play he-said-she-said for Nidia. Nidia sides with Yadi of course and tells Ali that the front door is open. There is nothing to stop him from leaving.

Juan does the money happy dance and approaches Casa Cachón with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne. He sees Ali leaving and howls with laughter at Ali's white legs and silly outfit. Ali has a tantrum and yells that the three fieras in that house treat him worse than a fly on the wall.

Nidia and Yadi are delighted to see Juan and hear of his successful day. He asks if it's OK that he invited Kike for dinner. Well duh, Yadi is thrilled. Juan runs upstairs to get cleaned up for the licenciada.

Juan, in a short blue towel, lays out his outfits in order to select the best look, best being relative considering Juan's taste in clothing. Chinches Bravas but it's hard to decide what will impress the licenciada!

Juan trots down the hall in his towel and runs into Marely. Apparently his plumbing is broken so he has to use Nidia's bathroom. Juan hold his scrubby ball in front of himself and explains to Mari that Paula is coming for dinner. Yadi joins them and blatantly ogles the chomi chomi.

Nidia can barely keep her hands off our luscious Juan as he makes his way through the obstacle course of her hands. He manages to shut the bathroom door and lock it. Whew! He sees the doorknob wiggle and does his happy dance again, Doña Nidia can't get in!

Back in her room, Nidia snaps her fingers, locks her bedroom door, and takes a chug of booze.

Mari tells Yadi if she likes Juan so much then why doesn't she make a play for him? "No thanks," says Yadi, "I don't want to pedal your bicycle."

Ali arrives home. He states to the girls that he's not coming but rather going, he only returned for his things. He calls them princesses and they respond that they are queens. The louder he yells the harder they laugh.

Juan, looking quite fetching in nothing but his little blue towel, shaves. Nidia, now dressed to kill in her black negligee, coos to her chomi chomi through the door. Juan is afraid to leave the bathroom, as well he should be. He covers up with two more big towels and prepares to face the predator. She hefts and slinks and asks him to scratch her back. Juan dashes past her and...Oops!! His towel falls to the floor! He holds his hands out wide, Nidia stares, he drops his toiletries and covers his work of art, Nidia pants and fans herself as she stares stares stares at Juan. He finally bends down and retrieves his towel. He tries to leave but she pushes him on the bed and sings victorious.

Uh oh, Alirio arrives and bangs on the door. Nidia curses her bad luck that he had to arrive at that moment. Juan is trapped.

Juan tries to hide behind the curtain, under the pillows and in the closet but he's too big. Nidia pushes him back in the bathroom where he hides in the tub under a towel.

CL tells Moni he wants to start at zero. He invites her to dinner and maybe dancing. He holds her hand tenderly and she agrees...she loves him so! He kisses her. Barf!!

Nidia finally lets Ali in. He yells and starts packing his clothes. He keeps walking by the bathroom door as Juan cowers behind it.

Nidia helps Ali pack. He loudly vows that when Gutierrez opens his mouth about The Truth then on that day she'll remember him. Juan, eavesdropping, finds this statement interesting. Ali is about to leave but changes his mind. Not so fast, he's got to get his toiletries first. Nidia throws herself between Ali and the bathroom door.

Ali busts through her and sees Juan, still in his towel, bent over the tub. "The pipes don't work, they're too old," Juan informs him, pretending to fix the plumbing. "Betrayal!!" yells Ali over and over. The girls listen outside the door as Ali calls Juan a gigolo and begins throwing things around the room.

Ali wants to fight but Juan refuses. Ali says he's not afraid of Juan's muscles. After much yelling, including Nidia urging Juan to smack Alirio, Ali winds up and punches Juan in the face. Juan stumbles out the door and tells the girls he could kill Ali with his bare hands but he's a crazy old dude. Yadi tells Juan that's what happens when he gets caught with his hands in the masa.

Nidia tells Ali that only a pervert would think what he's thinking. Juan is like a son to her! "Que pena!" she exclaims, fanning herself. Ali doesn't fall for this, however, and he yells that he was not happy to find Juan in the bedroom of His Wife. "Your ex-wife," she corrects, "as I recall you are on your way out."

But Ali has a change of heart. He decides he will not leave, instead he will stay to protect what is his and to keep an eye on Nidia's licentious behavior. He says he will share Nidia's techo (roof) and her lecho (bed). He starts pulling clothes out of his suitcase and she keeps trying to stuff them back in.

Juan thought bubbles that this is the consequence of matrimony without love. He has selected the most atrociously colorful outfit in his wardrobe. Is he wearing a floral and paisley jacket with a striped tie? Lord help us!

Mari asks Nidia does she have to be at the dinner? Isn't it bad enough that she has to see Paula all day? Yadi tells Mari to pluck up her courage and prepare to see Juan as candy stuck to a fly. Nidia says she doubts very much that Paula will come to their house.

Paula's doorbell rings and Paula begs Ana one more time to go with her. Ana says she'll not invent any more lies.

Juan's horrific jacket bursts through the doorway. Paula evades Juan's kiss. He thought bubbles, but really it sounds more like a retrospective narrative, "We began badly; from the first moment when she withdrew from the obligatory welcome kiss I realized that there was trouble." Paula tells him she's sorry but she can't go to dinner with him.

Kike arrives at Casa Cachón and Yadi tells him that according to Nidia Paula will spoil Juan's plans and won't show for dinner.

Juan is not happy with Paula's decision. How could she do this after all the planning and prep he put into tonight's dinner? He won't be able to show his face for the shame of it all. Paula starts to weave her tapestry of lies. It has something to do with her mama, she explains. Her mama leaves tomorrow and Paula has to help her and wants to be with her (even though they are barely speaking, what a liar!!). Juan pleads. Paula lies, lies, lies. Frankly it's sickening. Juan's heart is breaking.

Ana is on the phone with Nidia. She's worried about Paula being alone after she leaves. Nidia and the girls are the only "family" that Paula has after her. Nidia assures Ana that Paula can always talk to them and they will set a moral standard second only to the Carmelite nuns.

Juan continues his shameless pleading and Paula continues her lies and excuses. But wait, Juan has an idea! If Ana is leaving then he needs to see her right now. "Now?" asks Paula, "Why?" Juan smiles sweetly and rather stupidly, "because I want to ask her for your hand in marriage, my love."

hacer de tripas corazón = to pluck up one's courage

Labels: Juan