Friday, October 05, 2007
I Love Juan - Thursday 10/4 - In which Juan shows off his dumb tattoo and Pastor shows off his new art.
Update: Here it is!
Dear readers, I had a little trouble with some of the dichos and phrases so please let me know if you have a better or more correct translation. Thank you.
Juan, immersed in his fantasy of impressing Paula with his new tattoo (hey, no mullet!), whinges like a baby at his reality...he is at the mercy of a gleefully sadistic tattoo "artist"/auto mechanic. (OK, reality check here, his tattoo is burning? Excuse me, but my mid-life crisis tattoo was nothing like his experience. Folks, there should be no burning involved.)
Pastor, Ivonne and I admire the nude of Juan, even though the head looks a bit off, kind of like a National Enquirer bad cut-and-paste, but then again who's looking at the head? Pastor is in a quandary, he took his masterpiece home but when mama saw it she ordered him to remove it or she would change the locks and never allow Pastor to enter the house again. Ivonne has an idea...
Paula shows up at the office in her white mini-skirt. What, is she actually working for once? Oops, probably not, here comes Ivonne in her hot pink more-mini skirt. They trade insults but Paula consents to talk to Ivonne regarding the subject of CL. Long story short, Ivonne reveals that they share the same shame and deception - she was also CL's lover, thus is Ivonne's revenge against CL revealed.
Fernando tells CL that no, he did not drive Ivonne home last night. She jumped out of the car in a snit and took a taxi. CL wonders why all women resolve their problems with hysterical tantrums, to which I say donkey, meet ears. CL adds that Ivonne is becoming a major problem for him. He advises Fer to never get involved with a neurotic woman. Fer scowls thoughtfully.
At the Cachón breakfast table Alirio presses Nidia for info on her past. To what was Yadira referring earlier when she said Nidia set the example of men in the bedroom? Nidia warns him not to offend her, her girls are simply jealous of their mami's happiness. He fawns over her and she pushes him away. He mentions that Gutierrez has been bugging him about Yadi. Nidia tells him to bring Gutierrez home for dinner that night and leave the rest to her.
Juan admires his average and uninspired tattoo in a car's rear view mirror, but he is happy with it and thinks the guy is an artiste. The pain will be worth it when Paula sees it. Kike warns him to be careful, people like Paula aren't impressed by the same things that they are. Juan reminds him that Paula wasn't born in a cradle of diamonds. Her father Samuel, may he rest in peace, was like them and also worked himself to the top. They exchange friendly insults. Juan to Kike - "Stingy, disobedient, zacatón (from Zacatecas?). Kike to Juan - "Dreamer, naive!"
Paula doesn't want to believe Ivonne's revelation but Ivonne convinces her. CL made loads of promises to her too, vowed to divorce his wife, hablablablabla, sound familiar licenciada? Paula asks why Ivonne is telling her all this? Ivonne claims it's because women should be united. (Of course this is a lie and not even a rightous one!) Ivonne concludes that she thinks Paula's affair with Juan is also a symptom, a symptom of Cesar Luis Farell. Paula clenches her fist as Ivonne smugly departs.
Alirio shows up and requests Ivonne's help. He's looking for the number of one "Gomez". Ivonne informs him that Gomez was fired. (Gomez must be the VP who was fired for no good reason except to hire Paula and her bazongas.) Ivonne looks the number up for Alirio.
Juan shows off his tattoo to passers-by in the garage. Surly Fer wonders why Juan and Kike are so late. Juan flexes his tattooed muscle in response and tells Fer to check it out. Fer and Juan spar good-naturedly, I'm sure it was very amusing however I didn't understand it very well. Basically Fer teases Juan and asks him if he plans to paint his hair green. Maybe he's accusing Juan of being an attention-getter. Juan says at least he has his own personality and is not just one of the series like all the rest. He calls Fer a chihuahua face.
Fer changes the subject and asks Juan about his studies. Juan says this subject makes him the color of ants (makes him angry) and he asks Fer for help with his homework. He explains that he's more or less the head of the class and needs to get his homework done. Fer says if Juan is the head then he'd love to see the rest of the class (losers in other words). Fer is impactado when Juan reveals that he only needs help with 35 problems.
Pastor, irritated that Kike has not yet arrived to work, instructs Marely to send Kike to him right away, he urgently needs his signature on some papers.
Kike arrives and passes an annoyed Julia. Mari tells him to report to Pastor pronto.
Pastor has Kike sign the papers but then he reveals his real reason for summoning Kike...Pastor saunters over to his wall where the gigantic nude of Juan is on display!! (OK, this painting in the HR Director's office is just bizarre, even by telenovela standards. Can you imagine the lawsuits to come out of this? But I digress...) "Sopas!!!" exclaims a muy impactado Kike. He tries not to look at it as Pastor very proudly leans against the wall.
Paula gets hysterical with Mari and says she was just another number on CL's list. Mari tells Paula to calm down and not forget the Ivonne is a complete jerk. Paula says only thinking of CL makes her blood boil. She vows that she will teach Farell a lesson.
Kike cautiously approaches Julia and asks if she's mad at him. He tries to apologize but she rebuffs him, and rightly so. It's best not to get mixed up in the middle of a dysfunctional on-again off-again relationship.
Alirio phones Gomez while Gutierrez (Guti as Alirio calls him) cackles at his side. Alirio tells Gomez he wants to discuss the subject of Farell Industries; can they meet at noon? Alirio and Guti high five it as visions of dollar signs dance in their heads. I know it would actually be visions of pesos but the cadence was all wrong so I stuck with dollar signs.
Fer tries once again to explain Math to Juan but all Juan can pay attention to is the mini-skirt walking up the stairs. Fer gets frustrated at Juan's inattention and throws down his pencil but Juan manages to wheedle Fer back by making a pathetic doggie face.
An excited Kike runs up and says he just saw something that's going to totally disgrace Juan's reputation. Asks a horrified Juan, "The licenciada is back with the boss?" "No, much worse," answers Kike, "have you seen the matraca (pain or plague?) hanging in Pastor's office?" Juan hazards a guess, is it a fuschia colored doll? (Una muñeca colór fucsia)
The next scene begins with an extreme close-up of Paula's shapely nalgas packed into her skin tight mini-skirt. She strides over to Ivonne and asks to speak to CL. Ivonne starts to give her lip so Paula brushes past her. Paula tells CL that she needs to talk business, however she soon gets to her real mission which is she wants to ask CL what he's up to with Juan.
Speaking of the king of Rome, Juan prances through the office displaying his tattooed bicep. Subtle is not a word in Juan's vocabulary. He blasts into Pastor's office and announces he has some serious business to discuss. He eyes his portrait as the office gossips gather outside to watch the action.
Paula tells CL that one minute he's ready to fire Juan and the next he's talking promotions so what gives? CL claims that he is admitting defeat. This sets Paula off because she just knows it's a load of bull. She says it's incredible how he applies his "generosity" to all his victims, Ivonne for example. Wasn't she his lover for most of the time she was his secretary?
Juan and Pastor create quite a scene for their onlookers. Bottom line is Juan wants to know how Pastor gets off hanging a nude painting of him in his office. Vivaldi begins playing in the background as Pastor claims the painting is not Juan, it is a representation of Juan. It is fine art that cost him a pretty penny. Juan is momentarily impressed, but NO NO NO NO NO, it cannot hang on Pastor's wall! Can't Pastor take it home? Past explains that his mama is not an appreciator of art and she has a particular aversion to this painting's model. They go round and
round (with Juan covering his privates) but Pastor will not budge.
CL and Paula continue their incredibly boring argument about Ivonne. Paula doesn't believe a thing he says because he is a pig, a little man. She tells him to butt out of her life. She stomps out and he smirks to himself.
Now Juan is on his knees pleading with Pastor to remove the painting. It's vulgar. The Vivaldi cues in again as Pastor ramps up for more pastor-logic. He denies the painting is vulgar, it's fine art, in fact he can imagine Juan's face in the Prado or the Louvre. Juan asks what will people think of him? Pastor, HR Director from hell, threatens to make copies and plaster them all over the company. Juan leaves, defeated but still showing his tattoo to the admiring females in the office.
Paula whines some more to Mari. She disses Pastor who no doubt spills his guts to Ivonne about everything.
Juan shows CL his tattoo and CL says it's simply divine, it's got real character. He says when Paula sees it it'll absolutely slay her. Juan is thrilled, that was his intention exactly! CL gets all confidential with Juan and tells him that Paula came into his office and forbade CL from helping or promoting Juan in any way. Juan is I'm-still-showing-off-my-tattoo impactado.
CL swears to Juan that he has no desire to be an apple of discord (bone of contention) between Juan and Paula. He suggests that Juan talk to Paula and straighten her out otherwise they'll have to forget their plans for Juan's ascension in the company. It appears that Juan doesn't quite know how to take CL's comments.
Juan wants to speak to Paula but Mari tells him to beat it. Both she and Paula are absolutely swamped with work.
Fernando's office phone (i.e. the garage phone) rings. It's Nidia all dressed up in her sexy garb for her phone call to her chomi chomi. Her excuse for calling is that she needs to talk to Kike. Fer says Kike's not around and quickly hangs up.
A frowning Juan returns to the garage. Fer asks him if he convinced his admirer to remove his painting of Juan, aka Michelangelo's David. Juan goes into a tirade against Pastor, CL and injsutice in general. He says he will fix his life right now. He picks up the phone and dials.
Juan calls Paula and invites her to lunch. Today. They need to discuss a couple of things. She agrees. Fer is impressed that Juan was able to turn his tragedy into happiness in one second. Juan explains the reason, it's love. He asks what does Fer know of love if Fer has never kissed a donkey, right? Fer has never been in love, true?Juan changes the subject and asks Fer Fer Fernandito for a loan. Fer tells Jua Jua Juanito "NO". Juan even tries his Poor Pity Kitty face but Fer remains firm; he says he is stone.
Nidia tells Yadi that Gutierrez will join them for dinner. Yadi whines a little and hopes her sacrifice is good for something. Nidia says the important thing is to find Kike and get him there too; what the eyes don't see the heart doesn't feel. Ah, so Nidia truly was looking for Kike earlier. Yadi is afraid Nidia's plot will only complicate her life further. Ya think?
Alirio and Gutierrez are waiting for Gomez at the restaurant. (At least I think they are waiting; did Gomez agree to meet them?) Alirio hopes that Guti won't fail him. Guti can't believe that Alirio thinks he would lose this golden opportunity. Alirio goes on to reassure Guti that Nidia no longer harbors any rancor against him for being a blackmailer. Guti suggests they put that behind them. Alirio goes into one of soliloquies...he agrees, when Guti wanted to abuse Alirio's loyalty and affection Alirio turned the other cheek, and now he invites Guti to share his table. He hopes Guti sees that with Alirio things are obtained by the good, by the bad no way! Guti says Alirio doesn't know how significant this is for him, to finally be able to enter through the big door of Alirio's house. (Except of course that it's Nidia's house, heh heh, and inviting him to dinner is only a plot to get Kike back on the program.)
CL advises Ivonne to stop wasting her time at work, for example telling stupidities to Paula. Ivonne plays dumb but CL is happy to refresh her memory. He tells her that her plot to discredit him with Paula failed and has only served to convince him that she (Ivonne) is completely desperate. "Wrong!" she exclaims, "and next time I'm not going to tell the licenciada, next time I'll tell Señora Monica, your wife!"
Juan hits up Kike for a loan. He has to have some money because he invited his girlfriend to lunch. Kike refuses, saying Juan is more expensive than a new girlfriend. Juan brings up the sore subject of Julia, commenting that she seems quite mad at Kike. Juan is very sorry for that but he still needs the money. He's in the midst of sweet-talking Kike when Paula strides by on her way to lunch with Juan. "Chinchas bravas!" Juan thought-bubbles while making one of his goofy-Juan faces, "and now what am I going to do?"
Chinchas bravas! = I need help with this one. It means "brave bedbugs" right? So does it mean something like "How annoying"?
codo/a = stingy
derrota = defeat
díscolo = disobedient, rebellious
manzana de discordia = bone of contention (lit. apple of discord)
matraca = pain, plague
nalgas = buttocks
nanay = no way!
Sopas! = Crash!, Wallop!
tener mala leche = to be a complete jerk (lit. to have bad milk)
Labels: Juan
Lori
Susanlynn, my big red boat will always be Fernando to me too.
Lori, we're glad you appreciate the recaps. In this case I really enjoyed doing it because it gave me something fun and silly to focus on for a while. And, ahem, I simply LOVE to focus on Juan, especially when he spends the entire episode shaking his bootie and showing off his bodacious bod. I hit the jackpot with this one.
I haven't a clue what" chinches braves" means but Juan uses it so much I just thought it was one of his goofy expressions like "jeepers creepers" or something like that. But maybe Maricruz knows. Hello...Maricruz...are you out there? Help!
Judy B.
The reason you had trouble with the dichos, etc., is because Juan and Alirio were purposely talking in idioms last night. It made my head spin! I ordered a half dozen new dicho dictionaries (hooray for one-touch ordering from amazon.com) and hope they come soon.
“a gleefully sadistic tattoo "artist"/auto mechanic” LOL! The guy was so creepy he made my skin crawl. Even his voice sounded like he should be a Death Eater.
“Excuse me, but my mid-life crisis tattoo was nothing like his experience. Folks, there should be no burning involved.” That sort of surprised me. I’m glad to hear you say it’s not the norm. Looked more like Juan was getting branded.
“Pastor, Ivonne and I admire the nude of Juan” LOL! That is a great painting, and what a scene that made for Juan and Pastor. I love the classical music that always plays when Pastor is discussing the virtues of art.
“CL wonders why all women resolve their problems with hysterical tantrums, to which I say donkey, meet ears” LOL! You’ve noticed that CL is the King of tantrums? He’s downright scary when he’s on a rabid roll.
Nidia sure made a nice save with Alirio when she told him the girls were jealous because of her happiness. If Alirio only knew.
“Juan to Kike - "Stingy, disobedient, zacatón (from Zacatecas?)” Zacatera is a haystack, so it could be a hayseed, or zacate is a sponge (one definition) so it could be a person who sponges. Any bets, anyone? It’s an insult, whatever.
“Ivonne claims it's because women should be united. (Of course this is a lie and not even a rightous one!)” LOL-Ivonne wouldn’t know how to tell a righteous lie if one hit her in the face. She and CL are so alike in that.
Gomez is definitely the veep who was fired. Somehow I don’t think Alirio and Gutis are going to come out on top with Gomez involved.
Juan showing off his tattoo reminded me yet again of a 16-year old boy in love for the first time. ¡Pobrecito!
I don’t think Fern is a Chihuahua face. More of a Great Dane.
“OK, this painting in the HR Director's office is just bizarre, even by telenovela standards.” Ain’t it the truth? Have you ever seen anything so absurd? Keep in mind, though, that this was Ivonne’s brilliant idea. She who wants to be named the new veep.
Yes, matraca means a pain. Well, it was a fuschia colored muñeco, not muñeca.
“The Vivaldi cues in again as Pastor ramps up for more pastor-logic” LOL! His arguments were flawless, and totally indefensible for a man of Juan’s background. Poor Juan!
Jeanne
I got my tattoo after my sailing partner Synthia and I raced our little 28' boat to Hawaii. We celebrated our accomplishment by getting matching tattoos of a hula girl playing the ukulele. Synthia's is about 5" and on her forearm, mine is about 8" and right in the middle of my back.
"When I got my ears pierced years ago , my father was ticked because , as he reasoned ''You have enough holes in your head...why do you want more ?'" Are your father and mine related? Or do they just talk to each other? Forty years ago when I wanted my ears pierced, that was the line I got. Once I was into adulthood, though, it was a done deal.
Sylvia, that boat trip to Hawaii was nothing short of awesome. You deserved whatever you wanted after taking the boat that far. It's about 2500 miles by air from southern California. I am assuming it's pretty much identical by water. It was a winner, right?
Jeanne
Jeanne
You almost drowned?! No wonder you dont like the water. I'm not surprised you still have nightmares.
Yes, that near-drowning experience is forever etched on my mind. It was in a fairly deep lake where someone was trying to teach me to waterski. I don't have wonderful balance, and got off balance. I went down but my hands froze on the rope and dragged me to the bottom until I finally "unfroze," I guess, and let go. I remember thinking I'd never get to the top again, and the pressure of the depth in the beginning was enormous. I was a fair swimmer, having had years of lessons, which may be how I surfaced. Hard to hold my breath that long, though, when I wasn't expecting to go down. I hadn't taken a deep one when I went under. Because of early ear infections as a kid I wore earplugs (still have slight perforations in the eardrums and water gets in) and noseplugs. Lost them early on down near the bottom of the lake. Next thing I remember, I was on shore being pumped or something (like CPR). Ugh.
Jeanne
Jeanne
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