Caray, Caray!

I noticed how attractive Susana Gonzalez looks in the opening credits, whichever outfit she is wearing when they show her. She doesn’t have any headbands on, no strange purple wigs, she just looks natural and hot. Why aren’t we seeing her that way on the show?

We see the scene again with Rita inviting Santiago over for dinner, there was indeed a mention of barbacoa. Interestingly enough, my wife and mother in law (in from Mexico for Christmas) are downstairs preparing some tacos de barbacoa RIGHT NOW. I am hungry.

Captain Ric gets ready to attack a couple ships. As mentioned before, when the targets see the pirates coming for them they freak out. The passengers go below, the sails go up, but it is all in vain I’m sure. Captain Ric will not be evaded. He even gets a forcedly casual pose set up on the prow of his ship, leaning back against one of the ropes, trying to look cool. I’m sure you ladies agree that he pulled it off, he looks cool.

Alberto has returned to Jorge’s place. His ass apparently hurts from the long trip as he grunts and groans a lot. He heads inside to find Jorge.

The pirates continue to chase their target ships. There are uniformed soldiers on them, I don’t know if they are military, private guard, or what, but they get ready to defend themselves.

The belly dancer that was previously in the plaza is now inside Don Jorge’s living room, along with her band (two guys wearing white turbans/hats who tap on drums), the men are greatly enjoying the show. Jorge asks where she came from and is told from the plaza and she will do anything. One guy finally figures out that if she’ll do anything, why is she just dancing? He pulls her down from the table to get a little friendlier. I’m not sure what this guy’s name is, he has a mustache. One other guy tries to horn in on her too. She moves around the room, getting groped. What a life. NOT. Alberto comes in and everyone turns their attention to him, except for one horny guy still all over the dancer. Alberto tells Jorge that he found ‘the guy.’ Jorge clears his throat and tells the dancer to wait for him in the other room, he’ll be there soon. Horny guy says “why?” and Jorge correctly answers that he is the owner of the house, so there. I’ve been waiting to make this comment about Jorge. He looks like Gary Oldman, but has tics and behaviors like a skinny Rodney Dangerfield. I keep waiting for him to talk about not getting any respect. Just the way he shifts his balance from one foot to the other, something about it reminds me of Rodney. Or at the very least he reminds me of someone trying extremely hard to be cool, even though everyone around him is kissing his butt. Maybe he knows they kiss his butt just because he is powerful, but he really wants them to like him instead. Like Michael Scott on The Office. Anyway, I digress. Jorge sends the wench to the other room to hear what Alberto has to say. All he says so far is that he thought his time had come, he made it through a terrible storm.

The pirates and the soldiers posture at each other. Finally Captain Ric orders the cannons to fire, the battle begins. Cannons and guns fire, people die. Captain Ric again orders someone to knick over the main mast. Someone does, and the pirates storm the other boat. One of the pirates yells to ‘kill everyone!’ Lots of fighting, Captain Ric gets right in the middle of it. Someone gets their head cut off and we see it roll away like a basketball. Mario takes a sword to the gut, things don’t look good. Captain Ric notices and his eyes bug out.

Alberto tells Jorge all about his meeting with Foreman. He tells Jorge that Foreman will get one third of the proceeds, Jorge thinks it’s too much. Did they show at the actual meeting what the agreement was? Is Alberto skimming?

The ship doctor is done working on Mario, who is blind drunk to dull the pain. Mario tells Ric that he can have his booty if he dies. Ric asks if there is any news of Lazaro, Mario says no but thinks it must be going well, he also thinks Lazaro is spending time with hookers too. Where did Lazaro go? I’m confused. Ric is grumpy that they didn’t get much money from the conquest. He’ll try to sell the boat they took over. He isn’t interested in forming a fleet. Mario says he wants to go to New Orleans after this run is over. That will get them thirsty again for piracy, Mario says if it is in your blood it never leaves. Ric doesn’t look so sure.

Weeks later –

Camila and Tim exit the church after getting married, along with Lisbeta and Francisca. Nobody looks happy, not even Tim, really. Camila looks nicer finally, but of course there is immediately crying. There is a party back at Tim’s house, complete with every man in attendance smoothing down their mustache. What’s up with that? Some very fat singer is lip-synching a tune. All the women are miserable, for their own reasons, and crying.

Mercedes’s servant (can’t remember his name) delivers the news to Mercedes that Tim and Camila got married. She isn’t please, of course. She knows that he got married to keep Ric’s money away from him. She rushes off to write Ric another letter.

On the beach, Ric finds Lazaro. I guess he took the other boat, he didn’t get much booty either. The boat that Lazaro attacked sank apparently, Ric tells him that he needs to realize that the boats are valuable. Perhaps Lazaro is lying again, like when he said he bought the kids at the slave market.

Foreman tells the group of pirates that the booty was weak, but they got a lot of prisoners that should bring good ransoms. Foreman still looks like Cary Elwes to me. They read over some rules from the ‘brotherhood of pirates’ or something like that, saying how much money or slaves they get for particular injuries. They drink a toast to the pirate brotherhood.

All the wedding guests finally leave after dark. Tim tells Camila to go to his room, they have to ‘talk.’ The other ladies wish her well and she goes. Tim tells Francisca and Lis that in the morning they are getting kicked out again. He will give them a pension and he reminds Lis that when he dies she’ll be rich. Liar. He goes to find Camila.

Tim tells Camila that she will be rich too, when he dies. This is his favorite story I guess. He says he wants a faithful wife, she has to sleep in his bed now. She starts whining and he tells her to stuff it. He says that having a son is one reason he married her, but then goes on to explain that he also wants to keep his inheritance away from his nephew. His daughter is in love with Ric and if Ric was a nice guy that would be fine, but he is a killer, so he wouldn’t want anything going to him through his daughter. Now it will all go to Camila. Camila is stunned at the news that his nephew is a pirate. They argue about what is fair to leave Lis, Tim says that’s his decision. He orders her into bed. She says she wants to go to her bed, Tim says no. She says she can’t be intimate with him. He is patient, but finally he tells her to shut up and get in bed. He tells her to just think about the money she’ll get when he’s dead. She can go home rich and find her old boyfriend. He pretty much falls asleep right away. He makes absolutely no move to try and have sex with her, she gets all weepy anyway.

The next morning Francisca and Lis leave the house. Camila asks for them at breakfast (she is wearing an 80s headband again), Tim says they wanted to go live with another relative and he agreed. Yeah right. Camila tries to steer the conversation back to his nephew the pirate. He says he doesn’t care about her family and she shouldn’t ask about his. She says that she would like to visit Francisca and Lis, he says “we’ll see.”

Ric and Mario return to the beach in Mexico where Santiago and his buddies had just been recently. Ric carries Mario to the shack, the other pirates carry lots of boxes ashore. Rick is reading the letter from Mercedes, it says his uncle married a Mexican woman. He says in the morning he’s going there to see what’s going on. Mario says to send Lazaro, suddenly Lazaro can do anything. If they only knew. Ric says no, he has to go himself. He says if he gets caught Mario can have his booty.

Camila rants about not being able to leave the house. Tim doesn’t want her to find Lis or Fran, and he also thinks she will just to try to escape. She tells him that she hopes he dies tonight. He laughs and walks away. She starts freaking out, thinking that she could be locked up here for 10 years or more.

Ascanio visits Mercedes’s house, he gives Epifanio (that’s his name!) the money for Francisca and Lis. Epifanio gives it to Francisca, who complains about Tim being cheap.

Alfredo walks through town, stopping to ogle a shirtless Vasco. He keeps walking and finds the girl who hangs out with Ursula. Alfredo tells her that he has been hearing rumors about Ursula and wants to know if Vasco is the guy. She starts to deny, so he grabs her arm and hurts her, the girl says yes but Ursula will kill her if she says anything. He says, ‘then don’t open your mouth’ and walks away. Phew. At least now we know why he took such a long look at Vasco. It wasn’t a ‘Felipe ogling a shirtless Luis’ in Alborada kind of moment.

Justo is counting money and Vasco comes in. Justo is missing money, he asks Vasco if he took it, Vasco admits to it. He says it was just one time and Justo yells at him. He has also heard about Ursula, Vasco says it isn’t his fault she’s a whore. Justo says Jorge will kill him if he finds out! Vasco sulks out the door. Justo says great, just what I needed.

Tim meets some ladies on the street, they ask why they never see his wife. He makes some excuse about her being sick.

The chisme gets back to Mercedes’s house, she discusses it with Lis and Francisca. They wonder if she is pregnant, and what that means. Lis mentions the paper guaranteeing her cut of the inheritance, Mercedes says that paper doesn’t matter. Finally Mercedes screams that Tim stole the money, Francisca defends Tim and says it was because Ric killed a woman. Mercedes has a complete freak out and starts screaming and crying, but I think really it isn’t about Ric, she wants the money.

Rick glowers at the ocean as he rides away from mexico.

Justo and Ofelia run into Jorge and Alberto on the street. Jorge asks about Santiago, Ofelia says he’s fine. After walking away, Alberto says Ofelia looks nice and asks Jorge “did you ever get some of that?” Jorge says yes, not a first night rights thing, before that. He ran into her one time and she couldn’t resist him. They see Ursula, Alberto says she’s so pretty, she isn’t looking for a husband? Jorge says no, not yet. I think Alberto wants a piece of Ursula pie.

Ursula goes into Justo’s store to shop. She gives secret looks to Vasco, who helps her with what she is shopping for. She wants him to come tonight, he says he can’t, she says he WILL. He doesn’t look thrilled about it. He gets a look from Rita, I guess everyone knows where he goes at night.

Ascanio is sweeping, wearing that ridiculous white wig. Was that common servant attire back then, or what? Camila comes outside, asking where Tim is. He directs her to the living room with a longing glance. I think he likes her. Camila stomps into the living room and says she wants a dog for company. She nags and Tim says fine. She starts to whine again, saying thanks for the money, but she really wants…. He cuts her off, enough already. He says be patient, in the end she’ll get her reward. Tim says he used to be happy until someone or other died. Then he wants to play chess. She actually sits there and pays attention to his chess lesson.

Ric arrives and greets Epifanio, who is glad to see him. In Mercedes’s room, Mercedes is sick in bed (maybe from her tantrum) and the other two ladies wear hideous sleeping caps. The caps are enormous and ugly. Anyway, Ric is there and Mercedes tells him the news about the wedding and all about the inheritance. Ric says whatever, he doesn’t need his uncle’s money. Mercedes says it isn’t Tim’s, it is his father’s! Lis tells Ric that the wife’s name is Camila, Ric starts breathing heavily. I don’t know if he is impactado or horny.

Labels: Pasion

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