Caray, Caray!

Well we figuratively see get to watch Mili cut off her nose to spite her face. The episode starts with Hugo making the announcement that he & lil Mili are an item. This leads to shocked expressions all round.

Luci is staring off in space as Consti is yapping on the phone. Luci looks like she and her best beau Jack Daniels, had a rough night. Consti is on his way out.

Consti hooks up with Andrea, he will give her no help, other than to return the apartment, car and I suppose a running tab at Victoria Secrets. Andrea looks like she just found a fake nail at the bottom of her drink, a fake nail in a shade she doesn’t own. Oh no, poor Andrea of the much discussed womb, has been cast into a golden cage, but a cage still in all. Consti, doctor shopping and having a tremendous supply of Viagra, plans to vote early and often. I’m not really following why she looks so unhappy with the situation, it’s not like she hasn’t driven down this road before, she literally knows every bump.

Meanwhile, back at the hacienda for a reason that escapes me, the servants have all gathered about the table and are playing the rich folks. Gloves is Hugo, Lina is Regina, Gloria is Val, Rocky is Consti, Socorrito is Luci, & Horacio is her brother Damien. Mili plays Mili, actually it is kinda funny. Socorrito does a good drunken Luci and Horacio does a most excellent sniveling cunado to Rocky’s Consti. Gloria is awesome as snotty Val & Mili holds her own and acts above it all. –See this is why as incredibly wealthy as I am, I don’t have servants, they will stab you in the back, I prefer to just buy slaves, same difference, but no messy rights.

Rocky gets a shot at the Taco Naco business over at the main bar and dance emporium Rodeo.

Al’s old girlfriend Pilar (Bwahhhaaa she was Karen in de Mundo) comes to visit Al to see what she can do about becoming his old new girlfriend. Al answers his door and old new chick comes in. Al is wearing only his towel slung on his hips. Personally I’m not feeling it, but for those of you who do…enjoy.
Pilar starts talking to him about his much crumpled heart. No, not Andrea, but someone else. Someone who made him feel as never before, so in love, so passionate. NOTE: to oldnew girlfriend, seriously no dude that was into you in the slightest would tell you that drivel, he tells his Granny that nonsense, are you feeling all romantic now?

Anyway, Mili who is lurking about, sees her come out of Al’s bedroom of broken dreams, lamenting and teeth gnashing. Mili hides around the corner, of course, we are destined for months of half-truths, innuendo & a failure to communicate. Mili looks like she is going to puke and wanders in circles, granted they are small circles and she finally reaches Hugo’s door right before she falls from exhaustion and is eaten alive by hyenas and vultures. Hugo seeing her crushed expression; inquires to her crestfalleness. “Are we Novios?” She is yelling loudly, she wants to shout it to the whole world or at least two doors down the hall to Al’s room. Hugo looking like he has just been told that he is on Prom Court grabs for her hand with glee.

Consti is getting dressed at Andrea’s. He is all grins and she looks like she has just been just been told that not only does she have head lice, egads they have spread. Consti continues to talk in that patronizing way. She asks if Luci will wonder where Consti spent the night. Frankly my dear Consti doesn’t give a damn.
He tells her he’ll be back and she better behave.

He leaves. Andrea calls some friend who works for a newspaper, she is gonna give them the big scoop on Consti’s business.

Val is talking to Pilar, who is trying to get the low down on Al’s great love. Val says it was nothing. Consti comes home. Andrea’s apartment must be in the toolshed. Meanwhile, Regina comes in and OldNewGirlfriend Pilar gets up and skips across the floor, reminding me of Heidi of the Alps. She is soooooooo happy to see Granny. Granny says she is looking for Mili. Val says Mili is serving them coffee. Mili comes in carrying the coffee and Hugo says he has an important announcement. Mili will no longer be serving the family as he and she will soon be joined in wedded bliss. Jaws drop all round.
Snotty Spice of course has to say that Mili is just after the money. Yeh, so unlike the married guy that Snotty almost married, he was only interested in her sweet pure personality. A cat fight breaks out with Consti in the middle yelling at both girls. Mili tries to force people to congratulate them. Damien says he will talk to his son. Luci appears to be scanning the room for a hidden bottle. Granny wants to talk to Mili. Hugo appears to be the only happy person in the room. Mili really tries to force Al to congratulate her. He just runs upstairs to change his clothes and go with OldNewGirlfriend.

Granny says she can’t support Mili’s decision to marry Hugo. She doesn’t love him. Mili says she loved that RatBastard Al, first it was Andrea, then not five seconds later…he was semi-nude with Pilar, locking lips. Granny has that well, boys will be boys look. So I guess Mili has decided it is better to marry crazy Hugo rather than wait til like her 19th birthday. My advice to Mili is, honey life is a banquet, so the Taco Asada gave you heartburn, there are plenty more items on the menu, no reason to settle for the Poco Loco Omelet.

Andrea, the BSC calls Hugo and says she has to see him. Hugo goes. ---See I was right, this girl does totally live in the past and not just her wardrobe choices, she wants Al back and thinks it will be no problemo. Hugo says Al will never take Andrea back. She thinks it is cause of Mili. Well no, not so much it is cause you are a crazy pretend baby killing psycho. Andrea says if he doesn’t help her she will say he was in on the deception. Yeah let’s see it was Hugo, Damien, Doctor buddy, Consti and maybe Luci, but she was too drunk to remember.

Damien tells Hugo, he is happy for him and he thinks Mili is great. He is glad Hugo has some new obsession.

Rocky goes around giving invites to the whole staff, to come to Taco Naco’s tonite. Great everyone is going, well not Snotty. The girls (Gloria, Lina and Mili) are sitting out on the lawn talking about going to Rocky’s big night. Of course the conversation turns to guys, but Mili does not want to talk about Hugo.

Pilar comes up and wants to talk to Mili. They walk and talk, I think Pilar is playing Mili, she talks about how in love she was with Al, he was her first. She wants to continue with him.
---Oh my gawd this was such a deja vu moment for me. I fondly recall walking with the staff on Martha’s Vineyard while regaling them with my first time story’s about the rich and powerful frat boys playing football on the front lawn---Well I didn’t specify which first time. Anyway, I know the servants were quite enamoured with my “Kickin it with the help” attitude.
Anyhow, Mili invites Pilar to the TacoNaco fest.

Mili tells Granny about the Taco fest. Granny tells Gloves they are going out.

Miss Perky Britches cons Al into going to the TacoNaco fest. Do it for your Prima. My Prima? Well she is marrying your Primo.

Now over at the Rodeo. Rocky has an eatery set up back behind the dance floor. Gloria, Lina & Grocery delivery boy, Hugo & Mili, Horacio & Socorrito. We go through some father, keep you hands off my baby between Horacio & grocery boy. Al & Pilar come in and he is all huggy with her. He and Mili fire barbs at each other. All retreat to the dance floor.

Mili is dancing all kinda flirty with Hugo putting her cowboy hat on his head and so on. Of course all is dancing with Pilar (Al & Mili) watch each other. Granny is sitting with Gloves, who is wearing his bow-tie and gloves (Que the Hell?). Gloves comes up and tells Mili & Hugo, that Granny says Tacos for everyone.

The whole group is in the back and Rocky makes a heartfelt speech about how they are his family and they are their to share in his success. He chokes up. Maybe I would have too, but I didn’t really pay much attention. You go guy.

Next day….Damien and Consti are pacing the floor there is some big newspaper story about how the business is in trouble. Consti is not happy.

There will be a family dinner tonight for Hugo and Mili, oh good times good times. Mili goes into Hugo’s room, Al creeping around in the hall, see her and stands outside the door. Mili is nervous, but Hugo says be cool, he will be right by her side. They kiss, Al comes in and does the clap, you know the one that people do when they are they only one clapping and they do it real slow. Hugo appearing to be the sane one says, What are you doing? He congratulates Hugo, much happiness primo. He offers Mili congrats too and sweeps in for a kiss, not a full fledged tongue hockey kiss, more of a hit or miss off the side of her mouth. She es muy impacto and not in a good way. She slaps him and Hugo grabs him. Al turns to walk away and then says, you got quite a deal, she is really good in bed. Mili screams and runs at the door, but Al is already gone. Hugo hugs her.

I would have forgiven a lot with this show, if they would have only shown Al doing the stiff leg five-year old pout walk down the hall. I have suffered through good looking guys crying over bad dressing angel dating ugly girls, I have suffered through forty year old virgins with equipment problems, I have suffered through pretty boys looking for a new husband for his beloved wife while the pretty boy suffers silently from leukemia, but damn Al you are a bit of a spoiled prick. I mean if Al did it cause he was evil, well okay, but he does it and he is so clueless of his pretentious golden boyness. No other guy on this show can even get any action, except Consti & Damien and face it, they have to pay for it. Al is a bi-hemisphere galan, he has women in Mexico and now the oldie, but you were my first and I swear only shows up from Europe, cause yeah there are no hot guys in Europe.

Now the family from hell are seated in the living room. Val makes some nasty little speech to Hugo about how she is so freakin happy he is marrying a Naca. Luci tries to make amends, but soon veers into if you want my honest opinion. Consti interrupts and plays it off. The rich and famous are now getting distracted and wonder what is the hold up. It is Al, who is in time out in his room. He is sitting on his bed remembering the day he and Mili had the fake marriage at the Church Festival. How could things go so wrong. Well if you would keep your various appendages to yourself. ….Anyway Granny comes in and tells Al, he has to suck it up OR stop the worst lie since “Weapons of Mass Destruction” and stop this nonsense. Mili can’t marry a man she doesn’t love………………………………………………

The End…
OMG we are left to wonder….Will Mili marry Hugo? If Hugo does and paints a full nude of Mili, won’t Damiens and Hugo’s conversations become even more vague and awkward as Damien stares at the painting? Fearing a repeat of history, will Luci take to hiding the bottles, knowing it is only a matter of time before Mili starts drinking her way through a loveless marriage? Luci may share Consti, but she sure the hell ain’t sharing the booze.

By the by…Consti is having a conversation with dead Rosario at the grave tomorrow night, choking back tears or maybe his eyes are watering from a reaction to whatever massage oil he forced Andrea to use on him, he is telling Mili’s Ma that she is sweet and beautiful. Mili runs up demanding to know what he is doing at her mother’s grave.

Also I must add here that soon a new one is starting…I keep seeing the commercial for the Tres Mariachis,
Just my name for them. But Rod from Destilando, and he is screaming….Hee good times good times.

Labels: guapos