Caray, Caray!

We get a repeat of Rocky/Morgan washing the car shirtless and Valeria fighting her raging hormones. His excuses for being shirtless are amusing (my clothes will get all wet, it's really hot out here). It's not a bad torso, but then I've never been overly enamored of the Schwarzenegger body type.

Again, we watch the horror that is Mili standing there on the fútbol field without even seeing the ball. See, that's how you know it's bad. Sor Cachete fails to resist the urge to say "I told you so" to Padre Manuel.

Constancio warns Alejandro about Florencia's dad being dangerous (dun, dun, dun). He claims he gets it, but I have my doubts. We all know how he goes back and forth.

Valeria keeps failing to resist Morgan/Rocky's naked chest. She's got her uptown girl hands all over His Naconess, but she finally runs away before he can make a grab. Rocky/Morgan caresses the car while he exults in his apparently irresistible appeal.

Valeria runs into her bedroom and indulges in a fantasy of herself, barefoot and pregnant, with curlers in her hair, cooking a shoe for her man's dinner. Bim and Bo come over to visit and sneer at the Love Hovel, throwing the same insults at Valeria that she usually throws at Mili. She starts screaming "no, no!", grabs her purse and runs out of the room.

Constancio comes to see Damian on his fake deathbed. Constancio says it's too bad he's not feeling well since he wanted to invite Damian to go gambling. Seems Damian already spent his check from earlier. Constancio tells him to rest up. Oddly enough, Damian makes a miraculous recovery, except for some weak coughs. The guys head out.

Gloria and Padre Manuel talk about Gloria's mom. She hasn't forgiven her yet, she's just considering it. PM pushes her to talk more to her mom, but Gloria came to the convent to console Mili. She lets herself get talked into going to talk to her Mom, but only because PM asked.

Mili gripes at her cuate Jesús. She wants to be happy "for a change" and win just one match, what's it worth?

Gloria says hi to her Mom in one of the convent hallways. She manages to ask "how are you?" and then runs out of things to say. There's nothing she wants to do either, but Mom wants to hug her. Gloria halfheartedly agrees. She gets weepy and actually calls her "Mamá."

Bobby opens the door to Valeria and is so surprised he forgets to ask her in. Valeria says she wants them to go out, I mean, he likes her, right? She asks him to seduce her (and if it were Braulio, he would have said "1 2 3"). Bobby approaches for a kiss, but it's just not working out. There is no heat going on here, it's worse than a "spin the bottle" kiss.

Gloria finds Mili in the kitchen. She gives her a pep talk about needing to fight for Alejandro. Like they say, "The shrimp caught sleeping ends up in the grocery store!" Mili's not sure how she's supposed to fight without getting labeled a bad girl. Gloria says it's only the end of the first half, Mili's got to get back in there for the second half. Mili agrees and they decide to go home and get Florencia's address from Braulio. Padre Manuel and Sor Cachete are surprised to see the two girls running out of there so fast.

Florencia finally comes home and tells her sister that Agapito is really Alejandro and the fake Alejandro was a friend of his. Sis is slightly impressed at Alejandro going to all that trouble. Florencia is convinced there's someone else--after all, who was he throwing rocks in the lake for?

Constancio has dragged Damian to a doctor's office. Damian whines while Constancio tries to pretend it's for Damian's own good and that he gives a crap about Damian. The doctor comes in to fetch them both and Constancio reassures Damian that he won't leave his side for a minute. Oh, fun, they're going to the proctologist first. If I were Damian, I'd just come clean, as it were. He gets blood drawn, a CT scan, some x-rays, and presumably a whole lot more.

Morgan/Rocky busts Valeria and Bobby necking on the couch in the foyer. Valeria giddily announces that they're boyfriend/girlfriend. Vapid tart.

Alejandro comes to visit Florencia. He comments on the nice table setting and then goes to wash his hands. The doorbell rings again, this time it's Mili in a yellow dress with her hair in pigtails and flower earrings. Florencia assumes that Mili's the new maid she asked the porter to send up. Mili plays along. *sigh* This can't lead anywhere good. Post commercial break, Florencia offers 200 pesos per day. Mili says she won't have a fixed schedule since she has to clean other houses. Mili asks about the plates on the table and razzes Florencia about having a boyfriend "already." Mili gives her name as "Maria" and Florencia says she was looking for a maid, but preferably a mute one. Mili comments on Florencia's hair and after promising she'll be back the next way, she tells Florencia to watch out for that guy in there…you never know about guys, you've got to watch out for all those nasty diseases and such. Mili leaves and a confused Florencia asks Alejandro about his safe sex habits. Bow, chicka, bow, bow. Alejandro looks really turned off and I'm now turned off by the fact that he doesn't seem to have had this conversation before with any of his previous (and numerous) partners. That is just not cool.

Horacio is still trying to make up to Socorro by telling jokes to prove he's not a chauvinist:

Q: Why did God make man first, then woman?
A: Because one learns from one's mistakes.

Q: What's the difference between a man and a green (unripe) avocado?
A: The avocado matures.

Q: Why, when you tell a man something, does it go in one ear and out the other?
A: Because sound can't travel in a vacuum.

Socorro finally giggles and Horacio throws out one more:

Q: Why can't a man be handsome and intelligent at the same time?
A: Because then he'd be a woman, of course!

Socorro wonders what she's going to do with him, but before he can answer, Rocky/Morgan walks in. He's in shock and weeping because Bobby took Valeria away from him. There are some metaphors about a bike, brakes, and tamales that I don't quite get, but I'm sure they all mean "He stole my not-girlfriend!"

Finally they're done with all the medical tests and Constancio, quite considerately asks if they don't have a candy for Damian like they give to kids after a visit. Personally, I go for a milkshake after one of those visits when they have to try both arms to get all the blood they wanted. Constancio has also been considerate enough to ask the doctor to bring the results straight to him the next day so poor Damian doesn't have to come back and get them. Constancio and Damian the Human Pincushion take their leave.

Florencia and Alejandro enjoy a candlelight dinner. Florencia stumbles over his name and they have a laugh about it. Florencia wonders if there's anything else Alejandro lied about. She tells Alejandro to be patient with her--she wasn't planning on getting into a relationship. Alejandro tells her he also wonders what to do now.

Mili informs Lina and Gloria that she's signed on as Florencia's maid to keep a better eye on her. This is her way of fighting for her man-boy, by keeping her enemy close. Mili claims not to like Florencia, but we know she's going to end up wanting to be BFFs like she does everyone else. Mili's sure Doña Regina will give her time off to go infiltrate enemy headquarters.

Damian tells Luciana that Constancio subjected him to unnecessary medical tests. Luciana whines. Damian asks for her help--he needs money (ooh, big shock) to try and bribe the honorable doctor with. Oh, these tiresome rich people, thinking they can solve everything with money.

Aha! That sneak Horacio got his jokes from Chamuco.

Mili asks Regina for permission to have a second job, just for a few days until the "situation" is settled. Regina offers her a raise (take it!) but Mili refuses (idiot). Mili tells her she's playing the second half, she needs to get her man back, she's down 1 to 0, but she's got 45 minutes left. *facepalm*

Bobby brags to Alejandro about being with Valeria. Alejandro thinks something weird is going on, it's too fast, it might be a trick of Valeria's. Bobby takes offense. He thinks Alejandro's projecting since it's him who keeps going back and forth between Mili and Florencia. When Bobby's making this much sense, it's a sad, sad, day. Alejandro explains that he adores Mili, but Florencia "moves" him, here, inside in a way a woman's never made him feel before (maybe it's just indigestion?). With Mili he forgets the world, but she's naca (he didn't say it, but it's what he meant). Bobby says that Florencia is worthy of the new president of Belmonte Co. Bobby also points out that Mili wants to change, but Alejandro's going to have to be patient. Alejandro says he's losing his patience.

Socorro asks Karla if it's true that Damian's dying. More or less, Karla says, he's sick, but not dying…and besides, love is the best medicine. Socorro nags her to quit going out with Damian. Karla tells Socorro that since she's always getting left by men, she's set a bad example for Karla. Slag. Braulio comes in and asks Socorro to make tea. Socorro starts eyeing Braulio…as a potential son-in-law, perhaps?

Damian comes by the doctor's office to try and get the results. He tells him he'll pay whatever to hand over the results. Ruben is offended and won't risk his professional ethics. Damian says that Constancio will kill him. Ruben says that's none of his affair, he's not for sale. Damian says he hopes Ruben's not sorry when he sees Damian's name on the tombstone. Suspension of disbelief escapes me, as Damian shouldn't have had to bribe Ruben for those test results, just say that he came to pick them up and then wait for them to be ready. Ethically, Ruben can't refuse to hand them over. Maybe he'll remember that when he gets over the insinuation that he's bribable. Ruben picks up the phone and tells Constancio that Damian did try to bribe him.

Rocky/Morgan is trying to convince Lina of something. Lina approves of him fighting for his love, but she's still not sure. Rocky/Morgan begs, saying "plees-eh" like they say in English. Rocky/Morgan drags Lina off to the garden.

Mili reports for her first day of work with Florencia. She messes up her fake name and has to change it to "Juana Maria." Florencia asks for help cooking a nice dinner for her boyfriend. Mili suggests, under her breath, fixing a laxative, then says she knows how to cook a nice fish dish--she even made it once for someone. Not too spicy, Florencia hopes, since she can't take too much spicy food. Mili grins from ear to ear as she says it's just to add flavor.

Damian reports back to Luciana that it's a no-go. Constancio will kill him, blah, blah, blah. Damian decides he needs to get out of the country until Constancio calms down.

Alejandro and Valeria talk about how they need to spend more time with Uncle Damian. Valeria's still sad that Hugo's out of the country. Alejandro asks Valeria what's up with her and Bobby. Valeria says it's not important and Alejandro tells her not to hurt Bobby. Alejandro walks off. Rocky/Morgan and Lina enter, making eyes at each other and saying each others names, and macking on each other. Valeria gets jealous, as per usual.

Florencia asks "Juana Maria" to set the table for 2 since it's time to eat. It takes a while for Mili to figure out that Florencia is asking her to sit at the table and eat together. Florencia tells her to get used to it. So much for hating her.

Valeria busts Lina and Rocky/Morgan apart. She tells Lina "you're dead!" Lina gets worried, but Rocky/Morgan has a second part of the plan ready. Valeria will find out he and Lina are together and there will be lots more kisses. Lina's worried because Rocky/Morgan is quite the kisser and she's afraid she might fall for him.

Damian drags his suitcases downstairs in preparation to meet Hugo in Barcelona. Constancio and Ruben both come in and Constancio wants Damian to see the test results. Damian starts begging for forgiveness as I wonder if they really did find something wrong with Damian. Constancio sits him down and says this isn't going to be easy. Oh, no, wait, is this Constancio's counter-fake-out? Because I would have liked to think that Dr. Ruben was actually a decent, un-bribable guy. I guess we'll see. Constancio can't say it, so Ruben says that the first set of results weren't really Damian's, but on the real results he saw a brain tumor and Damian has six months to live.

In the servants' dining room, Braulio wonders why Socorro's looking at him so much. Socorro asks why he doesn't have a girlfriend, being so good looking and all. Braulio thanks her for the compliment. Braulio confesses he thought about having a "partner" and maybe two French poodles. Socorro proposes Karla as Braulio's "partner". She says Braulio should tell Karla he wants to marry her. He looks horrified.

Damian and Luciana cry. Constancio comforts them. Ruben tells Luciana that surgery would be too risky. The only options are to get his affairs in order and spend time with his family, then wait for death. Luciana weeps loudly as Constancio bites his lip…in anguish or to stifle his laughter?

Mili complains about not being able to eat. She blames it on Florencia for asking her to eat together. The doorbell rings and it's Alejandro with a big bunch of flowers. Mili freezes. Hey, I just noticed that she doesn't wear her ridiculous socks to this job.

Tomorrow: A triple date, a kissing contest, and Alejandro meets Florencia's new maid.

And in other news, I will be graduating next week and between that and a much-needed vacation, I won't be able to do the next 2 Wednesdays. Can anyone cover for me, or at least put up blank posts for people to discuss? Thanks in advance!

Labels: guapos