Caray, Caray!

-Thomas á Kempis

We start off tonight's new stuff with Constancio and Luciana looking at each other and wondering if the other knows where their lost objet d'proof of adultery is. For those who may have missed it, the watch and the ring are both in Karla's cleavage, which is quite a feat considering she barely has any to speak of. Constancio and Luciana both wonder, in thought bubbles, whether the other one knows and then both decide that Karla can save the day. Constancio summons Karla to the study, but Luciana calls her back to stage whisper "Don't say a word about the ring!" Karla of course reminds her she'll pay.

In the living room, Mili and Hugo cuddle while Mili thanks Hugo for helping get Rocky and Horacio settled at Mili's house. Alejandro catches them and asks if Mili's dating both guys at once (Hugo and Mateo). Mili tells him to butt out and Hugo gets her out of there, saying he's got a fun day planned. Constancio and Karla pass by on their way to the study and Karla takes the opportunity to give Alejandro an "I told you so."

Karla and Constancio and Karla and Luciana now have parallel conversations in the study, for which I thank the writers as it cuts down on my workload. The conversations went thusly, with noted exceptions:

Blackmailee: Karla, I need you to tear up the house, but very discreetly, and find out if my spouse found a thingy that I lost that a member of the opposite sex gave me and if my spouse finds it, said spouse will make my life hell.
Karla: Oh, you've got a lover, huh?
Blackmailee: Just follow orders, k?
Karla: You know, there's a golden rule, "Never accept gifts from lovers."
Blackmailee: Save your advice and just do what you're told. **Luciana: I don't have a lover!! Just do what you're told
Karla: Hm, is this in my job description?
Blackmailee: OK, ok, I'll pay you **Luciana: I'll give you a few thousand pesos.

In her conversation with Constancio, we find out that International Bank of Karla no longer accepts personal checks. All deposits must be made in cash at time of service, no exceptions, no returns. International Bank of Karla thanks you for your business.

Chamuco tries to have a nice conversation with Gloria about her new family. Gloria's ok with Gamuza, but she won't claim her BioDad (and boy do I not blame her). Chamuco announces that he's going to work with Rocky and Horacio at the tire place and at Taco Naco. He estimates that in nine or ten years he'll have enough money for them to get married. Gloria looks horrified. Show of hands--How many think it's because it will take nine or ten years? How many think it's because of the idea of being married to Chamuco?

Mateo calls the house for Mili and talks to Lina. She gets busted by Alejandro, who takes the phone and says Milagros is out with her other boyfriend. Buh-bye.

Mili and Hugo are at Six Flags Mexico, playing games, winning giant teddy bears, eating cotton candy, going on rides, and terrorizing mimes. Yes, that's right, mimes. Bless the writers for this too, as there's no dialogue.

Karla and Constancio and Karla and Luciana now have another set of parallel conversations, thusly:

Karla: I'm afraid your spouse has found the thingy.
Blackmailee: Oh, crap!
Karla: Never fear, we can fix this…for a price! Give me a raise and more cash than you originally offered.
Blackmailee: I'm listening.
Karla: I'll get your thingy back and then your spouse will have no proof.
Blackmailee: Ooh, good plan! Get my thingy back and I'll double your salary! **Constancio: Oh, and if you could get those compromising photos back, that would be cool too.
Karla: Double my salary AND my mom's and we're in business.
Blackmailee: Fine, whatever. **Constancio: If you don't come through, you and your mom are outta here!

I wonder how long she can keep this going before each one finds out the other doesn't know a thing?

Mili, Hugo, and the bear--let's call him Señor Snugglypants--are home and goofing around in the living room. Mili had a great day and admits she missed her buddy Hugo. Constancio comes in and asks about Señor Snugglypants. Constancio asks Mili to have dinner with the family. She doesn't want to and gets in a dig about Horacio and Rocky being gone. Hugo then asks Mili to have dinner with the family and talks her into it--"But only today and only because you asked." Hugo goes upstairs to change. Constancio, in a fit of plot contrivance, practically rips Señor Snugglypants out of Mili's arms insisting that he help her carry her new boy toy upstairs. Mili's medal gets ripped off her wrist in the process. Constancio doesn't own up to it, so Mili tells the story about her mom putting it on her before she died, etc. That doesn't get him admitting anything, so she asks why he cares so much about her past. He makes excuses about the stuff he'd found out before and mentions that she used to be happy that he took an interest. Mili asks if he thinks her mom was pretty and he answers "Beautiful, like you. And oh, by the way, you're my daughter." Except he didn't say the last part of that, which is why Mili doesn't accept his offer of having the chain fixed. She runs upstairs. Constancio calls Padre Manuel and asks him to come over ASAP.

Señor Snugglypants gets tossed on Regina's bed as Mili cries to Lina that "he" saw "it" and didn’t say anything and is a coward for keeping "his" mouth shut. Lina mentions that Mateo's been calling all day and that Alejandro took the phone and told him Mili was out with her "other" boyfriend. Mili then tries to claim she and Hugo are "just friends," but Lina's not buying it, cause friends don't give each other presents like Señor Snugglypants.

Luciana and Constancio spend a tense few moments having a conversation in which neither of them has anything to say to the other about anything. Then Valeria comes in, pouting, and apologizes for her crazy spell, saying she's soooo over that nasty chauffeur, like, totally. Her parents are forgiving and fight over who's going to hug her. Constancio says they "all" make mistakes, right? Valeria then says she feels really bad for getting that miserable chauffeur and the gardener fired and couldn’t they be hired back. Constancio says they're never setting foot in his house again. Luciana agrees with Constancio (quick, look for the four horsemen!). Constancio offers to hire a new chauffeur--preferably one who's married this time--but Valeria insists she can drive herself. Luciana, "You don't know how to drive." Valeria: "Morgan taught me…he taught me *sob* so many things!" She runs out of the room and Luciana and Constancio agree that she's still "encaprichada," she still has a crush.

Rocky and Horacio are getting settled into their new place. Rocky is ok with spending money to make the place comfortable, but he's obsessed with continuing to make more money so he can marry Valeria.

Luciana calls Bim and Bo in for a conference about Valeria. The two girls are not shocked to hear about her involvement with Rocky, but they are surprised that Valeria is insisting it's luuuuuurve.

Up in her bedroom, Valeria has at least finally taken a shower and is moping around in a bathrobe, slippers, and towel turban. Bim and Bo come in and offer their condolences about Regina. They sneer at Valeria's suggestion to go to the Rodeo, since she's going to look for "him." The bottom line is, they don't want to be friends until she gets back to her usual Snobby Spice self.

Valeria goes to visit Mili, who's surprised that Valeria isn't calling her nasty names. Valeria and Mili talk a little about Regina and her things and Valeria thanks Mili for making Regina happy. She jokes that Mili's her aunt now since Regina adopted her, but she says she finds it easier to think of Mili as a sister. Mili is thrilled. Valeria asks if Mili will come with her to the Rodeo tonight--she's desperate to see Rocky. Mili wants to know if Rocky's just the flavor of the week, but Valeria insists he's the love of her life. Mili, like any self-respecting older sister, suggests they sneak out after dinner. What can I say, folks, it's a time-honored tradition.

Karla is in the kitchen, complaining to Socorro, Gloria, and Lina about how Mili was with Alejandro, and them Mateo, and now she's with Hugo. Really she's just pissed off that Mili won't leave some available rich men for her. And hey, it's not for lack of trying. Socorro tells her to shut it and go serve the soup. Show of hands--Who thinks they know where this is headed?

So, at the table are Constancio, Luciana, Alejandro, Florencia, Damian, Hugo, Mili, and Valeria. Damian says some nice things about missing Regina, except that we all know he's full of it. Luciana gripes at Karla and Lina for taking so long to get there and serve the soup. Damian is surprised that the chauffeur got fired. Luciana tries to blame it on incompetence, which Valeria disagrees was the reason. Luciana says she does everything for her kids, so that lets Alejandro get in a "Oh, yeah, that's why you gave your shares to Hugo." Constancio thanks Mili for having dinner with them and says she shouldn't eat with the servants. Luciana complains about Mili being there and Luciana not being used to seeing her there. Florencia brings up Mili being her servant for a few days and not being very good at it. Mili's getting madder and madder. Luciana says the reason Mili did such a crappy job is that Florencia didn't have men around for her to, uh, service. Ouch! Hugo stands up for Mili, as does Damian (for whatever that's worth!). Constancio brings up Mili's inheritance again as a reason Damian wants Mili for a daughter-in-law. Everybody brings up Mili's two almost-marriages, which upsets Florencia. Alejandro says that if you want to marry Mili you have to tie her down, since she's making leaving men at the altar a habit. Karla ladles soup into Mili's lap, which starts a fight. Hugo and Constancio pull the two of them apart. Luciana says "once a servant, always a servant" and says Milagros doesn't know how to behave. Mili takes the soup from Lina and says, as many a three-year-old before her has said, "you're right, I don't know how to behave," then dumps the soup over Luciana's head. Lina gets the hell out of there, leaving the family gaping at Luciana. Damian offers her bread, which gets everyone laughing. She screeches at them and then leaves the room, Florencia hot on her heels. Oh, so that's how you're supposed to behave when soup is spilled on you?

Down at the Taco Naco, Horacio tells Rocky "Guess who showed up?" Out on the Rodeo dance floor, Mili and the Miliettes, plus little sister, walk across the floor. Horacio points Valeria out to Rocky. The two star-crossed lovers approach slowly:

Rocky: Chiquita, you shouldn't have come.
Valeria: I had to see you! I'm so bad without you!
Rocky: Does your dad know you're here?
Valeria: No. Why did you listen to him? Why didn't you fight for our luuurve?
Rocky: Because what he said was true. I don't have anything to offer you…not yet.
Valeria: For me, your love is enough.

The effects guys play with lighting and smoke as Valeria and Rocky kiss.

Back at Casa Belmonte, Constancio gripes out Padre Manuel for giving Mili back her medal. Padre Manuel figured it was safe since Regina was dead. Constancio is upset about the initials on the back, but Padre Manuel says Mili has those letters memorized, so what's the diff? Luciana comes in, ready to fight with Constancio about what Mili did. Padre Manuel says he'd like the opportunity to talk to both of them.

At the Taco Naco, Pedro tells Mili that Gay Night at the Rodeo is all set for next Saturday. Now all Mili has to do is get Braulio to show up. Pedro asks her to sing with the band tonight and Mili says it will be practice for next Saturday since she wants to sing and fill the place with luuuuurve vibes.

At one of the tables, Rocky keeps telling Valeria about how he wants to make money for her to have all the stuff she's used to and how he's going to work hard at the Taco Naco and the tire shop to make that happen. Valeria stumbles over the word "vulcanizadora" and asks what that's all about. Rocky tells her about Don Pepe and the little shop and so on. Valeria wants to see it. Like, now. And I think what she means by "see it" is "get hot and heavy on a pile of tires" and by "now" she means "before I rip your clothes of and throw you down on the dance floor." In looking up "vulcanizadora" I found this cute little article that others may also find amusing: http://www.playamayanews.com/living_in_mexico/what_is_a_vulcanizadora_anyway_.html

Socorro presents the kitchen for inspection before Braulio will let her out for the night. Braulio declines to go with her since that would leave Karla alone in the house and, well, you know how she is. Braulio asks her to say "hi" to Rocky and Horacio and to get his, uh, sister's dolls back for him. Alejandro runs in just then and Socorro despairs of being able to leave. Alejandro seems mildly surprised that the other gals are at the Rodeo tonight. Puh-leez, is he so dim that he couldn't have figured that out himself? Alejandro insists that Socorro can't go out there alone at night, so he'll just have to drive her. Mhm. Socorro accepts, but then again, how was she supposed to refuse?

Padre Manuel tells Luciana that Alejandro deserves to know who his daddy is. Luciana gets pissed off and since Padre Manuel won't leave, she leaves instead. Constancio wonders what's up, since he told PM that Alejandro's not his son under the seal of the confessional. PM says he didn't violate confidentiality, he heard about it from, erm, "someone else." Luciana? "Um, no someone else." Oops, now he's stuck having to figure out how to avoid telling Constancio about who told him.

Rocky shows Valeria how some of the vulcanizadora equipment is supposed to work. Dude, I don't think that's what she wanted to see. Valeria asks if the business has a name yet, but Rocky and Horacio haven't agreed on one. Rocky wants to name it after his dream, and the reason he's doing all this, and call it "Vulcanizadora Valeria." Valeria is flattered and kisses him for his trouble. Valeria has brought a picnic basket and Rocky wonders what's in it. A bottle of white wine, empanadas, and a stereo…"Does it remind you of anything?" Valeria asks, and reminds him about the time they were stranded out in the middle of nowhere. Rocky reminds her there was something else he wanted to do and Valeria says she wasn't ready then, but she's ready now. Bow, chicka bow, bow! "Thanks vulcanizadora man, but I don't have any way to pay you for fixing my flat tire." Oh, sorry, went somewhere else there for a minute…. Rocky offers to uncork the bottle of wine, but Valeria won't risk him falling asleep this time. More Bow, chicka bow, bow, ensues as Rocky and Valeria make sweet, sweet love among the tires.

Meanwhile, Mili's singing a love song at the Rodeo…a slow one this time. Socorro joins Horacio at a table. Smoochies. Mili wipes tears off her face as she sings. Alejandro comes up on stage and starts singing with her. Oh, hell, let me get the words in here:

(Mili) When they talk about love and hopes
And they offer you the sun and all the heavens
If you remember me, don't mention me
Because you'll feel good love
And if they want to know about your past
You'll have to tell a lie
Say you come from out there, from a strange world
And you don't know how to cry
And you don't understand love
And you've never loved
(Alejandro) Because where I'm going
I'll talk about your love
Like a golden dream
And I'll forget the anger
And I won't say that your love
Made me a miserable wretch
And if they want to know about my past
I'll have to tell another lie
I'll tell them I came from a strange world
And I don't know about the hurt
That triumphs over love
And I've never cried
(Mili) Because where I'm going
I'll talk about your love
Like a golden dream
And I'll forget the anger
And I won't say that your love
Made me a miserable wretch
(Both) And if they want to know about my past
I'll have to tell another lie
Say you come from out there, from a strange world
And you don't know how to cry
And you don't understand love
And you've never loved

Oh, kill me now. What are we going to do with these kids.

Speaking of…Padre Manuel is refusing to answer and saying that Mili and Alejandro need to know the truth and isn't Constancio tired of living a lie. He says he's not surprised Constancio wants to be a politician since the lying thing comes so easily to him and heck, he'd even get paid to lie! Constancio orders him out. Padre Manuel says Constancio's just like Luciana…he'd rather throw Padre Manuel out than confront the truth. PM says he's living in a sand castle and sooner or later, that wave's gonna come and send them all to hell. Constancio says he's going to keep sending checks to the diocese, but he wants Padre Manuel to stay out of Casa Belmonte. PM tries again to say that Mili and Alejandro need to know who their dads are. Constancio says that Alejandro's dad is dead, but PM begs to differ. Constancio is impactado.

Tomorrow: Alejandro rejects Luciana some more and says she's why he's leaving the country. And probably some more dirty dealings.

Labels: guapos