Caray, Caray!

Valeria nurses Rocky's wounds and he does the classic flinching from the antibiotic. Valeria and Rocky recreate the scene from Indiana Jones (it hurts here…and here…). Rocky finally tells her that it wasn't a carjacking, but Valeria already figured it out. She has to break it to him that it was her mom, not her dad. Andrea has covered her ample bottom by blaming it on Karla. Valeria is sick of Mommy Dearest and wants her to leave the house with Nestor.

Luciana drinks and gets familiar with the backside of the Mili & Rosario painting. Andrea comes downstairs and gets in some digs about Luci's drinking and Constancio not thinking about Rosario when he's with Andrea. Luciana's not buying that last part, though. She tells Andrea the painting is there to remind Constancio of Rosario every day. She says if Constancio never loved her, it's because he liked low-class girls like Rosario and Andrea. They start getting into an Alpha Female fight again, but Luciana goes upstairs.

Valeria comes in and tells Andrea she was right, Luciana had some guys beat up Rocky. Andrea pretends to care. Poor Valeria is upset and doesn't know what to do about mommy. Andrea suggests they act like they learned their lesson and keep the relationship secret…er, a better secret than it already was.

Mili laments that Rocky won't be able to play fútbol all banged up the way he is. Rocky laments that Valeria won't be able to watch him plan…oh, and that her daddy won't let them be together. Mili feels for them, not being able to be together, even though they luuuuurve each other. Rocky tells her she still loves Alejandro. Mili tells Rocky he's like a brother to her. He goes to hug her, but aggravates one of his injuries.

At the ultrasound, we discover that Florencia's baby has five heads and three tails and will soon rip its way out of her womb like that thing from Alien. Or so I wish. Speaking of wishes, Alejandro imagines it's Mili there with her fake pregnancy belly hanging out and covered with ultrasound goop. Really, the things that turn this guy on. He tells Mili he's super duper happy and then kisses the belly. Then he kisses Mili, but she turns back into Florencia…he looks a little surprised and disgusted as this. Dude, don't make me get out my DSM-IV-TR…BSC is not a recognized diagnosis.

That money grubbing ho is out shopping for jewelry. Karla, I mean, not one of the others. She tries to bargain with the guy at the jewelry counter, but he's not having it. Frat Boy Fernando comes up and offers to buy the necklace for her, since he likes pleasing spoiled brats…er, pretty ladies, or whatever. He puts the necklace on Karla, stroking her ear in the process. Then he walks off. Karla grabs her shopping bags and chases him. She recognizes him as Mat the Rat's friend. He starts to say he recognizes her as the maid, but she says she was Luciana's personal assistant. He says it's too bad she's getting married and no, he's not dating Lina. He tells her she's way more of a woman than Lina. She wants to thank him for the necklace and invites him to sex. I mean coffee...right...coffee. She'll probably invite him to sex later.

Alejandro and Florencia come home and Alejandro nags her about taking better care of herself, like the doctor said. Florencia threatens him some more about what will happen if she busts him with Mili again, then she gets all excited about their trip, which the doctor approved of. Mili comes in while they're hugging, allowing Florencia to give her a smirk behind Alejandro's back.

Florencia and Marisela have a Mafia Princess Board Meeting. Marisela announces that Alejandro won't be managing her money--Mat the Rat will. Florencia is surprised.

Mili and Lina work on putting together a puzzle up in Mili's room. They pout that Gloria won't be at the fútbol match since she's feeling so sick and all. Mili gives Lina a hard time about being there for Bobby and not for her. Hugo comes in all mopey and asks Lina to give him a moment alone with the little missus. Mili looks guilty and asks if he's still mad. He says he trusts her, but he did get jealous. Mili says she tried to stay away from Al, but, you know. Then she gets all offended that Hugo doesn't believe her. She wants to know what to do so he'll feel better. Hugo grabs her under the chin from behind and says he wants her to be "his." Oh, yeah, that coupled with the headlock he's got her in and the rubbing up against her…no, not threatening at all. Mili breaks away and says he's scaring her. Hugo invokes his marital "rights" and suggests maybe it's what Mili needs to forget about Alejandro.

Alejandro walks down the hallway hearing Florencia's voice telling him that it all depends on him staying away from Mili. Of course, he hears Mili yelling "no Hugo!" and goes running to their room. He screams "Let her go" but Mili had already taken care of matters with a well placed kick. Alejandro gets to gloat for a few seconds before leaving the room again. He laughs out in the hallway and says "that's my Carlitos!"

Hugo asks Mili why she did it. I think that's going to win the stupid question award for the evening. Mili reminds him he made her a promise and he's got to keep it. She calls him on the drinking and he asks her to forgive him. She demands he go take a cold shower or she won't let him back in the room. She shoves him into the bathroom.

Bobby and Lina have a moment out on the tennis court. Bobby's trying to convince her she's the prettiest girl he knows. She's not buying it. He tells her it's what's inside that counts and really, she's the prettiest. They make plans to meet at the fútbol match and Bobby invites her out on a date after…he wants to be alone, without anyone else. He moves in for a kiss, but Lina pushes him away and says they won't go to his apartment. He agrees and suggests wine…before that gets settled Alejandro comes up asking if Bobby's ready to lose. Lina decides to stay and watch them. Bobby comments that Alejandro's looking pretty happy and he says it's because he doesn't have to watch Mili and Hugo anymore. Bobby takes his place on the other side of the net and calls to Lina that he's dedicating his "star" serve to her…Alejandro jokes that it's his "star" ("estrella") because he always crashes it (estrellar) into the net. Ja ja ja…puns just aren't as funny when they have to be explained.

Karla drools over Frat Boy as they have dessert and coffee. Meaningless seductive chatter--"You're so hot" "I'm getting married." Frat Boy tries to take his leave, but Karla thought bubbles that she can't let him go--she doesn't have much singlehood left. Frat Boy says he just can't today, but he leaves her his card so she can call him…"Fernando, Gigolo Extraordinaire, $199.99 for the first hour, $50 for each additional hour, call 555-SKANK, email fernando@skankboiz.com" Karla drools over him some more after he leaves.

Rocky breaks it to Socorro that this happened because Karla busted them and ran to Luciana to gossip. Socorro wants to go have words with Karla, but Rocky tells her not to. Horacio tells him he'll have to learn to live under threat of death. Rocky swears nothing will separate him from Valeria.

Hugo returns from his cold shower. Mili is sitting up in bed, but won't talk to him. He asks her to forgive him again and has a bit of pain as he gets into bed. She asks him to forgive her too, but says she's not ready. Hugo says that sometimes he can't control his jealousy of Alejandro. He tells her it won't happen again and she's right. He says he'll keep his promise, but she also has to keep hers and not cheat on him. Mili agrees. Hugo says he'll give her all the time she needs, as long as it's not too long. He rests his head on her chest and gives a look to the camera that makes me think he's had a full-on BSC relapse.

Luciana and Nestor sit in the living room reading and making kissy faces at each other. Upstairs, Constancio and Andrea play Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf a little too loudly for Luciana's taste. There's more vying for Alpha status. Andrea goes upstairs as Constancio goes to the kitchen for a snack. Andrea calls down to him not to forget the whipped cream…ugh! Gross! I'll have to wash my brain out now, thanks. Nestor tells Luciana he's getting tired of her fights with Andrea. He goes upstairs and Luciana says she'll join him once she shags Constancio again…only she says "once I finish reading this article." She snags Constancio and drags him into the study, complete with apple and can of whipped cream…seriously? Whipped cream out of a can? I mean, it's fine for me, but wouldn't the Belmonte's think that's just too naco? They insult each other and snog some more. Luciana asks for the favor of taking down Mili's painting. Awww, the fun's over for Constancio now. He reminds her they said they wouldn't be together again and goes to leave, but Luciana stops him.

Valeria sneaks into Rocky's room in the dark and sits on his bed. She remembers telling Regina that she's in love and it's impossible and crazy. She remembers Regina being happy to find out that she was in love with Rocky and telling her it doesn't matter what the world says and to fight for her feelings and be true to herself. Valeria sneaks back out as Rocky sleeps on.

Mili sits in the kitchen eating dinner and a little to excitedly says to someone that she's all hyped about the big game. She can't wait to kick the ball. Oh, she's telling this to Hugo. Yeah, I don't think he can think about her playing fútbol quite the same way again. He asks if Alejandro's going to be there. Well, duh, he's the goalie numbnu--uh, never mind. Mili doesn't know. She reminds Hugo he's their best defender and they're sure to win. Hugo says he's going off to paint and will probably be at it all night. He gets a glass of iced tea, kisses Mili goodbye and leaves. Karla comes in with her usual attitude and spits a bunch of venom in response to Mili asking "where have you been?" Mili slaps her a good one and says not to get into it with her. Karla swears she'll be sorry. What. Ever.

Hugo sits in the living room flipping through a magazine. I wonder if it's that Vanidades that Luciana was flipping through earlier. Alejandro comes in and, talk about rubbing salt on the wound, says "Mili kicks hard, doesn't she? She kicked me like that once too." I almost think the implication there is "I kissed her first, I got kicked in the nads by her first, and I'm going to sleep with her first, too, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah." Alejandro laughs thinking about Mili kicking him, pulling his hair, and dumping a drink on him. Hugo says "and she fell in love with you. I guess I still need her to dump a drink on me and pull my hair, but I'm on the right track, replacing all the moments she had with you, don't you think?" Hugo reminds Alejandro that he's patient and goes upstairs. Alejandro meets Florencia coming back from the Mafia Princess Board Meeting. She suggests they go upstairs and talk…probably because he must stink from playing tennis and she wants him to shower first. They go upstairs as Braulio, who let Florencia in, vamps the pose on the cover of Vanidades. He once again busts Luciana and Constancio post-gross-coitus. Constancio asks Braulio for the favor of taking the whipped cream back to the kitchen. Braulio puts two and gross together and raises his eyebrows looking at the can of whipped cream. Dude, do NOT put that back in the fridge!

The Naca Princesses are also having a board meeting up in the bunker. Lina explains to Mili that guys like sex. And here I thought Sor Cachete covered that. Did she somehow miss the "When a guy marries you and swears he loves you it's only because he wants to do the nasty with you" lecture? Seriously, if she wasn't prepared to have sex with him, then why bother marrying him? Mili does remember Sor Cachete saying the first time should be with a guy you love, which is her justification for waiting to have sex with Hugo--she doesn't love him yet. OK, again, did Sor Cachete not give them the lecture on not marrying someone you don't love and wouldn't at least be willing to have hawt loveless sex with? Sor Cachete's really falling down on the job here. Karla comes in, being as pleasant as usual, pleasantries are exchanged, and Mili leaves. Lina tells Karla to be nice, Gloria needs to rest because of her stomachache. Karla blames it on kissing Chamuco and Gloria returns with "it's better than being like a pizza that gets delivered to anyone inside of 30 minutes, if you know what I mean." There's more talk about Gloria having waited for sex and Gloria having that look on her face that says it's not true.

Upstairs in Alejandro and Florencia's bedroom, Florencia has gotten into her red silk ninja pj's, but Alejandro hasn't showered yet. Maybe he thinks eau de tennis will keep Florencia off him…but the giant fake pregnancy belly should be doing that well enough on its own. Florencia tells him that Marisela doesn't want him to manage the company. Alejandro asks what Florencia wants to do. She doesn't exactly answer, but says they need to agree on some solution. Alejandro asks if Marisela wants Mateo in charge. Florencia says that as long as she can't trust Alejandro to stay away from Mili, she's prepared to let Mateo be President of MafiaCorp and also let him manage her money. Alejandro tells her she's in no position to threaten him. He says it's not his problem if they decide to trust Mat the Rat. Florencia gripes about all the hurt Milagros has done and how she wants revenge, but Alejandro says she's the one hurting herself by not acknowledging the truth of the situation. I'm not even going to ponder which of the many truths he means.

Once again, Constancio isn't in the mood for sex with Andrea. Andrea wants to play, though. Constancio tries to beg off, but Andrea suggests they play that she's Rosario for tonight. That freaks Constancio out, but good, and he screams at her that she'd better never say that name again. Wow, Andrea's radar must be way off if she thought Constancio was going to go for that. She'd better just pack up her toys and go home. He screams that she dirties Rosario's name by saying it and she'd better not do it again. Now Andrea pressures him to take the painting down. He basically says "shut up about it or I'm breaking up with you." Andrea looks like it just sunk in that Luciana was right about Constancio's luuuurve for Rosario (even if he never did have the cojones to stand up for it).

Nestor isn't making any demands on Luciana tonight. She's awake, remembering Constancio weeping over Regina's coffin that Mili is the daughter of the only woman he ever loved. Luciana curses Rosario. I have no advance knowledge of anything, but just like Domingo's oddly long goodbye to his daughters, these back-to-back scenes feel like big heavy anvils to me.

Bobby wakes up to a knock on his door. It's Marisela and he's not happy to see her. She says she's sorry, she couldn't sleep, and she thought about it a long time before coming over. Bobby grins and says she probably should have thought about it some more. Aw, that's sweet, he's insulting her, but in a completely good-natured way. Marisela says it's urgent and she didn't want to call him. Bobby finally lets her in and asks what it's about since as far as he's concerned, they're over. He wakes up when she says it's not about them, it's about Alejandro. He's impactado as we leave the scene.

A shadow with a knife falls over the painting of Mili and Rosario. The butcher knife descends on the painting and starts cutting it to ribbons. Now we must speculate on who done it.

Monday: Mili overhears Alejandro talking to her cuate Jesús about his luuuurve for her. And the whole Belmonte house is in uproar over the, uh, defaced painting. Everyone accuses everyone else.

Labels: guapos