Caray, Caray!

Alternate titles – “I am Spartacus”

“Gentlemen Don’t Steal Kisses and Tell”

“A Man’s Got his Patience and Here’s Where Mine Ends.”

That last one is a shout out to George Michael from way back in the 90s (or was that the late 80s?). Margarita here, for NinaK (sorry if I got you and 5ft confused!) Feel free to retag this puppy if I did it wrong, again.

This one had some funny interruptions (nice levity to the icky situations) and some fun little sayings.

Leftovers:
Karla giddily skips chanting “I’m getting married” and overhears Val & Rocky as they go to knock boots in his boudoir. On her way to spilling the chisme about the “cuchiplacheo” (no clue what this means, but I’m guessing it’s something about being “in flagrant”) she spots Andrea who tells her to wait so she can find a way to get more mileage out of this.

Over at a fancy restaurant, Mili jokes about the fish “a la talla” (to the size) asking what size it is. Flo humors her telling her it’s cooked in charcoal and “zarandeado” (shook, jostled). Mili says “sounds good, just don’t jostle mine too much.” Hugo laughs at her joke and Flo thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to drop the bombshell of catching Al and Mili kissing. On to the new stuff: Flo tells them to get a room, etc, while Al tells her not to make the scene. No offense, but he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Flo then turns on Hugo saying "I don't know how much of a man you are, but you should control your little woman. If you can't please her yourself, don't send her to my husband to finish the job!" Oh snap! Hugo tells her not to get in with him and Mili begs him to go home, she’ll explain everything there. They leave and now Al demands he and Flo do the same. He thankfully has the decency to drop some cash on the table for the food they’re no longer eating, but that they are probably already making. One must remember good restaurant etiquette.

When we last left our skank heroines, Andrea explains to Karla that the instant gratification of telling Luci her kid is boinking the chauffeur won’t do much in the long run. Patience grasshopper.

In her bedroom, Luci and Damian discuss his newest plan to get rid of Karla. Luci has gotten bored with torturing him (though she throws in a jab about mixing with those of an inferior level) so she agrees to give him the money for his scheme ‘cause she can’t have some lowly employee attached to the Arango name.

Karla’s still beating the dead horse saying that if Luci catches Val with Rocky he’ll get fired for sure. Andrea says she’ll take care of everything and tells her to scram. Karla exits with a pissy “si señora.”

Over at the convent, all are toasting to Yolanda and Romulo’s happy nuptials. Gamuza says how happy he is that since dad found Yoli, he stopped drinking and now he has a mom ;) Gloria gives Romu a kiss on the cheek. She hasn’t forgiven him, but it’s a start.

Al is berating Flo for pretending she wanted to play nice so she could ambush everyone. She yells at Al for not wanting to make a scene at the restaurant but having no problem doing it on a public street. She warns him not to cheat again ‘cause he doesn’t know what she’s capable of. I wonder if she kept daddy’s “matones for hire” rolodex.” He tells her to shut up. The Hummer arrives and we are spared the rest of this tiff.

Over in a cab, Hugo asks Mili why she kissed Al. She confesses he kissed her. Liar! You kissed him back! But I digreess... She’s tried to keep him at arm's length and nothing has happened that she should be ashamed of. He trusts her. The cab driver interjects what he doesn’t trust is the traffic lights. They are like his “gorda” (term of endearment for a significant other meaning “chubby” or fat) who always gives him a green light, and then switches to a “stop.” Hugo tells him to let him speak to his wife. He turns to Mili and says he knows it’s all Al’s fault and that he’ll put a stop to this. Cabby says “no, put on your warning lights to avoid an accident.” Mili doesn’t want to cause a fight and Hugo says there’s no option. Mili’s his wife and Al has to respect her. Cabby congratulates him and Mili tells him to stop being a chismoso and start driving ‘cause the light turned green.

Over at Rocky’s room, he tells Val how he started a “cuenta” (account) at the bank where he saved his money from the Taco Naco, the tire shop, and the chauffeur gig. It’s not to say “¡qué bruto, qué barbaro!” (literally “how brute, how barbarous” – basically saying it’s not a HUGE deal) what a big account! But it should be enough for a little apartment when they marry. She says that is “lo que cuenta” (what counts). Ah, the romance of puns and catch phrases... He says it’s a shame Connie won’t be paying for the wedding reception, but Val explains that he will never keep his word and if he and Luci found out they would do anything in their power to split them up. Took her how many years to catch on?

Connie, Luci, Nestor and Damian wait in the dining room for Andrea to grace them with her presence. Luci tells Brau to serve dinner and Connie tells him to wait for Andrea. Nestor tries to bring the peace by smiling and asking Luci if they could wait just five more minutes, then punctuates this by playing footsie under the table. Luci says she can’t deny him anything when he asks so nicely. Damian warns Braulio not to slip on all the “melcocha” (thick concentrated honey) that’s being spread around. Luci says to Connie “you never waited for me dear.” Connie replies “it’s because I have a ferocious appetite dear.” Damian asks Nestor “How hungry are you dear, I mean, cuñado.” Nice little needle skipping on a record punctuates the already absurd situation. Nestor says he’s hungry but can wait another five minutes and gives Luci a look that tells her she’s dessert. Connie thanks Nestor for all his help in his political career. Damian says it’s great that at least in politics they share their ideology. We now see that Connie has also started playing footsie with Luci! She gets quite flustered and asks Brau if those five minutes have passed and he informs her they still have three.

Val and Rocky start getting busy as Andrea bursts in with the excuse of telling Rocky she wants him to drive her somewhere. She acts all fake impactada about how Connie’s gonna want to kill Rocky and Luci will be even worse. Val begs and pleads and Andrea makes a song and dance about how she always saw Val as a friend and wants her to be happy. She says she can see that Rocky makes Val happy and she’s going to help them. This is a great opportunity for them to smooth out their differences now that Andrea’s gonna be Val’s second mom. She leaves and they discuss whether or not they can trust her. Rocky thinks she’s not to trust, not after all the crap she pulled on Mili. He wants to fess up and in a worse case scenario, they can run away. Val fears Connie would find them no matter where they went.

Back at the kitchen, Socorro congratulates Gloria on her parents getting married. She says she’s happy for mom and bro. She apologizes and explains it was a small family thing and that’s why she couldn’t even invite Mili. Chamuco got to go ‘cause he’s her hubby apparent. Karla interjects that for her wedding she will invite everyone in the world, but not them ‘cause they’re not in it. Lina asks who she plans to invite when she doesn’t even have family save Soco ‘cause her step-sis ain’t coming. Gloria adds that perhaps she might get people to come if she offered them money. Brau interrupts the snap fest to tell them they’ll be serving dinner soon. Karla brags that her wedding is set for Sunday.

Andrea finally lands and apologizes for her delay. Luci snaps that she wasted her time if she was spending it doing her makeup. Andrea remarks that Luci always dines in frumpy clothing. Brau goes to get dinner ready and Nestor, for no apparent reason, volunteers that he has a long day tomorrow that includes dropping off some documents at the French embassy. Luci tells him to send Morgan. Lina and Karla arrive and Damian tells Karla she should sit with them. Karla offers to go change. But Luci tells her they’re not waiting any longer. Damian tells her just to take off her coif. Karla sits and immediately starts talking trash about Lina’s work.

Next morning Karla’s still bragging about her night at the grownup table to her mom. Soco’s not too convinced and is pretty sure Damian’s up to something. Karla accuses her of being a “mosca en la sopa” (fly in the soup). Val walks in asking for Rocky and Soco tells her he and Horacio went to drop off some papers for Nestor at Luci’s request. Why did it take two you ask? Wait and see... Soco then runs out ‘cause she left some tortillas on the fire. Karla starts busting Val’s chops about spending the night with Rocky. Val begs her not to tell and she tells her it’s too late ‘cause Luci already knows. When did that happen you ask? It didn’t!!!!

Mili and her chiclets are sitting in the garden and Mili’s happy that Gloria’s folks are married. Gloria says they’re not her parents, they’re her mom and some loser. Lina tells her to knock it off. Mili says Gamuza must be happy and Gloria agrees. Just then a very sad Hugo walks by and tells Mili he’s off to the office and will see her later. The girls ask what’s up and Mili tells them that Al kissed her and Flor caught them and told in front of Hugo. The girls are quite impactadas and then want all the details. Mili confesses that he makes her feel like she’s floating and in another world, but then she thinks of Hugo and feels terrible ‘cause she doesn’t want to betray him. Lina informs her that she might not be betraying him physically, but her thoughts sure are ‘cause she can’t forget Alex.

Over at Flo and Alex’s, Flo reminds him they’re seeing the OB in the afternoon. Al says nothing and she asks if he’s giving her the silent treatment. He tells her there’s nothing to say, so why waste saliva. Ouch! He tells her he’s off to work and will come get her later. Flo demands a goodbye kiss and he smiles, walks over, and gives her pregnant belly a kiss and tells the fetus that he loves her, “be good and don’t give mommy any grief.” Flor stops him on his way out the door and gives him a kiss on the lips. She then asks if he thinks of Mili every time she (Flo) kisses him. He smiles and says “and also when you don’t kiss me.”

Andrea’s in her and Connie’s room on the phone telling someone “he” is on his way to the embassy. He needs to stop him on some low traffic street and he knows what to do. If he does a good job she’ll pay extra. Now Val appears and is very worried ‘cause Karla told Luci about Rocky. She asks if Connie knows and Andrea assures her it’s unlikely ‘cause he would have told her something and he’d be pretty pissed. Andrea now appears to tie things together and says she heard Luci make a very suspicious phone call this morning. She fears Morgan may be in danger... That skank is an evil genius!

Rocky and Horacio are driving on a desolate street (the better to fall in Andrea’s trap my dear) and Horacio tells Rocky that maybe Andrea’s on the up and up about not telling. Maybe she’s trying to score points with Val since Connie loves her so much. Rocky says Andrea gives him a “mala espina” (literally a bad thorn, but it’s more like a bad feeling) and Horacio tells him that Andrea’s interests have changed and now that she’s going to marry the “mero mero” (the main guy), it behooves her to have his lil’ girl on her side. It also behooves Rocky to have the “mera mera” of the FIL on his side. Rocky’s not so sure and doesn’t think any good can come from lying and hiding his love. Horacio thinks it’s a good idea to stay in hiding ‘cause the patrones probably won’t pardon his life again. On cue, two other cars come out of nowhere and appear on either side of theirs. Four guys jump out with guns and tell them to get out of the car.

Over at the Belmonte office, Hugo tells Al to keep his hands off his woman. Lothario Al says’s he’ll try, but he can’t be sure. He wants to be sincere and tells Hugo he hasn’t give up. Hugo tells him Mili belongs to him. As if???? Al replies that his heart, his soul, and his thoughts belong to Mili. You sure that’s your heart Al? Hugo can’t change that, and neither can he (Al). He knows Milis’ Hugo’s wife, but Al loves and desires her, and there are times when he loses his mind and lets impulse take over and that’s why he kissed her. The nerve of this guy! That’s also why he doesn’t think he can contain himself. Hugo takes a verbal stab and tells Al that when his wife is in bed with him, she doesn’t think about Al. Al parries and redirects with a “Please, I know from a very good source that you haven’t touched her.” Hugo tells him he’s wrong but it’s a pretty lost cause. Al tells him that Mili hasn’t given herself to Hugo because she still loves him, and if mom and her lies couldn’t destroy that love, neither can Hugo. Hugo tells Al that he’s not here to discuss Al’s love for Mili. Mili’s his wife and Al better stay away and stop accosting her or he’ll be sorry. Al tells him it’s out of his hands because he and Mili are like one. Hugo asks if Al wants to be her first. Al says no, I want to be the only one. Hugo goes to punch him, but Al blocks it. Poor Hugo, I think the crazy’s coming back...

When we last left our heroes, Hugo breaks free from Al’s grip and tells him his patience is running out. Mili wants nothing with Al and he should leave her alone. Al replies that if Mili didn’t love him she wouldn’t forget about the rest of the world like he does and she wouldn’t let him kiss her. Hugo asks if there was more than one and Al forgets that gentlemen don’t kiss and tell and replies that he provoked them all. Love doesn’t have rules. He’s fully aware that what he’s doing is wrong. Hugo calls him a cynic and Al says it’s because he and Mili were separated unjustly, and he’s sorry Hugo married a woman who doesn’t love him. Hugo reminds Al it was Al’s idea and he should respect Hugo’s marriage and respect Mili. She married him because she wanted nothing with Al and he should stop making her suffer. “Don’t do it for me, do it for her.” Hugo storms out and Al’s phone rings. It’s Flo, you know, his pregnant wife, asking him why he’s not home to take her to the OB!

Back at the desolate street, Horacio and Rocky decide they better do what the nice men with the guns want and get out of the car. Rocky offers the car keys and the main goon tells him someone gave him and his “cuadernos” (literally notebooks, but I think it’s supposed to be a pun for “compañeros,” or companions, like when Gloria referred to Hugo as Mili’s mariachi, really meaning “marido” or husband) a lot of dough to attack a guy named “Morgan.” In a moment out of “Spartacus,” both Rocky and Horacio take turns telling the matones that each of them is Morgan. The main goon says Morgan’s supposed to be the chauffeur and Rocky was behind the wheel, more hijinks ensue as Horacio claims Rocky’s his apprentice, etc. Rocky pulls out his license – “Ricardo Juárez, aka Rocky, aka Morgan.” Horacio says he can’t have two aliases and the main goon says he’s fed up and will just beat up both of them. Horacio’s saved by the wonders of camera phones, ‘cause another goon gets Rocky’s picture sent and now they know who’s who. One holds Horacio back while the rest beat up Rocky. Main goon tells him it’s so he’ll stay away from Valeria Belmonte. They finally leave and Horacio asks him if he’s ok and Morgan replies he now knows why they say love hurts.

Back at the mansion, Andrea tells Val to calm down. Val wants to confront mom and Andrea tells her to wait until they know what Luci’s up to. Val’s terrified that Karla will tell Connie like she told Luci. Andrea assures her she’ll take care of Karla. Val thanks her and Andrea says there’s no need. She knows what it’s like to fall in love with the “wrong man.” She lays it on thick saying she loves Connie with all her heart and that she tried to fight it but... Val bites and says sometimes you can’t win against your own heart.

Karla goes to see her chicken pimp and asks for some money to get clothes for the honeymoon. He tells her he’d rather she wore nothing. She likes his thinking but says she’d like to wear something nice to the beach and to dinner. She can’t go wearing a rag or her uniform. In case we all forgot, Karla purchased a rather extensive wardrobe back when she was blackmailing Connie, but I guess it’s all three years out of season. Anywhoo, she also plans to buy some red lencería (lingerie) ‘cause he likes her in it. He finally digs for his wallet and she grabs a bunch of cash out of it and tells him he’s awfully generous. He immediately calls frat boy Fernando so he can start putting the moves on Karla.

Connie’s in his office giving Mat the Rat the proof he needs to make Al look like an embezzler and other shady things. Mat is slightly taken aback with Connie’s handiwork and Connie admits he got inspired and the whole thing relaxed him, like therapy. Did he go too far? Mat says not to worry, it’s perfect. Connie reminds him Al can’t see the docs and Mat assures him he’ll destroy them once Mari sees them. Connie reminds him not to forget they have to split the pie (actually he says “pastel” – cake, but you get the point) ‘cause he can be a dangerous enemy. Mat assures him he doesn’t forget his friends.

Outside Casa Belmonte, Karla hails a cab and frat boy tails her in his bike.

Now at the servants’ table, Gloria’s not eating and Soco asks if she didn’t like the cake. Gloria replies it’s not the cake, it’s just that her tummy hurts. Are you all thinking what I’m thinking? Soco says she must be blocked and offers to make her an oregano tea, and now Gloria gets nauseous. Oh yeah, we see where this is headed... Mili echoes that it does sound pretty foul, but Soco assures them that it’s good. Val runs in asking if Rocky’s back ‘cause she’s worried about the delay. Soco tells her not to worry, “have some cake.” Just then Horacio comes in with Rocky and he starts telling them about the four guys with the guns. Rocky interrupts and says they were carjackers and Rocky tried to fight them back. Mili chastises him for doing so, let them take the car! Horacio corroborates saying Rocky likes to be a hero. Val takes Rocky to his room to nurse his wounds and Gloria goes to fetch the first aid kit. Soco puches Horacio on the shoulder for not helping Rocky and he says he tried, but Rocky wouldn’t let him. She and Lina decide it’s for the best that he didn’t get hurt.

Hugo broods in a bar over pint and remembers Mili telling him she would never betray him, then Al telling him that Mili let him kiss her, then Flo telling him he’s not man enough. He gulps his beer and doesn’t really like it. It doesn’t bode well when you drink things you don’t even enjoy the taste off...

Mat is at Mari’s pad bringing her the proof he promised. He makes her promise not to tell anyone, even Flo. It was a crime for him to get the info out of the office and he could get in some serious trouble, but he did it for her because he luuuuvs her. Mari is quite impactada over the audit info. Mat says that’s why Connie wanted to fire Al, but then decided to forgive him as long as Al gave the money back. Mari can’t believe Al would steal from his own family and Mat says Flo probably has no idea of the kind of man she married. He says it doesn’t mean that Al would do the same to her and Flo though... Think things calmly...

Friday: Mili tells Hugo she’s trying to stay away from Al, but he doesn’t look too convinced. Flo’s icky words echo in Hugo’s ears. Mili asks what she can do to convince him and he grabs her by the neck and tells her to consummate the marriage. It has the look of potential rape...

Labels: guapos

Permalink posted by Margarita Chilaquiles @ 3:09 AM