Caray, Caray!

From last night: Al calls himself an imbecile. Vasco absolutely refuses to talk to Sara's director of programming. She calls him an idiot.


Alonslow shows up at Lor's place to share his big news, Sara was boinking Chalo all along! Lor is justifiably insulted, duh, why didn't he believe her in the first place? Now she's not interested. She keeps waving her hands around and flashing her engagement ring. She admits it really hurt when he left but there's nothing more to say. He finally notices her big shiny ring as she wrings her hands. His stiff jaw tries to drop.

Sara attempts to insult Vasco into supporting the program. Generally this is not a good negotiating technique. Icky says there's nothing left to do because it's a lost cause. Sara is pissed but then gets a phone call from Alan and she acts sickeningly sweet.

Alonslow asks Lor if she loves Ernesto like she loved him. He's such an ass. She says it's a different love but now Ern is the love of her life. Slow asks forgiveness again and splits. Shoot, Lorena looks tortured.

Gladys brings the kids home which answers the question of where they were. I guess they get along better with their cousins when they're not living with them because Gladys says they were marvelous. Ern says his recipe for success is lots of discipline and lots of love. Gladys asks who is Lorena? Ern says his girlfriend, er his fiancee. Gladys is surprised, how things have changed with him.

Maru gets home and sees Lorena's engagement ring, lots of hugging and crying. Maru wants to make the cake.

Sara meets up with Alan, her boobs are all over the place. She says there's a small problem, her business can't sponsor the show, will he be the patron? He says he can't because he's got other things going on. He caresses her shoulder.

Lor tells Maruja that Ern trusts her and there have never been lies between them. This is Telenovela doomspeak meaning that some lies are about to pop up.

Old Alan caresses Sara and she nuzzles his neck. His phone rings and afterward he tells Sara that his wife thinks she's number one. Slimy Sara slithers toward him and tells him she'd like to be his number one, but first he has to be the patron of her program.

Torbi is logged onto mx.match.com and wants to meet Solecito. He slams the laptop shut when Slow gets home. He pretends to be reading the headlines, something about a big bust on some forging operation, among the documents were those having to do with an orphanage. The lightbulb goes on in Al's dim attic.

The happy Dario family is shopping or something when suddenly Jaqui and Icky show up. Pau and Jaqui have a snark-off, Paula wins and Jaqui goes ballistic. Icky has to drag her out. Gotta rewind on that one.

Toribio and Al bitch about Sara who tried anything to get Al away from Lorena. Alonslow suspects that something is seriously up with Sara, worse even than anyone thought. He thinks he might know why she doesn't really love her "parents". He's going to San Martin to investigate. "Lorena's village?" asks Torbi.

Post coital Chalo, wearing his tiny bikini undies, is unhappy that Barb hides their relationship from Vasco, she treats him like a leper or something. She asks him to have patience. He says he's sick of having patience, it's always the same for him. Eh, she says, the same? She suspects he's been with another married woman. He tells her not to change the subject, if she's ashamed of him maybe they should just end it.

Alone, Lorena admires her ring. Rosy comes into the bedroom and crabs until Lor shows her the carbon.

Bruto tosses and turns because his escuincle child is crying. He screams at it to shut up while Diana tries to calm it.

Zuly wakes up with a heart ache, headache and she can't breathe. At first I thought she was having a premonition of Diana's miserable night but I think it might be time for her bariatric surgery. Omar tries to calm her down with a cup of tea, then tells her maybe her weight is the problem. She admits she's had trouble climbing stairs.

Bruto and Diana fight about everything. He says he wants to be alone, they fight some more and the baby starts crying again. He screams at her to shut it up. He's such an asshat, of course he should help but since he refuses hasn't he at least heard of ear plugs? Not great but better than turning into a wife-beating child hater.

Next a.m. Maru has to tell Rossy something, she's going to get married. Jaime's divorce is about to be final and Rossy's father will never appear. What if he does show up, asks Rossy? That'll never happen says Maru, confirming that indeed he will, so sayeth Telenovela gospel.

Zuly tells Omar she's feeling better but she coughs pathetically and almost faints.

Ern gets the kids ready for school. Lorena shows up so that she and Ern can announce that they are engaged. Everyone is happy. For now.

Barb asks Vasco what was eating Sara yesterday, she was in a crummy mood. He says it's because he wouldn't sponsor her new show. Barb comments that's good because Sara doesn't have any talent.

Sara overhears and announces she does have talent! She whines that Vasco shouldn't talk behind her back. Fine then, I'll say it to your face, he exclaims. She says she loathes him. He tells her fine, leave, the door is plenty big for your ego to fit through. Vasco announces that NOTHING is hers and she'll be in the street. She slaps him and threatens him. After Sara leaves Barb warns him that Sara is capable of anything so be careful.

Sara stomps out in a snit and announces to chauffeur Chalo she's had it with those idiots and it's time to show them what she's made of. She offers to give Chalo half her inheritence if he kills Snorty.

Al is back at work and his new patient is Zuly. There is a bunch of medical speak but basically she has to have a lot of tests to prove she's overweight. Zuly asks how is her daughter and Al is all "I don't know we broke up months ago". Zuly shares with him how Sara just wants to forget her poor family and have nada to do with them. He says Well what do you expect, I dropped her off at your house so she could ask your pardon and you refused to forgive her. Zully says Duh, that's an absolute lie, I would never have done that, how could you even think it? He knows he's been had.

Chalo tells Sara he's not on the killer team anymore and admits it's because he wants Barb to be proud of him. She tells him Barb will never forgive him if Sara tells her he almost killed Vasco. Anyway, Snorty is practically dead already. She dangles boinkage in front of him to try to bend him to her will. He bites his lip.

Chalo storms into Barb's room. "Barbara" he says loudly, but then sees Vasco there, busted! Vasco gets kind of snotty and shoos Chalo out. He wonders why the chauffeur is coming into his mami's room and calling her by name. Barb makes some lame excuse and heaves a big sigh of relief when Vasco leaves.

Lor brings a baby gift to Diana, a precious blankie. Later they coo over the baby and Diana tells Lor she has a picture of Zuly as a child and the baby's eyes are just like hers. I guess Zuly has very distinctive eyes, so distinctive they can be seen in all her female progeny.

Chalo's pride takes over and he goes back to Barb's room, he says Vasco thinks he's a poor ignorant. They bicker. She tells him she loves him and they go into a lip-lock. Vasco walks in, sees them and is cara impactada going into commercial.

Barb admits to Vasco that she and Chalo are in love. She's a free woman and Chalo, a good and noble guy (hack hack) makes her happy. Chalo protectively hugs Barb and tells them they need to talk so he leaves. Vasco's not happy, says Chalo is an imbecile and a chauffeur. Barb is surprised that Vasco has turned into such a clasista.

Maru and Jaime are in love, two more ads (trying to locate her husband) and she's free. Maru admits that Rossy, Omar and zuly aren't happy about them, but she'll defend his love to the end.

Barb tells Vasco she feels alive thanks to Chalo. Vasco rips on her but she doesn't back down. She's happier than ever before and Chalo has changed, he's a better person. He tells her she's fifty! (Aha, so we know her age now. Doesn't sound so old to me, heh heh) She tells him not to be like his granny, always ripping on people for liking to be with "improper" people. Barb deserves bad stuff but I kind of feel sorry for her. The hammer over her head is enormous.

Al catches Bruto asleep as his desk. Bruto complains that his baby kept him up all night. Al tells him that he's going away for a couple of days and can Bruto take care of giving Zuly her high blood pressure tests?

Diana lets it slip that between the baby crying and Bruto yelling she's absolutely exhausted. Lor is surprised, why was Bruto yelling? Didn't he want to take care of his baby? Lor suggests that Diana ask Zuly to come over to help. Diana sadly says that won't work, Bruto's privacy is sacred.

Sara is getting made up at the studio and meets some oddly over-wigged and over made-up lady, wife of Alan. I'm fascinated by her face. Do you remember Bruce Campbell's character in Escape from L.A.? The overly nipped and tucked Surgeon General of Beverly Hills? She kind of looks like that. She loves Sara's work, she's so talented! "Oh very" drools Alan.

Barb tells Chalo that Vasco didn't like the idea of them together but he's going to accept it. He tells her that what she did he'll record in his soul. They hug and make out. Chalo looks over her shoulder and hopes that he can forget everything that he was.

Sara's on the air with her first episode of "Cooking with Joy" (is that how it might be translated?). Alan's mujer says Sara's good people, she even invited Scare Hair to cook with her; she's certain that her being Alan's wife has nothing to do with it. Alan licks his chops and mutters "if you only knew".

Zuly sadly watches and Julian turns the program off. He tells her not to be a masochist and right now she should only be thinking of her health.

Greta, now at work and displaying her exemplary coffee-making skills, tells Omar his last name is familiar and asks if he knows Snortensia Armendariz. They figure out that he is Jaime's brother and even though he mentions his wife Greta asks herself if perhaps this is the millionaire that Conchita saw in her cards. She grins like a barracuda.

The cooking school administrator tells Lorena that the investigation found nothing out of the ordinary, Lor is an excellent student. She warns her not to do anything to stir up bad rumors and Lor promises to be discreet. Administrator (who used to be Jacaranda in Barrera, right?) tells Lor that there are some sort of classes in the Commercial Center (poor part of town?) where they are teaching cooking. They need a teacher, the pay isn't great but the work is good and she thought of Lor. Is she interested?

Al tells Tori that he leaves at dawn. He discovered something important, another one of Sara's lies, and he's going to San Martin to investigate her past. Tori announces that Al needs a partner and he's just the man of the job. They man-pound each other's arms and smile at their comraderie.

The ex-wives club plays cards. Maru announces that she wants to get married but there's a problem. No, it's not that Jaime's still married, Maru is the one who's not legally divorced.

Over at Casa Maruja the doorbell rings. Rossy answers and some middle-aged guy walks in. Que sorpresa, it's her real papa! We didn't have to wait more than one episode to see him, this show really seems to rush things along. She recognizes him immediately and gives him a hard time for abandoning them. He says he was confused, give papa a hug! She gives him the super stink eye instead.

Greta and Paula wonder what will happen if Mr. Maruja decides to show up after all these years? Greta volunteers to go to bat and treat his head like a baseball. Paula volunteers to help.

Mr. Maruja comments to Rosi (yes, the closed captions changed the spelling of her name) on their comfortable house, much nicer than when he was around. He supposes that Maruja wants to get married and that's why she placed an ad looking for him. Rosi tells him if he really loves her he can show it by refusing to give Maru a divorce. She doesn't want him to marry that guy Jaime. Mr. Maru yanks at his scraggly moustache as he considers his options.

Bright and early the next morning Al and his pa arrive at St. Martin. They ring up the nuns.

Lor shows up for her new job. She's gazing open-mouthed at something but we never see what it is. Whatever. Doña Beatriz welcomes her. She needs someone to teach the locals how to cook simple, nutritious and inexpensive food. They have good taste but cheap pockets. Lor says she knows something of that seeing as how she was raised in an orphanage.

Over at the nunnery Al and Tori find Madre Trinidad and try to pump her for info. OK, this is weird, she used to be a happy airhead and now suddenly she's the stern Mother Superior? OK, turns out she doesn't really like Al because he bad-mouthed Lorena in the past. Al says he was wrong about Lorena and that's why he's here. She says leave Lor in peace. He says they want to investigate Sara. MT says Sara's no white dove but she's no monster either. "Oh but she is," insists Torbi. Al tells her not only is Sara after her granny's money but he suspects something much more serious. He's there to find out about Sara's origins. (And yes, that dull statement was indeed the suspense-laden finale.)

Sorry, no previews for tomorrow, Tivo recorded Ugly Betty so it must be the new season!

Labels: enemiga