Caray, Caray!

Ordinarily on Fridays in DF I unleash the little hamster and let him roam freely following wherever his little rodential whims lead us. Sorry little fellow, thanks to the suits at Univision there will be no free-range aimless wandering about Mexico for us tonight. Nopis. It's up on that wheel with you and let's see if we can put some coherence to this mishmash of information we have in front of us this evening.

Part I, Brandon, We Need To Talk


Ilitia has prodded her own little hamster rewarding us with a... :

Flashback!

Brandon and Ilitia. It was good sex... but was it safe sex? Yikes!

"Five weeks you say? No, no, no! I'll die! No, no, no!" Sipis. It all adds up. A naco spermatozoan has found refuge in a supermodel ovum and even as we speak, a dark fetal poli is nestled safely in that warm pampered womb.

Fedra is shocked... shocked to find Alfredo in the massage room frolicking with Delicia, "Delicia, you slutlet! Wait'll I tell Axel." Poor Delicia is dismayed and flees. Fedra likes the cut of Alfredo's jib. She just might have a little job for him later.

*At the agency, Victoria rants. Anyone really care? Yes! This is an important scene as Vicky swoons. Soooo... looks like Ilitia is not the only one expecting the stork. Remember, you heard it first here, folks. Doris strokes and fans her. No doubt... embarazada.

Ready to film, but Jorge comes in and tosses verbal ice water on Andre, The lipstick people don't want Andre as a spokesperson.

*Losers. Alfredo and Lorena discuss Axel's upcoming nuptials. Lorena hopes they will be very happy together. Gretel joins them, exchanges unpleasantries with Lorena, then Al keeps Gretel from pouncing on her to rip her hair out by the roots.

Noticing that Gretel is a tasty morsel, he begins chatting her up. Hasn't seen around the campus lately. She tells him of her journalistic plans and he is almost as impressed with her plans as he is with her cleavage.

Doris speaks up in defense of him but he doesn't want her as his guardian angel. Jerk.
Andre is an angry young man... he almost knocks Eman down as he stalks off... Vicky takes the opportunity to carp at Emanuel a bit. Shouldn't he be at the gynecologist's with his wife?...next!

Gretel is all set to blow off Alfredo when a jealous Oliver strolls up. She takes the opportunity to needle Oliver by agreeing to meet Alfredo for dinner tonight and later perhaps they can go to a club. He calls her mamita which turns Olivers simmer up to boil. Alfredo splits. Gretel glowers. Oliver grovels. Gretel goes.

*Ilitia has come to visit mom. Problems . Muñeca admits that she's never been pregnant but is willing to listen.

*Eating grapes again, Eman consults with Benigno. This baby thing has botched things up between him and Victoria de la Garza. Well, yeah. But what about between her and the other? "Other?" "El Lirio de Plata.." Now I have no captions for this, but I'm willing to believe that Benigno has discovered a loophole.

*José Maria has arrived at the naco dorm, runs into Brandon. He offers Brandon a beer and tells him about his new job at la Buena Vida. Brandon's heard of it and knows the owner well. Emanuel Ruiz y de Teresa. Brandon thinks the place is a front for el Lirio de Plata. José M offers to keep hiseyes and ears open to suspicious activity for Brandon. "Who do you think is el Lirio de Plata, anyway?" Brandon tells him, " I don't have proof but am certain it is Emanuel Ruiz y de Teresa."

Ilitia comes clean with her mom, "You were right. The child I'm expecting is not Emanuel's. It's Brandon's.
A pouting Vicky is joined in her room by a hunky Lirio de Plato. I see she has maintained the Ruiz y de Teresa open door policy.

*José asks why Eman is the prime suspect. He tells him that Eman always seems to turn up at the scene of eLdP's crimes. Being the good cop that he is he pumps JM for information about eLdP. He tells Brandon that it was the name of a boat over twenty years ago. Brandon wants more but JM pleads ignorance. Brandon thinks the key may be why the boat was called el Lirio de Plata. José M thinks the more important question is why is a criminal now calling himself el Lirio de Plata? Brandon leaves without even taking the first sip of his beer. Cap'n Joe is apparently no mental giant, he wonders what it all must mean. Yep, that's Emanuel's daddy alright.

El Lirio de P wants to take Vicky someplace. Why not? She's trying to forget Emanuel, anyway. He promises that she'll be safe with him. Oh drat... she was hoping perhaps not.

*Muñeca suspected as much. Ilitia tells her that when Eman finds out hat she is five weeks along, he will suspect the truth. I'm not so sure. He doesn't strike me as being all that good with math. After all, he watched the ultrasound of a five week baby and never suspected anything amiss. I think she could pull this off. Muñeca tells Ilitia that she must tell Manny the truth.
*Delicia is abed and not feeling very well. Hasn't she learned by now that one must never eat anything prepared by Fedra?

Delicia is now asleep in her bed. The door opens and we see some familiar feet. Fedra has brought a guest. It's creepy Alfredo. Delicia's been drugged.

*Fedra tells Al to strip.

Ilitia is terrified that Emanuel will discover the truth. Muñeca tells her that the marriage is a shipwreck. Best to be truthful and move on. She reminds her that Brandon is the child's father and of how she felt when she discovered that Muñeca is not her birth mother. "You're right. I know what I have to do." ¿Que? Who is this girl and what has she done with our Ilitia?

How nice. Fedra has taken up photography and is taking snapshots of a gorked Delicia and a buff (and in the buff) Alfredo. This is low, even for you, Fedra. She has him bite her shoulder.

*OK, that' enough. She reaches into her blouse, pulls out a check and hands it to him. He'd like to stay on awhile. You creepy little ratbastard!

Meintras tanto, Leon has come by. Muñeca offers him a drink.

He's come by to invite Muñeca out for dinner. She declines. He understands, but by the way, what does she think about the ring he has brought for her?

Alfredo is alone with Delicia, but thank goodness an impatient Axel is home and is knocking at the door, "Delicia, what is happening? Open the door mi Amor." Creep Boy gets dressed.

Muñeca has already been married to a criminal. She doesn't want to go back down that road. Sorry Leon. Leon is truly smitten. He's ready to give himself up... turn his life around. Well that changes everything. Let's hear more.

*Brandon is freshly showered and strolling about the parlor chatting with his mom. She's worried about Doris. He reminds her that she spent two unsupervised years up north. That does not reassure Gladiola. Door's open, Ilitia glides in.

"Brandon, we need to talk."

El Lirio de Plata has brought Vicky to a hospital room where two boys are sleeping. They are at a convent that takes in orphans. These boys are sick and need help. He has brought her here to show her where the stolen money is going. She's impressed. The boys are glad to see him. El Lirio de Plata never forgets his friends and he has brought a garbage bag full of gifts for them to enjoy and share.

*Axel's in the kitchen complaining to Paula. He's worried about Dee... as well he might be. She reassures him telling him not to worry. Sure. She pats his cheek as

Axel runs into Alfredo as he comes out of... Delicia's room? (if you just watched the Univision version, that's the impression you'd have.) Actually he pops into the kitchen. Nevertheless, "What are you doing in my house, imbecile?"

Gladiola is not pleased. Ilitia says that it is urgent that she speak with Brandon. Brandon is none too pleased himself, but asks his mom to give them five minutes. Her tantrums (berrinches) don't take long. Gladiola tells him to cover himself up and reluctantly leaves them alone together.Ilitia wants to discuss the child that she is expecting.

A man of his word, Garduño calls Comisario Tejeda and tells him that he's ready to make a deal. "First thing tomorrow." Of course there are conditions, but Garduño thinks a judge will be interested. He's bringing names, dates, places... enough to dismantle the Organization. Tejeda is skeptical, but agrees. Muñeca is enthralled. Not only will she wait for him... she'll visit as often as allowed and will bring the Maratón board. OK, I added that last bit... but I'm sure she will.

He has another call to make. He calls Ordaz to tell him to prepare all the red book documents. He's going to turn himself in. Ordaz is not happy... and neither is Lorenzo who happens to be with the lawyer. Lorenzo says, "I told you so." He knows Muñeca. After all, he's been married to her for twenty years. Ordaz pomotes Lorenzo to Boss right then and there with only token reticence on Lo's part. He quickly takes charge, "Of course Gorduño's gotta die." Hey, that goes without saying.

Axel, poor dim child, still wants to know what Alfredo is doing in his house. "You've got two pretty sisters." Actually he came to help Kristel plan a fiesta at the club. Hey, works for me. Seems to work for Axel. Poor dim child.

Brandon, still wrapped in a towel around the waist (I wonder if he ever got around to exhaling while we were away?) asks Ilitia to leave. She still hasn't said what she came to say. He tells her to get to it then. Then, (and this surprised me) tearfully she tells him that she does not want this child. I. Am. Disappointed. In. Ilitia.

El Lirio de Claus distributes his gifts. He tells the boys that nobody should know that he's been here. The boys ask if Vicky is his novia. "I wish."

Part II, Hasta Nunca, Garduño... ¿Me Estás Siguiendo?
"No one who feels a love so special and so grand for the children can be criminal." Vicky beams with pride as el Lirio de Plata hands out gifts and bonds with the boys. I'm not so certain... Lorenzo appears to have boundless love for his children and yet he has just been promoted to Criminal # Uno. Nonetheless, it's refreshing to see Miss Bitterweed crack a wisp of a smile. The kid in the blue pajamas suggests that eLdP marry the pretty lady and take them to live with them. He gets an extra gift for this. Uh oh. The door opens and Ted Baxter pops in holding a flashlight. (I thought that he had died.) So much for our little secret visit. Ted calls for HELP!

Garduño is admiring the ring he bought for Muñeca when he is joined by the new Meester Big, Lo. Apparently the criminals don't lock their doors either. Julie, a nation is crying out for your lock franchise. Ordaz joins the party, "The two of us (los dos) have an important matter to straighten out (arreglar) with you." Garduño tells them that they are wasting their time if they think he can be persuaded to change his mind. Ordaz informs him that his associates are very unhappy with him and to emphasize the point goons with guns pour in from both sides. Garduño draws his own pistol and orders everyone out. It apparently not yet occurred to him that he is no longer Boss Baddy. Finally, Lo apprises him of the change in leadership. "You are history, Garduño."

Vicky's anxious to leave. ELdP suggests via the window. She wonders at his fixation with windows, but sure, "¡Vamonos!" The boys urge them to hurry but eLdP reassures them, "Don't worry, this isn't the first time that I've had to leave in a rush."

Garduño still doesn't see the big picture as he points out Lo's inadequacies for such a big job. He threatens to kill Lo, who urges him to go ahead, "Muñeca will never forgive you for killing the father of her children." "You just had to bring up Muñeca." Garduño is on the verge of tears. he hands over his pistol, "You want to direct the orchestra? Do it." Did this man not watch the Sopranos? Every single one of us knows what comes next. "Hasta nunca Leon Garduño." Lo plugs him right through the heart. He tells the goons to bring him Mauricio. He kneels and retrieves the ring from Garduño's lifeless hand.

*Jairo and Gretel have come to a club to have a beer. She's interested in becoming a journalist. He's interested in Gretel. Looks as though they are in La Buena Vida, but I'm not certain.

They get their beer. He moves in beside her and puts his arm around her. They sip the beer. Oliver arrives with Doris. Visual deathrays are exchanged across the room.

Brandon is still wrapped in a towel as he sits on the sofa and asks Ilitia why she doesn't want this baby. Before she can answer, her quickly acknowledges that he has nothing to do with the matter... it's between her and Eman. She pleads for him to listen to her.He tells her he's listening, but then complains about her choosing him to talk about such a thing because he's the cop, the gorilla, the brute, her garbage bin (bote de tu basura). "No, you're not a brute, Brandon, you're an idiot (tarado) and unfeeling. You don't know what's happening to me." He points out that she has everything that she ever wanted. She insists that she doesn't want this baby. "Don't say that. Life is sacred. It's not for you to decide if this baby is born or not." She tells him that it's her body and she doesn't want to have this baby." She storms out without telling him that he is the baby's father. I know that I shouldn't be surprised, but I honestly expected this one time, that she would tell him the whole truth of the matter.

*Emiliano and Tio Max commiserate over Eman's misfortune of having Ilitia get pregnant. Emiliano muses about how it's too bad that Manny's not in love with his wife, but he's not really sure who he loves because he's said that he was in love with Marianela and is now saying that he loves Victoria de la Garza. Flaunting TN rules, Max smugly gets right to the point. "Doesn't matter. She's the same woman." Your can almost picture Emiliano's little hamster struggling to provide sufficient power to process this. His face does a number of contortions, takes, and double takes. "Say what?"

Oliver complains that Doris drug him here to see this. She tells him that she had dated Jairo and though she never cared much for him, he always managed to steal a kiss. Gretel complains to Jairo of her disappointment in Oliver whom she thought was her perfect match. Jairo thinks that she should look elsewhere and to help head her in the right direction, kisses her forehead. Oliver goes beserk and leaves. Gretel whispers an unheard sad, "Goodbye, Oliver Rosales, para siempre." Yeah... sure... next!

*In la Mala Noche, la Reina de la Noche is announced. She dances in her new duds. As she does her chair dance, the newly crowned Meester Big oozes in leaving a slimy trail. Bernardo looks on... displeased.

*More Max and Emiliano. Emi thinks that it's unhealthy for Jorge to be hanging around since he's not Marianela's husband. He's also worried that she might kick them all out. Max doubts that. Max learns of Axel's wedding. In retrospect he should have followed his heart himself. He advises Emil to not lose Netty. He growls and snarls at the thought of Fedra.

La Reina de la Noche is in her dressing room with Bernardo. She has a new outfit... more revealing but even less flattering. Fedra, in the right clothes, you'd make a bulldog break his chain. However, for you sweetheart, less coverage is not necessarily better. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from Netty about dressing for work.

Bernardo's upset that Lorenzo is here. The Queen assures him that she did not invite him and has never even mentioned la Mala Noche to Lorenzo. They quarrel. Bernardo doesn't trust Lo. La Reina calls Bernardo a traitor. Fortunately Bernardo leaves as Lorenzo Menso enters. The two exchange pleasantries, each offering the other a free trip to Hell.

Vicky and eLdP must have found an open window because they're back in Vicky's room. Hey, she's smiling. She's glad that he took her along. She tells him that he's a lot like Emanuel. Well, duh! He wants to be her novio and lifts the mask to steal a kiss. I'm wondering why Mexico's mask makers don't make opening for the lips. Remember the trouble Furia Enmascarada (Gancho) had eating pozole with that mask on? With great timing Jorge arrives and is scandalized to see them kissing. He is clutching a dish to whack eLdP with, but thinks better of it, but he's really pithed.

Lo seems to have found out all about Juana Felipe Pérez. He tells her that her secret is safe, but she knows him better than that, "What do you want?" He reviews with her the ups and downs of their relationship over the years, '...including trying to kill each other, and here we are, no, we continue on together, Fedra, and our skin is much more sincere than all that could have said to each other." I'm lost with Fedra here... "¿Eh? What does our skin say? " He's just saying that they belong to each other and to seal the deal he offers her... the ring Garduño offered Muñeca. Classy. "you mean divorce Emiliano?" No need. That's Fedra Curiel. He's asking Juana Felipe Pérez to marry him. Say what?

Jorge jerks Vicky away from youknowho. They exchange insults. Vicky says that it's time for eLdP to go. He goes. A possessive Jorge asks Vicky if she's OK. Well he's miffed. First Brandon, now this guy... Jorge thought that he was next in the line of succession. It's not fair!

Dee's and Axel's wedding day. Gladiola is helping Letty convert the pension into a wedding chapel and they've done a darn good job. Doris is impressed. Maybe someday...

It'll happen she is assured with her all in white with a seven meter train. Gladiola adds that first she needs to give up on that guy. "You know whom I'm referring to." Andre, are your ears burning?

*Brandon is interviewing Ted at the convent, "With a woman you say?" The boys think she was his novia. Brandon takes a moment to explain to the boys that eLdP is no hero. Nopis, he's one of the bad guys. One of the boys remembers, "The lady's name is Victoria. Thanks, kid. Brandon muses aloud, "So Marianela was with him." "Victoria," Ted corrects. "Ummm, yeah, Victoria."

Delicia thanks Marianela for agreeing to be her madrina. Jorge offers his services as padrino. "Ummm, we' ve got some else in mind... thanks anyways, Jorge." The groom arrives with his sister, Gretel, and his dad, Emiliano. Emi clasps Netty's hands. She bats her eyelashes. Jorge is still concerned about the padrino and deflates when Emanuel enters and announces that he was chosen for that honor.

*Looks like Lo and Fedra have shared a nap on her red sofa. I wonder what would be revealed on that sofa under a UV light? She looks at his watch flees in a panic. .

Paula shows up. Oliver, too. Gretel asks why he hasn't brought one of his conquests. Axel, sensing trouble, asks her to cool it, at least for today. Netty thinks it's time for a toast.

*At la Buena Vida, Bernardo shows up . José Maria joins him for a drink. They chat, Fedra's hitman stands up and shoots at JM but Bernardo jumps up and takes a bullet in the arm for his Capitán.

Fedra is in a clothing shop and needs a knockout, in-your-face dress...now! She has a wedding to stop.

*Brandon arrives.

Here's the bride, all smiles, and a knockout smile. The service is underway.

Meintras tanto, Fedra is stuck in traffic.

*José Maria dresses Bernardo's wound. Bernardo warns JM against Fedra even as he defends her. JM wants to know what has become of the Bernardo he once knew. Then he accuses him of being in love with Fedra. We already knew that Cap'n... next!

Lots of intense meaningful glances. Emanuel and Marianela install the traditional lasso . Rings are exchanged.

Fedra's ready to explode. She abandons her car, telling the workmen to keep an eye on it (good luck with that), sets out on foot, and in one of the funniest visuals I've ever seen, drops out of sight over a precipice of an excavated sidewalk. The workman shrugs and delivers the best line of the episode, She fell! (¡Se cayó!)
En el nombre del Padre, del Hijo, y del Espiriyu Santo, los declaro marido y mujer."

Applausos. Beso. Fedra's here! She grabs a drink. She's got photos!


Double yikes!

But the kids are married.




Well, this has been an adventure. A technical glitch just as I was finishing delayed things for almost an hour. The little hamster is exhausted and has threatened to call the SPCA. A Pox on Univision. It's Millertime.

Carlos

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