Caray, Caray!

***This recap is now complete...for realz***

Cruz's heart is broken.

Pip finds out what Maria D knows about The Affair. She swears Linda's not bad, she's just confused. Or she's just drawn that way. Or something. Pip says it's all over when Vic finds out.

Oscar gives Vic the paperwork for the Miami trip along with some tickets, passports, etc. He noticed Maria D's has the last name "Expósito" (abandoned at birth) and Vic sorrowfully explains that's how it goes with orphans and it's why it's so difficult to locate lost children. She doesn't take the time to explain to him why she knows that. She does admit she's got problems with Os, but she thinks it's her fault for being chicken.

Fer goes back out of the house and sees that Cruz has left the rose sitting there. She looks around before sitting down next to it and remembering their last kiss. Geez, Fer. You're an idiot. She picks up the rose and smells it while a glycerine tear of puro dolor rolls down her cheek. She does this much better than her "snob" act.

Vic yells at Maria D for smacking Ximena around. If Maria D "disobeys" her again, she'll be fired. She won't make a move in Miami without Vic's permission. Maria doesn't verbally agree, but she doesn't disagree either.

Fabian tells Max he assumes Miami will be a Max and Maria pre-honeymoon. Max is like, "yeah, her, me, my mom, my crazy ex, and a whole crew." Fabian's not worried about it. He thinks Max should just sneak her away. Max finally tells him about Nathy's suicide attempt. Fabian runs right out of the office. There's another idiot.

Os keeps working on his song in his office. We see a picture of a younger Os playing guitar next to him. He remembers the argument with Vic over Fer dating Scuzzball. And calling her a smug, superior bitch. And Linda saying she's going to leave him because he won't make time for her and stands her up. And Gui telling him life is short and he's got a great opportunity for a young, willing love slave. Os thought bubbles, "Victoria…Linda." Idiot.

Part II

Bernarda likes Padilla's place, but she objects to the lack of any religious iconography. Padilla says it didn't come with the décor. Bernarda won't trust him if he doesn't hurry up and put up some statuary. She wants to pray over his place in the meantime. He really doesn't like the idea of either praying, or kneeling. "Prayer is joining with God." Padilla looks really, really uncomfortable. Like he's about to hurl. Or like he's just realized his loan shark is batshit. He looks up like he's looking for God up on the ceiling.

Linda is being nice to Nathy for now, bringing her tea. Fabian starts to ask her what happened, but Linda interrupts him, saying the doctor said not to ask her those questions or it might upset her. So he asks her out that night, but Linda says she can't. Nathy disagrees, puts on some new, smaller, pink glasses and insists she can go out with him. Fabian leaves and Linda jumps right to "You're not going to tell him, right?" Nathy asks, "Do you think I'm capable of betraying you the way you betrayed me?"Burn.

Vic tells Ximena that she pulled rank on Maria D. Ximena whines that it's not enough. As long as she works for Vic, she'll be stuck to Max. Vic says she thought Ximena was smarter than that. "If I fire her, Max will just go after her. I'll fire her when we get back from Miami." Oh, that makes sense. Ximena promises she'll be engaged to Max within a month. Vic says they can't take risks. Ximena needs to stick her hooks in Max no matter what it takes. Ximena feels faint and blames it on all the stress. Heh. It's a demon baby of Gui's isn't it?

Linda leaves her apartment and runs into Napo and Cruz. She mocks them and they give her crap because of Nathy. "Yeah, I feel bad about that." Napo asks if she's ready to quit playing with two men at once. Not that he cares about Os, but they're more worried about Juanjo. Linda says she'll break it off with Juanjo, but Cruz doesn't want Juanjo to suffer. Napo tells her she'd better find a way to not break Juanjo's heart or else. .."Like it or not, you're marrying him." Damn. It's the Naco Mafia!

Part III

Max pulls up at the fire house. He got a call from the comandante, but he doesn't know why. All the guys come running out to give Max a salute and officially thank him for saving Nathy. He gets awarded an honorary firemanship. It comes with a shiny helmet and a fanfare. Juanjo gives him a thumbs up. The guys break out to come slap Max on the back and throw him up in the air. I worry about him smacking someone on the head with his shiny helmet!

The new Amy-Wynn Pastor of the parish is teaching the guys about staining wood. Domingo leads the guys in a cheer for Lorena, including some mimed fireworks.

Osvaldo calls someone and asks for a favor. Vic will be in Miami and he'd like to go to the beach with Linda, so he needs someone to lie for him and say he's off filming…Gui, maybe? Os then calls Linda and invites her to a "honeymoon" on the beach. The maid overhears and gets pissed off, thinking Vic doesn't deserve to be cheated on.

Padilla comes to stink up Victoria's office some more. He reminds her of the night he raped her, so she takes his cigar and tells him to get out. Hello…security! Why are they giving just anyone a badge to get into this building? Padilla retrieves his cigar from the trashcan and gives her the message that if she doesn't leave Padre JP alone and forget about her daughter, she'll pay the price. Well, Vic has every intention of taking her daughter away from Burnie…as soon as she's back from Miami! Way to prioritize, there. Padilla says she'll be thrilled to see Vic and leaves.

Vic goes over to Bernarda's to tell Bernarda that she's ok with Maria M sleeping over at grandma's house because she has a "previous commitment" (point of order…isn't her commitment to her daughter previous to her commitment to do a show in Miami? Just checking) and also because she knows Bernarda has already started the brainwashing. Vic will come pick her up when the trip is over and in the meantime, she'd like Bernarda to not let her stay up too late, make sure she brushes her teeth, and don't let her eat too many sweets. Bernarda is like, F that! She won't want to go home with you 'cause I'm going to let her eat ice cream for breakfast! Vic pulls out the copy of the picture that Eva gave her and says if Bernarda doesn't hand over her daughter (after her very, very important Miami trip), Padre JP will find out what his mommy did to those poor people. Bernarda freaks out very quietly.

At the gym, Ximena is running and starts having trouble. She stops and a trainer comes over to help her sit down. That's the manliest butterfly tattoo I've ever seen. She full on faints and the trainer says to call a doctor.

Linda packs for her honeymoon trip. Nathy comes in to say she's going out with Fabian, but she'll be home early. Really, Nathy, I'd prefer a "don't wait up." Please trip on something and accidentally rip enough of that outfit to make it enticing. Linda brags about going to the beach with Os after spending the night in the love nest. Nathy shows a little spine and yells at her for taking the blame when Linda's just going to do the same crap again. Well, she wrote Juanjo a letter to get him off everyone's back for the weekend and then when she gets back she'll break up with him and then he's all Nathy's. What is her skull made out of? Because I think it would be the perfect material for beanies--nothing gets through.

Ximena's doc comes in and says she's not got anything serious. Just a parasite. It will grow internally for nine months and then she can carry it around outside the body. Yay! Hm. Ximena doesn't look happy. *shrug*

Part IV

Cruz is spending a sleepless night on the couch. He remembers Fer saying she was just toying with him. He thinks she was telling the truth and vows he won't go near her again. He remembers meeting her for the first time and the first time he kissed her. I drool over the Fer/Cruz montage. They really would be cute together if she wasn't such a spoiled rich girl. Damn Fer! He brings you roses and serenatas and he even knows how to cook. Your scuzzy skank boy can't top that. Screw the money! It's not like Scuzzbucket's in your "social class" either.

Ximena goes over to Gui's and tells him she's pregnant. Wow. That was direct. He laughs. "Dude, you know it's yours." Nope. He doesn't. And even if it was, he won't accept the kid and he won't marry her. Time to drug Max's drink and make him believe the baby's his. Better do it quick. (Come on, we all know it's coming.)

In Miami, the gang is welcomed by Joaquin (hello, hottie!), who shows an interest in Maria. Max says there's no time for conversation. They've got to get checked in. Joaquin waves them in the direction of their rooms and looks pensive.

Part V

Some random pimp and ho are in the back of a limo. Oh, wait…that's Os and Linda. And Linda's copious cleavage. Blah, blah, blah. I love Acapulco. We're gonna get busy. Blah, blah, blah. Linda wants to live there, she wants to go to the beach, blah, blah, blah.

Bernarda looks through her photo albums and sees the picture is right where she left it. She hits herself on the head wondering how Vic got a hold of it. She locks her cabinet of infamy again and goes shouting for Eva and Fausto. She demands the truth about who betrayed her by taking a picture and giving it to Victoria. They both swear they don't know what she's talking about. Fausto says if she couldn't trust them there would be more things missing, valuable things…why would they take a picture? What could they get out of that? Eva hesitantly suggests that they're not the only people in the house…not that she thinks that poor Maria could have done it…but that Alacran guy…hm? Fausto says maybe he comes into the house when they're not there. Bernie demands Fausto bring him immediately. Eva smirks behind her back.

Linda parades around on the beach with her ass hanging out of her bathing suit. Just before my DVR cuts off and I contemplate what horrid thing I could say about it that hasn't already been said, Mr. 5ft tops us all by asking why she needs a seawater enema.

Sweet William Levy in a kayak, that's all I've got on this episode. Please tip your waitstaff generously and try the chicken. I'll be back next week with another installment of "Pretty, Pretty People with More Looks Than Sense."

But wait...there's more...the upstairs DVR caught the very end of the show.

Linda answers Os's phone after he runs off on the beach, but she doesn't say anything when she realizes it's Victoria.

Bernarda yells at Fausto for not being able to find Alacran. Bernarda tries to get the info out of Maria M, but she doesn't know. She also doesn't know what business he's in. Bernarda slaps her for "lying" and saying she didn't open the house up to him to let him come in and steal. A screaming Maria M is dragged off by Eva with orders to lock her up. Fausto thought bubbles that Bernarda doesn't give a crap about other people's suffering, but she'll pay for it one day and he'll be the one to make her pay!

Linda tells Vic that Os is very busy at the moment and he won't be able to attend to her or anyone else. Linda goes on to say that she's also very busy, so bye. Vic is in shock. Linda giggles and runs back into the ocean to frolic with Os. They get sand in places I'd rather not think about.

Vic calls Gui, who tells her he doesn't know where Os is. Pedro gives him a shocked look. Yes, Pedro, you can't trust Gui.

Sweet William Levy in a kayak!

Tomorrow: Fer is conflicted; Joaquin makes a play; Max and Maria get sand in uncomfortable places.

Labels: triunfo