Caray, Caray!

First, a quick summary of last night's highlights (#55):

Pepe asks Pancho for help getting a new car. Pancho is sympathetic, but not THAT sympathetic. If he buys Pepe a new car, he won't learn his lesson. (To Pepe's suggestion to sell La Burra, Pancho replies, "I'd sell you first!")

Jess thinks Pancho said those hurtful things to Chela because he's jealous. Chela thinks she should just tell him that she's in love with him. (Oh, sure, NOW she wants to tell him??) Jess says no, don't use up all your weapons at once. He'll soon be eating out of your hand!

Candy takes Ana to Pina's house and says she'll be her assistant. Pina questions why Candy needs an assistant but at least finally takes the trouble to find out Ana's name. Meanwhile, Ana cheers up Abeja.

Pepe fixes Celeste's lamp at the Avon reception desk. The phones ring and ring while she flirts with him. She invites him out for coffee. He accepts. Mónica overhears and is bien enojada. They'll leave at 7.

Pancho is excited about the new cell phones with a better plan, etc. etc.

Rebe rehashes the latest kisses with Bárbara. She says it's one thing to feel and another thing to think. Bar says Rebe had better act soon, because the train's leaving the station.

Ana corners Chela and voices a lot of suspicions about the mysterious new boyfriend, who Chela says is named Luis Enrique. Ana says if she's in love with Pancho she should fight for him. If she doesn't act soon, Dad will marry la tísica.

Candy meets Vice for a date. "You were born of the foamy surf," he tells her. [Ocean spray? Seafoam? Take your pick, they all sound awful to me, but I'm not an ocean person.] Also, he's in love with her. She does not return his feelings, just asks for more champagne and says she feels guilty about Pina.

Fraud wants to have coffee with Mónica. She'd better get all dressed up because he's got something huge to tell her. Enzo remembers Moni's tearful declaration of love for Pepe, but encourages the tangerine anyway. Fraud arrives at their house at the appointed time, and she's still in sweats. Fraud complains, and Enzo tells her to change her clothes. ***fume!!!*** But she sulkily remembers Pepe making a date with Celeste, and goes along. At the coffee place, Fraud reminds himself that he's got to beat the mechanic. He apologizes to Mónica, says he only took Elena to Brazil in hopes she'd help him forget, but it didn't work. He loves her SO much, he wants to get married. She responds with angry disbelief. Yesterday you just wanted to be friends, now you want to get married?? He didn't even bother talking to her after they broke up... until Pepe entered the picture. And now he's allied with her father. Besides, she's 20, she's too young to get married, she doesn't love him, and she wouldn't marry HIM to save her own life. He says he wants to live with her and have lots of Frauddycitos. She says he is CRAZY and she doesn't believe him.

Pancho and Rebe daydream about one another and try to call each other at the same time. They both get a busy signal, try again, and get another busy signal.

Abejita is depressed. Tomás cheers her up. Pina invites him to stay for dinner. They have a grand time. She is charmed by his coarse table manners. I think Tom is about to tell Pina a dirty joke when Alex comes over to see Frauddie and get his cell phone. Pina tells him that Fraud is out with Mónica. Tom hears this, of course. And Alex wants to wants to know what Tom is doing there. Tom says Pina invited him for dinner and to cheer up the dog. He excuses himself.

Pancho has a big milk mustache. Gross. He tells Lupita he's not jealous of Chela's new boyfriend - just curious. Who is he? What are his intentions? Lupita says it's all because of the money and Rebeca. He points out that if their lives hadn't changed, then Chela would have just gone on loving his clueless self in secret anyway.

Monica's still ranting and raving at how crazy stupid Frauddie is to think she'd marry him. I don't want to be your friend, much less your wife.

Tomas is telling Pepe of his strange evening - consoling the dog and dining with Pina. Naturally, he also reveals that Alex came by and Pina said Frauddy was with Moni.

Frauddie and Alex. Frauddie is absorbed in his TV show as usual; Alex has to stand in front of the TV to get his attention. Fraud is happy to know that Pepe will hear from Tomas that he went out with Mónica. Alex thinks Fraud is pursuing Moni in the stupidest way possible. Maybe he's still in love with her and can't admit it.

Hey, what about Pepe and Celeste? Maybe their date will be some other night.

Next day:

Pina says Abeja has been whining since last night.

Frauddie revs Champi's engine outside Pepe's window.

Pancho is ready to throw in the towel with Rebeca. He can't be professional, knowing how he feels about her.

Bonus vocabulary word: sobredimensionado (oversized)

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#56: The Case of the Smelly Secretary

Jess says Chela spends so much time at the new house, the only thing she doesn't do there is sleep. Lupita runs in, Temo ran away from school.

Fraud tells Pepe, "I found out why you lost the race. There was some crud in the gas line, but my mechanics fixed it all up and I'm gonna race your car day after tomorrow and win. Don't you want to watch?" It's only thanks to Tomás's big muscly arms that the tangerine remains unsqueezed. Anyway, Tom's got a plan that can't fail.

At the doctor: Abeja has emotional problems. Pina and Vice blame one another. The doctor says she needs a stable home. He wants to hypnotize her. OK, no hypnosis, but how about group therapy? Role-playing? Pina can be the dog. Vice can be Vice. Vice sweet-talks Pina. Pina responds happily. Vice is angry - all that sweetness was for Abeja, not her. Pina starts to quarrel. (I think the doctor is seriously considering calling the Humane Society.)

Temo's at Pancho's office. He hates school; they call him a naco with no mother. And he gave a kid a bloody nose and made him cry. Then he ran away to avoid punishment and because the kid's friends were coming. He wants to go back to his old school. Pancho sends him down to the cafeteria with Enriqueta for a soda. Temo gives Rebe a funny look on the way out.

Rebe says Fer won't will understand if Pancho takes him out of a school where the kids are so cruel. Anyway, they could have problems with the parents of the boy Temo hit. Pancho wants to call Chela. Rebe stops him and says she can help him pick a new school for Temo that has a better atmosphere.

Ana and Manuel. He's told her his life story, so now it's time for hers. At first she says there isn't much to tell, but then tells him about Chela and gets weepy. She is embarrassed by her crying. Miguel says she doesn't like people to see that she has feelings, but everyone has wounds and it's nothing to be ashamed of. He's an only child and it was hard to leave his parents, but he hasn't had any contact with them since. He likes Ana because she's talented and nice and pretty. It's her charisma, her style, her heart. He goes to kiss her mouth, then changes his mind and goes for the cheek. A platonic hug follows. Ana looks ambivalent.

Tomás has a plan to beat Fraud without violence. (Where's the fun in that?) But they'll have to get into the Irabiéns' garage. He'll need the remote control. Pepe doesn't want Tomás sabotaging his car. Tom says if Pepe won't help him, he'll do it himself.

At home, Abeja is crouching in a nook and whining. Pina has some kind of medicine for Abeja's nerves and promises it'll taste good. Candy shows up and coaxes Abeja out by asking if she wants to see Popeye. Abeja thinks she can trust Candy. Pina gives her the medicine. Oh no! It was all a ruse! Popeye's not here at all! Pina tells Candy that the dog's psychologist is also Vince's. She's drowing in the melodrama of her life. Tomas arrives; Abeja runs to greet him. "They're in love," Pina explains to Candy.

In the Avon cafeteria, Pancho tells Temo not to hit any more kids. Rebe joins them; Temo gives her another sullen look. Moni comes over wanting help needs help with something, Arnold's not there, Pancho says he'll talk to her in his office later.

Rebe and Pancho start to tell Temo about the other schools, but Chela shows up. Don't go around hitting your classmates, she tells Temo. She's not interested in the list of schools. She makes snide remarks at Rebeca instead, much the way kids at school tease Temo. Not that Rebeca lets a single remark slide, but Chela is definitely the aggressor. Pancho sends the boy up to his office. Poor kid, Pancho's always sending him somewhere else. Chela and Rebeca trade barbs about their personal philosophies about education and child-rearing. Chela challenges Pancho to take a side. The bitchery goes on and on. It seems that, because Rebe is in favor of taking Temo out of that school (that Chela did NOT approve of at first), Chela now thinks he should stay there and learn how to fight his own battles. (Some bullied children will tell you that it's hard to learn all the other things you're supposed to learn in school if you're always worried about the next battle.) Pancho does not. Chela leaves in a huff, griping that now Rebeca's going to raise his kids. Pancho assures Rebeca that he'll win her over.

Sandy prances clumsily into Vice's office clad in lingerie and fishnet stockings. He doesn't want any. He takes a call from Candy and sends Sandy out. He's sent Candy a pink cell phone so they can text one another all day. (It looks a lot like her old pink cell phone.) He wants another date tonight. Ana disapproves.

Adoración is looking for Abeja. She's afraid she'll be killed if she doesn't find the dog. Abeja is standing in the middle of the street, thinking that she just wants to escape. Ado finds her just in time to see her "almost" (i.e., not even close) get hit by a car.

Vice is on his cell phone, outside his car, telling Enzo he's hardly the one to be giving advice about love since the only woman he ever fell in love with was Moni's mom and that was a long time ago. Sandy sneaks into the seat of Vice's car and crouches behind the passenger seat while he takes a call with Arnold. He complains aloud that he smells like Sandy's perfume.

Chela is taking Temo home. She tells him she hasn't been crying, it's just that she walked past some onions in the trash. He doesn't believe her; he knows she's been fighting with his father, and it's all his fault. Pancho pulls her aside and says she only disagreed with him to disagree with Rebeca. She makes more sarcastic comments and Pancho gets angry. Temo is horrified. Chela and Pancho are horrified.

Abeja is playing dead in the middle of the street, but the man didn't hit her. In fact, he notes that she's still breathing. At his urging, Adoración gives doggie CPR and Little Bee gets up. While Ado praises God, Abeja wanders off again.

Vice picks up Candy. Candy smells Sandy's perfume. She gives him a good sniff, but realizes that the stench is coming from the back seat. Uh-oh.

Pancho tells Rebeca that he's confused. She feels that he's more indecisive than confused. He's more messed up by his feelings toward Chela than his feelings towards her. He says she cares for my children, blah blah blah. She thinks he still lets Chela manipulate him and he should put her in her place and if he doesn't, it's because he loves her. He tells Rebeca SHE'S the one who's confused. (Hey, why can't they both be confused?) He says she knows who he loves!

First of all, he feels guilty that he can't return Chela's love. Second, the kids are upset since she left home, and if they're upset it affects him too. Third, he's in love with her and her kisses tell him she feels something too, but doesn't have the courage to admit it. She says she feels that he loves his SIL and doesn't have the courage to admit it, and runs out of his office.

Candy, Sandy, and Vice have a lengthy but unimportant argument in the middle of the road while impatient drivers wait for them to get out of the way. Candy denies having an affair with this married man; they're doing a business deal. Idiot Vice invites Sandy to join in on the deal!

Adoración goes to Fernanda's house looking for Abeja. Popeye hasn't seen her, and he's sad about it. Ana comes up with a great plan.

Tomás takes advantage of Adoración's absence to swipe the garage door remote control.

Rebe finishes up on the phone with Fernanda just as Pancho comes in. Pancho wants an update. Rebeca coldly informs him that Fer's feeling fine and is writing a book. He apologizes for being so harsh in their conversation earlier and wants her opinion on a plan he's written up for the Japanese investors' money. She doesn't really reply, but then she gets a call - her apartment is on fire! They take off to investigate.

They didn't break between episodes, so I'm arbitrarily cutting #56 off here.

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#57: The Case of the Painted Pom


At the office, Vince backpedals with Sandy - he invited her to HELP with the deal, not be a partner. She threatens to go to Pina and Pancho with the truth. Vice quickly agrees to a partnership. Arnold comes in with a head scarf and Vice calls him Bin Laden. (This episode aired in Mexico just a few weeks before he became difunto.)

Jess jokes that Chela sweeps so much, she might as well get a job. Chela says Pancho keeps sending her money. She asks if reading cards pays well. Jess says she's losing customers because lately they prefer horoscopes and telephone psychics. Chela suggests that Jess become an Avon lady. She goes back to her sweeping and complains about Rebeca. She thinks says their plan isn't working. Jess is sure that it will work. He's only temporarily dazzled by Rebeca.

Outside a pet store, Ana explains her plan to Lupita and Adoración: They'll buy an identical dog. OMG stupid, not to mention costly. That doggie in the window looks nothing like Abejita and doesn't have her necklace (nor a litter of buns in the oven) and is the wrong age, but that doggie is for sale, so they're going to dye her fur.

Enzo and Vice bring Arnold up to date on all the latest hijinks, i.e. baring souls with Candy. Arnold thinks it sounds like a telenovela. Hardy-har-har, that self-referential joke never gets old. Enzo asks Arnoldo's help to tighten their friend's loose screws (tornillos flojos).

Pina looks for Ado. Or the dog. Arnold is there. He gives her some lingerie from Paris to help with her marriage, which she thinks is hopeless. He tells her about the hot men in Turkey.

Speaking of hotness, flames are shooting from Rebeca's apartment. People are fleeing for their lives. A zillion fire trucks are there. So is La Burra. Rebe wants to go in. The fireman says it was a short circuit (how can they know that while the fire's still in progress?). The curtains and draperies have burned, and she's not going to be able to stay there for a while. Pancho offers to put her up at Fer's place. She wants to stay in a hotel. She keeps swooning.

Vice calls Candy and they talk about the color of their eyes. (Actually, he's reading his side of it out of a book.) Pina interrupts Vice to tell him about the missing maid and the missing dog. Missing dog? Vice panics. Candy is momentarily forgotten.

Rebe is at Pancho's after all. The doctor prescribed a sedative, she doesn't want that or the calming tea he wants to make for her. He says he knows what it feels like to lose one's home. She says it's not the same thing. She doesn't think it's proper for her to stay there. He agrees to take her to a hotel but she has to talk the sedative.

Fraud comes home. Yet again he's accused of having egg-eyes, this time in reaction to Pina's charge that Ado has kidnapped his sister. He jokes that she might be in a parallel universe. (Much cleverer than I would have expected from him.) Vice is not amused. Pina starts swooning all over the place.

Rebeca takes the sedative AND the calming tea and paces restlessly. Her eyes are all puffy from crying. Pancho tells Candy about the fire. Candy wants to make sure Rebe won't stay there forever. Pancho goes to check in on Rebe and she passes out, so instead of taking her to the hotel, he takes her to his room.

Ado shows up with Not-beja. Vice and Pina are so busy scolding Ado that they don't notice the imposter right away.

Half-conscious, Rebe asks Pancho to bring her to a hotel. Apparently, Candy is still unconvinced. She watches Rebe sleep in Pancho's bed and gloats that asleep, she looks like she couldn't hurt a fly.

Pina says the dog doesn't smell right. She smells like hair dye.

Candy's going out. Pancho is suspicious. She says she's taking Popeye for a walk.

Pina tells Ado to prepare a bath for the dog. Ado eagerly offers to wash the dog. Pina observes that Ado never wants to wash the dog. She's gonna dunk the pup herself.

Candy runs into Alex with a bunch of flowers. Lupita's not home. She tells him to hang in there, don't lose hope. Popeye starts barking. The real Abeja is here. They're happy to see each other.

Adoracion prepares to meet her doom as Pina demands the dog shampoo. Ado stalls and pretends it's stuck, but finally the bath is ready and the imposter is exposed. Downstairs (I don't know why the change of venue), Ado admits Abeja ran away and she lost her; but when she puts Notbeja down, the usurper runs upstairs to make herself at home! Candy arrives with Original Abejita and Popeye. Pina is overjoyed.

Rebe wakes up in Pancho's bed, confused, and finds Pancho sitting creepily at the foot of the bed in the dark. She wants to sleep in a different room. She doesn't think it's appropriate for her to be in there. But he disagrees and she's too dizzy to move. She passes out again.

Frauddie visits with Enzo. Enzo glowingly contrasts Fraud and Pepe. (Ugh, Enzo, you're single - if you like Fraud so much, why don't YOU marry him?) Fraud promises that Moni will become disillusioned with her bleach-blond mechanic and come running back to his arms. Then they'll get married.

Lupita and Temo come home with Chela. They beg her again to come back. They need her and if she doesn't, Rebeca will win. Lupita says Temo needs his mamá. She says she'll talk to Pancho.

Vice comes home and is upset to see Popeye. Candy credits Popeye for finding Abejita. Ado is ready to pack her bags and be fired. Pina goes upstairs to get Candy a token of her gratitude. She tells Vice to offer Candy something. Hah! He takes advantage of their moment of privacy to mash on her some more and nearly gets caught. Pina gives her two passes to a fancy spa. Pina tells Ado she's fired and take la usurpadora with her.

The wet, dyed usurpadora has ruined Pina's favorite pajamas and Vince's shoes. They call her the Tasmanian Devil. Vince says there's hate in her eyes. Pina summons Ado to get rid of this angel of death and clean up the room.

Moni tells Karina about Fraud's unexpected proposal. Karina agrees that it is ridiculous, but it's also ridiculous that she won't confront her father and she'll never forgive herself.

In the kitchen, Ana helps Pancho fix a sandwich. Temo and Lupita tell him that is waiting in Pancho's bedroom to talk with him.

Wait, where?

She seems to realize that someone is in the bed and assumes that it's Pancho, but it's not clear whether she thinks he's awake or asleep. Her speech is the usual self-pitying drivel about how he turned their lives around 180 degrees and it's soooo awful. She puts her hand on Rebeca's ankle, but strangely does not notice that it's not the big gnarly man-foot she's been rubbing for years, and continues with some choice words about Rebeca, "this little thing, es una... una...".

Rebeca has been awake through some of this. She and turns on the light and tries to sit up in the bed. "Es una qué, Graciela? Una qué?"

End credits: new going-to-sleep song, weird animation, Popeye's as big as Temo. No me gusta, especially after that sleeping pill Rebeca took.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah already in progress!

Next time:
The kids give Rebe a warm welcome... roasting her over hot coals. Candy takes a steam with Vince... and Pina and Cathi!

Labels: familia