Post by Anita (aka NOK)
THE DEVOLUTION* OF DR. ALVARO NESME
OR
THE SORRY DOWNFALL OF A RESPECTED TOWN DOCTOR
*Webster’s
Collegiate Dictionary, 2d definition—Devolution = Retrograde evolution—Degeneration.
Key—If the
phrase is followed by or includes parens, it comes from the author of the
phrase; if in brackets, it’s an editorial comment. If there are …[dots] at the beginning or in
the middle, the missing words were part of a longer sentence which has nothing
to do with the appellation. There will
be duplicates—sorry, it’s a long list, but when they are noted, the earliest
occurrence is used and subsequent uses deleted.
Our
esteemed Dr. Alvaro Nesmé is introduced in Episode #3 of Cuando Me Enamoro by
his given name. However, CarayCarayers
soon had his number. He quickly is
recognized as the:
Drunk Doc
In
which Alvaro is called on to save Rafael’s life
the
butchering Doc
the really
bad doctor
Dr.
Borracho
El
Borracho de Medico
DD [means
Drunk Dr or Dr Drunk, take your pick]
DDr
Dr D
the boozy
Dr
Dr.
Nesme…yo, creepier than ever
Dr. Nesme…constructed
from spare parts
…pathetic
version of Spiderus [used in Llena de Amor]
Dr Death
[First used by Carlos]
…a
complete putz
Dr. Doofus
…that
hideous excuse for a doc
…said
creppt doc [daisynjay probably meant creepy, but creppt is so apt]
…Dr Death
is not only an a**, he talks with his mouth full
…creepy
hick
…he leaves
with his teeny tail between his legs
Dr.
Bobblehead who has everything (except manners, class and the ability to turn
down a drink)
FrankenDoc
Doc
Scumbag
Dr. Creepy
[and all the possible permutations]
drunk doc
[dup, but here he won his first Mr. Inappropriate prize]
Dr. Slime
Dr. Dumb
El Doctorcito
Dr.
DoLessThanLittle
Dr.No no
no no no…
Dr. Dud
Mr.
Slimeball [he lost his medical title temporarily]
Doc
Distorted
Dr. Yuck
Dr. Dunce
Dr. Doom
the Quack
Dr.Flask-at-the-ready
Dr.
Mephesto
Doc ‘only
a mother could love’
DR. BOOZE
dr.donuthin'
Frankendoctor
Dr. Ick
[or Doc Ick or Icky, became a favorite]
Doc Dipwad
Dr.
DoNothing Nesme
Doc Dip
Doctor Dud
Dr.
Lecherous T. Pervert
Dr. Yuck
…that
scumbucket of a doctor
Dr. Freaky
Dr.
Drunkard
In
which Alvaro forces himself on Kari to cumplir el acto—to submit as any loving
wife should
Dr.
Do-Less-Than-Little rapist
Dr. Duh
Dr. Drunk
Doc
Dropdeadplease
Dr.
Do-Nothing-But Drink (and rape his wife)
Dr. Jekyll
…he is
slime
…surely
there's another snake out in the vineyard... one with the Dr's name on it.
…the Dr.
is one of Satan's minions
Dr. DNBD
[Short for Dr. Do-Nothing-But-Drink]
…her
husband is an animal (AniMAHL sounds so much worse in Spanish.)
…that
dweeby snake with the beady eyes
…that
slime-covered, lying, wife-raping, tequilla-guzzling mata sanos
He's
wooden and must smell of booze all the
time
Doc
Dastard
AlkieBrutoNesme
Dr. Dork
Dr.
Disgusting
Dr
Rapey-snake [aka Dr. Rapeysnake & Dr. Rapey Snake, Dr.Rapey, Dr. Snakey,
Doc Rsnake,
and other variations that got a lot of
mileage; Julia first used it in Llena referring to Mauricio]
…this is
DOCTOR Rapey-snake. He takes rapey-snake to a whole new level.
In
which Alvaro has a roll in the dust with Alfonsina
Dr. Doom
and Miss Muddypants [Alfonsina just had to stay in the picture]
…'ole
beady eyes
…that
ba$t@rd
Egad he’s
a creep
Doctor
Drinksalot
…I'm
counting the days until Doc's liver flops over like a dead fish
…awaiting
an equally spinless, besotted excuse for a medico to "attend" to
[Renata]
Alvaro,
who got his medical degree at Jim Beam University
Dr.
Death--looks and acts strange
Doctor
Alvaro [spare parts man]…. no doubt he's made of seamless modern external
cladding material,
which includes the cheap toupee, no
doubt a cover for a USB port. They plug
him in while he
floats in his nutrient tank at
night. [gracias, Mike]
…sure his
nutrient tank will take any sort of alcohol, the stronger the better
…drunken,
slimy buffoon
Dr.
SlimeyRapey
Dr. Sleeze
Dr.
Lessthannothing
Drunk
Doctor Death
…that
dreck of a human being
SlimeBucket
Alvaro
Doctor
Buzz Kill
Doctor
Scumbucket [and other near synonymous terms]
…her rapey
snake husband who dreams of boinking another
Dr. I
[nappropriate]
Dr. Pus
Bucket
Pusaro
Doc Al
Doc Pusaro
Bucket [cleverly combined by Cap’n SS)
Dr. Dim
…agree..that
the Dr's assertion of pants wearing is disgusting but it almost pales next to
surgery
while drunk, spousal rape, sexual
extortion, threatening to murder a child, and of course
mincing
about in those ridiculous pastel leisure suits and white shoes. [Carlos can
really
get
to the heart of a matter with just a few words.]
Dr. RS
[Dr. Rapey Snake, in case any one has forgotten]
Dr.
Dingleberry
In
which Alvaro learns Alfonsina, NHW*, is pregnant
*Not His
Wife
Doctor
Dingbat
Doc Ding
Dong
Nasty
Doctor Death
Slimedog
Rapey Snake
Dopery
Doc…simply looks like a mishmash of congenital abnormalities and syndromes that
somehow managed to survive [more of
Carlos’ marvelously picturesque language]
Doc-Is-Shooting-Blanks
…this man
just looks like a cipher
He just
oozes slime out of all of his pores
His
Snakiness
…what...
could Alfie have ever seen in this miserable tangle of defective genetic
strands
Dirtbag
Doc’s revenge
In
which Alvaro is missing in action during the Storm
…go out in
the storm, look up and open your mouth. Drown, please, now!
Dr.
Worthless T. Drunkard
Dr.
Useless T. Pervert
Dr. Lump
of wasted tissue
Doc is …as
useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
Stupid ass
hat doc
Dr Creepo
Doctor Dim
Dr. Scuzzbucket
Dr.
Drinkmuch
Dr. Drinky
Doc-of-the-bottle
Dr.
Drinksalot
Dial a Doc
Dr.Drunko
Dr.Drunkle
In
which Alvaro “housenaps” Kari, his long-suffering wife
Doc
Demented [this label cannot be claimed by the Director of the Demented
Facility]
Dr.
Dial-a-Drunk
Dr. Drinks
well past last call for alcohol
Doc
Donor-with-a-b*n*r
Doc
Disgusting
…it was
pusbucket
…pie cart
time for him. Can we slip a little arsenic in the pies, please.
Dr. gin
and tonic
Dr.
Lickyface
Dr.
Scumbag
…that
walking oozing wound of "human" flesh
…drunken
Dr Nastynesme who murmurs Alfonsina’s name in his dirty dreams
Dr.
Nesmenasty
Dr.
Dreadful
Dr.
Dips**t
Dr. Jack
Daniels
…Alvaro
takes offense, to this man [in the bar] and anyone in town he is DR ALVARO
NESME!!
Dr.
Never-saw-a-drink-he-didn't-want-to-guzzle-down
Dr.
Killsthem
Dr. Vodka
Dr.
Nesnasty
In
which Alvaro is arrested and jailed for surgical malpractice
Dr.
Nesmethenasty
…he could
just as well been arrested by the fashion police for continuing to wear those
70’s
leisure suits that he has in way too
many colors.
…and the
white shoes
Doc
Creepazoid
crummy Dr.
Dr. Drunk
and Drool
Dr.TankedintheTank
Dr.
DrinkmeNesme
Dr.
Nesme...convicted, sentenced, defrocked... and he hasn't even had time to sober
up...he’s
going
to be very disappointed when he gets the news.
…Dr Nesme
will be pissed when he wakes up from pissing the night away
…Oh, I can
see it now – [Augie] and Dr. Demented in their little white jackets playing
checkers in the play room (complete
with bars) and sipping their juice; nice...
ex-Doc
Doc
Inconvenient
…he's a
drunken, wife-beating, kidnapping rapist. Surely in this case annulment is in
order. That padre
needs
to step up and push this, or Karina needs to get a new God. [Man, that’s tough and we
haven’t
gotten to cold-blooded killer, yet.]
Dr. Freak
…sleazy
doc
…it's odd
to see a woman consult her priest about having to have sex with her @%$^ of a
husband
Dr.
DastardlyBastard
Dr.
Jailbird
In
which Alvaro is revealed to be sterile
…e-vile
Doc Do-Nothing is sterile! Bwahahaha
Doc Desert
Dr. Dried
Up
Dr. Do
Little But Drink
Doc
Dirtbag
Dr.
Dry-roasted
Dr
Shooting Blanks
Dr.
Deadsperm
Doc
Esteril
Dr.
LuckRunOut
Dr.
Neslime
Dr.
NesDeath
In
which Alvaro is attacked in prison, declared dead, buried and resurrected in
the third week
Dr Nasty
[and all its permutations]
Dr
PastyandMaybeNotDead
Dr. Dead
or Alive
…really
most sincerely dead…
Dr. Dopey
Dr.
WhyIsHeNotDeadYet
Dr.
@*!&#% is only mostly dead and not completely dead
Doc
Badderthanbad
Dr.
Butthead
…and was
it really necessary to show this guy shirtless? Show full of hunks and we get
this slime
shirtless...gee thanks Mr. Director.
...useless,
plague-take-it “doctor” had to darken our screens
Dr.
Buzzkill
Doc
WhiteAsADeadHalibut
Dr.Ickyshirtless
...whiterthangreysole
Doc NotSoDeadAsWeWish
...greysoleex
isn’t ex enough
Doc Zombie
[or Doczombie]
Dr.
Dreadful
The grey
sole…is still beeping and pulsating
I will
sign the petition…to stop the bare-chested doc scenes
Dr. Death Reincarnate
…where the
hell is Dr. Van Helsing and his wooden stake to put a real end to Alvaro
DrDruginducedComaComingtoLife
Doc
ShouldBeDead
…Why is
this cockroach still alive?
Dr.
Disgusting
Dr.
WhyDon'tYouJustDieAlready
DrNotDeadYet
Doc
OfTheLivingDead
Dr.
JustDieAlready
DrKnowsSomething
DrDeathDefyingSlobOnaSlab
In
which Alvaro, alive, is outed to the Padre by Jeronimo
Doc
Invincible
… that
oily skunk
Doc
LousyBum
Operation:
Doc Ain't Dead
Dr.
Don'tTheyOwna NightShirt
Dr.
upchuck
Dr.
Abracadaver
Dr. Nesme
the Nasty
…caldron
of dead white… oh wait a minute, those
fish are thrashing around
Dr.
ThankHeavensHe'sFinallyCovered
…dreaded
doc
Doc
DirtNap
The last
thing we want to see is a reformed Doc
Dr.
Overdueforcrossingover
DocIWishHeWasDead
Dr. PastyBalls
Doc-in-the-box
DocOughtToBePushingUpDaisies
Alvaricious
Doc
NastyNames
Doc Makes
MeHurl
Dr.Manynastynamesnesme
Doc
WastedTissue
Dr.
KillHimOffAlready
Dr
Grossinstein
Dr.
PastDueToDie
Doc
JustDie
DeadDoc
Dr.
DieAlready
Dr.
Deathly
Doc
IwannaBeFreeToDoEvil
Doc
I’mSoSickOFHisFaceAlready
Dr.
TooAlive
Dr.NotDeadEnough
Dr.
DidYouHaveToShowYourFace
Dr. Fuzzy
Balls-n-Chain
Reanimated
Man
DrNotQuiteDirt
Dr. Creepy
is not Dead
…return of
the living dead
Dr.
HaHaYouAreNotAWidow is not Dr. DustToDustAshesToAshes
…marido
from hell
Dr. dirt
…the
livingdead down at the jail, aka Dr. Nesme just isn’t dead enough for anyone’s
liking
Dr. I
wishheweredead
Dr.
pleasejustdiealready
Dr. iwillneverdie
Dr.
Iwillliveforever
Dr.
Iamimmortal
Doc
iwilldieeventually
The Undead
Doc
Dr. Alvaro
Nesmé - I just wrote that to see if I could spit out his proper name - I still
want a shower.
Dr.
AboutToCauseSomeMajorGrief NOT dead
In
which Alvaro escapes from prison hospital, goes on a rampage and is rearrested
Dr
WeHopeDiesSoonAPainfullySlowDeath
Dr
PreviouslyInAComaThatDidn'tKillHim
Dr.
Toonastytodie
Dr.
Cockroach
NesmeReturnsFromTheDead
Doc
Shouldbesharkchum
DrLivesOn
Dr.9lives
Manofa1000Names
(aka Dr. 1000Names)
Dr. 1000
drinks
Dr.
Dipsomaniac
Dr. Awful
Dr.
Snatch&Grab
Dr. No
Dr.
Shouldbeconsumedbyworms
doc
Notdeadandgone
AlvarNo
Nasty
Doc
Unflushable
…runaway
doc [and also Doc runaway]
…demon
doctor who won't die
Dr.
Drunk-o-the clown
He-Whose-Bucket-Has-Not-Yet-Been-Kicked
Detestable
Doc
Dr.
DrunkySkunk
Dr.
AllVile Nasty
Dr. Awful
Dr.
GivingUstheStinkShoes
NottheBridegroomzombie
He-Who-Should-Be-Pushing-Up-Daisies
Disaster in
Disguise
Doc
Please-Stop-Breathing-Our-Air
Doc
DaddyYankee
Doc
TryingToBeJustinTimberlake
Dr.
WeddedBlissInterruptus
Creepazoid
husband
Dr.
LoserBoozer
Dr.
OhShitHe'sNotDead
…nasty Dr.
N
Dr.
StealYourClothes
Return of
the DeadLiving
Doc-StopforaSwig-Thenshoot
Dr. Psycho
…bad
Doctor-not-dead-yet
Nastiness
NastyN
Dr.
Dontlistentoherpullthetrigger
DocShouldbethestarofanautopsy
Dr.
Creepamonte
Dr.
Gunsucker
Dr.
MyLiver'llBeLeatherSoon
Dr.
WhatAWasteofAir
Doc
PointShake'nShoot
Dr.
Flask....don't leave home without it
…throw a
match at the looney lush and he'd probably combust immediately
Nightmare
on Nesme Street
Dr.
HumanSlime
AlmostDeadAlvaro
Dr.
RollinRatPoop
WishingAlvarooosoooDead
DocCrazy
Doctor
PleaseDropDead
Doc
AlwaysShootsBlanks
Dr.
LockHimUpAndThrowAwayTheKey
Alvaro
(refer to [Caray’s] incredible list for your own favorite alias)
Alvaro
Nesmé (drop in alias here)
…booze
hound doctor Nesme swigs from the flask or swills and slurps from a bottle
…resurrected
Alvaro Nastay
…nightmare
on Alvaro street
Dr.Dread
…may he
soon rest in some kind of pieces
Dear
Doctor Dastardly
Dr.NotMissingLookingAtHisFace
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,Yet-Has-Been-Named-A-Thousand-Times
In
which Alvaro has a face-to-face with Renata and then sings his heart out
Dr. Alvaro
McNasty
Nastynez crawls out from under his rock at The Rock
NauseousNesme
Nas-T
Dr.Dregs
Dr.DyeTheTopOfMyHeadOnly
… psycho-perverted-lush
Dr.
DreadfulShouldBeDeadful
Dr.
StillWearingTheBadToupee
Dr.
IhaveSeenTheLight
Ain'tDeadYetDoc
DocWhoWillNotDie
In
which Alvaro is seen and heard less and less
Dr.
FutureWormBanquet
Dr.soontobeWormbanquet
Dr-I-only-die-my-hair-on-top
(thank you R la O)
Anvil
Score (Nesme)=0. Nesme has to go. There is no redemption for this dirtbag.
Dr.
Shoescrapings
Dr.
UnendingObstacle
Dr.
WhyWasIBornTodayOrAnyDay
NauseatingNesme
Dr.
BirthdayBoyOhBoy
… Nesme is just such a
train wreck on all levels
Dr. OneUglyRatAmidstThoseCuteActingRats
Dr. JailBaitOhWoeIsMeI'mFriendless
…that
Slime Bag
In
which Alvaro is redeemed and Padre-in-training Antonio is the only one who
cares
Dr.IrrelevantNow
Dr. N
seems to be getting off easy. His
barbaric cruelty went far beyond his alcoholism.
Doc
He'llAlwaysBeAFreak is suddenly turning "good."
Dr.WasteofOxygen
I was also
hoping for bitter unholy defiance from Dr. Doom, not participation in a 12 step
program.
***
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
Tastefully
collected and repackaged by NOK (henceforth to be known as Anita)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGqa31MrmuWze3IYcXjD-2a3Mmr7ogNFUeVMplvLesAQozEx32o0uIVjaaAaIkAHF5dGPHSAUWfRCJ8RY9Yxr-pYQqx4-TiTHf8JLGJjG69vAtFLtgNkYghuuDfaQ85gaH8rfu/s320/NesmeKari.jpg) |
Friends in real life |
Labels: Cuando
Mónica angrily tells her father, "I'm not telling you again!" She loves Pepe and she don't love Fraud. Then she apologizes, tells Enzo she loves him very much, but if she loses Pepe she'll never forgive herself. Enzo sighs heavily and asks himself why, since he's raised her from a baby, she's so much like her mother?
At breakfast, after Chela is toasted with orange juice, Lupita announces to the family that she thinks she's in love. (Who does this?) She promises to bring him to the house but asks them not to scare him off by making a big fuss.
A man we've never seen before sits in his study, surrounded by recording industry awards, and gazes mournfully at a photo of Manuel, Ana's would-be boyfriend. (I don't recognize the lad right away because he has a much better haircut in the photo.) In a flashback, hotheaded Slightly Younger Manuel tells his dad that all he wants is to be in a band. Dad says those are a dime a dozen and Manny's turning his back on his future. Manny says he doesn't want to study business and inherit the company. "All you've done is embitter my life!"
SLAP!! "Shut up, ingrate!" Dad shouts. Manny pulls himself up from the floor and storms out. Back from the flashback, Dad seems pained by the memory.
Pancho tells Chela he's happy she's back. Temo gets them to promise that they won't fight. (Ha!) Everyone cheers, including Chucha and Goya. Popeye is even given a line ("woof!").
Manuel has apparently disclosed his privileged background to one of his bandmates, and I guess everything's smoothed over beween them. He admits that things aren't going well with Ana because she likes someone else.
Pancho tells Chela that Rebeca is coming over later. Yes, she knows that Chela's there, she doesn't like it, but she'll have to accept it. This seems to cheer Chela up, but then Pancho reiterates that Rebe is the woman he loves. Chela's smile disappears. Pancho says Chela is his family, and she and Rebe will have to accept one another.
Pepe, Lupita, and Ana sit around at school when Alex shows up with a flower for Lupita and offers to treat them all to coffee. Pepe says he's hungry, so make it a breakfast. Alex agrees and says he's paying. Ana says "in that case, we'll get it to go." Pepe makes a snide remark about Alex's Daddy paying for it. Alex, whose father didn't even show up at the jail to yell at him and is probably dead, mumbles something like "he's not the one who paid" (I'm not actually sure) which kinda makes things awkward for a second. Lupita tells her siblings to behave. Alex wants to shake hands and make friends with Pepe. Pepe hesitates and asks if Fraud will disown him as a friend. "Fraud doesn't tell me what to do," Alex says, and they shake hands. Awwww!
Apparently Ana's attention wandered while this monumentally crucial alliance was being forged. She daydreams about Manuel and wonders how he's going to convince her.
Something is terribly, terribly wrong with Beto. He's enthusiastic, he's energetic, he's optimistic. They could get invaded by space aliens right now and it would be fine, because the numbers are gorgeous! Beeeeeauuuuuutiful! These profits are unprecedented! (Someone please double-check his math - he doesn't seem very reliable at the moment.) Beto says they owe it all to Pancho. Pancho tries to be modest about it. Beto adds that there's a rumor that Pancho and Rebe are an item. Rebe, who has been snuggling up to Pancho happily in front of Beto, tells him not to pay too much attention to rumors. Beto floats out of the room on happy invisible clouds.
Candy tells Pina she doesn't feel like doing the show today. Pina says she doesn't understand but tells her it's okay. Then she thought-bubbles that she doesn't want to tolerate Candy a moment longer and knows what she has to do to make sure that this is the end of Candy's life as an "artist."
Candy has filled Chela in on her great plan to carry on with Vince in secret. Chela tells her to have dignity, and Candy says "dignity hasn't done you much good." Ouch. she apologizes. Chela says Candy deserves better than to be treated as the "other woman." If Vince loves her so much, why doesn't he divorce Pina? Candy flashes back to Vice saying "for reasons that don't matter now, I foolishly put all of my property in Pina's name. If she finds out about us, she'll want revenge - she'll squash me like a cockroach!" Candy declines to share this with Chela and simply asks her to keep the secret from Pancho. "Candy, when are you going to have a normal relationship?" Ha, there's some irony. She apologizes.
Vice goes to see Dr. Cuckoo. He doesn't have an appointment, but insists it's an emergency. He didn't understand the story about the beetle and the cicada. The doctor does not agree that this is an emergency, but is too distracted to listen to Vice's panicked babbling because the clocks are about to strike the hour. CUCKOO! CLANG! CHIME! WHEEZE!! It's six o'clock.
Pancho lectures Rebeca about the friction between her and Chela. (Boy, I sure hope this part of the story is almost done.) Rebe is convinced that Chela's still plotting to win Pancho's love.
Now that the clocks have chimed, the doctor is just regular crazy and not top-of-the-hour crazy. He switches seats with Vice and instead of clarifying the cicada/beetle story, he tells a new one:
A giraffe wanted to get to the leaves at the top of the tree, but no matter how he stretched, he couldn't reach. An ant called up to him, "give me a lift and I'll get you those leaves." So the giraffe put the ant up in the tree and thanks to the ant, the giraffe was able to dine on the tenderest leaves at the very top of the tree. (I guess the ant climbed to the top and cut the leaves down.)
"How does the story end?" asks Vice.
"The ant ended up at the chiropractor."
"Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that. Tell me something, doctor - who paid the chiropractor?"
"The ant, of course - who else? Hahaha!"
The doctor tells Vice that Candy is an addiction. He has to stop seeing her ASAP to avoid financial and emotional ruin and end up crazy forever.
Pancho and Rebeca are about to start dancing in his office when Enriqueta walks in on them. Some fancy-pants magazine wants to do a piece on Pancho. He doesn't want to do it. Too bad, it's going to be good for the company.
Dr. Cuckoo calls Enzo to tell him of Vice's unscheduled visit. Enzo reminds him that he hired him to break up Vice and Candy. Dr. assures Enzo he can take care of it.
Pepe tries to sneak up on Mónica in her office, but his phone gives him away. She tries to ignore him while he turns down a date from from some girl he danced with at the party. He tells the girl on the phone that he's already in love. Rather than be charmed, Mo asks him about Celeste and he gives another smooth Pepe answer about how much he prefers Mo. Mo is grumpy and says he sounds a lot like Frauddie. Pepe said if their relationship were a little more serious, he wouldn't pay any attention to anyone else, not even Celeste. She says she already told her father she loves him, but they're not a "we" yet, she needs a little more time. He says she can have all the time she needs. (I think she needs a good five or six minutes.)
And now for the news you've all been waiting for: the bathrooms at the Casa Popular Daycare are coming along nicely. Whew! Alex gives Lupita some earrings. (I would have asked for Granny's house instead.) She regrets that she doesn't have anything for him. "Yes you do!" "Where?" "Right here!" And he kisses her.
Candy and Ana eat ice cream. Ana still disapproves of Candy being with Vince. She rehashes about the band and the guys wanting to be her boyfriend. She won't reveal who's the guy she really likes, but he doesn't know she exists. And she thinks Vice should get divorced.
Fraud is at the gym doing bench presses. "One... two... three..." Alex approaches. "...hundred," Fraud adds. He notes Alex's serious air and guesses that "the girl" broke up with him, or maybe it's "what happened to your parents." No, that's not it. He just warns Fraud not to expect too much of him and then he won't be disappointed.
So Mara, the lady from the magazine, is meeting with Pancho and Rebe. He calls her "Lara" by mistake, eek. In fact, he uses more wrong words than usual, with Rebe constantly correcting him. He talks about Candy's scandal at the Paraíso and says he doesn't want to be famous. (Now he calls her "Rara.") She says all of Mexico already knows his story. They just want to show his human side. (Wait, what side has he been showing so far? Cyborg?) Rebeca shows her to the door. Pancho asks Rebe to be with him when they do the photos; she says no, he'll be with his family and everything will be fine. FAMOUS LAST WORDS!
At dinner, Pancho yells for Candy so loudly it upsets the dog. He tells the family about the magazine coming to the house to do a feature on them. (This time he says the woman is "Amara.") They'll soon be the most famous family in Mexico!
It turns out that Pina is friendly with Mara. Pina wants Mara's magazine to do a story about Pina Opina and say something about Candy that will ruin her forever.
Pancho says the whole household will be included - even Chucha, Goya, Chacho, and Popeye. Chucha asks about Nico. (Last time we saw him, I think he was planning to have a colonoscopy... and he NEVER CAME BACK!!) He's gone to visit his sick mother. Now Chucha and Goya are eying Chacho like he's the last man on earth. Candy is all excited and regales us with an apparent product placement for a hair treatment that she didn't buy from Avon. Maybe it will make her hair fall out and she'll have to use an Avon product to fix it.
Mara says there's no way she can print any intrigue about Candy, but agrees to do a story about "Pina Opina" in general. Pina wants them to do it tomorrow so it will be in the very next issue. Mara says she can't do it tomorrow and the next issue's already full because of a last-minute story they're doing. (Strangely, she does not mention WHAT that last-minute story is!)
Alone, Pina wonders what kind of story could possibly be more important than her radio show.
Chacho is excited to hear that Chela's here to stay, and asks about her alleged boyfriend. She says he moved in with his mama in a faraway town. There is more exciting chattering, but Pancho's head is someplace else. "I'm thinking about something I have to do tomorrow," he says mysteriously.
Next morning, he takes out his phone and fluffs his hair. It must be time to take pictures!
Next time (ONE HOUR EARLIER STARTING MONDAY):
Popeye dons a necktie for the photo session. Elena tells a Televisa microphone that she's pregnant by Frauddie. Mara's mag identifies Chela as Pancho's wife. Will hilarity ensue?Labels: familia
© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.