Caray, Caray!

Part I

Sometimes I think there is a deal between the bridal industry and the networks that produce telenovelas. This thought first occurred to me in 2000 when Aracely Arámbula had no fewer than four bridal gowns in Abrazame Muy Fuerte: one in the bridal shop that she rejected, one for the interrupted wedding to José Maria, the third for the completed wedding to José Maria, and the fourth for the finale wedding to Carlos Manuel. Little did I realize at the time that this was close to the norm.

Here we will look at weddings that didn't or almost didn't happen and two which did but which will always be associated with tragedy.

Dirty Dozen #4: Sexual Predators

This particular class of male vermin primarily preys – or attempts to prey – upon innocent and/or wealthy females. His modus operandi can be seduction but often is rape or kidnapping. Usually perverse, and always achieving his most intense orgasmic experiences by inflicting pain, his usual motive is greed. Usually a smooth talker, often capable of moving in the upper echelons of society, he can get away with quite a lot before anyone finds out what he is really about. He may or may not be married, but he is always on the prowl because his appetite for others' pain is bottomless.

Who is the most evil of them all?

Villains.  Where would melodramatic telenovelas be without them? As in grand opera, they are colorful and over-the-top evil, with grand gestures and outrageous fashions on the women and basso-profundo voices on the men. They come in distinct (stereo)types and for our purposes we will discuss them by classification. Therefore we will examine a series of Dirty Dozens to determine who is the most evil within each. Controlling parent villains will also include their usual surrogates (steps, uncles, aunts, grands), peers will include same-sex siblings, and there is a third category yet to be named. This week's Dirty Dozen – in this author's mind – is perhaps the most lethal of them all:

Berta receives a shot in the back that was meant for Renata.

Berta falls to the ground and everyone starts screaming. Fina is in absolute shock and doesn't put up a fight when Jero and Matias de-mask her. Nata holds a wounded Roberta in her arms as Gonzo cradles Berta's head and Regina yells for someone to call an ambulance. Fina snaps out of it and rushes to her daughter's side. "Why, why, Roberta?!" Fina cries. "The bullet wasn't meant for you!"

A trickle of blood escapes from the corner of Berta's mouth as she struggles with her last words. "You hurt me ever since I was born. Your love killed me." Fina cries that everything she did was for Berta. "You took everything away from me, even Renata's love." Berta sobs and then looks into her sister's eyes. "Please, Renata, forgive me!" Nata begs Berta not to say such things. "I would have done the same for you!" Nata says.

"Renata, I hated you because I didn't know how to love you." Berta cries. Flashes of Berta's life replay and prove to us that it's true. Ever since Berta was a child, Fina poisoned her against Renata. Roberta begs for forgiveness one last time before her eyes close and she goes limp in Nata's arms. Fina cradles her daughter's body as Nata sobs and Gonzo stares into the distance with grief. All the Monterrubios crowd around in shock and in tears.


Fina loses all composure and pleads with Berta to wake up. "Fina paid for her sins in the worst way," Honorio says. "She lost her daughter, the only person she ever loved, by her own hand."

"NO!" Fina screams helplessly at the skies.


Fina huddles in the corner of a padded cell, cooing to a doll in her arms. A doctor tells Gonzo and Regina that Fina has not come out of shock and will probably never recover from such a tragedy. Gonzo takes a last look at Fina and says goodbye for good. Fina cries as she recalls all the horrible things she has done.



Elsewhere, Honorio and Constanza take a stroll together. She is the happiest woman in the world and Honorio couldn't be happier either. Good and bad memories of the past replay and it's clear the two of them make will continue to overcome the odds together. Beso!


Over at Hacienda La Bonita, Carlos and Jero tinker around in the laboratory crafting the perfect wine. Inside, Manuela and Matilde help set up a baby crib decked out in shades of blue. Nata is having a boy to be named Rafael. The ladies chat happily until Nata's water breaks unexpectedly. Nata is worried because it's two months too early but the ladies reassure her as they help her out to the car.

Jero and Carlos teach Anibal the ropes of the wine business. Matilde hurries in to give Jero the news about Renata and the guys hurry out. Meanwhile, Padre and Antonio drive Marina to the hospital because she too has gone into labor.

Carlos and Mati drive Jero and Nata to the hospital. Tony calls Jero's cellphone to tell him that Marina has also gone into labor. "History is repeating itself!" Nata says. "My sister and I were born on the same day and in the same place." Jero does his best to comfort Nata through the pain.

In the hospital, Jero is right by Nata's side as baby Rafael is born happy and healthy, if two months early. The happy family welcomes their little boy into the world.


Across the hall, Marina is having a difficult time and they have to perform an emergency C-Section. The babies are in distress. A nurse comes to get Jero, which leaves Nata to have some quality bonding time with her baby.

The doctor tells Jero that he is worried about Marina's condition. The babies will probably be fine but Marina's body is absorbing the amitotic fluid; the fluid has contaminated her lungs and could cause them to collapse.

Nata chats contentedly with Mati and Carlos. Baby Rafael is safe in an incubator. Carlos muses that it must be marvelous to be a parent. Matilde agrees and can't wait to make babies with Carlos. Gonzo and Regina call and Nata tells them they're officially grandparents.

Jero coos over his twin baby girls when Marina wakes. She cries as she holds them both but suddenly has trouble breathing. Marina asks to talk to Renata as soon as possible.

Jero wastes no time in grabbing a wheelchair for Nata and bringing her into Marina's room. Nata holds Marina's hand and tries to reassure her that everything will be okay. Sadly, Marina is a doctor and she knows exactly what's happening to her. Marina asks Nata to take care of her daughters. "You can become their mother. Love them like they were your own daughters."

Jero and Nata remain firmly in denial that Marina is dying but she is persistent. "I wish it were true that I was going to live. I would have loved to raise my daughters and watch them grow up. At least you will have the privilege of being a mother, Renata. I will be a part of their past, Jero, but you and Nata are their future. I could never find better hands to leave them in." By now, everyone (including me) is crying copiously. Nata promises with her whole heart to love and care for Marina's daughters.

Jero caresses Marina's hair as she starts fading away. "Jero, you were the love of my life. You gave me the most beautiful gift in the world by making me a mother. Take care of them and protect them." Jero swears on his life that their daughters will know how much their mother loved them. The last thing Marina asks is that one of the babies be named after her and the other be named Irene after Marina's own mother.

Jero and Nata sob as they promise to fulfill Marina's requests. The three of them hold hands as Marina passes away in peace.


Nata and Jero beg Marina not to die but it's not to be. "Sevillanas Del Adios" plays while Nata and Jero grieve.

After the grieving process that is the commercial break, we're back at the mental hospital. Fina walks around the courtyard and sees a vision of Roberta, looking ghostly in a cranberry colored dress.


"I thought you were dead!" Fina says. "I didn't die. You killed me." Berta says cooly.

Split second second flashes of Berta's death appear. "Of course you killed me. Your hate for Renata finally ending by destroying me." Fina squeaks she only wanted the best for Berta. "Love is the best thing in the world, Mamá, but you never knew how to love. Thank God I repented before I died; it made all the difference because I am in peace far away from you. Gonzo, Regina, and Renata's love saved me. You and I will never be reunited again."

Fina cries that she will never let Berta go but Berta stays strong. "I paid my dues. You no longer have the power to control my life or my soul. You were the architect of your own destiny." Berta cries as she says goodbye to her madre one last time. Fina pleads with Berta not to leave and tries to hug her but Berta dissolves before Fina can touch her.


Fina is left to wander, cry, and scream for Berta as ominous voices hum in the background. She rants and raves until the nurses come to sedate her. Fina will remain in the hospital, eaten alive with grief and guilt until the day she dies.

Gonzo, Constanza, and Honorio chat at a cafe and are joined by Matias and Adriana. They just came from the doctor's office and have great news: they are having a baby! Gonzo, Connie, and Hon are beside themselves with happiness. (In one way or another, the baby will be blood related to all three of them: Gonzo and Hon's grandchild and Connie's second niece/nephew. Telenovela genetics!) "It's the beginning of a new generation of Monterrubios!" Gonzo exclaims. Adri is proud to call herself part of the family. Everyone celebrates their good fortune.


Years later at La Bonita, Rafael has grown into a handsome little boy and identical twins Marina and Irene are equally adorable. Renata joins them in the living room with a baby girl in her arms (who I assume has to be named Regina).



Abuela Regina helps wrangle the kids because today they're having a huge family reunion at The Wine Fair (La Feria del Vino, the same lovely festival where Nata and Jero stomped grapes together years before). Nata is doubly excited because Jero is going to present their new wine: San Rafael, named after their son.

The festival is in full swing and absolutely everyone is there to celebrate. Gonzo arrives with Honorio and Constanza, who have their grandchildren with them. Hon holds his granddaughter's hand while Connie holds her baby grandson.


Adriana and Matias stroll with them proudly. Connie remarks on Gonzo's status as an Awesome Grandpa because he has five grandchildren by Nata and Jero and two by Matias and Adri. Gonzo is happy to have seven healthy, happy grandchildren. Honorio admits he never imagined how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren. He's crazy about them!

Ines and Isidro chat by the bar and Andrescito has grown into a dashingly handsome young man. Isidro wears Ines down into allowing Andres to have a glass of wine. Ines gushes to Connie about how proud she is of Andres; he's going to medical school next year to help children with cancer who are going through what he did.

More arrivals to the party: Alfonsina (in a fetching orange gown) with young Luz in tow, Lazaro and Karina with a son the spitting image of Laz, and Matilde with a slumbering toddler in her arms. These are some seriously fertile lands at La Bonita!


Carlos, Jero, Anibal, and Alison wait anxious at their table for the judges of the wine tasting. A few scary-looking guys in suits do all kinds of pretentious things to Jero's sample and then move on.

Nata and her brood arrive and Jero wastes no time in showering everyone with love. The results of the wine judging are in: the winner is Vino San Rafael from Hacienda La Bonita! Cheers erupt as Jero, Lazaro, and Carlos hop onto the stage to accept the award.

Jero thanks the judges for their recognition and dedicates the award to the memory of his brother Rafael. Without him, Jero never would have come to live on such blessed land. Clips from Jero and Rafa's childhood play as Jero continues his speech. Thanks to Rafa, Jero meant the love of his life. "That's me!" Nata shouts from the crowd. LOL.

Jero thanks all the hacienda workers, especially his great friends and co-workers Carlos and Lazaro. "I loved my brother and I loved my brother's dreams. We will defend his land and all his ideas. This is for you, Rafa!"

The festivities at an end, Renata and Jero spend precious time in the fields with their children. Each of them crisply dressed in traditional white clothing, they stomp grapes together as a joyous and united family.



As their love story comes to a close, Renata and Jero stand alone in the grape stomping pit at sundown. The theme song plays triumphantly in the background.


"You are the sum of all my dreams," Jero says. "Thank you for making me feel what I had never felt before. I am much more in love with you than the first day I met you."
"And I with you." Renata agrees.
"Why?" Jero asks.
"Porque cuando me enamoro, se detiene el tiempo." They say in unison.
"Because when I fall in love, time stops."


Renata and Jero kiss passionately in front of the glorious setting sun as we say goodbye to a story well told.


Queridos amigos, I'm so honored to have been a recapper for you. This show has gotten me through some hard times and some great times - I'm sad to see it go. It feels like saying goodbye to an old friend.

To recappers Cheryl, Jules, Elna June, Lila, Marta Ivette, Sylvia, Carlos, Vivi, and absolutely every commenter: thank you so much for your wit, conversation, and friendship. I'm so proud to be part of this community and having someone to laugh and cry with is priceless. I will miss our daily chats like crazy but you'll always be able to find me lurking around. I am a proud telenovela addict and will never be able to give it up completely.

Now let's party!