Caray, Caray!

I’m going to have to catch up quickly, my memory of some details is getting fuzzy being weeks behind. Let’s see what we can do to catch up.

Alicia tells Marcia of her plan to steal Lety’s business plan work and present it as her own. Marcia gets her devil look and agrees that this is a good idea. For some reason Marcia has started to be jealous of Lety and the fact that Fernando is nice to her. She has now reached the status of the stupidest woman of all time. She has caught him cheating with all sorts of hotties, now she’s up in arms about La Fea. She has real issues and needs to work on them, I think. I don’t even know what else to say about this.

I do have one other thing about Marcia – I think she’s a robot too. She never blinks. She has only a couple facial expressions, most famously the devil/dog baring teeth look. But most noticeably, SHE DOESN’T BLINK. I swear. I look really hard ever time she’s on camera. No blinking. Somebody needs to research and see if her real name is “model x4500” or something.

Paula Maria the receptionist gets the entire Club de Las Feas together to have a big cry about how her boyfriend dumped her. I guess this whole scene is to establish that she’s a single mom who has trouble with men. She’s still hot though, we are reminded, because as soon as she leaves and gets on the elevator, Omar (Vice-Horndog, to Fernando’s Horndog-in-Chief) immediately tries to move in on her in a manner that would look over the top in a porno, here it looks beyond ridiculous. Nevertheless, she swoons and acts a little like she’s having an orgasm just from Omar hitting on her. Really an uncomfortable scene.

Omar didn’t waste any time, next thing you know he’s repeating an earlier scene of being at a bar with some woman, with another woman to spare sitting there too, on the phone with Fernando trying to convince him to come out. Again, Fernando can’t go, as Marcia has managed to get her hooks into him for the evening. After Fernando gets off the phone, he starts making out with Marcia in his office (he is the president and you know what presidents do in their offices). Lety walks in on them and sees what they are doing, she goes and hides in her office and sniffles from sadness and jealousy. She wants Fernando to be putting little kisses on that nice moustache of hers. Bleah it made me shiver just to write that.

We now meet Ariel again, he arrives for the meeting and is introduced to Lety. He is speechless that this Fea is the secretary for the president of the company.

Alicia follows through on her plan to steal Lety’s work and pass it off as her own. She is really in charge of getting coffee and snacks, but when she waltzes in to the meeting with the business plans she told Lety she would ‘deliver’ for her, nobody bats an eye as she pretends like she did the whole thing. Everybody takes a quick look and Don Humberto comments on what a good job she did with it.

Lety drowns her sorrows in some food all alone, but the Club de Las Feas invites her to come eat with them, which improves her spirits a bit.
In the meeting, the pissing contest continues over Fernando getting to be the president. Ariel pouts and whines, Marcia finally yells at him that she voted against him because until now, he never showed the slightest bit of interest in the company. Ariel pouts some more. Something about this family – Marcia doesn’t blink, Ariel is unable to move his lips. They are stuck in pout.

Lety wants to say that the work was hers and not Alicia’s, but can’t figure out how to do it without being a whiner. I say be a whiner, but that’s me. She talks to her mom on the phone, she tells her that she is thinking of quitting before she gets fired. Why does she think she’ll get fired? Who knows. She worries a lot.

The employees throw a little retirement party for Don Humberto, he is flattered, so flattered in fact that he stays for a whole five minutes before bailing out.

Fernando asks Alicia to make another report for him since her first was so good, she stutters and stammers about how much time she needs for it, uh, well see, uh, etc. Fernando asks Lety if Alicia did in fact do that business plan or if it was Lety’s work. Again Lety says nothing, but this time looks smug, since she senses Alicia is about to hang herself. Alicia goes back to her desk and worries about what to do since she has no clue how to do the work Fernando asked for.

Fernando and Omar take a break from chasing tail to do some work. They discover that the original business plan that Fernando wrote up neglected to take into account some debt and interest. Here is where I have to suspend even more disbelief. I am an accountant by trade, it is IMPOSSIBLE to prepare a financial summary of a company and ‘overlook’ debt. It is a principle component of a company’s financial situation. Do you ever consider your personal financial situation and ‘forget’ the money you owe? “Dang I should be a millionaire, where does all my money go? OH YEAH – my mortgage, car, credit cards…….” So, two things are possible here – the accountant who prepared the information that Fernando used is stupid or crooked, or Fernando himself has absolutely no clue about this sort of thing. Both are very very possible. The finance guy, Olarte, is indeed an idiot. And Fernando would only care about debt if it had boobs. The logical thing to do here would be to come clean, but this is America after all! No wait - it’s Mexico, but apparently they have been paying attention. Rule number one is cover your ass. Usually the lying is to protect stock price or something, in this case they can’t come clean because Ariel would use it to push for a re-vote for the presidency.

Saimon the dapper messenger offers to give Paula Maria a ride home but she declines. Poor guy, he’s always around trying to win her over but she thinks he’s a clown. Obviously, then, at the end of the show they are sure to get together. That’s my guess. She DOES, however, quickly accept Omar’s offer of a ride, right in front of Saimon, He makes an awesome sniffle sniffle I’m not gonna cry face.

The next day Alicia decides to try and work an angle. She asks Omar for help on the work that Fernando assigned, knowing that she can never do it alone. She also wants to win Omar over to her side, that will help keep her in good with Fernando. He takes a look at her cleavage and her short skirt and readily accepts. Meanwhile, Lety and Tomas are at Lety’s house working on the same project, but in this case it will actually get done.

Lety confesses to her mother that she is only Fernando’s secretary, not his assistant. She must have been weak from the lack of sleep, she and Tomas stayed up half the night working. This Tomas guy sure gives a lot for free. It has every indication of him being hot for her so he helps her so much, but that’s not the case. He is in loooooooooove with Alicia, just from seeing her picture in a magazine. He cut out the picture and laminated it. Aaahhh – now I know. He’s always begging Lety to introduce him to Alicia, that’s why he is kissing up so much. Did you catch the part back there? He cut out Alicia’s picture and LAMINATED it. Stalker alert. Holy cow.

The scene at Alicia’s apartment – she is cooking spaghetti and Omar is openly ogling her. He has the constipated look again, the one where he is consumed by lust but really just looks like he needs to drink some coffee to get the system back in order. They talk about nothing and eat dinner. Omar is trying to get her to have more wine. And more. And a little more. It works. By the time Alicia sits down at the computer, Omar is nibbling on her neck. You can imagine the rest.

Lety gets the work done and puts it on CD to take it back to work. She takes the little microbus to work, it only slows down in front of Conceptos this day instead of actually stopping. Lety valiantly tries to do a Keanu Reeves in Speed style disembarkment while the bus is moving, but of course she takes a huge spill, trashing her stocking and her knee. The envelope containing the CD with the work slides away behind a large potted plant but Lety doesn’t notice. I see more Fawlty Towers in our future.

Fernando wants the work from Lety, she can’t find it and starts freaking out. Her lip and eye twitch are working overtime here. Lety was on the phone with her father when Fernando asks, so RoboPapa overhears Fernando speaking rather harshly with Lety. He is immediately pissed and is going to come down to her work to have a word with him. Don’t **** with RoboPapa, we have learned.

Meanwhile, Omar and Alicia are late late late for a meeting. Fernando is really steamed about it. Lety says with a grin “do you think they are together?” Fernando smiles like a 12 year old and says “I don’t know! Maybe! Do you think?” before snapping out of it and ordering Lety back to work. Omar and Alicia show up together shortly after, looking like they slept in their clothes. Fernando starts to pace back and forth and chews them out. He stops and sniffs them. “El Mismo Jabon!” Fernando the bloodhound has deduced that they used the same soap! Is your boss allowed to sniff you? I didn’t think so. The best part of this scene is seeing Alicia’s hair look limp, like everybody in that one episode of Seinfeld when they got the low-flow shower heads.

I’ll be back soon with the latest edition of Fawlty Conceptos, see you then.

Labels: fea-e