Caray, Caray!

As we all suspected, Roman and Dork had no intentions of going out with Lety. Roman seems to think this whole idea of inviting her out, then standing her up, is the funniest joke ever. In truth, it is the dumbest joke ever. Beavis and Butthead could come up with a better plan.

Huh huh uh huh huh Hey Beavis – let’s like, call Daria and say we’ll be at the mall, and then, like, not go. Huh huh.

Hrnh heh heh hrnh Yeah it’s like, she’ll go, and then like, we won’t be there. Hrnh heh heh. That will RULE! Hrnh heh. FIRE FIRE FIRE!!

Predictably, the whole plan to go out falls apart. After successfully appealing her RoboPapa’s decision to lock her up forever, with her Mama’s help of course, Lety gets all dolled up in her Grandma’s finest dress and sits by the window waiting. Mama checks in occasionally to see why she’s still sitting at the door waiting, when are these Pendejos showing up to get her? Finally one of them has the brilliant idea to call Roman and see what the deal is. I usually reach this point in about 30 seconds, it took them about two hours. “Lety, there’s this thing. It’s called a telephone. Perhaps we should give it a try.” “Are you SURE Mama? I’m scared.” Lety calls Roman, who happens to be just sitting there staring at nothing when the phone rings.

At this point I started laughing hysterically and had to pause the show. My wife thought I was insane. But the shot of Roman sitting on the couch staring at nothing when his phone rings just KILLS me. Like he thought “I’ll play this awesome prank on this chick, then I’ll completely waste the evening sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing, and THEN, be dumb enough to answer the phone when she finally calls.” I don’t have any history of standing up dates, but I can only assume the process does not involve sitting by the phone waiting for the person you just blew off to call. What an idiot.

Roman answers, gives Lety some line about going to the store for his mom or something, and says he’ll be by at 9:00 to get her. Lety is excited all over again. Hours pass and nobody shows, Lety is very sad and Mama tries to comfort her, to no avail. Lety cries in her room and writes in her diary about how alone she feels. Mama tells Papa the whole deal, he is livid and swears vengeance on the souls of his ancestors, etc. Or something like that, he was wheezing a lot and he’s hard to understand. He’s like a super wheezy Mexican Captain Kirk. “I…… will find…… those kids and……. kill them.”

We get one quick show of Roman and Dork at some club, smoking and drinking with some hoochies. Dork asks Roman “shouldn’t we call her?” or something like that, Roman gives the “pfff give me a break” face and waves him off.

In the morning Lety tells Tomas what happened, he bowleggedly stomps off to talk some sense into those ruffians. He gets to their turf, the corner where they show how cool they are by having nothing to do and nowhere to go, and demands that they go see Lety and apologize. Roman pops him in the eye, somehow not breaking his Harry Caray glasses but giving him a shiner. Tomas slinks off.

Now it’s RoboPapa’s turn. When Tomas shows up with a black eye, RoboPapa gets out of him who the kids are that didn’t try to take advantage of his daughter. All men are evil and only want to hump Lety, but even worse are those who don’t even try. I guess. He won’t let her go out, but when some guys don’t take her out, he’s pissed. This guy has some serious issues. I really wish they would tell us something about what he does for a living, or show a clip of him coming into work one day to show everyone else in the office rolling their eyes and avoiding him. “oh jeez there he is, maybe he’ll leave me alone today, please God I’m begging you, I’ll come to church every week…….”

RoboPapa lurches off to where Roman and Dork hang out with their entourage and starts yelling at them (you……. kids……. desgraciados…… rrarrrrrgggghhhh….. wheeeeeeze…..). Roman answers with the equivalent of “screw you dude what are you gonna do about it” and RoboPapa turns into JET LI! He punches Roman in the face, then when Dork comes over to help out (following standard Ninja protocol by attacking only one at a time) RoboPapa grabs his shoulder and gives him a knee to the family jewels. Awesome! Some of the most atrociously choreographed fighting I’ve ever seen, but still a fantastic scene. Watching Dork keel over after RoboPapa kneed the air next to his left knee was thisclose to looking like the real thing. RoboPapa proudly shambles back towards his car as the gang of ruffians writhe in pain on the sidewalk. There may have been police in the area, but they were likely stunned by the fighting prowess of RoboPapa and were reluctant to get involved, lest in his rage RoboPapa kicked ALL their asses.

Lety goes to work and tells the whole story to Paula Maria, who sympathizes. “Yes Lety, while you are muy fea and I’m built like a centerfold, I feel your pain.” Regardless, it’s nice to see the ladies of Conceptos being nicer to her and becoming her friends. In fact, later that day Lety finally gets into El Club de Las Feas. They finally realized that ostracizing someone for being ugly was kind of ironic and invited her in.

When she finally gets upstairs to the office, Lety is thanked by Fernando for all her help in pulling the wool over Marcia’s eyes the day before in regards to Carla Laguna. Lety beams and loves him even more. Somehow her image of him is not tarnished by the fact that he just thanked her for helping him lie to his fiancée about another woman. Ahhhh what a man!

So the whole “Lety’s big night out with Roman and Dork” story was short and anti-climactic, with the exception of RoboPapa’s berserker rage the next day. Getting the next plotline started, Alicia happens to be listening at Lety’s door when she is on the phone with Mama, telling her that she’s going to surprise Fernando by working late to finish up a business plan for him that he needs for a big meeting the next day. Alicia decides that in the morning she’s going to intercept Lety and take the business plans from her, to then deliver to the meeting (along with coffee, tea, or me?) and take the credit for doing the plan. Also, I’m sure, she’ll wear some dress that would get her sent home from any office in the United States for being inappropriate for work.

More to come –
Chris

Labels: fea-e