Caray, Caray!

Alicia is listening to the horse guy on the phone with someone, reporting that the doctor said that Camila (the original horse) is too sick for the commercial and the replacement horse, Relampago, is very jumpy. He wonders if the model will be able to ride him. After he leaves, Alicia goes to Relampago's stall. She tries to make friends with him, flatters him, explains that she wants to be the model for the commercial, and asks him to do her a favor – throw Pilar! The horse seems to whinny in agreement. Tomas, skulking in the background, puts his fist against his mouth in horror.

Alicia goes on to give Relampago detailed instructions on how to throw Pilar. Not hard enough to cripple her badly, Alicia says. Just enough so she can't do the commercial. Then, later, she will ride him herself. (She tries to give the horse a hug, but he pulls away irritably.) She tells him that he has to make her look really good. (She tries to snuggle close again, and he pushes her away with his nose. She is annoyed, but quickly recovers.) She says she's going to be a big star. She makes kissies at him.

Tomas loses his balance and makes a noise. He hides before she can see him. She bids Relampago a fond farewell and runs away as quickly as those ridiculous shoes will take her.

Rodolfo & Sara

Sara is still trying to get a rise out of the security guy. She gropes him. She dances for him. Lola, PM, and Saimon cheer her on. He's not moving. I think he's dead. Lola thinks so too. Sara puts her head against his chest to listen. She says it feels good. She tries to put his arm around her, but it keeps falling away! Sara smiles contentedly.

After some more nagging from the peanut gallery, Sara dances for Rodolfo again, more like a stripper this time. A reverse-stripper who takes off other people's clothes... namely Rodolfo's. She removes his tie and whips him playfully with it. Lola pulls Sara away and puts the tie back on Rodolfo... on his head. They drag Sara away, kicking and screaming.

I, personally, am heartbroken. I was hoping to find out how far Rodolfo would let this go.

The commercial

Pilar is complaining about a bad smell. The makeup guy says he bathes three times a day. She retorts that the whole place smells terrible. And the heat is killing her. What kind of rinky-dink operation is this, anyway?

Plus, she's very displeased with her appearance. She can't decide whether it's the makeup or the hair; it's all awful. Irma points out that it's the same hair and makeup Pilar approved yesterday. Pilar snottily replies that that was before; today is different. She's in a different mood today, and wants to change everything. Irma offers to discuss it with Fern; Pilar doesn't want to. If she can't change her look, she won't do the commercial. (I say they should take her up on that offer and give the job to Yazmin for 1/10th the price.)

Outside, Gerardo (the lighting guy) explains that he needs to adjust his lighting for the model's clothing. Lety jokes there won't be much clothing to speak of. Fern mentions the possibility of the horse throwing Pilar. He explains that she will ride out on the horse, wearing a cape; swish swish swish in the breeze; she'll throw off the cape, revealing the underwear. Lety runs to fetch the underwear from Irma.

Pilar is telling the makeup guy to make her eyes more blue. (They are brown.) By now, she has on enough makeup to be a clown. Irma confides to Lety, who has just entered the trailer, that Luigi is a saint compared to Pilar. She is the most insufferable person Irma has ever met in her life. (Pilar is complaining about makeup guy's shaky hands. Her eyes are uneven. Etc.) Lety says you can tell me about this later, but right now I need the clothes. Irma gives them to her, but Pilar wants to see them first. She claims that red is her favorite color, and the clothes are the only thing she likes about this job.

Lety takes the cape and the red bra and thong. Pilar tells the makeup guy to go away for lunch. Apparently, he doesn't, because he's still there in the next scene. Outside, Fern and Gerardo continue to set up for the commercial. It seems that Fern is not expecting Pilar's horse ride to last very long! Fern expresses slightly more enthusiasm for the underwear than Lety would like.

Alicia approaches, hiding behind a fence. Tomas follows at a discreet distance. He overhears Fern talking about “ropa interior.” Apparently, Tomas didn't know this was going to be an underwear commercial. The prospect of seeing Alicia in underwear makes him giddy.

Gerardo says that red is a bad color to work with. (Wouldn't Luigi have known that?) Lety tells Fern that the red was the only thing Pilar liked about this production; she's not going to want to change it. Fern panics and stomps off to the trailer, followed by Alicia, who is followed by Tomas. A stray lighting man blocks Alicia's path. She tries to get around him, but can't. He asks her to get him a lemonade. She begins to protest indignantly, then realizes that she's wearing the waitress uniform. She says she'll bring it soon.

Inside the trailer, Pilar is still being difficult with the makeup guy. Irma tells Fern that her patience is running out. He feels the same way. He asks her for a blessing to sustain him. They do a breathing exercise together. Rejuvenated and refreshed, he confronts Pilar. He tells her that this look (clowny makeup and her hair down) is not what they had agreed upon. She tells him, “look, my image is my choice, not yours... Pavel.” Flustered, he mutters to Irma, “again with the Pavel.”

He lectures her about being prepared to do the commercial. It's not that complicated, he tells her. Instead, though, she wants him to tell her about his life. What's he been up to in the last few years? Does he still like ugly girls? (Referring to how Pavel dumped her in favor of his own assistant, a frumpy girl with a mustache.) Fern flashes back to kissing Lety at Omar's place.

Irma helps Fern redirect the conversation back to his favorite topic, the commercial. He says she's going to put on this cape. (Irma brings out the storyboard.) He describes the swishing beautiful satin cape and how it opens up, revealing... (He has to pause while the makeup guy has a minor conniption.)

Pilar interrupts. She didn't know anything about a cape. She wants to ride out in just the underwear. No cape. He says we're going to do it the way we contracted to do it. (Irma indicates the storyboard again.) She's going to wear the cape and open it up (makeup guy reacts again). Pilar disagrees.

Outside, Gerardo is explaining the finer technical points of color and video to Lety. He says the red would look fine if they were just doing it on film, but they're doing it on tape. (There was some tension between Luigi and Fern in the early months of this show when Fern tried to get Luigi to switch from film to tape; it was before I started watching, unfortunately. Maybe Luigi chose red specifically to spite Fern for making him switch to tape.) I think Lety also says the red looks trashy or cheap. Gerardo says they really need to use a different color. He asks Lety why her eyelid is twitching. She explains that it happens when she's nervous or worried.

Outside the trailer, Fern is just about ready to cancel the whole thing. Just then, who should show up but Ricardo and his entourage! Ricardo (no relation to Ricky Armstrong of Bella Life) wants to know how it's going. Fern says it's going great and Ricardo should immediately go off to whatever other commitments he may have. Just then, Lety runs up, screaming that they have to change the color of the underwear. Fern introduces her to Ricardo and his staff, and hurriedly suggests that they all go to the chow tent for some coffee.

Ricardo loves Julieta's mole. Fern thinks he's kidding, but Ricardo says no, it's awesome. Other events have elegant, sophisticated catering, but it's just for looks. This stuff is seriously wonderful. Julieta is charmed. :-)

Fern pulls Ricardo aside and says there's just one tiny little technical problem. They can't use the red underwear. It'll look awful on TV. But the model loves the red and she doesn't want to wear the cape. Ricardo says that's too bad – the commercial needs to be done the way it was storyboarded.

Julieta overhears this and is surprised – this is an underwear commercial?? She worries RoboPop will have a heart attack when he finds out. Fern asks Lety and her mother to discuss this someplace else. (They do. It's boring. They also wonder when RoboPop will get back with the salsa.)

Alicia (followed by Tomas) teeters back to the trailer, where Pilar is still tormenting the makeup guy. He excuses himself (perhaps to take one of his three daily baths) and Alicia enters. Pilar snidely asks if Alicia worked out all that unpleasantness with her credit card at the supermarket. Then she asks if Alicia still works at Conceptos – because today she's a waitress. Alicia says of course not – she's doing a movie nearby, playing a waitress. You see, she's an actress! Pilar scoffs, but Alicia insists that it's just one of her many facets. Soooooo... how's the commercial going, Pilar?

Pilar admits it's going poorly. They want her to go out there wearing a cape. Alicia offers sympathy and friendship, and says she overheard Fernando talking with the clients – they're not going to let Pilar have her way. Pilar sees this as an exciting challenge. Alicia says she has to get back to her movie set, and asks Pilar not to tell Fern she was there. She adds that Pilar is wearing way too much makeup – she (Pilar) should get them to fix it. She gets up and leaves.

Tomas, who has been peeping through the window, scurries underneath the trailer as Alicia exits, very pleased with herself. Tomas is so mesmerized by Alicia's retreating legs that he doesn't notice Sara, Lola, PM, and Saimon approach. They apprehend him, call him a voyeur, etc. He gives a false name (so they won't tell Lety he was there). Sara says the next time she sees him, she'll give him a knuckle sandwich. They drag him away. (Wait, shouldn't Rodolfo be doing this?) Alicia watches from a hiding place, wondering who this weird man is.

They drag Tomas to the country club entrance and throw him out. Lola and Sara want to go back to investigate a scream they just heard (more on that later). I think PM and Saimon talk about finding a secluded spot. Tomas tries to get back into the country club, but the guard doesn't want to let him through. As they are discussing this, they hear a siren. Tomas panics, thinking Sara has called to have him arrested, but it's just the policeman escorting RoboPop with the green salsa. Pop vouches for Tomas, and since the guard sees that Pop is friendly with a cop, he can't very well throw Tomas out. They find Saimon and PM sucking face in the parking lot. RoboPop chides them for carrying on in public. Tomas crouches in the car, trying not to get caught again. RoboPop explains to Tomas that they are Lety's friends. This worries Tomas. Now he can never show his face around Lety's friends?? Tomas asks RoboPop didn't he ever publicly show affection to Doña Julieta? Offended, Pop says what kind of a question is that?

Lety tries to console her panicky boss/boyfriend outside Pilar's trailer. He asks what would become of him, without her? She says he would be fine – he's smart and all that. He tells her she's an angel. She puckers up for a kiss. He almost goes for it, then pulls back – he doesn't think it's a good idea out in the open where everyone might see. He steels himself and goes back into the trailer. Lety waits outside.

Pilar has more complaints about her appearance. Fern says something about ten million pesos, but it doesn't work. He says Ricardo is here. Pilar says good – then he can see for himself what a disaster this production is. He says they still want to do it the way they originally agreed, with the satin cape. She doesn't want to hear about it from him. She tells him that she spoke to a woman from Conceptos who had fat legs and was wearing a waitress uniform. He doesn't know of any fat waitress at Conceptos. :-) She says if she can't have things her way, it's not going to happen at all. No cape. Fern is about to strangle her. The makeup guy pulls him away, begging him not to ruin his life getting blood on his hands, etc. He seems to enjoy groping Fern.

Fern leaves the trailer. His screams are heard all over the country club. The feas in the chow tent look around nervously. The film crew and Ricardo wonder what that sound is. Alicia gloats that Pilar must have just pulled out of the job. Fern tells Lety he feels better.

Lety has an idea. She says the worst thing that can happen to a diva is to meet a worse diva. Therefore, they should have Pilar speak to Luigi. (The makeup guy nods knowingly.) Fern thinks it's crazy to put two divas together, but Lety thinks it's the only way to get Pilar to listen. Fern is worried what Luigi will think of him if he asks him for help, but finally agrees to make the phone call.

Luigi is loafing in a gym, enjoying the scenery. He hasn't started filming yet. He asks Fern what sorts of silly things are happening over there in Mexico. He says it must be very difficult to do the underwear commercial without Luigi Lombardi. (He takes a moment to inspect the physique of a man in the gym. He gives his hearty approval.) Fern tells Luigi that Pilar is insufferable – even more so than Luigi. She won't go along with the storyboard. (Luigi is more interested in the men in the gym.) Luigi said he could fix the problem if he were there, but he's in Germany, thank God, so no, he can't help. Fern just wants to know what to do. Luigi throws a hissy fit, telling Fern not to yell at him because he's sensitive, he's very far from home, and he's lonely, and bored, his boyfriend is touring all over Germany and he's stuck there by himself. Then he says eh, he's not so lonely (surrounded by hot men). And he'll speak to Pilar.