Caray, Caray!

Fab and Flo return from wherever they were. Hugs all around. They want to know what's going on.

Squeaky meets with Sleazar. He looks unkempt and is drinking and smoking. They discuss some things, including the bet. I think he lusts for her.

Gonzo is giving a press conference from his office. I don't know what it's about. It's very brief. He dismisses the reporters, and they're dissatisfied. He reaches for some brandy, and shares it with some twerpy guy named Señor Sartori. They negotiate. He offers Mr. Twerpy the presidency of SLI.

I'm lost and get my dinner out of the microwave.

Cesar gets into a scuffle with some dude(s) on the street.

I realize that I don't watch Heridas, and that I've possibly had too much wine.

Some time later...

Pilar calls her friend and says yep, I knew it. Fern is Pavel. He just told me. No, he didn't say why. I'm going to find out why he dumped me for that ugly girl.

RoboPop says we're leaving NOW. He starts packing up their things. He explains to the cuartel that this place isn't suitable for his daughter. The Padillas are decent people.

Lety pulls her father aside and wants to know how he knows about Fern's lover. He says it doesn't matter, he just wants them out of here.

Martha is upset to see the Mom's mole leaving. Lola flips out as usual. RoboPop asks Lola to help them pack up their stuff. Lety protests - we're not leaving till we're finished working. She stomps off and privately frets aloud about her father's claim that Fern has a lover. She hopes he has misunderstood something. She debates all this with a tree which is coincidentally named Leticia. It's a somewhat one-sided debate. She wants to confront Fern about this.

Relampago is being prepped for Pilar's wild ride. Fern reminds Gerardo that it's going to be a one-take effort. Lety approaches. She wants to talk to Fern right away. He tries to brush her off - he's too busy. She gets snippy and mentions her father. Fern says Lety's father makes things needlessly difficult. She doesn't like that either. And along comes Pilar, glowing, telling Lety that Fern admitted to being Pavel. "What do you think of that, Lety?"

Lety tries to reply, but Fern interrupts. He wants to get to work. Lety demands to know what's going on. Pilar asks Fern why he lets Lety speak to him that way. As he backs away from Pilar, he furtively tries to explain it all to Lety with gestures, mouthed words, and eye-rolling. She catches on and tries not to crack a smile.

The feas wonder why RoboPop is so upset. PM and Saimon think it might be because he caught them groping and smooching. Irma lectures them. PMS approach RoboPop and apologize for their behavior. That's when they find out that it's Fern, not PMS, that he's unhappy with, because he says he wants Fern to apologize to him personally. He goes on and on about the filth of the world and so forth. Lola and Sara mutter to one another how it's a good thing he doesn't know they're doing an underwear commercial. RoboPop goes on to say that he wants Lety to quit Conceptos. He goes away to look for her.

He finds her over by the cameras. He points out to Lety Fern's alleged lover - Pilar. Lety tries to explain that they're not really lovers. She admits that she's aware of what's going on - he's lying to Pilar. So, now RoboPop's upset that Fern is a liar! Lety explains more about the situation (the "double life" story was her idea) and that they needed to tell her something to get her to ride the horse. Now he's upset that she's not upset about lying. Also, he has a headache. She protests some more, and he says fine, finish your commercial... but you're quitting this morning.

Fern takes a walk so he can do his Daily Rehash with Omar. Omar's in a bar with a couple of bimbos who smirk at one another but show no other signs of personality. Fern says he's worried about Lety. Omar, who still hasn't figured out yet that Fern likes Lety, thinks it's good for Lety to be a little jealous, but Fern isn't so sure. And he asks Omar to stop calling her "gargoylita." (Omar pauses to snort at one of his companions. She is charmed.) Fern tells Omar that the commercial is the least of his problems - Lety is more important. He doesn't want her to suffer.

Lety is sulking in a different tree (not Leticia), suffering. She is wondering if Fern could lie to her the way he's lying to Pilar. Just then, he comes walking by, and she asks him! He says no, of course not. She says he lies to Marcia, he lies to Pilar... why not lie to her too? Where would he draw the line? Something about telling his parents and the whole world about her lien on Conceptos.

He says that with her, he's as transparent as water. He has no secrets, no lies, no deceptions. She says she believes him, and will always trust him. Kis--

--but then she snaps out of it. She's just been standing there in front of him. He wants to explain about Pilar. He apologizes, and she explains that her father overheard him talking to Pilar, and now he's mad at both Lety and Fern and wants her to quit.

Oh, I finally get what this Pavel Pardo thing is about. Pavel Pardo is a famous soccer player. So that's why Fern keeps saying "Pavel Pardo" and talking about (not) being a soccer player. Duh. Anyway.

The feas discuss RoboPop's anger with Mom. They want to know what's so bad about Conceptos, and how there's probably not going to be any other place that he'll approve of either. Mom says she loves him with all her heart, but honestly, he can be so... so... old-fashioned? the feas suggest.

RoboPop approaches and says you can loaf some other time - it's almost time to eat. The feas cheer. Fern yells into a bullhorn, saying we're going to start. The feas all leave for the shooting area, leaving Mom and RoboPop. And Mom wants him to stick around to help her prepare to serve the food.

Ricardo wishes Fern luck. The feas wonder why Pilar is calling Fern Pavel. Lety explains. Pilar steps towards Fern, tosses her cape back, revealing her black "ropa interior," and says she needs a kiss for bravery. Lety twitches. Fern looks at Pilar the way he used to look at Lety. PM calls Saimon over. Saimon tells Pilar that Fern is a professional and can't go around kissing people for his clients, or something like that. Whatever - Pilar agrees to do it without the kiss.

Fern helps her up on the horse. Fern thanks Saimon. Saimon asks about a pay increase, but Fern can't discuss that right now. :-)

Mom tries to reason with RoboPop about the lying. He gets mad again and wants to go fetch Lety. Mom gives him some work to keep him out of trouble. He doesn't want to do it. He wants to find Lety. Now Mom says she doesn't have any sugar for the coffee. She asks him to go get him some, and while he's there (at the clubhouse I guess) perhaps he could catch up with his friends.

Now he KNOWS she's up to something. He asks why she doesn't want him to go see Lety. She says whuh, no, sure, you can go see Lety whenever you want. He says good - he'll go see her now. She tries to get him to come back, but he's gone.

Lety has an idea for the shot. She suggests slightly different cinematography to make it look more dramatic. Fern loves the idea and says she never stops surprising him. Everyone else loves the idea too. They set it up.

Pilar trots the horse up the path and throws her cape off. Just as it's hitting the ground, RoboPop runs into the frame, picks it up and tries to give it back to her. He's a little drunk, still, and he seems more worried that she'll catch a cold than anything else.

Everyone gapes. Fern says "I can't believe this." You really have to see this to get the full effect.

Mom prays out loud in the chow tent. It's a prayer to St. Jude - patron saint of lost causes. She prays that the commercial goes well and that her husband doesn't ruin it with his yelling.

RoboPop is ruining it with his drunken yelling. "Why didn't you tell me it was an underwear commercial?" Lety says she didn't think he'd like it. PM tries to tell him it's no big deal, but that annoys him further.

Mom shows up. I guess she decided to give St. Jude a little help. RoboPop asks if she knew that this was going to be an ad for intimate apparel. She says yes, and isn't it all so nice? The beautiful horse, the golf course, all the trees... Fernando, isn't it going to be nice? There, see, it's all good, let's go and let them work. He says he's not moving. The cuartel surrounds him and guides him away from the location.

Mom takes RoboPop back to the clubhouse to drink with his friends. She's very friendly to them this time and they welcome him like they've known him for a hundred years.

The commercial is re-shot. Pilar rides the horse, throws off the cape, plays with the horse's mane, walks around, climbs a tree, rides the horse some more... CUT! That's it! Technically that was two takes, but the first one didn't really count. (Apparently, Alicia's horseback tour of Santa Paz wore Relampago out.) Ricardo is thrilled. Everyone is thrilled. Saimon helps Pilar off the horse and goes on and on about how great she was, annoying PM who gets a little jealous. Mom yells that it's time for mole!

Fern and Lety hug and congratulate one another. "La amo, Lety," he says - but he says it in the same tone of voice that I'd say "I love you" to a coworker who brought me a donut. Still, it's progress. :-) He apologizes for his behavior, she forgives him, and they eat. Ricardo congratulates Fern again. Fern points out that they did it all without Luigi. Ricardo wants to see the first cut as soon as possible. He has to leave without eating.

Martha is pleased with the food. Everyone is. Mom brings a plate to Fern. He says it smells great. Pilar, who is clamped firmly to his arm, calls him Pavel in front of Mom and everyone, and suggests that they formalize their relationship. The crew members clap and cheer. Lety's face twitches like crazy.

Back at the bar, RoboPop is enjoying his drink, but still wants to talk about all the lying and such. His pals tell him they know Fern's dad Humberto Mendiola very well, they've been playing golf with him for years, and he's a good and honest man. RoboPop says Fern is a liar. He gets up from the table and says he's going to take his wife and daughter home. His friends detain him and tell him to forget about it. They get him to drink some more.

Lety is rehashing the Fern/Pavel stuff to the cuartel again. They discuss how they might convince Pilar that Fern is not Pavel. Lety mentions how he dumped her for an ugly girl. One of them says, "that could be any of us." Sara has an idea. They huddle and she tells them her idea. We don't get to hear it, but we find out that Lety doesn't approve!

Pilar is on the phone with her friend again. She says he didn't answer her about formalizing the relationship. And more I couldn't get.

The cuartel meet with Saimon in the parking lot and prepare their scheme. Saimon is confused, and they won't tell him what they're doing. There is more in this scene that I don't get. I think the mannequins are mentioned - maybe he was planning to take the mannequins back to wherever he got them.

Fern tells Pilar they "need to talk." She pretends not to recognize this ominous overture for what it is. Gerardo butts in and says he wants to pack up the equipment now, and how wonderful it is about him and Pilar. Fern smacks Gerardo impatiently. Then he has a change of heart and wants to help Gerardo pack up! Ger refuses and gives Fern a hug. Then he tries to hug Pilar. The crew all leave to pick up their equipment.

Sara bursts in and dramatically hugs Fern and says she's been thinking about him all day. She says she's filled with jealousy. She feels like shouting to all the world, all that has happened between them, etc. Fern catches on and scolds her for blabbing their secret that she swore she would never tell. Mom and RoboPop enter and watch with interest, wondering what's happening. (I guess he finished his drink.) You'd think they'd give up wondering about all this madness by now. Fern starts singing about his love for Sara.

Pilar gets mad and asks him why he didn't tell her about this ugly girl. He says she's not a fea, she's a dientona ("toothy girl," thanks Alma!) - that's completely different! She hits him with a flower. Fern puts his hand over his mouth, pretending to be mortified. RoboPop wants to know what's going on. Pilar looks suspicious. Sara insists that Fern is hers, and only hers, and threatens Pilar. The cuartel pull her away. Pilar turns to Fern and says she doesn't want his pathetic jerkifulness in her life. She storms out of the tent. Sara continues to yell after her.

Wow, that was easy.

Once she is out of site, Saimon points out that RoboPop saw some of this (or something like that) and Sara begins to apologize to Fern. Fern shies away mometarily, afraid (she got kind of scary for a moment). Sara tells him it seemed like an emergency. He starts to say okay, but next time warn me... when RoboPop interrupts. NEXT time? You're already thinking about next time?? Fern says it's just a saying. Pop tells him he can't stand that all of You People (Fern and the cuartel) make their living as such liars. He says we're leaving right now.

Lety says we need to have a very serious talk right now. She pulls RoboPop out of the tent. (What's the point of arguing with him while he's drunk? Oh well.) Mom apologizes to Fern. He asks her if her husband is really going to get Lety to quit.

Meanwhile, back at Conceptos (you remember Conceptos, right?), Alicia is wearing regular clothes - not sure if this is the outfit she left in that van before when she changed her clothes (how would she have gotten them back?) or if she keeps a spare outfit, including corset at her desk or if she went home to change her clothes first. (I don't remember what she was wearing a whole week ago.) Anyway, she's on the phone with Marcia. She assures Marcia that Fern's being a good boy, doing the commercial at the country club. She says it's too bad Marcia couldn't see her on that horse. (She does a sound effect of clopping hooves. Marcia pulls the phone away from her ear to stare at it in disbelief.) Marcia asks her if she's crazy. She just wants to know if she saw Fern flirting with that model Pilar. Alicia complains that Marcia doesn't take enough interest in Alicia's problems, like how she had to go around as a waitress... Marcia doesn't know and doesn't care what she's talking about. Alicia says there's nothing to be suspicious about, they're working like crazy on that commercial, he's going hither and yon with that mustachioed corncake...

Marcia is disappointed that Alicia didn't find out anything, and she makes a face at the phone when Alicia starts whining about how lonely she is at Conceptos. Alicia asks for some money, and Marcia wraps up the call abruptly and hangs up.

Yep. Again, she's mad because Alicia didn't see her boyfriend cheat on her. Go figure.

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So... at last, the commercial is finished. Tomas is frustrated, and Alicia's running out of time to pay off her car debt... what next? Find out tonight!

Labels: fea