Caray, Caray!

Fern's phone rings. He assumes it's Tomas and starts yelling about "what you do with Lety" or words to that effect. His caller interrupts: it's Marcia. She wants to know who Fern thought was calling, that would make him so angry, and notes that he mentioned Lety. He says Lety asked him to help with a problem she was having with some jerk. She disapproves of him getting involved in Lety's personal problems. (He holds the phone away from his ear, as he's often done with Marcia lately; I think one of these days he's just going to put the phone down and leave the room.)

Lety passes through his office. He waits until she goes back into her room before resuming his conversation, but Marcia doesn't wait. She shouts, "Do what you want with Lety, and with whomever else you fancy!" (I think) and hangs up on him. He rolls his eyes.

He stares at the image of Tomas and Lety on his wicked cool Mac for another second or two, then gets rid of it. "It burns," he complains. Just then, Lety comes out of her office. She looks like she's going to say something to him, then changes her mind and goes back into her office and slams the door. Fern brings the image back up and starts playing with the little car on his desk. He mumbles angrily about Tomas being an idiot "with that face" and Lety comes out of her office again, silently tosses a note on his desk, and stomps out of his office. He makes a silly face as he reads it: "See you tomorrow, Don Fernando." He reads it out loud a couple more times in a silly voice (imitating Lety) and crumples it up. He glares at the picture again and speculates that she's probably going to plan her wedding, and then wonders if it's going to take place before his and Marcia's.

Lola is on the phone with PM, who is amazed that El Cheque has agreed to look after the kids, but she still doesn't know what she's going to tell Saimon. Alicia overhears them talking about the "solo para mujeres" show and is intrigued. Lety comes by and wants to leave right away, but Martha has to call Paco (aka Mr. Martha) first.

Paco is watching telenovelas or something and eating popcorn with the kids. Martha tells him that Lola's ex (Lola goes off as usual when he's mentioned) will be coming for the kids. Paco says, "you mean 'el Cheque'? Is it a miracle?" She says since Paco has that meeting with the taxidrivers' union, she's going to a "drinkers anonymous" meeting. (The captions say "tragones" and that's what it sounds like she's saying, but it doesn't make much sense.) After their conversation, Paco wonders if this is that surprise Saimon told him about.

Some time later (I'm telling this slightly out of order), El Cheque gets to Martha's place to pick up the kids. They, especially his own kids, are very happy to see him. In fact, they said that when Paco told them he was coming, they couldn't believe it. (Those poor kids! That's so sad!) He tells them they're going to his house, and he has a surprise. They're all excited. Martha's daughter says they can't leave until Paco gets out of the bathroom. She goes to fetch him. Well, actually she just yells up from the bottom of the stairs - she wants to know if she can go with her friends. Paco yells back that he can't come down, he's in a hurry, but go ahead. El Cheque teases the kids about the surprise.

Back at Conceptos, Saimon comes running into the main lobby with Lety's DVD envelope in his hand. PM tells him she has somewhere to go tonight - a course on bust enlargement. (Really. I can't make up stuff like this.) She demonstrates with that silly exercise that pubescent girls used to (maybe still) do of pushing their hands together to flex their pectoral muscles, but we are spared the accompanying rhyme of "I must increase my bust." They joke about this and then Saimon throws himself into the elevator with the envelope.

After the feas leave the executive suite (to find Irma and talk her into leaving with them), Alicia gloats about knowing their secret and then goes running to Lopez to tattle on them for leaving early. He asks, "don't you have a watch?" She misinterprets this as a sincere inquiry about her jewelry collection and describes her jewel-encrusted watch which she didn't happen to wear today. When she explains her complaint, he is thrilled to have an excuse to fire someone, but when he checks his watch to file the report, he realizes that it's not early at all. It's the official going-home time. It just seems early because they usually work late!

Alicia says he can still get them on scandalous, dirty conduct. (He is tantalized.) The reason they have left "so early" was to go to a "for women only" male stripper revue! He says that's not so bad. He tells her that some people are more conservative than others, and they have the right to be, but honestly, he feels... (Alicia, sensing that the conversation is about to take an icky turn, starts fiddling with her top, trying to cover up some of her cleavage) ...this all-male revue sounds like fun.

He starts taking his coat off slowly, as if for a striptease. Again, I am not making this up. There's cheezy music and everything, and he starts to get into a little dance. Alicia yells at him and tells him not to be ridiculous. (The music fades.) She says perhaps it's fun, but it's not for everyone. And she doesn't approve of the cuartel going to such a show. Lopez agrees - he thinks it will short-circuit their minds. She asks, isn't he going to do something about it? He says here's what he can do: he's going to advise her to go with him. "What nerve," she exclaims, and leaves him alone in his office. Lopez calls Information and asks if there's an "only for men" revue.

At her desk, Alicia says she's going to find a way to get back at those horrible spiders (the cuartel). Just then, Saimon sings and dances through the executive lobby, annoying her further.

Saimon goes into Fern's office. He wants to go into Lety's office, but Fern won't let him. Fern is curious about this secret package that Saimon has for Lety. Saimon won't tell Fern what it is and doesn't want to give it to him, but Fern won't give him access to Lety's office, so Saimon has to give it to him. Fern sees that it's addressed to his parents and asks Saimon what it is. Saimon doesn't know. He says he was supposed to mail it for Lety, but he couldn't because the postal code was missing/incorrect/incomplete. Fern says don't worry about that, he'll take care of it himself. Saimon is concerned ("Lety will kill me!") and advises Fern that it's urgent. Fern tells him to forget about all of this if he wants to keep his job!

In London, Humberto Mendiola can't sleep. He and Teresita are frustrated that they haven't heard from Lety or received any mail yet. (It's only been a couple of hours since they spoke to her! Even express mail isn't THAT fast!!) They're upset that Lety has been so unreliable. She's so competent when it comes to finance, but with other stuff... not so much. They rehash their plan: they want to surprise Marcia and Fernando with a house for their wedding present, but it won't be possible if they don't have that video. They can't wait to see the look on Fernando's face when he finds out they bought them a house.

Saimon is barely out of Fern's office when Fern opens the envelope. Another secret video, eh? He wonders if Tomas is on this one too. Omar calls. He's still at that noisy biergarten place with the two bimbos. He wants to know if Fern has spoken with Tomas yet. The answer is no, and now Fern says he's worried about something else: Lety tried to send a DVD to his parents. He's afraid that on the DVD, maybe Lety explains the entire situation to his parents, about the lien and Filmo-Imagen and all that. (Don't be silly. Why would she do that with a DVD? Why not a letter or phone call?) He pops the DVD into his bitchin' Mac and watches.

Saimon goes down to the main lobby, where Lety, PM, and the feas are waiting for a taxi, and he tells Lety that it went perfectly well, no problems or anything. She asks why he is so nervous. He says he wants to know where they're all going tonight. Martha says she's going to a meeting for Overeaters Anonymous. PM says she's going to her bust-enhancement class. She sticks her chest out, and they all throw up their hands to protect themselves! And they cheer. Saimon asks about Overeaters Anonymous. Martha tells him the autosuggestion diet didn't work, but she needs to lose weight. Irma and Lety don't know where they're going, and Lety says she doesn't want to go increase her bust, and Irma isn't interested in Overeaters Anonymous. (Sara is doing a bust-increasing exercise.) Martha claims that the OA meeting will have a 50-peso all-you-can-eat buffet.

PM says it's time to catch their taxi. Lety asks again where they're going. Winking frantically, PM insists it's to increase their busts, and Juana says just wait and see, it'll be fun. As they file out, Saimon tries to figure out what's fun about a bust-enhancement class or an anonymous buffet.

Saimon is still moping when Paco arrives, dressed to the nines. He's ready to party with Drinkers Anonymous, sadcb.com (there doesn't seem to be anything at that URL). Saimon corrects him: it's Overeaters Anonymous. They try to figure out where the women really went. Eventually they figure out that they've been lied to, and they want to find out the truth.

Watching the DVD, Fern sees footage of houses he doesn't know and hears Lety's voiceover. "Here's that secret information. Your son Fernando does not know anything about what's going on between us." Fern tells Omar to listen. Lety's incredibly morose voice continues, "He is going to die when he finds out about the surprise we are preparing: there are various options. Without obligation, you will decide which is best."

"Did you hear that?" Fern says, pausing the DVD.

"Did she say 'embargo'?" Omar asks. (In this case, "embargo" means obligation, but it's also the word they use when they discuss Filmo-Imagen's lien on Conceptos. Incidentally, "embargo" is also the word for "impoundment" or "seizure," such as will probably happen to Alicia's car soon.)

"Yeah, now shut up" Fern says, restarting the video.

Lety says something that's difficult for me to parse, but goes something like "they are deserving of all of these." She continues, "I am sorry for the delay, but if you need anything else, let me know."

Omar opines that Lety is speaking in code, but can't imagine what about. Fern says the pictures of houses, empty, without furniture. Omar thinks they're homes for sale, but doesn't understand. Fern says that in the first video where Lety was with Tomas, they were looking at the same houses. (One of Omar's bimbos tries to take his beer mug from him. He snorts and bites her hand. That's hot... in fiction-land.) Omar points out that Lety talks about an "embargo" and about Fern deserving something. Fern worries. What is the surprise? He reminds Omar that it's WITHOUT "embargo." Omar says she's speaking in code, so maybe that's not what she means. Fern gets that there's a secret between his parents and Lety about houses for sale, but he can't figure it out.

Back at Casa de Padilla, Tomas is upset to know that Fernando called. He thinks Lety must have told him about the money he lost on the trees that burned down in Australia. Lety's parents want Tomas to call Fern back, but Tomas stalls. He looks at some other investments that might win his money back - including coffins ("death never goes out of style"). Eventually Mom uses a bowl of meatballs to lure Tomas to the kitchen table (he carefully opens and closes his imaginary Les Nessman-style office door), then RoboPop attacks him with the phone, on which he has already dialed Fern's number.

While Fern is speaking to Omar, Lety's phone rings. He doesn't want to answer it - he's too annoyed - but Omar says it might be a good way to get information. (Omar clumsily wraps his big oafish arms around his bimbos' necks and pulls them both towards him, sort of hyperventilating and kissing them. Oh, so hot. NOT.)

Fern takes the call. Someone asks for Lety. Fern says Lety left very early. Tomas does not want to identify himself, but RoboPop makes him. (Fern tells Omar it's Tomas and has a long and irrelevant side conversation with him while Tomas waits nervously.) Tomas asks what can he do for Fern. Then he starts to apologize about the investment. Who would have imagined there'd be a fire in Australia and ruin all the little trees (I think he may be referring to a Christmas tree farm)? Fern is confused. Tomas promises that tomorrow, he'll make that money back for Filmo-Imagen. Fern laughs, that crazy kind of laughter when you're totally wired and freaking out. Then he ends the call and hangs up! Tomas is relieved, but RoboPop wonders, if Fern said not to worry, then why was he looking for Tomas in the first place?

Fern goes back to his conversation with Omar. "It's confirmed, Omar. Tomas Mora is an imbecile!" He says he's going to find Lety and find out what's going on before he goes crazy. He asks Alicia where Lety is. She gives him some attitude about all of his employees leaving without telling him where they're going. He asks her to please, for the first time in history, just give him the information he needs. Does she know where she went, yes or no?

Just then, Saimon and Paco step off the elevator and hear what she says next in her loud tattletale voice: Lety and those tarantulas, the cuartel, have gone to look at male strippers. Fern's face almost twitches. He calls Omar back. Omar is now in his hotel room, alone, and he blames Fern for the bimbos getting bored and leaving him. Fern tells Omar where Lety went. Omar laughs, annoying Fern, and says something about men on steroids, and Sergio Mayer (the actor who plays Luigi)! Fern wants to go there and look for Lety. Omar says he can't do that - only women can get in.

The feas get to Solo Para Mujeres. There's a long line of women waiting to get in. Irma complains that she told them she didn't want to see these men. Then it sinks in: Lety realizes she's going to watch men strip! Her eyelid twitches. They assure her that she'll have a great time. PM says these men dance very sexy. Sara tells them that they wear thongs (I think). Lety has some doubts about this, but they say it's their only chance to see this (I guess it's a travelling show). Lola describes it as a respite from their problems. Sara says it's to celebrate their success with the underwear commercial. They debate some more and finally Lety gives in, though she says she won't enjoy it. They all agree to go together, but Lola starts worrying about her kids; she just knows that homewrecker is going to be around.

Marcia calls Alicia. She's still angry about her phone call with Fern. She hung up on him and he didn't call her back. They talk about his interest in Lety. Alicia tells Marcia that Lety and the whole cuartel went out to see Solo Para Mujeres, but Marcia couldn't care less about those secretaries, least of all Lety. If Lety disappeared from the planet, Marcia would be very pleased, yet Fernando wants to know where Lety's going? Alicia says that he acted very strangely when she told him where Lety went, and went back into his office. She thinks something's going on between them!

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Next week: Paco and Saimon slip into something more uncomfortable. A man takes his shirt off.

Labels: fea