Caray, Caray!

Well sadly audience we are looking at a once happy family dissolving. The Gabe clan is splittin up or are they?

Gabe is upstairs in Lui's room trying to console the boy, who is mewwwwin and crying and just general whimpering. He is all upset cause Papito is leaving (I'd be upset too if I had to stay with Mommy Dearest); but Gabe does his best Bob Cratchit and picks Tiny up, promising him good times at poppi's new digs. For a brief shining moment I have hope Gabe will drop Lui, that kid looks pretty stout, but once again my hopes are dashed.

Next there is a family conference where Gabe is telling Rog, Dinah, Pedro & Paulina that he and Joselyn have irreconcilable differences (mainly she is BSC & he is in love with MA), Gabe however leaves out these details. It looks like Reg & Dinah will be staying at the mansion, Paulina will be going with Dad & Pedro has to make up his mind. There is a lot of well, I just want you to be happy formalities.

Paulina receives like 100 white roses and a card from JC, but Karen gets to them first and sticks the card in the waistband of her jeans...and tells Paulina that the flowers are for Karen from JC and she hands one rose off to Paulina, like here ya go have some sloppy seconds.

Paulina is of course reduced to tears, JC calls to ask how she liked the flowers, but she yells at him. PLOT POINT*****Not to take sides here, but why would a guy call you to asked how you liked the flowers when he sent them to someone else...Well maybe Rog would do that to Diana, but JC is good and true.
Paulina packs her suitcase, which just amazes me as I am sure this girl will need an 18 foot moving van, just for her winter clothes. She pulls out a couple of what I assume to be "Dear Diary, my cousin JC is sooooo hawt", journals & she runs across the heart necklace of faded dreams....Ahhhhhhh Paulina, damn you, there we go back into the happiest 45 seconds of your life.

Meanwhile over at the hospital MA is visiting her mother, who is in the last thros of whatever is wrong with her...I mean I know she has Alzheimer’s, but she looked pretty physically healthy when last I checked. Clemente & of course Leo are also there. I hope if I am in the hospital, I get some PJ's that are not so revealing as I am slippin and fallin all over the place, they were an attractive shade of blue however. Leo says time is basically running out. Clemente tells MA that he & her mother were once in love. And no, no lite bulb went off, no thought bubble.

Back at the Good Mansion, Joselyn and Gabe have begun to argue....he basically wants to part ways, so they can both start over again and make new lives for themselves. Joselyn does not want any part of it. She's all no you won't & he is all yes I will.

Miriam blames all this on the arrival of MA, (of all people Miriam should be well aware of that itch you just gotta scratch)

Gabe walks outside on his way to work I guess, he is out in that giant front courtyard which is larger than several city parks here in Tulsa, but Joselyn follows him out and does her best Annie Oakley, unfortunately she pretends to shoot an imaginary beer bottle off the top of his head rather than just blowing his head off. After the wrist slitting incident & the Dider Dude shooting I think she could have whacked Gabe & just gotten a few months in "Feliz Acres". Gabe talks her down, takes the gun, Karen & Paulina come running out...Gabe leaves, Paulina takes off in her cute VW bug, but doesn't put the White Rose of Shame in the flower cup. As she pulls out JC comes running up on the grass strip in front of the mansion, but Paulina won't stop. Damn Dude did you run all the way from downtown?

I can't actually believe normal (or whatever) people would leave a BSC lady who just tried to shoot someone at home with a crippled kid...maybe I'm just overprotective that way.

Joselyn goes up and holds that lil stuffed tiger & converses with her lil stuffed son. It is creepy when she talks to him, she is so cloying....forget the legs, lil Opedius Rex is gonna require at least 20 years of therapy. After this Telenovela I may require therapy, but I digress, she basically tells Felix the mewwwwwwing Cat, that only Mami loves him and she suffers so much and it hurts so bad and he is gonna have to help Mami. "Oh Sigmund do you see where this is going?"

The bright spot of tonite was for me the two seconds my main man "Demian" was on. Tiberio was in his room and Demian tells to do whatever it takes to stop Gabe's construction of "Mother Teresa Acres", it was a Sopranos moment...Get it done whatever it takes, dinero is no problemo.

Miriam who has been putting the screws to Rog to come over to the dark side (like it was some great leap for him), has decided to pick up the pace, she puts a call in to Demian for some help. Demian turns to T for Thug in his rolodex & the next thing we know, Coyote is meeting with Miriam..She kinda looks like she'd do him if she had a bar of soap and five extra minutes.

Leo is having breakfast with the local Padre (of course he is...Cafe y Pan Dulce), the Padre, brings up Leo's mom dumping him all those years ago. Leo thought bubble, "Geez can't I just go through one day with out being reminded of what a Bastard I am?". When questioned Leo says he does not want to know about his Mom. I dunno, but I'm not buyin that Leo.

Leo leaves and runs into JC outside on the street, JC explains his broken heart and Leo kinda does the "your sister"? "Oh yeah here is the great news, she isn't my sister." Leo and JC hug, yes that is correct. JC, of course does not know that Paulina is not his cuzzin, so there is still that icky fathers are identical brothers whole yucky thing, but hey one problem at a time.
Okay now, believe it or not, Paulina is inside the same church talking to the Padre about JC, oh I love him, I can't forget him, he is the great love of my life...just the kind of yammering everyone who is not in love with JC wants to hear. Paulina leaves the church and with prompting from Leo, JC walks up to her.
JC tries to explain that life is just frickin great now cause they are not brother and sister, then he has to digress and explain that nonsense. Paulina still tells him it is over cause he kissed Karen, but he says Karen kissed him (I must say he does have a point). She storms off down the street, leaving poor JC in her dust.

I gotta say Shut-Up, I have so had it with this chick and her JC JC JC...just wait it gets worse.

Gabe is having a man to man conversation with Nic about his new apartment...at least I think they are sitting in what is supposed to be his new apartment...

PLOT POINT****What is it with all these Telenovela Metrosexuals? For the love of Gawd, I go thru this on LFMB...with Fer/Omar, now I have Leo/JC & Gabe/Nic, what is next man-purses? These guys are more sensitive than a group of pre-puberty campfire girls. Coyote is looking more attractive by the moment.

Speaking of which Miriam invites Rog to lunch, & as Rog pulls his "I not over compensating for my lack of masculinity" bright red sports car out, he is followed by not overcompensating Coyote. Rog meets with Miriam for lunch and oh look she gives him a present, two hot models....
Coyote is messing around the sports car acting like he his polishing the mirrors.
Rog is basically a man-whore and would happily sell out his own beloved Papi.

Rog gives Miriam a wink across the table and takes the porn version of the DoubleMint twins down to the lil red sportscar; just as he has one sitting on the back (remember this is a two seater) and he is about to put twin two into the passenger seat, a cop car pulls up and blocks his way. Ah, there is a Drug Dog, sniffin under the car, this dog is goin after the undercarriage of that car like Lassie sniffin Timmie outta the well. Oh Rog this does not bode well.

Joselyn gets another Dider call, he is lounging around his tropical paradise with a his KFed Wife-beater standard T & shorts, while that one leg is sporting the big bandage, Dider threatens Joselyn again for $$$$, yes guess what Dider has more copies of the straight to video, porn clip of their tryst. Pay-up or I'll give Gabe the unedited version. Joselyn hangs up. Frederico appears behind her, eavesdrop much?
He tell her he wants to help.

Frederico goes to Dider and threatens him, Dider tells Frederico some of Joselyn's recent shady activities.

Frederico is concerned for Joselyn's fragile state of mental health...Hello I am glad someone finally noticed, Frederico, realizes that attempting to shoot two people in the past week requires urgent attention.

Meanwhile on her sobbing way home from church, Paulina has decided to stop in and visit MA, at her death bed vigil. MA is sitting next to her mother, who is incoherent. Paulina comes in and the usual niceties are exchanged, MA tells her that her mother is in very bad condition. Paulina in turn starts sobbing and talking about JC, yes indeed let's make this all about Paulina. She has joined my list of tools on this show.


Dinah is standing her bedroom with an EPT in her hand, yipeeee, it is positivo, oh joy she is pregnant by that stellar future father and all round swell guy Rog, currently sitting in a Mexico City Police Station. Dinah is very happy and we can see thought bubble pictures of happy pitter pattering lil angels with curly blonde hair.

Gabe gets the phone call all parents dread, "Sir, we have Jr down at the station"
When Gabe arrives at the police station, he finds Miriam and Joselyn have beaten him to it. Of course, they have. Rog gives his step-mom some creepy special hugs and the whole family returns to Casa de Crazy. In the living room, more creepy hugs and Rog, urges Gabe to not move out and abandon his family.

Gabe goes to Paulina room and she is sobbing on the bed, "What is wrong my lil Princess", "Ewwww, it is that evil heart breaker JC"....See what I mean STHU.

Next scene, Gabe is rushing into JC's job and man-handling him. Paulina watches from the office door. Once again....did they take separate cars? Did they run to downtown, with Gabe and Paulina leaping over hedges, What the hell. Is it okay to smack someone around over a botched flower arrangement; are there just like no laws in Mexico what-so-ever?

Stay tuned for more family intrigue
& as Demian would say "Vote Early & Often"

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