Caray, Caray!

Gabriel tells Paulina that she’s adopted in the worst way possible…you aren’t my daughter. Smooth. Apparently Gabe hasn’t read any of the standard “What to expect when you adopt a kid” books that are out there. Paulina freaks out and then Gabe does, and then they realize, oh wait, we really will still be father and daughter.

Miriam is waiting for crazy Jocelyn (who’s playing with a cat in the pet store) while Karen pretends to be her mom (bad hospital gown and all). Jocelyn calls Regina’s house, looking for her. In the garage, Jocelyn caresses Regina’s car, then dumps a snake on the driver’s seat.

Regina’s at the jewelry store picking up the reconditioned ring for JC & Paulina. She loves it (blah blah blah) and then gets in her car. Driving and fumbling for her cell phone, the snake bites her wrist.

Luisito hears a scary noise. The closet door creaks open and out pops the boogie man, aka Coyote. Gabe & Paulina run in and Luisito is hysterical. They calm him down. Coyote skulks away contemplating a future kidnapping plan.

Miriam, the mother-accomplice, picks up Jocelyn and they discuss visiting Luisito. Miriam says that Gabe will be there so they can’t, but Jos says, don’t worry, the guy that works for me has a way to go in and out of the apartment without being seen. Besides, she has some brainwashing to do. The ladies see some working girls at the stoplight which seems to give Jos an idea.

Ewww…Demian is getting a massage, he has a little daydream in which the masseuse is really Mariangela. Where did that come from?

Jocelyn is back at the psychiatric hospital and Miriam is tucking her in, giving her a goodnight kiss and serving her a nice glass of warm milk. Well, actually Jos is fixing up her makeup and they are plotting to see how to get her out of the hospital. Miriam seems to think Clemente is the only one who can help.

JC gets the news that his mom has been bitten by a snake. He rushes off to the hospital. Demian, plotting with Coyote, receives the same news and seems sincerely concerned. He has his driver rush him off to the hospital.

Clemente, wearing the same suit he wore in 1974, tells Miriam that he’s made a decision. He’s going to tell Jos that Mari is her sister. Even Miriam can see that might require an extended stay at the psychiatric clinic. Miriam asks him to wait a little while, since it will really harm Jocelyn’s well-being. Then she offers him some whiskey to help calm him down. He says, no…I already told you I’m not drinking anymore. Pshaw, says Miriam, one little glass won’t hurt. Do it for Jos. And then…he does! What an idiot!

At the hospital, JC is with Regina who seems fine. Enter Demian. Regina tells him the whole story, ending with, I don’t understand how a snake got in my car.

Shorty has yet another new job…now he’s working for a dog groomer. All the dogs get loose and we have a brief moment of slapstick comic relief.

Candelaria is trying to talk some sense into snotty Elsa who seems about 6 or 7 years too old for this “stage”. Elsa reiterates that she’s Coyote’s chick and he will take care of her. Candi asks the very good question, have you thought about what it will cost to do that? Elsa answers, yes of course and it doesn’t matter to me. Candi says the most important thing is dignity and then Elsa goes nutso, asking what dignity in this crappy little life of yours, all that matters to me is having a lot of money.

Clemente visits Jos. She tells him that she can’t stay in those four walls any longer. Clemente tries to explain that she has to be patient because it’s for her own good. Cue the “cloying” music, Jocelyn starts in on her poor, little, all alone, me act. She’s sure that with the therapy she’s received she can handle things on the outside now. She understands she’s sick but tells Clemente that she can receive treatment at his house. Then the clincher…This is your opportunity to show me that you love me. He buys it.

Leonardo is comforting Candelaria and telling her not to worry. Ummm…she should probably worry. She’s right when she says Coyote’s a bad guy, and her stupid daughter is going to learn bad things hanging out with him. Candi doesn’t understand how Elsa turned out like that, she raised her right. Then she basically says, why can’t she be more like Mariangela. Predictably, Leo says, no one is like Mariangela.

Cut to Santa Mari tutoring Luisito. They gush at each other (ugh).

Clemente consults with the doctor who says yes, she’s better but she should stay and continue with her treatment. Clemente asks if she could continue from home, because she suffers from claustrophobia (wouldn’t they have a pill for that somewhere in the psychiatric hospital) and can’t stand her little room. The stupid doctor says, okay.

Jocelyn gets her way and comes home with Clemente. You are the best dad in the world! She promises to continue with her treatment and therapy.

Paulina and JC are at the office, discussing the snake in the minivan. Paulina says it seems kind of strange, since they live in the city and not the country (duh) and then asks (cutely), how’s my mother-in-law. Paulina tells JC that they can get married without worrying about the whole weird cousin thing, because she’s really adopted. It’s a happy-sad thing.

Karen is having a grumpy flashback and reiterates her commitment to preventing the two lovebirds from getting married. At his office, she sneaks up behind JC, giving him a hug and he almost falls for it but pushes her away when he realizes it's her and not Pau. Enter Paulina, who finally got a back bone, and tells her to leave them alone and then slaps her good and hard. JC breaks up the catfight so a little war of the words ensues. Pau says I’m not afraid of you. Karen tells Paulina she’ll need more than slaps to fight a wild animal. Pau replies, yeah, I’ve put up with your sh*t for a long time and I’m not going to anymore. Karen stalks off, pushing their coworkers (who have probably had just about enough office drama by this point) out of the way.

Demian bursts (literally) into Miriam’s office and tells her to stay away from (or something to that effect) Regina. She does her usual, pshaw. Then he repeats it and adds a little emphasis by strangling her a little bit. She denies it and then he asks is it that B.S.C. daughter of yours. He grabs her to shake her some more, but then someone flips the switch, and instead he starts kissing her and throws her down on the desk for some afternoon action.

Tiberio, having earlier overheard Karen tell Dolores that she know she killed Edgar, tells Dolores that he, now more than ever, will not accept her as his mother. He knows she’s a cold-blooded brother killer. She tells him I didn’t do it. He answers back, I don’t believe you because since I met you, you’ve been lying to me. She says she had to do it to get close to him, that she’s been a victim here and she deserves a chance since she’s his mom. He looks like he just might break down and believe her.

Clemente asks Candi to take care of Jos who’s in her room resting (but is really on the stairs listening and cursing Mariangela). Later, Candi’s on the phone with Mari talking about the new school. Again Jos is eavesdropping and hears where the school is. She skulks off. Later, Candi checks in on her and naively falls for the old pillows stuffed under the blanket ruse.

Shorty’s pants are shredded and he has pawprints on his shirt. All the other taxi drivers are teasing him.

Demian and Miriam are buttoning back up. Miriam reiterates that she didn’t do anything to Regina. Demian says, for your well-being I hope you didn’t. He threatens her and BSC daughter a little more, telling her that no one touches Regina.

As Gabe & Regina are making plans to have a family get-together tonight for the two lovebirds, Demian is finalizing his evil plans against Gabe. He says that tonight he’ll give a big headache to his brother.

Mari is at her new school. Jocelyn skulks in and threatens Mari. Jos then cuts herself and screams, let go of me, to make it seem like Mari attacked her. We end with a very sharp piece of glass pressing against Mari’s neck. Yipes!

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