Caray, Caray!

Before we get started,
BEARS WIN BEARS WIN BEARS WIN

Back to our program -
While Alina and Soledad are clinging to each other outside of the cave, Soledad asks why Don Loco has brought them together to just tear them apart again. He says to make them suffer. What a great guy. Then Don Loco orders Gaspar to return Alina to the cave, Gaspar follows the order. I haven’t seen all the episodes this week, this is my first look at Gaspar. I think I saw him once at a Metallica concert, he’s not retarded, he just smoked too much pot. Really, I think that’s the guy. Soledad tells Don Loco that she will never forgive him for this and slaps him, he slaps her in return, which drives her to the ground. He wound up for that slap like he was trying to win a contest, the wimpy little ‘slap’ sound effect makes him seem like a real wuss. Well, he’s a bully, I guess he is a wuss. He beats up on women and has to use a gun to intimidate anyone else. Huge wuss. He tells Soledad to get up on her horse or Alina will pay the consequences. We’re supposed to believe that until now he was a reasonable man? There’s no way he developed these advanced mental cruelty techniques in just the last week. Gaspar roughly deposits Alina back in her cave. I’m pleased at the hotness level of our female lead in this show. She doesn’t look her best right now of course, but Ludwika/Alina is very pretty, nice body, the whole deal. The next novela needs to be the actresses who played Pamela and Babe Lawyer having lots of pajama pillow fights or something. But I digress.

Back in Puebla, Thelma is talking to Orlando about Emilio’s new girlfriend, playing the whole “ha ha I’m just curious not a completely psychotic stalker ha ha you know I’m just interested” angle. Orlando tells Thelma that Emilio told HIM (Orlando) that Alina just up and disappeared. Thelma says this is the best news he could have brought her. He says he deserves a prize and starts mashing on her like a high school kid. After letting him wag his tongue around in her mouth for a few seconds she backs off and says “enough already you got your prize.” It was quite possibly the most unromantic kiss I’ve ever seen. No, second most unromantic, first place goes to any/all attempts to kiss Miranda by Cesar back in Heridas. Now THAT was some disgusting kissing. This was close. Orlando starts in again about how she should forget about Emiliooooooo and she cuts him off. “Give it up! I’ve told you a million times that I’m in love with Emilio.”

Luba is doing some witch doctor stuff on some random woman that came to see her in the cave. I keep expecting Luba to look and act like Nati, it hasn’t been long enough since changing shows to get my mind all into the new one. I keep expecting a hard left turn in the story line. Luba hears a man’s voice in her head saying “you killed my son, you are going to die.” Is this an homage to the Princess Bride? Is the man whose voice we hear named Inigo Montoya? Luba goes over to her cave altar to pray to the virgin. This episode brought to you by the Virgin Mary and the letter E. She says that the virgin more than anyone knows he didn’t have to die, she (Luba) didn’t want it. The lady receiving the witch doctoring finally speaks up, “Luba, what the hell? I’m just standing over here with my arms in the air.” Actually she just said “que pasa?” Luba says nothing, nothing, then gives the lady something and kicks her out of the cave. Luba takes a small bottle with some green potion inside of it off of a shelf.

Emiliooooooooo! He’s looking at some book, he closes it as if he can’t keep his mind on his reading. His sickly brother walks up with the phone, it is cousin Maximo. How’s it going? Great. He tells his cousin that he’s busy rehearsing, he can’t leave Puebla for the whole month. Yes, cousin, I get the money you send every month. You are obviously the best choice to be the administrator of the hacienda, thanks for everything, see you soon I swear, hugs, bye. This was to establish that their cousin Maximo maintains Emilio’s hacienda. Now we know. Angle coughs some more. Angel says they should go to the hacienda, they haven’t been there in forever. Emilio says it reminds him too much of when their parents were alive. Angel asks if he has seen his new hottie girlfriend yet, Emilio says no, but he will be looking for her, he will see her again.

Said hottie girlfriend is sitting in the cave crying. Is she going to be the contractually obligated cryer? Does that automatically go to the female lead? I originally thought Soledad was going to be the daily cryer, but perhaps not. I’ll keep my eye on this. Alina cries out to the cave for Emilio to come help her. Emilioooooooooooooo!

Emilio is working with some of his army engineer buddies, he can only think of Alina. Then they are in a swim race, Emilio is such a stud he of course wins. Then they are shooting guns at targets, Emilio is again the best. Finally he kicks back with a shot of tequila or something at the café after his busy day. Thelma happens to show up. Thelma may be evil, and they have given her the ‘evil girl’ style of makeup to make sure we know it, but she is hot too. It may be the skimpy tank top distracting me. That girl Coral from the club though? SCARY. I’m studying Taekwondo and that woman still scares me. If we have to see some evil woman all the time, Thelma in skimpy clothing is ok by me. She tells Emilio that she went to his house looking for him and was told he was here. He says he wants to be alone. She says when you are sad, you need to be with friends. He’s looking at her like, “yeah right.” She asks him to let her be his friend. He orders her a drink. They toast to love. It was a longer toast than that, but basically about love. She downs the drink like a man would and smiles at him. He still gives her a ‘what the hell?’ look.

Gaspar sneaks into the cave when Alina is sleeping. Is he going to molest her or what? She wakes up and he puts his finger to his lips to tell her “shhhh.”

Don Loco looks in on Soledad while she sleeps, the room is very dark. He takes off his hat. Are we supposed to fear anything when his hat comes off, like when Cesar took off his glasses in Heridas? He leans over and gives Soledad a kiss. She kisses him back, then he wakes up. She turns on the light and right away he asks who she was dreaming about. She asks him to please not let his jealousy destroy their relationship. Uh, hello dummy, he has your DAUGHTER LOCKED UP IN A CAVE. I think you are already in trouble. She begs him to let Alina go. He says that he won’t give in to her, she has made him her enemy, a dangerous enemy. He puts his hat back on and leaves.

Alina tells Gaspar to get out. He says he won’t do anything bad. Wow did they give him a horrible voice. He has that sing-song phrasing at the end of each sentence, my wife says people from the Districta Federal/Mexico City have that accent. So he sounds like a fake mentally challenged person with a Chango accent. It’s horrible. Luba storms in and wants to know what’s going on. Gaspar says he just wanted to make sure Alina was ok, Luba kicks him out. She unnecessarily tells Alina that he isn’t bad, he has a problem, he’s sick. No duh, lady, why don’t you tell me how the sky is blue, too?

Thelma is trying the same “I’m not a psycho stalker” trick on Emilio, wanting to know all about Alina. A buddy shows up and says he has a message from Coral. Yikes. Emilio says he doesn’t want to hear anything about Coral, the only thing he wants is to see Alina again to tell her how much he loves her. Awwwwww.

Jose and some guy are at a bar talking about crossing the border. Before they start talking, we get a great shot of a fat waiter who is apparently super gay. He plays the gay thing up as much as possible, he even snaps his fingers with a limp wrist before prancing off the other direction. What was that all about? Anyway Jose’s friend says each crossing is more dangerous than the last. Arcadio is the other guy. Jose shows him photos of his woman and child. Arcadio comments on how pretty his daughter is and Jose gives him a killing glare. Arcadio stammers “with all due respect.” Jose is apparently satisfied with that and goes back to his beer. Some other guy sticks his head in the door and is alarmed at seeing Jose there, the guy then turns and runs out. I didn’t see Thursday’s episode, but I imagine this was one of the guys that beat him up before Arcadio helped him.

Adelea brings food to Soledad, she tells Soledad that she needs to eat! Soledad wants to starve to death. Adelea says if she dies, who will help Alina get away from Don Loco? Soledad does some rehashing (where are you Omar Carvajal?) for those who haven’t been watching all week. Is it Adelea or Adela? Can someone clear that up for me? I saw both ways written in this week’s recaps and I’m not sure which one it is.

Mariana is telling Malena how busy she is with her seamstressing work. MS Word says seamstressing isn’t a word but I couldn’t think of a better one. Malena tells her that the only important thing is that she is ready for the operation. Is she donating blood to her daughter? Mariana is also sure that Jose will succeed and return for her.

Emiliooooooo! His phone rings and he rushes to answer it. It’s Thelma and he’s visibly disappointed. Yes he got home ok, everything’s fine, yes. She apparently invites him to do something tomorrow, he says no but she should go and have fun. At least they have made her character believable at this point – this is very typical ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend behavior. Be all nice and hope the other person falls in love again. How often does it work? About never, I’d guess. Emilio flashes back to talking to Alina, looking great in a bikini top, and back in the present swears to find her. The scene fades to Alina in the cave, begging Emilio to help free her and her mother. Whimper whine cry.

Don Loco sits at his desk smoking a big fat stogie. He looks at a picture of his wife and daughter and has flashbacks of happier times when Soledad was pregnant, then when Alina was little. He drops the picture, muttering about how Alina isn’t his daughter after all. There is a knock on the door. He yells that he didn’t want to be bothered. The voice says he is Sergio and it’s important. He comes in and says that Jose Gomez has been seen in Sierra Escondida. Sergio knows the bar where he was seen. He says it’s a dangerous place to go with out permission from somebody named Maximo. Is this the same cousin Maximo that Emilio was talking to before? Don Loco says he’ll talk to Maximo. Sergio says he won’t be there until tomorrow, Don Loco says ok we’ll wait until tomorrow. He then swears that Jose will not escape him and that Jose will die. I think that if he finds out the truth, that Jose knocked up his sister, not his wife, that he would go crazy and kill him anyway. Que Macho.

The next day in Sierra Escondida, Don Loco is talking to Maximo, who does make mention of some cousin, so it’s the same guy. Good thing Emilio spoke with him on the phone earlier so we know who he is. Don Loco tells Maximo about wanting to find Jose. Maximo says sure, you can go, after you can tell me what happened. Don Loco and Sergio get on their horses and leave. The actor who plays Sergio is certainly no cowboy, he had a hell of a time getting up on his horse and looked very uncomfortable once he got there.

Alina is sitting by a stream feeling sorry for herself. They let her out of the cave? Gaspar runs up and again promises to take care of her, not do anything bad. He calls her Florecita, she corrects him and says her name is Alina. She asks if he will indeed do anything for her. She should probably not act like a bitch to him if she wants favors. He points out a whirlpool in the river and warns her to stay out of it, it’s dangerous. What? I thought she was about to test what he would do for her, instead we get a water safety message.

Don Loco and Sergio bust open the door of where Jose is staying. Loco tells Jose, “finally we are face to face!” Commercial. Coming out of commercial, the title screen for the show where the theme song plays, there is the funniest thing – the woman who started this mess by giving Don Loco the note is standing in a field holding a machete that is way too big for her, then she is doused with water, the whole time she just stands there. What in the world is that? Anyway, Don Loco and Jose stare at each other. They start yelling at each other saying “she” this and “she” that, of course they are talking about different people, Don Loco about Soledad and Jose about Mariana. I figure Mr. Roper is in the other room listening to the whole thing and finding this all to be further evidence that Jack Tripper is gay. Sergio says that Jose can’t talk to Don Loco that way, Jose blocks his punch and punches him back, in the face. Don Loco draws his gun and fires, Jose manages to get out and escape on horseback. Jose says he’s going to come back for her and his daughter. Doesn’t Don Loco realize that this guy is only about three years older than Alina and can’t possibly be her father? Hello Don Loco – Jose couldn’t have been getting busy with Soledad and fathering a child when he wasn’t out of diapers yet. This particular stretch is too much for me, more than anything else so far. Jose is like 25 years old. Give me a break. Don Loco runs outside and shoots after Jose, who is riding away on a horse. He swears vengeance, etc.

Emilioooooo has permission from his superior to go to Veracruz. Right after, Angel answers the phone and it’s Thelma, again. Emilio waves to Angel to say he’s not there. Angel wonders when Thelma will get the message, Emilio thinks when he finally marries Alina, who also, by the way, is the love of his life. Romantic music plays to show that he is serious about this.

Soledad is in her room and Adela (that’s the spelling in the captions) comes in to tell her that Don Loco found Jose. Soledad is happy, thinking the misunderstanding will now be sorted out. Adela agrees. I guess they didn’t hear all the Three’s Company style details.

Gaspar brings Alina a flower. Alina finally pushes him a bit further about helping her. She has something to be just be between the two of them. She then stops beating around the bush and says she wants help escaping and then rescuing her mom. Gaspar smiles. I’m trying to think of a name for him but haven’t come up with one yet. I don’t want to say anything disrespectful to the mentally handicapped.

Sergio reports that Jose got away. Don Loc tells him that he is an imbecile, so is everyone else, the whole world sucks, without him they would all have nothing. He tells everyone this and that he’s the boss of them, they have to do what he says, find that guy.

Gaspar thinks that Don Loco will get mad at him, or kill him, if he helps Alina with what she wants. He goes on about this in his horrible voice. Alina huffily says “thanks for nothing” and walks off.

Don Loco has some more flashbacks to happier times. When he is basically a completely different person. He recalls a makeout session with Soledad and then feels sad about it. Soledad runs down to see him and asks about seeing Jose. Don Loco of course misunderstood everything Jose said, thinking that he was referring to Soledad the whole time, so Don Loco starts being mean and making threats to Soledad. Also, he’s going to kill Jose like a dog in front of her, to make her suffer. Soledad cries and prays.

Hugo (that’s bandana guy’s name, right?) and the lady who gave Loco the card that started this mess, Alfonsina? By the way, for being some peasant, do nothing but hang around and cause trouble woman, she has a killer body. She has abs like an athlete. Where is the gym on this hacienda? She must spend a couple hours a day there. She is worried that Don Loco will get back together with his wife. Then, just as quickly, she is sure that it won’t happen. Crazy woman. She leaves and look who arrives – Emiliooooooo! He is looking for Alina and Hugo says that she left with her parents to go to Switzerland. Wow. He couldn’t come up with a better lie than that? Emilio can’t believe it. Hugo says that he doesn’t think they are coming back anytime soon, Alina is going to study there. Alfonsina stops Emilio as he is leaving and tells him that Alina is just like her mother, she messes around with other guys. She smiles and leaves, Emilio is confused. He gives a little Don Loco-ish “she cheated on me!” speech and curses Alina.

Don Loco reads ‘the letter’ AGAIN. A knock at the doo, it’s Adela. She says Maximo is looking for him.

Emilio is beating up the steering wheel of his car, he can’t believe that Alina is a bad person like Alfonsina told him, but he won’t let any woman ever make a fool of him again.

Gaspar catches up with Alina, she acts rude to him and he thinks she is mad, he says he’ll help her.

Maximo wants to talk about Don Loco’s problems, Don Loco doesn’t want to, so Maximo just talks about what a pain in the ass women are. Then he goes on about his favorite hookers, I think. He invites Don Loco to go out tonight. Loco declines. Some worker then runs in and says that there is some problem and Don Loco probably wants to know about it.

Back to Puebla, Coral is dancing and Emilio is watching. He talks to his buddies at the bar and orders some tequila. He’s going to get drunk, he says. I’m a little distracted by Coral’s mostly naked butt being right in the middle of the screen. She scares me, but this isn’t so bad. Is this Cinemax? Coral’s dance ends and she runs right over to Emilio for a kiss.

Alina gets into Soledad’s room and tries to get her to leave with her. Soledad says she has to get her jewels first. There is a noise and the women turn around, impactadas!

This show jumps around so #@%@#$% much it is driving me crazy. Each scene is about 30 seconds long. I’m going nuts. I’ve been writing this recap for about an hour and half so far. Pause pause pause come on and just let some scene develop, don’t keep jumping back and forth every time someone speaks. Emilio comes home and Angel asks if he spoke with Alina, Emilio says no, Alina is a trampy bitch and made a fool of him. Again, this will never happen again he says.

It was Adela making the noise, she says that Don Loco is home, they should go. Soledad stops to tell her thanks. I thought she would go looking for her big luggage again, but no.

Luba comes in the cave yelling for Gaspar, nobody is there. She calls Alina (“Flor”) but she isn’t there either.

Gaspar is showing Alina and Soledad this place where they can stay and then move on the next day. She gives him a kiss on the cheek to say thanks and he hyuck hyucks his way out. Alina thinks someone is coming to help them when they hear horses, but Soledad tells her no, it’s Don Loco! They try to hide.

Gaspar gets home and tells Luba that he helped Alina leave. She tells him that Don Loco will drive them away if Alina is gone. She hurries Gaspar out to go find them.

The ladies hid pretty good I guess, Don Loco is pissed because he couldn’t find anyone. Oh here they are – they are running through the forest to try and get away. Don Loco wants to look in the forest, his men say that at night he’ll never make it out alive. He calls them cowards and goes into the woods.

Back in Puebla, Emilio has flashbacks to making out on the beach with Alina, he whines and feels sorry for himself. He has to forget her, he can’t live with the pain. Whatever dude. Thelma calls him AGAIN. She says she loves him, he says he loves her too. Really? “Yes Thelma, you know how much I like you.” Uh Emilio that isn’t what she was asking. Anyway. He invites her to go out the next night to dance and have dinner, like the good old days. Thelma is pleased.

Mariana is laying in the hospital bed and having visions of Jose. Malena hears her and comes over to talk to her. The daughter’s body hasn’t rejected the transplant, she’s fine. Mariana says it wasn’t a sacrifice, she’d give her life for her daughter. Oh, any word from Jose? Malena says that Jose probably already forgot about them. Wow, way to be supportive!

Jose reads a letter that he is sending Mariana, he is going to cross the border with some guys, he’ll be back for her with some money as soon as he can.

Luba and Gaspar walk and search, slowly. She yells at him a lot. Luba decides that they need to leave before Don Loco runs them off. Just then, Don Loco’s voice can be heard. We see Don Loco himself, having one of his wobbly hallucinations, he sees Jose hugging Soledad and Alina. That’s the end of the show. Maybe we’ll find out that Don Loco does a lot of drugs, that will explain a lot.

This turned into quite a long recap, I think all the jumping around and the fact that I prattle on contributed equally. Go Bears!

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