Caray, Caray!

Anyone know what kind of bird that is at the end of the opening credits?

Mexico City: The "Who's On First" 1-Player Drinking Game

Here's how it works: Say something stupid, then take a drink. Or take a drink, and then say something stupid. After you repeat it a few times, the order doesn't matter much.

After Marcia says "I feel sorry for you," Fern gets in his car, revs the engine, rolls forward only a few feet, and begins to cry. "Lety, Lety," he moans. Then he yells, "Leeeeeeeeeeetttyyyyyyyyyy!!" His voice echoes all the way over to the inside of Lety's head in Acapulco. More on that later.

He goes back into the same bar - it's called the Blue Dragon, just in case you ever need to know while playing La Fea Más Bella Trivial Pursuit - and is greeted by a different bartender, whose shift is just beginning. Fern orders two more whiskeys and complains that the music is too cheerful. Pedro, the bartender, gets the music turned off but gives him only one drink. Fern says give me both whiskeys, or I won't give you a tip. Pedro says he shouldn't be drinking. Fern thinks this is outrageous, and demands his second drink. Pedro tells Fern he should really go home. He's already had eight.

Fern asks Pedro to look him in the eye. "Do I look like a clown? Do I have a little red ball on my nose too? Or the face of a fool?" Pedro politely responds in the negative. Fern says, "if you are going to call me 'patrón,' I would like it if you'd fill my orders, please. As a patron, I give an order and you fill it." By now he's finished the first (or ninth) whiskey.

Pedro reaches for the now-empty glass and begins refilling it, mumbling that Fern is going to leave there like a fumigated spider. Fern says, "People obey me, right? And they talk down to you, right?" Pedro denies the latter as Fern pulls Pedro's hand to his lips for a sympathetic kiss. "It's just that today isn't my day," Fern continues. "I'm no longer the president of Conceptos. I left the business with many problems. All the world hates me... you don't hate me," he adds. Pedrito agrees, "How can I hate you? You give me the best tips."

"But all the world hates me," Fern goes on. "Because I am trash. The lowest kind of trash. You know what, Pedrito? Pedrito what?" (Pedrito answers that his last name is Torres, like the little bald guy on a reality show .) "You know what's the worst, Pedrito? I lost the woman I loved and canceled my wedding."

Pedrito is confused. Fern drunkenly tries to clarify. "I'm not going to marry the one I love, that's the other one, Pedrito. I lost everything." Evidently, either this story or the fumes from Fern's breath have impaired Pedrito's judgment, so he asks for further explanation and pours Fern another drink. (That's #3 since the beginning of Pedito's shift.)

"You don't listen," Fern complains. "I wasn't going to marry the woman I love. The woman I love is the other one. But I have a little problem. Well, it's not a problem, it's a marvelous woman. Divine. But she has a defect."

Pedrito interrupts. "Which one are you talking about? The usual one or the other one? Because you have so many 'old ladies' that I can't tell."

"You're not getting it, Pedrito. I'm not going to give you a tip. You're not paying attention." He explains that "the other" is the one he was going to marry. (That's wrong, but he's drunk and fortunately Pedrito doesn't get confused.) Everyone thinks she's great, but Fern thinks she's neurotic. But that's not why he won't marry her. It's because he doesn't love her.

Pedro thinks "the other" must be one of Fern's conquests - perhaps a table dancer. Fernando gets scowly and warns him not to be disrespectful. Then he laughs. He was just joking. Fern says no, she's a marvelous woman, enchanting. "She must be," Pedro says agreeably.

"Do you want to meet her?" Fern asks, suddenly inspired. "What? I am just a humble server," Pedro answers. Fern nearly falls off his barstool getting the photo ("the bar pushed me," he explains). He takes an extra-long look at the picture. "She abandoned me," he says to his wallet. Finally he takes the photo out of his wallet and kisses it, then lets lucky Pedro see.

"Divine? Or no?" Pedrito is more polite than the bartender at the hotel last night - he doesn't turn have to rotate it multiple times to figure out which way it goes - but he makes a face ugly enough to rival Lety's sulkiest. "Yes, she looks very special." "How special?" Fern says impatiently and snatches it back, accusing Pedro of trying to steal it. Fern asks him to repeat after him, "She's divine!" Pedro repeats without eye contact or enthusiasm.

Fern wants another drink. Pedro offers a token protest, but still serves him. (#4 at least.) Fern resumes staring at the photo in his wallet with a silly grin on his face.

There is more talking, but less substance. Pedro encourages Fern to go home but also lets him have another drink. (This is at least #5 on top of the previous 8 and whatever he drank at the hotel.) He sneaks another peek at Lety's photo and winces as Fern mumbles "Lety... my Lety" at it.

Pedro tells Fern it's closing time. Fern says okay, close up, I'll stay here. Pedro has a coworker call Fern a taxi. Fern tells Pedro that there are only two people he gets along with - Saimon and Pedro.

Just then, Monica Agudelo shows up. You remember her. She's the Spanish woman who bothered Fern and Lety when they went to that restaurant, then called Marcia the next day to gossip about how Lety seemed to be getting affectionate with him. Fern introduces Monica as Marcia's gossipy friend and makes a sloppy pun about her being sharp like a razor ("agudo" means sharp). As Fern hugs Monica, Pedro frantically gestures to Monica something about a telephone. I'm not sure exactly what he's trying to say but I think it means "please please please get him out of here."

Monica wants to know why he's alone. He says he's not alone, he's drinking here with his friend Pedro. He asks for another whiskey, and Pedro says sorry, I can't sell any more liquor at this hour, and a taxi is on its way to pick you up. Fern says he doesn't want to leave his car here.

Monica wants to know where is Marcia. Jeez, for a gossip, she sure doesn't know much, does she? He says she was here a while ago, but he thinks she went home. He says something I don't get about stabbing (probably another agudo pun) the photo. (Pedro winces again.) Monica has no idea what he's talking about, but Fern is laughing too hard at his own joke to care.

(I missed some of the next scene. I took some notes and corrected the recording error during the next commercial break, but I've probably missed a few things.)

Monica leaves. Fern tells Pedro again that Monica is a gossip.

The taxi arrives. Fern is barely conscious. Pedro struggles to get him to the door. Fern is looking again at the picture in his wallet and mumbling things like "I have lost everything. She was my girlfriend forever. The woman I loved. I lost my love, my business. I can't afford to lose my car and have it stolen out of the street. Do you have valet parking?" He closes his wallet and dings Pedro's nose. "Who's your favorite barman? I love you sooooo much."

(Recording resumes.)

Fern is still babbling as the driver (of taxi #L24695; there will be a quiz later) helps him to the car. He is going on and on about how great "Peter" (Pedro) is and how he's going to have his own bar.

Fern wants to drive. The driver won't let him. Fern kisses his own car like it's Lety, then kisses the driver's hat. "I am ex-Fernando Mendiola, ex-president of Conceptos, ex-shareholder, ex-boyfriend of Marcia Villaroel, and ex-lover of Leticia Padilla Solis. She abandoned me." The driver says "OK, Don Fernando." Touched that the driver has addressed him so respectfully, Fern bawls on the driver's shoulder. His eye twitches like Lety's.

The driver leans Fern against the car while he opens the door. Fern falls over. Cabbie helps him up and carefully packs him into the car like a jack-in-the-box. He asks Fern where he wants to go. "Take me to whatever place is not my house," Fern answers. "Because at home, I'm alone. I am a very bored guy." (His head momentarily disappears as he flops down in the backseat.) "I don't want to be in my house." (All we can see is his hand waving around.) "Call them at your house and tell them you're not coming home today. So they won't be waiting for you," Fern says. "Nobody's waiting for me."

Fern sits up again. "They'll wait for me, but at the committee meeting, because the woman I love turned me in. She gave my head to the committee and said she loved me, can you believe it?"

Ah, well, that's women, the cab driver says as Fern disappears out of sight again. His hand pops up holding his phone/Blackberry/newfangled communications gizmo with alphabetic keyboard and screen. That fisheye lens photo of Lety is staring the driver right in the face. Fern gets up and tells Lety on his screen saver, "I am not going to sleep. If you don't appear, I won't sleep."

Fern begins to snore. The cabbie wakes him up. Fern says he needs to get some gel for his hair and suggests going to a 24-hour drugstore. Off they go!

---

Acapulco: Mr. Mellow Mellows Out

The all-star beach party continues. Caro is dancing with Alex; Lety is dancing with Aldo. Lety dances even worse with only one arm than with two. Now it's crazy and lopsided. There's a lot of fist-action and she is also shaking her booty spastically. Aldo chuckles gently and Lety seems to be having a good time, not freaking out with self-consciousness or anything like that.

Unfortunately, back home, Fern yells "Leeeeeeeeeeetttyyyyyyyyyy!!" His voice echoes in Lety's head. She stops dancing and looks confused for a moment. Then she runs away from the party. Everything and everyone else freezes motionless, except Aldo, who rushes to her side. They are soon joined by Carolina, who guesses that it has something to do with Fernando. Lety admits that she can't stop thinking about him. Aldo says don't worry - if you want to think about him, then think about him; if you want to cry, then do that.

He asks Lety if she wants to be alone. She says yes, and excuses herself. Caro does not approve, but Aldo says he doesn't want to be pushy. As Aldo and Caro return to the party, Lety comes rushing back to apologize to Aldo. (I guess Caro is chopped liver these days. On the other hand, it is Aldo's party.) She says she changed her mind, and she wants to dance with Aldo some more, if he's not too mad at her. He says of course not, and the party is for her. Lety says no man has ever treated her so unselfishly.

Lety and Aldo join the band on the stage, and the singer's words are "your love was like the water that I shouldn't have drunk, I loved you with all my heart, and you made fun of my feelings, I cried a thousand nights not to forget, I lost my dreams, my dignity, etc." (Is anyone else hankering for a song about surfing or a boy named Sue just about now?) The bellezas form a gauntlet, and Lety and Aldo pass through. (That's a double-line of people who form a sort of hallway and then you have to walk past all of them. I'm sure there's a square-dancing term for it, but I know it as a gauntlet.) Then there's line-dancing; then Aldo starts dancing a little like Lety. (Just a little.)

Caro makes a speech thanking the band, Caña Real, and Aldo for making an unforgettable night. She tells the bellezas it's time to go to sleep. Lety tells Caro she'd like to sleep too. Caro says she has to go, but Lety doesn't. Aldo awkwardly says that it's no problem, they can leave whenever they want, and he hopes Lety enjoyed her party.

Ouch.

While Aldo goes off to thank the band, Caro accuses Lety of being rude for not sticking around with Aldo. Lety says she really wants to sleep. And, in her defense, how much sleep can she have gotten lately, given her state of mind? But Lety admits that she's not sure if she wants to be left alone with him. (I guess it feels different at night.) Caro urges her to enjoy the life that's around her. Aldo gave them a great party, and Lety should at least give him a chat by the ocean at night.

Aldo comes back to say goodnight. Carolina tells him she's still leaving, but Lety wants to stay and chat. Lety begins to protest, but when she sees the big smile flash across his face, she changes her tune. She happily agrees to accompany him for a beachside chat. She lingers behind for just a moment to breathlessly tell Carolina, "I don't know if I've said it enough, but in every way... thank you sooooo much."

A little while later, Aldo is talking about how beautiful everything is. They are all part of this harmony. Lety says she's falling asleep. Aldo thinks she's bored. She says no, she doesn't want him to be confused that this closeness between them is anything more than friendship. She can't stand anyone making fun of her. He says the moment has arrived for them to speak seriously. He's not thinking about seducing her.

She retorts that everything he's told her was very pretty, but it's very strange that he has been talking that way with her.

Aldo says something about talking to the fire and not wanting to have a relationship with her. Huh? Lety apologizes and says she's very insecure, and after what happened with Fernando, her heart doubts everyone and everything.

Aldo says, "But out here there is no money, nor business How could I use you the way Fernando did?" Lety replies that for all she knows, maybe he made a bet with someone that he'd sleep with a fea.

Aldo looks bewildered. He gently caresses her face. "How many hurts have you endured?" After a moment she realizes that he's touching her, and she frowns. He backs off and spins around in frustration. "Nothing would please me better than to be able to be loved by a woman like you, Leticia." She musters a shy smile. "That kind of love has never been in my heart," he says.

Lety is surprised to hear this. "I too was hurting," he says. "Hurting very much. So much that I couldn't pull myself together. So much that I still don't know if someday I will be able to do it."

He tells the story of the wrecked minivan:

They had been happily married for four years. He was deeply in love with her, and thought she felt the same way. One day Leonora told him she was going out to eat with some girlfriends. A little while later, he got a call. They told him she had suffered an accident.

Cue the flashback music. It's the same scene. It's raining. He approaches the smashed-up minivan. It's totally destroyed; she's dead. He takes her face in his hands; for a moment I think he's going to suck the blood from her neck, but that's a different genre. He cradles her head on his shoulder.

The driver is slumped over, his head cushioned by the airbag, but it obviously wasn't enough to save his life. Aldo pushes him back from the bag and makes two stunning discoveries: the man is his best friend, and he and Leonora had been holding hands. Their hands are still clasped. They were lovers!

He gapes, disbelieving, as the rain pours all over him and his face slowly turns to stone.

That was two years ago, he tells Lety. He decided to go to Acapulco to get away from all of that, but living in solitude has hurt him.

Lety asks if Leonora was cheating on him for the whole four years they were married. He says he doesn't know, but

(DAMN! At this point, the recording stops due to my being an idiot. I took some notes and corrected the recording error during the next commercial break, but I've probably missed a few things.)

Aldo says to Lety, "Thanks for how you are. Thanks for who you are." She gets nervous and says good night.

(Recording resumes.)

Lety runs into Frederico, Fern's "uncle" (friend of his father's, I'm pretty sure, not a blood uncle), and is mortified to see him. She says she wishes she'd never met either him or Fernando. He kindly asks her what Fernando did to her. She says, "He lied to me, he deceived me, he made fun of me and made me feel like trash." Fred tells her that being human means never being trash. The more you suffer, there is always a chance to be reborn. She says she would like to be reborn. He says happiness is the only thing she should encounter in life. If his nephew did those things to Lety, he (Fred) is very sorry, and he cares very much for her. More than for his nephew.

Lety asks why. He says he doesn't know - it's something that he ??? (nace - doesn't make sense?). He asks permission to give her a hug, and she grants it. This peaceful moment lasts about a nanosecond before she realizes that he might blab to Fern. He promises not to reveal that he even saw her, and gives her a blessing. She says she wishes she could have met and got to know him at some other time.

Then she cheerfully tells him that he reminds her of Fernando. (Not sure how great of a compliment that is, considering all the bad things she just told him about his nephew.) She says Fern looks more like Fred than his own father. (Now, if THAT doesn't make you go hmmm....)

(It's probably an in-joke. Thanks to Cathy for discovering that this actor is Jaime Camil's real-life father.)

They part ways. Lety goes to her room and remembers Aldo saying how perfect everything was. She reminds me of the time Marcia Brady came home with a crush on a boy. She floats happily into her bathroom, smiles at herself in the mirror, and then is rudely interrupted by the image of herself kissing Fernando in her office. She yells "Leave me in peace."

She sits on the bed and remembers Aldo saying "Thank you for being the way you are and thanks for being who you are." She strokes her cheek where he had touched her face, and smiles.

A while later, she is sitting on her bed in some flowered red flannel pajamas. There is a loud knock. It's Aldo, asking her to open up please.

She opens the door and he takes her hand. They stand very close.
They almost kiss.
They sorta kiss.
They totally kiss.

She backs off and says no. Then she goes in for more.

She wakes up, moaning no, no, no. Why can't I forget Aldo, now that he's showing up in my dreams? (This is at the same time that Fernando is telling his cell phone that he's not going to sleep until she shows up.)

Neither can I forget Fernando, she says to herself. He's in her dreams too.

Next day

There's a knock on Lety's door. Lety answers paranoidly, but it's Carolina. Caro wants to know who she thought it was, to answer so nervously. Lety claims she had a nightmare that someone was in her room last night. (Heh, I wish I could have a "nightmare" like that.)

Caro wants to know how it went last night. Lety says it was okay, but Caro says she doesn't sound very enthusiastic and asks how long they stayed out on the beach. Lety defensively answers that it was just a short time. Caro says it's just that Aldo has been so content lately - she's never seen him like that, and she's glad Lety agreed to hang out with him.

Lety says she didn't do it because she wanted to, but because Caro pressured her. (Give me a break, Lety!) Caro says that's not what she intended. Lety says she felt like Caro was pushing her to have a fling with him.

Carolina admits that she would have liked that. Lety says she considers him a friend. (She is playing with her ring; she was playing with it last night when she was doing her Marcia Brady thing too.) Even though they have a good time together, neither of them should be having a love affair at the moment.

Caro says she agrees that maybe it's not the best time for Lety, but how about Aldo? Lety says the same goes for Aldo - he told her so. Caro seems intrigued by Lety's vehemence and tells her that in affairs of the heart, or in other matters, you shouldn't make decisions with words like "always" or "never." You should give yourself time.

Lety says no, not now, not ever. She asks if Caro thinks Aldo is interested in her. Caro thinks it's obvious that he's enchanted with her, and she seems to be getting less uncomfortable with him.

Lety says it's not a matter of comfort - she's being realistic. Anyway, does Caro think Lety can seduce someone?

Fortunately, the phone rings, ending this horrible conversation. Is it home? No, it's Aldo. She tells him she can't go out for a run because she spent the night listening to the sea, had insomnia, couldn't get up, etc. etc.

Caro describes the day she expects to have with the bellezas and tells Lety that beauty depends on attitude. (Lety gazes down at her red flannel jammies.) I think there is more to this conversation than I'm getting, but Caro tells Lety to take the morning off. Lety acts like she doesn't want to, so Caro orders her to take the morning off and reminds Lety that this "job" was all about getting Lety out of the city to recuperate. And these days with Aldo haven't been so bad for her either. (Lety is still holding the phone and doesn't want Aldo to hear this.)

Lety tells herself (please tell me if I got this wrong), "I was feeling better about Fernando when I was already happy with him." (Me sentaba mejor la de Don Fernando cuando yo todavia era feliz con el.")

---

Wednesday:
Fern buys hair gel. What brand will it be, and will we get to hear about its many virtues?
Tomas gives a rose to Alicia. Can you get tetanus from a thorn?

Labels: fea