Caray, Caray!

Octave is standing with her back to Bruno and D/M in someone's bedroom. Why don't I know? Because Bruno is frantically passing the cane to D/M so D/M can pretend to be still recovering from her "accident." I didn't see anyone walk in to the room. If Octave had entered D/M's room, she would have seen D/M walking around without a cane. If D/M and Bruno had entered the room, D/M would not have been without her cane. I just don't get it. Oh well, it doesn't matter.

Octave is there to tell D/M about the fight between Max and Diego. D/M slips up and says she knows about it. "How can that be? You weren't here," says Octave. D/M is starting to make up some story, but Octave cuts her off and says it doesn't matter. The important thing is that Max now thinks Diana is a tramp who has deceived him. Octave--"Now is the time to work your feminine magic and re-capture Max's attention. I think the two of you should move to Mexico for a couple of years so Max can put Diana behind him and start being a husband to you." Octave doesn't need to tell D/M twice. Bruno starts to object but D/M and Octave basically ignore her. Octave enlists D/M's help in luring Max to Mexico.

Lala is telling Gaby and Nancy about the fight between Diego and Max, and that Diego has been fired from Psycho Mansion. Nancy is sad that she'll never get to see Diego again. Gaby had no idea there was a fight. Lala fills in Gaby, and tells her she has no idea what has gotten into Diego. Diego is acting like his brother. What shame! In all her years at the mansion she's never seen a scandal of this nature. Lala tells Gaby she and her sister Diana picked a bad time to fall in love with the Irascible tools! Gaby says she must leave to comfort her sister. Nancy has a tear running down her cheek.

Boring stuff at Paco's bar. Apparently F/G's old friend and attorney has come up with some information that will clear F/G's name and create a scandal in the social circle of which Octave is a queen bee. F/G does her usual vengeance speech about how Octave and her family are all going to pay dearly for framing her. She wants Octave to spend the rest of her life in jail!

Gaby is on her way out of Psycho Mansion to comfort Diana. Octave spots her and asks her where she's going. When Gaby spinelessly says she's going to comfort Diana. Octave forbids her to go. "If you leave, you can never return." "Very well," says Gaby, who actually seems to have a spark of anger in her eyes, despite caving in to Octave's orders.

Max comes downstairs and Octave asks him to accompany her to the garden.

D/M is on a tirade with Bruno. D/M thinks moving to Mexico with Max is the idea of the century. Bruno reminds D/M that D/M is not Max's wife. The usual fight ensues.

Diego shows up at Granny M's and Diana's house. Granny tells Diego that Diana is devastated. Granny then sends Diego to Diana's bedroom to talk some sense into her. Diana is on the bed crying about how much she loves Max and how unfair life is. She is wallowing in her role of victim right now. Poor, poor, pitiful me!

Octave is strolling arm in arm with Max in the garden. Octave starts in on what a low-life (una muerta de hambre) Diana is. Max doesn't want to discuss his love-life with mom. Octave goes on and on about forgetting Diana and resurrecting his marriage to Marfil. If he moves to Mexico for two years with Marfil, she will make him a president of some department of the perfume company. "Think about it."

Diego seizes the opportunity to continue his campaign to make Diana his wife. Is this guy THAT desperate? The whole conversation is too disgusting for words. I'm really beginning to think Diego is a stalker. He's creeping me out. What ever happened to "No means No"? Granny needs to stick to her day job as a seamstress and quit moonlighting as a matchmaker and egging this maniac on. Diana tells him she needs to think about it and totally bursts into tears after Diego leaves. She thought bubbles, "What have I done to deserve every man sniffing around my tail, except the one putz I want?"

Octave is plotting with D/M. O—"All good women convince their men to do things by using the bed." D/M thinks that's a splendid idea.

Caramel is at Lala's, Diego's and Pancho's house for dinner. Caramel is prattling on and on about how happy she is that she and Pancho are getting married. Diego is slouched in a chair glowering. Lala is trying to be polite. Caramel asks Lala why she doesn't seem so excited. Lala tells her it's been a long day in the office. Lala leaves the room and then Caramel continues her happy babbling to Diego, trying to get him to act as excited as she is. Caramel nauseatingly goes on and on about how much in love she and Pancho are, and how they're going to be so happy.

Pancho is doing push-ups in the bedroom, when Lala walks in and tells him to stand up. "We need to talk!" She reminds him that he's getting married in a month and needs to quit sneaking around with Peyote. He tries to deny it. Lala then goes on to tell him what happened between Max and Diego earlier in the day. Pancho doesn't believe it.

D/M is in her bedroom pouring on a gallon of perfume. She is wearing some naughty little red number with black garters, stockings, and FM shoes. Bruno walks in and is aghast. More fighting between D/M and Bruno, about D/M's wanting to do the horizontal bop with Max. Bruno says sleeping with Max wasn't part of the plan. D/M—"Well guess what, now it is and there's not a thing you can do about it!" Bruno tries to grab D/M as D/M is strutting out of the room, but D/M pushes her onto the bed calling Bruno and idiot. After D/M leaves, Bruno the evil ice queen, starts crying. "What have I done? Debora has stolen Marfil's husband!"

Max is splayed out on the bed, drunk. He keeps muttering Diana's name and the thought of moving to Mexico. "That's what I need. I need to move to Mexico and forget that phony!" Next to the bed is some tall decanter with only about a quarter of the cherry-colored kool-aid liquid still in it. In one hand is an almost empty wine glass.

In struts D/M without her cane and wearing 18-inch heels with black pompoms on them. D/M then seduces Max, which of course doesn't take much. She's got on some really wet-looking lipstick and actually licks Max before zeroing in for the kill. Those two deserve one another!

Camila and Sylvie are gloating about Max dumping Diana and the look on Max's face when Camila told him about Diana's past. Emili-Oh is serving them drinks. He can't believe they are gossiping about Diana. Camila makes the mistake about attributing Diana's downfall to gossip from Andres. Emili-Oh asks what kind of person would listen to a blackmailer such as Andres. Camilia doesn't care, she's just glad Max dumped Diana. Emili-Oh asks what difference does it make if Max dumps Diana, because Max is still married to Marfil. Camila points out that Marfil is no competition at all!

Max and D/M are in bed together. This is too disgusting to even write about. Lots of face swallowing. D/M is begging Max to promise her she's the only one and that they will move to Mexico.

It is breakfast time and Granny M is trying to get Diana to eat. Diana is not hungry. She mentions she needs to go out and find a job. Granny M tells her to forget about the Irascibles. Diana tells Granny that Diego proposed "last night." Granny is delighted! He's such a **stalker** wonderful **stalker** noble **stalker** man! "Unlike that idiot Max who believes the first bad thing someone tells him."

Breakfast poolside at the Irascible mansion. Octave, Yolanda and Peyote are at one round table; Lunkhead, D/M and Max at another. Gaby is nowhere to be seen. She's either banished to the kitchen or servant's quarters. D/M has some good news she'd like to share! "Max and I are no longer getting divorced! Not only that, we are moving to Mexico!" Peyote asks Max if he's on drugs. Max agrees the divorce is off, but that he's still thinking about the job in Mexico. He hasn't decided. Octave is overjoyed at the news! They need to be alone together to repair the devastation to their marriage. Lunkhead thinks moving to Mexico is a good idea. That's where Pilar is and perhaps he'll go look for her. Octave puts the breaks on that idiotic suggestion. Even Peyote thinks looking for Pilar is a bad idea. Octave then tells Peyote that's the first coherent thing Peyote has said in awhile. Wham—slamming all her kids within 5 seconds!!

Nancy and Lala are in the kitchen talking to Gaby. Nancy rushes to tell Gaby the news from breakfast. Max is moving to Mexico. Gaby says Diana is going to die when she finds out. "Wait," says Nancy "That's not the worst. Larry wants to go to Mexico to find Pilar." Gaby is impactada. Lala reminds Gaby that she needs to get over Larry. "He's really not into you."

Octave is now in the living room with Max. She is thrilled that he's considering moving to Mexico with Marfil and that Max is now towing the line and following Octaves wishes. Max says to lay off, he hasn't decided about the move yet, "but if you're worried about me starting up with Diana again, don't worry. It's over for good this time." Octave couldn't be happier!

Diana is at the sewing machine putting on make-up and mooning about how much she loves Max. At that very moment the phone rings. It's Lala calling to give her bad news. "Is it about Max?"

Gaby is wheeling her suitcase through the living room when she runs into Lunkhead. Who cares what Lunkhead is wearing at this point. "What are you doing with your suitcase?" asks the master of the obvious. Gaby—"I'm leaving this house of horrors forever!"

Lala tells Diana that Max is moving to Mexico for two years. With his wife. Huge sigh and doe eyes from Diana.

Gaby tells Lunkhead she's his wife, but she's not his wife. They don't sleep together, eat together, and his family treats her like a zero. Lunkhead has the gall to apologize for being spineless and not standing up to his mom. Further, the tool has tears in his eyes. Gaby says he has nothing to apologize for. She was happy for the five minutes of their wedding day. It was a dream come true. Octave and Max walk up shattering this heart-warming little scene. Octave asks "wha's up with the suitcase?" "I'm leaving forever" states Gaby. "You haven't stolen anything have you?" Larry and Max defend Gaby. Larry turns to Gaby with tears rolling down his cheeks and tenderly touches Gaby's face. ***Puh-leeze!*** Then he turns around and walks away. Octave points to the front door and tells Gaby "don't let it hit you on your way out!" Max asks Octave why she must humiliate people. "Yo?" asks Octave.

Bruno and D/M are still discussing the impending move to Mexico, when Octave storms in. "You're not doing a very good job of convincing Max to move to Mexico."

Emili-Oh is at work but on the phone with Max. Apparently Max is asking for advice about moving to Mexico. There's a knock on the door and it's the slut cousins. Camila is wearing a black halter top with sequins and black low-rise capris. Sylvie is in a white low cut tank top, a black short skirt, and a white wig to match her white top. The outfit wouldn't be complete without Sylvie's white lace anklets and black stiletto heels. What visions of chastity! They've come to hit up Camila's favorite brother (and only brother that I know of) for a "loan." Sylvie has her hand out doing the "gimme, gimme, gimme" thing. Emili-Oh asks Camila if she's heard that Max is thinking about moving to Mexico with Marfil. Camila is impactada. "That thief!!!!" She storms out of the room, slamming the door. Sylvie, who can all but taste the blood, says "oh no, D/M is in trouble now! The mansion will be shaking!"

Diana asks Lala to find out when Max and D/M are leaving. She wants to go to the airport to see Max "for the last time." ***Cry me a river!***

Max is curled up on the bed in a fetal position thinking about Diana and how she "done him wrong." D/M walks in and climbs on top of him, pulling all her best moves to convince him to move.

Gaby returns to Granny M's house. Heartbroken. Granny M is all but tap-dancing with happiness that Gaby is now home.

Lunkhead is splayed on the bed lamenting about his pathetic behavior. He tries to mock-apologize to the now absent Gaby for using her. He'll never love her. Doesn't Lunkhead have some other telenovela to go to? He really needs to just disappear. What a slug.

Yolanda and Nancy are talking when the doorbell rings about 80 times. Before Nancy can answer the door, Camila comes flying in. "Where's Marfil?" Yolanda says upstairs. Camila runs up the stairs. D/M is patting herself on the back when Camila barges in. Another cat fight ensues with each trying to out-do the other with insults and threats. Someone needs to turn a fire hose on those two, who at this point are biting, slapping, screaming, punching, and rolling around on the bed.

F/G is talking to Paco at his bar. She's saying the attorney is a good man and will bury the Irascibles. She then says how sorry she feels for Gaby and Diana who have fallen for the wrong men. "They remind me of my daughters who were stolen from me." Foreshadowing anyone?

Max is sitting on the bed saying he needs to hate Diana and forget about her.

The fight continues until Bruno walks in and breaks it up. How big is this house? I find it hard to believe that no one hears the commotion.

Octave is pointing out to Yolanda that it's strange she hasn't heard further from F/G. Yolanda suggests that F/G has left Miami.

Filler stuff. Paco and Lorenzo are talking about F/G and her daughters. Who cares?

Back to the fight. Now Bruno is in the middle of the two fieras. Too bad she didn't bring her whip and chair! Camila threatens to kill D/M. Personally, they seem to be pretty evenly matched. After Camila finally leaves, D/M threatens Bruno, "Don't you dare say a word about this to Max!" I could all but hear this Miami fight in Illinois. I guess Max is wallowing too deep in his own private cesspool to hear a thing.

F/G is at Granny M's house talking to Granny, Diana and Gaby. F/G is trying to incite a riot. Neither Gaby nor Diana wants any part of destroying the Irascible boys. Granny pleads with F/G to not destroy the souls of her granddaughters. F/G is too caught up in her own personal vendetta to care about the girls. She is going to make the Irascibles crawl at her feet!

Credits roll!

Labels: acorralada

Permalink posted by klee @ 7:33 PM