Caray, Caray!

Today's opener starts with a repeat of drunk Diego-the-Stalker bursting into Granny M's house and belly-aching about what a good and noble guy he is, all he's done is love Diana, yet if Diana is found innocent, Diana is going to take back that putz Max. He then proceeds to spill the beans about Diana being pregnant. Granny M is impactada. I'd say the rest of the crowd in that little house was impactada about the pregnancy, but from what I can gather, EVERYONE knows about Diana's pregnancy but Granny M and Max. I think the rest of the gang is just shocked that Granny M just found out the worst kept secret. Granny M keeps asking "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

Lala has just been having a "heart-to-heart" talk with her son, telling him he needs to stop messing around with Peyote and deceiving his wife. Caramel walks up at the tail end of the conversation and wants to know who's being deceived. Lala quickly covers by saying she's just telling Panchalon his days of being a Casanova are over. He needs to be faithful, responsible, yada, yada, yada. Pancho tells his blushing bride that he's been a changed man ever since he tied the knot. Of course Caramel believes everything she's been told. She then warns Lala that Diego is drunk and on the loose, ranting about Diana not wanting him. Lala sends Pancho to go and find his brother the stalker.

Doc Evil's lawyer is reading the riot act to Doc Evil and Andres, after Andres was caught lying on the stand. The lawyer is furious that he wasn't told about Andres' fight at the bar which occurred at the same time he was supposedly witnessing the attack on Doc Evil at Doc Evil's apartment. The trial has now turned into a word vs. word argument. The lawyer storms out and Doc Evil calls either Andres or the attorney an imbecile.

Back to Granny M's house where Granny M is still asking "Why?" and saying she can't believe that Diana could hide something like this from her. Granny M is acting pretty righteous for a woman who has deceived Diana and Little Door Mat for around 20 years. She seems to have conveniently forgotten the fact she's not really their granny. But I digress. Diego slurs something about the fact that he and Diana were supposed to be married and no one was to ever know the bambino was actually Max's. F/G states the obvious that Diego has had too much to drink and should probably leave. No putting one over on our plucky abogada. Paco seconds the motion. Diego-the-Stalker stumbles out dejectedly.

FM confronts Max about being at Diana's trial. She's not happy, to say the least.

Granny M is on a roll, ripping Diana to shreds for getting pregnant and deceiving her. How could she do that? Oh, the shame! I didn't raise you to be "THAT" kind of woman! Diego is such a good man and you are just using him! On and on it goes. . .Granny DS is apparently not the only one who has lost her memory. At any rate, F/G tells Granny M that Diana was a fool in love and now needs their support. Especially with the trial! Granny M rides out of the room on her high horse, while F/G tries to comfort Diana.

Paco and Pancho carry Diego-the Stalker into Lala's house. Lala wants to know why Diego is so drunk. Pancho ends up carrying Diego over his shoulder into the bathroom, for a cold shower. Pancho asks what's up. Diego sits in the shower sobbing that Diana doesn't love him. Pancho tells Diego that Diana is not good enough for him. Diego dramatically says "I can't live without her!" Cue the brotherly embrace and thankfully a commercial. This scene is to nauseating to watch.

More yapping by FM about Max hanging out at Diana's trial. More of Max telling FM she can't tell him what to do. At the crescendo of all of this, Max throws her out of the room and leaves her outside banging on the door.

RM is continuing her physical therapy with Isabel. RM asks Isabel how much longer until she can walk. Isabel says it will be awhile, unless she wants to return to the Irascible mansion in a wheelchair. "No, I can't do that! I need to be in perfect condition when I face Max and confront my evil twin. I need to be better than I was before the accident." The door bell rings. Isabel says it must be the neighbor who is always dropping by to borrow coffee or sugar. Nope. It's Andres. Isabel invites him to come back to the room and visit while she's performing physical therapy on Marfil.

F/G is now in Diana's bedroom still trying to comfort Diana. Diana says Granny M will never forgive her. F/G says she will eventually. F/G blames everything on Max. Diana defends him, of course. The usual boring exchange.

Meanwhile Peyote is still locked in her bedroom. The phone rings and it's Pancho. She begs him to help her escape. He says he can't right now because of "Carmelita." She asks Pancho why he has used that term of endearment. Pancho makes up some excuse and Peyote seems to buy it. Lots of dopey "I love you's" and Pancho makes some kissing noise into the phone.

Pancho walks outside where Lala corners him for another mother-son chat. He shouldn't be dallying with Peyote, and in fact, is he aware Peyote does drugs? Does he sell her said drugs? Pancho denies all, of course. Further, Lala doesn't want to lose her job because of Pancho. He's a married man now and has to stop seeing other women; after all, he wouldn't like it if Caramel was seeing other men. "That's different," says Pancho. "I'm a man." Lala "forbids" him to see Peyote again. As if!

Isabel is trying to convince Andres to meet Marfil. Andres says he has enough problems. The last thing he wants to do is meet an invalid. Marfil then calls Isabel from the bedroom. Andres then says he's going to go to the bar instead and runs out. Let me get this straight. Doc Evil is the doctor for the Irascibles. Andres is Doc Evil's chauffeur. Setting aside the fact he's been married to Debora (aka the faux Marfil), how can he have no idea who Marfil is? It's just plain C-R-A-Z-Y!

Max is lying on the bed with his usual look of constipation. There's a knock on the door; it's his Aunt Yolanda. They discuss Diana's trial. Yolanda believes Diana is a good person. Max isn't so sure. Yolanda tells Max he needs to forgive Diana if she's found guilty.

Diego is called to the stand at Diana's trial. F/G questions him about the bad blood between him and Doc Evil. He testifies that Doc Evil tried to attack Diana, his fiancée. Doc Evil's attorney tries to object but the judge overrules him. Diego testifies that Doc Evil is a scum bag. When it's time for the cross examination, Doc Evil's attorney has no further questions.

Bruno interrupts a lovely poolside breakfast to tell Octave that Peyote has escaped through a window. Meanwhile, Rene is wearing a very tight yellow bathing suit and doing push-ups on a ledge at the beach. He sees Peyote and does a face plant. Peyote tells him she's escaped and needs his help.

Caramel is now on the witness stand. F/G asks her to relate what happened the night Doc Evil was attacked. Caramel says she was working at her father's bar when Andres came in. She told Andres her father didn't want him in the bar. Andres got mad and pulled a knife on Caramel, saying he was going to teach her a lesson. F/G (who at the time was in singer mode and not attorney mode) walked up behind Andres and hit him over the head with a bottle. This prompted a bunch of patrons to get involved and a brawl ensued. During the melee, Andres escaped. After Caramel finishes her story, the judge asks Doc Evil's attorney, Borges, if he has any questions. He stands up, pauses, and after a climactic moment, says he has no questions and sits back down. The "Team Diana" side of the courtroom is all smiles. The bailiff then calls Diana to the stand. Max still looks constipated, Diana looks like she's had one too many Valiums.

Octave is continuing to rant and rave about Peyote. Larry and Yolanda defend Peyote. Finally Octave tells Larry to shut up.

Peyote is going through withdrawal and is begging Rene to call Andres, who is not answering his cell phone. Peyote is biting her nails. Rene tells her to go back home and quit making a scene.

Diana is testifying that she only saw Doc Evil that fateful night. F/G makes a point that Doc Evil had to find a low-life, such as Andres, who would be willing to lie and back up Doc Evil's manufactured story about Diana trying to rob and kill him. She then rests her case. The judge asks Borges, the attorney, if he has any other questions. Nope. Ninguna. Nada. Nyet. The judge calls for a recess while the jury deliberates. Everyone leaves the courtroom except Max, who looks longingly at Diana and F/G. F/G assures Diana that she will be found innocent.

FM is gloating to Bruno about how entertaining Octave and Peyote are. She loves it when Peyote disobeys her mum. In the middle of her smug soliloquy, we are saved by the bell. The cell phone bell. It is the Real Marfil. FM is impactada!

Max and Emili-Oh are discussing the trial and whether or not Max believes Diana's story. Up struts Diego the Stalker and asks Max, "What the heck are you doing here?"

Now we are treated to two, two, two minxes in one! We get the lovely split screen effect. Lots of bickering between the Real Marfil and the Fake Marfil. FM tells RM that Max is waiting for her nude, in the tub. RM calls FM a "zorra" and hangs up.

Max and Diego partake in a lot of chest beating and caveman-like behavior (no offense to the caveman who appears in the GEICO commercial). "What are you doing here?" "It's a free country!" This sort of nonsense. Diego says when Diana is found innocent, she's going to be with him. "Hah!" says Max. "She loves ME!" Then the pushing and shoving begins until court personnel pull them apart. What a couple of tools! Thankfully we are treated to another commercial break.

F/G is talking to The Door Mat and Diana. I believe she is trying to get Diana to marry The Stalker! Geez! The Door Mat backs up F/G as well. What is with everyone supporting The Stalker? Diana needs to wake up and flee to a town far, far away from all these nutty people. Once again F/G tries to get the girls to join in her vengeance against the Irascibles.

Octave is pacing back and forth and squawking about her daughter to Yolanda. In the middle of her tirade, who should appear but Rene and Peyote. Rene, ever the brown-noser, proudly states he's returned Peyote safe and sound. And drug free. We then have a screaming match between mother and daughter, with Peyote telling her mother "You've never cared about me. You care more about your sons!" Octave shouts back "You're a disobedient ingrate!" Larry tries to get everyone to calm down. Finally Peyote storms off saying Octave can't keep her in jail or tell her what to do. Rene goes after Peyote. After Rene and Peyote leave, Yolanda FINALLY stands up to Octave and tells her, "Like it or not, everything Peyote said is true!!!"

After a five-second deliberation, drum roll please. . . Diana is found. . .hold onto your seats. . .NOT GUILTY!!!! Lots of jubilation in the court. Granny M seems to have forgotten the shame Diana has caused her, as she runs up to hug our heretofore hapless heroine. Doc Evil glares and stomps out. Doc Evil's attorney comes over to shake Diana's and F/G's hand. He seems very pleased with the verdict. Max watches as Diego walks up to congratulate and kiss Diana. Diana promptly wipes off the kiss. Max then looks on forlornly. Diana and Diego glare at Max as they walk out. Max then sits alone in the courtroom with tears in his eyes. "Forgive me, Diana. Forgive me!"

And another episode is in the can as the credits roll!

Labels: acorralada

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