Caray, Caray!

Octavia is thinking again about Paco’s voice . . .

Doc Evil thought bubbles at the operating table . . . this operation is risky: I could leave him an invalid for life. (Yeah!) The scalpel, please.

In the waiting room at Hospital TM, the family gathers around. Pancho is blaming Diana for everything that happened. Paco and Gaviota tell him to stop, it’s very unjust.

FM stares at a drunken Max. Max has the same torpid expression asleep that he has when awake.

Paola is still wearing the spider web costume from the clearance rack at Frederick's of Hollywood. I notice there is a bad reproduction of a Miro painting in the room. Another masterpiece from the Irascibles' world-class art collection.

O wants Paola to go to rehab, because she is becoming a libertine. Paola says she’s tired of having to keep up appearances. She asks her mother, why do you treat me different from my brothers? Cut away before impactada Octavia can answer.

Back at the hospital Gaviota is also saying that Doc Evil should not perform the surgery.

At the little house, RM is trying to stand up in her wheelchair (silla de ruedas).

Now O answers Paola: Why are you asking such a stupid question? Well, mom, I never got a hug or a kiss, you never congratulated me on my school degree (or something having to do with school). I’m sure that Paola was another model student, like RM.

O thought bubbles: because you are a child of sin, and the only man I ever loved. Then she tells Paola not to waste her time.

Back at the hospital, Doc Evil tells everyone that there were two bullets and Diego is not going to be able to walk. There is a spinal cord injury.

Appropriately enough, we cut to RM, who now manages to stand up out of her chair. I did it, she shouts triumphantly. (“I can walk, mein fuhrer,” to quote Dr. Strangelove.) Oops, she falls down. Isabel tucks her in bed and warns her that she’s doing too much.

Cut to Doc Evil’s office, where Andres is lounging around on the couch. You get a good view of Doc Evil’s cheesy seventh grade anatomy illustrations. I've been meaning to comment on these. You know you're in a cheap production when they use these types of illustrations in a doctor's office.

Paola is now commiserating with Yolanda. Yolanda points out that Octavia is a very special character (understatement of the year). Paola asks Yolanda to hug her. Pobrecita.

Max now wakes up. FM calls him a drunk, but he says he had to drink to escape her shrieking. He has a point. She says she does it because she loves him so much. He says she is talking too much. I can’t live without you, she claims.

Back at the hospital, Diana goes into the room where Diego is on life support. You don’t deserve this, she says, crying. Gaviota tells her to be strong, not to cry, but she can’t accept it. Paco says they should go to the cafeteria to get a snack.

Lala is praying in the chapel and Pancho comes in. She is worried about how to tell Diego he can’t walk. They should break it to him gently. She begs Pancholon not to be hard on Diana, she says Diana cares for Diego. Pancho is still grumbling about how this would not have happened if not for Diana.

Caramelo calls the mansion to tell them that Lala can’t come to work. She actually says: “Is this the Irascible Mansion?” Max answers the phone. She tells him what happened. Betcha can't guess where he's going next.

Nancy cries over Diego. Naturally, she seems much more upset than Diana.

Max leaves the house and FM shrieks.

Diego is having a nightmare in his hospital bed. Nancy tells Diana to be strong.

Doc Evil laughs at Andres.

More boring blabber between Diana and Lala.

Yolanda begs Octavia to treat Paola better—the poor girl is falling into an abyss. O reminds her that she conceived the baby when her husband was on a business trip and she’s a product of sin, yada yada yada. O is losing patience and wants to throw Paola in the street, if I understood correctly. (P.S., I apologize for an error I think I made the last time this was mentioned. I thought she said she went on a business trip, but now it seems that she said the husband was on a business trip.)

Max now shows up at the ER. Gaviota calls him trash. No, you’re trash, he says. You were in prison. (hasn’t he learned anything yet?)

As usual, O asks FM where Max is. She should get a LoJack. FM tells her he’s drunk again, on account of that nurse.

Diego is waking up. Pancho continues to blame Diana right in Diego’s earshot. Way to go, bro. Lala tries to get him to stop. Diego wakes up. What’s going on? I can’t feel my legs! Where’s the rest of me? I heard shots and got a big pain in my back. I can’t feel or move my feet. I am paralyzed. Pancho, the soul of discretion, blurts out: You will never walk again!

Meanwhile, Gaviota and Max are trading insults. Yes, I was in prison too long, but I am not a killer. It was an injustice by the Irascibles. Your mother gave false evidence, she took everything. (I think she also said that O killed the husband.) You’re crazy, Max says. Yeah, I’m crazy with the injustice. Then you took Diana and Gaby. You’re ruining everything. Look, Lady, he says: You have no right . . .I like the way he resorts to high-handed classism. Muertas de hambre should never have the temerity to make accusations against their betters. Gaviota vows to get back everything and avenge the injustice. Gaviota tells him to leave. She doesn’t want him near Diana. Granny M wants to avoid a scandal.

Diego is railing at the long useless life that stretches before him in a wheelchair. He wants to die.

Nancy comes in to see O. O yells at her. I gave you two hours off for the wedding of that piano teacher, and you come in hours late. Nancy is crying bitterly. She says it’s terrible, that Diego was shot after the wedding by a masked man, etc. She cries hysterically. Is he dead, asks O? Stop crying. You’re acting like he’s your husband! Nancy says that he will be paralyzed for life. FM affects her gleeful look.

Rene comes in to see Lunkhead. We haven’t seen much of him for a few days. He is lounging on bed in his usual position, but this time his nether regions are clothed in jeans. He is wearing an odd green T shirt with embroidered gold dots. Rene tells Lunk that Paola is out cold in her bed. He asks if Lunk was thinking about Pilar. No, he was thinking of Gaby, of a kiss. You’re thinking of your wife, the sirvienta? Could be that you love her without realizing it?

Nancy tells O that by the way, Lala won’t be able to come to work for a few days. O dismisses the igualada. Now O and FM rejoice over the news. This development means that Diana will be out of Max’s life for good. She won’t dare leave her husband if he’s a cripple. She’ll have to stay with him and play the saintly wife. They cackle like two hens.

Back at the hospital, Lala wants to stay all night, and Diana says that she will stay. Pancho throws Diana out, and Lala scolds him.

FM and O continue their figurative high-fiving. That baratija Diana cannot steal Max. He’ll have to come back to his wife. “Baratija” is defined as “trinket,” but their tone implies a heaping helping of “muerta de hambre.” We should just start abbreviating it as MDH.

Max bursts in with a burning question on his lips: Tell me the truth, Ma. Did you steal the house, the fortune and the perfume factory? I want to know if you’re a thief. Cut to O’s shocked face, no surprise. It will be fun to see her squirm. Credits roll.

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