Caray, Caray!

Pancho and Diego are chatting in the garden when Gaby and Diana arrive. Pancho, on behalf of his stalker brother, asks Diana where she's been. Was she with Max? Diana says "Of course not!" Gaby pipes up that the two of them have been together the whole time. Pancho doesn't believe it, and tries to incite a riot by stirring up his brother. Diego tells Diana she's not allowed to leave the house (which is Granny M's house by-the-way) unless Pancho accompanies her. Diana asks, "What is this, the middle ages?" Pancho then riles up Diego even further by saying Diana is hiding something and playing Diego for a fool with her lies. Diana finally walks away from the two barbarians.

F/G, Paco and Bar Stud Jorge are discussing F/G's good fortune in finding her daughters. "I had a feeling they were my daughters," says F/G who apparently has 20-20 hindsight. "What are you going to do now?" asks Paco. F/G--"I am now going to really, really unleash the worst of plagues upon the Irascible family. The worst of my vengeance is about to commence." F/G goes on to say how she is now arising from the ashes.

Pancho confronts Diana in Diana and Diego's bedroom. The two of them are now alone in there. He accuses Diana of seeing Max. Vapid look from Diana.

Max is still yelling at Octave about the Irascible family's sordid past (stealing F/G's perfume factory, fortune, killing F/G's husband, stealing F/G's children, and framing F/G for a murder she didn't commit, for you new viewers out there.) "This whole family is a sham. As for you Auntie, you are mired in this scandal as well!" Yolanda sobs that she only helped because she had to be faithful to her sister, Max needs to let the past go because he's driving his mom crazy. Octave tells Max that everything he's said is true, but now that he knows about the past, he now needs to help protect the family. "I will NEVER help you!" shouts Max righteously.

Pancho is continuing to confront Diana in her bedroom. She's the disgrace of the 'hood. Diana won't look at him, however she keeps denying having seen Max and tells Pancho she's tired of his accusations. She's everything BUT convincing with her lame excuses. Finally she tells Pancho she needs to rest. Pancho leaves the room with a dire warning. "I can't prove it yet, but if I find out that you've seen Max, you have no idea of what I'm capable. I won't let you make a joke out of my brother!"

Debora is ranting to Bruno. She's mad that Max wants nothing to do with her because of Diana. Bruno points out that Diana is the least of their worries right now. What are they going to do about Andres? Andres is going to ruin all their plans. Debora calls Andres a parasite. Bruno suggests Debora and Max move somewhere far away. Debora replies there's nothing she'd like better, but Max the idiot refuses to leave. Bruno tells Debora she'd better come up with something.

Max is still yelling at Octave about all the evils brought upon F/G and her daughters. Yolanda tries to calm him down. Max refuses to help Octave maintain the family's ill-gotten spoils. He calls Octave a disgrace and Octave slaps him, accusing him of putting Diana before his own flesh and blood. Max stomps off. Yolanda tells Octave it was a mistake to frame F/G and steal her fortune. Octave tells Yolanda to quit being so hysterical – she (Octave) is not afraid of F/G and plans to destroy that trash once and for all.

Diego rolls into Diana's bedroom and wants to know what happened between Diana and Pancho. Diana says it was nothing. "Don't worry. Nothing happened." For once Diego wasn't throwing something or ranting. I'm sure this won't last long.

Max walks into his room and Debora sneaks up behind him in an amorous mood. She's wearing F/G's red ten-inch wide cummerbund and some slinky red and white top. In fact, I think I've seen Diana wear this belt as well. You've got to give Wardrobe credit for helping to contain production costs. Max clearly is still not in the mood. "Did you know that Diana is pregnant?" Debora is impactada.

Yolanda is still crying. Octave tells her to suck it up and quit being so stupid. F/G is never going to get her former life back.

Rene is in the garden. After getting caught by Yolanda rubbing a cherub's butt on Tuesday's episode, he has now managed to get his hand stuck in the mouth of a lion statue. Only Rene. Of course Yolanda catches him this time as well. He sees that she's crying and wants to know what's going on. Yolanda tells him it's nothing, her eyes are just burning. Rene produces a handkerchief and wipes her eyes; he doesn't like seeing her sad. She's about to leave but Rene convinces her to set a spell. They can talk about politics, finances, movies, UFO's. . .anything. His antics and dorky behavior are apparently endearing to Yolanda, who has now forgotten she was crying just two minutes prior; I must say his dimple is endearing to me.

Debora composes herself and tells Max "Of course I know she's pregnant!" Max wants to know why Debora never told him. "Why would I tell you? Diana is having Diego's baby. What's the big deal?" Max walks out. Debora tells the camera that Max must never find out Diana is pregnant with Max's baby.

Gaby and Granny M are chatting in the garden. Gaby is telling Granny M what a creep Diego is turning out to be. Gaby feels guilty for talking Diana into marrying him just to give the baby a father. Max is her true love. Granny M reminds Gaby that Max and Diana can never be together. "F/G would never allow it." Gaby says, "With all due respect, F/G isn't in a position to dictate our love lives. When you have a love as grand and true as theirs, anything is possible." Granny M suddenly starts defending F/G's plan of vengeance. Gaby is confundida with Granny's sudden change of heart. Granny M thought bubbles, "If you and Diana only knew that F/G is your real mother!"

F/G is in her dressing room swearing revenge. Still.

Max confronts Lala and commands her to tell him the truth. Is Diana having his baby?

Andres and Doc Evil are talking. Doc Evil can't believe that Diana was found innocent. Doc Evil can't stop obsessing about her; perhaps because he was never able to have her. "All women want me! Why not her?" Andres asks what Doc Evil plans to do about it. Doc Evil isn't sure yet, but he knows Diana's attending physician. Diana has her monthly checkups at the hospital. I see a Code of Ethics violation coming up!

Rene is still schmoozing Yolanda. Finally he gets serious and wants to know why Yolanda has never married. Yolanda says she's never found her prince (principe azul). Rene points out that no man is perfect and actually puts some coherent thoughts together. Yolanda tells him she's never seen him so serious. Rene responds that when he tries to act mature, his friends mock him (or something to that effect). Yolanda clearly likes his serious side. Suddenly you hear all this squealing in the background. It's Peyote who is thrilled to see him and jumps on him from behind. Peyote announces she wants Rene to take her to the mall to buy lingerie. Yolanda is clearly embarrassed. Peyote tells Rene that Yolanda is a middle-aged nun (I think). Rene returns to his role of Dufus Deluxe.

Max is still pushing Lala for an answer to his question. Finally Lala, clearly nervous, says the baby is Diego's of course. Max walks off dejected, still in his too-tight ugly baby-blue sweater, dark pants, and white shoes.

Diego is back in the bedroom with yet another grisly painting. Who does these things for real? An intern from the Set Design Department? This one is of a man with a bare chest. Enough said. Diego dramatically points out "Dark colors. Somber as my soul." We are spared more of his "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms" mood when the phone rings. It's his mamacita. She's glad he answered the phone. Max saw Diana pregnant and is now asking who's the daddy. I'm sure Diana is going to be in BIG trouble when she gets home now.

The moment we've been expecting has now arrived. The phone rings in Max's room and Debora answers. It's Andres. They call each other "pig" among other pleasantries being exchanged. Andres demands $5,000 by tomorrow. Diana says she's going to need more time. Andres says, "too bad, so sad. I want the money by tomorrow or I'll tell Max."

"Maldito, maldito, maldito!!" whines Deb, as suspenseful and dramatic music plays in the background. I find it comical that Andres only wants $5,000. How small-time is that?

"Diana… Diana… DIANA!!!!" screams Diego calling for his wayward wife. "What's with the shouting?" asks little Miss Innocent as she enters the room, still holding her faux belly. "Shut the door!!! You lied to me about seeing Max!!! He knows you're pregnant!!!"

Max and Granny DS are walking in the garden. Granny DS says she likes walking outside, but she doesn't like going by herself. She only likes hanging out with Max and Diana. Max announces that Diana is having a baby. Granny DS is excited that she's now going to be a great grandmother. Max sadly tells her the baby isn't his.

Diego is still yelling at Diana for lying to him. Diana tries to say something but he tells her to shut up. He continues with his verbal abuse and accuses her of lying to him and Pancho. Diana said Max happened to see her at the mall; it was no big deal. "Does Max know he's the father of the baby?" asks Diego. "Of course not," replies Diana. Diego starts ranting how Gaby lied as well. This abuse goes on way too long. Diana stands with her typical blank look. Have any of you ever noticed how dilated her pupils always are? You'd think with all the production lighting they'd be smaller.

Octave summons Lala. "Why didn't you tell me F/G was the mother of Diana and Gaby?" Lala replies she just recently found out; as long as she's known the girls, they've lived with their granny. Octave asks if she's lying. "Of course not," says Lala. Octave excuses her and tells her to forget they've talked about this. Lala leaves. Octave announces to no one in particular that she's going to destroy F/G. Personally, I think the WWE ought to hire these two and sell tickets. HBO could show it on PPV.

F/G is getting ready for a show when Paco knocks on the door to give her the ten-minute warning. They then have a boring discussion about her planned vengeance on the Irascibles and dragging Diana and Gaby into her fight. Paco tells F/G he loves her. She tells him she doesn't have time for love. If you haven't seen this part, you haven't missed much. Paco sure seems to be drawn to shallow women (F/G and "Alicia"—AKA Octave). Why can't he find a good woman like Yolanda? Now those two would make a good couple.

Octave is still babbling when Yolanda tells her dinner is ready. "I'm not eating," says Octave. More discussions about F/G. Octave has decided to buy Reynoso's loyalty. Yolanda doubts Reynoso can be bought. "Everyone has a price," declares Octave.

Paco and F/G walk into the dressing room with a canned audience clapping in the background. Suddenly the applause stops. F/G has an idea. Paco wants to know if she's planning to modify her set. "This has nothing to do with me as an artist. I want to throw a party in my honor and force the Irascibles to invite Diana and Gaby." At least I think this is the gist of the plan. It's not making a lot of sense to me right now.

Yolanda comes into Max's room, where he is lying shirtless on the bed. "Why aren't you coming to dinner?" asks Yolanda. Max tells Yolanda Diana is pregnant. He then goes on to whine about Diana and how wonderful and pure she was until F/G got a hold of her. Yolanda sheds one glycerin tear of true dolor.

Andres sneaks up behind Debora who is poolside in some risqué black tank top held together by three strings. She is displaying ample loads of cleavage. "What are you doing here?" asks Debora. A—"I've come to collect my $5,000." D—"But I told you I couldn't get it until tomorrow." A—"OK, I'm a gallant kinda guy. Tomorrow it is. If I don't have it by tomorrow, however, I'm going to tell Max you're not Marfil. Ciao!" With this he gives her a quick kiss and exits stage right. Debora is furiosa.

Max calls Diana. "Since I saw you yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you!" Their love theme plays as the commercials roll.

Emili-Oh opens the door to a very drunk Camila and Dalmatian Girl (Sylvie). Emili-Oh is furious with them for extorting money from his boss. "What's the big deal?" giggles Camila. E--"I could get fired because of you two." "Not to worry," slurs Camila. "You can always find another job." ***Can any of you viewers out there tell me if Camila suggested that Emili-Oh be a stripper? I couldn't quite understand the full exchange.***Lots of snickering. The scene ends with Emili-Oh telling them to not be at HIS apartment when he returns home from work. Camila and Sylvie are giggling that with all their new-found wealth, they can afford to get their own place!

Max starts to ask about the baby, but before he can finish, Diana tells him the baby is Diego's. She tells him not to call her anymore because Diego might answer and cause problems for her. She then hangs up on him. More glassy stares and belly caressing. Her pupils seem to be smaller now that she's in the backyard in a hammock. ***I've not had children, but it seems to me being nine months pregnant and being in a hammock is not a really good thing.*** She tells herself she still loves him and that just hearing his voice again makes her shudder. Love theme plays.

Lorenzo brings F/G her coffee, "just as you like it." He tells her how heartfelt her singing was the night before. "Diana and Gaby are going to be proud you're their mother." F/G says she's going to give them back the honor that Max and Larry took from them.

Octave is laying prone in bed, dramatically clutching a sachet to her temple. She clearly has Excedrin Headache Number 52. Lunkhead walks in holding the newspaper. He's got his shirt half tucked in again. He asks Octave if she's got a minute. Octave says if he needs money, her checkbook is on the table. "That's not why I'm here. Are you having troubles?" "Of course not," replies Octave. "Why do you ask?" Larry hands her the newspaper. "Then what is the meaning of this article? Is it true?" ***I had to advance the TiVo frame by frame. It says something about "Octavia de Irascible—the prestigious businesswoman is suspected of a scam." Unfortunately I couldn't read the rest of the article. It looks like someone pasted a fake article on top of a real newspaper, since some of the other columns are cut off and the fonts and spacing are clearly different.***

Octave is muchisima impactada!

Credits roll.

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