Caray, Caray!

Show opens up with Diego and Mangle in bed having some champagne. Diego apologizes for his speedy exit at the reception and for leaving her all by her lonesome on their wedding night. He was really upset by Monty & Esme’s baby news and he needed to be alone to sort his thoughts (translate that as have a little romp with Esme). He has resigned to losing Esme and he hopes that with her as his bride, she makes him very happy. Mangle smiles and says, you betcha I will or something along those lines. Diego promises to make the night memorable and they share an awkward kiss. Diego apologizes says that he’s just shy and needs alcohol to loosen him up.

Jump to Esme and Olmos before the Judge recording her signature on the contract turning over Esme’s fortune to Monty. Olmos reminds Esme about her jewels and he will make sure that they get delivered when she makes her escape with her mom. Esme asks Olmos who will help them make the getaway and Olmos says don’t worry its someone he totally trusts. Esme questions him some more but Olmos says no more questions until your mom is free. Olmos starts rifling through some papers and Esme looks at him warily.

At the Moncada’s FS has a strong hold on Dena and she orders him to let her go. FS says she aint going until she tells him what she knows that will stop his wedding with MP. Dena doesn’t want to say anything but don’t force her. FS doesn’t like being threatened and she shouldn’t go nosing around in his life sister or not else he will cut her off from his life. Dena tells him he did that a long time ago since when their parents were killed. FS doesn’t want to talk about it. Dena tells him he hasn’t gotten over their death shouldn’t feel guilty about it he was only a child, etc. FS says yes but I coulda done something, the parents were skinned and tortured to death, Indians showed no compassion. Dena tells him ever since that day he’s lost his compassion even towards himself. You feel bad for FS you really do. I mean you feel his torment but you remember his list of bad stuff and I remember why he’s a villain. FS begs Dena that he’s waited all this time to be with MP .Dena will not permit FS to deceive her and he will regret not having listened to her. When Dena leaves FS starts thinking that it was her who steal the key to SK’s “iron” mask. Yeah sure FS it was Dena (she doesn’t even know about the darn thing) next thing you know he’s going to accuse Monty or even Piza.

At the prison, Hermes tells SK that they are knocking down the wall while SK worries that she is dead meat. Hermes says that maybe they want to help her if VCR is taking all this effort into locating her. SK doesn’t think so because even after all his years imprisoned the battle for Spanish crown still goes on and there are a lot of people who would do anything to get rid of her. Hermes (who I think he wants to use her “rescue” as his get out of jail free card) tells her that this is their chance to get out of jail. SK needs a sign because she’s got a bad feeling about this if she got word from her daughter she’d be more comfortable. Hermes then tells her maybe she’s outside waiting for her rescue. Finally Auggy breaks the wall and makes a small opening. Everyone says PU and they play the blame game as to who let one fly. Just kidding. VCR complains about the stench and Monty tells him well IT IS a sewer, what did you think sunshine and roses? VCR doesn’t care, even if they get sick breathing that filth (inmundicia) he will not rest until they checked out the sewer. Penguin Suit looks in with his torch and let me tell you it looks mad dark in there so I don’t know what he was expecting to see but it woulda been funny if Hermes appeared in front of him and yelled BOO! PS says something, I don’t know his mouth his covered I can’t understand him. VCR takes torch and looks in and asks if there is anybody there and somebody responds with nobody in here but us mice (I always wanted use that line). VCR announces himself to the stench and probably the poo lining the walls while Monty and Piza look at each other wondering who will poop out their brick first. VCR yells out that I’ve come to free you and you will be returned to your rightful place, said the spider to the fly.

Olmos and Esme with her escort not to far behind are talking a stroll planning SK’s escape. Olmos tells Esme that he's just waiting for his contact to give the signal. Dena spots her and Olmos is off to give Monty the contract papers. Dena questions Esme's blind trust of Olmos. Esme says its thanks to Olmos she wasn’t discovered at the prison his contacts are taking care of her mom. Dena tells Esme that nothing in this life is free and Olmos must have some powerful reasons for helping her. Esme says maybe but all she cares about his seeing her mom freed. Dena worries that that everything is going so smooth it scares her. She feels it in her chest that something bad is going to happen. I think Dena and Alej are sharing ulcers. I guess when you marry you also share stomach conditions. Esme starts looking worried (oh my its contagious) but shakes it off and they go for tea.

Cue Amor Gitano

Back to Diego and Mangle and their champagne drinking. Mangle talks about when she first arrived how the smell and sounds bothered her. She thought she was condemned to the worst luck thanks to Daddy but when she laid her eyes on him (Diego) the place turned into paradise, I know she’s the villan but who can argue with that last part she has a point. Diego tells her she made an impression on him too when he first saw her, of course he thought she was a little too bold but he liked it. Mangle says he doesn’t know how bold she can be when in front of the man she likes (I think we already know, they ARE married). Mangle gets really close and kisses Diego. Diego offers more champagne and Mangle says no more she feels dizzy. So Diego instead entertains her with a magic trick. He makes the empty cup disappear under a napkin and reappear filled to the top with champagne from behind her. How did he do that I wonder. Mangle tells Diego he’s a box of surprises (you don’t know that half of it). Mangle wants to know what other intimate magic tricks he knows and Diego sorta evades her advance and asks Mangle what tricks she knows. Mangle makes the champagne disappear by swallowing every last drop. Diego laughs and says make it disappear again which she obliges.

FS is talking to himself wondering if Dena stole the key then crosses her off the list because she doesn’t know about it. FS thinks the key being lost or stolen is not a good sign. FS doesn’t care because to him nothing is as important as SK’s power than MP’s love. Once he gets that, everything else will follow. After sorta redeeming yourself you blow it with your crazy talk.

The VCR is yelling into the sewer if there is anybody hidden in there. Respond lady, don’t be afraid. Hermes tells SK that it’s the VCR and he personally came to help her. SK tells him it’s a trap and they will kill both of them. Hermes wonders to himself if everything SK’s told him is true and that’s really the VCR. I don’t understand Hermes, he’s sarcastic about SK’s story but he wants her to yell out. What’s the deal. VCR aptly points out that nobody answers and asks PS to get in with the torch and scope out the tunnel. Monty tells the VCR that his men will do that and calls to Machado. VCR says forget it its obviously a sewer and nobody could hide in there much less who they are looking for. VCR asks PS to check the basements as there is nowhere else left to look and to close up the sewer wall. Monty smiles and they do that music and commercial impactado pause but instead we get the guards (Auggy and somebody else) surprised that there was no answer and wonder if they are dead. If I didn’t know any better I would wonder if the smelled did them in, cuz I imagine that stinks like nobody’s business. Auggy orders the guard to bring food and water, he will investigate.

We have Esme and Dena chatting over tea, well Esme is the only one with tea anyways. I would think Dena shoulda taken some to calm that ulcer she’s been working on since meeting. Dena then asks Esme what’s wrong and Esme brings up that she can’t stand that Diego and Mangle will see each other everyday. Umm they are married they were bound to run into each other sometime. Dena reminds Esme that she is married to Monty and Esme says but she on the other hand has not done anything with Monty. Dena says well with men its different you know if they don’t get any they’ll get die or explode or soemthing, hehehe, not really but I remember reading that in health class under a heading lies a guy tells to get into your pants. Actually, Dena tells Esme that its not right for man to deny his wife relations. Esme tells Dena that Diego said he would not touch her. Dena tells Esme that he probably said that because he loves her and doesn’t want her hurt but c’mon, men never say no to that and do you think that Mangle will accept, not right now I have a headache. Apparently Dena’s little talk makes Esme doubt Diego and she says that she couldn’t stand it and she’s dying of jealousy.

Mangle and Diego again. Mangle goes to hug Diego and he offers more champagne. Mangle doesn’t want anymore she wants to kiss. Diego says first another cup of champagne it’s a very fine champagne from my dad’s collection, reserved for special occasions and this is very special (yeah because you always toast yourself into a stupor when you sleep with your bride for the first time, not that I’m angry just funny is all). Mangle says the champagne is a little strong but Diego pishaws and tells Mangle that she can hold her liquor, like the when we went out and you got me drunk. They laugh and Mangle falls asleep, I wonder what was in that champagne. Diego tells a sleeping Mangle, YOU got me drunk, ME who knows how to drink. Sorry Mangle but Esme is holding Monty off for me and it’s the least I can do for her.

At the prison, Olmos visits Tobi. Tobi thinks Olmos is there to get him out but nope Olmos isn’t a lawyer, Tobi is on his own. Tobi tells Olmos as secretary to Gov, he can do something. Olmos tells Tobi that he can’t promise anything. Olmos then asks Tobi if he trusts the FM, is it true that he designed the fencing technique used by Zorro because its obvious Tobi isn’t Zorro. Tobi tells Olmos that he thinks FM is not Zorro’s instructor because the only ability “Samaniego” has is to sharpen his knife for cutting into smoked ham. Olmos deduces he is an imposter and Tobi begs him to break the deal in finding out who Zorro is. Just get him out and he promises to unmask Zorro. Olmos acts like his hands are tied but when Tobi finds out Zorro’s identify give a holler, see ya wouldn’t want to be ya.

Cut to Cat feeding fake FM soup. FFM gets upset and calls her and hubby inconsiderate for taking him out to the reception at his age. He then coughs like he choked on a bone and Cat tells him she seems to recall he made out well at the party he never stopped eating. Cat just continues to spoon feed him his soup. He also tells Cat she is feeding a person not a donkey, call Tobi he knows how to feed me. Cat exasperated tells him don’t you remember you went to the wedding reception to finger Zorro and you ID’d Tobi as that bandit. FFM-What bandit? Cat-ZORRO! FFM-Don’t yell at me, what Zorro are you talking about? Cat-Samaniego, you’re a lost cause.. LOL!!!! Cat then gets an idea and asks FFM if she can get his address to write to his family and let them know he’s okay. FFM smiles and asks Cat if she isn’t the daughter of Prudencia, sister of Casilda. How is the harvest of (I didn’t get the word) and he goes on with the harvest while Cat rolls her eyes and can’t believe what she is hearing. ROTFL, I must have missed this part of the conversation prior to recapping.

At the prison, Monty tells VCR that he was informed VCR found nothing fishy in basement. VCR tells him it looks like they hid prisoner real well. M-Or she isn’t here, In what way do you want me to show you? VCR tells Monty that flattery (lisonja) doesn’t work on him only action and from what he’s seen Zorro has done on a number on him. Monty assures the VCR that he will capture Zorro real soon and Monty will deliver his head to Mexico. VCR tells Monty he will be waiting and asks PS if there is any other place they haven’t checked. PS assures him last place was basement and sewers and the entire prison has been run through several times. Well Viceroy, you know what they say when you loose something, its in the last place you looked (this case being sewer). VCR tells Monty that luck smiles on him. Monty smiles and asks VCR why is that women so important to the crown, maybe he can help. VCR tells him its better to ignore what he can’t control and tells him he is handing over maps and prison, he’s returning to Mexico. Monty acts like he cares, leaving so soon and VCR tells him don’t be a hypocrite. Trap Zorro because if not that delinquent will be his downfall. HA!

After their exit, VCR tells PS that the Marquesa lied to him and we get a commercial plug that takes the bottom portion of the screen for the Spanish version of Sex in the City, Sin Vergüenza (Without Shame or when combined sinvergüenza calling somebody shameless cute very cute ) I don’t give a fart about a trampy looking Gaby Espino who is supposed to be the executive. I remember when commercials were in between programs not during, those were the days but I digress. PS tells VCR that the Marquesa is very astute and “Aqui el problema es quien le pone primero el cascabel al gato”, translated means The problem here is who’s going first to put the bell on the cat, remember the cartoon where the mice tried doing that and nobody wanted to. I think that’s what there are talking about, who’s going to rat out Marquesa as liar first. VCR thinks if the Spanish crown has given her lots of power then its because they don’t know she lied and he’s more than willing to expose her as a liar, the Court exile her and cut off her privileges.

Back in the prison office, Monty tells Piza he should congratulate him. The VCR didn’t find SK. Piza tells Monty that they have to be more careful and not move SK until the VCR crosses the border. Monty agrees and now is the time to reap the rewards. He’s going to make FS to tell him the truth about SK. He knows FS said lies and half truths when he questioned him about SK Monty asks Piza aren’t you curious as to what she is hiding behind the “iron” mask besides a great hairstyle (okay the hair was just in my mind). Piza looks at Monty probably trying to figure out if he wants to play Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers. Monty tells Piza that FS will tell him the truth about SK or she dies.

MP and FS run into each other outside the church. FS tells MP that they should get married immediately and like every good bigamist they have to do it in another town. FS recommends San Diego. MP asks FS if he went crazy. FS says no its perfect, they can have their wedding with nobody opposing it, they can have children live happily ever after. MP asks why can’t family be there, is there something she should know about? FS IS ALREADY MARRIED is reason enough I think, but wait she don’t know that.

Dena and Esme discuss FS asking MP to marrying him and all the reasons why they shouldn’t. Dena says what we already have been talking about, FS is already married and Esme begs Dena not tell MP because she’ll confront FS and complicate things. Dena says that she will try without causing hurt but if worse comes to worse, she will do whatever it takes to stop that marriage. Dena, you better move your butt and quit the rehashing FS is going to elope.

Back to FS and MP discussing their plans. FS tells MP that he’s afraid the family will oppose the wedding. They don’t understand what moves him to marry MP. Don’t act like you are Romeo and MP is Juliet, because that’s not it, hello YOU ARE MARRIED! MP tells MP that she understands Dena, she’s lived with him and knows who difficult life’s been with him and it’s not bad for her to worry about him. FS goes on that he wants to change, heal his soul (and you tell me FS how is committing bigamy going to heal your soul, huh?) MP promises to help him in what she can and FS says then let’s get married I got the car all packed up and ready to go. MP says that they have no clothes, etc but FS convinces her and gives in. Oh, boy.

Back to Esme and Dena discussing what FS could have possibly told MP that would make her change her mind about taking her nun vows before God. Esme spots Diego in the plaza from her window seat and she’s ready to run out to him but Dena restrains her. Dena tells her it’s too public (remember last time Esme) and that she’ll arrange it they can talk privately. Dena talks to the owner of the establishment about arranging a room for her niece and someone else. Wow, how nifty that such privacy is readily available.

At the de la Vega’s Alej is about to ask Dolores where is Dena when they both see some Indians coming up the porch. Alej tells Dol he doesn’t know who they are but that they dress like Yumi’s tribe. Dol thinks that Yumi asked for them. Alej says something in the native tongue and one of them responds in kind. He then speaks Spanish, good because I don’t speak Indian, introduces himself as Adriel and says he is looking for Alej. Alej introduces himself and asks what they need.

Dena goes to Diego to tell him that Esme is waiting in a private room in the tea room but be careful cuz she has an escort. Diego runs off to meet Esme. Meanwhile Dena spots FS and MP riding in their getaway carriage and Dena runs to her carriage. Wakes up the driver and tells him to follow that carriage.

Esme and Diego meet privately and share a nice steamy kiss. Diego tells Esme that he has a lot to thank Dena for. They tell each other that they longed to meet again. Diego worries about Monty but Esme tells him she doesn’t know where he is, he’s been busy since VCR’s appearance. Diego tells Esme that he hopefully he continues to be busy. Esme says not possible else they can’t free her mom, duh Diego remember the mission; c’mon get your head in the game. Diego apologizes but said he wanted to be with her sooo bad. Esme then asks about Mangle. Diego tells her, she’s fine she’s sleeping, sleeping off her drunken state not precisely due to love. She’s sleeping her hangover that I gifted to her as payback for the one that forced me to ask for her hand. Esme looks at him doubtfully. Diego asks her what, you don’t believe me. Esme tells him of course, I see it in your eyes. Esme tells Diego she loves him and let’s face it after that the gift he gave Mangle, you gotta love him too. Diego tells her he loves her forever and they share another steamy kiss.

Meanwhile at the de la Vega’s Mangle has gotten up from her hangover and she’s got a splitting headache. Maldito Diego, you got me drunk. Looks like Mangle is going to be sick and runs to the bathroom to puke, HA, HA!

Back to Diego and Esme. Esme tells Diego when she leaves with her mom, she doesn’t want to leave him alone. Mangle is very astute and bold and will not rest until she has him. Diego tells her don’t worry, trust in him like he trusts her. They discuss if the VCR’s left and if she’s heard anything from gitanos. Esme tells him no news but she hopes VCR leaves soon. Diego doesn’t mean to be insistent but he wants to be informed as to everything she does. They agreed to free SK together so he wants to know any change in plans. Esme says don’t worry and promises to keep him informed. Okay the de la Vega’s better start stocking up on ulcer meds, their health is the on the line here. They kiss some more, this time with their theme song.

The VCR and crew are leaving and Monty wishes him a good trip. Olmos walks by and notices the departure. Olmos acts surprised that VCR is leaving and starts asking questions regarding the visit and if he was here to visit a prisoner, cute Olmos. Monty tells him no, he was here on state matters and what do I owe the honor of your visit. Olmos hands him the contract papers and tells him he owns Esme’s fortune and he hopes Monty knows how to multiply it as it is a sizeable sum. Monty tells him not to worry because he wants to assure his son’s future and his wife’s. Olmos acts like its wonderful idea as Esme deserves to be happy and he’s sure she will be by his Monty’s side. Monty tired of this little chat leaves and calls for Piza. Piza looks at Olmos (I think he’s not convinced of Olmos’ well wishes for the happy couple) and then follows Monty like the good little lap dog he is. Olmos tells Monty’s dust cloud enjoy your happiness while you can because pretty soon you will lose everything.

Back to the de la Vega’s where Adriel and Alej are sharing a peace pipe. I never thought I’d ever say that in my life. Adriel’s been informed that Yumi is alive and she’s been staying there. Alej asks if they are really her family as it was his understanding that they all disappeared. Adriel tells him they’ve been in hiding from the white man and they should never know where they are. Yes, they belong to the same tribe and he’s there because the grandmother (Adriel said a name that I didn’t catch) is on her death bed and wants to see her granddaughter Yumi before she crosses the big river. Alej says he will get her, Yumi should see her before the voyage. Adriel tells Alej that the gods will help White Buffalo, in his name. Alej is impactado at this name and is surprised that she is still alive.

FS apparently traveled to a church in San Diego and is arranging for a marriage ceremony with the priest while MP waits. He tells the priest, they are going to get some things and will return. FS tells MP that he said who he was and he wants to get married and the priest agreed; well he is the governor I mean what’s the priest going to say no? MP doesn’t look thrilled and FS asks what’s wrong. MP tells him that she wanted a big wedding, with her brother and family and FS says don’t worry after our wedding we’ll through a great reception party and have the family present. Now they are going to buy clothes because he wants her to look her prettiest. FS and MP kiss with their theme song.

Del sees Alej and asks what’s wrong. Alej informs Dena that it appears that the Indians belong to Yumi’s tribe. Del also thought they were all dead but Alej tells her nope they didn’t and they want Yumi and guess what the grandmother’s name is, White Buffalo. Del is surprised, White Buffalo the same name as Regina’s grandmom. They both realize that Yumi and Regina are sisters and that would explain the similarity. Del is impactada and then we get the anvil dropping sound a pause and Del is still impactada. I’m sure you guys got a word for that but not sure what that is.

Cut to Esme walking along the plaza and Olmos riding up in a carriage trying to catch her. Olmos asks Esme to get in the carriage, everything is ready for SK’s prison break. Esme says I have to tell Diego but Olmos tries to stop her saying that they agreed not talk about it to anybody and it has to be now or never. Esme is end credit impactada and worried at the same time.

END OF EPISODE