Caray, Caray!

The episode begins with Diego and Esmeralda meeting in the church sanctuary. He tells her how he feels—that he loves her above everything and that he acted like an idiot because he was jealous. Diego says he knows she never was “with” Monty and he apologizes for hurting her and asks for forgiveness. She tells him she forgives him, but they’ve talked about this already. Diego interrupts her and says don’t remind me. He finishes by saying I’ll pledge in front of this alter that no matter what happens, I’ll always love you & even though we can’t be together you’ll always be in my heart.

Mariangel sees Diego walk out of the sanctuary and asks him where he’s been. He tells her that he wanted to be alone and walks away from her to emphasize the point. Across the church Esme returns to her seat and MA catches sight of this and knows she was with Diego. You can practically see steam come out of MA’s head, she is royally ticked. Catalina sees all of this and smiles.

Outside in the plaza, preparations are being made for the day’s award ceremony. Montero is “supervising” the activity. So he is finally going to do as the Marquesa commanded and give Don Alejandro de la Vega the award from the Spanish Crown. Diego exits the church and sees Monty. The two men exchange insults. Monty mentions that his wife will be at his side during the award ceremony. This sets Diego off, and he says let’s settle this for once and for all. Diego removes his jacket and starts dancing around with his fists in a boxers stance, except he looks like a little boy playing boxing. Monty warns Diego to be careful, he’s threatening one of the King’s men. Diego says, no I’m not threatening the commander, I’m challenging the man. Let’s meet without swords or pistols. We’ll do this mano a mano. Diego continues to do little jabs with his fists, which are accompanied by silly sound effects. Monty gives no credit to Diego’s challenge. So Diego resorts to the tried and true BOCK-BOCK chicken sound (he’ really doing a fine job of imitating the little boys on the playground). He taunts Monty further by saying, are you afraid? The steam is coming out of Monty’s head, but he doesn’t take the bait. Diego says pick a date and time and we’ll settle this. Still, surprisingly, Monty doesn’t give into the childishness. Then Diego pulls out the big guns. He tells Monty that Esme may be the woman he (Monty) married, but she is the woman who loved him (Diego). That does it, Monty tells Diego to set the date and time. Diego suggests out in the desert, this afternoon. He adds that he’ll be coming alone and expects Monty to do likewise.

Governor Fernando Sanchez is proposing to Hermana Maria Pia. She tells him to stop, she has a pain in her heart—she still thinks of him as a terrible person who killed her brother’s wife. He tells her he’s suffered for years because of a falsehood, he did not kill that woman. Fernando reminds her that his home was broken into years before and the murder weapon was stolen (yeah, like that excuse hasn’t been used from everything from Murder She Wrote to Law & Order---come up with a better, more convincing, ORIGINAL story!!). Maria Pia thinks Fernando is lying (I wonder why?). FS tells her to accept that she made a mistake in blaming him for Regina’s death. A mistake that caused him to lose her. He realizes that perhaps she’s unwilling to accept her mistake because the “lie” has lived so long in her mind and now she cannot let it go. Maria Pia is upset, starts to cry and walks away from Fernando. She runs into Diego who wants to know what’s wrong. She tells him something vague about being in the bottom of a pit with no way out. Diego presses for more info---he wants to know if she’s upset about Fernando or her upcoming consecration as Mother Superior. She tells him not to worry, it’s just something that she has to solve on her own. Diego tells he that he’s there for her if she needs him.

Burns and Smithers are plotting their evil deeds soon to be wrought on the town of Springfield, oops I mean, Monty and Pizarro are rehashing their plans and Monty’s upcoming boxing match with Diego. Pizarro wonders if Diego is trying to trick Monty as a way to get back at him for his false imprisonment. He’s sure that Diego holds a grudge (yeah, like he should have no hard feelings after been nearly beaten and tortured to death). Just as a precaution, Monty tells Pizarro to have his men hiding nearby in the desert. They move on to a new subject, have they sent Alejandro his letter about the award ceremony. The naughty boys have something up their collective sleeves, and Pizarro has decided that SAM, their favorite sargent, ought to be the one to deliver the letter. It involves trying to humiliate the de la Vegas---that's all we, the audience, know so far.

In the garden outside the de la Vega hacienda, Yumali is performing some sort of native dance involving flowers and some sort of weird yoga-thai chi movements. Alejandro watches from the distance and Dolores comes upon the scene. Now Yumi is starting to dance around in a circle, she looks pretty foolish. She comments that Yumi’s little routine is just like something Regina would have done. Al explains that Yumi is offering a tribute to the fertility god and announcing that there will be two weddings (Wow, he got that from her weirdo movements---he's gotta be like the Indian Whisperer). Dolores suspects that Yumi must come from the same tribe as Regina. They speculate how could Yumi have survived, when Al thought that Diego was the only one who survived the tribe’s massacre.

Dena and Esme run into each other outside church. Dena asks after Esme’s general well-being and comments that she saw her met with Diego. The two rehash that a bit and then discuss Monty. Esme says she needs to talk to Padre Tomas. Dena is worried (she’s been hanging out with Al too long) that Esme will get into trouble with Monty. Dena promised that she wouldn’t leave Esme alone (man, this whole situation is a classic case study for an abusive/domineering relationship---he's even got her family in on his sick twisted domination tactics). Esme gets Dena to help cover so she can meet with PT. Esme tells Dena that she’s happy because Diego asked for forgiveness and has restored his faith in her and her love.

Mariangel chats with Cat (who is a hopeless romantic, like someone commented on in a previous day's post, and she also likes to get people’s goat). Cat tells MA that no one missed Diego and Esme meeting off to the side in the sanctuary---it looked pretty intense. MA says that nothing happened because Diego is angry with Esme for being with Monty. Cat suggests with such intense feelings something is bound to happen between the two. MA says no way Jose, she’s going to marry Diego in one week and Esme is already wed to Monty, so nothing will happen (yeah, like two loveless marriages are going to block the path of true love!!).

Diego goes to the bar to toss a couple back. He wonders how he can hate someone so much, more than he’s ever hated anyone in his life before. I suspect it is because some weasley jerk has forced the woman he deeply loves into marriage, that would be a good place to start....we won't even explore the post traumatic stress of being tortured and fasley imprisoned.

Esme meets Padre Tom. He tells her that he saw her meet Diego in the sanctuary (so the secret run-in wasn’t that secret after all….how does Esme think Monty’s not going to hear about this when half the town saw her with Diego). Padre Tom read their body language as being desperate. Esme tells PT that she has something that she should tell Diego, but can’t do it right now. She wants to tell PT but he’s got to keep in hush-hush. So she gets him to hear her confession (otherwise she doesn’t trust the priest?). She tells him that she is preggers con el bebé de Diego. This must be the most shocking confession Padre Tom has heard, because he can’t even cover up his expression.

Olmos is playing the peeping Tom, watching Mariangel get prepped for her mid-day bath (I can’t help but comment, that these scenes obviously are gratuitously throw in for the male viewers). By the smirk on MA’s face, I suspect she knows Olmos is out there ogling her from the hall. Olmos leaves his hiding spot and goes to his room. He starts one of his now familiar rants. He goes on about MA marrying Diego and how she is so enchanting and there is no way that Diego will be able to resist her charms. He intensifies his pity party and mentions that even as his wealth grows and he’s being given special jobs to do, he’ll always be so damned alone. He begins a mad laugh and his eyes are crazy-glazed over.

MA sponges herself some more to provide further enjoyment from the male contingent of the Zorro audience. She yearns for her honeymoon with Diego (Mariangel, hope you got some more drops of that love potion, because without it there is no way you’ll get Diego to touch you). She flashes back to her little exchange w/ Diego in the church. She states how she hates her sister and there’s got to be something she can do to get Esme out of her way because she’s willing to do whatever it takes to make Diego hers.

Esme approaches Diego in the bar. She tells him that she loves him and with what he told her in the church, she’s been able to regain peace. Alas, this was just a daydream on Diego’s part. Bummer.

PT advises Esme to tell Diego the truth. She says not now. PT says to keep a child hidden is an offense to God. Esme says she knows what Diego will do if he finds out and PT tells her that between the two of them they should be able to find a solution to their problems. He goes on to add that children should not have to pay for the mistakes of their parents (sorry to say, still happens even 200 years later). Esme says that Diego will either go after Monty or try to get Esme to flee out of town with him. She can’t let that happen for two reasons 1)Many people depend on Diego and if he goes after Monty his secret identity might be revealed 2) Is something important to her, but she can’t tell the good padre about it right now.

Olmos comes across Diego in the bar, he tries to avoid him (you know, the quick turn and pretend like you didn’t see them even though they are right in front of your face move---well it rarely works and Olmos isn’t exactly one to blend in with a crowd). So Diego calls him over. The men rehash the award that Monty’s going to give to Al. Diego thanks Olmos for helping him when he was courting Esme. He offers a drink for thanks. Diego muses that what a strange twist of fate, that is so cruel, to separate him from Esme and now he’s going to marry MA (ouch, for poor Olmos). Olmos asks Diego what’s up with the whole marriage thing, when you are in love with Esme. Diego says some stuff about the law and honor coming before love. Olmos gets a little poetic about love and our Diego seems to have had a little too much to drink and takes this ode to love a little too seriously.

Maria Pia cries outside the convent. The Cardinal happens upon her and starts to discuss her consecration ceremony. She’s too distracted to talk now and tells him she’ll look things over and get back to him. Se leaves and the Cardinal speculates that perhaps she’s having some doubts about all of this. MP goes and prays to God for guidance. She wonders if she was wrong all of these years, could Fernando truly be innocent? If his turns out to be innocent, then she’s made a huge mistake and thrown away her life (serious red flag here---I don’t think she’s ready to commit to the holy orders if she thinks her life has been a waste---she needs to do some soul searching, for sure).

Fernando wonders why MP cannot believe he is innocent. He then flashes back to massacring Indians, more specifically Regina. He pulls the knife out of his boot and states that he won’t lose MP because of an error. She has no idea what lengths he’ll go to get her; he vows to keep fighting for her. This is another bummer for me, because I so wanted to believe he wasn’t involved and even though I knew it was too good to be true, I really hoped he was telling the truth. Man, he definitely is all shades of gray. I just love this character. He’s so intense and although his love would be creepy possessive in real life, it sure makes for some great television.

Al and Yumi are examining Quixote in the stables. Al starts to fish for info on Yumi’s tribe. She wants to know why he’s asking, they are all dead. Al uses the pretext that he wants to know more about her. Meanwhile, Dena arrives at the hacienda and Dolores tells her that Al’s in the stables. Dena decides to go look for him there, she’s got a surprise for him. Back in the stable, Yumi starts in on Al about how he took her from her path (she refers to herself in third person, AGAIN!!). She was going to kill the enemy of her people, but he stopped her and gave her a new path to follow and now he’s just trying to push her away. Al tells her that she’s important to him, she’s such a warrior and she saved his life (he starts referring to her in third person, too. It must be catching.). He cares about her deeply, just like he cares about Diego and Dena. Not a good thing to say, because at that moment Dena arrives at the stable. Yumi starts to talk about how Al is important to her, he was the first man to ever kiss her---newsflash to Dena. Yumi goes on and says that with that kiss he changed her and then she moves in for another kiss with Al. Dena sees it all---little did she know she was the one in for a surprise.

Padre Tom wants to clear some stuff up, so he asks Esme if her marriage to Monty is a farce. She says they’ve never consummated it. PT asks her what she thinks will happen when Monty finds out she’s preggers. She tells him that he already knows. PT is surprised. Esme goes on to explain that she had to tell him because he was trying to get her to consummate the relationship and she was worried about the baby (OK, I’ve gone to confession and I have to say, she’s telling this priest waaaayyyy too much info ----I even feel uncomfortable for Padre Tom, he’s getting a lot more than he bargained for out of hearing this sacrament). PT tells her she really needs to tell Diego the truth. She says she will, just not right now. She can’t tell PT what she’s waiting for, but once it happens she’ll let Diego know. She leaves and is able to get out past the soldiers in the church.

Pizarro give SAM his orders to deliver the letter to Alejandro. They really don’t say what the letter says, but I gather it has something to do with the awards ceremony. SAM is pleased that his captain selected him to deliver the honor. SAM suggests getting the best horse decorated and to arrive to the hacienda in full glory, an arrival truly befitting the honor he’s to give to Al. Pizarro tells SAM that he was selected because every other soldier was busy and there is no way he’s taking a horse, SAM can deliver the message on his mule. SAM is shocked, and asks several times, on my mule? Is this perhaps part of Monty and Pizarro's plan to humiliate the de la Vegas?

Tobias and the Maestro discuss the upcoming weddings and how they will be a great opportunity to mix with society’s elite. There they can find the man who is masquerading as Zorro. I think it would be quite funny if Tobi, who is so sure he’s to get an invite, does not get one. He and the Maestro will end up being the wedding crashers.

Pizarro wraps Monty’s hands (probably thrilled to have the chance to actually touch Mr. Burns, I mean Monty). They rehash a bit. Monty shares a memory from childhood when he had to leave the plaza because Don Alejandro and his son were coming through (he is such a big baby and has quite the inferiority complex). Monty utters some more about his hatred for the rich spoiled Diego de la Vega. If it wasn’t for that meddling Marquesa and her dogs he’d have gotten away with his plan to kill Al and frame Diego and keep him imprisoned forever. Pizarro wonders if it is wise for Monty to fight Diego on the day they’re going to honor Al. Monty says it was all Diego’s idea (that logic never worked with my parents for me & my siblings, I somehow don’t think it will get Monty out of trouble if things go awry, he should remember, it takes two to tango and there is still the Marquesa to answer to, even though she left town---here's hoping she will return). Thinking of the honor, Monty realizes that Al will have an even mor elevated position in society and with that, any betrayal he commits against the Crown would be punished more harshly. This gives Monty a perverse thrill. He’ll get back at the de la Vegas and then he’ll take their land and property, even their Indians (this I don’t get, who knew he had any interest in them---also disturbing that they get lumped together with property and land).

Diego runs into Esme. They rehash a bit about what happened in the church. Diego suggests that they do something impulsive to protect their love. He wants Esme to run away with him that night. Cue the music/ End credits.

Labels: Zorro