Caray, Caray!

Lest we forget, today's episode begins with a repeat of Little Doormat telling Dimwit that Fidiota is their mother! Dimwit is impactada. She looks confused as well, but that's par for the course.

Pancho and Caramel are squabbling over her working at Perfumes 'R Us. Pancho is macho and he doesn't like the idea of his little woman working in close proximity with Emili-Oh, AKA Munequito de Pastel. This literally means either "Doll of Cake" or "Ventriloquist Dummy of Cake." Either way, we can tell Pancho is not happy Caramel is working with Emili-Oh. He then orders Caramel to stop working at the factory. Our fiery red head tells him he's not the boss of her. We then get the "I am macho!" speech. Caramel points out he's a bigamist and in no position to tell her what to do. She also doesn't like the fact he refers to her and Peyote as hembras (female animals). Pancho is clearly losing his argument.

Octopus and Paco are fighting about Paco's spending time with Fidiota in jail. Octopus doesn't like it! She's spewing the usual venom. She's also still wearing her 1970's Frederick's of Hollywood red jump suit.

Caramel and Pancho are still fighting, but no one is winning. Finally Pancho tells her he's so macho, he would like a third woman! Caramel announces that he'll get 10 years in jail for each woman when she tells the police. He then tries to make it up to her and starts kissing her. Caramel is clearly back under his spell again. Caramel needs a life!

More fighting between Paco and Octopus. Octopus is pushing all Paco's buttons. Finally he says she deceived him in Key West. She is truly a viper. He stomps off for emphasis.

Pancho suggests he and Caramel get a hotel room. She abruptly breaks off the kiss and wipes her mouth. She then lays into him, comparing him to a little dog on the streets. She then walks off. Pancho can't believe how feisty Caramel has become. He then fantasizes of going to an Arab country and having six or seven women. We then have a scene of Pancho in a turban and a bunch of women belly dancing while Peyote and Carmel are feeding him grapes. Back to reality; "Muchas hembritas. Muchas!!"

Little Doormat repeats, "Fidiota is our true mother!" Glassy-eyed Dimwit asks, "What are you saying?" Head tilt. Gaby then repeats how Fidiota confessed after the shooting. Dimwit then tells Gaby she just doesn't understand. She has definitely earned her nickname Dimwit. Geez!

Fidiota is languishing in her cell. She's dressed in black from neck to ankles. She looks like a cat burglar. Fidiota flashes back to the night of the shooting. Taking the fall for Gaby is a small price to pay after not taking care of her girls for so many years. Pobre de Fidiota.

Maxi-Moron is blathering on and on to Yolanda about Marfil. She's like she was before the accident when they were so much in love. Yolanda is telling him to not let down his guard, she's not convinced Marfil is so sweet. Max is trying to press her for more details, but DoQ walks in to check on his patient. "How are you feeling?" Max wants to be sincere; he didn't realize he could feel so bad all the time.

The Violin Union is pulling out all the stops for this maudlin scene between Little Doormat and Dimwit. Lots of sniffling and sniveling. "Our pobre mama!! She has suffered so much!! Dimwit wants to run to the jail right there and then and let Fidiota know Dimwit now knows the truth! The violins hit a crescendo, but some how, Dimwit and Little Doormat end up sitting on the floor repeating what is now "old news" to us.

Pancho has bellied up to the bar at Paco's Pesadillo. Pancho orders a double rum. He then regales Jorge with how macho he is and how the women are fighting over him. Suddenly we hear hooting and hollering and in blows Sylvie in what can only be described as "big hair." At least it's a normal shade. She's got on a black tank with white skirt with red biker shorts and is skipping into the club. She slurs her drink order and starts hanging on Pancho. "Do you remember me?" asks Sylvie. "Sure I do," responds Pancho. "You witnessed my wedding with Peyote." Unmemorable small talk ensues, with Pancho finally admitting things between him and Peyote aren't so good.

Dimwit and Gaby arrive at the police station to see Fidiota, but the big meanie detective tells them visiting hours are over. Dimwit is still wearing that ridiculous vest that looks like it was made from Max's old blue pastel sweater that was mistakenly washed in hot water by mistake. It is definitely too tight. Gaby tries to plead and grovel for just five minutes with Fidiota, but no dice. He's just not in the mood to negotiate. "It's 9:00 at night! Come back tomorrow." Our Little Doormat and Dimwit look disappointed.

Sylvie is coming on to Pancho in the bar. She doesn't want to die a virgin. She starts making fish lips at him. Pancho seems amused. This comic routine goes on for a short while. Pancho can't believe she's never been with a man. Sylvie says she wants her first time to be with someone as smooth and rich as him! More fish lips.

Luscious has come to pay Max and Yolanda a visit. Yolanda has great news!! Tomorrow they are going to take the bandages off Max! Larry is happy. Max wants to get a jump on the next day. They have to stop him from unwrapping the gauze. Yolanda turns over her post to Larry, who plans on staying by Max's side all night. Max wants to know where Marfil is. Larry says she at the house, and by the way, he's not convinced she can be trusted. Suspenseful music plays.

Sylvie is offering to pay "Panchi-Panchi" for a night of lovin'. Pancho thinks to himself, it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. It might as well be him!

Marfil is hanging out with Icky Isabel. Isabel wants Fidiota to pay dearly for killing her saintly nephew Andres. Marfil assures her they are all going to pay. Isabel wants to know if Marfil has a plan yet. "No," says our foxy femme fatale. "I'm still working on being angelic and recapturing Max. Once he's mine, Diana is going to be very sorry she ever crossed my path!" The Orchestra of Doom strikes a chord.

Sylvie is still trying to work her mojo on Pancho. She offers him $500. He says he's worth $3,000. Sylvie is impactada!

Diablo is barking at Granny M to do something about her wayward granddaughter. Granny M retorts that Dimwit is a decent woman who has done nothing wrong. Diablo is being an idiot and making things worse. Diablo asks, "So now it's my fault?!" About that time Dimwit and Gaby walk in. Diablo wants to know where she's been. Why hasn't she called? Dimwit says she's not in the mood, and "No, I wasn't at the hospital!? "Lies, lies, and more lies!!" shouts Diego. Dimwit says it's the truth, she was at the jail. She then announces she needed to see Fidiota because she just found out. . .Fidiota is her true mother! The Orchestra of Doom starts crashing cymbals, throwing tin cans, dumpsters, and in general, making a huge racket. Diablo is impactado. Commercial.

The comic scene between Sylvie and Pancho continues. Sylvie doesn't know where she can get $3,000. Pancho tells her he's worth every penny of it and she'll never find a better specimen of a man in all of Miami. He's so macho! Pancho then leaves and Sylvie asks Jorge if he can loan her the money. "If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be here. I'd be in Hawaii!" I think if he had that kind of money, he wouldn't be in Acorralada.

More tears shed by Gaby, Dimwit, and Granny M, with Diablo looking on. More re-hashing of the situation with Pobre Fidiota! Diablo says everything makes sense now. "I always wondered why she was so protective and generous with you all." Blah, blah, blah. Gaby runs up the stairs hysterical. Diablo wants to know why Gaby is reacting so strangely. "She's just sensitive," says Dimwit.

Lala and Peyote are fighting. Peyote wants to go out and find drugs; she's going through withdrawal. Lala doesn't want her leaving. Peyote starts getting hysterical. She needs to get out of the house; she knows Pancho is with Caramel. Lala says it dangerous and besides, Lala doesn't want her looking for drugs. Peyote tells Lala, Lala is nothing but a servant and can't tell her what to do. Lala retorts things have changed. You are living in my house. The fight reaches a peak and Peyote gets ready to hit Lala. Pancho walks in just in the nick of time and puts a stop to it. Commercial.

Pancho breaks up the fight. Lala tells Peyote she needs help. Everyone seems to blame Peyote's problems on Pancho for being such a varon. Peyote starts crying and begs for Lala's forgiveness. Peyote then collapses in a heap on the floor sobbing.

Gaby is still sobbing about killing Andres and now their own MOTHER is in jail because of her. She can't get it out of her mind. Dimwit tries to comfort her saying Gaby had every right in the eyes of the law to defend herself against Andres.

Pancho tries to comfort Peyote, without success. Lala then blames Pancho on Peyote's drug use. He points out Peyote was doing drugs before they ever met. Pancho then points out that he, personally, has never done drugs.

At Merciless Medical, Larry and Emili-Oh are tucking in a sleeping Maxi-Moron. By the way, what ever happened to Camila? In her little mind, she and Max are getting married. She swore she would never leave his side. What gives? OK, back to the show. While Larry is tucking in the covers, Emili-Oh keeps patting Max's leg. They sneak out of the room, and as they leave the hospital, Doc Evil sneaks in. "I want Diana to suffer mucho!" The Orchestra of Doom is front and center and going ballistic! Commercial.

Right as Doc Evil reaches over to asphyxiate Max, Max is "saved by the nurse." While she's presumably checking his vitals, which includes a stethoscope being strategically placed all over his chest, Doc Evil sneaks out of the room.

Pasta (aka Paco) is visiting Fidiota. He wants to know who she's protecting, since he knows she could never have killed anyone. She denies she is covering for anyone. Pasta knows she's hiding something.

Yolanda and Emili-Oh are getting ready to go to the hospital for Max's unveiling. Just as they are getting ready to leave, Rene appears. Yolanda says she doesn't have time since she's getting ready to leave, but Rene is persistent. "It will only take 5 minutes. By the way, Emili-Oh, can you vacate your apartment so I can have a moment alone with Yolanda?" Big Doormat wants to know what is so urgent that it can't wait. Rene says he has three words to tell her. "I love you!" Yolanda is impactada! I'm impactada because I haven't seen Rene's dimple in what seems like ages.

We have a new jailer guiding Dimwit by her elbow to Fidiota's cell. The only cell in the whole Miami jail system. Apparently the jailer is afraid Dimwit will get lost. Dimwit is wearing some sort of boring brown dress. She and Fidiota spend five minutes just staring at each other. Dimwit looking glassy-eyed as always. Dimwit blurts out, "There's something I want to tell you. I came to say. . . Mama!" Another five minutes of staring at each other with not a dry eye in the jail! The sappy music plays throughout.

Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada